To Find What I Wasn’t Looking For



Disclaimer: This is an uber story and is based on the characters Xena and Gabrielle from "Xena Warrior Princess", who both belong to MCA/Universal. Everything else is all my doing.

Love/Sex warning: This story contains two women showing their love for each other in every way possible. If that for some strange reason should bother you, then I wouldn’t recommend reading this one. If this kind of thing is illegal where you live, then find a new place to live. If you’re under age, go out and play instead.

Thanks: Thanks to ForevaXena and Diamonddog for encouraging me to get this story done.

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It was pretty late by the time Abby finally walked into the pub and looked around. It was a pretty small place with black walls. There was a square formed bar in the middle with people sitting around it. Further in was a stage with a band playing, and in front of that a small space where some people did something remotely compared with dancing. Along the walls were tables with small lamps hanging over them. It looked like a pretty cheap and sleazy place but kind of cozy at the same time.

‘Dark, sad and cozy. Must be my kinda place’ she thought to herself as she sighed deeply and walked over to the bar to order a beer.

She’d been walking around the city for hours. She had been to a couple of other places but none of them was what she was looking for. This pub on the other hand actually said "Gay Bar" on the sign in the front. She had almost given up trying to find a gay place. How people were able to find these pubs and clubs in the first place was beyond her. No signs, no ads, nothing. How were people supposed to find these places when no one announced that they exist? On her way back home she had decided to give the street two blocks away a last chance. And it was there that she found this little place.

After sitting there for a while she walked on further in to see if there were any tables available near the stage. The band was mostly playing music from the 50’s and 60’s. Fast and loud enough so that you don’t fall asleep but still quiet enough that you could have conversations with people at the same table without screaming your head off.

Abby had arrived to this city three weeks ago, but still didn’t know anyone. She didn’t like going to places like this alone, but since she didn’t know anyone, she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

She sat down at a table and watched the band on the stage. All four members were all women. The drummer had short blond hair and muscled arms. The guitarist and the bas player looked almost alike. Long brown hair that was hanging down their faces, black t-shirts, black leather pants and white sneakers. The singer was real eye-candy. She had black short hair, in the back it was just long enough to cover her neck and in the front it was just short enough that it wouldn’t say behind her ear. Every time she put it back there it only took a few seconds for it to fall back down on her face again. Her black clothes and tanned skin made her sky blue eyes light up even more. She sure was a beautiful sight. Abby sat and enjoyed both the music and the beautiful sight of the singer. She had a great voice and the others could follow her tune. It wasn’t often that you were able to hear a band that could both play and sing together. Mostly, if the singer could sing, the music sounded terrible, or the other way around.

After a few more songs, the guitarist announced that they were done playing for the night but that there would be another local band to take the stage in a few minutes.

Abby emptied the last of her beer and was just about to rise and head over to the bar, when a waitress came over to her table. "Would you like another one?"

Abby sat back down and smiled "I’ll have a Coke instead if you don’t mind. I’m not much of a drinker".

As the waitress nodded and walked away, Abby smiled a little to herself. This was the closest thing to a conversation she had had for the past three weeks. It felt really great. As she sat there in her own thoughts, an all too drunk, big woman sat down beside her. Even as she was sitting, the woman had trouble staying in the chair. Abby couldn’t understand how the woman had made it all the way in here without falling down. Some mumbling sounds came from her mouth, but Abby couldn’t understand a word.

"What are you saying?"

The same phrase of mumbling sounds came again as she picked up a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Abby looked back up at the woman and politely said "No thanks, I don’t smoke" and then kept looking around.

The woman kept wiggling back and forth on the chair and mumbled something again. Abby tried to ignore the woman in hopes that she would leave. She wasn’t really surprised when she noticed that it didn’t work.

The waitress came back with the Coke and put it down on the table. Abby reached up some money to pay for it, but the waitress just shook her head "All new customers gets one free."

Abby looked up at her and smilingly thanked her.

Just as she thought that the woman at her table had passed out, she came too again and started pulling in Abby’s jacket and t-shirt. Abby tried to get loose, but the strong woman’s hands around her body kept her in place. She was just about to start shouting when she heard a "SMACK" and the drunken woman fell backwards on the floor. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around. Looking back at her were the baby blue eyes of the singer. Abby could feel her body temperature rise when she felt the warmth glowing from the blue eyes piercing right through her. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..yeah..I’m fine. Thank you so much."

Abby got to her feet and fixed her clothes, keeping her eyes at anything but the hypnotic gaze from raven haired woman. The singer put her arm around the shoulders of the smaller woman.

"Hey, why don’t you come and sit with us for a while. It’s almost two o’clock."

Abby stopped and looked with wide eyes and wonder at the singer. "What happens at two o’clock?"

The taller woman laughed as she led Abby to her table. "This place closes at three. That means that the desperate ones only have one hour left to find their ‘date’ for the night. If you sit with us, no one will bother you...That is if you’re not here to find one for yourself?" the singer added as she looked down at the blonde woman.

They sat down and Abby looked up at the dark singer. "No, I’m not. I just thought that this would be a good place to meet some new people."

The guitarist looked up at her and gave a half-laugh. "You sure are in the wrong place, if it’s friends you want."

Abby looked around at the crowd and realized that the woman was right. Most of the people here weren’t exactly the type that she would want as friends. "Yeah. I guess I am."

The singer put her hand back on Abby’s shoulder to get her to turn in her direction. "I’m Zoe, by the way."

The singer’s touch sent shivers through her whole body, and the sparkling blue eyes looking down at her made her wanna jump right in to ‘em. Abby kept observing every movement the singer did as she introduced the rest of the band members.

Jennifer, the guitarist. Jennie, the bass player and Annie, the drummer. Abby was lost in her own thoughts about the blue-eyed woman. She was how ever cut off by a waving hand in front of her face. "Hello??!! Where did you go off to?"

Abby felt a little blush on her face as she looked up at Zoe. "Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say?"

Zoe gave a laugh, showing her beautiful smile. A smile that could melt a snowball on the North Pole. "I was just wondering if you had a name or if you wanted to be called ‘you’ for the rest of the night."

Abby gave a little nervous smile as she answered. "I’m Abby."

She looked down at the table again, afraid that the expression on her face would reveal her heart. ‘How can I be feeling this way?! I just met the woman!!’

She listened as the band members were telling her about how they all met and about all the places they had played at. About how fun they had all had as they sometimes traveled across the country, playing at everything from small pubs to bigger clubs.

"And how did you end up here?" Jennifer asked as she took a sip from her beer.

Abby considered making up a good lie, but at the last minute decided that it was better to tell the truth. After all that was the one reason she had left home in the first place. She didn’t want to lie or pretend anymore. She had promised herself to keep to the truth no matter what. She just hadn’t realized how hard it actually was. "Well, I’m from a small town, apparently a little too small." She started and looked at the women and saw that they totally clueless to what she was talking about. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I guess that you already figured out that I’ kind isn’t exactly welcome everywhere. I guess that you could say that I was kind of banished from my home town."

No matter how hard she tried, she still had trouble referring to herself as gay. She had worked so hard for so long to keep that part of her hidden, that she had actually started to believe that she wasn’t normal. Now that she was ‘allowed’ to look at women, it felt a little different, but different in a good way. She felt freer somehow. And even more so when she knew there was actually a chance of other women looking at her. She wasn’t there to try and find the love of her life or anything. She just wanted to prove to herself that there were others just like her and that is was okay. It had taken her years just to tell her family about her little secret and even though she had been prepared for them to object, she hadn’t thought that they would throw her out and that the whole town would freeze her out.

Zoe put her hand on Abby’s shoulder again. "I’m so sorry Abby."

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds until Annie broke it and raised her glass. "Well to hell with them if they can’t handle it. Now you do have some gay friends, and you can start to live your own normal life."

