Dying of Such Love

by M.S. Wilson

As always, you can address any comments or questions to contact me at anarchyinsk@hotmail.com 

            The harsh Egyptian sun beat down on the trail along the Nile, reflecting off the rippling water and filling the air with a torpid heat. Gabrielle shifted behind some reeds as she studied the strange caravan nearing her position. After almost a year in Egypt, she still hadn’t gotten used to the dry heat of the afternoons, but she’d learned to cope with it. She’d been hiding there since sunrise and was glad her vigil was finally paying off. She’d been asked by the priests of Beit El Wali to find out who was intercepting the gold shipments heading downriver to Elephantine. The thieves were apparently quite clever, transferring the stolen gold between multiple points and using other groups to create false trails. Gabrielle’s relentless investigations had eventually borne fruit and she’d managed to find out where and when the thieves would be bringing their illicit cargo up the river.

            As the train of camels got closer, Gabrielle studied the guards, noting there were only six of them. She assumed the thieves were trying to look like normal traders to avoid drawing attention to themselves ... that should work to her advantage. She tensed as they approached the dip in the trail where she’d laid her first trap. As soon as all the camels were in the small depression, Gabrielle cut the taut rope beside her, releasing the old blankets she’d concealed under a layer of sand. The linens flew into the air, scattering sand over the thieves and blinding some of them. They stopped, spitting out the sand and cursing, but they seemed to think the sand had been tossed up by an errant breeze. Gabrielle smiled to herself as she prepared to enlighten them.

            She whipped her arm forward, sending the chakram on a curving path that cut all the bindings on the camels. The thieves cursed some more as the heavy packs full of stolen gold toppled to the ground. While they were distracted, Gabrielle caught the chakram, replacing it on her belt before drawing her sais and rushing out to confront the thieves. Cries of alarm greeted her appearance, but she ignored them and went for the closest opponents, two guards who were struggling to draw khopeshes from under their robes. Gabrielle got to them first, taking them down with a couple of quick double-hits to their heads with the hilts of her sais.

            The other guards actually managed to get their weapons out, for all the good that did them. Gabrielle went low, taking the first man down with a leg sweep and knocking him out with a punch to the head. The last three tried to surround her, but she’d learned how to deal with multiple opponents from Xena a long time ago. She kept moving, tagging the thieves where she could until she wore them down and overcame them one by one. She took a break to catch her breath and drink some water from one of her waterskins before kneeling beside a semi-conscious opponent.

            She used the Pinch to interrogate him, his resolve quickly fading as he felt the blood flow to his brain being shut down. He confirmed that he and his fellow thieves were hardly more than couriers, meant to deliver the gold to their boss, a man named Kamenwati. Gabrielle tied the thieves up and checked to make sure the stolen gold was in the packs before signalling with a piece of polished metal. While she waited for the temple servants to arrive, she pondered her next move. She knew the priests would want her to track down whoever was behind the thefts and she wanted to find them. She didn’t care much about the gold, but she’d run across Kamenwati’s schemes before and knew he was much more than just a thief. He was a renegade priest who led a cult dedicated to some mysterious god, preaching that the old Egyptian gods no longer deserved the adulation of the people. He was suspected of kidnapping young people from the villages and temples, probably to be sold into slavery. Kamenwati had to be stopped.

            As she predicted, the priests asked her to track Kamenwati down and bring him to justice. She agreed and set out for the oasis in the desert where the thieves were supposed to meet Kamenwati to drop off the gold. She took the camels and a handful of temple servants along, to make it look to anyone watching from the oasis that the thieves were delivering their cargo as usual. As the group slowly made its way across the burning sands, Gabrielle’s mind wandered back to the long months she’d spent here in Egypt. Cleopatra’s death and the ever-expanding borders of the Roman Empire had kept her busy, fighting bandits, spies, and troublemakers of all sorts. She’d made expeditions to the Red Sea, into the deserts, and down beyond the farthest cataract into the steaming jungles ... a place even Xena had never been.

            Xena. She couldn’t believe it had been almost a year since she’d lost her soulmate. At first, she’d thrown herself into her heroic activities just to keep from thinking about her loss. But that hadn’t worked. She felt Xena’s absence every time she threw the chakram, every time she used the Pinch, and every night she spent alone, gazing up at the stars through eyes blurred by tears. There were times the pain in her heart had been so overwhelming, she’d actually considered giving up and just joining Xena in the afterlife. But whenever she’d gotten that despondent, Xena’s spirit always showed up to make her feel better. She wasn’t sure how Xena managed to manifest to her, but she suspected it had something to do with their deep connection. Xena was part of her, just as she was part of Xena, and even death couldn’t break that bond.

            But as the wrenching pain of loss had faded to a dull ache in her heart, Xena’s visits had become less frequent. Gabrielle knew Xena was busy in the Underworld, helping restore order after Hades’ death, a death Xena was responsible for. That made her feel like it was her job to set things right, stopping the worst elements of Tartarus from overrunning the place and allowing the Judges to assert their authority in place of Hades. But Gabrielle still missed Xena and wished she’d visit more often. She hadn’t said anything, not wanting to make the warrior feel bad, but she knew Xena could hear her thoughts and she couldn’t control the growing loneliness those thoughts held.

            Gabrielle’s musings were cut short by one of her companions nudging her to point out the oasis ahead of them. Gabrielle drifted to the front of the column, pulling the scarf closer around her face and gesturing for her companions to do the same. As they got closer to the oasis, Gabrielle saw that the camp contained a sizable number of people. She looked at her companions, nodding for them to get ready. A guard hailed her at the edge of the camp and she raised a hand in greeting, her other hand grasping the chakram under her robes. She glanced past the guard and her blood ran cold as she noticed a row of prisoners, tied together by the wrists.

            She whipped the chakram forward, knocking out the guard and several men behind him. She drew her sais and charged, her companions following closely. They fought their way through the camp, tearing through Kamenwati’s men like they were children. Most of the cultists were eager, but not well-trained. Kamenwati’s personal guard was a different matter and Gabrielle faced them herself, knowing the temple servants weren’t good enough fighters to handle these men. But thanks to long experience, and Xena’s superb training, Gabrielle was more than a match for them. Kamenwati showed his true colours from the start, hiding behind his guards and exhorting them to kill the unbelievers to assure themselves a privileged place in the afterlife. She took them out one at a time, trying to avoid lethal strikes when she could and directing her companions to release the prisoners..

            The last guard was a young man who showed some competence with his khopesh. Gabrielle watched with frustration as Kamenwati grabbed several waterskins and jumped on a camel, riding out into the desert. She brought her attention back to the young man she was fighting, who was spouting a bunch of drivel about Kamenwati showing him the way and how he would be rewarded for his faith. He reminded Gabrielle of the zealots who’d tried to sacrifice Genaia; sometimes blind faith was as bad as evil intent. Finally, her opponent left himself open to a counter and Gabrielle kicked him in the face, knocking him backwards. She darted a look at the prisoners, now free from their bonds, but a flash of movement in her peripheral vision made her react instinctively. She blocked the khopesh with one sai and without thinking, plunged the other into the young man’s chest.

            Gabrielle stared at the man, hardly more than a boy, her hands trembling. She’d killed before, many times, though it was never her first choice. But this time felt different somehow; she had the feeling this kid had been taken in by Kamenwati’s lies, which didn’t necessarily make him a bad person. She looked westward, seeing Kamenwati’s figure get smaller and smaller as he rode the camel out into the desert. She shook her head. No, that could wait ... she had something more important to do right now.

            She ordered one of the temple servants to get water from the pool in the oasis and told the others to tie the rest of the cultists securely. She knelt beside the man she’d cut down and pulled the cloth away from his chest, exposing the wound. “Just stay still,” she said soothingly. “I’ll try to stop the bleeding.”

            The young man seemed to be in shock as she carefully washed out the wound. She used a variation of the Pinch to slow the bleeding while she stitched the wound neatly and applied a linen bandage dusted with powdered herbs from her belt pouch. She finished her ministrations, released the Pinch, and checked to make sure the bleeding had stopped. She gave the man a drink of water and said, “Don’t worry, I think you’re going to be all right.”

            He stared at her with wide eyes. “You fight and heal with equal skill. Are you a servant of Sekhmet?”

            Gabrielle smiled and shook her head. “No, I’m just a travelling bard who helps people who need it.”

            “But why would you help me after I tried to kill you?”

            Gabrielle patted his shoulder. “I get the feeling you’re not really a bad person, just misguided. You believed Kamenwati’s talk of better gods and rewards in the afterlife and that took you down a dark path. But being gullible doesn’t mean you deserve to die.”

            His eyes filled with tears. “You are right. Kamenwati promised so much, but when I found out his plans for the prisoners, I knew he was evil.”

            “What plans?”

            The man hesitated, then grabbed Gabrielle’s hand. “You helped me, now I will help you. There is a tomb in the desert to the west, dedicated to the god Kamenwati serves. He was planning to take all the prisoners there and sacrifice them. When I objected, he said ... he said I could serve as a sacrifice too, if I lost my faith.”

