From the Beginning

part 2

by Warriorjudge


The characters of Xena and Gabrielle and others belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance Pictures, and all the other powers that beYadayadayada. No copyright infringement is intended. I wrote this story at the urging of my muse; it should never be used for profit.

I used some of Tori Amos’ lyrics, so of course, they belong to her No copyright infringement is intended.

This story is the second installment to my previous one, so I guess you should read it before you go on to this one, otherwise it’ll make no sense.


Well, bare in mind, this is Xena we’re talking about here of-course there’s violence.


This story involves both love and sex between two consenting adult women. If you don’t know what records are (in other words, if you’re under 18) or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something else or FREE YOUR MIND.


I’m afraid so. In my story, Xena lost her memory of all her years with Gabrielle; therefore thinks she’s a warlord, becomes the Conqueror and doesn’t remember Gabrielle. I thought it was high time Gabrielle would confront Xena’s darkest side. And yes, it is graphic.


Not as intensive as in Pulp Fiction, but still


To my BETA readers, mentors and guides:

1. CJ Wells (You are the greatest) - A brilliant bard, in my humble opinion. Check out her installments FREEDOM and THE EMBRACE. They are amazing and had been a tremendous inspiration to me. Thanks, dear, for making the time and making the effort for me.

2. Noa (I’m proud to be your friend) - For being there for me, putting up with my whining, for all your help.

3. CB Thank for the hard work you’ve put into my story you rule!

Comments & Feedback: Please! Pretty please, with sugar on top!

From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

I did what I promised myself I would do. I would stand up to her, give in to my survival instincts and fear her. She came into the dungeons the other night and saw me holding and comforting poor Chilapa. The sight of Chilapa in my arms made her crazy with rage for some reason. I guess she considers me her property, and as such, my full attention must be hers. I think she also liked the situation in which Chilapa was totally out of her mind and wanted to assure it would stay that way. She was afraid my touch would bring Chilapa back from wherever her mind was.

Xena’s eyes spat fire and her mouth, poison. She started beating me senseless. She used her fists and her whip. She then tore off my bra and exposed my breasts. I knew raping me wasn’t beyond her; I didn’t delude myself this time.

I don’t know from where I took the power and bravery to shout at her, daring her to rape me, calling her a coward and mocking her for not being able to take me and look into my eyes while she did. I still can’t believe I called her impotent. If there was something that Xena was very proud of, it was her sexual stamina.

I needed to abuse her. Not because I wanted her to hurt just for the sake of it, but I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine. Give her an idea of what it felt like to be abused. I know I couldn’t beat her up. She is much stronger than I am. But I could try abusing her mentally. I could try breaking her and make her start feeling again. I had to remind her how it is to be human again, rather than the beast she is now. I wanted her to be at my mercy. I wanted her to beg of me to stop, like I begged of her to stop.

I felt that at one point something melted in her. I could sense something cracked inside her, but only for a brief moment. She stumbled over some words, trying to retaliate but failing miserably. I didn’t allow myself to feel sorry for her. The world cannot afford it.

I remember asking her what made her such a bitch and her fist pounding on my head almost cracking my skull, in response. I guess I passed out at one point. I don’t remember how I got to her bedchamber, but there I was, lying in her bed. I had a terrible headache. My head felt like Monday morning in Tartarus. She was sitting on a chair next to me. She offered a mug of water to my lips but I choked a little on it. She asked me if I wanted to eat but I declined. I was in way too much pain to successfully manage eating.

For a minute there, I actually believed I managed to penetrate the iron wall around her heart. But her voice barking at me never to address her by her first name cruelly disillusioned me. I knew I was still in a battlefield with her. So when at war I told her I would call her in every way I fancied, for I don’t fear her anymore. Then she was ready to really talk. I asked her why she enjoyed brutalizing and killing people. She told me that she simply liked it, though not in so many words. I tried to educate her, tell her that any idiot can terrorize people. I only ended up insulting her. I wasn’t successful in educating her. I realized then it was useless trying to educate her. She needed to be tamed. You educate a person, and you tame a wild beast.

Oddly enough she asked me whether I had a lover. I could swear I heard a crack from the extremely thin layer of ice I was already walking on. I had to lie to her. I didn’t have any choice I merely hoped she wouldn’t notice. At first she didn’t believe I had never had a lover. She even asked me whether Chilapa was the one. I never thought that concealing a lie from her keen senses could be so hard. Luckily for me she didn’t notice the gross lie.