They all smiled and raised their glasses. Abby felt such relief that she had actually told the truth for a second time in her life. And she was so glad that it had turned out better then the first time.

Zoe gave her a reassuring half hug before she looked at her and said. "Hey, you wanna join us to a club that’s open a little longer? This place is about to close."

"Sure, I’d love to."

The club was a big place, filled with people. It had a big dance floor and on the stage was a DJ, handling the music. There was a black jack table, one big and one small bar and lots of small, round tables to sit by.

The band members seemed to know a lot of the people, by all the ‘hellos’ and hugs. Abby was introduced to many of them but couldn’t remember all the names or even half of the faces for that matter. When they finally made it too a table and sat down, Jennifer rushed to the bar and came back with some beers and a Coke for their little blond friend. Abby was starting to relax, but the tingling feeling in her stomach didn’t stop and it got worse every time she felt the blue eyes, piercing through her skin. After a while of conversation about nothing and everything, Zoe got to her feet and looked down at Abby. "You want to dance?"

Abby was about to fall off the chair. She was sure that the pounding of her heart could be seen through her shirt. She tried to calm herself down and answered as nonchalant as she could. "Sure."

When they got to the dance floor, a new song just began. It was a slow song and Abby was positive that Zoe would want to go back to the table and wait for some new music. But instead Zoe drew her close and put her hands around her small waist. Abby could feel her heart start beating faster and harder. As if it wasn’t pounding hard enough even before they got to the dance floor. She moved her hands up around the taller woman’s neck. ‘Gods, it feels so good to hold her.’ She could feel Zoe’s breath on her neck and the arms holding around her waist.

Abby closed her eyes and just enjoyed the sensation, knowing that it wouldn’t last forever. Her beating heart and the tingling in her stomach took her to a place where the hands were touching her for real. The hands were moving up and down her back, moving slowly to the front to touch her breasts. The soft lips were kissing her neck, moving up a little to nib at her earlobe, slowly letting the lips move across her cheek until they found hers, kissing softly at first and the a little harder, one hand moving to the back again and the other behind her neck, burying it in her blonde hair, pressing her even closer.

The hand on her back moved down and on its way up again it pulled the t-shirt with it. The hands on her naked body felt amazing. Then one hand went to the front and gently teased her nipples through the bra. And then the hands left her body. Abby opened her eyes and realized that the song was over and her five minutes of paradise was over. Zoe put her hand on the smaller woman’s back and led her back to the table.

When they had sat back down again, Abby kept her hands and eyes at the Coke bottle at the table. The others were still dancing on the dance floor. "Hold the chairs and the table will you. I just need to visit the ladies room. Be right back."

As she saw the taller woman leave, she tried to get her heart under control again, taking deep breaths, and clear her mind from the pictures of the woman in her head. ‘Get a grip, damn it!!’ She looked around at the crowd. Every one seemed to have a great time dancing, talking and laughing. If only she had left home sooner. After all, this was what life was all about. Living your own life and having as much fun as you possibly could.

It didn’t take long for Zoe to get back to the table again.

"You okay? You look a little...distant." She asked as she sat down.

"Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just a little hot in here. "she lied.

Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. It felt as her blood was boiling in her body, but that had nothing to do with the heat inside of the club. She glanced up at the blue-eyed beauty to see if there was any possibility that she was feeling the same thing. ‘Ha, get real Abby! A woman like her can’t possibly be single! Why am I even considering this?!’ She was cut off in her thoughts by a voice beside her.

"You look like you’re a thousand miles away. What are you thinking about?"

‘Come on Abby’ she thought ‘you’re good at quick little white lies, make one up, and you better do it fast’. She moved some of her hair behind her ear.

"Nothing really. I’m just enjoying the fact that I’m not the only gay woman in the world."

Zoe chuckled and ruffled her blond hair. "You sure aren’t."

It felt so good to be around the singer. She was so ‘natural’ somehow. As if nothing could surprise her or make her feel different or weird. Like she really knew what she wanted out of life. It was as if Zoe could see how nervous she was and knew exactly what to say and do to ease the tension. "You think you could give me one more dance when the others get back?"

Abby took a deep breath and tried not to show the joy in her voice when she answered. "Sure, that would be nice."

Abby felt like a 12-year old kid with a crush on her gym teacher. Just to feel the singer beside her made her heart beat faster and harder and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

When Jennifer and Jennie got back, Zoe got to her feet and took the blonde woman’s hand and turned to the band members. "Now it’s your turn to baby sit the table while we enjoy the music."

Zoe led her to the DJ and whispered something to him before they went to stand by the dance floor. The song that was on was almost over.

"Our tunes will come on after this one." Zoe said, still holding Abby’s hand.

A new slow song began and Zoe raised an eyebrow and gave a crooked grin as she looked at the blonde woman beside her. Abby smiled and led the taller woman to the middle of the dance floor. She guided the hands around her waist and put her own around Zoe’s neck. The strong tingling feeling started to spread in Abby’s stomach again, but somehow it felt less frightening this time, it felt more exciting then scary. It felt so good to be in the taller woman’s arms again and without thinking she buried her hands in the dark hair. When she realized what she had done, she quickly removed them, mentally cursing herself for not thinking. ‘What am I doing! Here this woman is trying to be nice and show you a good time, and the first thing you do is throw yourself at her. Just behave will you!’ She felt the taller woman’s breath and lips to her ear and her voice saying, "It’s okay."

Abby silently wondered if that was ‘It’s okay’ as in ‘It’s okay to do it’ or if it was ‘It’s okay’ as in ‘I forgive you for doing it’. ‘Well I guess that there is only one way to find out’. Her hand slowly moved back in to the hair as she took a deep breath and held it. She let it out in relief as she felt Zoe squeeze her tighter and two thumbs gently stroking her back. Abby had no idea why, but for some reason she gave a light kiss on the dark haired woman’s neck. It was as if someone else was controlling her body and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Like she was looking at herself in slow motion. Zoe brought her head up a little so she could look in to the blonde woman’s eyes and then slowly lowered it towards her face, giving her the chance to pull back.

She didn’t.

Abby could feel the oh so soft lips on her own. Then their hands started moving over each other’s bodies and she heard the taller woman’s husky voice. "You wanna get out of here?"

As they got in to Zoe’s small one bedroom apartment, the singer kicked the door shut behind her as she was kissing her blond friend and letting her hands explore every part of the smaller woman’s body. She then turned her focus to Abby’s neck.

"Oh goddess" Abby gasped at the taller woman’s touching and kissing. She felt herself being led further in to the apartment and her clothes started to fall off her body. When they fell down on the bed they were both naked without really knowing how it happened. Zoe’s lips moved to the blond woman’s earlobe, one hand was buried in the blonde hair and the other one was touching every bit of flesh it could find. Abby kissed the taller woman’s neck and Zoe encouraged her further with a moan. Abby felt a little more self-conscious when she could hear and feel the other woman enjoying her touching. She moved her hand down to massage the firm ass cheeks, feeling the smooth skin. The singer began to massage the blonde woman’s breasts and Abby arched in to the touching hand. Abby moved her legs between her lover’s, forcing Zoe to straddle her hips.

The singer slowly began moving against the smaller body under her. Abby let her hands move up and down the dark woman’s sides, letting her fingers lightly travel across her breasts and stomach, down her thighs and then up again. Every thing felt like they had been together for years. It was as if the singer had read a manual to know exactly what she wanted her to do. And for Abby it was as if she had an inner voice telling her what would make the raven-haired woman loose her control. Zoe held herself up on her arms on each side of Abby’s head, letting her hair hang down. When Abby could feel the taller woman moving faster against her, she moved her hand up under the taller woman’s chin, bringing her head up a little.

"Please....I want to see you."

