I WISHED YOU LOVED ME

SYRO

Disclaimer: These characters are all mine. No need to disclaim them.

Sexual content: Yes, there will eventually be a loving and sexual relationship between people of the same gender. If this offends you or is illegal where you are, please press the back button or move on. If you are under the age of 18, go away until you're old enough.

Violence: None…unless you count inanimate objects.

Language: Mild profanity.

Author’s Note: This story is loosely based on a true story. 

This is also my first attempt at writing so let me know what you think.

Dedications: To Karen. All that I am or ever will be is because of you. All my love always…

Thanks to Jagged Edge for ‘Gotta Be’ and Tynisha Keli and Sammie for ‘I Wished You Loved Me’ lyrics.

Feedback welcome at syro623@yahoo.com


 

"You really need to think about slowing down, J," Sara Spencer says to her best friend Jada Rollins as they lounge out by Jada's pool one day in late August.

Jada rises up on her elbows and looks at Sara with piercing gray eyes. "What do you mean 'slow down'? I'm going slow enough.  I haven't had any meaningful sex all summer, thank you."

Sara rolls her hazel eyes but remains silent. But you have had sex, she thinks, watching the flavor of the day, a petite redhead making her way around the side of Jada's house to leave. Lots of sex, damn it!

Jada raises a perfectly arched raven brow as she watches Sara watch the redhead leave.  "What?  Just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean that I shouldn't be getting laid," Jada says laying back down, shaking her head. 

Sara narrows her eyes at the brunette and shakes her head as Jada puts on her shades, effectively ending the discussion.

"Anyway, Chrys messed me over.  Not the other way around."

"And why did that happen?" Sara asks, discreetly taking Jada's toned caramel body in her black bikini. Oh...my...god!

Jada sighs.  "I told you.  She was experimenting with me and fell in love, I guess. She's bisexual and I told her don't date bisexuals.  I don't date at all."

"But she still wanted to be with you with no plans to be with a man yet?" Sara asks with raised blonde brows.

The brunette nods.  "Yeah...but eventually she'd want permission to fuck a guy and fuck me too.  If I were ever in a relationship, I wouldn't share my pussy."

Sara frowns, slightly. "Thanks for that graphic picture, J" she says standing. She'll never want to be in a relationship with me.

Jada frowns and raises her shades.  Maybe I took it too far. "Where you going?" she asks taking in Sara's green tank top and short blue jean shorts.  Damn, she's gorgeous.

"Inside.  It's getting chilly.  Fall's just around the corner," the blonde says gathering her things, trying to cover her disappointment.

"You're right about that. And after that is Winter and the flu," Jada says standing and gathering her things as well.

"The flu?"

"Yeah.  Every year the hospital's overflowing with people passing the flu around.  I don't see why everyone doesn't just get vaccinated.  At least you're partially protected because the damn strain mutates so much," the brunette says as they walk inside her house.

"No kidding?  The pains of being a nurse, I guess," Sara says smiling and looking around.  "A very successful nurse, I might add."

Jada laughs.  "I’m only 25 years old. I worked hard for this," she says taking Sara's and her things and sitting them on the bar by the patio doors.

Sara sighs.  "I know you did, Jada.  Ever think of finding someone to share it all with?" she asks softly. Someone like me?

Jada studies her face for a long moment then shrugs, looking away. If that someone were you... "If I thought it was worth it, I'd try harder."

"By sleeping with them before you know their last name?"

Jada rolls her slate gray eyes. I hardly remember their first name... "Anyway... Enough about my love life.  How's everything at the bachelorette pad?  Your roommates still giving you grief?" she asks closing the patio doors.

Sara plops down on the floor next to Jada's couch.  She runs her fingers over the plush carpet as Brewskie, Jada's black lab, comes over and sits next to her, putting his head in her lap.  Jada chuckles at his antics.  "Yeah... I'm in the process of looking for somewhere else to live.  Anyplace has gotta be better than there," she says scratching behind Brewskie's ears absently and staring into space.

Jada frowns and kneels next to her, rubbing Brewskie's back.  "That bad?" she asks softly.  Sara shrugs silently and sighs, running her hand through long blonde layered locks. Jada watches every second of that movement and feels a familiar longing inside of her that she noticed months ago.  She's been my friend since childhood.  Losing touch with her for those few years did nothing to hurt our friendship.  In fact, we're closer than ever. She lets her eyes run over Sara's lowered face, unable to see her beautiful hazel eyes under lowered blonde lashes. She sighs, inaudibly. If she only knew how close I really wanted to be, she'd probably run for the hills as fast as she could. But she's my best friend and it's my obligation to help. "You can always stay here, Sara.  It's not like I don't have the room."

Sara looks up at her then, hazel eyes sparkling as a beautiful smile crosses her face.  Jada's heart skipped a beat just knowing she caused it.  "Really?" she asks excitedly.  Jada swallows and shrugs, smiling trying to regain her composure. "You mean it, Jada?" the blonde asks softly.

The brunette smiles warmly and nods.  "You know I do," she says just as softly.

Sara bites her bottom lip, smiling then moves to hug her. "You're the best," she whispers in the brunette's ear. Jada closes her eyes and just holds her, only opening them when Sara pulls away. "I'll pull my own weight.  I promise."

"Don't sweat it."

Sara looks into Jada's eyes for a long moment then hugs her again.  She pulls back, touches the brunette's cheek affectionately, and then stands.  Jada stays put, unable to move, looking up at her.  "Can I grab some things and stay tonight?"

Jada stands with Brewskie following suit.  "Sure. I'll make sure the guest room is ready by the time you get back."

Sara smiles brightly again.  "Ok.  I'll be back," she says going the door.  Jada watches her every move.  Sara turns around at the door and goes back to the brunette, kissing her softly on the cheek. "Thank you so much," she whispers and then leaves out with Jada staring after her, touching the cheek she just kissed.

Brewskie cocks his head, looking up at Jada then whines, bumping her leg.

Jada looks down at him and sighs.  "I know, boy.  I know," she says rubbing his coat and patting his neck.

######

After making sure the guest room and guest bathroom were to her liking, Jada goes into kitchen and starts dinner.  She then changes into some oversized gray sweats and a matching hoodie to compensate for the drop in temperature and takes Brewskie out back past the pool with Frisbee in hand to give him exercise.

Sara comes around the side of the house and watches them in silence.  The smile on Jada's face and the sound of her laughter fills her with all-encompassing warmth.  Times like these, Jada actually let her guard down. Not the angry black woman. No pretending to be tough.  No pretending that nothing hurts her.  Just Jada.

Brewskie's the first to notice her and bounds over to her.  Jada follows him with her eyes and then watches as Sara kneels and scratches him behind the ears.

Sara smiles as Brewskie nudges her with his nose.  "Keep that up and I'm gonna think you want me around here." Brewskie barks and starts to lick her face.  She falls back, giggling.  "Brewskie!  Come on..."

Jada walks up and slaps him on the butt. "Alright. Alright.  Get off her, Brew.  You're gonna run her off before she gets settled good," she says pulling on his collar.  She offers her hand to Sara who gets up laughing.

The blonde rubs his coat.  "Don't be so hard on him.  He can't help he likes pretty girls, huh, big guy?" she asks scratching behind his ears.  Brewskie barks in response.

The brunette chuckles and shrugs.  "At least he's got good taste," she says softly.  Sara cuts her eyes up at her, smiling to herself.  Jada clears her throat when she realizes she said that out loud.  "So, where's your stuff?"

Sara stands and brushes herself off.  "Out front.  I came around cause you didn't answer the doorbell."

Jada nods and pulls on Brewskie's collar.  "Well, let's get you moved in. Come on, boy," she says leading them around the side of the house back to the front.

Sara waits with a couple of bags while Jada opens the door.  Jada hefts the other bags and lets her go in.  Sara goes in and stops abruptly.  "What is that?  What smells so good?" she asks sniffing the air.