She offered to let me sleep in a bedchamber next to hers. As much as I wanted to say yes, I just couldn’t leave poor Chilapa down there all by herself.

Xena never came down to my cell during daytime, but for some reason that morning she did. She overheard me talk to one of her guards, Midaicus. He and his wife had parted because he was unfaithful to her and indulged him with another woman’s body. I only tried to help him. I told him about Xena and me. I didn’t give him her name because he was her subject and needed to dread and respect her. I knew if I told him it was she who had been my lover, he would cease to see her as his queen and start seeing her as a woman and would eventually lose awe and respect for her. I knew it just might cost him his life.

I wasn’t sure she would let me live this time. I was convinced she would hand me over to Hades in the most heinous way imaginable. She demanded to know who my lover was. I knew I would die before I told her. I didn’t expect Chilapa would die. I’m deeply mourning her, but I didn’t have any other choice. If I had told Xena she was my lover, I would never be able to break and tame her. She would have used my love for her against me and mentally crush me like an insect. I couldn’t afford it. The known world couldn’t afford it. After she killed Chilapa she entered my cell again and wiped my tears away. For a minute there I thought she had mercy on me and that she would comfort me. I should have known better.

She tore off my bra; I could feel the cold air pinching my nipples. She whipped my nipples so hard that I thought she might rip them from my breasts. I could smell the metallic odor of the blood trickling from my wounds. I saw her kneeling before me and knew what she was going to do to me. I knew she was going to take me with her tongue. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind, not this time. She ripped off my skirt and threw it away. I was hungry for her. I craved and needed her. The longing I had for her love and her flesh overwhelmed me. I couldn’t help myself. I was too weak and hot and she was too magnificent and wicked. I surrendered before her, after a very small and pathetic struggle, might I shamefully add.

She licked my sex in a frenzy grabbing my buttocks, pressing me hard against her mouth. It was bliss. She was saying words of encouragement to me, and that only made me wetter and more willing. She then asked me whether my lover had been as good as she was. I wanted her so badly; that I didn’t defy her and in a way, I betrayed the love we shared before. I told her what she wanted to hear so that she wouldn’t deny me the pleasure she ministered on my body. I just needed her so much.

She promised me that she would give it to me till I came. I was so close to climaxing. I could taste it. But just like I lied to her, she lied to me. She left me hanging on the vergeI knew I didn’t just lose her pleasuring tongue. I also realized I lost the little trust she had in me. Now that she caught me lying to her, I know she would not allow herself to trust me again.

After a few moments Xena’s maid entered the room. I was so ashamed of my nakedness but she didn’t really look into my eyes, I guess she didn’t want to embarrass me more than I already was. She freed me out of the shackles and gave me a new bra and a skirt to cover myself. She helped me get dressed yet she didn’t speak a word to me.

"Hello, My name is Gabrielle." I introduced myself offering her my hand. She kept quiet. I figured Xena had probably ordered her not to speak to me. It was either that or she was mute.

"And I’m from Poteidaia." I went on trying to encourage her to speak.

"Herodotos and Hecuba’s eldest daughter? " Her eyes widened and she looked at me for the first time since she entered my cell.

"Yes I am. Do you know them and my sister Lila?" I inquired.

"Yes I do my poor child. My husband and I are from a neighboring village. By the way, my name is Dana." She said and shook my hand. " For six moons each year I work as a maid for the queen and during the other six moons I work with my husband on our farm. Last year there was a big storm that ruined our farm. Your father and mother helped us to restore it. If it weren’t for them we would probably have starved to death. We became good friends. Your father mentioned you only once. He said a warrior woman took you away from them and you are traveling with her." She said. I couldn’t believe my ears.

"How are they doing?" I asked.

"It’s been a long time since I have visited them, but last time I saw them, they were doing fine." She answered. I was relieved.

"The warrior woman my father was referring to was Xena." I said.

"My dear child, what ever possessed you to travel with that she-demon?" She exclaimed.

"She was a kind and gentle person when I met her, she was always fighting her dark side, but her light always prevailed. She was my best friend." I explained.

"I find it hard to believe," she muttered.

"I know," I answered.

"So, she was your best friend so how come she’s treating you the way she does?" She asked and placed her hand on my shoulder. " I know she has done ‘things’ to you." Dana said with hesitation and whispered the word ‘things’.