            Gabrielle squeezed his hand in reassurance. “From what I know of Kamenwati, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t planning on sacrificing you all along, and probably all his other followers too.”

            The young man swallowed. “Yes, you are probably right. I’ve been so blind ... how could I have fallen so far into darkness? You should have just let me die.”

            Gabrielle looked him straight in the eyes. “If there’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of, it’s that nobody is beyond redemption, no matter what their sins, no matter how far they’ve strayed from their true path. You just have to want it enough.”

            His eyes widened at her reassuring tone and he gave her a weak nod. She motioned for two of the temple servants to put him on a makeshift litter and carry him to where the camels were waiting. She ordered the servants to take the wounded man, the captured thieves, and the liberated prisoners back to the temple at Beit El Wali. She would follow Kamenwati into the desert and end his evil influence ... one way or another. After the entourage departed, Gabrielle looked out on the sun lowering in the west and decided to camp in the oasis overnight and pick up Kamenwati’s trail in the morning. Tracking him would be much easier during the daytime and she was pretty tired from the day’s adventures.

            As night fell, Gabrielle settled into the abandoned camp, using wood left behind by Kamenwati’s men to build a small fire. She looked up at the sky filled with stars. She thought back to the first time she’d come to Egypt with Xena, Cyrene, and baby Eve. The stars had looked different from those she was used to, giving her and Xena the chance to find new patterns in them. She sighed and looked into the flames; it was on quiet nights like this when she missed Xena the most. She sank into her memories, reaching into that place deep inside that contained the other part of her soul. A smile lit up her face as she felt the familiar presence manifest beside her.

            She turned her head to see Xena shimmering in the firelight, giving her that sassy grin that had always melted her heart. “Hey, I’ve been missing you. Things still hectic in the Underworld?”

            Xena shrugged. “Nah, Rhadamanthus, Aeacus, and Minos are handling things pretty well. After I smacked a few of the more uncooperative souls around, the rest fell in line. It’s almost back to the way it was before I killed Hades.”

            “Then why ... ?”

            “Why haven’t I been around lately?” Xena asked, her eyes unable to meet Gabrielle’s. “I thought ... maybe it was better for you not to see me so much.”

            Gabrielle forgot herself and tried to grab Xena’s shoulder, biting her lip in frustration when her hand passed right through. When Xena had first died, they’d been able to touch each other, but lately that wasn’t the case and Gabrielle worried their connection might be fading. “Why would you say that, Xena? I wish I could see you every day.”

            Xena finally looked up at her, guilt in her eyes. “Gabrielle, you need to get past ... what happened to me. You can’t do that if I’m always hanging around, reminding you.”

            Gabrielle shook her head. “Xena, are you saying you want me to forget about you and just go on with my life? Because that’s never going to happen.” Her voice broke and she cleared her throat, trying to hold back her tears.

            “See, that’s what I mean,” Xena said, raising a hand that suddenly became solid enough to wipe away the bard’s tears. “Seeing me is just prolonging your pain, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you more than I already have.”

            “Xena, not seeing you will hurt me a lot more.”

            Xena sighed. “You’ve got so much life left to live, Gabrielle. Do you really want to spend it mourning me? You should move on and find someone else to love. Not that your devotion isn’t romantic, but—”

            Gabrielle stood up and threw her hands in the air. “Xena, we’ve had this conversation before. I’m not going to fall in love with someone else. How can you even think that?”

            Xena’s translucent form rose and glided close to the agitated bard. “Gabrielle, you have so much love to give, and you deserve so much more from life than to spend it alone.”

            Gabrielle looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “So, does that mean you’ve moved on? I mean isn’t Marcus down there, or Lao Ma, or maybe Theseus ... he’d be just your type.” She saw a look of annoyance cross Xena’s face and smiled in triumph. “Ha, I knew it! You’re just as romantic as me, so cut the stoic warrior crap.”

            Xena stared t her for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Fine, you got me. I miss you as much as you miss me and I’m not giving my love to anyone until you get here.” She wagged a finger at her soulmate and shook her head in consternation. “Get that smirk off your face. It’s different circumstances and you know it. I’m dead, but you’re still alive and, the gods willing, you’ve got a lotta years left. I just hate to think of you not knowing love all that time.”

            Gabrielle’s smile faded to be replaced by a more serious look. “Xena, I still know love. I wake up every day and think about how much I love you and I’m going to keep doing that every day until we’re together again. It’s the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, knowing that we’ll see each other again some day, that everything we’ve been through was worth it on some level. So no matter how long it takes, whether you choose to stay away or not, I’m going to hold on to that love, and cherish it, and wrap it around me like a blanket, because my heart won’t let me do any less.”

            Tears fell from Xena’s eyes now and her voice was strained. “I know and I feel the same way. I guess I just feel guilty because my redemption has caused you so much pain.”

            Gabrielle shook her head, wiping tears from her own eyes. “No, Xena, I understand why you made that choice in Jappa and I can’t fault you for it. I’m glad you finally found that inner peace that you denied yourself so long. Yes, I wish things had worked out differently, but I would never want to take that away from you. I don’t mind waiting the rest of my life to see you ... you’re worth it.”

            Xena broke down completely and Gabrielle moved forward, their heightened emotions strengthening the bond between them enough that she could actually embrace the warrior. “You’re worth waiting for too, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope it’s a long wait,” Xena said, her voice hoarse with emotion.

            Gabrielle let out a choking laugh as she considered Xena’s words. There had been a few times, soon after Xena’s death, when she’d actually thought about ... speeding up their reunion. Luckily, Xena had talked her out of that.

            They pulled back and regarded each other’s tear-streaked faces. “You didn’t really think I was going to just move on and find love with someone else, did you?” Gabrielle asked.

            “Well, it was worth a try,” Xena said with a laugh. “But I guess if Aphrodite couldn’t convince you, I didn’t have much of a chance.”

            Gabrielle smiled as she remembered the Goddess of Love coming to her about six months after Xena’s death and urging her to move on. Gabrielle had appreciated the thought, but told Aphrodite the same thing she’d just told Xena ... her love for the dead warrior would never fade, and could never be supplanted by another. Aphrodite had gotten the message and hadn’t brought it up again.

            Xena and Gabrielle sat down by the fire again and Xena gave the bard a sideways glance. “You know, you wouldn’t necessarily have to fall in love. I mean, you might just want some ... temporary companionship.”

            Gabrielle blushed as she realized the meaning of Xena’s words. “Uh, no, I think I can manage that on my own.” She smiled as she recalled her remarks to Leah about “knowing herself”; yeah, she’d definitely gotten to know herself over the last year.

            Xena grinned at her. “Yeah, I noticed you’ve been spending a lot of ‘alone time’ in the bath.” Xena chortled as Gabrielle’s flush deepened. “Hey, nice to see some things never change ... I can still make you blush.”

            “Yeah, you were always good at that.”

            Xena looked at the fire and let her gaze travel around the oasis. “Hey, I saw the way you handled those guys yesterday. That was great, but you should watch out for Kamenwati. I have a bad feeling about him.”

            Gabrielle looked at her, frowning. “What do you mean? Do you know what he’s up to in the tombs?”

            Xena gave her a tolerant smile. “Gabrielle, I’m not a god. I can’t flit around and spy on people like Ares. The only reason I can show up here like this is because our connection is so strong. I only know what you know about what’s going on, but I still have my intuition, and it’s telling me to be careful of Kamenwati ... he’s more dangerous than he looks.”

            Gabrielle smiled at her. “Still looking out for me, huh?”

            A wistful look crossed Xena’s face. “Always.”

            They sat side by side for a while, just looking at the stars and listening to the peace of the desert. Finally Gabrielle lay down to get some sleep and Xena said good night. Gabrielle looked up at her and pleaded, “Could ... could you stay for a while? At least until I fall asleep?”

            Xena nodded and moved closer to the bard. “No place I’d rather be.”

            “Thanks,” Gabrielle said, pulling a blanket up to keep out the chilly desert air. “I love you, Xena.”

            “I love you too, Gabrielle.” Xena watched as the bard closed her eyes and settled down to sleep. She reached out hesitantly, stroking Gabrielle’s cheek with a ghostly hand, wondering if her soulmate could even feel it. Her throat tightened as she saw a contented smile appear on Gabrielle’s face, hardly aware of the matching smile that lit up her own features.

**********

            Gabrielle woke before sunrise the next morning, feeling the familiar ache in her chest at having to face another day without Xena. She thought about what the warrior had said the previous night, but decided that no matter how much it hurt, she didn’t want Xena to stop appearing to her. Not seeing her soulmate would hurt so much more. After a quick breakfast, Gabrielle scavenged a few things from the weapons and supplies Kamenwati’s men had brought to the oasis. She took several waterskins and filled them in the pool, stowing them away in a backpack with some food, a flint and tinder, and a coil of rope. She pulled the flowing robe up over her head and looked west, where the tracks of Kamenwati’s camel were plainly visible in the sand. She took one last drink of water from the pool and set out to follow the cult leader.

