Personal journal Kate Jensen

My beautiful wife suggested that in addition to the Captain's Log, that is mandatory, I start keeping a personal journal for those items that really do not have a place in the official record with official ship business. A place to put my personal thoughts down. I do not know why we had not thought of this before. A place for my thoughts, hopes and dreams.

Our family, especially our children have blossomed in space. I know they miss running around outside like children do. To climb trees and get dirty. We try to take them to the forest area we have now named the Green Retreat. More and more families visit the area. It rejuvenates us all. The artificial sunlight and the trees and plants help to refresh us.

Safe Haven has also been opened up to let the children run off all that excess energy children have an over abundance of.

The biggest surprise of all is how close Kacey and I have become. She still considers me to be her best friend. When she under went hypnosis, I learned just how much I still mean to her. Things she would never have told me face to face, she said under hypnosis when her subconscious took over.

She still has not recalled the Castor incident, which is good. Every day that passes without the memory resurfacing is good. I have noticed her reluctance in carrying a regular side arm like the one she wore on that fateful day. She will only carry a phasic rifle or side arm. I am in a quandary over this. I can not in good conscience order her to carry a side arm. Even though her safety could very well depend on it. My one consolation is that when we are off ship, there is always enough people around her with regular side arms if the need arises. I will not do anything to trigger that memory.

As Captain, there is nothing that is really secret on the ship. I know when any member of my crew reports to Sick Bay or sees one of the doctors. I do not know the nature of the visit, just that they have seen a doctor. I found out this morning that Kacey and Natalia have been to see Dr. Amstall. Being that Dr. Amstall is the only OB-GYN on board can only mean one thing. They are planning on starting their family, or at the very least talking about it. Until such a time, that they decide to tell me, that information will remain a secret.

Natalia has been good for my head strong, sometimes impetuous, sister. She has tempered her. We can now have conversations where we can rationally discuss or even disagree with out resorting to yelling or cursing at each other. Those arguments that would only end when I resorted to pulling rank on her. We still occasionally yell at each other and always will. That is just who we are.

We were having yet another family dinner the other night and we were reminiscing about our early days. I remembered how mom and Liam asked me to call Liam, dad. Kacey had just started talking and because she rarely heard the word dad, she called Liam by his name. It was hard for me to do as I still could remember my own father. But he was a man who was seldom home and the memory of a nine year old child about the man who was never around was replaced by the man with the laughing blue eyes. The jolly Irishman, who helped me through those awkward teen years. The man who stood proud at my graduation from High School and the Space Academy. The man who walked by my side at my wedding. The man who sang to me while we danced. The man who had tears in his eyes when I asked him if he minded if I went back to calling him dad. He may not be my biological father, but he is much more. He is the man who chose to love me as his daughter, and that is so much more. He is my father in my heart. It may take awhile to break the habit, but like any habit you try to break, it will take practice.

This past year has been a year of discovery, for me, both personally and professionally. What discoveries await us as we begin our second year?

End of book one.

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