The taller woman smiled and gave her a kiss. As she brought her head up again, she kept it visual to the smaller woman, even though her eyes occasionally closed. Abby could feel herself get closer, and over the edge, by watching what her touching did to the darker woman. The sky blue eyes changed to deep blue. Her mouth opened and then the look of pure pleasure on her face as the orgasm washed over her. She fell down on the blonde woman and Abby held the trembling body close, gently moving her hand up and down her back. She had never known that you could feel so much pleasure just from knowing and seeing that someone else loved everything you did to her. To know that you were the one that caused the pleasure that she felt. Nothing could ever come up to the feeling that she was feeling now.

After a few moments, Zoe lifted her head up and looked at Abby. "You sure know how to please a woman. That was incredible."

Abby could feel herself blush and Zoe brought her hand up to caress her face and smiled.

"Don’t be shy, Abby."

Zoe moved to lie on her side. Her hands gently caressing the blonde woman’s beautiful body, letting her fingers tease the nipples and then letting them move downwards.

"And now it’s my turn to watch you...and to touch all of you. Make you feel as good as you did me."

Abby couldn’t help but to close her eyes as she felt the hands explore her body, inch by inch. When they reached down between her thighs, she spread her legs a little wider. She could feel a tongue circling her harden nipple, moving up and make a trail of kisses to her neck and earlobe. Abby’s breath got deeper with every touch.

She let her mouth fall open to help her breath and her hand buried them selves in the raven black hair and pulled the head up so she could feel the lips on her own. One hand guided its way down from the hair and rested on the thrusting forearm, encouraging it to move faster and she moaned in to Zoe’s mouth as the hand picked up the speed. It felt like she couldn’t get enough of the singer’s touches. The singer slowly moved to lie on top of Abby as she started to kiss her way down.

Abby began to moan louder the further down Zoe went and she lost all ability to think as she felt the tongue start to explore between her legs. The smaller hands took a steady hold of the dark head and pressed it further in as her moaning became loader and her breathing faster. Her body stiffened and her legs locked themselves around the taller woman’s head as she reached her orgasm, screaming her lover’s name. As she began to relax again, Zoe moved up and took the smaller woman in her arms, gently stroking her hair and shoulders.

"That...was....amazing" she managed to get out between her breathing and brought her head up to look at the singer. In return she got a kiss on the forehead, then one on her cheek and then one on her lips.

"Glad I could return the favor."

They rolled over and Abby laid her head down on the taller woman’s chest and Zoe pulled the covers over their bodies.

After a few moments Abby broke the silence. "You still awake?" she whispered.

"Barely. Why?"

"Nothing really...I just...well...I like you...this...and..."

Abby nervously started making circles with her fingers on the chest under her. Zoe hugged the woman tightly and smiled. "Yeah, I like it too..." she brought the smaller woman’s face up to meet those green orbs. "...and you."

Abby gave a smile of relief and gave Zoe a kiss before she laid her head back down again. After a few minutes they were both asleep.



When morning came and Abby opened her sleepy green eyes, she found herself alone in a bed, not remembering exactly where she was. When she looked around and saw three guitars hanging on the wall, it hit her that last night wasn’t a dream. She quietly sat up and listened to hear if there was anyone else in the apartment. Everything was quiet except for her rumbling stomach. She wondered if she should just leave or if she should wait for the singer to get back from where ever she was. Then she decided that the decision would have to wait ‘til she got back from the bathroom.

After her visit to the bathroom, she went back to the bed and looked around for her clothes, but they were nowhere to be found. As she was sitting there, scratching her head and trying to figure out where the heck her clothes had gone, she heard a key in the lock and the door opened. She moved up a little on the bed as she waited to see who it was. Two very familiar sky blue eyes looked back at her from behind the door.

"Oh, I’m sorry Abby. I thought I would make it back before you woke up. I just had to go and get some breakfast."

Abby smiled at the beautiful woman but she remained quiet, not knowing really what to say or do. Zoe put the bag down on the couch and walked over to her friend on the bed and sat down beside her.

"Uhm....where are my clothes?" Abby asked while still keeping her eyes focused on her hands. Zoe walked over to the chair by the bookcase and brought back the clothes to the blonde woman and sat down on the bed again.

"You’re not very used to this waking-up-at-someone-else’s-apartment stuff?"

Abby looked up at the smiling woman and then turned her head down again before she answered. "No, not really."

Zoe turned herself towards Abby. "Neither am I.........Well, as I see it, you have two choices. You can get dressed and leave.." she moved the backside of her fingers over Abby’s cheek before she continued "..or you could stay and join me for breakfast." She looked at the clock on the wall. "Well, something between lunch and dinner."

Abby watched Zoe and tried to figure out what Zoe wanted her to do. It was as if Zoe had read her mind when she spoke again. "I’d like you to stay."

Abby let out the breath she hadn’t even noticed that she had held. "Well, I am pretty hungry. Some food would be great."

The taller woman showed her beautiful smile again. "I kinda figured that. Your tummy’s been screaming all morning."

Then she got up from the bed and walked in to the kitchen, grabbing the bag from the couch on her way.

Abby let the cover fall from her body and got dressed, smiling to herself as she thought of the night they had shared. She then walked slowly in to the kitchen and sat down at the table where Zoe was sitting with everything ready at the table. "Just dig in."

The blonde woman nodded and started eating.

"So, you have your own place here or do you stay at a motel?"

Abby could feel the blue eyes on her, but she didn’t dare to look up and meet them. "I have a small apartment on the south side. It’s not a fancy place but it’ll do for the time being."

"Don’t tell me you rent a place owned by a cranky old lady and her little black poodle." Zoe said as the sandwich stopped on its way to her mouth.

"Yes. You know the place?"

"I stayed there for a while. The woman is totally nuts! When something broke she told me that it wasn’t her responsibility to fix it. ‘If you want running water, then you fix it yourself’. That old lady got more money then she will be able to spend during her lifetime and still she can’t fix stuff that breaks in the house where she rents out apartments. Still she expected everyone to pay full rent. She’s the greediest person in the world! If I were you I would try to find somewhere else to live before something breaks for you too."

Abby knew what the singer was talking about. She had heard the neighbor and the old lady arguing about a leak in the bathroom. That was when she had just moved in and it still poured in water in the neighbor’s bathroom when it rained. Abby had a little hole in one of the windows but the old lady had just told her that repairs weren’t covered in the rent. But Abby desperately needed a cheap place to stay and there for didn’t argue anymore about it. It was a little cold at night but she just took an extra blanket over her.

"Well I’ll survive a little longer. I’m going to find a better place when I get hold of a job."

They exchanged horror stories about the old lady and her place. Zoe said that she could check and see if they had any jobs at the music studio where she worked. Well, a job that didn’t contain any music skills since Abby didn’t know anything about working in a studio.

When they walked to sit on the couch, Abby decided to ask. "Are you playing at the club tonight?"

"No. Jennifer and the others are coming over later and we’re gonna watch some videos."

They sat down and Zoe turned on the TV. "MTV ok with you?"

Abby just nodded and kept her eyes on the TV. She was wondering if she should ask if last night was just ‘in the heat of the moment’ or if it meant as much to Zoe as it did to her. Somehow this woman had made her feel like she had found her place in life. There was nowhere she’d rather be then with the singer beside her. She felt so....she didn’t quite know how to describe she was where she’d always wanted to be.

The dark woman leaned forward and gave a half laugh. "Are you the only one allowed in to your world or could someone get an invitation?"

"I’m sorry.... I was just thinking."


"About last night? No I have no regrets about that. You?"

Abby tried to sound as if it was an everyday conversation. Zoe put her arm around the smaller body.

"You think I would ask you to stay if I did?"

Abby felt as if a ton's weight was lifted from her shoulders and slowly leaned in to the touch. The taller woman smiled and gave a kiss on the blonde head.

