Into the Dark


by Sharon Smith



This is an alternative uber story. The characters are my own. They just look and sometimes act like characters that belong to RenPics and USA Studios.

General Disclaimer:

This fiction is about professional musicians, so yes, there will be sex, drugs and maybe even some rock & roll every once in a while. I really don't think I need to say much more than that, but I will, just in case…

Adult Subject Matter:

One of the main characters deals with an addiction, one that causes her to hit rock bottom and do things that may make some people uncomfortable.

Love/Sex Disclaimer:

This story features consensual sexual relationships between adult women, some implied m/f relations, and a bit of BDSM. (Not a whole heck of a lot, but just enough to warrant the disclaimer). There's nothing extremely explicit. If this bothers you, is illegal in the state you live or you are under the age of 18, find something else to read. There are loads of general stories out there in the Xenaverse.


Again, these characters are in the music business so, yes, there is some bad language. UberX seems to want to have a foul mouth for some reason. I don't know where it's coming from cause I really don't curse often, except when I'm at work. Actually, I did happen to write some (okay, most) of this there.


Yep, there be a bit of violence in this fiction. Nothing gory though.


Got me some of that here too.

Music Business Knowledge:

I can't claim I know very much about the business, so if any of this seems terribly out there to you, it probably is. I do know how to play the drums though, so I can tell you about that.

Many thanks to kas, Yolanda, Peace, Rainne, Denise, Kevin and the pups for beta reading this baby for me. Thank you to Peggy for supplying me with the name of the band, and to Missy Good for giving me permission to use Tropical Storm- the book, in a small part of the story.

Any comments can be sent to:

Part 7

Chapter 21

"Whoa!" Rebecca looked up at the person she slammed into in the hallway as she was walking out of the bathroom. "Linda… you scared the living shit out of me!"

"Sorry about that, Rebecca." The guitarist's eyes scanned Rebecca's towel clad form appreciatively and smiled. "Jordanna let me in."

The reporter felt slightly uncomfortable being the focus of Linda's gaze and headed toward Jordanna's bedroom. "What are you doing here?"

Linda stood in the bedroom door and watched Rebecca pull out the clothing that she was planning on wearing that day, a pair of jeans and Jordanna's beat up, old Long Island Drum Center sweatshirt that she had helped herself to.

"I'm here to practice some new tunes for the next album. Since we are the main songwriters in the band, Jordanna and I usually run them by each other first to see what the other thinks." She stretched her arms out and suppressed a yawn. "Then we play them for Kelly and Rachel."

"Oh." The reporter heard her lover's footsteps coming up the stairs and smiled when she saw the tall woman come around the corner. Jordanna answered Rebecca's smile with one of her own. "Hey, baby," the drummer said, greeting her lover with a firm, warm kiss.

Jordanna turned to talk to the guitarist. "You know the studio is downstairs, Linda. What are you doing up here?"

The guitarist shrugged her shoulders. "I forgot."

Jordanna turned back to her lover. "Why don't you get dressed and come down to the studio for a while so you can give us an honest opinion of the new tunes we've been working on."

Rebecca nodded. "Okay, I'll be there in a few."

Rebecca went into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. She walked over to a chair in the corner of the room and sat down and looked out the window at the ocean, wondering why it bothered her so much that Linda was checking her out, especially since her lover had a habit of doing the same exact thing. She liked it when Jordanna did it, but then again, she realized she liked just about anything the drummer did. She shrugged her shoulders and chuckled to herself.

She dressed quickly and made her way down to Jordanna's studio. She could hear a soft acoustic tune that was familiar to her coming from behind the closed studio doors. She knew that Jordanna had been working on the song because she recognized the chords, and could just picture her lover sitting on the floor in the sunroom with her eyes closed, strumming on the guitar. What she had never heard before were the lyrics, and hearing them made her heart skip a beat. She stood silently listening to her lover's voice singing a love song. She smiled and listened to the words, knowing they were about her.

Jordanna never wrote love songs. Her lyrics always had a hard-edged, provocative type feel to them… about lust, about pain, about anger. Never about love. This wasn't just a love song, but a heartfelt, mushy love song. Rebecca knew immediately that the song would be a sure hit, and blushed at the thought of millions of people hearing Jordanna sing a song about her feelings for her.

She waited for the song to finish and then pushed the door open gently. She heard the guitarist's voice first. "That's about Rebecca, isn't it?"

Rebecca looked at the drummer who was sitting on a stool with her guitar in her lap, and smiled as their eyes met. She was waiting for Jordanna's answer.

"Yeah, it is about Rebecca."

"You know it's a chart topper, Jordanna," Linda commented. "You should have fallen in love a long time ago."

Jordanna shifted her gaze from her lover to Linda. "I know it has potential. As far as me falling in love… well, a lot of things would have been different had I met Rebecca years ago." She whispered softly. "A lot of things."

"What do you think of the song, Rebecca?" the guitarist asked, knowing Rebecca was standing behind her by watching the drummer's eyes.

"Yeah, what do you think, baby?" Jordanna hoped that Rebecca liked it.

It wasn't a hard song for her to write. The words came quickly for her and it practically wrote itself. Yet, on the other hand, it was a difficult song to write because it couldn't come close to conveying how she truly felt about the reporter.

Rebecca walked over to the drummer and wrapped her arms around her, almost knocking her off of the stool. "Do you really feel that way about me?"

Jordanna smiled. "With all of my heart."

Rebecca could feel tears coming to her eyes. "I don't know what to say, Jordanna… I love it. It's the most beautiful song I've ever heard."

"I was hoping you'd like it."

Rebecca laughed. "Like there was any doubt?" She kissed her lover gently on the forehead. "What's it called?"

"I'm not 100% sure on it yet, but 'The Other Half' is a pretty appropriate title for it." She shrugged her shoulders. "Or maybe something with your name in it."

"Oh God, don't do that." Rebecca walked to a chair in the corner of the room and sat down in it, hiding her blushing face in her hands. "Um… you can get back to work now. Don't let me disturb you."

Linda offered up her idea for a title for the song. "How about 'Rebecca's Song'?"

Jordanna laughed. "Oooh, I like that one a lot." She walked over to Rebecca and ruffled the top of her hair. "I think that one is a keeper."

Rebecca looked up. "You wouldn't dare?"

"Sure I would," the drummer answered with a chuckle.

Jordanna and Linda spent another hour or so trading songs back and forth. They were both pleased with what they had heard so far, and Rebecca enjoyed seeing the creating process in action.

Linda packed her guitar up and Rebecca saw her to her car, before returning to the house with plans to finish the article that brought the two lovers together in the first place. Jordanna, revved up and ready from the good practice session that they had just had, decided to get behind the drums and practice a bit to keep her stick work in shape.

The reporter found it difficult to concentrate on working on her article when her lover was in her studio behind her drums. "Damn…" Rebecca said, feeling the vibration of the double bass drum patterns Jordanna was playing throughout her whole lower body. After a half an hour of trying, Rebecca realized that she wasn't going to get any work done. She got up, followed the sound through the house until she found her destination and stood in the door to watch her lover play. The drummer's eyes were closed as she practiced, and Rebecca wondered exactly what she was thinking about at that moment. Was she thinking about drumming or something else? She watched in amazement as hands crossed over each other in different patterns without missing a beat, and without ever opening her eyes.

Rebecca watched as the muscled body glistening with sweat went through the ritual fills and rudiments of drumming before finally ending up playing something that could have come off of a Metallica CD.

The reporter opened her eyes and saw blue ones looking back at her. "Hey, where'd you just go baby? You were out of it for a minute there," the drummer said with a chuckle.

"I… you…" Rebecca stammered as her eyes digested the body standing in front of her. "God, Jordanna, you look so sexy all sweaty like that," she said, running her hands along the drummer's moist biceps, feeling the heat radiating off of her lover's skin.

"What are you doing?" the drummer asked, as Rebecca's fingers made their way under her tank top.