            The sun on her back was harsh, but she’d been in Egypt for almost a year and had adapted pretty well to the heat. She kept up a deliberate pace, not wanting to exhaust herself before she caught up with Kamenwati. She paused briefly when the sun was high in the sky to eat and drink, then pushed on. A few hours past noon, she saw a dark shape in the desert ahead. She resisted the impulse to rush, staying on Kamenwati’s tracks and watching carefully for any sign of ambush. When she reached the dark mass, she saw it was a small mastaba tomb, nothing like the grand pyramids she’d seen far downriver. The stolen camel stood beside the mastaba, regarding her placidly as she slowly approached. Kamenwati’s tracks led straight to the mastaba, but there didn’t seem to be any way to get inside. Gabrielle noticed hieroglyphs decorating the outside of the tomb and knelt to examine them.

            When she’d first come to Egypt, she’d found hieroglyphs fascinating but incomprehensible. She’d thrown herself into the study of them and had—with a little help from Xena’s spirit—managed to master the strange writing. These glyphs were mostly about the tomb itself, which was dedicated to Osiris, but they did give instructions on how to open the door into the tomb. Gabrielle briefly wondered why Kamenwati would hide out in a tomb consecrated to Osiris, if the rumours about him being a blasphemer and worshipping an evil god were true. She followed the instructions on the glyphs and manipulated the correct stone, stepping back as part of the rock wall swung open. Cold air issued forth, making her shiver despite the hot sun, and she thought she heard a strange wailing sound deep inside the tomb.

            Whatever lay inside, Gabrielle knew she couldn’t let Kamenwati go free, so she stepped over the threshold and waited a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the dim light. Stone steps led down into the ground, with torches set along the walls to light the way. She couldn’t see the bottom, but took a cautious step forward onto the first stair, wondering if Kamenwati might’ve left traps to surprise her. She remembered Xena’s description of Sisyphus’s castle, particularly the sliding stairs trap. As she made her way carefully down the stairs, she trailed her hands against the wall, grateful that the stairway was so narrow. Sure enough, a grinding noise alerted her to the trap and she braced her hands against the walls just as the stairs flattened beneath her feet. Knowing she couldn’t stay braced there all day, Gabrielle gingerly set her feet down on the smooth ramp and let herself slide, keeping her balance warily and using her hands to control her speed. She saw the gaping pit at the bottom of the stairs and released her hold on the walls to allow herself to flip over the dark opening, landing neatly on the other side.

            She looked down into the pit for a moment and shuddered before turning away to see what lay ahead. The corridor she was in made a sharp right turn and she eased up to the corner, peering around it with suspicion. Another stone corridor, lit by torches, but she knew at first sight this one was dangerous. The numerous broken and battered skeletons on the floor told her that, but despite the macabre tableau, she let a grim smile touch her lips as she saw a trail through the thick dust. Kamenwati had come this way not long before. She boldly entered the passage, every nerve on edge as she expected something to happen with each step. By the time she was halfway down the passage, she was starting to think Kamenwati had disabled whatever deathtrap it contained. Her hopes were dashed when a sliding sound from above alerted her and she looked up in horror to see the ceiling dropping toward her, numerous protruding spikes testifying to the fates of the skeletons surrounding her.

            Reacting purely on instinct, she whipped the chakram from her belt, sending it flying forward and up to wedge into the descending ceiling near the far end. She dove forward, tumbling several times and snatching the chakram as she rolled clear. The heavy stone roof slammed into the floor bare inches behind her, the noise almost deafening her. Kamenwati was sure to have heard it, but maybe he’d assume she’d been crushed and relax his guard. She replaced the chakram on her belt and brushed herself off, taking a drink from one of her waterskins. The passage took another right turn and she knew what awaited her around this bend before she even looked.

            Gabrielle could hear the crackle of flames and feel the heat radiating around the corner, so she wasn’t surprised to find a pit of fire blocking her path. More than a pit, the entire length of the corridor was filled with fire licking up from where the floor should be. Gabrielle shaded her eyes as she tried to see past the flames to the other end of the passage. She could just make it out, but it was at least ten bodylengths away, too far for her to jump. Kamenwati must’ve had some way of getting past, but she had no such advantage. After contemplating the situation for a while, she looked up at the stone ceiling and got an idea. She recalled Xena telling her about another of Sisyphus’s traps and how she’d gotten past it. Gabrielle took the rope from her pack and tied it securely around one of her sais. She’d been practicing throwing her sais and hoped she could get one to stick deep enough into the stone roof to hold her weight.

            After shucking her trailing robes, Gabrielle took a deep breath and flung the sai as hard as she could, trying to angle it so it would stick securely. The sai went into the stone up to the crossguard and she breathed a sigh of relief. She backed up, knowing she would have to pull herself forward to avoid swinging down through the flames. She spared a last thought for Xena, thinking they might be reunited sooner than anticipated, and swung for it. She yanked herself up the length of the rope even as its arc sent her down toward the flames. But she managed to control her momentum and swing across the fiery hallway, letting the rope slide through her hands as she coiled into a tight ball and spun through the air. She landed safely on the other side of the flames, her boots feeling a bit singed but otherwise unharmed. She’d even managed to hold onto the rope, which allowed her to retrieve her sai after a few hard yanks.

            The close shave had left her trembling, so she sat down for a drink of water and a quick bite of food before finding out what lay around the next corner. She edged up and peeked around the stone wall, ready for anything. Or almost anything; her heart skipped a beat as she saw the sinuous forms slithering back and forth across the entire width of the corridor. She stepped slowly into the narrow hallway, freezing as the cobras all turned toward her, rising up and spreading their hoods. She knew she couldn’t use her sai against the snakes without exposing herself to their deadly fangs, so she drew the chakram from her belt and cocked her arm. Gabrielle didn’t think she’d ever be able to wield the chakram with the precision Xena had, but she’d been practicing lately and had mastered a few tricks that might even have impressed the seasoned warrior. After taking a few moments to study the angles, Gabrielle let the chakram fly and watched as it caromed from wall to wall, zipping back and forth across the corridor as it sliced neatly through the cobras. Their heads flew off in all directions, leaving the headless serpents to wilt to the floor. Gabrielle grimaced as she caught the returning chakram, wiping the serpents’ blood off on her tunic before replacing the chakram on her belt. She made her way through the dead snakes cautiously, in case one or two had escaped the whirling chakram, but there was no movement amongst the slain serpents.

            Gabrielle reached the end of the passage and slowed, ducking down as she heard the sound of chanting ahead of her. She saw a stone doorway that stood ajar, flickering torchlight coming from beyond. She knew she’d finally caught up with Kamenwati and wanted to surprise him if she could. The door looked heavy, but she thought she could just slip through if she turned sideways. She realized she’d have to take her pack off to fit through, so she quietly removed it, taking one last drink from a waterskin. If she defeated Kamenwati, she could retrieve the pack, and if not ... it wouldn’t really matter. She drew her sais and turned her body, sliding between the stone door and its frame as softly as she could. As she emerged into the room, she found her caution had been unnecessary, since Kamenwati’s back was turned to the door and he was absorbed in his chanting, giving Gabrielle the chance to study her surroundings.

            The chamber was obviously dedicated to Osiris, chief of the Egyptian gods, as there were numerous statues, effigies, and wall frescoes depicting him in all his glory. But upon closer inspection, Gabrielle noticed most of the monuments to Osiris had been defaced or broken. A chill ran through her as she saw another name scrawled across the walls of the chamber ... Dahok.

            “Ah, you made it here after all,” Kamenwati said, startling Gabrielle. “I was starting to think some of my traps might have stopped you. But you’re much too resourceful for that, aren’t you? You’ll make a fine sacrifice to my new master.”

            “You ... you serve Dahok? But he’s ... he was destroyed years ago.”

            Kamenwati cackled maniacally. “Destroyed? No, Dahok is eternal. The old gods have lost their power. Their influence is almost gone. They allow foreigners and non-believers to invade our land ... but Dahok is strong, stronger than the pitiful Osiris ever was. He will make things right.”

            Gabrielle stepped forward, brandishing her sais as Kamenwati turned to face her. “Kamenwati, you don’t know what you’re doing. Dahok isn’t just some god you can call on for favours, or worship like the others. He’s pure evil and he only wants to destroy. You’ll end up being a victim too ... believe me, I know.”

            Kamenwati laughed. “What could a stripling like you know of the glory of Dahok? I first read of him in one of the sacred texts and knew my destiny was to bring him back, to lead the way for his glorious resurrection.” He stared at her, his eyes burning with the zeal of one beyond reason. “You rescued those I meant to sacrifice, but you’ll make a fine substitute.”