Jada laughs and walks around her, heading to the guestroom.  "That's dinner…my mama’s recipe. Thought you might be hungry."

She watches the brunette walk away, watching the sway of her hips and the curve of her ass even in the sweats.  "I am," she mutters to herself.

Sara sits back in her chair and pats her stuffed belly, smiling. Jada chuckles and shakes her head.  “That was so good, Jada.  I had no idea you could cook so well.”

“I have many skills,” the brunette smirks, shrugging.

Sara narrows her eyes at that comment.  Oh, I bet you do…

“I don’t do this on a regular basis, though.”

Sara frowns, slightly.  “You don’t cook on a regular basis?”

Jada shakes her head and stands, starting to remove their dirty dishes.  “No, I cook for myself all the time.  I just don’t cook for other women on a regular basis.”

Sara watches her in a slightly stunned silence.  I knew that much. She’s certainly not the one to show her feelings for a girl like this. She clears her throat.  “So, this was just a ‘Welcome to my home’ dinner?”

The brunette looks back at her curiously.  “No… This was an ‘I’m glad you’re here’ dinner,” she says softly as she loads the dishes in the dishwasher.

The blonde brings their used glasses over.  “I’m glad I’m here too,” she says touching Jada’s lower back.

Jada smiles to herself and the closes the dishwasher.  She turns to Sara and decides to broach the subject that has been on her mind since she offered to let Sara move in.  “You know, Sara… I’m more than capable of handling things around here fairly easily.  If you need time to regroup, you have it.  You have enough to worry about with finishing school…”

Sara tilts her head, frowning slightly.  “You mean mooch?” she asks folding her arms.

The brunette raises a brow.  “It’s not mooching if I offer.  Get a part-time job if you want, but I’m in the position to help you right now.  Just let me, ok?” she asks with raised brows.

The blonde studies her feet for a while, frowning with the brunette watching her the whole time. I really do need to concentrate on school.  My grades have slipped some since living with those jerks.  She glances up at Jada to see her studying her. She doesn’t even know how much her willingness to help me means to me.  If she won’t let me pitch in, I’ll just make sure things around here are perfect for her. Sara sighs and looks up at her through her long blonde lashes.  “Are you sure it won’t be a burden?”

Jada smiles, brightly. “I’m sure. If our situations were reversed, you’d help me, right? Brewskie costs more to feed than anything you could possibly do, anyway.”

Sara laughs and nods once, cementing the deal.  “Ok.”

“Ok,” Jada says smiling her crooked half smile.  Sara smiles back at her and moves into her arms and hugs her.  Jada sighs and closes her eyes, holding Sara close. “Better be careful.  I’m starting to get very used to this.”

Sara pulls away, blushing and moves her hair behind her ear.  “Sorry,” she says softly, looking down.

Jada shakes her head and raises the blonde’s chin, smiling tenderly.  “You know I don’t mind.” Sara smiles, biting her bottom lip shyly and looking down. Jada stares at her.  God, when did she get so beautiful? She sighs…again and takes a step back, shaking her head to clear it and leans against the counter.  “All done unpacking?”

Sara looks up into clear slate gray eyes and swallows hard.  I remember the first time I met her.  Those eyes against that caramel skin is what I noticed first…and those perfect eyebrows…and that perfect mouth with those full perfect lips, she thinks to herself as her eyes unconsciously follow her thoughts. One of those eyebrows rising slightly at her. Shit! She asked me something.  What was the fucking question? Oh yeah…  “A-Almost. It’s always so pretty in there.  I don’t want to ruin it with my stuff.”

The nurse touches her forearm. “Hey, that’s your room, now.  You’re free to decorate it anyway you want.”

“Ok,” the student says softly.

Jada straightens up off the counter and sighs…again. Damn, I’m doing that a lot lately.  “I’m gonna take Brewskie out for the night and get him settled…”

“Yeah…I’m gonna take a shower and try to get some studying in.”

Not even gonna go there. “All right.  Brewskie?  Come here, boy!” she calls out to him.  Brewskie comes trotting in.  “Wanna go for a run?  Huh, boy?” Brewskie barks, raring up on his hind legs, wagging his tail.

Sara giggles.  “Sounds like a yes to me.”

Jada laughs.  “Definitely.  See you later, ok?”

Sara nods, watching as Jada and Brewskie leave out the front door and releases a big breath. Why can’t she see that I care for her…have always cared for her?  She goes to the phone and calls her mother.  “Hey, ma.”

“Hey, sweetheart! How’s my little one?”

“I’m good,” she says quietly as she leans back into the pillows on the couch.

“Then why don’t you sound like it?”

Sara shrugs.  “I don’t know…”

“You do know, sweetie.  That’s why you called.  You know you can talk to me.”

The blonde nods, unseen.  “I moved out.”

“It’s about time.  You were miserable there.  So, where did you go?  Got your own place?”

“No…Jada let me stay with her till I save some money to get my own.”

“Jada?  Dorothy Rollins’ daughter?  The nurse?”

“Yes, ma’am…”

“The same Jada you’ve been in love with since you were little?”

 “The very same.  She’s so good to me, Ma.  It’s like we weren’t even apart those few years I was out west with Dad.  And she’s so beautiful.  Have you seen her lately?”

Her mom chuckles.  “No, not recently.  Why don’t you fill me in?”

Sara closes her eyes, picturing Jada’s face.  “Same raven hair.  It’s a bit longer now than she used to wear it and wavy.  Same beautiful slate gray eyes. Same creamy caramel skin. She smiles at me and it takes my breath away, Moma.  She has no idea what she does to me.”

“Why don’t you tell her, honey?”

“Oh my god! I could never ever tell her!  I don’t want to lose her! I mean, what would she want with me anyway? She’s gorgeous.  She could have anyone she wanted,” she says dejectedly.

Mom sighs.  “Well, is she seeing anyone?”

“No.” Just screwing redheads.

“Has she expressed interest in anyone in particular?”

“No, not really.”

“Then what makes you think you don’t have a chance? You are a very beautiful woman, Sara.  You have so much to offer.”

Sara smiles, blushing.  “You’re my mother.  You’re supposed to say that.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true, now does it?”

Sara sighs.  “Guess not.”

“Then show her what she’s missing.”

“Huh?”

“You’re her best friend, right? Who better than you know what she needs?”

Sara sits up, a slow smile covering her face.  “You may be on to something there, Ma.”

Mom laughs.  “You two come and visit your mothers soon, ok?”

“We will. Thanks, Ma.  I love you.”

“Love you, too, hon.”

Sara hangs up with a determined glint in her eye and a smile on her face.  Show her what she’s missing…

######

Jada comes into her house a bit concerned.  Over the last couple of weeks, Sara’s made it a point to call Jada at work before she leaves.  Sometimes just to know she’s on her way.  Other times to see what her plans were.  Today, she didn’t call.  Jada cocks her head, frowning slightly as she sits her briefcase and keys down.  Her backpack is in the same place it was this morning when I left.  She moves closer to the couch and smiles slightly when she sees Sara’s feet dangling over the side. She kneels next to the blonde.  Sara’s long blonde hair is lying across her face that’s facing Jada.  God, she’s beautiful. She moves to take off Sara’s Doc Martens and socks and lets her gaze travel up jean clad, muscular legs, up over a flat abdomen and full breasts covered by an off the shoulder yellow blouse with a white tank top underneath.  She tears her gaze away from Sara’s chest to stare back at her face.  Only then does she notice how flushed Sara’s skin is.  She frowns and moves the blonde hair out of Sara’s face, feeling her forehead.  Jesus! She’s burning up!  Switching into nurse mode, she checks her breathing and notes that her respirations are shallow and rapid. “Oh god…  Sara? Wake up,” she says shaking her gently.  Sara groans softly in her sleep.  Jada shakes her a little harder.  “Come on, Sara.  I need you to wake up, sweetheart,” she says unaware she let the endearment slip out.

Sara blinks heavy lids awake and focuses on Jada’s face.  “Jada?” she asks softly.