"What do you think I'm doing?" the reporter whispered in her ear.

"And here I was afraid that you wouldn't want me to touch you after I told you about Kansas," she smirked.

The reporter kissed her on the cheek and then moved down to Jordanna's neck, sucking gently. "You worry too much sometimes."

Jordanna backed away slowly. "C'mon, Rebecca… I have that appointment that YOU made for me with the therapist in a little over an hour to discuss my sexual habits. Do you think I will make a good impression going in there with a hickey and smelling of sex?"

"It would prove a point," Rebecca said, her eyes full of laughter. "And speaking of points…" She tugged on her lover's nipples through the cotton tank top she was wearing.

"Stop that!" Jordanna smacked her hands away. "As much as I want to throw you over my shoulder, lay you down on my bed and make mad, passionate love with you, Rebecca… I can't right now."

"Well… since you gotta take a shower before we go anyway we could quickly make love in the shower," the reporter teased, this time winning the hand to hand combat battle with the drummer.

"That would solve that problem of both the time and the smell," she continued. She pulled up Jordanna's tank top and took a very attentive nipple in between her teeth. "Clean and happy all at once."

Jordanna shuddered. "You… are… not… helping me here, Rebecca."

Rebecca went back to nibbling on the drummer's neck. "Who said you needed help?"

"You did," Jordanna said as she grabbed the reporter's roaming hands and backed away. "C'mon baby, I don't want to be late. You know this is very important."

"Oh, all right…" Rebecca pouted. "You already are on the road to recovery… you just aren't supposed to have willpower against my advances."

Jordanna laughed and ran her hand along the reporter's backside. "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you later. Actually um… do you want to go out tonight? Like on a date?"

"A date?"

"Yeah, we could get something to eat and then go out to a movie or dancing or something… whatever you want."

"Dinner and dancing sounds like fun… but I still don't have anything to wear," the reporter said, pointing to the drummer's old sweatshirt she was wearing.

"We could go shopping in town after the appointment," Jordanna suggested. "There's a couple of nice stores right on Main Street in Bridgehampton, not far from where the doctor's office is."

"Okay… sounds like a plan to me."

Chapter 22

Jordanna signed her name in on the sheet in the doctor's office and then joined Rebecca in the waiting room. "The woman at the desk said the doctor is running a little late," the drummer said, bending down to look at the selection of magazines the doctor's office offered. "Not much of a selection to choose from." She picked up a copy of People and sat down next to her lover. "It's a shame they don't have this months copy of On Our Backs, it's a good one."

A woman sitting a few seats down looked up at the drummer after her comment. Jordanna's eyebrow went up and she smirked at the woman, and she wondered if she got the joke or not.

"What kind of magazine is On Our Backs?" the reporter questioned, surprised that she had never heard of that one since she was in the business and all.

Jordanna laughed. "Think about the name, Rebecca."

A light went off in the reporter's head. "Oh… OH! You are so freaking bad."

The doctor's assistant opened the door to the waiting room and stuck her head in. "Ms. Fox? Come with me please."

Jordanna stood up and Rebecca followed behind her. The doctor's assistant put her hand on Rebecca's shoulder. "You can't go in there."

Jordanna turned and looked at the woman. "I want her to come in there with me." Just then, the doctor, a woman in her early 40's walked out of her office. "Ms. Fox? I'm Dr. Rosen. I would like to talk to you alone for a few minutes first, and then your friend can come in with you."

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders and went to sit back down in her seat. She watched her lover follow the doctor into her office. She picked up the copy of Cosmo she had been looking at and finished up the article she was reading.

Jordanna looked around at the doctor's office, noticing a bookshelf in the far corner of the room. She laughed to herself as she realized more than 10 copies of the book 'I'm okay, You're okay' adorned the shelf. She sat down in the seat across from the doctor and linked her fingers together, waiting for the woman to speak.

The doctor sat reading a file that Jordanna assumed was her own. She watched as the woman pushed the glasses perched at the tip of her nose back up. "So, Ms. Fox…"

"Jordanna, please."

"Okay, Jordanna… can I ask you why you are here today?"

Oh shit here we go, get me the hell out of here. The drummer shifted in her seat. "I have a problem and I need help."

"What kind of a problem?"

"An addiction."

"To what?"

Jordanna rubbed her temple and sighed. "To sex."

"I see. And… what do you hope to obtain by coming to these sessions, Jordanna?"

"Recovery… salvation, I don't know," the drummer said, feeling mighty close to surpassing her tolerance level already.

The doctor wrote a few notes down on the form that was in the drummer's folder and then looked up again. "Why do you think you are addicted to sex, Jordanna?"

ARRGGGHHHH! "Because," she said slowly, "it dominates my life. Because I can't get enough of it… because nothing ever satisfies me… because I can't stand myself anymore."

"Jordanna, tell me about yourself please. What is your occupation?"

The drummer rolled her eyes. 'I'm a musician."

The doctor looked up again. "I thought you looked familiar. I think my son has a poster of you hanging up on his wall." He definitely does, there's no mistaking those eyes.

Jordanna shrugged. "It's possible."

Dr. Rosen sat forward in her seat. "Ms. Fox… Jordanna… do you ever engage in sex with your fans?"

"Yes, mostly."

The doctor scribbled more notes down in her folder. "I see… I always thought it was the female groupies that were more forward than the males, but I guess that's just another myth."

"No, it's not a myth… they are much, much more forward," Jordanna confirmed, noticing the questioning look in the doctor's eyes. "The answer to the question you are thinking right now is yes."

The woman got up from her seat and sat down in the chair next to the drummer. "And what was I thinking about, Jordanna?"

The drummer had to bite the inside of her mouth to control the little smirk that wanted to work its way across her lips. She could see that she made the doctor a bit uncomfortable, and for some reason that was exactly the way she liked it. Jordanna leaned forward and whispered. "Whether I sleep with women or not."

The doctor digested the information and quickly returned to her seat. "Um, well… I see." She focused her attention on the paper in the drummer's file again and cleared her throat.

"What made you come to the conclusion you had a problem?" She looked up and found herself being pinned by the most intense blue eyes she had ever seen. "And… that you needed to get help for it?"

"It's not a what… but a who that helped me come to the conclusion," the drummer replied, thinking of her lover. "The woman that is sitting out in the waiting room is the person who… shall we say… opened my eyes. Which, by the way, can she come in here with me now?"

The doctor tapped her pencil on her desk. "Who is she in relation to you, Jordanna?"

"She's my lover."

"Oh, I see… You might not want your, um, lover in here for the next part of this. I'm going to be asking you questions regarding your behavior- things you've done. Some of it might not be pleasant for her to hear."

Jordanna shook her head. "I understand that. The thing is I want to be able to make a commitment to her and I know the only way to do that is to be truthful with her. I did a lot of things in my past, and I'd rather her find out now here, while she's with me than find out from someone or somewhere else. We need to go through this together."

The doctor picked up her phone, pressed the 0 key and her assistant's perky voice came over the phone. "Yes, doctor?"

"Brenda, have Ms. Fox's friend come in here now, please," the doctor said before she hung up the phone.

The two women heard a quick knock on the door and then the reporter stepped in the office. The doctor motioned for her to sit in the seat next to her lover. "Have a seat, Ms…."

"Rebecca," the reporter said. "Thank you."

"Well," the doctor said as she pulled a file out of one of her desk drawers. She pulled out a form that reminded the drummer of pop quizzes in high school. "Rebecca, it is not normal policy to have anyone but the patient in with me so early in our sessions, but Jordanna really wants your support in this. As I just told Jordanna, I need her to answer some very personal questions so I can determine how I can help her in her recovery."

Rebecca nodded. "I understand that."

"So if you have any comments or questions, you need to wait until the questioning is over, okay?" the doctor asked.

Rebecca nodded once again. "I'll keep any comments I have to myself for now."