"It’s a long story, but she lost her memory, she doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember anything that has happened to her in the past ten years." I desperately tried to avoid Dana’s last remark about the rape, but to no avail. She kept on dwelling on it.

"If there is anything you need, let me know and I’ll get it for you. If you want to talk, I’m here for you even though she warned us not to so much as look at you. But I am indebted to your parents Gabrielle, I’ll help you how ever I can." She said.

"She is keeping me in isolation and so I want you to tell me how she rules Britannia." I said.

Dana told me all of Xena’s doing. About her laws, her killings, about the people disappearing at night, about the way they were being found the next day, everything. I am not capable of describing in words the pain and horror I felt as I heard the queen’s maid speak.

"Has she done to other women what she has done to me? " I asked faintly and moved my gaze from hers. I knew she understood my question.

"I don’t know that for a fact, but people talk," she said. I felt my heart breaking inside me. She dared delve into other women’s bodies, not being faithful to me. She took what she needed from them with violence and violated them. I felt hurt, I felt rage, I felt disgusted, and I felt I wanted to kill her.

"Oh gods." Came out my muffled retort.

"I have to get up to her bedchamber, my child, I’ll try and come visit you as often as I can," she said and went upstairs. Two guards locked my cell’s door. Than they went into Chilapa’s cell and dragged her body out. They cleaned and scrubbed the cell from her blood and left. I prayed that she would be given a proper burial.

It had been a long day for me. I was too tired to think about all that I learned about Xena from her maid. I needed to sleep. I have decided to think about it and about a new course of action tomorrow.

In the middle of the night, while I was sleeping. I sensed her. I could feel her presence in my cell. I woke up with my eyes snapped open. My heart was racing. I tried to relax and breathe deep, but then I saw two blue sparkling dots, glaring in the dark. I gasped and felt as if my spirit was being squeezed out of my body. I started screaming uncontrollably. Xena was sitting in the dark, staring at me. I gradually calmed down and stopped screaming. I hoped she didn’t hear my conversation with her maid. I hoped she came to finish what she had started earlier.

"Good morning." She said with a cold voice. I didn’t answer I’ve decided to wait until I figure out what exactly was it that she wanted from me.

"So, you’re not speaking to me" She was amused. I kept still.

"Still angry with me for that little number I did on you not letting you explode." She smirked, uttering the word ‘explode’ huskily. I didn’t utter a word.

"Well I just wanted to let you know, tomorrow, at first light, I’ll be headed to Greece. I will conquer it. It would take me a moon I assume. Don’t look so happy, Queen of the Amazons, for I’m not leaving you here. You are coming with me to Greece. You won’t get rid of me that easily." She informed me with a frozen voice. She rose up, lit a torch and approached the bed of stones on which I was laying on. " I’m leaving my second in command as my consult to Britannia. He will rule Britannia in my name." She bent over and hovered over me. " I’ll become Conqueror of the known world, the Destroyer of Nations, Ruler of the Earth." She remained close to my face for several moments as if examining my reaction. The content of her declaration didn’t come as a surprise to me. I knew it was only a matter of time before she started taking over the known world. If there was anyone who is capable of accomplishing it, it is Xena of Amphipolis. She rose up and left my cell.


At first light, just like she said, two of her guards escorted me to the fortress’ main hall. I saw an iron cage standing in the middle of the room with ten of Xena’s soldiers surrounding it. I knew it was meant for me. Then I heard her speaker announcing her entrance to the main hall. Xena, Queen of Britannia, at least for the time being, entered the main hall. Her soldiers faced her and saluted her. She wore a black battle dress with a long black cloak. Over her black dress she wore a shining golden armor. She had her sword hanging on above her left thigh and her Chakram above her right. She was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. She was magnificently breathtaking. I couldn’t stop staring at her. I felt I was secreting abnormal amount of saliva, so I swallowed hard several times.

"Put the prisoner in the cage. Ten guards will guard it at all times. No harm is to befall her. If I found out one hair of her tresses is missing, or that she was ravaged, the guards and their families would be executed by me. With my bare hands." She ordered and pointed her index finger at me, her blue eyes piercing me.

"Is the other cage ready, commander?" She asked the huge man who stood at her right.

"As you ordered, your Majesty. " He bowed his head.

"Very well, let us go." She commanded. She started walking towards her fortress gates, her high commanders right behind her.