The nurse smiles sympathetically at her. “Hey,” she whispers.

The blonde stares up into soft gray eyes.  “I don’t feel so good, Jada,” she whispers.

Jada sighs.  “I know, baby.  You’ve got a pretty high fever, I think.  Listen, I need to get you into bed and out of these clothes.  I don’t know exactly how bad it is yet.  Do you hurt anywhere?”

Sara nods.  “All over,” she whispers, closing her eyes.  Jada caresses her cheek, sympathetically.  Sara looks back up at her.  “It’s the flu, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.  Sounds like it,” Jada whispers, looking into her eyes.

Sara groans. “Great,” she mumbles pouting.

Jada chuckles and moves to slip one arm under Sara’s legs and the other behind her back.  The blonde looks at her questionably.  “Just hold onto me, ok?  Don’t be afraid.  I’m stronger than I look,” she says soothingly.  Sara wraps her arms around Jada’s neck as the brunette stands with her in her arms.  “I’ve gotta get you cooled off,” she says feeling the amount of heat radiating off the little blonde in her arms.

“But I’m cold, Jada.”

“I know, honey, but you gotta trust me to take care of you, ok?” the brunette asks softly as she carries the blonde to the guestroom.

Sara buries her face in Jada’s neck and nods, smiling.  Sweetheart? Baby? Honey? Carrying me to my room?  I could get so used to this!

Jada sits her down on the bed.  “Hang on one sec, ok?” she asks going into the bathroom to get the thermometer.  She comes back and kneels in front of the blonde.  “Let’s get your temp.,” she says placing it in Sara’s mouth, under her tongue.  The nurse sighs and moves Sara’s hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears.  “I should’ve been paying more attention.  I can’t believe I let you get sick,” she says shaking her head, clearly upset with herself.

Sara touches Jada’s hand.  Jada looks into glazed hazel eyes.  Sara shakes her head, shrugging slightly.

“Stop blaming myself?” Jada asks with raised brows.  Sara nods, eyes smiling as the thermometer beeps.  “Ok,” Jada says smiling at her as she removes the thermometer.  She checks it and shakes her head.  “102.4 already.” Shit. She sighs and runs her fingers through her own long wavy raven hair. She goes and gets 2 extra strength Tylenol and a glass of water and comes back kneeling in front of the blonde.  “First things first.  I need to try and get this fever down and keep it that way. Your body is trying to fight off an infection, that’s why you have the fever.  Take these for me and drink all the water.  You need fluids more than ever now,” she says handing them to her.

“Ok,” Sara says quietly as she takes the medicine and downs the water.

Jada watches, frowning in concern when she sees how much effort it’s taking her to hold the glass.  She takes it when the blonde finishes and sits it on the nightstand.  “Next, we’ve gotta get you cooled down.  You need to get out of these clothes...”

Sara looks down. I’m so weak. “Can…can you help me? I don’t think I have the energy…”she says looking away.

Jada closes her eyes for a moment to get her heart that was about to beat out her chest, under control.  She needs your help.  You can do this. “I can help you, honey.  No problem.” She reaches for the hem of Sara’s yellow shirt.  Sara looks at her and raises her arms over her head.  Jada pulls the shirt over her head and tosses it in a chair, noticing for the first time that Sara isn’t wearing a bra under the undershirt. The brunette blushes and moves to unbutton the blonde’s jeans. She takes a steadying breath, trying to stop her hands from shaking.

Sara watches the brunette from beneath blonde lashes as Jada peeks up at her through long raven lashes as she lowers the zipper.  Sara closes her eyes and bites her lip to stifle a moan as Jada slips her hands inside her jeans to her hips. Jesus, she’s gonna kill me.

Jada is very careful to keep her hands from caressing the soft, hot skin beneath her hands. She clenches her teeth to stifle a moan of her own when she realizes that her hands cover the straps of Sara’s thong underwear.  “Sara…I-I need you to…uh…raise up so I can…”she stammers, blushing.

Sara opens her eyes and studies Jada’s flushed face.  I’m not imagining her attraction to me.  I’m not that sick, am I? “Sorry,” she whispers, rising up on her hands.  Her breathing hitching then increasing dramatically when she feels Jada’s hands slide slowly down the length of her thighs and calves to take off her jeans.

Jada watches in rapt attention as more and more deliciously smooth, tanned skin is revealed, while she pulls off Sara’s jeans.  She follows that expanse of skin back up until her eyes rest on the patch of baby blue thong covering the blonde’s womanhood.  The jeans in her hands drop to the floor at the sight. “Oh, Jesus…”she gasps standing quickly, arousal increasing her adrenaline tenfold.  “I…um…I’m gonna get a cold shower…TOWEL!! A cold towel for… I’ll…be right back,” she says scrambling to the bathroom, blushing all the way to the roots of her hair.

Sara watches amusedly as she scurries off to the bathroom.  She chuckles to herself.  Me thinks big bad Jada likes what she sees. I’ve never seen her so flustered before or blush so much before. She slowly moves herself up into the bed and covers up. I think I’ll give her a break.  She’s so cute when she blushes, though. Sara looks up as Jada comes back with a wet towel.

Jada sits next to her on the bed, relieved and disappointed at the same time that the blonde was covered now.  “I brought you a cold towel for your forehead,” she says placing it there.

“But I’m already freezing, Jada,” she says frowning at the cold.

“I know, but unfortunately you’re under too many covers, too,” she says moving the comforter aside and standing.  “I’m gonna go shower but I’ll check on you later, ok? Try to get some rest,” she says starting out of the room.

“Jada?” Sara calls softly, wanting to beg her to stay.

Jada turns to her at the door.  “Yeah?”

“Thank you…for taking care of me.”

Jada smiles at her.  “That’s what best friends do, right?” Sara nods, smiling softly.  “Get some sleep,” she says leaving out.

Sara stares at the door for a long time after Jada’s gone thinking about just how much she wants to be with the raven-haired beauty.  She sighs and finally closes her eyes.  She soon hears piano music and knows Jada is out of the shower.  She listens as Jada plays a beautiful melody and eventually drifts off to sleep…I love you being her last conscious thought.

Jada peeps into Sara’s room to check on her and finds her asleep.  She kneels next to the bed and moves pale hair out of a still flushed face, housing chattering teeth.  She caresses the flushed cheek, soothingly.  So beautiful.  So very beautiful.

Sara leans into the touch, eyes still closed.  “Jada…” she whimpers.

“I’m right here, Sara.  Right here,” she says softly.

Sara opens her eyes to look at her.  “So cold, Jada,” she whispers.

“I know, honey.”

Sara clasps the warm hand between both of her cold ones and brings it to her mouth.  She kisses it and puts it to her cheek, closing her eyes.  “You’re so warm.  Will you keep me warm, Jada?” she begs softly.

Jada blinks slowly and bites her lip. I can’t deny her anything when she asks like that. She crawls over the blonde and snuggles up behind her, not once releasing Sara’s grasp. She moves pale hair from the shoulder in front of her and lays her cheek against the blonde’s neck.  “Is this ok?” she asks softly.

Sara shudders as Jada’s warm breath blows across her sensitive ear. She pulls Jada’s arm more snug around her and sighs contently.  “It’s perfect,” she whispers.  Jada smiles and holds her just a little tighter, reveling in their closeness. “Don’t leave me, ok? Please stay with me,” Sara begs softly.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll take care of you, honey.  I promise.  Don’t worry, ok?”

Sara closes her eyes and relaxes as much as she can with the object of her desire plastered behind her.  “Ok,” she whispers, losing herself in the feel of Jada’s soft breasts pressed against her back.

Jada kisses the blonde’s neck, tenderly which draws a silent gasp from her.  “Sleep now.  I’ll be right here when you wake up,” she whispers, closing her eyes and preparing to join Sara in slumber.