The doctor spoke. "Jordanna, please try to answer these as honestly as possible. You will only be lying to yourself if you don't. Most of these are yes or no answers. I won't hit you with the deep talks just yet."

The reporter held out her hand for the drummer to take, showing her that she was there to support her. Jordanna took her hand and smiled.

"Okay, let's begin," the doctor said, picking up her pencil. "Do you own any pornographic movies?"


"Pornographic magazines or books?"


"Do you or have you ever masturbated while watching or reading porn?"


"Have you ever engaged in group sex?"








"Bondage and domination?"


"Top or bottom?"


The questions and answers were flying by so fast it was making Rebecca's head spin. What the hell kind of a question is that? "Um…" she cleared her throat. "What does that mean?"

"Basically she was asking me which I role I play in the BDSM scene, dominant or submissive," the drummer explained. "The top is the dominant one… the master or mistress if you want to call them that. The bottom is the submissive one... the slave."

"Oh…" God, am I that naŽve? "Okay, so you're the dominant one then. I think I knew that."

The doctor resumed her questioning now that Jordanna explained what she meant to Rebecca. "Have you ever paid for sex?"


"You have?" Rebecca asked abruptly. The doctor gave her a warning look. "Oh, sorry."

"Now where was I? Oh yes… have you engaged in public sex?"


"Have you ever been arrested for a sexual offense?"


"Um… engaged with or fantasized about sex with children, animals or corpses?"

Jordanna felt her lover's hand tense up at this question. She looked at Rebecca, who could tell she was unsure of how to answer the question. Rebecca shook her head no.

I didn't know that she was underage. I didn't know…


"Jordanna, have you ever forced yourself on someone?"

The drummer's head turned and she looked at her lover. "Uh…"

Rebecca answered the question for her. "You did not force yourself on me that night after the Garden. I was a very willing participant," the reporter said with a mischievous smile. "Besides, if I would have said no to you, would you have continued?"

"I… I don't know, Rebecca," the drummer said with sadness in her voice. "I'd like to think that I wouldn't have but I was so out of control that I'm honestly not sure."


The doctor watched the interaction between the two women with interest. From what she had heard already it was obvious that the drummer had a long road to recovery ahead of her, and she was going to need all the love and support she could get. "Can I ask you what happened?"

Jordanna sighed. "My band did a show the other night and I had someone come on to me. Before I met Rebecca I would've just given in to it, but this time I graciously declined. I couldn't get the thoughts out of my mind though, and my body was craving the action. When we got home, I tried to take care of it without hurting Rebecca but I lost control and…"

"We had a lust filled night of wonderful sex, Jordanna, that's what happened," the reporter finished. "And don't think I didn't enjoy it cause I sure as hell did. I was beyond turned on by it so don't go blaming yourself thinking you hurt me."

"Rebecca, that wasn't sex, that was fucking," the drummer said looking at her lover. "I don't ever want to do that to you again. If we feel aggressive and feel like having lusty sex every once in a while, then that's fine, but I don't ever want to be so void of feeling with you again and just fuck, because that's what happened that night. I didn't even realize it was you I was with."

"Oh…" Rebecca said with a sigh. "I guess I kinda like being fucked then though," she added with a little smirk, trying to make the obviously upset drummer feel better.

"Rebecca!" Jordanna squeezed the hand that she was still holding. She saw Rebecca wink at her and then turned her attention back to the doctor. "Please pardon my… our language, by the way."

"That's okay, its nothing I haven't heard before." The doctor leaned back in her chair, took her glasses off and continued with her questioning. "Jordanna, did you have a different partner every night while you were on the road?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Did you ever consider seeing any of these people again?"

Jordanna ran her hand through her long mane of hair. "I did with one or two, but in total, no, I was usually finished with someone after one time."

"Have you ever had a long lasting relationship?"

The drummer laughed. "I was with my last lover for over two years, but we never saw each other cause I was either on the road or living here on the Island in my off time. She lives in California."

The doctor gave Jordanna one of her best fake doctor smiles. "How long have you two been together?" the doctor asked, meaning her and Rebecca.

Jordanna looked at the reporter. "What has it been, three whole weeks now?"

"Three weeks?" the doctor said in a shocked voice. "You two seem like you know each other forever."

"It feels that way to me, too," the drummer said. "I have never felt this comfortable with someone so quickly."

"Just a few more questions, Jordanna. Then I'll have Brenda set up another appointment the same time next week so we can continue. Is that good for you?"

"I'll have to check my schedule first," the dark-haired woman said. "I'll call if I can't make it."

The doctor nodded. "Okay, just a few more and then you can go," She picked up her pencil and looked at the paper she was writing on. "Have you ever engaged in homose… oh, I guess this question doesn't really apply with you, does it?"

The drummer smirked. "I guess you should ask if I have engaged in heterosexual activities then," she teased. "Which, yes, I have in case that is a question."

The doctor uncharacteristically smiled. "Are you satisfied?"

"Satisfied with sex?" Jordanna felt Rebecca flinch at the question and she gave her hand a squeeze. "I, uh… when I'm with Rebecca, yes, but before I met her, definitely not. I always wanted more, something new and different."

"This is the last one," the doctor said when she finished scribbling on the paper and then paused. "Have you ever tried to or entertained the thought of committing suicide?"

"Yes," Jordanna answered solemnly and then she closed her eyes.

Rebecca grabbed her by the arm. "You thought about it or tried to?"

"Tried it, Rebecca… but obviously I failed. I guess your Private Investigator friend must have missed that little piece of info in his investigation of me, huh?" Jordanna said, sounding a bit more sarcastic than she had meant to be.

The doctor cleared her throat and the two women turned their attention to her. "Jordanna, I am not going to lie to you, you have a very long road ahead of you but I think you know that already, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Recovery isn't easy nor does it happen overnight. You have to be willing to make it happen and from what I've seen and heard from you today, Jordanna, I think you are willing to make it happen. Plus," the doctor said, turning her gaze to Rebecca, "You have so much to gain if you do."

The dark-haired woman looked at her lover and smiled. "That I do."

"You know what you have to do this week to get your recovery started, right?"

The drummer's eyes lost some of their shine. My videos. "I have to do a little house cleaning, don't I?"

"Yes, you do," the doctor answered. "You have to get rid of anything that might tempt you, and those videos and magazines will do just that. I know it will be hard, but let Rebecca help you."

Jordanna stood up and headed for the door with Rebecca following right behind her. "All right," she said. "Thanks, Dr. Rosen."

The doctor followed behind them and started to close her office door when Rebecca turned around to speak to her. Jordanna was already heading to the waiting room to make another appointment. "Doctor? What about sex? Should Jordanna and I um…"

The doctor narrowed her eyes at the reporter. "Continue your normal routine, Rebecca."

Rebecca nodded.

"Denying her a healthy sexual relationship would be damaging to her. As long as you are with her she should be fine. When you are separated for periods of time is the most common time for an addict to lose control." The doctor pulled out a pamphlet and handed it to the reporter. "I want you to read this, Rebecca. It's for the spouses of sex addicts… what to expect, how to handle certain situations that may arise with her."

Rebecca took the pamphlet from her. "Thank you, doctor."


Rebecca waited for the drummer to pull the car out of the doctor's parking lot before she started to ask questions. "Jor?"


"When did you try to kill yourself?"

Jordanna shifted in her seat at the mention of the subject. "Last January."

"Right after the rape charges were dropped?"



"I swallowed a bottle of pills and washed them down with quite a bit of Jack Daniels. Kelly found me and they rushed me to the hospital." She sighed. "They had to pump my stomach. Although I'm sure if you had my medical history checked out it said that I was brought in to the hospital due to malnutrition. Just another lie to cover up something foolish and selfish that I have done."

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"You have to ask that? Rebecca, because of my addiction, I let a 15-year-old fool me into believing that she was an adult and I slept with her! I hated myself so much that I wanted to die, and that was the only way I could think of to make the addiction go away."

"So you knew you had an addiction?"

"I knew it, I just wasn't ready to admit it."

