Shattered Innocence

by Tragedy88

Disclaimers: These are my characters, all mine, even if they bear a striking resemblance to a certain warrior and bard. Sorry MCA/Universal you should know by now that I can't resist. But, so ya know, in no way do I make money from this. It's just my own sick, twisted fun.

Sex/Violence: Lots. More then the usual eps of Xena, and more then my usual stories. This is a tough city, a tough neighborhood where just about anything does and will happen. This story depicts love between two members of the same sex, so if this is illegal or offensive, read elsewhere. This story also depicts an act of rape, but no graphic sex scenes. Sorry folks, just not my style.

Anything else? Don't know about that yet. Guess this story has an R rating because of the violence and potty mouth language. Um, that'd be all now. Go ahead and read. Delve into my twisted mind, if you dare! :)

Feedback most welcome at

Chapter Fifteen


"Tony! Shane's here," gram called through the closed door. The only response were the creaks of the box spring as Tony got up and moved to the door.

She cracked it open and looked out with one puffy green eye. "Tell her to go away."

"I will do no such thing, Antonia," gram replied. "If you want her to go away you'll have to tell her yourself." She hesitated as Tony mumbled a curse and slammed the door.

A moment later Tony emerged in yesterday's jeans and T-shirt. Her hair was a mussed halo around her head and she looked terrible. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin was chalky white.

Hastily Gram stepped back as Tony marched down the hall, through the livingroom and to the door. Shane stood just inside it, shuffling her feet on the floor. She looked up as footsteps approached.

"Hey," Shane said and attempted a smile that faltered as she gazed at Tony's face.

"I'm not going to school. Go on without me." Tony stopped about two arm's length from Shane.

"Ahhh, ok."

Tony turned and headed back to her room where she planned to stare at the ceiling all day if need be.

"Wait," Shane jogged to catch up and grabbed Tony's elbow without thinking. "We don-"

"Let me go," Tony replied angrily as she whipped her arm away from the touch.

"I... I'm sorry," Shane stammered. What the fuck did I do wrong?

"Just go away," Tony said harshly. "I want to be alone."

Shane resisted the sudden urge to snarl her own anger. Fine, let her go off and brood. Let her die inside...

Just like you, a little voice chuckled and Shane paled. "Tony?" she called softly to the retreating form who stopped in her tracks.

"What?" Tony asked without turning around.

"I want to show you something," Shane's voice was still low, barely disguising a small tremor.

"I told you-"


Tony sighed. Shane had never said please. Never asked her for anything before. "Show me what?" she asked as she turned to face the dark haired teen.

"I, well? it's best just to show you," Shane said and began to shuffle her feet again, looking towards the floor and the trap door she prayed would appear, open up and swallow her whole. Tony had no idea what Shane was asking, or willing to offer.


Shane looked up. Ok? "Ok?"

"Yeah, sure. What the heck, right?" Tony waved her arms helplessly in the air. "I need to get out of here for a while anyway."

So, Tony gathered up her shoes and light spring jacket, told Gram that she was going out with Shane and followed the dark girl down the apartment steps to the Harley. Here we go again, she thought as she straddled the bike and wound her arms around Shane's solid, reassuring waist.

"Where are we going?" Tony shouted at the wind. They'd been riding for a while now and it looked like that was all they were going to do. Shane didn't seem to hear and since Tony really didn't seem to care she didn't ask again. A few minutes later Shane pulled up beside an old, rusted chain-link fence with curly bits of barbed wire across the top.

"We're here," Shane stated as she turned off the bike and kicked the stand into place.

We're here? Tony's head swiveled from side to side, taking in the overgrown lots, cracked asphalt and the rusted out boxcars. "Here? Where the hell is here?" Tony demanded.

Shane shrugged. "It's an old train lot."

Incredulously Tony followed Shane as she approached the fence.

"Up and over?" Shane waved to the top, then glanced left and right. "Or do you want me to find another way in?"