I was placed inside the cage and ten guards, which she posted at my cage, carried it. I saw the gates to the fortress open. The bright light of the sun struck my eyes. I raised my palm to my eyes and shaded them. I felt like I was going blind. My eyes haven’t met the sun’s rays of light in almost three moons. It took my eyes a little time to adjust themselves, but they finally did.

When I started seeing normally again, I saw tens of thousands of soldiers and horses spread all over the land, as far as the eyes could see. I was astonished and speechless. When they saw Xena they roared her name " Xena the Conqueror". She took out her sword and waved it up above her head as if to inflame them.

Her huge army started moving, beginning its journey to Greece. My cage was placed on a cart and I too, was on the way to Greece. After several hours, her army halted at her command. She is such an impressive woman I thought to myself. Next to the cart that carried my cage, halted yet another cart with a smaller cage with a little boy, not a day over ten summers old. I was repulsed at the notion that she kept small children as prisoners.

"Hey." I whispered towards him. " What’s your name?" I got as close as I could to his cage. I smiled at him in order to show him I can be trusted. He didn’t answer.

"My name is Gabrielle, and I’m from Poteidaia" I said still smiling.

"I’m Millus, miss." He finally said.

"Hello Millus, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I hope you will let me be your friend." I said, and tried reaching his hand with mine through the iron bars, but couldn’t.

"Why did her majesty put you in prison?" I asked him.

"She caught me stealing from her barns. I was hungry." He said.

"Where are your parents?"

"The queen killed them, miss." He said sadly and quietly.

"I’m so sorry to hear that, but you are not alone Millus, I’ll be your friendyou know, I’m a bard, I can tell great stories if you’d like." I tried to comfort him and put some hope back in his blue eyes again.

"Thank you, miss, you’re most kind." He said and smiled.

"You’re most welcomeand it’s Gabrielle, not miss." I gently corrected him.

"Gabrielle." He said, and smiled to me again. His face and clothes were dirty. His boots had more holes than I cared to count. I felt so sorry for Millus, but I still didn’t know the half of it.

"I don’t remember ever hearing you in the dungeons, where does her majesty keep you?"

"Her majesty puts me in cage in the kitchen, see, I’m her food-taster". He explained, "Do you know what a food-taster is, Gabrielle?" He answered his own question before I could open my mouth. "Her majesty explained to me, that my job is to be her food-taster, meaning my job is to check her food for poison. She said not to worry, though, that she made my being her food-taster a common knowledge in her kingdom." He looked at me and said, " Do you know why?" Millus asked me and went on with his answer " Because since everyone knows a small child tastes her food no one will dare poison her food and cause a little boy to die".

"I’m so sorry" I murmured.

"It’s not too bad Gabrielle, at least I get to eat three times a day." He said matter of fact.

I didn’t know how much more of her monstrous actions I would be able to bear.

"Here she comes." He whispered and immediately bowed his head.

I looked ahead and saw her walking towards our cages. Dana is at her side, carrying three plates with meat and potatoes. She stopped next to Millus’ cage, took one plate from her maid’s hand, opened Millus’ cage and shoved the plate under his chin.

"Taste." She ordered him


He did as she ordered. The Queen waited for a few moments checking for any signs of poisoning on Millus, and when she didn’t find any, she ate herself. After she cleaned her plate she took another plate from her Maid and shoved it in Millus’ face again.

"Taste Gabrielle’s food as well." She ordered.

"No!" I exclaimed. "If someone poisoned my food, so be it. I’d rather die, than watch this little boy die. His blood won’t be on my hands." I said as I grabbed the bars.

"For starters, it's not your decision to make. Second, who would want to poison you anyway? Third, its not the first time that little Millus has tasted your food, and fourth, I must tell you I’m touched by your compassion." She said, and laughed a vile laughter.

After Millus tasted my food, her maid handed me one of the two remaining plates, and gave the third to Millus. She accompanied her motions with her looks.

"Within four days we’ll be standing on Greek soil." The queen told me, then, turned around and walked away.

After the food break, Xena mounted her horse and galloped to position herself at the head of her army.


Darkness finally invaded and the queen posted guards and sent scouts and spies ahead. I enjoyed the way she handled her officers and soldiers. It was amazing to see how she was in control of thousands of men. She was so strong, so intimidating, and so inspiring. The way she carried herself with such authority, power and grace. I was stunned and hypnotized by her. I secretly admired her. I was barely capable of removing my ravishing eyes off her. I was so afraid one of her soldiers would catch me staring at her.