Rebecca couldn't hold her tears in. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm sorry that I had Jim investigate your background. I'm sorry for what you went through," Rebecca admitted and paused. "And I'm most sorry that I didn't know you then, that I wasn't there for you."

Jordanna felt slightly overwhelmed. "I'm just glad you're here for me now, baby." She pulled the car into a spot on the street, thankful for the opportunity to end the depressing conversation about the lowest time of her life. "Ready to shop?"


Hazel eyes watched the drummer and her lover walk out of the doctor's office, get into the red GT, and pull onto the narrow residential street that the doctor's office was located on. The stalker waited for the drummer to make a right onto the main road before putting the car into drive and doing the same. The stalker was thankful that Jordanna had purchased a bright colored car because it was easy to spot. Following a couple of cars behind, the driver pulled the black BMW into a vacant parking space next to the sidewalk after the drummer did the same a little further up the road.

The couple exited the car and strolled along the sidewalk on Main Street, unaware that they were being watched. The drummer walked slightly behind her partner, and put her hand on the small of her back as they walked through the door of a trendy clothing store. Through the window it was visible to see the dark-haired woman standing near her lover while she looked at clothes. Moments and a few words later, the drummer threw her hands in the air in defeat and then turned and walked away from the smaller woman. She walked up to the shop's clerk, handed her a credit card, said a few words and then walked out of the shop.

Jordanna stopped to put her sunglasses on in the shop's doorway, and her gaze went in the direction of the BMW, lingering there for a minute before she turned and went in a deli a couple stores down from the clothing store. Hazel eyes watched as the tall woman stopped to talk to a couple of people that flagged her down in the store's doorway before she walked out of view. Fifteen minutes later she emerged from the deli with a bag in her hand, which she put in the car before going back into the store in search of her lover.

The stalker lowered the passenger side window. The two women walked out of the store, hands full with bags.

"What did you get?" the tall woman asked.

"I'm not telling. You can't see what I am wearing until tonight."

I wonder where they are going tonight? I guess I'll just have to follow them and find out now, won't I?

A dazzling smile flashed across the drummer's face. "I thought I would only have to go through that on our wedding day."

The stalker watched as the reporter's face took on a stunned look. Just as stunned as the face that was watching them.

Wedding day? The bitch is happy. Well, I can't have that. I was happy once and you took all of that away. Now it's going to get taken away from you, Blue.


Jordanna followed Rebecca through the front door, carrying most of the bags of items Rebecca purchased, but not the one containing the outfit she was planning on wearing that night. They walked into the living room and she dropped all of the bags on the couch.

"C'mon… what did you get?" the drummer said, pulling the bag out of Rebecca's hand and holding it over her head so it was out of the reach of the smaller woman.

"Hey." The reporter jumped up to try to get the bag back. "Gimme that, Jordanna. You have to learn a little patience. By the way, what are you wearing tonight?"

"You'll see later," the drummer said before she stuck her tongue out at her lover.

"Hey, I expect you to utilize that muscle tonight, so don't tire it out just yet, Jordanna."

"You don't have to worry about that. It's in top form," the drummer teased, wiggling the body part in question provocatively at Rebecca.

The reporter felt a jolt of desire shoot right to her center. "God, stop that, Jor…" the reporter mumbled breathlessly. "Now gimme my bag."

Jordanna rolled her eyes and handed Rebecca the bag. "We better get showered and dressed otherwise we will be late for our date," she said smiling, feeling like a teenager again.

The drummer followed Rebecca up the stairs and went into her bedroom. She had planned on wearing her leather miniskirt, but changed her mind at the last minute as she was flipping through the clothes in her closet, deciding to wear a black designer pantsuit instead. After she finished her shower, she got dressed and she tied her hair back into a ponytail, applying the slightest bit of makeup to her face. She looked into the mirror one last time and headed downstairs to wait for Rebecca.

Sitting on a chair in the hallway, the drummer looked up when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It seemed as if it took Rebecca about an hour to come into view, and the drummer could feel her heart pounding hard in anticipation of what she was about to see.

The dark-haired woman's breath caught when she took in the sight of her lover, who was wearing a form fitting black dress that took the drummer's breath away. "You look absolutely beautiful Rebecca," the drummer said, and started to rise to help Rebecca into her coat.

"Thank you." Rebecca held out a gold chain. "Could you help me with this?"

Jordanna set Rebecca's coat down and smiled as she took the chain in her hand, realizing it was the pearl from that kiosk at Sea World. "Sure, baby, I forgot about this."

She pushed Rebecca's long hair to the side and placed the chain around Rebecca's neck. "You take my breath away," she whispered into her lover's ear as she did the clasp on the necklace. She placed a few small kisses on Rebecca's neck and then moved away from her lover, circling her so she could look at her with the necklace on. "So beautiful…" she whispered, and helped Rebecca into her coat.

Jordanna put her leather jacket on and then held out her hand for the young woman to take.

Rebecca graciously accepted Jordanna's hand, and the two walked out of the house into the night. The reporter couldn't get over how different her lover looked in the suit she was wearing and couldn't help staring at her partner.

"What?" the dark-haired woman said, noticing the reporter's gaze.

"I hope you don't get insulted by this, but you look so um… handsome tonight, Jordanna," Rebecca answered. "And beautiful of course…" she continued, her face beginning to blush.


"Yeah…. I mean that in a good way."

Jordanna chuckled. "I'm not insulted. I don't mind being your main man," she said with a smile. "I had every intention of wearing my leather mini for you tonight but this outfit called to me when I saw it hanging there. I don't know why."

"Well, I'm glad," Rebecca said. Jordanna opened the car door for her lover and waited for her to climb in. "I like it."

Chapter 23

"This place must be nice in the summer," the reporter commented, as Jordanna backed the GT into a parking spot near the side of the bar. The bar, aptly titled 'Crooked Hill, ' was a small refurbished home located on oceanfront property that was nestled comfortably between two hotels.

They could hear the muffled sounds of the loud music as they got out of the car, and Rebecca could feel her stomach starting to knot at the thought about going to her first women's bar.

Jordanna noticed that the reporter was nervously playing with the strap on her purse. "There are other clubs around here Rebecca. Do you want to go somewhere else- a regular bar? I just figured that this would be the best place for us to come if we wanted to dance, you know… together."

The reporter closed her eyes at the thought. "Nope, I've been wanting to dance in your arms all day. I just, well… I just really don't know what to expect to see in there," the reporter admitted.

"Well, this to me is the worst part," the drummer said as she pulled the front door open and let Rebecca walk in before her. She put her arm around the reporter as they walked in, and all eyes turned their way to check out who was coming through the door.

"Oh God, I see what you mean," Rebecca said, trying to avoid all the eyes that were fixed on her and her lover. "I feel like I am on display big time."

Jordanna chuckled and took the reporter's hand, quickly leading her down the back stairs to the second dance floor. "You ready to be on display again?"

Rebecca took a deep breath. "Yeah. As ready as I'll ever be."

They walked through the door that lead to the lower level and for the second time, all eyes turned to them. Rebecca watched as some of the women recognized Jordanna, and pointed her out to friends. You can look all you want ladies, but she's mine. ALL MINE.

The drummer leaned down and asked Rebecca what she wanted to drink, and suggested that the reporter snag a table for them to sit at, preferably in the corner for privacy. The dark-haired woman let go of her lover's hand as they went their separate ways.

Jordanna could see that Kristin, the club's long time bartender, had seen her and was waiting for her to approach the bar. "Oh my God, look what the cat dragged in… it's been a while since we've seen you here, Jordanna," the bartender said as Jordanna walked up and leaned against the bar. She looked the dark-haired woman over up and down. "You're looking good."

"Just finished a 14 month tour," the drummer replied. "Haven't been home much."

Kristin leaned forward to whisper in the drummer's ear. "No strippers here tonight, only on Saturdays now."

"I'm not here to see them, Kristin," the drummer said dryly.

