Immortality and Greek Wizardy

by: Patricia Winterburn


The standard disclaimer. The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong in their entirety to Universal and Renessaince, and to their writers and who ever else owns the property. No copyright infringement was intended and this is all in fun.

No R rating warning is needed, but a hint of subtext. No violence just an arguement.

This story is a what would happen to Xena and Gabrielle, if they were stuck in the 21st century after Send in The Clones.


I am Tapesus. An immortal Greek wizard. I have exsisted for nearly 3000 years, all because I saw them and felt they needed my help.

Being a wizard isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, how many potions can you mix and magic tricks to learn before you get bored.

There are some days you just shouldn't get up out of bed and this was one of them.

I had no interest in my work today. I decided to peek into my pool of knowledge and see what was happening in the outside world. There they were. The dark haired warrior and her strawberry blonde bard. Beautiful, both of them. I watched intently as their lives unfolded to me. Each day seemed to be one adventure after another. "How could two people get into so much trouble?" I thought to myself. "Perhaps they could use a little help, without their knowing about it."

It started out quite innocently at first. A well placed dagger for the dark haired warrior to use, or a tree limb shaped fashionably like a staff for the bard. "How could it hurt helping them out?" A question which was soon to be answered.

She appeared to me one day, after a little hand to my friends, in a huge puff of pink smoke. Hands on hips she approached me with fire in her eyes and wearing the most see through pink outfit I had ever seen. "Aphrodite, Goddess of Love", I spoke softly, while bowing before her. "What have you been doing with my girls?" she hollered. "Nobody plays with Xena and Gabrielle except for me!"

"My apologies goddess" I stammered, "I had no way of knowing they belonged to you." " They " , she said "are my friends, so hands off."

Just then another large puff of black smoke appeared. It was her brother, Ares, God of War. Again my heart stopped in fear, that I would be killed by his sword

and left to die forgotten, as so many of his victims were. He just growled at me and turned to talk to his sister. "Stop interferring Dite", he yelled. "Xena is mine and I will do what I want with her." "No you won't Ares", she shot back at him, "I love both of them and you will not bother them anymore!" Ares just laughed at her and yelled,"we'll finish this once and for all." "You know what I mean."

With that last comment, he was gone and before me sat the Goddess of Love, in tears. "Can I help you with anything, goddess?" I quietly asked? She turned to me and said, "Yes, perhaps you can."

She explained to me, that Ares was even more intent on claiming Xena then ever before. He even threatned to kill Gabrielle, to hell with Xena's feelings for her. She had a plan, but it would require a commitment from me for eternity.

Aphrodite, shot me a wink. "Sit tight wizard", "I'll be right back."

In a flash she was gone, and I collasped in a heap on the floor. "What have I gotten myself into this time." I didn't dare answer myself.

The battle that raged on Mt. Olmypus between Ares and his sister lasted for days. Finally Zeus put a stop to his bickering childrens arguement and came up with a answer to satisfy both of them. For love to dominate the world, Xena and Gabrielle must always find each other as each generation passes. Should they not meet or come together before Gabrielle's 25th birthday, Ares would take Xena's decendant for his own and war would rule.

"Immortal," she said. "You will be immortal and ensure that they will always be together." "How am I going to accomplish this?" I whined, not knowing how to deal with this. "Their souls are united," she explained. "Through out each decendant they will always be looking for the other half of each other." "They will know as soon as they meet, it's just getting them there." "That's where you come in." I groaned at the thought of trying to convince that stubborn dark haired warrior to do anything that wasn't her idea. For her to realize love even now, Aphrodite had to double douse her with a love potion. Gabrielle on the other hand, couldn't get enough. Sometimes I checked on them at the most inconvenient time.


The years passed until that fatefull day in Japa. Nothing I could do or whisper to Xena stopped her from this suicide mission she was on. The best I could do was to keep Gabrielle alive. It was not her time. I think she realized that when I sent Xena's chakram back to her. They had come full circle. Xena was redeemed and Gabrielle was a warrior. My promise to Aphrodite was about to begin.

Xena's spirit never left Gabrielle's side. She remained loyal and watched over her friend for many years, even saved the Amazon Queen's daughter from drowning.