She had three of her soldiers making her camp, building up her tent. She ordered my cage to be installed next to the fire in her own camp. She posted two guards to watch my cage. She sat by the fire; the lights of the flames were flickering her unreal face.

"So, how was your day Gabrielle?" She asked. I didn’t know what to make of her. Was she being sarcastic towards me again or was she really asking?

"It went very well, your Majesty." I answered.

"I caught you eyeing me, little girl." She didn’t say it in a cruel and nasty way but rather playfully.

"I was so impressed by the way her Majesty was handling her men." I said with awe and knew I was shamelessly boosting her overgrown ego as it is.

"I told you, Gabrielle, the best way to control people is by fear." She said with such conviction.

"No disrespect, your Majesty, but you can lead people with things other than sheer fear. Besides, fear is a very unreliable emotion. It makes people do unexpected things. Fear made Chilapa lose her mind," I said.

"With most people fear works, I’m keeping an open eye on the others." She muttered and went on. " What do you think is the best way to control people?"

"Well, I don’t think it’s right to control people. Nevertheless, if you’re caring and kind to them, they’ll appreciate you, and follow you of their own free will. Be a great person, and they’ll admire you," I suggested to her, looking at her though the bars. She started laughing.

"You are so naive, Queen of the Amazons. That only works in La-La-land, not in reality. Soldiers won’t follow me into battle just because I’m a nice person." She was so amused she was almost adorable. We sat together for a little while longer. She took out her sword and started sharpening it with a whetstone. The sound of the long strokes took me to a stroll down memory lane. If it wasn’t for the bars, I could fully feel like we were in the ‘good old’ days. I could almost see Xena spreading our bedrolls on the ground taking her clothes off. Lying down, she inviting me over to join her. I could almost see myself joining her, naked as well. Holding her in my yearning arms whispering softly to her, "Enter me, My Champion." As I always did before we made love.

Xena got up and entered her tent. I lay down on the ground and put my hands beneath my head. After a few moments, I saw Xena coming out of her tent, dressed with a white sleeping tunic and holding a thick wool blanket in her hands. She approached my cage and opened it.

"Cover yourself with it." She said, throwing the blanket at me " It’s going to be a very cold night" She said. She turned around and was about to enter her tent again.

"Can I please ask of her Majesty, to give this blanket to her food-taster? He’s a small child, I’m afraid he’ll catch a cold." I begged, and I saw her hesitating for a moment. Then she faced me and said:

"It’s fine, he’ll get another blanket. You’ll get to keep the one I gave you"

"Thank you, your Majesty." I gratefully said. She didn’t reply.

I bid her good night.


The following day, one of the guards woke me up. He said we were to start moving. Her guards loaded the cart with my cage, and soon I could feel its rattling against the ground. Millus’ cage was substantially far behind; hence I couldn’t speak to him.

The same guard, who woke me up that morning, probably sensing how bored I was from hours of riding without anyone talking to me, because he started a conversation. He was a very handsome man, tall, muscular, fair brawn hair and green eyes like mine. He introduced himself to me as Derron. He told me mindless things about himself, a little about his parents, about being a solider in Her Majesty’s army and such. He was most charming and amusing and really helped the time pass faster and more pleasantly. We were so caught up in the conversation that we didn’t realize the army had stopped for some rest and food. Unfortunately, we didn’t see the approaching of the Conqueror either. He kindly stroked my hand when he comforted me for being the Conqueror’s prisoner. Just then, she showed up. Without any warning she grabbed poor Derron by his hair and brought him to his knees.

"Lift and spread your arms." She yelled at him. Her army quieted at the sound of her raging voice. He obeyed.

"What’s your name, solider?" She shouted, looking down at him.

"Derron, your Majesty." his voice trembled.

"You are about to be punished, you little fuck." She growled, "Do you know why?"

"No I don’t, your Majesty," he cried.

"For trying to seduce my prisoner, soldier." She bent forward and shouted in his ear.

She took out her sword and chopped off his arms. His screams of pain tore my ears. I was starting to feel my heart growing a thick skin as a result of witnessing her inhumane actions. I knew he wasn’t trying to seduce me, but I knew there was no way to reason with her.

She picked up his arms from the ground, took a rope and tied them to my cage’s bars, as a little reminder for her soldiers not so much as even look at me.