'She looks like Jordanna, sounds like Jordanna… Hmmm, must have been abducted by aliens,' the bartender thought to herself. "So, who is the babe in the black dress that you came in with?"

Jordanna raised an eyebrow and looked over to where Rebecca was sitting, and noticed another woman sitting much too close to Rebecca for her comfort. She's mine bitch, so you just better back the fuck away from her, if you know what's good for you.

"That's my lover," she said, her lip curling slightly as she spoke. "And that woman better remove herself from her presence before I get back."

"What happened to Susan?"

"Kicked her out of my house."

"And this is your new little um… flavor of the day?"

"No, Rebecca's the real deal, Kristin. I love her."

Not here to see the strippers… she's in love… definitely abducted by aliens.

"Looks like that woman's got her eyes on her, too, Jordanna."

The dark-haired woman looked back at the table again, and the woman was sitting even closer to Rebecca then before. She grazed her hand across the reporter's thigh. "That's it, call the coroner, Kristin, she's a dead woman."

Kristin was used to seeing the flirtatious side of the drummer and laughed at seeing the jealous side of the dark-haired woman. "This is a switch."

"What's a switch?" the drummer inquired.

"Usually you are the one flirting with someone else's partner, how does it feel to be on the other end this time?" the bartender teased.

The drummer narrowed her eyes at Kristin. "Ask her…" she said, pointing to the woman sitting next to Rebecca, "…how it feels when I knock her from one end of the bar to the other."

Kristin laughed and pulled out a Michelob for the drummer, placing it on a napkin in front of her. "What can I get for your lover?"

Jordanna threw money down on the bar. "White wine."

"Coming up…"

The woman was still sitting next to Rebecca when Jordanna approached the table. She set their drinks down and gave the intruder a menacing stare.

"Jordanna, this is Carol," the reporter said nervously, introducing the woman to the drummer. Jordanna nodded at the woman.

"You're Jordanna Fox," she said emphatically.

The drummer controlled herself from rolling her eyes and decided to be gracious. "Yep, that would be me. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone with my partner." How's that for gracious?

"Oh… sorry." The woman stood up and shook Rebecca's hand. "It was nice meeting you Rebecca… Jordanna," she said, turning to face the drummer before leaving to join her friends at another table.

Jordanna sat down in the seat that the woman had just vacated and took a long pull on her beer. "She hit on you?"

"Yep," Rebecca said, fighting to hold back a smile at seeing Jordanna in such a jealous state. "That she did."

Jordanna straightened up in her chair, and turned around to look for the woman who just left the table. Rebecca put her hand on Jordanna's. "It's okay… please don't do anything. She didn't know I was here with you."

"Sure she did." Jordanna sat back down in the chair and relaxed. "Bitch."

The reporter laughed and took in her surroundings, thinking about how if someone would have told her two months ago that she would be at a women's bar with her rock star lover… female rock star lover, she would have laughed in their face.

The club had three dance floors. There was a small one on the main level when they walked in. Most of the room on that level was filled with pool tables. The largest of the dance floors was on the one they were at currently, which was downstairs. The third dance floor was outside on a deck overlooking the ocean. That floor, of course, was closed for the winter months. Jordanna had told her during their Mexican dinner that it was really a nice place to dance, but the club had a problem with the vacationers coming too close to the building, yelling insults and obscenities at the women, making it uncomfortable and difficult to hear the music at times.

Rebecca's eyes took in the all the women on the dance floor, some moving seductively with their partners and others just dancing to have a good time. Behind the dance floor was a small stage that was bare. "Um… no band tonight?" she asked the dark-haired woman, who was busy running her hand along Rebecca's thigh under the table.


Rebecca looked at the stage. "No band playing tonight?"

"Oh, uh, they only have bands here during the summer, and they play outside on the deck. That stage is for the strippers that they have," the drummer explained, her face starting to blush.

"Strippers? Do I even have to ask whether you watched them or not?"

"Rebecca…" Jordanna shook her head and laughed softly. "I think the only question would be is whether I took them to the pay by the hour down the road or not."

"I don't want to know," the reporter said, feeling a hand move to caress the inside of her thighs. She shuddered and took a sip of her wine, returning her gaze to the dance floor. "Dance with me?"

The drummer set her beer down on the table, stood up and took off her jacket to reveal the sleeveless red tank top that she was wearing under the black jacket. She held out her hand for the reporter to take. "I'd be honored." Rebecca held on to Jordanna's hand tight as they made their way through the crowd to the dance floor. Both women heard Jordanna's name being said throughout the night as people spotted her, and there was no exception when they hit the dance floor.

The song that had been playing when they first started to walk to the floor ended, and a more upbeat tune that Jordanna immediately recognized as LL Cool J's 'Mama said knock you out' came blasting out of the speakers.

"How do you dance to this?" the reporter asked, very unsure of herself. Jordanna moved behind her lover, put her hands on Rebecca's hips and began to ground her groin area into the reporter's backside to the beat of the song.

"Oooh, I like that," Rebecca said out loud, hoping her lover could hear her. She did. Jordanna ground herself against her lover even harder than before, feeling a slow fire begin to burn within her.

Wanting to get in on the action, the rest of the crowd followed suit and soon they were all doing the same moves. Rebecca laughed as she thought about what the drummer had said when she was looking through her CD collection. "So… uh, rap really is good to dance to," she yelled to her lover.

The dark-haired woman smirked. "You think so?"

"Oh, yeah…" the reporter answered. Just ask my throbbing center.

"Told you so."

The song wound down and a slower tune came on. Jordanna remained behind the reporter, and she wrapped her arms around her waist and began to sway slowly with the music, singing the song that was playing into Rebecca's ear.

…You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'll be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much

Now that love has arrived

I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you…

Rebecca lost herself in the sound of her lover's voice and melted into the feel of the dark-haired woman's body pressing against her… her hands caressing her thighs… her breath on her neck… the smell of her perfume.

Oh God, this is bliss.

So absorbed in each other, neither woman noticed that Lauryn Hill's voice was no longer heard and Jordanna was singing the song acapella, and that they were the only ones on the dance floor. The patrons of the club recognized a special moment when they saw one and quietly left the dance floor to listen to the high profile drummer sing the words that she wished she'd written to her lover, because she felt them with all of her heart.

…I need you baby

And if it's quite all right

I need you baby

To warm the lonely nights

I love you baby

Trust in me when I say okay…

Jordanna lost sight of everything around her, and she dove headfirst into everything that was Rebecca. She knew now, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that her life would be lost without the reporter in it.

…Oh pretty baby

Don't let me down I pray

Oh pretty baby

Now that I found you stay

And let me love you

Baby let me love you oh baby…

She took the reporter's hand, spun her around so that they were facing each other and then blue eyes met green. Rebecca wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and slowly freed Jordanna's hair from the confines of the ponytail, and watched it fall around the woman's shoulders. The drummer pulled her lover close, and she caressed Rebecca's cheek with her fingers before she leaned down for a gentle kiss.

"Move in with me?" the drummer asked when the kiss ended, surprised when she heard her own voice say the words, knowing she was setting herself up for a very big fall.

Did I just say that?

Rebecca looked up at the drummer with a shocked look on her face, unsure of what her lover had just said to her.

Did I hear her right?

"What did you just say?" she asked, wanting to confirm whether she really did need to have her hearing checked or not.

"I… I asked you to move in with me," the drummer repeated, blushing profusely.

That's what I thought she said.

"Yes," the reporter answered, never hesitating for a moment. A smile lit up the drummer's face and Rebecca's heart swelled, knowing that she was the cause of the beautiful smile.

"Oh God," the drummer whispered, burying her head in Rebecca's hair. She picked the reporter up and kissed her. She kissed her with a passion and a love so strong that she thought she would pass out from it. When they broke apart, Rebecca whispered in her ear. "Take me home, Jordanna."