            Gabrielle shook her head and barked out a sardonic laugh. “Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.” She’d been debating whether or not she should kill Kamenwati, but if he was trying to bring Dahok back, she had no choice. She couldn’t allow that to happen, not after everything she’d gone through. The memory of Solan’s smile flitted through her thoughts and she tightened her grip on the sais. “Sorry, Kamenwati, but I can’t let you bring that monster back.”

            Kamenwati laughed, seemingly unconcerned by her determined countenance. “Oh, but you’re too late. I’ve already completed the summoning ritual ... Dahok is coming. Can’t you feel it?”

            Gabrielle’s heart hammered in her chest as she remembered the temple in Britannia, but she pushed those thoughts aside, determined to stop Kamenwati ... and Dahok, if need be. A whistling noise sounded through the chamber and Kamenwati fell to his knees, praising Dahok’s imminent return. Gabrielle felt a strange sensation and steeled herself to face something she’d thought long dead. But as the feeling grew, she realized it wasn’t the overwhelming sense of evil she’d been dreading. There was definitely a power, a force, in the chamber ... but it didn’t feel like Dahok. It was something she’d never felt before, but somehow her instincts told her it wasn’t an immediate threat. It wasn’t until the wall frescoes started to glow that she figured out where the power was coming from.

            Gabrielle sheathed her sais and turned toward the door, but found herself frozen, unable to move. The glow in the chamber increased and Kamenwati was practically ecstatic now, still not aware of the colossal mistake he’d made. He soon figured it out, when the eyes of the biggest Osiris statue began to glow and a voice boomed through the room.

            “Mortal, you have spoken of that which you cannot understand. You think the old gods are dead? You believe I have lost my power? See now what power I possess!” A howling wind sprang up in the chamber, making the torchlight dance wildly. “I can see into the hearts of mortals, and I see evil in your heart.”

            Kamenwati’s face now held only fear, as he realized what his blasphemy had wrought, here in a place sacred to Osiris. The voice rang out again. “You wished to see power, mortal? Your wish is granted.” The force holding Gabrielle immobile disappeared, but before she could move toward the door, she felt the floor under her feet simply ... vanish. Kamenwati’s scream echoed in her ears as she fell downwards, instinctively bracing herself for the impact of landing, though she sensed the distance she was falling was too far for anyone to survive. She thought of Xena and felt a stab of relief that she’d finally be reunited with the other half of her sundered heart.

            Her body was so tense in anticipation of the impact, it took her a few moments to realize she was standing on solid ground again. She straightened, wondering how she could’ve landed without feeling even the slightest shock. As the darkness around her began to recede, her eyes made out Kamenwati, his face etched with fear. That’d teach him to summon a demon in another god’s sacred place. As her surroundings became more clearly defined, Gabrielle drew her sais before turning to look behind her and gasping in shock at what she saw. A crescent-shaped boat made from papyrus, like those she’d seen on the Nile, floated on a the water next to a stone landing. A wooden plank extended from the landing to the boat, where a tall Egyptian man stood, gazing at her calmly.

            “Who are you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

            “I am Mbizi. I have come to deliver you to your destiny.”

            Destiny. She’d learned to dread that word after everything she’d experienced in her tumultuous life. “Where are we?”

            “Duat.”

            Behind her, Kamenwati let out a strangled cry and Gabrielle’s breath caught in her throat. Duat ... the Egyptian Land of the Dead.

            Gabrielle blinked in the light shimmering off the boat. Mbizi beckoned her forward, looking past her to Kamenwati and motioning him to advance as well. She sheathed her sais, certain that the boatman meant her no harm and not sure she could stop him even if he did. As she reached the plank leading onto the boat, she stopped and gave Mbizi a sharp glance.

            “Come,” he said impassively, “your destiny awaits.”

            Gabrielle hesitated. “Are we ... are we dead?”

            Mbizi’s expression didn’t change, nor did the inflection in his voice. “You are mortals, who have found your way to this realm. Before you return to the land above, you must be judged. I will take you to the place of judgment, but the journey is perilous. Not all survive.”

            His statement was a bit cryptic, but Gabrielle breathed easier, since it sounded as if she wasn’t dead ... at least, not yet. But what was this judgment she had to go through? Whatever it entailed, it sounded like her only way out. She took a deep breath, then stepped onto the plank and boarded the boat, which sank a bit in the water, unused to the weight of mortals.

            Kamenwati hesitated at the bottom of the plank, fear etched plainly on his face. “Is there no other way back?”

            Mbizi regarded him soberly. “Mortals do not belong in this place. You must be judged before you can return. If you choose not to be judged, you will spend eternity here.”

            Kamenwati finally clumped up the plank, edging past Gabrielle and settling against one side of the boat. Mbizi drew the plank in and the boat moved forward along the river. Gabrielle was a bit worried at first—boats usually didn’t agree with her—but the river was as calm as glass and the boat moved across the placid surface like a leaf, so she soon forgot her anxiety and examined her surroundings. The boat was small, about twenty cubits long and six wide. There was no sail or other apparent means of propulsion, just a long rudder at the back which Mbizi used to steer the boat along the river. She couldn’t tell if the boat was moving in some kind of current, or if it was being propelled by magical means. Aside from herself and Kamenwati, there was no one else aboard, but there were a number of sacks, baskets, and urns scattered about the deck, which she took to be either funerary offerings or provisions for Mbizi ... though she wasn’t sure if an otherworldly pilot like him needed sustenance. She also noticed a pair of long spears with barbed ends lashed to the gunwales, which she took to be fishing spears.

            The boat slid along the river, passing through numerous caverns and down dark passages, lit only by the lamps hanging from the prow and stern. Kamenwati hardly looked at her, and spoke not at all, which suited her fine. After they’d travelled for a while, Gabrielle noticed a reddish glow ahead and stepped forward to see what it was. Kamenwati got up and stood beside her. As they got closer, Gabrielle saw the walls of the passage they were in open up into a wide cavern, wider than any they’d been through so far. But it wasn’t the cavern that held her attention, it was the surface of the water they were gliding over. The water ended just as the cavern widened, to be replaced by a vast expanse of fire. The sound of the flames crackling grew louder and she could already feel the tremendous heat.

            “The Lake of Fire,” Mbizi’s calm voice spoke, startling her.

            As the boat entered the fiery lake, Gabrielle instinctively retreated toward the centre of the craft, trying to stay as far away from the flames as possible. Kamenwati did the same, shaking from fear and sweating profusely. Gabrielle was glad she left her robe behind in the tomb. Her Amazon-style clothing wasn’t too stifling, but knew having so much exposed skin might be a problem in the choking heat. She started to sweat and wished she’d brought something to drink. She looked at Kamenwati and saw him pull out a waterskin and tilt it to his mouth, sucking the water down greedily. He gave her a look of triumph as he emptied the skin and tossed it aside, producing another from under his robes. She eyed the waterskin and briefly considered asking him for a drink, but the look on his face told her she’d be wasting her breath.

            The heat was now so cloying she could hardly breathe and she tried to think of all the times she’d been cold: bathing in icy streams with Xena, carrying the warrior’s body up Mount Nestos in a snowstorm, and being nailed to a cross in the frigid Apennines. Damn, she really must be in trouble if those were comforting memories. She finally couldn’t stand it anymore and moved toward Kamenwati, who yelped and retreated, thinking she was after his precious water. But she was more interested in the vessels lining the sides of the boat. She opened a couple near the prow and found they contained a rather potent-smelling wine, which she ignored, assuming it would just make her thirstier. Finally, her persistence paid off; the third jug contained cool, sweet water and she scooped handfuls of it into her mouth, enjoying the relief as it trickled down her parched throat.

            No sooner was her thirst slaked than the flames died down around her and the boat slipped into another dark passage. Gabrielle wiped the sweat from her brow and took another long drink of water, splashing some over her head to cool off. She glanced back at Mbizi, wondering if he would chastise her for taking the water, but he said nothing, just gazed at the placid water and steered the boat. They made their way through more caverns, some with strange hieroglyphs on the walls. Gabrielle tried to make them out, but the boat was moving too fast for her to see properly. The boat entered a shorter passage and Gabrielle could make out the flickering orange of flames in the chamber ahead. Anticipating another lake of fire, she dragged a heavy jug of water to the middle of the boat and waited.

            But this time, the flames weren’t on the surface of the water, they came from four pillars of fire that rose from the placid lake, writhing and twisting in front of the boat. Mbizi’s voice floated up behind her. “The Fire Snakes.”

            Gabrielle bent to draw her sais, but knew they’d be little help against these fiery serpents. Mbizi steered the boat back and forth, trying to avoid the flaming snakes, but the burning reptiles leaned forward to attack. Kamenwati threw himself down, crying for mercy as Gabrielle wondered how to fight this otherworldly threat. Her hand brushed the water vessel beside her and she had a flash of insight. Yelling for Kamenwati to help, she tried to lift the huge jar, but it was too heavy. Kamenwati ignored her, so she tipped the jug over, letting half its contents spill out before hefting the remainder and tossing it right at the closest Fire Snake. Gabrielle heard a deafening hiss and wasn’t sure if it came from the serpent itself, or the steam that arose when the water struck it. The first serpent dissolved into a column of steam, so Gabrielle rushed to grab another water jug, once again tipping it over to lighten the load before throwing its remaining contents at the next Fire Snake. That one dissolved into steam too, causing the other two to retreat to the edge of the cavern, watching as the boat slid into the next passage.