Tony stood silently with her arms crossed over her chest as if to say 'neither.' But when she looked at Shane closely she could clearly see the trepidation and worry in her eyes. God, I've never seen eyes so expressive in my entire life. I bet she can kill with those things. Thank God Casey can't... Tony mentally slapped herself back on track and looked at the fence again.

"Up," she sighed.

The corner of Shane's mouth quirked into a half smile as she threw her jacket up over the barbwire. "I'll go first and help ya down the other side." She didn't wait for an answer and scrambled quickly up. Once at the top she carefully straddled the jacket then kicked her right leg over and jumped. She landed with a hard thud and a cloud of dust riled at her feet.

Tony gulped, glanced one last time to the intimidating barbwire then stuck the toes of her sneakers into the chain-links and began to climb. She didn't look down, didn't look anywhere but her goal; Shane's jacket. When she reached the top she straddled the jacket like Shane had. Then she froze. There was no way she was going to jump.

"Kick your leg over," Shane instructed when Tony didn't move. She caught a brief glimpse of startled deer eyes before Tony turned her back to her, kicked her leg over and stood at the top. "That's it. Climb down just like you climbed up."

The things I do... Tony gasped as a barb grabbed at her arm.

"You all right?" Shane hurried to just under where Tony was and waited to grab her feet and guide her down.

"Fine," Tony replied through gritted teeth as she planted her feet and crawled down, ten times slower then when she'd scrambled up the other side. Her arms ached by the time she felt Shane's hands on her feet guiding her down the rest of the way.

Once Tony was secure on the ground Shane bounded back up, grabbed her coat and jumped down. "Arm ok?" she asked.

Tony hid the arm behind her back. "Just fine."

"Lemme see," Shane reached out to grab Tony's arm.

"I said it's fine," Tony griped as she stepped back from the girl.

"Ok, then let me see it."


"The barbs are rusted. You wanna get tetanus? Let me see it." Shane grabbed for the arm again.

"It's just a scratch," Tony replied, but let Shane inspect her arm anyway.

It was just a scratch, but Shane insisted that when they got there that she had antiseptic and bandages anyway. So, of course, Tony asked again where they were going, and got a 'just wait and see' again from Shane.

Shane led the way through the tall grass and weeds and Tony followed silently behind.

After a bit of walking Shane stopped in the middle of one badly cracked square of asphalt and looked around. Her keen eyes picked up a drunk on the east side, but he wasn't conscious.

With a quizzical look around Tony watched as Shane bent at the knees and ran her hand over the edge of a broken packing crate. She seriously began to wonder if Shane had lost her mind when the girl pushed the slated wood away to reveal a drain cover.


"Down," Shane confirmed with a strange twinkle in her eyes.

For some reason Tony felt the undeniable urge to smile back but then a waft of something foul reached her nose as Shane pulled the cover up and off to the side. Her stomach churned.

Shane looked up. "After you," she said, waving her hand down towards the smelly darkness. "Climb down and wait for me at the bottom."

Tony shook her head, no.

"Uh, I'll go first?" Shane offered. She looked up at Tony and noticed the pallor of her skin. This was a stupid idea, she sighed. Just take her back. She won't understand anyway. Just as she was starting to pull the cover back over the hole Tony bent down and touched her shoulder. The touch was feather light but still Shane shivered. She met blue-green eyes as Tony spoke.

"Can you tell me first? I, uh, um... I'm not too keen on the dark." Tony blushed as she spoke and looked at the dirt.

Oh... Shane reached into her pocket and tugged out her zippo with a flourish. "No problem. See?" She flicked the zippo across her thigh and back, sending a tall flame leaping into the air.

Fascinated beyond explanation Tony watched the lighter's path across Shane's muscular thigh. "Ah, ok."

With a lopsided grin Shane flipped the lighter shut and half disappeared into the hole. "Meet you at the bottom," she called and was swallowed up into the darkness.