"Come here."

She leaned against the corner of the couch and pulled Abby to lean her back against her chest, and then put her arms around the smaller woman. Abby let her hands and arms rest on the thighs on each side of her body. It felt so good to finally be in the arms of a woman. It had never felt like this before. It felt so right.


"Hey Abby. Wake up."

Abby opened her eyes and saw that she was still in the taller woman’s arms. "Jennie and the others will be here in an hour. I have to go and buy some chips and snacks for the movie."

Abby sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I must have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, you’ve slept for almost two hours." Zoe got up and put on her jacket and shoes. "You’re staying for the movie right?"

Abby got up and walked towards the singer. "Sure, if you want."

Zoe walked over to her friend and looked down at her. "I do."

She then gave a kiss in the blonde head. "I’ll be back in a few minutes."

Abby looked around the apartment and then walked over to the piles of CD’s on the floor. ‘Great taste in music.’ She thought as she picked up a CD with Celine Dion and turned to the stereo. She looked at it with raised eyebrows. ‘Looks complicated. Let’s see....eject, eject....there should be an eject button here somewhere. Ah, there it is.’

She put in the CD. ‘Hmm...there should be a play button here as well...somewhere.’ She bent down on her knees and looked in wonder at the big stereo. ‘Lots of buttons...which one to choose...?’

She finally found it and Celine’s voice came out from the speakers.

Abby moved to the couch again and looked at the magazines on the table while humming to the music. ‘Guitar Magazine, Music Magazine, The Music Catalogue.... Guess music is a big part of your life my friend.’ The only thing Abby knew about music was that you put a CD in the stereo and out came the tunes that you just put in. She started reading about a guitar that was supposed to be so great that it was worth the $1200 that it costs to buy. ‘Why in the world would you want to buy a guitar for $1200 when you can get one that looks exactly the same and has almost all the other figures in the ad the same as one for $100?’ After reading for a while she came to the conclusion that the more two-letter words and fewer figures there were in the ad, the more it costs. She looked up at the wall where Zoe had her guitars and tried to see what kind of guitars they were. She only found one that could be the same as in one of the magazines. If that truly was the same model, she didn’t even want to look at the guitar for fear that it would break. The price tag was not something you could just take from a regular paycheck.

Zoe walked in again with snacks and Coca-Cola in her hands. "Great, I hear you got some music going."

Abby followed after Zoe in to the kitchen as she answered with a smile "Yeah, but it took me forever to get it started. By the way, you think I could use your shower?"

"Sure. Come. I’ll show you where the towels are. You can take a clean t-shirt from my closet if you want."

After the shower, when she had dried herself off, she could hear through the bathroom door as Zoe was playing her guitar and singing quietly. Abby put on her jeans and the big t-shirt she had picked out from the singer’s closet. She stood there for a few moments longer and listened to her friend’s singing and playing. When she opened the door, Zoe stopped playing and put the guitar down on the chair beside the stereo.

"No don’t stop. Keep playing. You’re really good with that guitar."

Zoe looked up at her and smiled that beautiful smile that only she could make.

"Well, the song isn’t finished yet. Anyway, the others will get here any minute so I thought I take a shower as well. Maybe some other day, okay?"

As she walked past Abby she added with a laugh, " Besides, if you stick around long enough, you’ll be begging me to hide that damn guitar. Don’t want to let you get tired of me after only 24 hours."

Abby nodded and watched as her friend disappeared in to the bathroom. She sat down on the couch again and began reading one of the music magazines on the table. On the cover was a Gibson Original guitar, well at least it said so. It had a lot of two-letter words in the text but it also had a lot of numbers. ‘Wonder if that is good or bad for $859?’

A loud knock was heard on the door and in came the other members of the band. They looked slightly surprised to see Abby sitting there but none of them said anything about it. They sat down on the couch beside her and Jennifer gave her a tape. "What do you think of this one?"

Abby looked down at the tape. "Legends Of The Fall" with Brad Pitt and Julia Ormond.

"I saw it a couple of years ago, but it’s really good" Annie said as she hung up the guitar on the wall and turned the armchair to face the TV and then sat down in it.

"You know if ‘miss-lazy-butt’ bought any snacks?"

Abby looked up at Jennifer and nodded "Yes, they’re in the kitchen."

When Zoe came out from the bathroom, she climbed over the back of the couch and came to sit behind Abby in the corner.

"I’m ready, put it in."

Abby was slightly surprised that Zoe held her in front of her friends. Not that she minded. It actually felt pretty good to be held in front of people and knowing that it was okay. She leaned back in to the embrace and Zoe tightened the grip a little.

They laughed and cried to the film. Well, the only ones crying were Abby and Jennie. Zoe just smiled and squeezed her tighter and Abby tried to dry her eyes.

When the film was over, they all sat and talked for a while. It was like they had all know each other forever. It was like it had always been this way. Even though Abby had only known Zoe since yesterday, it felt like an eternity. The life she’d had before felt like it was so long ago. They decided that it was time to get some food and Jennifer volunteered to do the cooking. She went in to the kitchen and looked around to see what they could put together.

"You still don’t do any shopping, do you? How am I supposed to make something when you never have anything to make it from?" she shouted from the kitchen.

Zoe looked towards the kitchen and laughed "Well how was I supposed to know that we were gonna cook? Go down to the store and buy something. There are some money in my wallet on the table in there."

"I’ll follow and keep you company." Annie said as she got up from the chair.

Jennie stood up "Well I got to get home. I have some papers I have to fill out before I go to work tomorrow. See you all later."

When they had all gone, Zoe was still holding Abby and Abby wondered if she should ask of wait for Zoe to bring the subject up about whether she should spend another night or go home.

"What are you thinking about?" Zoe asked and looked down at her blonde friend.


"I know that there is something bothering you. I haven’t known you for long but that’s one thing I can tell about you. You get the same way I do when I’m thinking of something."

Abby smiled but kept her eyes focused at the magazine with the Gibson guitar and took a deep breath. "I was just kinda wondering if you wanted me to stay another night or if you wanted to be alone."

The phrase came rather fast, as if she was afraid that if she spoke slowly, she would have the time to think and change her mind about asking.

Abby didn’t exactly know why she was so nervous to ask. Well, except for the fact that she was scared to death that the woman would ask her to leave and that she would never see her again. Everything had been so natural and ...normal. She just didn’t want to take anything for granted and overstay her welcome. She wanted so badly for the singer so tell her she could stay. She unknowingly held her breath as she waited for the reply.

"You can stay as long as you’d like."

Abby’s over analyzing brain started to spin again. The voice was not as loving as it had been before, or at least Abby didn’t think it was. It was more like a matter-of-fact kind of voice. Maybe it was only her imagination playing a trick on her. Or was it?

It was as if Zoe could read her mind again as she leaned in and gave her a kiss on the blonde head.  "I’d like you to stay. I know that maybe I’m not so good at this ‘talk feeling stuff’. I don’t usually pick up women at a club and then bring them home. But I’d like it if you’d stay another night. Not just to roll around in bed, but to get to know you a little better."

The voice was now the same way as it had been when she got up this morning. All the insecurity just disappeared from the little blonde head.

"I’d like that too. Even though we just met yesterday, it feels like I’ve known you for more then that. And besides, I don’t feel like I’m in any hurry to sleep in that drafty apartment."

They both laughed a little and just held each other, quietly enjoying the closeness.

Jennifer came in through the door and laughed, "Cuddling time is over girls, here comes some food!"

Zoe sat up a little but still held her hands on the smaller woman’s body.  "What did you get for us?"

Annie put her hand down in the bag and lifted up a red box. "Tacos!!"

They all walked in to the kitchen to help with the food. Jennifer and Annie stood by the stove and Abby helped Zoe with the salad and other vegetables. They set the table and then Zoe went in to the TV room and put on some music.