Dozing from sitting in the driver's seat of the black BMW for so long, the stalker was jolted alive when laughter was heard from patrons leaving the bar. Eyes caught sight of the two women; one dressed in a black suit and the other in a form fitting black dress.

You have excellent taste in women Jordanna, I must admit.

They were both laughing and walking hand in hand to the red sports car.

They look really happy. I wonder what that is all about?

The stalker snorted when the couple got in the car and kissed each other like two teenagers in heat.

Get a motel room, geez…

Eyes watched the GT pull out of its parking spot and make its way onto Montauk Highway. The BMW got into place two cars behind the GT and followed it until it made the quick left onto the private drive that Jordanna's house was located on. The BMW slowed briefly, watching the red car until its taillights were out of sight before speeding up and heading West.

Chapter 24

"Let it ring," the dark-haired woman said gruffly. "The machine will pick it up." She started to return to the task she was performing before the rude interruption. "Now, baby… what were we doing?"

"You were right here." Rebecca tangled her hands in inky black hair and pulled her lover's mouth down to her nipple.

"Pick up the phone, Jordanna. I know that you are there… I heard you making your little blonde girlfriend squeal like a pig. You both look so beautiful when you are in the throes of passion."

"Who the hell is that?" the reporter asked, shocked at the muffled, yet distinguishable words she just heard on the drummer's answering machine.

"Fuck!" The dark-haired woman jumped out of the bed and picked up the phone. "Who the fuck are you?"

Rebecca watched her lover's eyes as they scanned the room, looking for any sign of an intruder. She opened up her closet and grabbed the first pair of jeans she could find and somehow managed to get them on without dropping the phone.

"Oh, don't cover up that sexy body on my account, Jordanna…"

"What the fuck do you want from me?" the drummer snarled. She reached into the back of her closet and grabbed a box that was similar to the one that Rebecca had dropped, pulling out its contents. Rebecca gasped when she saw the drummer pull out a gun and load the clip into it before she did the same to a second gun that had seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. She slipped them both down the back of her jeans.

"I see you are bringing out a piece of your past… Blue," the muffled voice said. "You thought you buried that past, didn't ya?"

"What exactly…" Jordanna paused, "…do you want from me?" She pulled a thin white tee shirt over her head, not caring that it was winter and she didn't have a bra on.

"I want you to experience what I experienced all those years ago… Prepare to watch your girlfriend die right in front of your eyes and then maybe, if you are a good girl, maybe I'll put you out of your misery."


"I'm going to kill you, you fucking son of a bitch," the drummer screamed as she slammed the phone down. "Stay here, Rebecca… I have to check the house."

"But… wait…" Rebecca watched her lover leave the room. "Please be careful." I just found you, I can't lose you.

Jordanna slowly walked the halls of her home, keeping close to the walls. 'I can't believe I'm playing fucking cops and robbers,' she thought as she made her way through all the rooms on the second floor. Using a gun as a scare tactic during a drug buy was a lot different than sneaking around trying to apprehend a stalker, one that she wasn't even sure was in the house. For some reason, and one that she couldn't explain, she felt at ease with the situation though. The only thing she didn't feel at ease with was the fact that she didn't have Rebecca in her line of vision, and she considered going back for her. Deciding to move ahead, she checked each room and closet but found nothing.

Feeling pretty safe that no one was in the house, she went back to her bedroom to check on her lover. Rebecca, who had dressed quickly when the drummer was on the phone with the stalker, ran into her arms. "Are you okay? What's going on, Jordanna?"

Jordanna held on to the reporter tight and looked around the room, figuring that there had to be a video camera hidden somewhere. "It was another threatening phone call."

"I figured that out. But why the gun?"

"Because," the drummer explained, "Whoever it is knew what we were doing."

"Don't you think that could have been an easy guess though? We haven't exactly been keeping our relationship a secret."

"Rebecca, the person could see us. They knew we were making love and they saw when I put my jeans on… and pulled out the gun. You can't see into the house from outside, which you know already, so I figured the person was either in the house or there's a camera in the room."

Rebecca moved away from her lover and sat down on the bed. "What are we going to do, Jordanna?"

The dark woman took her lover's hand and grabbed their jackets. "C'mon," she said, leading the reporter down the stairs quickly and out of the house. She stopped Rebecca from going any further than the door and took a quick look around to determine whether it was safe or not. Not seeing anything suspicious looking, she went back for Rebecca and they continued out the door. "Do you know how to use a gun, Rebecca?"

Rebecca didn't answer her right away as they walked down the boardwalk to the beach and strolled by the ocean. It was the middle of the night, and the moonlight was reflecting off the water. Rebecca found the sounds of the crashing waves soothing, and wished she could throw the situation into the waves to wash this nightmare away.

"No, I've never used a gun Jordanna," she finally answered. "I could never shoot someone."

Jordanna sighed. "Then I'm taking you to Rachel or Kelly's so you'll be safe."

"No, it's the middle of the night and I am not leaving your side, Jor."

"Rebecca, please don't argue with me on this…"

"What are you planning to do?"

"I honestly don't know," the dark-haired woman admitted. She picked up a broken shell and threw it into the tide. "Fuck! I can't believe this. This is all my fault," the dark woman said, stopping to watch the shell hit the water with a splash and then make its descent to the bottom of the angry Atlantic.

Rebecca put her hand on the drummer's arm. "Don't say that, Jordanna."

"But it's the truth, Rebecca. This all has to do with my past… and I've put you at serious risk. I should have been up front with you about this from the beginning, but no… I was my usual selfish self and had to have something that I've never had before and put you in danger by doing that."

"It wouldn't have changed anything. I'd still be here with you… by your side, you know that by now, don't you?"

Jordanna looked into Rebecca's eyes. "I think I do," she said, her own eyes welling with tears. "You know, tonight was such a special night for me, I can't tell you how happy you made me when you said yes."

"Probably about as happy as you made me when you asked me," Rebecca answered, tears forming in her own eyes. She reached up and put her hand behind the drummer's head, and pulled her down to her. Their lips met and all was forgotten for that brief time, when the bond of their love took over and hit them like a 2x4.

"Um… I think we better figure out what to do about this jackass soon because I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, Jordanna. No one, and I mean no one," she said, wrapping her arms tightly around her lover's waist. "Is taking this away from me."

The drummer shook her head in agreement, too choked up to speak.

They stood like that in each other's arms for a few minutes, taking the time to spend together and collect their thoughts. Rebecca spoke first, breaking the silence. "Are you sure this definitely has to do with your past?"

"Yes," the drummer said solemnly. "The person called me Blue. That was what I was known as out on the streets when I was working for Dre. Karla gave me the nickname."

Blue? Rebecca closed her eyes and saw the folded ad from that Strip Club that had fallen out of the box that she knocked down in Jordanna's closet. "Did you say they called you Blue?"

Jordanna looked at her. "Yeah, why?"

"In that box I knocked down there was an ad for a club called the Dollhouse and…"

The drummer didn't let her finish. "There was a dancer named Blue on the ad. Yep, that would be me. I guess I neglected to tell you that I also used to strip for a living, huh?"

"Holy shit, Jordanna!" Rebecca turned her head toward the ocean and laughed… hysterically. "Jesus… is there anything else I don't know about you?"

The dark-haired woman looked down and didn't speak.

You will tell me your little secret, Jordanna, be sure of that. "Okay…" Rebecca paused for effect, knowing that Jordanna wasn't ready to tell her the secret she's been hiding over the years. "Are you sure we just can't call the police?"

"NO! No police, Rebecca," the dark hair woman snapped. She cleared her throat and took the reporter's hand in her own. "Um… I'm sorry, this just has me a bit on edge."

"It's got me a bit on edge, Jor, that's why I thought it would be easier if we just let the police handle it."

"It definitely would be a hell of a lot easier, Rebecca, but I told you that it would probably get me into trouble if the police got involved."

The reporter just shook her head, wondering to herself what her lover could have possibly have done that would get her into trouble with the police. After hearing about her statutory rape arrest, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know. "Um, Jor, does anyone else know what you did?"