"You have one candlemark to eat and rest. Get moving. The show is over." She ordered her army. They obeyed.

She then turned and faced me.

"As for you little girl, don’t you think I have forgotten you. I have planed an extra cruel and special punishment, just for you." She snorted, and left.


Xena and her army have arrived in Greece within four days, just as she predicted. She conquered every village, every warlord domain, every province, everything. She conquered Agripa’s huge and magnificent palace, killing who ever resisted her. Needless to say she killed Agripa too. He was an evil man who exploited his villagers. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind, though, that once these villagers get a taste of their new Conqueror, Xena, they would miss the days Agripa ruled them.

Within two weeks, Xena conquered more than half of Greece. Even though she had Agripa’s palace, she didn’t place me there. She dragged me with her from one battlefield to another, forcing me to watch her slay hundreds, nay, thousands of people. I must admit watching her fight is fascinating; the way she moves, the way her muscles flex, her expression, and her passion. It looks as if she is dancing a lethal dance to the beating of the war-drums.

On the twenty-second day of the war, we arrived in Poteidaia.

From Hecuba’s scrolls

It was a peaceful day in Poteidaia. Peaceful up until the moment Xena came into our village, and into our house.

Her army was immense and we didn’t stand a prayer. We did the smart thing and surrendered to her without resistance, without bloodshed. We knew she was coming. Words of her conquests traveled like fire through a thorn field. My husband and I didn’t know what came over Xena. We knew something was wrong with her. Well at least I suspected as much. My husband said that now Xena was finally uncovering her monstrosity, her true face. He kept telling me that Xena was evil, that she is putting on a mask to cover her true self, her true nature. He has been telling me she was doing it because she was after our daughter, Gabrielle.

I didn’t think it was true at the time, and I don’t think it is now. I could see the love in her eyes when she gazed at my eldest daughter. I know it was genuine, for no one can pretend that well. Something terrible has happened to her.

She struck Poteidaia at dawn. After several hours, her conquest was complete.

It was noon. My husband, Lila (my other daughter) and I, sat at the table and were having lunch. Xena burst into our house. My husband jumped to his feet and grabbed his sword that was leaning against the wall. Before he managed to point it towards Xena, she had already had her sword under his chin.

"Come on, old man, you should know better than this" She said with conviction. Lila held onto me for dear life.

"I went through a lot of trouble finding you people. No one in Poteidaia wanted to tell me where Herodotos and Hecuba’s residence was". "Her words didn’t make any sense to me. She had been to our house a few times in the past. She was supposed to know where we lived. Why did she have to ask around?"

"Where is Gabrielle?" My husband demanded to know. Xena stepped back and motioned with her hand to a soldier who was standing outside our house. Her soldier brought our Gabrielle, tied with a leash, which was attached to a collar she had on her neck. Xena grabbed the leash and pulled Gabrielle closer to her.

"You seem like a very nice woman, Hecuba." She turned and spoke to me. " So I’ll make it nice and simple for ya." She got closer to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders as if we were friends of many years. "A woman in my stature, has, shall we say, all sorts of ‘needs’ – are you following me, Hecuba?" she asked, and I felt my heart was missing a beat. I didn’t want to believe she had meant what I thought she had meant.

"I’m not sure I understand." I said.

"Alright, since you insist, I’ll be blunt. I’m looking for a body slave, a whore – now do you get my drift?" She mocked and smiled, looking for my husband’s reaction.

"By the gods!" Lila exclaimed. Xena immediately turned and locked her eyes on Lila.

"Lila, I presume." She muttered and walked towards her. When she reached her she stuck the tip of her sword under Lila’s dress and lifted it, exposing her legs and apex.

"Leave her alone!" Gabrielle shouted. Lila was frozen with fear and humiliation. Xena pulled the leash in her hand causing Gabrielle’s head to jerk. " Silence!" She barked at her.

Xena walked to me again.

"I have to hand it to you, Hecuba, Fine daughters you raised here." She nodded her head. " And since I like you and your little family, I’ll be generous with you, I’ll let you pick."

"Pick what?" I asked.

"Pick which one of your lovely daughters will become my whore." She burst into a wicked laugh.

"Pick me mother, I’ll go with her." Gabrielle turned to me and said. She didn’t even hesitate a little.

"No, pick me mom." Lila’s response came shortly afterwards.

