Disclaimer: See Part I


Copyright © Saggio Amante 2003, 2004

All rights reserved.

Part 5

Regina awoke to silence. She rolled over and felt the cool indentation in the bed next to her. 'An empty bed is a lonely place,' she thought, wondering where Lydia was. She glanced at the clock. 4:30 p.m. The day was almost over, and she had to get ready for the evening's concert. She had two and a half hours to get to the concert hall. 'Plenty of time for another game of payback,' she smiled to herself.

"Lydia," Regina called. "Lydia!" When there was no reply, she grabbed her robe and headed out to the living room. Nobody there. 'Damn it, woman, where are you,' she thought.

Regina strolled into the kitchen and found a note taped to the refrigerator door.

'Darling, off to get my hair done and pick up some things to wear tonight. If I don't see you before you leave, I'll meet you in your dressing room after the concert. Hoping for a repeat performance tonight if you're not too tired.. I love you, Lydia.'

Regina smiled to herself. 'You're in for a surprise tonight, my love,' she thought. 'And I can guarantee a repeat performance.'

The tall woman fixed herself an orange juice and a light breakfast. She hated to eat a heavy meal before a concert. She was excited about the evening ahead and knew that when the evening was over, Lydia would finally understand the reason behind her long absences and late nights. She was certain the smaller woman was beginning to suspect that she was having an affair, and it was sometimes more than she could bear to keep from telling her lover the truth. Tonight, though, would make everything clear.

After finishing her meal, Regina put the dishes in the dishwasher and headed back to the bedroom. She made up the bed then entered their large closet to select her clothing for the evening. She laid out a white tuxedo with a royal blue cummerbund and selected a ruffled shirt with French cuffs that required cufflinks. She knew that Lydia preferred the white against her olive complexion, and she intended to spend tonight pleasing her lover. She would wear the platinum and sapphire cufflinks that Lydia had given her on their first anniversary, and she was certain the gesture would not be lost on her. When she was satisfied with her selections, she placed them in clothing bags and laid them back on the bed.

Just as Regina was ready to slip into the bathtub for a long soak before leaving for the concert hall, the phone rang. She grabbed it quickly, hoping it would be Lydia. "Hello," she answered anxiously.

"Gina! Hello, " Lydia said breathlessly. "I'm not going to make it back before you leave. Jose is behind schedule and can't get to my hair for at least another half hour. I'm so sorry, darling. I'll see you afterwards. Love you."

"Love you, too, baby," Regina replied. "I'll take the limo to the theatre and send it back for you. And, Lydia ...."

"What, darling?"

"While you're sitting up there in the box, I want you to do something for me."


"I want you to think of my hands touching you, my mouth kissing you. Think of me taking you. Know that with each movement I make on that stage, with each bar of the music that plays, I will be thinking of the same thing. See you tonight, my love. Happy anniversary. Ciao."

Regina heard Lydia's sharp intake of breath and grinned widely as she hung up the phone.


Lydia sat alone in their private box waiting for the concert to begin. From the stage below, she could hear the orchestra warming up their instruments, a not unpleasant mixture of discordant sound. She had ignored the program that the usher handed her knowing by heart the selections that Regina would be conducting. Regina had been one of the most popular guest conductors of the Littleton Symphony Orchestra, and her "Bramante presents Beethoven and Brahms" had been this season's most sought after ticket. Lydia had already sat through a similar evening but this was the last night of the series, and she had promised Gina she would be there.

The house lights dimmed slightly, and the musicians stopped their warm-up. The director of the Littleton Symphony stepped out on the stage and began to speak.

"Friends, this evening we have a special performance for you. Instead of the usual program in this concert series, tonight we will present La Passionata, a series of original compositions by our guest conductor, Regina Bramante. Hold onto your seats, Ladies and Gentlemen, you are in for a rare treat. And now, I present Maestro Regina Bramante and the Littleton Symphony Orchestra."

The house lights dimmed and a spotlight followed Regina's entrance from stage left to the podium. She turned and bowed to the audience, then glanced at the box where Lydia sat, gesturing a kiss in her direction.

Turning back to the podium, Regina tapped her baton three times in rapid succession against it. The orchestra settled down, and the concert began. The hall went silent as the sounds of a violin concerto began to haunt the air. The applause from the audience became more enthusiastic after each selection. The music was outstanding, full of longing and passion, shyness and bravado, a chronicle from first meeting to seduction. Just before the final selection, Regina turned to the audience and spoke.