At the dinner table Jennifer and Annie were more then willing to tell all the ‘nasty’ details about their beloved singer. And Zoe gave back by telling about the behavior of her band members. They all had a very good time and probably most of all Abby. She couldn’t remember when she last had this much fun.

When they finally had eaten it was pretty late and Jennifer and Annie had to leave.

Abby sat down on the couch beside Zoe. "You guys are really tight, aren’t you?"

"Yes. I’ve known them for a very long time. They are the best friends that a person could have. Too bad that Jennie had to leave, she can be really funny to have around. She’s totally nuts, well in a good way that is."

She turned to Abby and by the look on her, it wasn’t hard to figure out that she had never had that kind of a bond with any friends. Not that there were many friends that could ever come up to the level of friendship and closeness that these four band members had. The tears weren’t far away in the smaller woman’s eyes and Zoe put her arm around Abby and whispered. "You don’t have to feel alone anymore."

That only made the tears pour down Abby’s face and Zoe drew her in close. The tanned hands caressed the blond woman’s cheeks and then moved over the golden hair. She whispered comforting words ‘til Abby calmed down.

"I’m sorry. I don’t know why I always get this sentimental. I hate crying."

"Abby, there is no reason for you to apologize. Crying is good for the soul. If you don’t let your feelings out, you’re going to burst up inside. I would love to be able to do that."

She gave the blonde head a kiss before she continued "It’s late. Why don’t we get ready for bed."

Abby nodded and they both got up from the couch.

Zoe laid down on her back on the bed and Abby laid down comfortably half way on top of her as they drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Abby woke up and found herself alone in the bed again. She tuned over and looked at the clock. 5.18am. ‘What is she doing out of bed at this hour?’ She looked around but she couldn’t see Zoe anywhere. She pulled the cover around her small body and looked around in the apartment. No Zoe anywhere. When she was on her way back to bed, she saw someone sitting on the balcony. She opened the door and saw her newfound friend sitting there all alone.

"What are you doing out here? It’s just after 5am." She asked as the blue eyes met her own green ones.

"I couldn’t sleep. I’m just sitting here, thinking."

Abby sat down beside her on the small bench and looked concerned at Zoe’s beautiful face. "What are you thinking about?"

Zoe turned her gaze back up at the sky where you could see all the stars so clearly. "Just thinking about I don’t know how to explain it but......It feels like I’ve found what I was looking for, and I didn’t even know that I was looking for it. It maybe sounds silly or strange to you, I just don’t know what to make of it."

To Abby, the words sounded like something she would have said herself if someone had asked her how to describe the bond she had felt for Zoe from the first time they had met. She had no idea that Zoe was feeling the same thing.

"It doesn’t sound strange to me. I’m feeling the same way. At first I thought that it was just because I finally met friends that are like me. And that my feelings were somehow reacting to that.....but it’s more then that. I don’t know how to explain it either....but I know that I don’t want to loose it.

Zoe turned her face towards Abby and showed that gorgeous smile of hers as she put her arm around the smaller body. Then she leaned her head down and gave a kiss on the waiting lips. Abby’s whole body trembled at the contact and the tingling feeling got stronger again. It was just as Zoe had said, like she had found what she was looking for without knowing that she had been looking for it. It was like all the pieces to the puzzle fell in to place and you could now see the image of what it was. This was where she wanted to be for the rest of her life.

Zoe pulled her head back up a little, moving her nose and lips over Abby’s cheek and cute nose and whispered

"I don’t want to loose it either. Why don’t we get back to bed again? I think I need to explore a little more of you. And there isn’t much room out here to do that."

Abby smiled back at her and nodded but never broke the contact. All the singer had to do was look at her and Abby was totally lost. Like Zoe was the drug that she couldn’t live without.

Abby took Zoe’s hand and led her back to the bed. She pulled the taller woman close and moved her hands over the perfect form of the tanned body as the kiss deepened.

When morning came, Abby saw her lover curled up against her body. She smiled and kissed the dark hair under her chin and hugged her closer. Zoe slowly moved her head up to look in to the green eyes that were looking down at her.

"Morning" said Abby and saw the smile developing on her lover’s face.

"Morning to you too. I’ve slept like a rock."

Zoe moved up and kissed Abby before she tried to get up from the bed, only to have Abby pull her back again. "Where do you think you’re going?"


"Oh, well I can’t keep you from that, now can I?" Abby said with a laugh.

Zoe leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "No, I think that would be a big mistake."

Zoe got up and walked in to the bathroom while Abby laid her head down on the pillow again. ‘I could really get used to this. Waking up with a beautiful woman and have great sex during the night’ she smiled to herself as she thought back on the amazing night they had shared.

Her thoughts were cut off when she noticed that Zoe was standing by the bed. "Hey, sleepy head. Are you coming up or what?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute to wake up."

When Abby finally got up, Zoe was in the kitchen making breakfast.

"I thought we take a drive around the city today, if that is ok with you." Said Zoe as she brought the sandwiches to the table and then move to the fridge to get some juice.

"I didn’t know you had a car." Abby said with wonder in her voice. "Better then that. I have a bike."

She could see the eyes get wide and light up the blonde woman’s face. "A bike?! I love bikes. Well I don’t know anything about them but I sure love riding them."

"Then that is settled. After a shower, we’ll go for a ride."

They drove around the city for a while. Zoe showed her friend where the theater, the museum and where her favorite gay clubs were. They stopped at a park and Zoe picked up a blanket from one of the bags on the bike. They walked over to a big, old tree and laid it the blanket out on the grass.

"This city sure is beautiful" Abby said after a long time of silence and took Zoe’s larger hand in her own.

"Yeah, I love it here. I wouldn’t move for anything in the world." She turned her gaze towards her smaller companion and gave her a smile.

Abby started to wonder how it was that nobody seemed to care that there were two women sitting in public, holding hands and not trying to hide the fact that they were more then just friends. If she would have done this back home...... she didn’t even want to think of how they would have reacted.

"Are you off to your secret place again?"

Abby looked up and smiled. "No. I was just admiring this city. It’s so unreal to me that you can actually do this here." She held up their entwined hands to show what she was talking about.

Zoe smiled even wider and moved to sit in front of Abby. "That is not all that can be done here" she moved her head down and kissed the blonde woman on the lips. Abby looked a little startled but enjoyed it just the same. Zoe moved her head back again and continued, "I guess I’ve never even thought about not being accepted. For me it’s always been natural that there are people who are ‘different’, if you want to use a word for it. Not just gay people, but all people. There is always going to be someone who is different in some way. There are people with different religions, different color, and different taste in everything. I don’t see how being gay should be such an issue. Aren’t there more dangerous people to keep track off, like child molesters and murderers and rapists?"

Abby looked at the woman before her and smiled. All that she had said made so much sense but still she couldn’t believe that someone had actually said it. Zoe’s blue eyes looked so honest when she had spoken. That was one of the things that she loved most about Zoe. Her honesty. She always stood up for what she believed in and what she thought about things. There was no way you could misunderstand what it was that she meant or what she thought about things. Abby wished that she could some day be that open about everything and not try to hide it from the rest of the world. Even though she had made a pretty good start with not hiding the fact that she was gay, she knew that there might be times when she would have second thoughts about keeping to the truth.

Abby’s eyes wondered over the raven haired woman’s face, admiring the natural beauty and her hand traced the outline of her cheeks. "You’re right. I just wish that more people could see it the way you do".

The smaller woman let her eyes glance over the crowd of people in the park and then took a deep breath and leaned in for another kiss. Zoe smiled at her and leaned in as well. When they broke the kiss, Zoe cupped Abby’s face and showed her gorgeous smile. "You don’t have to be afraid to kiss me in public. No one will harm you in any way while I’m around".