Sara kisses the knuckles of the hand still clasped in her own.  I want this with her.  I want to fall asleep and wake up just like this for the rest of my life. She intertwines their fingers. Show her what she’s missing… I certainly will. A smile gracing her lips as she finally succumbs to slumber.

######

Jada makes her last rounds at work and goes into her office to chart her notes on her computer.  She’s in the middle of charting when her friend and co-worker, Dana Lopez comes into her office.  “Hey, D,” she says looking up from her computer screen.

“Hey, chica.  Going to La Femme tonight?” Dana asks sitting on the edge of her desk.

Jada shrugs as she continues to type in her notes.  “Probably so.  I haven’t been out in a few weeks trying to get Sara all settled in.”

Dana nods, watching her.  “So, how is that going, anyway?”      

Jada smiles and sits back in her chair, looking up at her friend.  “Good, actually.  Brewskie loves having her there.”

Dana raises a dark brow, smirking.  “I bet.” Jada glares at her then goes back to typing her notes. “Is Sara going to La Femme?”

Jada nods.  “She said something about it.”

Dana smirks, evilly and leans forward.  “Are y’all going together?” she teases.

Jada narrows her eyes at her.  “What is that supposed to mean?”

Dana waggles her brows still smirking.  “You know…”

Jada rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “It’s not like that with us.  You know that,” she says softly as she continues to type.

Dana cocks her head and studies her friend.  “What if she wanted it to be like that?”

“She doesn’t,” Jada immediately responds.

“How in the world do you know that?”

Jada shakes her head.  “Somebody like her shouldn’t want to get mixed up with somebody like me.  I wouldn’t do anything but corrupt her anyway.  Besides, we’re best friends.  We’d be stupid to mess that up.”

“But you thought about it, right?”

I think about it every single day…  Jada sighs.  “Just drop it, D.”

“But Jada…what if she wanted…”

“Dana! Just give it a rest, ok?  Please?” she asks exasperated.

Not so fast, chica.  We’re gonna get to the bottom of this right now.  “Jada…What do you mean ‘somebody like you’?  Cause you’ve slept with a lot of girls?” Dana asks frowning.  Jada looks at her then down. Dana sighs. Aw Jada… “If she loved you, do you think she’d care?”

Jada sighs again, squeezing her eyes shut.  She rubs her eyes and looks at her hands.  “I’m toxic, D.  She’ll end up hurt dealing with me.  We’re friends.  That’s good enough for me.”

Dana tsks and shakes her head.  “You love her, don’t you?”

Jada looks out her office window, frowning slightly.  No sense in denying it anymore. She nods almost imperceptibly. “She can’t know that.”

“Jada…”

Jada looks at her then and pins her with a serious steel gray stare.  “I mean it, Dana.  Not a word.”

Dana shrugs and looks away.  “That’s not something she needs to hear from me.”  Jada nods looking at her hands.  “It’s something she needs to hear from you.”

Jada snorts, shaking her head.  “No way…  You know, I’m gonna pass on La Femme tonight.  I’m not really in the mood.”

Dana stands, about to take her leave.  “Even if she goes?”

Jada chuckles.  “I’m not her stalker, D.  We live together.  I don’t have to the club to see her.”

Dana shakes her head, smiling.  “Weird.  Good to see you slowing down, though.  Guess being in love agrees with you.”

Jada rolls her eyes as her office phone starts to ring. “This is Jada.”

“Hi, Jada,” a soft feminine voice says.

“Oh, hey, Sara…” Jada says sticking her tongue out at a smirking Dana.

“Were you busy?”

“No, I was just finishing up my charting.  What’s up? Everything ok?” she asks waving to Dana as she leaves.

“Yeah.  I was just calling to let you know that Chrys called wanting to know if you’re going to La Femme tonight and that she sent you flowers too.”

Jada frowns.  “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok…if she calls back, tell her to call me instead of leaving messages with you.”

“And the flowers? They came in a nice pretty vase.  I could put them in your office here or in your room…”

“Trash ‘em,” Jada says quietly.  The last thing I need is for her to think me and Chrys are back together.

“What?”

“Throw ‘em away.”

“Well, they weren’t sent to me…so, I can’t throw them away, Jada.”

Jada sighs and signs off her computer.  “Just leave them where they are.  I’ll do it when I get home.” Why the hell is she sending me flowers anyway? She knows I don’t like that shit.

“Ok,” the blonde replies quietly. “Um… are you going?”

Jada stands, packing up her briefcase to go home.  “No, I haven’t been in the partying mood lately.  Most likely tomorrow night, though.”

“So, what are you gonna do since you’re not going?”

Jada goes to clock out, waving good-bye to her co-workers. She unlocks her black BMW convertible and tosses her briefcase and purse inside.  “Just rent a couple of movies.  Grab some Chinese.”

“Want some company?” the blonde asks softly.

The brunette smiles brightly.  “Absolutely.  But I thought you were going to La Femme,” she says getting in.

“I was…but your evening sounds so much more fun.”

Jada laughs.  “Okay.  I’ll be there soon.  Orange chicken, right?”

Sara smiles.  “Right.  You know me so well.”

Jada shrugs unseen and cranks up her car.  “I make it a point to.  See you at home.”

“See you,” Sara says smiling brightly and hanging up.  How am I supposed to resist her when she says things like that?

Jada comes into the house about an hour later with Chinese and movies.  Brewskie bounds over to her waging his tail.  She smiles, sitting her bags down and kneels in front of him.  “Hey, boy! You been out today?” she asks, scratching behind his ears.  Brewskie barks and licks her face.  She laughs and hugs him.  “I guess so since you’re not bowling me over to get outside.”

Sara walks up, smiling at them.  “I took him out for a while with the Frisbee.  He really is so good at that.”

“Yeah, he is.  Thanks for taking him out.  You didn’t have to do that,” the brunette says standing and smiling at her.

Sara shrugs, smiling. God, I am so glad to see her.  I am so gone… “I wanted to.  It was fun.  So, what did you get?” she asks taking the video store bag.  The brunette pats Brewskie on his side and takes the Chinese food into the kitchen, smiling.  “Jada! These are all my favorites! You even got My Fair Lady,” the blonde says following her into the kitchen.

Jada blushes slightly and shrugs smiling.  “I like that movie, too,” she says softly as she starts to unload the food.

Sara goes and stops her.  “I can take care of this.  You have a hot bath waiting for you.”

The brunette looks at her dumbfounded.  Did I just hear her right? “Huh?”

Sara glances at her, smirking slightly.  “I ran you a bath.  I mean you did pick up dinner and the movies after all.”

Jada just stares at her in shock.  How can I not love her when she does things like that?  “I…uh….thanks,” she whispers, still staring at her.

The blonde nods smiling and not looking at her.  “Go on.  I’ll wait for you.” The brunette studies her for a while longer then leaves to take her bath.  The blonde chuckles to herself after Jada leaves.  Bet none of your fuck buddies ever ran you a bath.  Just showing you what you’re missing.  Wish I could take it with you…

Jada soaks in the hot bubble bath with her eyes closed. She ran me a bath. Has anyone I ever dated run me a bath? She doesn’t even know what she’s doing to me. I realize now that no girl I’ve ever dated compares to her.  She’s always so nice to me.  Always thinking of me.  She doesn’t even know how all this affects me…affects my heart. God, she’s so innocent. She opens her crystal gray eyes.  “And it only makes me love her more,” she whispers to herself. I’ll be a better person…for her. She chuckles to herself, dipping underneath the water. The most unlikely person in the world has tamed me.

Sara’s curled up on the floor with Brewskie beside her when Jada emerges from her bath.  The food is laid out on the table with drinks and the DVD player is cued.  Sara looks up when she hears Jada enter the living room.  Damn… The blonde takes in the brunette’s bare feet, long caramel legs that seem to go on forever up to short navy blue, green and white plaid pajama shorts, up to a navy blue tank top sans bra, over a face slightly flushed from the hot bath that is framed by tendrils of damp raven hair pulled back into a braid. This in-depth perusal isn’t lost on the brunette.