This was Gabrielle's first decendant who would carry on her legacy. Eve carried on Xena's.

The day Gabrielle died, my heart broke. Even Aphrodite cried as she blessed her friend for the last time. Eli accompanied Xena for Gabrielle's spirit. He allowed them a short reunion before it was time to enter the heavens. They would both be reborn soon and a new life would begin. My hunt for their souls would soon begin.

I was lucky at first. The world was young and small. Most of the population centred around what is now called Europe and they where easy to find. As I expected the dark haired one was always hard to convince. Magic potions usually worked, but sometimes one had to resort to a swift kick in the butt to get her to see. As the planets population grew, it became harder to find them. Sometimes time would be running out before the blondes 25th birthday. I would hear Ares laughter in the background ready to take his prize, but some how I always managed to make the deadline. That is until Alti returned.


I remember the day Xena took a strand of her and Gabrielle's long hair, twisted them together and inserted them into the handle of her sword. It was just another jester of love that Xena showed her bard. "It's a warrior thing." she would say. Some how Alti must have known, for in the 21st century mankind discovered cloning. With those two strands of hair still imbeded in the swords handle Alti cloned Xena and Gabrielle. She had brought them back to life to seek her revenge, that had eaten at her soul for centuries. Her evil was more powerfull then ever and modern technology was on her side. But when she revived them they had no memory of the past. They were at her mercy.

The search for their decendants had proved impossible. No where. Every country, every city, every small village, nothing. Something was wrong. I felt the tremble of the stars and the shift of the earth. The cosmos was out of line. Ares, it had to be Ares doing. After all these centuries he must of discovered a way to stop me from finding them. In desperation I called for Aphrodite. It had been many lifetimes since our last encounter. I hoped I was still in her favour. A cloud of white smoke filled my office. Yes, even I had changed with the times. Her blonde hair hadn't changed. She was clothed in an outfit of gold. Shimmering in the light,she looked more beautiful then ever. "Given up on pink, goddess?" I asked with a huge grin on my face. "Duh,wizard, that was two milleniums ago." "The cosmos is out of whack, goddess." "Any idea what's going on?" "Alti", was her only reply. Somehow that name said it all.

She explained what Alti had done and how it has changed the course of history. Xena and Gabrielle had returned, so their souls would be reunited. But, they had no memory, without their memory, their souls were lost. How do I bring these two hearts together? Two hearts, one soul.

"And what of the decendants?" I looked at Aphrodite with the saddess of eyes and

a feeling I wasn't going to like the answer. "Find them, and keep Xena and Gabrielle alive and away from Alti." "How," but she was gone , leaving me to this immpossible task. "Damn, why didn't I just stay in bed that morning," I said to no one in particular. "After all these centuries and I'm still kicking myself."

My magic was no match for Alti's. Her evil was far to powerfull for me to tangle with. But, a sly grin came over my face, I wonder if a certain bard will take one look at that beautifull face of a certain warrior princess and maybe their own magic will start to happen? With a little help of course.

Alti had revived them only to discover they had no memory of themselves or her.

In her anger, chairs flew, lights exploded and she was ready to destroy them in a flip of a switch. But a certain God of War had other ideas. With a huge puff of that familiar black smoke, he appeared before her. "Touch that switch ," he growled, "and I will send you back into Tartarus." "Try to stop me," she screamed at him. "I've had enough of your interference, Ares." In that moment of time , these two powerfull forces clashed . It felt like an earthquake had hit the city. People ran for cover as windows broke, buildings shook and bolts of fire rained down everywhere. Lucky for me, two stray bolts, with the power of lightning, hit the computer terminal that controlled Xena and Gabrielle's enviro-unit. Sparks flew, lights on the board exploded and their two bodies jumped back to life. I had never done this in all my years with them, but time was running short.

It was time they met their wizard. My own powers had developed quite well over

the years. As the other two still battled each other, I appeared before my two startled friends. "Take my hands and hold on tight." In a flash we were back in the safety of my office. Here we were. Face to face for the first time in all these years. "Welcome to the 21st century." I said. One very angry warrior started snarling at me. "Who are you and what do you mean the 21st century?" I was shocked to hear the ancient greek language that flowed from her mouth. It had been a long time since I had heard her voice, so deep and commanding. Gabrielle just stood there looking around the room, not knowing what to think or say at this time. "Sit down, please." I said in the ancient tongue. "How much do you remember?" I asked. They both looked at each other and said. "Nothing."