"Tonight is a very special occasion. Not only is it my last night with you," she said to the audience, then raised her head to look up at the box where Lydia was sitting, "but tonight is the anniversary of the tenth year from the very first day that I met the love of my life. Without her, there would be no Bramante, no La Passionata. She is, always, my inspiration. I dedicate this evening, but particularly this final selection, to her."

Regina strode over to the grand piano that had been placed at stage left while she spoke. She sat down and began to play, her long fingers making love to the ivory and ebony keys beneath them. The orchestra came in quietly behind her. The music throbbed and soared, from crescendo to lento to crescendo, harps and flute played the music of angels; tympani played the thunder of two lovers' heartbeats and chronicled the throb of their lovemaking. The audience sat stunned. The music was so passionate and intimate that it seemed as if the conductor were making love to each one of them alone.

Lydia sat quietly, tears of joy running down her cheeks. She heard the music; it was on her and in her; her body throbbed with each beat; it was Gina's hands touching her and teasing her; it was their bodies writhing together, naked, in the heat of passion; it was Gina's mouth demanding and pleasuring; it was Gina taking her over and over until she could respond no more, then finding a way to excite her again. It was very private ecstasy in a very public place.

'I will never doubt your love again,' Lydia thought, as she felt the desire for her lover flood over her with an all-consuming intensity. She leaned forward in the box and stared down at the stage as Regina played the final bars of her symphony. When the last note was played, Regina lowered her head and sat for a moment. Then she stood, bowed to the audience, and looked up to where Lydia sat. Even from that distance, her eyes captured those of her lover and Regina knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that all the secrecy and misunderstanding that had been between them for several weeks was worth it to have it culminate in this one perfect moment in time.


Katherine picked up the phone and dialed an all too familiar number. She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard a woman's voice at the other end rather than an answering machine. "Judith Singer, here."

"Judith, this is Katherine," she said. "Sorry to bother you at home on the weekend, but I really need your help.

Dr. Judith Singer leaned back in her chair. "What's the matter, Katherine?" she asked. She had been working with Katherine for several months, and this was only the second time the dark-haired woman had ever called her at home.

"I, uh, I've met someone." Katherine began slowly. "It's just that …" She hesitated.

"Yes, go on, it's just that what?" Dr. Singer asked.

"Oh, God, this is so hard."

"I know, Katherine, but we have discussed this before. What is going on? I can't help you if you won't talk to me." The doctor said.

"I've met someone."

"Yes, you said that. And?"

"And I'm extremely attracted to her."


"And, I made love to her."


"And, she wanted to reciprocate."

"Katherine, talk to me! And?" The doctor knew what was coming next but also knew that Katherine had to voice it out loud.

"And I froze again. I just couldn't let her touch me. I made an excuse. I think I covered it well, but I know it is going to happen again. God, I don't want to scare her off."

"Do you want her to make love to you?"

"No ... yes ... I don't know. I mean, I do, but I just can't."


"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You know exactly why. Play the script in your mind. What happens when you let someone touch you intimately?"

"I give up control." Katherine said in a small voice.

"And what is wrong with that?"

"If I care too much, if I let someone inside, then I'll feel that awful pain again. I can't stand that pain," Katherine said.

"Do you understand that the only way you will ever have a meaningful and significant interpersonal relationship is if you allow not only intellectual, but emotional and physical influences to play out as well?" Asked the doctor.

"Yes," Katherine replied.

"Katherine," Dr. Singer continued, "attaching emotions to situations is one of the primary ways that we learn. Sometimes we just get the wiring wrong. You've had a significant trauma. It's affected the way you react to intimate situations. You can change your script if you really want to. Do you trust this woman?"

"Yes," Katherine said without hesitation


"Do you think she wants to harm you?"

Katherine pictured Laurel in her mind. "No," she answered honestly.

"Would you harm her?"


"Will you try something for me? For yourself?"

"Yes, I'll try."

"All right. The next time you are with her and she tries to touch you, I want you to take a deep breath and imagine what would be the best thing that could happen if you allowed her to touch you. Then I want you to imagine what would be the worst thing that could happen. Then I want you to just let her touch you, if only for a moment. Remember, you can always stop it. You always have that power. Think you can do that?"