Zoe moved to lean her back against the large tree and pulled Abby with her so that she could lean the smaller body against her chest. The singer wrapped her arms around her lover. One arm around her waist and the other over her chest and softly caressed the blonde woman’s upper arm. Abby gave a ‘hmmmm’ as she breathed out to show that she was enjoying the closeness, and let her body relax against the strong embrace that was holding her.

After a long time of silence, Zoe gave the blonde head a kiss and gave her a tight hug. "It’s getting a bit cold now what the wind is picking up again. You want to go home?"

Abby picked up the hand, holding around her waist and caressed the back of it against her cheek before she answered.

"Yeah, it’s getting a bit chilly. But if I’m going to stay at your place tonight, I need to get some stuff from my place first".

"No problem. We can drive by there first".

They got up and walked over to where the bike was.

They stopped outside the house where Abby rented her apartment. Zoe took off her helmet and gave a grin. "This place sure brings back memories. I’m just glad that I don’t live here anymore".

Abby smiled and they walked up to the door into her place and unlocked it. "Welcome to my simple little place".

There was not much stuff in the place. A small couch in the middle of the floor, a TV on a table against the wall, a bed against the wall behind the couch and a small bed table beside it. Abby picked up a red bag from the floor beside the bed and walked in to the bathroom, which was further in to the right. To the left of the bathroom was the tiny kitchen that didn’t even have enough room to put in a table and a chair.

"I see that she hasn’t thrown out these old furniture yet. Everything is just as I remember it". Zoe walked over to the window and continued with an outburst "Even the damn curtains are the same. You really need to get out of this place before things starts to grow out of the stuff in here."

She could hear the smaller woman give a laugh as she came out from the bathroom and walked over to another bag that was on the floor under the table where the TV was standing. "Yeah well, as soon as I have a job that pays well enough, then I will try and find a better place. I haven’t even packed up my stuff from the bags. I was afraid that the little buggers, if there are any, would eat up my clothes if I did".

"Good thinking". Was the answer she got.

"I just need to find some clean underwear and t-shirts and we’ll be on our way".

Zoe walked over to the bed and looked through the magazines on the bed table. Most of them were filled with short love novels, tips about what kind of person that you would be most comparable with and how to find ‘the right one’. Nothing that Zoe would have any interest in. She put the magazines down again and turned to where Abby was standing. "You about ready?"

"Yes, I’m just gonna put down this stuff and get my toothbrush and I’m all done"  She ran in to the bathroom, grabbed the toothbrush and came back our again. "Okay, I’m done. Let’s go".

When they came back to Zoe’s apartment it was already 7pm. Just as they got their shoes off, the phone rang and the singer went to answer it. Abby sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. She zipped through the channels and stopped at what seemed like a film. After a little while Zoe came to sit beside her.

"That was Jennifer, she got us a gig at a club this weekend".

"That’s great." she looked at the blue-eyed woman and saw that she didn’t look too happy about the news. "Or isn’t it?"

"Yes it is but that means I have to play both Friday and Saturday night and I won’t have much time to be with you."

Abby couldn’t help but smile at the comment. "Well, I think I‘m old enough that you can leave me here alone you know."

The singer took the smaller hand in hers. "I know. I just want you to know that I really love playing and if you’re going to stick around it will affect you too whether you like it or not. Music is a big part of me and it helps me when I’m sad or angry or when I just need to be alone for a while. I just want you to be aware of that before things gets more serious between us. I won’t give up playing."

Abby looked up at the singer and cupped her face. "Zoe, I would never ask you to give up your music for me or anything else. And you shouldn’t even consider it if someone asked you to do it. I know that you love playing and that it’ll probably take a lot of your time. This is a part of who you are, no one should ever try and take that away from you".

Zoe chuckled and drew a hand through the blonde hair. "Yeah well, we’ll se about that in a couple of months when you start to forget what I look like." They both smiled and Zoe caressed the smaller woman’s cheek before she continued.

"No, but seriously Abby, I’m not used to having to think about anyone else so if things starts to get way out of hand, then tell me. It’ll take a while for me to get used to it. But hopefully not too long".

Abby just smiled. "That’s okay. When I start to ask you who you are when you come home, then you’ve probably spent too much time with your guitar".

The singer pulled Abby closer and gave her a hug.  "Thank you for understanding".

The following week passed pretty quickly. They spent most of the time in the city so that Abby would get the chance to get to know it a little better and find her way around it. The boss of the studio where Zoe worked was out of town so she had pretty free working hours to do as she pleased as long as she got the things done. The singer was going to ask about Abby’s chances to get a job there as soon as he came back.

Some days Abby sat and listened as Zoe was playing and recording background music for other bands and singers. She showed tapes of where she played background music to some of the famous artists that recorded their records at the studio. Abby had never thought that the music on some of the CD’s she bought, actually had Zoe playing the guitar on them, or that it wasn’t often that the famous singers had even met the ones who played the music on their records. Abby tried to come up with a song that Zoe couldn’t play but there was no use, Zoe could play every single one that she named. She tried everything from Jazz and Blues to Heavy Metal.

The smaller woman could see now how much the music really meant to the singer and how she always seemed so happy when she had the guitar in her hands. She was one of the lucky ones that were able to do what she loved most in the world and get paid for it. And from what Abby could figure, it wasn’t like Zoe would have to worry about money. But she also knew that the singer would do it even if it didn’t pay that well. Zoe had even made a CD for Abby where she sang and played the guitar to songs that she had written herself. Songs that were only for her and Zoe and no one else would ever hear them.

When they woke up on Friday afternoon, Zoe wasn’t feeling too good. She’d had a fever during the night and was still feeling pretty weak when she got up from the bed. Abby helped her to the couch and went in to the kitchen and got a cold glass of water.

"Are you sure that you should play tonight when you’re feeling like this?" Abby asked in a concerned voice as she let her hand travel its way over the pale cheeks.

"I’m fine. Just need some fresh air and some apple juice. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay in a few minutes."

Zoe got up from the couch and walked to sit out on the balcony. Abby walked in to the kitchen and got a glass of apple juice and went to join Zoe on the balcony.

"Here you go." Abby said as she handed the glass to the singer and looked at her pale face.

"Thanks, Ab." She took the glass and almost emptied all of it at once. Then turned her head to face the smaller woman. "Don’t look so worried. I’ll be fine. "

She took the smaller hand in her own as if she was trying to be more convincing that way. Abby could see in Zoe’s eyes that she still had a fever but she also knew that there was no use in trying to make the singer understand that she was sick and needed to be in bed. One thing that she had come to understand about Zoe was that she was never ‘sick’. Maybe a little ‘hazy’ sometimes, but never ‘sick’.

Abby squeezed the taller woman’s hand and gave a halfhearted smile. "Okay, if you say so. But if I don’t see any improvement in a few hours, I’m putting you back to bed." And with that she got up and walked in to the apartment again, leaving Zoe alone on the balcony.

‘Why do you have to be so damn stubborn Zoe! There is no way that you’ll be able to play for four hours straight tonight if you don’t get a little better by tonight.’

The blonde woman got dressed and then walked back in to the kitchen again to make some breakfast. Just as she was about to sit down at the table, Zoe came in to join her. She sat down at the opposite side of the table and Abby handed her a sandwich. She could see how the singer was trying to act as if there was nothing wrong with her, but the pale face and light blue eyes gave her away.

After the pretty quiet breakfast, Zoe got dressed and started packing all her stuff for the gig. Abby sat down on the couch and automatically turned on MTV, even though that was one channel that she had never been that interested in. By now she knew all the songs that were on the different charts and most of the lyrics as well. After listening to the same channel for almost a week, all the time when they were home, it was hard to avoid to snap up a thing or two, whether you wanted to or not.

When the taller woman was done with her packing she came to sit down behind Abby and drew her close to her chest.