            The boat passed through several more chambers and in each one, Gabrielle tensed with anxiety, wondering what challenge she’d face next. She’d just stated to relax when the boat entered the largest cavern they’d yet seen and Mbizi’s voice sounded in her ears. “The Chamber of Apep.” At Mbizi’s words, Kamenwati jumped up, a look of sheer terror on his face. Before Gabrielle could ask him what Apep was and why he was so afraid of it, she got her answer. A huge head rose up out of the water, towering ten times her own height above the boat. As the water cascaded off the massive form, she realized what is was ... a giant snake, with malevolent red eyes, green scales covered in mud, and fangs as long as her arm.

            Gabrielle looked back at Mbizi, whose calm expression hadn’t changed, and drew her sais. She wasn’t sure they’d do much good against something as big as Apep, but she wasn’t going down without a fight. The boat glided along the lake and Gabrielle’s eyes flickered to the far side, where another passage led to safety. She tensed, her whole body as taut as a bowstring, waiting for Apep to make his move. But the huge serpent merely watched as the boat steered a wide path around his body. Gabrielle wondered if they might actually get out of this encounter without fighting, but her hopes were shattered when Apep’s head shot down like lightning toward the boat. Gabrielle brought her sais up instinctively before realizing she wasn’t Apep’s target.

            The massive serpentine jaws closed around Kamenwati's waist and plucked him from the boat like Gabrielle would pluck a flower from a garden. Kamenwati screamed in terror, wriggling frantically and trying to pull free from Apep’s maw. At first, Gabrielle thought it was poetic justice; after all, it was Kamenwati's fault they were there, and he hadn’t helped her fight the other threats they’d faced. But his screams grated on her nerves and she felt a nagging guilt, as her conscience asserted itself. How could she feel bad for someone like Kamenwati? He was trying to bring a great evil into the world, an evil that had caused her and Xena no end of misery ... didn’t that make him evil? She’d been willing to kill him before, so why was she so bothered about his death now? He deserved death for all he’d done, didn’t he? She tried to think what Xena would say and remembered those heartbreaking words the warrior had spoken in Jappa: “If there’s a reason for our travels together, it’s because I had to learn from you, enough to know the final, the good, the right thing to do.”

            Gabrielle knew Kamenwati was evil, and she knew she might end up killing him later anyway, but she couldn’t just stand by and watch him be devoured by Apep. Xena had been willing to give up her life—and her chance her true happiness—to do what was right. Could Gabrielle do any less without dishonouring her memory and the love she still felt for the fallen warrior? As Apep’s head rose higher, Gabrielle sheathed her sais and sprang to the gunwale of the boat, grasping one of the fishing spears. She let out a piercing whistle, grinning as Apep turned his head toward her. She aimed carefully and threw the spear as hard as she could, sending it into Apep’s neck a bodylength below his mouth.

            Apep’s head snapped back and his jaws opened, allowing the flailing Kamenwati to fall into the water. Apep’s attention was now firmly on Gabrielle, who leapt to the other side of the boat, snatching up the second fishing spear. Apep swayed back and forth, his baleful glare never leaving her. Gabrielle waited, hoping the giant snake would hold still long enough for her to launch the spear. Apep’s hypnotic movements did finally stop and Gabrielle threw the spear with all her might, straight at his head. But the snake moved impossibly fast, pulling his head from the spear’s path and hissing at her in triumph. Apep snapped his head down toward her, opening his mouth to display his huge fangs. Gabrielle rolled forward, barely evading Apep’s jaws, and came to her feet in the prow of the boat. As Apep’s head turned toward her, she looked down at the wine vessels beside her and decided to try one of Xena’s old tricks. She scooped up a mouthful of the potent wine and grabbed the lamp from the prow of the boat. When Apep was close enough that she could smell his fetid breath, Gabrielle sprayed the wine from her mouth, right through the flame of the lamp and into Apep’s face.

            The giant serpent’s roar almost knocked her off her feet, but she noticed Apep seemed to be in pain from the flames licking over his head. Gabrielle tossed the lamp aside, drawing her sais and plunging both of them to the hilt into the serpent’s eyes, withdrawing them just in time to avoid having them torn from her hands as Apep reared his head back and roared out in agony. He immediately snapped his head back down toward her, his instincts taking over for his now-sightless eyes. Gabrielle dropped to the deck to avoid Apep’s bite, kicking upward as hard as she could with her left leg, trying to put all her weight behind it. She must’ve hit him in a soft spot because he reared back again, hissing in pain.

            Apep was now confused, his head swaying back and forth as blood dripped from his empty eye sockets. He roared in frustration and Gabrielle decided she should follow up her advantage. She pulled the chakram from her belt and whistled to get Apep’s attention. As his head whipped around to focus on the sound, Gabrielle flung the chakram, sending it spinning right across Apep’s throat just below his mouth. Apep reared back and let out a gurgling bellow that echoed through the cavern and sent a spray of blood flying through the air. His movements slowed and he pulled back, thrashing around weakly and slamming against the cavern wall before falling into the water with a splash that almost swamped the boat.

            Gabrielle waited with baited breath, her eyes glued to the spot where Apep had disappeared under the water. But not the faintest ripple marred the surface and Mbizi steered the boat toward the cavern exit. Gabrielle replaced the chakram on her belt, sheathed her sais, and sat down, suddenly exhausted from the fight. She noticed Kamenwati shivering in the back of the boat next to Mbizi. Either the cult leader had climbed back aboard himself, or Mbizi had fished him from the water. Gabrielle rose on shaking legs and stumbled back to drop down in front of him.

            “Are you all right?” she said, looking over his battered body to see what damage Apep’s fangs had done.

            Kamenwati ignored her question, staring at her with an expression of incomprehensibility. “Why did you save me? You owe me nothing, and you oppose everything I stand for. Why risk your life for me?”

            Gabrielle shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess it just felt like the right thing to do.”

            Kamenwati shook his head. “I would not have saved you.”

            Gabrielle nodded wearily. “I know. Maybe that’s why I did it. So I would know I wasn’t like you.”

            Kamenwati scowled at her, apparently not appreciating her honesty, but she didn’t much care. Before Kamenwati could make a retort, the boat slowed and edged toward a stone landing jutting into the passage. Gabrielle and Kamenwati rose and looked at the landing as the boat slid to a gentle stop beside it. They turned to look at Mbizi, who gestured to the ledge. “My journey with you is at an end. Your destiny lies ahead.”

            Gabrielle stepped out of the boat onto the smooth landing and peered into the gloom. She could just make out a tunnel through the rock and a point of light at the end of it. She strode forward, determined to face whatever lay ahead. Kamenwati followed more cautiously, his eyes darting around in trepidation. The light grew stronger as Gabrielle neared the end of the tunnel and she blinked as she emerged into a small bare chamber with a plain wooden door in the opposite wall. Movement caught her eyes and Kamenwati gasped in fear. Her hand dropped to the chakram as she saw the two snakes slither forward into the dim light. They were cobras, but much longer than the ones she’d faced in the tomb. She pulled the chakram from her belt and drew her arm back to throw, but something stopped her.

            “What are you waiting for?” Kamenwati hissed. “Use your weapon, kill them before they strike!”

            Gabrielle knew how deadly cobras were, but she’d learned from Xena to trust her instincts, and they were telling her these snakes were no threat. She slowly replaced the chakram on her belt and watched the cobras carefully, hoping she hadn’t just made a huge mistake. The serpents stared at her, rising up and spreading their hoods. Kamenwati whimpered behind her, but Gabrielle met the reptilian glares without fear, sensing intelligence in those dark eyes. When the snakes glided backward toward the door, Gabrielle moved forward a step at a time, never taking her eyes from theirs. About a bodylength in front of the door, the serpents stopped their backward movement and slithered to opposite sides, still staring at Gabrielle. She looked at each snake in turn and realized they wanted her to open the door. Of course, doing that would leave her exposed to the snakes from both sides. She glanced back over her shoulder, but Kamenwati hadn’t moved from the tunnel entrance and from the look of fear on his face, he’d be no help.

            Gabrielle took a deep breath and stepped past the snakes, trying to keep them in her peripheral vision as she neared the door. The snakes made no move, they just kept looking at her with those inscrutable eyes. But now that she was closer to them, Gabrielle was certain their eyes held a measure of intelligence and maybe something more. She reached for the door, which swung open at her first touch. A flash of light startled her and elicited a yelp from Kamenwati. When her vision cleared, the snakes were gone and in their place stood two women, one of whom she immediately recognized as Isis from the depictions she’d seen on various tomb frescoes.