"Yes," Katherine replied.

"Can you come into the office tomorrow so we can explore this further?"

"Yes. In the afternoon if you have time in your schedule."

"I'll make time, Katherine. When are you seeing this woman again?"


"Oh. Well, remember, you have nothing to fear, Katherine. What happens is up to you. See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, Doc. And, thanks," Katherine said as she hung up the phone.


Katherine looked at the clock. 'Almost time,' she thought. She picked up the phone and dialed Laurel's number.

"Hello." Laurel sounded out of breath.

"Hey. Are you just about ready?" Katherine asked.

"Give me ten minutes, K.G., then come on up. I'll leave the door unlocked," Laurel replied.

Katherine sat staring at the clock. Ten minutes had never seemed so long in her life; the tick of a clock had never seemed so loud. The second hand seemed frozen in time, and Katherine mentally willed it to move faster. She didn't want to appear too anxious and intended to wait the full ten minutes before she even left to take the elevator upstairs to Laurel's apartment. Finally, in one slow agonizing tick, ten minutes had passed, and Katherine left to meet her lover.

Laurel left the door open just as she said she would, and Katherine entered the penthouse apartment eagerly. 'What's this?' she thought as she stepped inside. The lights were dim and soft music was playing in the background. Candles flickered throughout the room. A small table was set for two and a bottle of iced wine sat next to it. Katherine looked up to see Laurel enter the room dressed in a lime green negligee that clung to her body, emphasizing each enticing feature.

Laurel reached out her hand to Katherine, and the larger woman took it in her own, momentarily mute as she drank in the stunning woman who stood before her.

"Sit, K.G." Laurel commanded, pointing at the small table. Katherine hesitated, uncomfortable with the control the smaller woman was assuming.

'Take a deep breath. Just go with the flow,' Katherine's alter ego told her. 'I guarantee it will be worth the effort."

'I'll try, A.E.,' Katherine thought.

Katherine tried to follow Laurel’s lead. She sat without comment and gazed up into Laurel's emerald eyes.

Laurel smiled, and Katherine thought that Laurel’s smile alone was worth every second of the discomfort she was feeling.

Laurel poured two glasses of the chilled wine and handed one to Katherine. "To new adventures," she toasted.

"To new adventures," Katherine responded, touching her glass to Laurel's.

Laurel sat her glass down on the table and moved into the kitchen. She returned carrying a small tray with salads, wild rice, and two herb-laced capons on it. She sat next to Katherine instead of across from her and served Katherine first, then herself.

"This is wonderful," Katherine said as she rolled the first bite in her mouth. The juicy, herbed taste was perfection.

"I'm glad you like it," Laurel responded. "I hope you don't mind spending the evening here instead of going out."

"Not at all," replied Katherine. "There's no place I'd rather be."

Some juice of the bird trickled at the corner of Katherine's mouth. Laurel reached over and wiped it off with her finger, then placed her finger in her own mouth and sucked the juice from it. It was one of the most erotic movements Katherine had ever seen, and she felt her body respond immediately

Katherine put her fork down and reached over to Laurel's plate, picking up a small piece of the capon as she did so. She placed the meat between Laurel's lips and watched her pull it into her mouth. Laurel copied Katherine's movements. The two women alternated, each feeding the other, then licking the juices from her own fingers. They stared into each other’s eyes, telegraphing their mutual need.

Laurel touched her fingers to Katherine’s lips then leaned in to capture them with her own. Her kiss was soft, unthreatening, and she was pleased that Katherine didn’t move away. Laurel gently caressed Katherine’s cheeks, then moved her hands slowly down over Katherine’s shoulders and onto her breasts.

Katherine didn't move; she allowed Laurel to take the lead and was surprised at how unexpectedly wonderful and natural it felt. 'Perhaps Dr. Singer is right after all,' Katherine thought.

The smaller woman stood and held out her arms to the taller one. Katherine rose and took Laurel in her arms, leaning to place a sweet kiss on her waiting lips.

When they broke the kiss, Laurel put her arm around Katherine's waist and led her to a large bathroom. In the corner of the room was a Jacuzzi bubbling warmly, its size sufficient for four people. The scent of lavender oil was in the air. Lighted candles cast a warm glow over the room and the women in it. Laurel slowly began to undress Katherine.