Tony gulped and knelt over the edge. The smell was bearable, not nearly as bad as she had first thought. She listened as Shane's biker boots thumped down the metal rungs and thud to the ground as she jumped the last couple. Tony heard the flick of the zippo and peered farther down.

Shane smiled up at her. "Your turn."

"Ok," Tony replied, and stepped back for a deep gulp of fresh air.

The dark teen watched the blond head disappear. It was several moments before she saw the soles of Tony's sneakers as she planted them on the ladder rungs. She said a few words of encouragement then stepped back a bit as Tony made her way down.

Once her feet were safely on the ground Tony let out a soft sigh. Ok... Not so bad.

"Not so bad, huh?" Shane asked, missing Tony's raised eyebrows in the semi-darkness. "Burnin' my fingers," Shane explained as she whipped the lighter closed and plunged them into darkness. She heard Tony gasp and hurried to apologize. "Reach out your hand Tony, I've got ya."

Tony flung her arm out in the darkness, nearly taking out Shane's nose.

"Whoa, easy there. Relax." Shane grabbed the flailing hand and held it securely within her own. "I know this place so well I can walk it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back."

"Feels like I am blindfolded," Tony mumbled.

"Sorry, lighter gets too hot," she pulled Tony over till their shoulders just barely touched. "There's a light at the end and you'll be able to see then. Just hold on and follow me."

Tony scrunched up her eyebrows, searching desperately for any bit of light. She held a little tighter then necessary to Shane's hand, but the girl didn't complain and she simply followed as best she could, only stumbling once over something unexpected on the floor. She hoped it was just a rat. A dead one.

They came to another ladder leading down and Shane flicked the lighter back on. Safely down Shane plunged them into darkness once again and led the way.

One pace from the room's door, in the blinding darkness, Shane stopped and shuffled Tony around until she was in front. "Put your hand out," Shane commanded.

Tony's fingers darted forward, then timidly back. "What if I touch something... uh, gross?"

"Don't worry," Shane whispered close to her ear, "I'll protect you."

The statement and the closeness sent a shiver up and down Tony's spine. Her hand darted out, if anything to get away from the heat of Shane's body, pressed close in the confines of the tunnel, and her fingertips poked against rough wood.

Shane's hand snaked out beside Tony and grabbed the doorknob. "Ready?"

Nodding mutely, aware that Shane couldn't possibly see her, Tony cleared her throat. "Sure." The door fell away under her fingertips and Shane shuffled off to the side and inside. For a moment Tony stood paralyzed with fear as a loud growl bounced off the walls and surrounded her. Just as she was about to shout out Shane's name a light flickered on. Then another and another. Three lights total blinked to life around the small room.

Tony blinked, adjusting to the sudden brightness, then turned to Shane. She found those expressive eyes turned towards her once more, and was startled to find Shane awaiting her reaction.

She took a longer look around, passing over trinkets of childhood. Dusty, wooden swords stood in the corner, waiting for their playmates. Barrels and boxes were setup for a 'TV.' A small smile quirked her reluctant lips and she turned back to Shane. "You and Charley played here."

"Yes," Shane replied simply and turned away. She stood facing the old cot and it was sometime before she continued. "We had nowhere else to go when... when we needed to get away. No one else knew but us- me..." Shane's voice trailed off, shocked at how much she'd said and how much that little bit had hurt.

"Thank you," Tony said softly.

"Thank you?" Shane turned to regard Tony as she asked.

"For taking me here. Thank you for being here for me..." Tears threatened to overwhelm Tony again and she stopped talking to wipe them away.

"You're welcome." Shane retreated to the cot and smiled gently as Tony sat beside her and clasped their hands together.

The tension gathered in the room as the girls studied the entwined fingers. Light and dark... friends...

"So," Tony quirked a shaky grin, "just how many channels does that 'TV' get?"

Shane chuckled and grabbed the air at her side, retrieving a 'remote.' "Might be a good action/drama on, wanna see?"


The 'TV' bit had been a good stress releaser, but not very practical for two girls who thought they were too grown up to play with it. So, in the end, charades had won.