            “Well done, mortal,” Isis said, a smile lighting up her beautiful face. “Only the pure of heart may see through the veils of the gods. Come, your destiny awaits.” She gestured through the door and Gabrielle stepped across the threshold into a large chamber.

            She stared around in awe, realizing she was seeing something few (if any) living beings were privileged to experience: the Hall of Two Truths. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes swept the chamber, taking in the huge balance in the centre, the crocodile-headed monster lying near the scales, and the multitude of gods arrayed around the sides of the room. The words came almost unbidden to her lips. “I know you. I know your names.”

            A cry of pain broke her reverie and she turned to see Isis and her companion (who she now guessed to be Nephthys) hauling Kamenwati through the door kicking and screaming. As soon as they crossed the threshold, the door vanished behind them to be replaced by bare rock. The goddesses let Kamenwati go and he threw himself against the wall, wailing to go back.  A booming voice echoed around the chamber. “You wished to challenge the gods, mortal! You have your heart’s desire, so why do you now run from it?” Gabrielle looked at the speaker, who she knew must be Osiris. Kamenwati refused to meet the god’s gaze and just curled into a ball, weeping piteously. An ibis-headed god, who Gabrielle recognized as Thoth, strode over and yanked Kamenwati to his feet, dragging him to stand before the balance.

            A god with the head of a jackal turned his implacable eyes on Kamenwati. “Mortal, I am Anubis, guide of souls in the afterlife. You must submit to the Negative Confession, so that your heart may be judged. If you are deemed worthy, you will be returned to the world above. If not, Ammit will devour your heart and your soul will be condemned to remain in Duat for eternity.”

            Kamenwati fell to his knees beseeching the gods to spare him, but Osiris merely laughed. “You said you did not believe in our power. You wished to supplant us with a base-born demon. Now you ask us for mercy?”

            As Kamenwati’s pleas for mercy fell to a whisper, Isis smiled at him. “We may not be as powerful as we once were, but we still have the power to judge mortals. Perhaps you should have considered that before you spoke against us.”

            Thoth made a gesture and Kamenwati was jerked to his feet, as if invisible strings were controlling him. A blue light emerged from his chest and floated onto one of the balances. Gabrielle looked closer and saw that the other balance held a feather.

            “Your heart is now on the Scales of Ma’at,” Anubis said. “You will answer the questions we put to you and if your answers prove your heart worthy, it will outweigh the Feather of Ma’at and you will be sent back to the land above.”

            The multitude of gods began firing questions at Kamenwati rapidly. At first Gabrielle thought he might refuse to answer, but he barked out his responses as if he had no choice. Whenever he tried to lie, Anubis chastised him and Kamenwati finally admitted the truth. As the interrogation went on, Gabrielle began to feel afraid ... not for Kamenwati, but for herself.

            The questions involved a litany of sins, some of which Gabrielle knew she was guilty of herself. Lying, violence, killing ... she’d done all of those at one time or another. She’d thought them justified at the time, but didn’t everyone believe their sins to be justified? If these gods were judging her purely on her actions, she might be in trouble. It wasn’t the thought of being judged that worried her, or even the thought of dying. But if her soul ended up stuck here in Duat, that meant ... that meant she would never see Xena again.

            Gabrielle had always comforted herself with the thought that she and Xena would be together again, sooner or later. She truly had given up any thoughts of accelerating her own demise, resolving to take whatever life the Fates had decreed for her, whether it be long or short. But she’d always assumed when that life ended, she’d be reunited with Xena again. The thought that she might not see her soulmate again, that they both might have to spend eternity apart, was almost more than she could bear. Kamenwati’s voice faded as tears filled her eyes and pain twisted her guts. If she couldn’t be with Xena, after everything they’d suffered, after allowing her to sacrifice herself for the Greater Good ... what was the point of it all? What was the point of anything?

            Gabrielle realized the chamber had gone silent and wiped the tears from her eyes. Kamenwati’s face was twisted with terror and she looked at the scales. The Feather had weighed down Kamenwati’s heart by a wide margin. Kamenwati pleaded for mercy, invoking each of the gods by name, but his words fell on deaf ears. “Mortal, your heart has been judged and found wanting. Your destiny awaits.” Kamenwati screamed as Ammit leapt forward and clamped its jaws down on the glowing ball of light upon the scales. As Ammit swallowed the light representing Kamenwati’s heart, the cultist’s eyes widened and his screams became louder, echoing around the chamber and right through Gabrielle’s soul. He turned to look at her, holding out a hand in entreaty, and she couldn’t help feeling a mote of compassion for him, despite everything. Kamenwati’s body began to fade, like smoke dissipating in the wind, but his screams lingered even after his physical form was gone.

            As Kamenwati’s screams faded, Gabrielle couldn’t help feeling another twinge of compassion. She knew he was an evil man, who served an evil god, but did anyone truly deserve such a fate? As Anubis’s gaze turned toward her, she felt a shiver travel down her spine. Kamenwati’s fate suddenly became the least of her worries compared with her own. In her heart,  she believed she was a good person—and Xena had certainly never doubted that about her—but if the judgment of her heart depended on denying those transgressions, she was in trouble. All she could hope for was that in judging her heart they would take her motivations into consideration, not just the bare facts of her past deeds.

            As the countenances of the Egyptian pantheon turned toward her, Gabrielle could feel their judgment like a physical force, weighing down on her. Osiris beckoned her forward and said, “Come, mortal, it is time for your heart to be judged.” Gabrielle swallowed, knowing what the judgment would probably be, but also knowing she couldn’t avoid it. She stepped forward to stand beside the balance and waited. Having seen Kamenwati’s judgment, she knew what to expect and wondered if it would hurt. As the ball of light representing her heart left her chest, there was no pain, only a curious feeling of lightness. As she watched the glowing ball float onto the empty balance, she felt a tingling run through her body that was rather pleasant, something she hadn’t felt since ... well, since Xena.

            Anubis bent his aspect to the balance, regarding Gabrielle’s heart with a solemn look. She waited for the questioning to begin, resolving to be honest no matter the consequences. But time passed and Anubis remained silent, simply staring at the glowing energy that represented her heart. Finally, he straightened and addressed the other gods. “This heart cannot be judged. It is incomplete.”

            All the gods turned to stare at Gabrielle, increasing the feeling of heaviness she’d been experiencing. Gabrielle looked at Anubis. “Incomplete? I don’t ... what do you mean incomplete?”

            Anubis regarded her with his usual sober expression. “Part of this heart is missing. It is incomplete. The heart must be complete before judgment can be rendered.”

            Missing? How could she be missing part of her—then it hit her like a thunderbolt: Xena. Xena was part of her heart and she’d been missing that since the warrior had died. She cleared her throat. “Well, I have ... had ... someone who was very close to me. We ... we were part of each other, soulmates, you know? She’s had part of my heart for a long time, just as I still have part of hers.”

            Thoth glanced toward the other gods. “The heart must be complete before judgment.”

            Isis leaned forward. “Who is this who holds part of your heart?”

            Gabrielle met the goddess’s stare without blinking. “Her name is Xena. But she’s ... she died, almost a year ago.” She couldn’t believe how much just saying those words out loud still hurt.

            A collective murmur ran through the pantheon and Osiris spoke in his booming voice. “Where is this Xena now? She must be brought here so your whole heart may be judged.”

            Gabrielle gaped at him. “She ... I guess she’s in Hades, the Greek Underworld.”

            Osiris looked at Thoth, who nodded and said, “The Realms of Death are as one. She will be summoned.”

            Gabrielle was still trying to wrap her head around that statement when a bright light appeared next to her and she felt a familiar presence. Her eyes went wide as Xena shimmered into view, her eyes sweeping about to take in the strange surroundings before settling on Gabrielle. They stared at each other for a few moments before reaching out to clasp hands.

            “Xena!” Gabrielle said, her voice breaking. “You’re here.”

            She threw herself into Xena’s arms and lost herself in the tide of emotion that threatened to drown her. Xena’s arms enfolded her and she realized just how much she’d missed her soulmate’s touch, her presence. “Gabrielle, where ... what’s going on here? Where in Hades are we?”

            Gabrielle couldn’t help laughing. “Not Hades, Xena. Duat, the Egyptian underworld. It’s kind of a long story.”

            “Tell me everything ... I’ve got time,” Xena said, glaring at the gods as if daring them to contradict her.

            Gabrielle smiled and shook her hand. Nice to know some things never changed, even in death. She gave Xena a rundown of what had happened since the last time they’d talked, ending with the circumstances that had brought Xena there. “Kamenwati was judged and now it’s my turn. But they said my heart was incomplete and I told them you had the other part of it, so they brought you here.”

            “Yes, and now that the missing part of your heart is here, the judgment can proceed.” Xena gasped as a ball of light rose from her chest and floated to the balance to join the energy already there. The two balls of energy merged into one and the balance levelled off.

            Gabrielle quickly explained the Negative Confession ritual to Xena, who gave her a triumphant smile. “Well, I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Gabrielle. You’re the least evil person I know.”