"Girls, girls, there is plenty of me to go around, really, there’s enough for the both of you. There is no need to fight over me." The Conqueror smiled. She was so smug.

"I can’t choose." I finally said.

"You don’t have much choice. Either you choose, or not only will I enslave them both, but I’ll kill your hubby as well." She threatened.

I was crying. Lila was crying and my husband stood still. Gabrielle looked at me and said:

"Pick me, mother, you know I’ll be fine. I’d never blame you for this, there isn’t a choice and you know it." I held my Gabrielle tightly until the Conqueror tore us from each other.

"I have a change of heart." She suddenly said. " I don’t want Gabrielle, she’s not fun to be with, and she’s not submissive and obedient enough. Lila, on the other hand"her voice drifted.

"Please, Conqueror, take me. I’ll be anything you want and need. I swear it. I’ll do anything you wish." Gabrielle threw herself at the Conqueror’s feet; her voice was broken. " I beg of you, I’ll give you anything you desire. I won’t need much training. I have experience in sexually pleasing a woman, Lila here is not experienced at all, and I’ll be much better than she." She bowed her head until her forehead touched the Conqueror’s feet. Seeing my Gabrielle like that, saying all those words, made me feel like something inside me died that day.

"Very well then, I’ll take you, Gabrielle, and spare your sister’s innocenceI didn’t want her to begin withI was just punishing you and your family for flirting with my young soldier." She looked down at Gabrielle. " On your feet, slave!" She yelled at Gabrielle, pulling the leash again, slightly choking my beautiful daughter. Gabrielle clutched her fingers around the collar on her neck and stood up.

"Mom" the Conqueror addressed me, "I think we have a winner." She viciously giggled. Before she turned to exit our house, she turned once more and said to me:

"Don’t worry about her, I’ll treat her as if she was my blushing bride." She cupped my daughter’s breast, molded her nipple above the fabric, and on her face was the expression of a mistress from Tartarus. " You can all go back to your lunch now." She finally left, dragging my daughter behind her like a bitch.

From Gabrielle’s scrolls

Look, I’m standing naked before you,

Don’t you want more than my sex?

I can scream as loud as your last one,

But I can claim innocence.

Tori Amos

Our visit to my parents house was one of the most degrading experiences of my life. The way she looked at my sister Lila, and me. As if we were merchandise displayed in the market. The position she put my mother in - having to choose which one of her daughters would be sexually enslaved by an animal in the shape of a woman. And the look on my fathers face...he was so helpless. The sight of him broke my heart. I can’t begin to imagine my parent’s thoughts and feelings regarding their daughter becoming another woman’s whore. My deepest concern is their guilt. I hope my mother believed me when I had told her I wasn’t blaming her. I’ve never known for sure whether my mother was aware of the true nature of the relationship between Xena and me. We were lovers and not just best friends. When I assured her that I would be fine and when I said I have experience in being intimate with a woman, I hoped she would understand my hint. That being sexually intimate with Xena is not a novelty to me. I couldn’t be more blunt than the hint I gave her. I was afraid Xena would pick up on it.

After our visit to my parents in Poteidaia, the Conqueror placed me in her beautiful and enormous palace, previously owned by Agripa. She put me in a bedchamber next to hers. She warned me not to dare escape the palace otherwise she will go back to my parent’s house and kill them all. She forced me to give her my word and I did. I didn’t have any intentions of running away regardless of my parents. I still haven’t reached my goal. I have to make her fall in love with me again. She told me her work is not done yet, that she has to go on with her war and bring Greece to its knees. She said she would be gone for half a moon or so and left.

While she was away on her battles, I freely roamed her magnificent palace, getting to know her cooks, maids, gardeners, and guards - her entire household and their families. Her entire staff was very kind and friendly towards me. I guess it was, in part, because they realized what my role was in the Conqueror’s life and felt sorry for me. It wasn’t very difficult to reach that realization for all her servants were residents in the servants’ quarters, where I was a resident in the bedchamber next to hers.

Becoming friends with the children in the palace was an easier task than making friends with their parents. Once, after we all had dined in the servants’ dining hall, I gathered all the children, including my young friend, Millus, and went out to the Conqueror’s gardens. The children sat on the grass, in the sun, and surrounded me, as I was telling them stories about my adventures with the Warrior princess. They really loved my stories. I played with them and told them stories. I even began teaching them to read and write, until it was time for supper.