The drummer looked out into the waves. "I would assume the person calling has a bit of a clue. For the life of me, I just can't think of who it could be. Everyone I knew from that time is dead now. Dre, Karla… they are both gone, why?"

Rebecca's head shot up. "They are both dead?"

"Yeah… I… uh, Dre was um…" The drummer rubbed her chin nervously. "Well, he was killed in a shootout."

"Dre was the one I read about in that old newspaper article you had in that box?"

"Yeah, he was. Let's walk okay?" the drummer asked, holding her hand out for Rebecca to take. They made their way further along the beach. "I know you want to ask me about my past, so… go ahead, I won't get mad or yell this time."

"Well… I am just a bit curious," the reporter admitted, taking advantage of the drummer's openness. "What happened once you started working for Dre?"

Jordanna stopped and kissed the reporter's hand and the two began walking again, never letting go of each other. "He had me running drugs at first. Pick ups and deliveries. Same thing I did with Karla, only this time I got paid for it."

"Except now you did it by yourself? No backup?" the reporter inquired.

"No. I usually went with Dre," the drummer said hesitantly. "He sorta took a liking to me and wanted to train me himself," she continued.

Rebecca felt a touch of jealousy. "What do you mean he 'sorta' took a liking to you?"

"I was his type…" the drummer said, pausing to scratch her chin. "Sexually speaking of course."

"Oh… of course."

"Rebecca…" Jordanna ran her hand down the reporter's cheek and pulled her into her arms. "That was over 10 years ago, baby."

"I know. It's just… uh, I don't want to be jealous about your past but for some reason I am," the reporter admitted, leaning her head on the taller woman's shoulder.

The drummer chuckled. "You have no reason to be, but it tells me how you feel about me though, and that makes everything that I did and went through worth it. It took meeting you make me realize it," Jordanna said with a smile. "I would be jealous if it was you."

Rebecca lifted her head up and looked into the drummer's eyes. "You would?"

Jordanna kissed her on the forehead. "Yeah, I would." That answer made the reporter smile a smile that would melt the coldest of hearts. "C'mon, lets keep walking and talk. That's if you want to hear the rest of it."

"I do. I want to know everything about you, my love. I can handle it," the reporter said, resuming their walk.

I think.

I hope.

Jordanna hesitated. She took a deep breath and continued. "Well, like I said, Dre took a personal interest in me. First thing he wanted was to make sure that I knew how to handle myself should I get into a sticky situation. Of course, that meant carrying a gun, which obviously was something that I never had the need to do before then. He gave me one of his .38's and took me to a makeshift range in this abandoned warehouse that he had set up. It didn't take long for him to think that I was ready to hit the streets with him. I guess I proved myself to him as time went by and I got more involved in his business."

"When exactly…" Rebecca started to ask before Jordanna finished the question for her.

"Did I get more involved with him personally? Is that what you were going to ask?"

The reporter blushed. She knew it was really none of her business. "Yeah, that's what I was going to ask."

Jordanna smiled and her eyes looked colorless in the moonlight. "Once I started working with Dre I practically lived at his house. I would get calls from him in the middle of the night to go out on runs. So he asked me to move in with him. It only made sense. He knew that I lived with Karla and that we were lovers. Luckily, Karla understood why I had to go."

"I don't know if I would understand," Rebecca admitted. "I wouldn't want you to go."



"Well, she worked for Dre, so she knew how demanding he cold be Rebecca. She could see that he wanted to make me his right hand man, so to speak." The drummer paused. "And she knew that whatever Dre wanted, Dre got so there was no use in fighting it."

The sun was coming up over the horizon and the drummer knew that they had been walking and talking for hours. "You hungry?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess," the drummer said teasingly. "You like pancakes?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Why don't we get a head start on the crowd at John's cause they have awesome pancakes there. If you don't get there early enough, you don't get in sometimes," the drummer said as they turned around to walk back to the house. "The old people that vacation in the area are always up and out early," she said, making a face. "Even in the winter."

"You're going to be that old one day, Jordanna… so don't make fun."

The drummer laughed. "I know that, but I'm hoping that at that age I will still prefer to spend my mornings in bed with the most beautiful woman I know, engaged in other activities," she said with a wink.

"Well, we will find out about that in around 40 or so years, won't we?" Rebecca took her hand. "Knowing you, I don't think you'll ever be too old for that, Jordanna."

The drummer smiled. "I certainly hope not. C'mon, food awaits."


Jordanna pulled the GT into the parking lot at John's and groaned. "It's crowded already, damn…" She spotted one available parking space at the end of the lot. "You wanna go somewhere else or see how long of a wait it will be?"

"Let's see how long of a wait it is. I'm definitely in the mood for pancakes. You said they have all different kinds, right?"

The drummer pulled the car into the spot and then shut the engine. "Yep."

They walked into the restaurant and a tall, dark-haired woman greeted them. "Hey, good looking."

Jordanna rolled her eyes. "Hey, Nancy, how are you doing?"

"Can't complain. Finished with the tour?"

"A few more shows and then a break." She pulled Rebecca close to her. "Nancy, I want you to meet Rebecca, my partner."

The shocked woman held out her hand and Rebecca took it. "Nice to meet you, Rebecca. Just the two of you today?"

"Yeah… in the back, if you have any booths there, please."

The hostess sat them in the last booth in the place and gave them both menus. She started to walk away but then turned around. "Hey, are you guys playing at the ranch concert again this year?"

"From what I heard, yes, I think we were asked to play again this year."

"That's cool. Looking forward to it," Nancy said, and then walked away.

Rebecca reached her hand across the table and put it on her lovers. "Jor?"

"No, I never dated her, Rebecca," the dark-haired woman said and smiled. "Believe it or not."

"How did you know I was going to ask that?"

Jordanna looked her directly in the eyes. "Because I know you, Rebecca."

"Yeah, you do, don't you? I like that." Rebecca smiled. "What's the ranch concert?"

Jordanna passed her a menu. "It's an annual concert they hold here in Montauk every August that Paul Simon organizes. He's a neighbor of mine."


"They clear out this field right here on Montauk Highway for it. They usually have around four or five performers. Billy Joel, another neighbor of mine, usually plays and Paul gets some other guests. It's fun, like one big barbecue with good music."

"I wonder if they will want me to cover it for the magazine?" Rebecca shook her head. "That's if we don't get ourselves killed first."

"We are not going to get killed." Jordanna spoke quietly to her, in a reassuring voice. "We will both be at the concert in August, and when the clock strikes 12:00 on New Years Eve we will be together, okay? I plan on drinking lots of champagne and making love to you all night long to ring in the new millenium." She wiggled her eyebrows. "You can count on that. Unless, of course, there's something else you'd rather do."

"No." Rebecca's eyes closed and she sighed. "That sounds wonderful."

They both sat silently for a while as the waitress took their order and brought them coffee. Rebecca's mind went back to the conversation that they were having about her lover's past. "What happened to Karla?"

The drummer looked away. "She…" She swallowed the lump that quickly formed in her throat. "She was beaten to death by a john." A long pause. "I saw some of it happen."

Rebecca put her hand on Jordanna's face and turned her head towards her so she could look at her. She could clearly see the pain in her lover's eyes. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Jordanna, watching the only person that truly cared for her, at that time, die. "I'm sorry. That must have been a hard thing to see."

"If only I would have gotten there 5 minutes earlier," she mumbled, not explaining what she meant.

Rebecca wondered if her lover was blaming herself for Karla's death. "Jordanna… it's not your fault. You were just a kid, what could you have done?"

"I could have stopped it from happening." A lone tear made its way down her cheek. Rebecca lifted the dark-haired woman's hand and brought it up to her lips.

"Krhm." The waitress cleared her throat before putting their food down on the table. "Banana nut pancakes for you…" she said, placing Rebecca's plate in front of her, "…and chocolate chip pancakes for you. Would you like some more coffee?"