            Gabrielle looked down, unable to meet her soulmate’s eyes, and mumbled, “Don’t be so sure.”

            Before Xena could ask what that meant, Anubis began asking the questions. Gabrielle answered them all honestly, knowing deceit would only compound her sins. She could feel Xena’s anger building beside her as the scales tipped lower and lower. She squeezed the warrior’s hand to reassure her, but by the time the last question had been asked and answered, Xena was ready to explode.

            “You have answered truthfully,” Anubis said, “and your heart has been found wanting. You will be condemned—”

            Before he could finish pronouncing judgment, Xena stepped forward, shrugging off Gabrielle’s restraining hand. “No, you can’t condemn her! I don’t care how many of your questions she answered wrong, this is the sweetest, purest, noblest person I’ve ever known. If you really can see into her heart, you know I’m right. If she can’t pass your stupid tests, no one can.”

            “Xena,” Gabrielle said, not wanting her partner’s loyalty to get her in trouble with the Egyptian gods. “It’s all right, I did do all those things and there’s no point in denying it.”

            Xena turned to her and grabbed her shoulders. “Yes, maybe you did do those things, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.” She turned back toward the gods, her face twisted with emotion. “If you really want to see a bad person, look at me! I’ve done unspeakable things, hurt people, ruined more lives than I can count. I’m so much worse than her—”

            “No!” Gabrielle shouted, pulling the warrior around to face her. “Xena, that’s not true! Even when you were doing all those things, you weren’t truly evil, you were just ... you’d just lost your way. You were always good inside, I know it.”

            Xena’s eyes filled with tears. “Maybe I was, but I’d forgotten that part of myself, buried it so deep that it wasn’t really even a part of me anymore. So deep that nobody could bring it back. Lao Ma saw it, but she couldn’t reach it. Hercules made me realize it was still there, but I had no way to connect to it. I was ready to give up ... until I met you.”

            Gabrielle and Xena were both crying now, so caught up in their debate that they didn’t notice their combined hearts on the balance glowing brighter as the scale holding them tipped upward, a fact not lost on the observing gods.

            Xena’s hands rose to stroke Gabrielle’s face as she continued. “Gabrielle, before I met you whatever good was inside me was so far down nobody could get to it, not my mother, not even me. But you saw it ... you saw straight through to my heart and my soul and you pulled that goodness out of me and made me believe in it. You showed me the way back, Gabrielle. If it wasn’t for you, I couldn’t have accomplished any of the good I did. You’re my source, Gabrielle, and you always have been.”

            Gabrielle choked back a sob and for once in her life could think of nothing to say. Isis looked at Xena and asked, “Is this true? Has this mortal truly inspired all your goodness?”

            Xena nodded. “Yes. She may be right about me being good all along, but I also have a dark side and I could never balance the two halves of myself, until I met her. She didn’t banish my darkness, but she did show me how to control it, instead of letting it control me. Without her love and trust, I ... I don’t know what I would’ve become.” Xena looked at the scales and noticed they were tipping back in favour of Gabrielle’s heart, so she went on. “And whatever else she may have done, she showed me the meaning of selfless love, something I’d never had, never felt before.”

            Isis watched as the scales reached the balancing point, wavered for a moment, then tipped slightly in favour of the commingled hearts. The goddess looked at Gabrielle. “Is this true?”

            Gabrielle swallowed and nodded. “Yes, I ... “ She shook her head, overcome with emotions still raw after almost a year.

            Xena smiled and wiped the tears from Gabrielle’s cheeks. “It’s true. She cared more about my redemption than her own feelings, so she let me sacrifice myself to save the souls of thousands of people I had killed.”

            That brought Gabrielle’s voice back with a vengeance. “Accidentally killed, Xena. You didn’t mean to start that fire and you didn’t even know about until—”

             Xena placed her fingers on Gabrielle’s lips to silence her and looked at the gods. “Yeah, it was accidental, but it was still my responsibility. And she let me go, even though it was killing her inside, because she knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise.”

            All the gods were now staring at Gabrielle and their mingled hearts were tipping the balance lower. “Is this true, mortal?” Osiris asked. “Did you willingly allow part of your heart to perish to save her soul from torment?”

            Gabrielle pulled back from Xena’s arms and nodded wearily. “I’m not sure ‘willingly’ is the right word, but yes, I let Xena go because I knew making her stay would be selfish and would only hurt her.”

            Xena turned to address the pantheon. “You see what I mean? She’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met. She did that for me even though it tore her soul apart.” Xena turned back to Gabrielle and took her hand. “I’m so sorry for forcing you to make that choice. I know how much it hurt you.”

            Gabrielle squeezed Xena’s hand and shook her head. “Yeah, it did. But getting in the way of your redemption would’ve hurt me even more ...because it would’ve hurt you.”

            The gods watched as they hugged again and Anubis pointed at the balance, one side of which was now heavily weighed down by their combined hearts. “The heart has been judged and found to be pure. You will be returned to your world.” The ball of blue energy rose from the balance, separated into two, and flew back into Xena and Gabrielle’s chests, causing the two women to gasp in shock and break their embrace.

            Gabrielle darted a look at the taller woman before turning to face Anubis. “No. You can’t send me back.”

            Xena’s eyes widened and she grabbed the bard, spinning her around. “Gabrielle, are you crazy? They’re giving you your life back. Don’t argue with them, just go!”

            Gabrielle leaned forward and whispered, “Xena, do you trust me?”

            Xena hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Of course I do.”

            Gabrielle smiled and winked at the warrior. “Then let me do this my way.” She turned back to Anubis and the other gods. “You said my heart, my soul, was incomplete. If you send me back like this, I won’t be whole.”

            “You have passed judgment and cannot remain here in Duat. You must be returned.”

            The gods whispered amongst themselves for a moment and Isis spoke up. “She is correct. Her heart should be whole when she is sent back.”

            Osiris turned toward the goddess. “Two bodies, one heart. What can be done?”

            Isis gave Gabrielle a solemn gaze, just a hint of a smile on her lips. “There is only one solution.”

            A blinding white light shone through the judgment chamber and Gabrielle instinctively covered her eyes. She heard wind whistling and felt a cold breeze pass over her, ruffling her hair and chilling her. The breeze died down and she felt warmth on her back. Not the otherworldly warmth of Duat, but the wholesome warmth of the sun. She opened her eyes to find herself back in the oasis where she’d defeated Kamenwati’s men, a date palm waving over her head, and the clear pool of water rippling invitingly off to the side. The lowering sun was behind her, lighting the desert sands with a rich red hue and throwing her shadow on the sand in front of her. She blinked as she saw another shadow beside her own, a little taller, and with a vaguely familiar silhouette.

            Gabrielle’s breath caught in her throat as she wondered if her desperate gamble had worked. She longed to turn and look but was afraid she might just be dreaming and that looking behind her might wake her up. Now she knew how Orpheus must’ve felt leading Eurydice out of Hades.

            “Gabrielle?”

            The familiar voice sent a thrill of wonder and joy down her spine. Knowing she could put it off no longer, Gabrielle turned slowly, letting the sight fill her eyes and her soul until she felt like an amphora about to overflow. “Xena, is it really you?”

            “I ... I think so,” Xena said, reaching out a hand toward the bard.

            Gabrielle was afraid to touch her in case she disappeared like a desert mirage. Xena’s outline blurred and Gabrielle felt a jolt of fear until he realized it was just her own tears blurring her vision. She stretched a trembling hand out, holding her breath as her fingers came closer and closer to Xena’s.

            When their hands finally met, they let out a simultaneous gasp as warm flesh met flesh. After a moment of trepidation, they threw themselves into each other’s arms, sobbing and laughing with relief.

            “Xena, you’re back ... it worked ... I wasn’t sure if it would work, but ... you’re really here.”

            Xena wiped tears from her eyes and tried to smile. “Yeah, it worked. How did you know?”

            Gabrielle was still trying to process the fact that she had her soulmate back. “I ... I didn’t know for sure, I just ... I thought if they were determined to send me back, and if I could convince them you were part of me, then ...”

            “Then they’d have to send me back too,” Xena finished. “And it worked. Great instincts, Gabrielle.”

            “Thanks for trusting me.”

            Xena held Gabrielle’s face in her hands and gazed at her fondly. “Always.” They felt the love between them rekindle in a rush of emotion that almost overwhelmed them. Xena pulled Gabrielle into a passionate kiss, both of them savouring the moment and wishing it could last forever.

**********

            Xena and Gabrielle’s bliss at being reunited didn’t last forever, but they did sustain it well into the night. They made camp at the oasis and after a hasty meal assembled from the supplies Kamenwati had left behind, settled down to talk. But the sheer joy of being together again soon overcame the need for words and pushed them into a more intimate display of happiness. They began slowly, the novelty of being together again making them tentative, but soon abandoned themselves to their reawakened bond and allowed it to sweep them into a euphoric frenzy. That was followed by a more deliberate exploration, which led them back to the heights of ecstasy. Finally they exhausted themselves and lay tangled together, a blanket thrown over them to ward off the desert chill.