It was Tony's turn.

"What am I?" Tony demanded, failing her arms around her head and twirling around.

"Dunno," Shane sighed for the tenth time. Don't know! Don't know! Don't know! "Tell me already."

In exasperation Tony flopped onto the cot beside Shane. "The wind."

"The wind?" the dark teen raised both expressive eyebrows and turned on her side to glance down at Tony. She took a moment to study the girl as she lay, with eyes closed, and arms carelessly thrown over her head. "The wind?" she said again.

"Yes! The wind." Tony's eyes popped open and for a breathless second she found herself falling into lakes of ice blue. Something hid behind them, something she couldn't quite reach. She mentally shook her head and sat up. "Your turn."

"No way," Shane exclaimed, shoving away something akin to d?j? vu.

"What?" Tony propped herself up on one elbow and looked at Shane's profile. A mischievous twinkle glimmered in her eyes. "Why not? Chicken?"

"Nope, just haven't got an imaginative bone in my body."

"Uh huh," Tony replied skeptically. "Who built the 'TV'?"

"Charley did." Shane stood suddenly and paced the length of the room.

Oh no you don't, Tony thought. "Tell me about him?" she asked softly. For a second Shane stopped pacing and Tony thought she'd found an opening. "What happened to him?"

The ringing sound of gunshots echoed in her ears... a startled, young face, with blue eyes stared back at her from the center of the 'screen.' Shane kicked at the base of the 'TV' and sent the barrels flying. "Goddamn, stupid thing," Shane cursed, and fled the room.

Tony jumped to her feet and ran to the door. "Shane!" she cried into the darkness. "Don't you leave me!"

Shane dashed blindly through the darkness, groping along the walls. In her haze of anger she couldn't tell where she was, didn't know how far she'd gone. Only knew she needed to be as far away from that room as possible. But Tony's yells echoed down the concrete walls and swirled madly in her head. Not now, not now...

I can't handle this. I can't. I thought I could? thought I could and I can't.

"Dammit!" She punched at the wall as she stumbled to a halting stop. Her knuckles burned and she felt a small amount of release in the pain. As she slumped to the floor she dimly heard footsteps bouncing off the walls as they came closer.

Tony's head poked around the door. She peered into the dark tunnel and a shiver went up her spine. Oh Shane... Two seconds later she gathered up her courage like a cloak to settle on her shoulders, and set off in the direction she thought Shane had gone. Her hands groped along the walls. Each cobweb, each bit of slime and grime halted her in her tracks.

With a sob she gritted her teeth and carried on. "Shane?" she asked at each corner she came to. And at each corner there was no answer. She was ready to give up when she heard the soft scraping of familiar biker boots across the ground. "Shane?"

"Go away, dammit," the voice growled.

Tony slid her arms across the wall as she got on her hands and knees and crawled toward her friend. Her fingertips brushed hard leather and she came to a stop.

"I SAID go away!"


"Tony, get the hell out of here."

"I can't do that, Shane," Tony replied softly as she brushed her fingers along jean clad legs till she found a cold elbow to hang onto.

"Why not?" Shane growled, but already her anger was diminishing. With each fumbling tap of Tony's fingers across her body the anger dwindled.

"Because," Tony's hand found Shane's wrist, "because I'm your friend, remember?" Her fingers intertwined, once again, with Shane's.

"Why?" was the simple question.

But there wasn't such a simple answer. Tony strained her eyes in the pitch-blackness of the tunnel, stalling for time. "Why am I your friend?"

"Yeah," Shane mumbled.

"Why are you MY friend?" Tony countered.

Shane shrugged, then realized neither one of them could see shit down here. She cleared her throat. "I like you."

"I like you too," Tony responded, and an ear to ear grin swept across her face. "Come on, let's go back. It's spooky here in the dark."

That's right... she's afraid of the dark. And she came looking for me anyway? Something for Shane to ponder later.

Chapter Sixteen
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