THE YEARNINGS OF A DARK HEART
Dedication, and Disclaimer: My own yearning for my soul mate and wife inspired this installment in the DARK HEART series. We are separated by necessity, but against our heart's better judgement. I dedicate this tale to her and to our future together. Xena and Gabrielle belong to the folks at Renaissance, not me. I'm not making any profit off of them in any way, shape or form, believe me.
Do not read this if intimacy between two women bothers you, go play Scrabble or something else equally innocent.Feed the need...Let me know what you think of my ramblings at firstname.lastname@example.org
Once again, we are separated. She was taken from me against her will by yet another who wants her for his own. How many times has she been kidnapped in the past? How many times have I done the seemingly impossible to save her life and honour? I will do it again and again if I have to, every day of our lives if necessary. Even as I rush to her rescue, my heart aches for her return. This separation is the most piercing pain I have ever felt; sharper even than the pain of childbirth. My heart is an empty vessel without her by my side; it feels hollow and unfulfilled without her love here to hold me up. It is for her that I do any good in this world, it is for Gabrielle that I fight the warlords, I battle the Gods' tyranny to watch her eyes light up and see her smile turn to me full of pride. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, I knew that she was special. She is full of fight, determination, independence and fire. I think about how her eyes flash and spark when she is angry, the softness of her smile and the tenderness of her touch when she lays her hand on my arm. My yearning for her is an ache that will not be healed until she is once more by my side, only then will I feel complete and whole.
I was going to tell her how I felt, just before she was taken from me. I was ready to lay bare my heart and soul, expose my greatest dream and take down the wall I hide behind...all in the hopes that she would not reject me nor laugh in the face of love. Although I cannot imagine Gabrielle ever laughing at anyone's feelings, she feels her own emotions too keenly to ever treat anyone else's so lightly. She is my ideal match. She is light to my dark, the yin to my yang, the softness and warmth to balance my roughness, a voice of reason and calm in the face of my abruptness and simmering rage that is never extinguished. My soul's perfect partner...My eyes when I cannot see my way, my voice when I can't speak, my rope when I can not hang on, my way when I lose my direction in life, my inspiration and strength when I need it most. She hasn't been gone long, but to my heart, she has been gone far too long. My life was unfulfilled and empty until she came into it, my heart fooled itself into thinking it knew what love and compassion were until I found her tenderness. I yearn to taste her lips, I need to feel her hand on my shoulder, I need to smell her...the scent of the woman I love combined with the honeysuckle scent she wears drives me wild. I yearn for...Her.
When we are together again I will tell her everything that is in my heart, every bit of love, every shred of caring and yearning.
I will tell her about every moment that I have looked at her and been nearly overcome with love, I will share every thought with her in a glance. I will confess my undying and ever-growing love for her, I will take her in my arms and hold her gently, caress her lips with the softest of kisses, make love to her with a mere touch and never let her out of my heart's reach.
She is the one for me. Gods help the one who tries to come between us.