            Xena stretched languidly and glanced down at Gabrielle with a grin. “You know, they say make-up sex is the best, but I think back-from-the-dead sex has it beat.”

            Gabrielle met her gaze and reached up to stroke Xena’s hair. “Not that I’m disagreeing with you about how great that was, but I’d be happier if we never have to experience it again.”

            Xena nodded. “I know what you mean. I’m kind of tired of dying myself. But with the lives we lead, it’s always a possibility.”

            Gabrielle looked down at her hands, nervously fingering the edge of the blanket. “That’s true. Unless ...”

            “Unless what?”

            Gabrielle looked up at Xena again. “Unless we stop taking so many chances and just settle down. I don’t know if I can handle losing you again.” Her voice broke and she buried her head against Xena’s shoulder.

            Xena stroked Gabrielle’s hair and stared up at the unfamiliar stars. “I understand what you mean, and I feel the same fear about losing you.” That got Gabrielle’s attention, since Xena admitting to being afraid of something was so rare. She raised her head and looked into Xena’s eyes, waiting for the warrior to go on. “But we already tried settling down, remember, with the Amazons that time? It didn’t work ... we were both bored out of our minds.”

            Gabrielle smiled as she recalled her attempts to push Xena into settling in the Amazon village. She’d expected Xena to chafe at the sedentary routine, but she hadn’t been prepared for how much she herself would be bored to distraction by it. She did have some fond memories of that time, since it was the first time Xena had ever read her scrolls, and it had immediately preceded their first trip to Egypt. “Yeah, I guess I’m as much of a wanderer as you are. After all, I left Poteidaia to get away from the domestic life.”

            Xena cradled Gabrielle against her chest. “Yeah, we really are two of a kind, despite all our differences.”

            “But that doesn’t mean we have to keep running straight into danger all the time. We could travel without risking our lives.”

            Xena put her hand on Gabrielle’s chin and tipped her head up until their eyes met. “Could we? After I ... was gone, you could have settled down and stopped risking your life. But you kept helping people. Why?”

            Gabrielle shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know, I guess ... I knew people needed help and I knew I could give it to them. It would be selfish of me to just sit back and do nothing when I know I could be doing good.”

            Xena smiled. “See, it’s just like I told those gods in Duat. You have that unselfish part of you that won’t let you walk away from anyone in need. And I’m glad you have that, otherwise you might not have helped me when I needed you. But I think maybe I have that need too. Maybe I always had it, or maybe it’s something you taught me. Either way, I can’t sit back and watch people be hurt without doing something about it ... not anymore.”

            Gabrielle pondered that for a moment and pulled Xena’s face down for a kiss. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. We’re both just a couple of softies aren’t we?” She laughed at Xena’s mock outrage at being called a softie and kissed her again. “And for the record, I believe you were always like that, not just since you met me. I just ... helped you reconnect with that part of yourself.”

            Xena’s expression softened. “You did a lot more than that, Gabrielle. You showed me what unconditional, unselfish love was, and I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

            Gabrielle grinned. “Xena, you already have ...by giving that unselfish love to me.” They kissed again and settled back into each other’s arms. Gabrielle traced a pattern on Xena’s chest with an idle finger as she contemplated her next question. “So, does that mean you’re no longer trying to make up for your past? After what happened in Jappa, I thought you’d made peace with your past, but now that you’re back ...”

            Xena thought about that for a bit before answering. “No, I think I really have forgiven myself for everything I did in the past. After all, I gave up my soulmate, what I thought was my only chance at true love and happiness, to save the souls of all those villagers I’d killed. If that can’t cleanse my soul of guilt, what can?”

            It took a minute for Gabrielle to fully grasp Xena’s words and to assimilate the meaning behind them. She rose up in one elbow to look her soulmate in the eyes. “So, you’ve really forgiven yourself for ... everything? You no longer think of yourself as an evil person who’s trying to do good?”

            Xena sighed. “Gabrielle, I’ll always have that darkness inside me, but thanks to you I know it’s not something I need to fear. I can live with it, without letting it turn me into someone I don’t want to be. From now on, any good I do will be just for the sake of doing good, not because I’m trying to atone for my past.”

            Gabrielle’s eyes filled with tears and she hugged Xena, knowing how hard it was for the warrior to let go of all that guilt and forgive herself. She’d wanted for so long to help Xena move past those feelings, but knew it was one thing that she couldn’t give the warrior; that forgiveness had to come from within or it was meaningless. “Xena, I’m so happy for you. I think living without that burden will be so much easier for you.”

            Xena grasped Gabrielle’s head gently between her hands. “For both of us.” She pulled the bard down into a kiss, which soon turned into a deeper display of love that occupied them for another good portion of the night.

            They awoke late in the morning, when the sun was already above the eastern horizon. After a leisurely breakfast, they broke camp, salvaging what they could from Kamenwati’s supplies. They planned to head back to Beit El Wali to report on Kamenwati’s demise (without going into all the esoteric details) before heading downriver.

            “So, do you think Akemi and all those other souls will be all right now that you’re back?” Gabrielle asked Xena, as she watched the warrior load a pack with food.

            Xena nodded. “I think so. My ... sacrifice allowed their souls to be at peace, but my being brought back by the Egyptian gods shouldn’t affect that. I think they’ll be fine.”

            Gabrielle nodded. She glanced around the camp before approaching Xena slowly. The warrior knew Gabrielle had something on her mind, but waited patiently for her to bring it up. Finally, the bard pulled the chakram from her belt and held it out. “Xena, I think you should have this back.”

            Xena shook her head. “No, Gabrielle, that belongs to you now.”

            Gabrielle grasped Xena’s hand and gently placed the chakram into it with a smile. “No, it belongs to you. It always has. I was just ... holding it for you.” As Xena opened her mouth to protest again, Gabrielle went on. “Besides, you need a weapon. I have my sais, but you should have something too. And let’s face it, you’re better with this than I am.”

            Xena wanted to protest but realized Gabrielle was probably right. She grudgingly took the chakram and attached it to her belt. “Fine, I’ll take it for now. But once we get my sword back, this is yours again.”

            Gabrielle gave her a mischievous smile. “We’ll see. Maybe you won’t want to give it back.”

            Xena grunted in disagreement. “Why’d you leave my sword in Amphipolis anyway? You  could’ve sold it for a lot of money.”

            Gabrielle gave her an exasperated look. “As if I would ever sell your sword. You’d have a fit, dead or alive. Anyway, I thought it belonged in the family tomb with your ...”

            “Ashes?” Xena said, noticing the stricken look on the bard’s face. Gabrielle nodded and Xena brushed tears from her eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for taking them back to Amphipolis to rest with Lyceus. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

            Gabrielle cleared her throat and tried to smile. “It was what you wanted and I always promised I would.”

            Xena pulled her into a hug. “Well, it’ll be nice to go home for a bit, even if I didn’t have to get my sword back. Do you think Eve will be there? I really need to let her know I’m back.”

            Gabrielle nodded. “If she isn’t there, Lila and Sarah will know where to find her. After they reopened your mother’s inn, they made sure to keep in touch with Eve.”

            “Good.” Xena took a last look around the camp and noticed something lying under one of the palm trees. She strode over to pick it up and Gabrielle saw it was a staff, probably dropped by one of Kamenwati’s men. “Hmmmm,” Xena said with a twinkle in her eye. “You said I needed a weapon. Maybe I should carry a staff for a while.”

            Gabrielle recognized the mirth in Xena’s tone and played along. “A staff? Well, I guess I could give you some pointers if you like.”

            Xena raised an eyebrow at her and exploded into motion, going through a complex series of spins, parries, sweeps, and rolls, ending with a flip that brought her within reach of her soulmate. Xena flashed a quick downstroke, stopping the staff right beside Gabrielle’s left ear, just barely grazing her shoulder.

            Gabrielle didn’t flinch at the near contact, but did give Xena a tolerant smile. “Show off.” They set out on the road toward the river and Gabrielle glanced over at her companion, feeling the old bond between them strengthening. “So, does this mean you’re my sidekick now?”

            Xena gave her a look of warning that almost made her burst out laughing. “Gabrielle, I’m nobody’s sidekick.”

            Gabrielle shrugged, biting back a grin. “If the staff fits ...” Xena gave her another dark look and Gabrielle somehow managed to keep a straight face. “Maybe I should get a horse and you can walk along beside me.”

            Xena’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “Oh yeah, and maybe I could wear a skirt, and a little green top.”

            Gabrielle’s eyes roved up and down her companion’s body. “Well, blue would go better with your eyes.” She couldn’t hold back any longer and burst out laughing.

            After giving her a playful swat with the staff, Xena joined the laughter. They walked along the road toward home, bantering and laughing, enjoying each other’s company and once more feeling the bond that had held them together through so much ... good and bad, laughter and tears, friendship and love. Two bodies, one heart, one soul—together again at last.

THE END (or A NEW BEGINNING ...)

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