Nothing. I sat down at my desk and stared at these two lost warriors, who I had spent my entire life watching over. I knew every possible course that their lives had taken. Every battle, good deed, friend, child born and their final death. Even just to explain to them they're own lives, they would never grasp the bond that held them together for so many years. "My name is Tapesus." I am a wizard who has watched over your lives and that of your decendants for almost 3000 years. A smile came over my face. "Perhaps a history lesson is in order." With a wave of my hand we returned to a place long forgotten to mortal man. It had been a long time since I had returned back home to my cave where it had been home for many years. Computers in the modern world had made life so much easier and there was no need to live like my ancient for self. The pool of knowledge still glowed. It's warmth reminded me, how much I missed this part of my life. A simpler time. No wires and plugs and e-mails. Just me, Xena and Gabrielle. "Ok girls." "I hope this works." I brought both of their hands together and placed it over the pool of knowledge. Their eyes closed and held their breathe. A warm glow surrounded both of them. A look of wonder came over both of their faces as each of their lives started to unfold for both of them. From childhood, to teenager, to warlord, to protecter of the innocent. It was almost to much for Xena to bare. The tears fell down her checks as she watched her entire life before her. Surely this was not me. How could someone have lived like that and still had the love of one so beautiful as Gabrielle. "Was Japa the right thing to do?" "How could I have left you?" "I am so sorry, please forgive me."

Gabrielle viewed her life with much more wonder. A bard, an Amazon Queen and finally a warrior. Her own tears fell at Xena's final battle. "But look Xena!" She cried. "You gave me a child." "Just like Calisto gave you Eve." When the pool had finished showing Gabrielle her life, they both turned and stared into each others eyes. "What a beautiful life we had together." Xena whispered. With that statement Gabrielle reached up and gave Xena a passionate kiss. "I remember everything now." "Yes Xena, I wouldn't have traded our life together for anything."

Xena turned and looked at me. "You were there to watch over us." It was more of a statement then a question. "I couldn't help it." "I tried to make sure you were always in the right time at the right place." "That extra foot, you knew you couldn't jump, but did." "That was me pushing you." "An extra dagger, a handy rock or stick?" "That was me too." "And Japa?" Xena asked. "You wouldn't listen to me." My head hanging in sorrow. "I did hear you." She smiled. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

Just then I felt the earth tremble again. It shook and twisted. I felt a familiar rhythm to the planet, looking up even the stars look in alinement. Looking over at Xena and Gabrielle, I saw that look in their eyes. Their souls are one.

Another familiar feeling came over me. Their decendants. I feel them. They too are together, without needing my help. I had beaten Ares again. Gabrielle's decendant won't be 25 until next week.

But, there was still a problem to fix. "What am I going to do with you two?" Xena laughed, "That's what my mother used to say everytime Gabrielle and I would come home to Amphipolis." "Oh, and how I remember." I grinned at both of them. Gabrielle looked at me. "Just how much did you check up on us?" My face turned red. "Sometimes, ah, well, you have to understand, ah nuts." You two were like rabbits." "It was only embarrassing for me." "You never knew I was there."

We sat and talked for a very long time. If they stayed in the 21st century, Alti would surely find them. To go back into the past, what part in time would they want to be sent. To have to relive Japa, no. It would be to much for me to watch again. There was only one place that I could think of, they could spend the rest of their mortal lives in this world. Here, in my wizards cave, with the pool of knowledge. The land surrounding them would provide them with hunting and all the water they'll ever need. They would be able to live, as they should have. Together. For many years to come. It was agreed upon. I would come back and check on them from time to time. "I swear I will knock before entering the cave." Laughing as I'm trying to get the words out. A growling warrior stood over me. "I remember how to use my sword." "Make sure you do."

With a warm goodbye and a curt nod, I returned to the new world and my office.

"You have mail." My computer reminded me as I sat down at my desk. A picture of a familiar dark haired beauty with her arm around another familiar blonde appeared on my screen. Sandra Baxter and Amy Saunders. Immortality, it does have it's rewards.

The End.

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