"Come on babe, don’t look so sad. I promise that if I start to feel worse then I’ll come straight home. Come on, look at me." She turned up the smaller woman’s face as she said the last part. "I’ll be fine. I’ll be home before you know it. It’s only a four hour gig and then I’ll come straight home."

Abby started to give in to the soft voice and turned around and buried her face in the chest in front of her as she let her hands wrap themselves around the taller woman’s body. Zoe gave a kiss on the blonde head and whispered, "I love you." They sat like that for a long time, just holding on to each other.

As the clock approached 6pm, it was time for Zoe to get going so that they’d have time to put everything up. Jennifer came to pick her up and they loaded all the stuff in her car. When everything was packed Zoe came back in to the apartment and gave Abby a kiss and a hug. "I’ll see you just after midnight. I’ll try to be quiet in case you’re asleep."

"No, I’ll be awake. But if I have fallen asleep on the couch then wake me up when you get home, okay."

"I will. See you later."

She gave the shorter woman a quick kiss on the cheek and then walked out to the car. Abby was standing by the window and watched as the car disappeared around the corner. She then walked back to the couch and sat down with her arms crossed over her chest. ‘What to do now’. She lay down on the couch and flipped around through the channels.

‘What is that noise’ Abby thought as her mind started to clear up from the land of dreams. ‘I must have fallen asleep’ She thought as the phone kept ringing and she looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost 1am. She reached over to where the phone was standing and answered in a sleepy voice. "Hello?"

"I’m sorry, were you asleep? I didn’t mean to wake you." She could almost not hear Zoe’s voice over the loud noise in the background.

"That’s okay. Where are you?"

"I’m still at the club. The band that was supposed to play after us never showed up. I’m sorry but it looks like we’re gonna have to stay and play ‘til four."

"Oh. Well there isn’t much that can be done about that." Was Abby’s somewhat sad reply even though she tried to sound as normal as possible.

"I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Do you still want me to wake you up when I get home?"

"No, you don’t have to do that. I’m going to go to bed. But thanks for calling and letting me know."

"Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then. Sweet dreams and don’t forget about me."

The last remark made Abby feel a little better and she found herself smiling and playing with the phone cord.

"I won’t. Good night."

"Good night."

Abby hung up the phone and gave a deep sigh. She got undressed and laid down on the bed and tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. She just tossed and turned around. Finally she gave up. Frustrated she sat up again and looked up at the clock. It showed 2.16am. ‘I might as well get up and do something’ she thought and got up again. MTV was turned on as she sat down on the couch. After sitting there for a while she decided to get dressed and take a walk.

She walked in to the city, which was only a 20-minute walk. She looked in the store windows and after a while she found herself outside the club where Zoe and her friends were playing. ‘I might as well go in and listen to them playing instead of walking around out here’. As she walked in she could hear the music from the stage. She stopped and listened. That was not Zoe’s voice. She tried to look towards the stage but there were to many people in the way and her height didn’t exactly make it any easier to see over the big crowd. Maybe Zoe had let one of the other girls do the singing tonight, after all she wasn’t feeling that well earlier to day. She gave up the attempt to see the stage and sat down at an empty table close to the entrance.

A voice announced that there was going to be a short break from the music. Abby stood up and waited for the crowd to move away from the stage so she could go and say hi and show Zoe that she was there. She made her way closer to the stage but stopped as she got close enough to see the band. That was not Zoe and her friends playing. ‘Maybe it wasn’t here that they were going to play. Maybe I remembered it wrong’. The uncertainty blew away as she saw Zoe sitting at a table close to the stage. The band that had played walked over to where the raven-haired singer was sitting. The singer of the other band gave Zoe a hug as she sat down and let her arm stay around the same neck that Abby had kissed so many times before. Zoe did nothing to move the arm that was now comfortably hanging around her neck.

Abby’s first reaction was to just go up to them and ask what the hell they were doing, but she decided to stay where she was and just wait for Zoe to notice that she was watching them. The blonde singer gave Zoe a couple more hugs and Zoe gladly hugged her back. They were talking and laughing and Abby could feel that the tears weren’t far away. It felt like she had been standing there for what seemed like forever without Zoe noticing her. All that she seemed to be noticing was the blonde singer hanging around her neck. Abby spun around and headed for the entrance when she ran straight into Jennifer.

"Hi Abby. I didn’t know you were here."

Abby just gave her a look and ran out from the club. Jennifer just chook her head and walked further in to join Zoe and the others.

"Hey Zoe. What was Abby so upset about?"

"Abby? Is she here?"

"Well, she was. She’s not anymore. She ran out about two minutes ago. She looked pretty upset."

Zoe’s eyes widened as she looked at the blonde woman sitting beside her. "SHIT!! She must have seen..." With that Zoe flew up from the table and ran towards the entrance, almost knocking the table over in the process.

Abby was running but she had no idea of where she was heading. She just kept running for as long as she could while the tears were pouring down her face. When she was totally out of breath she sat down on the grass and buried her face in her drawn up knees. A cab pulled up and the driver got out of her car and walked over to Abby. "Sweetie, are you okay? Did something happen to you?"

The smaller woman just kept crying and shook her head.

"Come on, I’ll drive you home."

Abby let herself be lead to the car and sat down in the front seat. She managed to sob out the address to her apartment on the south side and the car started rolling. After a little while she got herself to stop crying and just looked out through the window. How could Zoe do this to her? All her talk about finally feeling complete. If she really felt that way, how could she just move on to the next one when she knew that Abby was at home, waiting for her? Why should she call home and say that she had to stay and play when the other band was there? Abby couldn’t understand what she had done so wrong. ‘Don’t forget about me’ my ass! Who had forgotten about whom! The sadness that she had felt before was now gone, all that was left was anger and feeling betrayed.

The car pulled up outside her apartment. She thanked the cab driver and walked in to her place, locking the door behind her. She buried her face in the pillow on the bed and cursed herself for being so stupid. That she had trusted Zoe with all her heart and soul. She had thought the whole time that Zoe was far too good to be true. ‘Boy had she been right!

She was awakened the next morning by a loud knock on the door.

"Abby!? Are you there? It’s Zoe. Please, if you’re there, open the door."

Abby lay quiet at the bed, wondering if she should answer or not, while Zoe kept knocking and pleading. "Come on babe, open the door. Please open the door."

Abby was still quiet. The tears started to fall down her cheeks again and she buried her face in the already wet pillow. A few moments later she heard Zoe leaving the door and drive away on her bike.

Abby walked up to the window just in time to see the motorcycle disappear around the block. She went back to the bed and sat down. She just sat there and stared at the floor, thinking about last night. There were no empty beer bottles at the table where Zoe had been sitting, so she couldn’t even use the excuse that she’d been too drunk at the time. What the hell had she been thinking? How could she have been so sweet when she called and then be with someone else?

She shook her head and decided to take a long hot shower.

When she got out from the shower, she went to lay down on the bed with only a towel wrapped around her body. She pulled herself up on one elbow and turned on MTV and put the remote down on the small table beside the bed. She lay down and pulled the cover over her body.

A few hours later she woke up again. It was raining hard outside. She got up and got a glass of juice from the fridge and then wet back to sit on the bed. She took the remote and zipped through the channels. There was an old western film with John Wayne that she finally decided that she could watch.

Her mind started to drift back to Zoe and the things that they had shared during the past week. The singing at the studio. The songs that Zoe had written. Her gorgeous smile. The hands moving over her body, pleasing and teasing. The soft lips traveling down her body, satisfying her in every way possible. Abby’s hands moved along her body, the same way she had felt Zoe do. And now in her thoughts, Zoe was doing it again. Teasing her with soft caressing touches, moving slowly from her breasts, down her body. Moving slowly up and down the inside of her thighs. Lightly let a finger move over the damp curls and then slowly move further in to explore her folds.