Jada sits next to her on the floor, smiling to herself.  “Hey,” she says softly.

The blonde clears her throat and wipes her mouth to check for drool.  “Hey.  Bath ok?”

“It was great, thanks.”

Sara nods, smiling and hands her a carton of food and chopsticks.  The brunette doesn’t hesitate to dive into her food.  “I decided to start with My Fair Lady.”

The brunette shrugs. “That’s ok with me.”

The blonde looks sidelong at her.  “You sure are cooperative these days…”

If you only knew how cooperative I’d like to be… “You don’t make unreasonable requests.  We’re a lot alike in some ways.”

“What ways?” the blonde asks eating her own food.

“Well,” the brunette says taking another bite and swallowing before continuing. “We both like old musicals…Chinese food…black labs…and it appears we like our bath water the same temperature.”

Sara giggles as she eats her food.  “That’s true.  You don’t mind that I did that, do you?”

Jada shakes her head and shrugs.  “No, I don’t mind.  I’m just not used to someone being so nice to me is all.”

The blonde bumps her, smiling.  “You take care of sick people all day long.  You certainly took care of me when I was sick.  You deserve for someone to take care of you once in a while.”

The brunette blushes and looks down.  “Thanks,” she says barely above a whisper.

Jada gets up to stretch during a break between movies.  She looks down at Sara who has Brewskie sprawled across her lap.  “Bathroom break.”

Sara smiles up at her. “Go ahead.  I’ll cue the next movie,” she says standing to a whining Brewskie.

The brunette shakes her head, chuckling.  “Be right back.”

Sara goes to remove the DVD and put the last one in when the doorbell rings.  She looks towards Jada’s room then goes to the door with Brewskie on her heels.  She opens the door to see a petite black girl with cold dark eyes standing there. “Chrys.”

Chrys looks her up and down with a sneer.  “Jada here?  I know she is.  I saw her car outside,” she says starting past Sara.

Sara frowns, slightly and folds her arms. “She’s here,” she says as she continues to block the entrance.  Brewskie growls softly and barks warningly under his breath.

Chrys folds her own arms looking at her with narrowed eyes.  “And why are you here so late, Sara? Don’t you have an apartment?” she asks nastily.

I’m sick of this shit. Sara drops her arms and takes a step towards Chrys when she feels a hand on her arm, holding her back.  She turns to see Jada frowning at Chrys.  She sighs and backs off.

Jada rubs her arm and steps in front of her.  “What do you want, Chrys?”

Chrys frowns.  “I want you to tell her to go home so we can talk.”

The brunette looks back at Sara then turns back to Chrys.  “She is home and I have nothing to say to you.”

“What do you mean she’s home? And I don’t have anything to say until she’s gone.”

Sara rolls her eyes, shaking her head and goes inside.

Jada watches her walk away.  “Go Brew,” she says softly.  She watches as Brewskie trots back inside after Sara. She turns back to Chrys folding her arms.  “What?”

Chrys sighs.  “What is she doing here, Jada?” she asks whining and stomping her foot.

The brunette tilts her head and narrows her eyes.  What did I ever see in her?  “She lives here.  What’s it to you?”

“How can she live here when you wouldn’t even let me spend the night?” the black girl asks frowning.  Jada just raises a brow watching her.  “Why don’t we just go inside and make up like we used to, huh?”

Jada scoffs and shakes her head.  “I don’t know what you came here to accomplish but this whole thing between us is over.  I don’t need or want this.”

Chrys frowns and folds her arms.  “You don’t want this?  Why? You got something better?” Jada looks away, rolling her eyes.  Chrys scoffs.  “Don’t tell me it’s Sara.  You’ve fallen for her?” Jada folds her arms and shifts her weight. Chrys laughs at her. “You have!  Do you think she’d actually want to be with you? After everyone you’ve slept with? Please!  Just cause she’s lily white won’t make you that way. You’re as black as me even though your daddy’s white. She’s probably still a virgin!”

Jada’s slate gray eyes turn cold as she drops her arms and takes a step closer to her.  “You’ll keep her name out of your mouth. Sara has been nothing but nice to you…no matter how you’ve treated me…no matter how shitty you were to her.  You will not disrespect her in my face!  Now, it’s time for you to go.”

“She’s too pure for you, Jada.  She’ll never have anything to do with you.  I, on the other hand, can be everything you want,” she says reaching for Jada.

Jada grabs her hand before she can touch her and thrusts it back at her.  “Leave now before I make you leave,” she says coldly.

Chrys narrows her eyes and steps off the step smiling evilly.  “You’re a monster compared to her.  She’ll never have you.”

The brunette clenches her jaw in anger.  “Don’t come back.  Don’t ever come back or call me again.  Ever,” she very nearly growls and closes the door quietly.  Sara watches her from her doorway, absently rubbing Brewskie’s coat.  Jada rests her head against the door, frowning.  She’s shaking all over from anger.  All of a sudden, she punches the door once full force then two times consecutively at full force breathing deeply. 

Sara flinches then automatically heads towards the brunette.  “Jada…” she says quietly.

The brunette takes a deep breath and turns to the blonde.  She then looks down, shaking her head and walks past the speechless blonde, heading to her bedroom and closing the door. 

Sara watches her walk away and sighs. Oh, Jada…

Jada’s sitting on the floor of her bedroom beside her bed.  She clenches and unclenches her right hand.  She studies it.  Well, I can move it.  Guess it’s not broken.  Starting to swell, though. She closes her eyes and lays her head against her bed.  Boy was that stupid.  Why do I continue to get this race shit thrown in my face? I didn’t ask to be interracial. Chrys is right about one thing though.  Sara is too good for me. What the hell was I thinking? She holds her hand close to her body as the throbbing becomes worse. Damn it. She sighs and shakes her head when she hears a knock on her door, not looking up when the door opens.

Sara pokes her head in.  “Jada?  Can I come in?” she asks quietly.  The brunette continues to look at her hands in silence.  The blonde comes in and kneels in front of her.  She watches Jada as she refuses to look at her and sighs.  She reaches out to touch Jada’s injured hand.  “Can I see?” The brunette glances at her then reaches out her hand to her.  Sara studies her hand.  “Starting to swell.  Thought you might need this,” she says softly and puts an ice pack she brought in on the swollen knuckles.

The brunette looks up into caring hazel eyes and sighs.  “Thanks,” she whispers.

The blonde nods and looks down.  “Man…she must really care about you to be that paranoid.”

She’s not paranoid.  She’s absolutely right. “She doesn’t care about me…just about what I can do for her…to her.”

Sara flicks her brows.  “I see.  Well…you’re not a monster.  I’m sorry if she hurt your feelings because of me,” she says quietly.

“She didn’t hurt my feelings.  I don’t care enough about her to allow her to hurt my feelings.  What upset me was when she went after you.  She doesn’t know anything about you to make assumptions about your personal life.  I’m sorry for that,” she says looking down at the ice pack.

The blonde smiles warmly and tilts her head.  “Thanks for defending my honor.”

Jada smiles slightly, glancing up at her. “You’re welcome,” she says quietly.

Sara smiles brightly and leans over to hug her.  Jada closes her eyes, prepared to hold her for as long as she allows.  Sara sighs in her arms and closes her eyes, too.  “Would you like to know?”

Jada opens her eyes, realizing that Sara had spoken to her but made no attempt to move.  “Know what?”

The blonde swallows hard which cause her to hold the brunette just a little bit tighter.  “If I’m a virgin or not,” she answers quietly and buries her face in Jada’s neck.

Jada frowns slightly.  “What?  No. That’s not my business,” she says softly.

Sara sighs, her warm breath tickling Jada’s neck. “Isn’t it?” she asks barely above a whisper.

The brunette felt that question through Sara’s lips on her neck rather than heard it.  She couldn’t control the shudder that went through her entire body at the contact. Sara pulls away to be inches from her face.  Jada stares into her hazel eyes and is lost.  The only thing on her mind is Sara’s lips inches from hers…which is probably the reason she dropped the ice pack in her crotch.  She jumps at the coldness.  “Shit!”

