The sun lowers and the moon is revealed, hiding there all along. The fire is slowly burning out, its light only catching the silver of weaponry and the brass of armor. And Xena is not asleep, though she is very tired. It is a weariness born of turmoil, not of battle...
She listens for the deep breathing of Gabrielle, who is an arm’s length away. But that peaceful sound is not there... Just quiet, shallow intakes of air. She is awake, like myself... This is the time...
Xena feels sweat on her body as nerves fail, leaving this moment to chance. Xena cannot rely on poise or intimidation now. She cannot even rely on knowing Gabrielle’s heart... Because it is possible that those feelings have changed...
Gabrielle keeps her eyes shut, even though sleep is nowhere to be found. At one point, she almost said the words... Almost made the choice to tell Xena that their partnership is over... But then Xena’s eyes were there, waiting. And Gabrielle couldn’t.
Those eyes will be the end of me yet...
Gabrielle is startled by a touch on her arm. She slowly turns around to rest on her back, resisting the urge to move away... and to move closer. Xena is there, looking troubled, looking very much like a confused woman – not the warrior princess of legend.
“You can’t sleep.” Xena says, a statement in the night.
“And neither can you.” Gabrielle responds.
Xena leans toward her and Gabrielle instinctually raises her head, like sleeping beauty to a savior... And Xena places her warm palm against Gabrielle’s cheek.
I can’t do it... I can’t let her go, no matter how much it pains me to stay... I can’t...
“Gabrielle...” Xena is close as she speaks, her breath sliding over Gabrielle’s lips.
“Yes...” And it is not a question, but a plea. Gabrielle feels all her defenses giving way.
Xena had a plan, albeit a haphazard one. Just get close to Gabrielle and tell her the truth... The truth being that I cannot stand to feel this rift and I know why it is there and I am ready to give it all up, all the lovers and the whims of desire... I’ll give it all up for you, Gabrielle. And then... give it all to you, only you.
But, somehow, that is not going to happen. Xena feels something inside settle once her hand is on Gabrielle’s skin. And she is closer than intended already, taking in the smell of the bard and relishing it. Xena knows that her body has one goal and her mind another...
And when Gabrielle speaks, Xena hears all the things underneath that simple ‘yes’. All the want and need in the bard in that one word.
That is when the plan goes to Hades.