The knock on the door brought her back to the land of the living again and she heard John Wayne shooting on the TV. She drew down the volume and listened.

"Please, Abby. Let me in. I know you’re there." Zoe’s voice was soft and Abby could hear that she was almost crying. "Abby, please..."

Abby sat up on the bed and pulled the towel around her body. The pleading of Zoe’s voice made her want to run to the door and open it, but instead she just sat on the bed and listened.

"I’m not leaving until you let me in so I can explain. I love you..."

Abby got up from the bed and moved to quietly stand by the door, with her forehead resting against it.

"Just open the door and let me explain. It’s not what you think... Abby please...I don’t want to loose you."

Abby’s hand slowly moved to the lock on the door and rested there for a few moments before she unlocked it and opened the door. Zoe was standing there all wet. Her black jeans and leather jacket were soaked from the rain. The wet hair was hanging down her face and the water was dripping down the same way.

"Can I please come in?"

Abby moved away from the door, leaving it open, and went to sit on the bed, tightening the towel around her body. Zoe came in and closed the door but remained standing just inside of the door.

"I’ve been looking for you all over. It’s not what you think."

Abby let her head fall down and focused her eyes at the floor and then slowly brought her head up again with tear filled eyes.

"Then explain it to me. ‘Cause I can’t make any sense of it."

Zoe moved some of the wet hair from her eyes before she began gesturing with her hands as she gave her explanation.

"They hadn’t showed up at the club when I called you, but a while after they did. Their car where they had some of their stuff had been stolen and they needed to borrow some of ours to be able to play. They needed to borrow my guitar and I didn’t want to leave it there in case something happened to it."

Zoe could hear just how incredibly stupid it sounded that this whole thing had gotten out of hand just because she didn’t want to leave her guitar with strangers.

"I love you Abby. What you saw was just her thanking me for lending the guitar to her. I would never betray you. I can understand how you might think that something else was going on, but I swear with all my heart and soul, nothing happened."

Zoe stopped and looked at Abby’s face moving up to meet hers. The tears were falling down her face and Abby felt so guilty for not trusting Zoe and believing that she would betray her. The taller woman slowly walked over to where Abby was sitting and put her arms around her. Abby’s arms took a steady grip around Zoe’s neck and she buried her face against it.

"I’m so sorry Zoe for not trusting you. I was just so afraid that I’d done something wrong and that you would leave me."

The singer smiled and lifted the smaller woman’s head up to meet her eyes.

"How could I ever leave you? You’ve made me feel so complete. Like you’re the source to my entire being. I know that we’ve moved pretty fast, but I meant every word that I said to you. I’ve never been so happy or felt so free in my whole life. And I owe it all to you. I love you so much."

Zoe moved her hands to cup the face before her. She gently kissed the forehead then moved down to the cute little nose, the wet cheeks and finally claiming the waiting lips. When Zoe heard a deep moan come from Abby, she knew that she was forgiven. When the kiss broke Abby looked at the soaked singer.

"You’re wet. We need to get you dry and warm so you don’t get sick. I really am sorry..."

"It’s okay. If I saw what you did, I would probably have reacted the same way."

Abby began to remove Zoe’s leather jacket, gently kissing her neck at the same time. Then her hands moved down to pull up the t-shirt over the dark head. On their way back down to unbutton the jeans they softly caressed the wet skin on the upper body. The singer was gently loosening the towel that was hiding what she so desperately wanted to touch and feel. Abby guided Zoe down on her back while she was loving and caressing her body, moving the rest of her clothes in the process. All Zoe could do was lay back and enjoy the sensation that she had thought she’d never experience again.

She had searched for Abby everywhere. She had gone straight home from the club but Abby wasn’t there. She had taken the bike and driven all over the city without result. She had been home a few times during the night to see if Abby had come there, and the panic had struck harder each time she wasn’t there. When she came to Abby’s place at the south side this morning and no one opened the door, she almost gave up hope on finding her. Her heart had skipped a couple of beats, and she silently thanked the crack in the window, when she had heard the TV in Abby’s place when she came back.

At least now she knew that nothing else had happened to her. And the happiness that she was feeling now was greater than anything she had ever felt before. Abby was back in her arms again where she always should have been.

When Abby woke again it was late night. She shook Zoe so that she would wake up.

"Weren’t you supposed to play at the club tonight?"

"It’s okay. I told them that if I hadn’t come to the club by 7pm, they would have to do without me. You are more important to me than one gig."

"Oh, I rank that high." Came a teasing reply from the blonde.

Zoe smiled and kissed her softly. Abby looked up in asked with a wicked smile on her face.  "Do I out rank the guitar?"

Zoe laughed. "Don’t push it."

After a while of cuddling they decided to go down to the club and show the others that they were okay.

They entered the pub hand in hand and sat down at the table close to the stage, where Zoe had been sitting the night before. Jennifer wiggled her eyebrows at them from her place behind the microphone. Zoe smiled and drew Abby to sit on her lap and put her arms around the smaller body. They listened to the music and sang along to the lyrics. Zoe had written all the songs so Abby knew them by heart by now.

After a while the singer kissed her friend beside her and got up from where she was sitting. She walked up to the stage and talked to Jennifer. Jennifer nodded and gave Zoe the guitar that had been hanging around her neck and then walked off the stage. The other members followed her and they sat down beside Abby at the table. Zoe brought up a chair on the stage and adjusted the microphone before she sat down. She then hung the guitar around her neck and leaned towards the microphone.

"This next song is dedicated to Abby, the most important person in my life." She looked straight at Abby before she continued. "This one’s for you babe."

As long as the sun keeps shining,

I will run my fingers through your golden mane

As long as the wind keeps blowing,

I will caress your soft skin

As long as the rain keeps falling from the sky,

I will wipe the tears from your eyes

As long as I keep breathing,

I will dedicate my life to you

As long as you let me

There is a tale about everyone dedicating their lives

to finding the other half of their soul, to feel complete

I didn’t even know that I needed to find mine

I thought I had all that I wanted. All that I needed

But when you stepped in to my life

I finally understood the meaning of the tale from so long ago

I always thought that the strongest trees stood alone

and that was their way to show their power and strength

But as the years go by I watch as the strong trees are fading

I see that they are leaning in to find someone to keep them standing

I don’t want to wait that long

I want the tale to come true for me as much as for you

As long as the sun keeps shining,

I will run my fingers through your golden mane

As long as the wind keeps blowing,

I will caress your soft skin

As long as the rain keeps falling from the sky,

I will wipe the tears from your eyes

As long as I keep breathing,

I will dedicate my life to you

As long as you let me


As the song ended, Abby’s face was covered with tears. Zoe put the guitar down and said in the microphone that the band would be back after a little break. Then she walked over to where Abby was sitting and put her arms around the little blonde. Abby held a tight grip around Zoe’s neck and just kept crying. The singer smiled and caressed her back until the crying ceased.

"Zoe, that was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. I love you so much."

Zoe squeezed her tighter and let her hands bury themselves in the blonde hair.

Abby turned her face up to look at Zoe. "But when did you write it? I’ve been with you almost the whole time. When did you have time to write it?"

The singer gave a sweet smile and caressed the cheek before her, as a tear of her owns slowly made its way down from her eye. "When I was out looking for you. I felt like I was going to break apart when I couldn’t find you anywhere. I’ve never felt so empty in my whole life."

Abby threw herself around the singer’s neck again and held on like she was hanging down from a cliff and was about to fall. Several moments passed before the smaller woman finally eased her hold around the taller woman’s neck and looked up at the blue eyes that were so full of love and concern.

"Zoe, I’m so sorry. I just got so scared when I saw that woman sitting with you. I didn’t know what to do. I though I would loose you."

"Abby, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be right here."



The song "As long as" © Nickie 2000.

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