Sara giggles and grabs the ice pack.  She glances at Jada’s lips then looks into her eyes.  “I’m gonna put this back in the freezer so it’ll be ready for in the morning, ok?”  The brunette nods silently. Sara smiles with a twinkle in her eyes and stands.  She goes to the door and turns back to Jada who is watching her.  “Some monster you are…letting supposed virgins hug you all the time,” she says winking and leaving out.

Jada chuckles and shakes her head.  “Some monster…”

######

The next night, Sara leaves Jada home alone after making her promise to come to La Femme as soon as she could. Riding to the club alone, gives the brunette time to think.

I almost kissed her last night…or did she almost kiss me?  This is getting out of control.  My feelings are out of control.  I can’t keep letting her get inside of my defenses like that if I have no intentions of pursuing a relationship with her.  A relationship.  This coming from a girl who bet Dana that she could sleep with 10 women in a week and almost doubled that total.  “I can’t help it, though.  I love her.”  Admitting that out loud and finally accepting it, she couldn’t stop the smile that crossed her face. And maybe…just maybe she could learn to love me too.

Jada walks into La Femme and the first person she recognizes is Dana.  She makes her way over to her through the throng of people.  “Hey, D.”

Dana turns to her, smiling.  “Mi amiga! Finally made it, huh?”

Jada shrugs.  “I promised.”

Dana nods in understanding.  “Saw Chrys earlier. She was throwing daggers at your girl.  What’s up with that?”

“Chrys found out that Sara lives with me now…which in turn led to me calling off the whole thing with her.”

“Wow.  No wonder she’s pissed,” Dana says, smiling.  Jada shrugs, looking around.  Dana watches her in amusement and shakes her head.  Leaning over to speak in her ear, she gives Jada the information she’s looking for. “Two tables away from the dance floor on the bar side.”

Jada looks at her sheepishly.  “That obvious?”

Dana shrugs, smiling.  She watches in continued amusement as Jada looks over to where Sara’s sitting and frowns. She chuckles. “She hasn’t danced with anyone and I’ve been here over an hour.  She keeps turning them all down.”

Jada raises a brow, watching Sara turn another girl down. “She doesn’t like to dance fast. She likes to watch other people more than anything else.”

Dana raises her brows.  “Huh…How do you explain the slow songs then?”

Jada shrugs continuing to watch her. “Maybe nobody caught her eye yet.”

Dana stands close to Jada.  “Looks to me like she’s waiting on somebody.  Judging from how she turns to glance at the entrance every chance she gets.”

The gray-eyed brunette frowns slightly.  “For me?” she asks softly as the music turns slow.

The brown-eyed brunette bumps her smiling.  “Why don’t’ you go find out?  Ask her to dance.”

Jada smiles as Sara turns another girl down.  She looks at Dana and winks as she heads over to Sara.  Dana shakes her head, laughing.  Jada goes and kneels beside and behind Sara.  “Nice crowd, huh?”

The blonde turns to her smiling.  “You came.”

Jada nods and shrugs, smiling.  “I promised.” Sara smiles at her.  “So, do I get a dance or are you gonna turn me down, too?” she asks standing and offering her hand.

Sara smiles, biting her bottom lip as she takes Jada’s hand and stands.  “You get a dance.”

Jada smiles at her and pulls her onto the dance floor.  Sara automatically moves into her arms, placing her hands on the brunette’s biceps as Jada’s hands go to the blonde’s waist.  Jada looks around at all the girls watching her enviously.  “I think I just made a hundred new enemies.”

The blonde pulls back to look at her frowning, confusedly.  “How so?”

“From what I hear, you’ve been turning people down since you got here and here I am the first one you dance with…”

The blonde rolls her eyes.  “Oh, come on, Jada…”

The brunette chuckles.  “Seriously. This is gonna do wonders for my reputation.”

Sara laughs and slaps her shoulder.  “Stop it.” Jada laughs.  Sara flicks her brows. “Guess that means dancing with you is gonna do wonders for mine, too.”

Jada shakes her head as she looks away frowning slightly.  “No…I could only hurt your reputation.”

Sara frowns and brings the brunette’s face around so she’s looking in her eyes.  “That’s not true.  You’ve changed so much, Jada.  And who cares what other people think, right?  I know you…in here,” she says placing her hand over the brunette’s heart.

The brunette tilts her head, shaking it. “You have no idea what’s in there, Sara,” she says softly.

Sara sighs looking into vulnerable gray eyes.  “You know what I think?” The brunette raises her brows in question.  The blonde moves closer and slides her arms up and around Jada’s neck.  Jada’s arms automatically go around her, holding her close.  “I think you should stop handling me with kid gloves and let me see what’s in there, Jada,” she says into her ear.

The brunette holds the blonde close taking in everything she just said. Is she saying what I think? Do I have the courage to let her see what’s in my heart? The last thing I want is to lose her because that would kill me.  The song goes off and gives way to Gotta Be by Jagged Edge. Jada pulls back to look at Sara.  She raises her brows.  “Another?”

Sara smiles brightly.  “Absolutely,” she says moving back into Jada’s arms.

The brunette lowers her forehead to the blonde’s and holds her tighter as they dance, looking into each other’s eyes.  Sara breaks the gaze and nuzzles the brunette’s neck, closing her eyes as she revels in the closeness.  The brunette closes her eyes as all the emotion she’s been fighting to hide force its way to the surface and is expressed in her seldom used but very beautiful singing voice.  Sara’s eyes fly open and she gasps softly as she realizes she’s doing it for her only loud enough for her to hear.

I picture you and me

Starting a life together

We could be

We'll take this vow to love one another

Make this thing a reality

Is it real

What I feel

Could it be

You and me 'till the end of time

Never part

Take my heart

Hold it tight

It's true love you know I gotta be

I gotta be the one you touch

Baby, I gotta be the one you love

(I'm telling you that)

I gotta be the one you feel

And I gotta be the one to fill your life with sunshine

I gotta be the one you love

Cause I will always love you so

(I'm loving you, girl)

I gotta be the one you need

I'm just telling you that I gotta be

You make me whole, you make me right

Don't ever wanna think about you leaving my life

You make me whole, you make me right

Don't ever wanna think about you leaving my life…

Jada opens her clear gray eyes as the song ends and looks into Sara’s teary hazel ones.  Everything she never expected to see shows in Sara’s eyes. Time to cross that line, I think.  Hell, it’s been blurry ever since she moved in with me.  God, please don’t let me screw this up. Please…

Sara runs her fingertips up the back of the brunette’s neck as she holds her gaze.  “Can we go home?” she asks softy as a fast song starts.  Jada looks down, frowning slightly as people start to dance around them.  Sara lifts her chin and touches her cheek, looking into her eyes again.  “You know we need to talk.”

The brunette swallows hard and nods.  “Okay,” she whispers but Sara read her lips and smiles.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the two lovebirds,” Chrys says walking up sneering.

Jada’s jaw clenches in anger as she turns to face her.  “Chrys.”

“You two looked so cute out there.  The virgin and the whore.  How perfect can you get?” the annoying black girl asks laughing.

Sara’s hand automatically tangles in Jada’s shirt as she starts toward Chrys.  “It’s okay,” she whispers in her ear from behind her.  Jada turns her head to her, frowning slightly.  “I can’t deal with her until I know where we stand.  Let’s just go, ok?” she pleads softly.

The brunette takes a deep breath and lets it out smiling warmly at the blonde.  “You win.”  Sara smiles at her and grabs her arm.  “Have a good night, Chrys,” she says as the blonde starts to pull her through the crowd and laughs at the expression on Chrys’s face.  She waves to Dana who holds up her fingers to her ear and mouths ‘call me’.  Jada smiles, nodding and gives her a thumbs up.