Katherine tried with all her might not to make any movement that would signal discomfort or distaste to the small woman before her. 'What's the worst thing that could happen,' she thought. 'Laurel could make love to me,' she answered to herself.

'And what's the best thing?," she asked. 'Laurel could make love to me and I to her,' she responded to herself.

'That's it, K.G.,' her alter ego said. 'You can do it.'

'I'm trying, A.E.,' Katherine thought, 'I'm trying.'

When Laurel finished undressing Katherine, she guided her into the Jacuzzi, then pulled the green negligee up over her own head and stood there for a moment watching Katherine's eyes drink her in. Slowly she stepped over the side of the tub and knelt between Katherine's legs.

Katherine laid her head back against the tub and closed her eyes. Laurel reached behind her, picked up a bottle of bath gel, and put some in her small hands. Katherine smelled the pleasant smell of apple and spice. Laurel reached her hands behind Katherine's neck and massaged the taut muscles there. "Just relax, K.G.," she said soothingly. "I promise I'll stop whenever you ask."

Katherine took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to relax. Laurel continued to massage K.G.'s neck and shoulders stopping only long enough to replace the bath gel in her hands. She rubbed the gel across K.G.'s chest and onto her breasts. She massaged each breast gently in turn and watched the rise and fall of Katherine's chest increase with each stroke. She moved her hands across Katherine's stomach and into the wet down between her legs.

Katherine automatically grabbed Laurel's hands ever so gently to prevent them from moving any further.

"It's all right, K.G.," Laurel whispered. "Let me touch you, please."

She let Katherine stop her progress and waited to see if her words had any effect at all on the larger woman. Katherine took another deep breath and closed her eyes. Slowly Katherine let out a deep breath, released her grip on Laurel's wrists, and relaxed against the back of the tub.

Laurel's hands continued their journey into the folds between Katherine's legs, then down her thighs and calves. She moved to the other side of the tub and took Katherine's feet in her lap. She massaged each one slowly, across the top and then the bottom, up to the toes, then encircling each toe in turn in her hand and sliding them through her palms. The larger woman found the feeling exquisite and felt her body responding to Laurel's touch. When she had finished each foot, Laurel returned to sit between Katherine’s legs, her back against the taller woman's breasts.

Katherine reached around Laurel and began to massage her breasts and stomach. She stretched her long arms down and moved the fingers of each hand inside Laurel's swollen lips and up and down against her clitoris.

Laurel's breathing became ragged, but this time it was she who reached to stop the other woman. "No," she said softly. "It's my turn tonight."

'I can't!" Katherine's mind screamed.

'You can!' her alter ego screamed back.

Laurel turned in the tub and placed her mouth against Katherine's. They kissed hungrily, tongues dancing in and out of each other’s mouths. Laurel moved and laid herself against Katherine's side. She began to stroke Katherine's body slowly, moving from her breasts to her stomach, to that throbbing place between her legs.

Katherine felt the small hand on her and her hips involuntarily rose to meet it. Laurel touched her slowly and gently, then increased the motion, rubbing back and forth, then in harder and harder circles on each side of her clitoris.

Katherine’s breath came in rapid gasps, and she moved her legs further apart granting Laurel full access. In one smooth motion, Laurel thrust her fingers inside Katherine, continuing a percussive beat of her thumb against the taller woman's clitoris.

Katherine felt her body respond in reckless abandon to the touch of her lover. She had never felt anything so intense nor wanted anyone so much. She felt herself begin to lose control but instead of fighting the feeling, she allowed Laurel to lead her over the precipice.

"Oh god, Laurel," Katherine cried. "Don't stop! Don't stop!"

"Shh," Laurel responded. "I've got you, love. I've got you."

The two lovers lay in the Jacuzzi as the water swirled around them. Laurel's head was on Katherine's shoulder; Katherine's lips were against the top of her head. It was Katherine who spoke first.

"May I stay?" She whispered, surprising herself that she wanted to stay and that she was asking, not demanding, permission to do so.

"Come," Laurel smiled rising from the tub and offering Katherine her hand.

'She already has,' laughed Katherine's alter ego delightedly.

The two women moved into the bedroom and lay wetly against each other in the large bed until they fell into a syncopated rhythm of sleep in each other’s arms.


To be continued in Part 6

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