"Yes, please," the dark woman replied. "Thanks."

They ate for a few minutes in silence. Rebecca, as usual, had a million questions running through her mind that she wanted to ask her lover. "Jordanna?"

The dark woman looked up from her plate. "Hmm?"

Rebecca noticed that Jordanna had a little bit of whipped cream from her pancakes on her chin and started to chuckle.


The reporter leaned over the table and tried to nonchalantly remove the whipped cream with a kiss. "Mmm mmm good."

The drummer blushed. "What was that for?"

"You had whipped cream on your face and it looked to delicious to ignore, so…"

"And I'm the one going to a sex therapist?" the drummer asked incredulously.

The reporter laughed. "Well, I didn't do things like this until I met you."

"Yeah, yeah, blame the big bad ole drummer," Jordanna said with a smile.

"You know, I was going to ask you something before I got distracted," the reporter said and then paused. "Oh yeah… what um… what happened to the man that killed Karla? Did he go to jail?"


Jordanna closed her eyes and looked down. "No. They found his severely battered body near Karla's," she said so quietly Rebecca barely knew that she spoke.

The reporter couldn't believe what she thought she had just heard her lover say. Words failed her as she tried to swallow the information. Did she mean what I think she meant?


Jordanna could feel the butterflies in her stomach going wild. This is it. She had to tell her. Say goodbye to the best thing that has ever come into your life, Jordanna. She looked up at the reporter. "Yes."

Rebecca had a horrified look on her face and tears were welling in her eyes. "Oh my God, Jordanna, are you trying to say you've killed somebody?" the reporter asked, her voice getting louder with each word she said because she was upset.

Jordanna placed her hand on the reporters and leaned over the table to whisper to her lover. "Rebecca please… nobody knows about it and I'd like to keep it that way."

The reporter realized that as much as she thought she knew the woman sitting across from her, she really didn't know her at all. There were so many differences between them. So, now I'm sleeping with a murderer. What's the big deal? Doesn't everybody?

The dark woman could see all of the different emotions written across Rebecca's face. "Rebecca, please say something."

Rebecca looked at her blankly. "What?"

"Say something… anything."

"What in the hell do you expect me to say, Jordanna? What does it feel like to beat someone to death?" She snorted. "Give me a damn break, Jordanna… I don't fucking know what to say!"

Seeing the reporter all huffy made Jordanna laugh. "Well, that's a start."

"It's not funny, Jordanna." She gave the drummer a dirty look. "A man is dead."

The drummer glared back at her. "So is my ex-girlfriend," she said gruffly. "Don't forget that." Her voice softened. "When I pulled the scum off of her and saw her bruised and bloody face, Rebecca, I just lost it. I couldn't control my rage." She sighed. "Karla pleaded with me not to kill him and I didn't at first, I just knocked him to the ground unconscious."

The reporter urged her on without saying anything, just by the look in her eyes.

"I went over to Karla to help her. I pulled her into my arms and just tried to comfort her Rebecca. She made me promise not to kill him, and she told me to get out from under Dre's influence before it was too late." She took a sip of her coffee, the liquid soothing her dry mouth. "Here she is, lying there in so much pain near death, worrying about me."

"She told me to take care of myself and then her eyes closed for the final time Rebecca," she continued. "She died right there in my arms. I eased her onto the ground and looked at the man that killed her, remembering the promise I made to her that I wouldn't kill him." The drummer took a deep breath of air, finding the need to supply her pounding heart with extra oxygen. "I couldn't keep that promise."

Rebecca fought the serious urge to hurl everything that she had consumed that morning. For the first time, she didn't want to hear what the drummer was saying. "Let's just go home, Jordanna."

"Oh no, we are not going back to my house, or at least you aren't. Did you forget about the phone call?"

Rebecca stabbed at her pancakes with her fork and pushed them around on her plate. "No, I didn't forget it."

Jordanna felt her hammering heart begin to slow to a normal pace. "I was thinking of renting a room at a hotel maybe away from the East End, somewhere on Central Long Island until I talk to Rachel or Kelly about you staying with them." She finished her coffee and set the cup down. "Although, I would like to go check to see if I can find the camera first."

"Jordanna, I am not leaving you, so forget it. Besides, do you want to put Rachel, Kelly and their families at risk?"

The drummer threw her napkin down on the table. "No, I don't want that." She grabbed the check, left a tip for the waitress on the table and got up. "C'mon, lets go."


The drive back was an extremely quiet one with Jordanna concentrating on the road and Rebecca staring out the window, lost in her own thoughts.

The silent treatment was just about all the drummer could take. She could imagine how Rebecca felt about her at the moment. Hell, she knew how she felt about herself… and it wasn't a good feeling. And Rebecca hasn't even heard the worst of it yet. She herself had learned how to deal with the guilt of her past by covering it up with a different name, a different life, and as she just learned so recently, by taking it out on the innocent women she lured into her bed. She realized that this life that she was thinking about was shallow and lacking without love. Without Rebecca. I can't lose her. I just can't.

Rebecca couldn't help but wonder what she had gotten into by getting involved with Jordanna. To think that she originally thought the woman was your typical arrogant rock star. Well, that made her laugh now. Never did she expect to find out the woman had a sordid past filled with gangs, sex, rape, drugs and violence…

Okay, so the sex she knew about.

But still, she knew in her heart that no matter what Jordanna told her about her past would not lessen the feelings that she had for her. They were real. They were her anchor in this storm. They had to be. She reached over and took Jordanna's hand in her own, and noticed the smile that grew on the drummer's face. Seeing her smile at such a small gesture made Rebecca realize that Jordanna needed her in her life, as much as she needed the drummer. It was as simple as that.

Wasn't it?

Jordanna pulled GT over to the side of the main road near her home. "Stay here," she said, opening the car door. "I'm going to check to make sure the house is safe and then I'll come back for you, okay?"

"Please be careful, Jor."

The dark woman shook her head and winked at Rebecca before she slammed the door shut. "I will."

Rebecca watched as Jordanna pulled her gun out of the back of her jeans and made her way up the private drive. After the drummer was out of sight her thoughts went to the person that was after them.

Was this person really any more dangerous than her lover was?

She nearly jumped through the roof when Jordanna got back in the car, threw something on the back seat and started to drive down the road. "What happened? Where are we going?"

"I found the camera. It was in a vent in the bedroom. It's now in pieces on the back seat," the dark woman explained. "The house was clear otherwise."

"That doesn't explain where we are going, Jordanna."

"I'm going to the police and turning myself in. I thought about it as I was checking the house, Rebecca. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. You shouldn't have to pay for something I did years ago."



"No, damn it, Jordanna, turn the car around. You are not going to turn yourself in." Rebecca cleared her throat and paused. "Losing you would be the worst price that I'd ever have to pay for anything in my life, do you understand that?"

"I have no right to put your life on the line, Rebecca."

"Let me decide that, Jordanna."

"Damn it! Please be reasonable."

"Turn… the… car… around," the reporter growled. "NOW!"

Jordanna almost slammed the car into a pole hearing Rebecca's tone of voice. She's beautiful when she's angry.

"Okay, okay… I'm turning it around." The dark woman drove a few blocks and pulled up at a scenic overlook to turn around.

"It's pretty here," the reporter said to change the subject, noticing the view of the bay.

Jordanna looked out at the scenery that she had seen hundreds of times before in her life. It was, because of Rebecca she realized, the first time she could really appreciate the beauty of it. "Yeah, it is."

Why did this have to happen now that she had found love? She questioned why her past didn't bite her in the ass years ago, when she didn't give a shit about herself or anyone else. No sense in asking why now, a lot of good it will do.



"What are we going to do?"

The drummer let out a deep breath. "Well, we are going to go back to the house and wait. Let the bastard come to us. I really wish you would reconsider staying somewhere else though, baby."

"Nope, forget it. I'm not leaving you, I told you that already."

Continued in Part 8.

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