Sara turns to Jada outside the club.  “Too bad we rode in separate cars.”

“Yeah…” Jada says studying her love’s face.

Sara smiles shyly at her then looks over Jada’s shoulder to see Chrys coming.  “You know… I forgot something inside but I’ll meet you at home, ok?”

The brunette nods smiling at her.  “Ok.  I’ll be waiting,” she says and walks off to her car.

The blonde watches her walk away to her car and drive off.  She then turns to wait on Chrys to approach.  She folds her arms as Chrys walks up to her frowning and looking around.  “She’s gone.”

Chrys sneers at her.  “And without you.  Poor thing.  Can’t keep up?”

Sara smiles at her patiently.  “She’s waiting for me.  And I was waiting on you.”

“Because why?”

Sara steps to be in her face.  “Because…I want you to know that I will not stand idly by and watch you deliberately try and hurt her anymore.  You had your chance.  You blew it.  You had all summer to try and fix it but you didn’t.  I waited to see if you would…”  Chrys raises a brow at that.  Sara chuckles lightly.  “You seem to have the mistaken idea that I wouldn’t want her or couldn’t want her because of her past.  But I’m here to tell you how wrong you are.  You called her a monster.  She’s hardly that.  She’s been nothing but an angel to me.”

Chrys frowns.  “You think you’re special.  You don’t want her!”

“Oh, but I do.  So deal with it because if she wants me too, and I really think she does, there is no hope for you.  I will make damn sure of that,” Sara says coldly and walking off.  Chrys watches her in stunned disbelief.  Sara turns back to her after a few steps.  “Oh yeah… Whether or not I’m a virgin is none of your damn business…but if I am, I’m sure that by this time tomorrow, that fact will be highly suspect, don’t you think?” she smirks walking off to her car.

Chrys watches her walk away, fuming.  “We’ll see how long this lasts…”

Sara pulls up to the house and sees Jada’s car in the driveway.  She smiles to herself.  Tonight, she’s gonna know everything and so will I.  If there’s a future for us, it begins right now. She gets out and stops at the door, hearing the piano being played.  She then hears the beautiful voice accompanying it only louder and clearer than before.  She smiles brightly and goes inside, arming the alarm.  She slowly makes her way to the singing Jada with Brewskie at her side.

Somethin as simple as me hearin your name

Puts me in a place that I can't even explain

I really didn't know back then

But right now I’m totally sure

Baby I know I’m your friend

But I wanna be much more

I get butterflies when I see you comin

Ooh boy you got me runnin'

This feelin' in my stomach

tells me I should be your woman

Cause you’re the only one who makes my fairytale come true

How can someone make so sad

But still I only want them to stay

I wanna say I love you so bad

But I don't wanna scare you away

Please, I wish that you'll understand

That I wanna be more than just your friend

I wish you loved me

         Sara walks up behind her.  “That’s beautiful, Jada.” Jada stops playing and turns to look at her.  She closes the piano and turns around on the bench to face her. “You thinking about somebody when you sing it?” she asks softly.  The brunette nods and looks down. “Must be a very special girl… to you,” she says kneeling in front of the brunette.

Jada bites her bottom lip and sighs.  “She is,” she says quietly.

Sara looks into Jada’s eyes.  “Why haven’t you ever played that for her or told her how you feel?” she asks softly.

The brunette frowns slightly as tears come to her eyes.  “Cause I was scared to death of losing her,” she whispers as a tear falls.  The blonde reaches up to wipe it away as her own form.  Jada shakes her head as another tear falls.  “I don’t want to lose you, Sara.”

Sara closes her eyes as her tears escape.  She really wants to be with me. She sighs and opens her eyes to look into teary pale gray ones.She stands and straddles Jada’s lap as the brunette’s arms automatically go around her.  She touches the brunette’s cheek tenderly.  “Do you love me?” she asks in a whisper.

Jada nods as more tears fall.  “Yes.  I love you so much,” she whispers.

Sara smiles and bites her bottom lip as more of her tears fall.  She lowers her forehead to Jada’s.  “I love you, too,” she whispers. The brunette closes her eyes as soft sobs escape her. Sara hugs her and holds her tight.  “I’m not afraid of you,” she says rubbing the brunette’s back tenderly.

Jada hugs her tightly.  “I don’t want to hurt you.  I don’t want to screw up and you end up leaving me. I am so afraid of losing you.”

Sara sighs and pulls away looking into teary gray eyes.  She wipes the tears away.  “I trust you, Jada.  I’m trusting that you’ll take good care of my heart…cause it’s all yours.”

“I promise to do my best because I trust you with mine too.”

The blonde caresses the back of the brunette’s neck with her fingertips.  “I know how hard it is for you to do that.  You don’t know how much it means to me to have that trust.”

Jada smiles up at her and shakes her head in awe.  I don’t deserve you.

Sara caresses Jada’s cheek studying her face.  “God, you’re so gorgeous,” she whispers running her thumb across Jada’s lips.  She feels Jada’s breath start to quicken and smiles to herself. She then leans down and captures the brunette’s lips in a soft, slow, warm kiss that slowly progresses into a deep exploration of each others’ mouths.

Jada pulls her impossibly closer when she hears her moan softly and continues to explore the mouth of her best friend.  When they finally part, they’re both breathless. Jada caresses the blonde’s back and looks up at her with a question in her gray eyes. Sara smiles, biting her lip and nods.  “Sure?” the brunette asks in a whisper.

The blonde kisses her again softly and unstraddles her.  She stands and offers the brunette her hand.  “I’m sure,” she says softly.

Jada takes her hand and stands, looking down at her. She smiles as she intertwines their fingers and leads Sara to her bedroom.  She opens the door and Brewskie trots in.  “Out, Brew,” she says, her eyes not leaving Sara’s.  Brewskie cocks his head, whining.  Jada looks at him and points out the door. “Out,” she says in a more stern voice.  He whines all the way to the door and looks back pitifully as she closes the door on him.  Sara giggles as Jada blushes.  “Damn dog…”

Sara puts her arms around the brunette’s waist, giggling.  “You’re very cute when you blush,” she teases.  Jada rolls her eyes, smiling and still blushing.  “I just hope he doesn’t hold this against me.”

Jada chuckles and hugs her.  “No way.  He loves you…but not near as much as his Mom does.” Sara smiles and tip-toes to kiss her.  She then snuggles into Jada’s embrace, holding her tight. The brunette frowns slightly and runs her fingers through silky blonde tresses. “What’s wrong?” she asks softly.

Sara sighs.  “You can probably guess that I don’t have much experience…”

Jada nods caressing her back. “I guessed,” she says softly.  Sara looks up at her.  “It’s ok. I promise.”

Sara looks down, frowning. “And if I have no experience?”

She really is a virgin…and she wants to give her virginity to me. Wow…  Jada raises her chin, smiling tenderly as she looks into worried hazel eyes.  “It’s ok,” she whispers.

“You don’t mind?”

“Mind? No. Honored? Absolutely,” she says softly.

Sara smiles up at her.  “Mean it?”

Jada smiles and kisses her.  “You know I do,” she says leaning down to kiss her again as she slowly backs her up to her bed.  Sara looks up at her when she feels the bed on the back of her thighs.  The brunette looks into her eyes to try and convey the sincerity of her next statement.  “If you want to stop at anytime, just tell me.  It’s ok.  I can wait for you. I love you more than enough to wait.”

Sara shakes her head and reaches to pull the brunette’s shirt over her head.  Red is definitely your color, baby. “I won’t want you to stop,” she says leaning over to kiss her collarbone and trailing kisses in to her neck and up to her jaw line to her mouth.

Jada returns the kiss passionately.  She pulls Sara’s shirt over her head and resumes the kiss as she works the hooks on the back of her bra.  Black lace.  My favorite. Pulling off the bra, she runs her hand up Sara’s stomach, up the center of her chest and over her left breast.  She pulls away from the kiss to look at what she’s touching and her mouth goes dry.  Seeing her hand on Sara’s naked breast flips a switch inside her and she has to mentally tell herself to go slow.  Sara, sensing Jada’s hunger, pulls herself up onto the bed with Jada following her and kissing her the whole way until she’s lying flat on her back. She positions herself over the blonde and between her legs.  She moves her kisses from Sara’s lips to her neck, down her chest and takes the aforementioned left breast’s nipple into her mouth as she runs her palm across the nipple of the right.

Sara moans softly as her fingers tangle in Jada’s long dark hair, pulling her mouth closer.  “Oh, Jada…”she whispers.

The brunette is very thorough with her attention to the left breast before turning her attention to the right one, determined to make Sara’s first time the best she can make it.

Sara’s back arches as Jada devours her right breast. I can’t believe she’s finally making love to me. “Oh god…feels so good, baby,” she whispers with closed eyes.  Every touch, every kiss with Jada being the first one. She bites her lip as she loses herself to the sensation of Jada’s lips and hands on her naked skin.

Jada finally begins her descent as she kisses her way down the blonde’s smooth, flat abdomen.  She stops and pays extended attention to her belly button as she unbuttons Sara’s pants. She slides both hands inside the blonde’s pants and slides them off of her hips, down her legs and off of her feet. She rubs her smooth legs and notices that she’s trembling.  She rises up and looks down at her, noticing her flushed face and parted lips. “Sara?” she whispers.  Sara opens nearly gold eyes to look up into gray eyes darkened with desire.  “Are you ok?”

Sara nods smiling.  “Yes,” she whispers.

“You’re trembling…”

“I’ve never felt anything like this in my life…”

Jada smiles and rubs her side.  “You’re not nervous? Scared?”

Sara shakes her head.  “No way.  Not with you,” she whispers pulling the brunette’s head down by the back of her neck into a deep kiss.

The brunette resumes her descent and makes it to the waistband of matching black lace panties.  Unable to help herself, she uses her tongue to outline the panties on the body beneath her.  She then proceeds to remove them, watching the blonde’s face for any sign of apprehension. Seeing none, she kisses Sara from the insides of her ankles to the insides of her thighs.  The increased trembling in Sara’s legs doesn’t deter her because she knows now that it’s only from excitement.  She slowly spreads the blonde’s legs watching her face and feeling for resistance as short curly blonde hair covering her most intimate treasure is revealed. There is no resistance.  She leans down and inhales the blonde’s scent and feels unparalleled excitement building in her own loins.  She looks up at the flushed face of her love.  How many nights have I dreamed of just this? “I love you,” she says softly.

Sara opens her eyes looking for Jada’s.  “I love…oh…my god…oh, Jada…”she moans as Jada runs her tongue between her pussy lips for the first time. Her fingers tangle back in Jada’s hair and her eyes roll back and close as the brunette begins to lick and suck every inch of her. Her speech becomes incoherent and her moans become louder as Jada pushes her closer and closer to her peak. When the brunette opens her up and starts to flick her clit really fast with her tongue, she draws taut like a bow string. And when Jada latches onto it, suckling deeply, she explodes convulsively screaming Jada’s name. The brunette kisses back up her stomach, over her chest and back to her mouth. She kisses the blonde’s neck as Sara tries to control her breathing. “So good, baby.  So good,” she whispers breathlessly.

Jada lies beside her, holding her close. “I love you so much,” she says rubbing Sara’s bare back tenderly.

“I love you, too,” she whispers into her neck.

The brunette holds her closer as she pulls the blonde’s left leg over her own right thigh. “You trust me?” she asks softly.

Sara nods swallowing nervously.  “With everything I am,” she whispers.

Jada smiles warmly and runs her hand down the blonde’s chest and through her pubic hair. She leans in to kiss her as she slips the tip of one finger through her wetness and barely inside her. Sara gasps against her mouth. The brunette pulls away to look into hazel eyes.  “I wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world,” she whispers as she withdraws the tip and pushes back in a little further.

The blonde bites her lip at the penetration as her breathing increases, her eyes never leaving Jada’s.  “I know, baby.  I trust you,” she whispers as Jada withdraws and pushes in further than the last time, only then encountering resistance.

The brunette looks at her to make sure she really wants this. Her answer is a smile and subtle nod.  The brunette returns the smile and leans in to kiss her, slowly working her finger in and out of Sara’s wetness. She waits until the blonde is deeply involved in the kiss then pushes back in and breaking through her virginity. Sara only whimpers softly and holds her tighter. Jada holds her finger still as it nestles deep inside of her love to allow her to get accustomed to being filled. She kisses a damp brow then both of Sara’s closed eyes then her lips tenderly. She lowers her forehead to the blonde’s as hazel eyes open and look into hers.  “Are you okay?” she asks in a whisper. The blonde nods blinking slowly. “I love you so much, Sara. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” she whispers earnestly.

Sara touches her face tenderly. “You’re my whole life, Jada,” she whispers and kisses her again, feeling her muscles relax around Jada’s finger.

Jada feels it too and starts to slowly move her finger all the way in and out of Sara. She watches as the blonde’s lips part as her breathing catches and her eyes close when she gently adds another finger. She smiles when she notices that Sara has begun to move against her fingers.  She kisses her neck and gently rolls the blonde onto her back, never removing her fingers.  She moves her kiss to her chest and begins to suckle both sensitive peaks.

“Oh…Jada…Oooh…”the blonde moans as the brunette’s suckling becomes as deep as her stroking.  One of her hands tangle in Jada’s hair as the other closes over the hand that’s inside her.  When Jada curls her fingers and begins to stroke the skin just inside and on the roof of her opening, her breathing turns to panting.  And when Jada bites down gently on her nipple, it sends a jolt of sensation straight to her core causing her to explode into orgasm, clutching Jada tight and screaming in ecstasy. 

Jada keeps her fingers still inside of her girl until the muscles inside her stop convulsing and her breathing stabilizes.  She then slowly removes them.  “You ok?” she asks softly as she nuzzles her cheek. She’s startled when the blonde rolls to her and buries her face in her neck as she begins to cry.  “Hey… Did I hurt you?” she asks holding her close.  “Baby? Oh, god, I’m sorry… I didn’t realize…”

Sara shakes her head, holding her tight.  “You didn’t hurt me,” she whispers.

Relief washes over Jada.  She rubs the blonde’s back soothingly.  “Tell me what’s wrong,” she says softly.

Sara pulls back to look at her and Jada wipes her tears away.  “Nothing’s wrong.  Everything was so…perfect.  You were so perfect…so gentle with me.  I always hoped…”she trails off.

Jada sighs as understanding hits her.  “I could never be any other way with you.  I love you too much.”

Sara smiles teary eyed.  “And that makes it the best of all…because it wasn’t just sex.  You made love to me.”

The brunette smiles and kisses her lips tenderly, holding her close.  “Yes, I did.”

The blonde stretches then curls back around her love.  “I have to tell you that I enjoyed every minute of it.  Even the small amount of pain. I’ll never forget tonight, Jada.”

“Me, either.” It was my first time making love, too.

Sara sighs contentedly.  She then raises up to look down at the brunette.  “Jada?”

Jada moves her long blonde hair out of her sleepy face.  “Yes, baby?”

Sara smiles at the endearment.  “Will you teach me how to make you feel like I just did?”

“Yes…but later.  Time for you to sleep.”

Sara grins and blushes. “Does it always make you sleepy?”

The brunette flicks her brows. “If it’s done right…”

The blonde giggles and settles back in Jada’s arms.  “Ah…I see,” she says letting her eyes drift close.  Jada pulls her over-sized throw blanket over them and settles back, pulling Sara close.  “Jada?” she asks quietly with eyes still closed.

“Hmm?” Jada asks closing her eyes.

“Can we turn my room back into a guest room now?”

Jada chuckles and squeezes her tighter.  “Absolutely.”

Sara sighs again, smiling.  “Good,” she whispers and drifts off to sleep.

THE END…

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