During the mornings the children were busy with their chores, and so were their parents. I would occasionally write in my scrolls in my bedchamber, or help the youngsters or their parents with their labor.

Every other day, news came to the palace about the Conqueror’s new conquests and her success on the battlefield. It was informed that the Conqueror would return to her palace within a moon and not half a moon as previously thought.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I am so proud of her. She is so brave, powerful, and charismatic. I had to remind myself too many times, that she is fighting for power and control, not for peace. That she is killing innocent men. I don’t even want to think about what she must be doing to the women.

I miss her terribly, not having seen her for almost a moon. On the other hand, I knew what was to happen upon her return. She would take me in ways that would make me feel as if all Tartarus had broken loose. She would be loaded with battle lust, and she would need a place to unload, to release.

The evening prior to the Conqueror’s return, Dana and I sat on the balcony attached to my bedchamber and talked. She conveyed her fears to me that I was to be the Conqueror’s body slave. I told her I suspected as much.

"It must be terrible for you." She said.

"It must have been terrible for my parents. Still is." I cough. I told her about what had happened in my parent’s house. She said she felt so sorry for my family and me. She said she was worried sick about her husband. She was afraid he would be killed in the war. She said she prayed to the gods that the Conqueror would bring him to her palace to reunite with her. She heavily exhaled and told me that the chances of that happening are slim to none. I told her she mustn’t lose hope.

"Dear child." She mumbled, stroking my face with cold fingers.

"And you shouldn’t be worried about me, Dana. I think I’ll be able to survive being the Conqueror’s body slave."

"I don’t think you realize what you’re saying, Gabrielle." Said the older woman.

"I’ve survived her raping me." I said. After a few moments of silence, she turned to me.

"Have you ever been with a man, Gabrielle?" She asked quietly.

"I must confess to you. Before I go on, you have to swear to me you won’t breathe to another soul what I’m about to tell you now. It may cost me my life." I warned her.

"I swear." She said, and put her right hand on her heart. I leaned forward towards her and whispered in her ear:

"I was married once. His name was Perdicus. He was murdered after our wedding night by a woman named Callisto. Xena killed Callisto for me and comforted me."

"I am so sorry." Dana said sincerely.

"It is water under the bridge now. Don’t tell a living soul that I was married to him. If the Conqueror would find out she might kill his family. For some reason she is highly possessive of me" I concluded and rose to a standing position. She stood up and faced me.

"You have a beautiful soul, Gabrielle." She said.

"You are very kind Dana." I retorted. She bade me good night and went back to the servant’s quarters.


The Conqueror returned to the palace a little after dusk. Upon her arrival, Dana drew her a bath. Filling the large bathtub the Conqueror had in her bedchamber, with hot, steamy water, some herb concoction and lilac. She helped the Conqueror with her bloody clothes. The Conqueror ordered her to summon me to her bedchamber.

"Gabrielle, the Conqueror has returned to her palace after conquering Greece." Dana said upon entering my bedchamber.

"She’s here?" I asked and rose from the table I was writing on.

"Yes she is, my brave little child, she is asking for you." She said with a grave expression on her face " I’ll be praying for your well-being tonight." She murmured and left my bedchamber.

By the gods, she is back, back after a moon and a half of battles. She’ll be hungry tonight. She’ll be brutal tonight. Clearly, I remember the nights of love making when we were lovers; I especially remember the nights we had after Xena had fought and killed evil people, warlords and such. After washing the blood and sweat from her body in a lake nearby, she would come to me. I could tell by the expression on her face, and by the look she had in her eyes she desired release. On these nights she wasn’t gentle with me. She used her strong hands to rid me of my clothing. She kissed me hard and fast on my lips, her tongue forcefully delving deep into my mouth. She would lie on top of me, grabbing my wrists, pulling both my hands above my head. Her ministration to my body was rough. She hurt me a little, leaving small bruises on my skin from sucking very hard on it and biting it. I enjoyed her rough and hard love. I enjoyed the mixed sensation of both pleasure and pain. Pain was pleasurable to me. She had never beaten me or whipped me. She had never been brutal or ruthless. I could feel she wanted to be rough. I could feel she was holding back, trying desperately to control herself, to suppress her battle lust, for fear of hurting me. I tried to persuade her several times to let go, to be herself, to give in. I have pleaded with her to take me like she wanted to, like she needed to. I tried to convince her that I’m strong enough, that I’m not as fragile as she assumes, that I’m stronger than she thinks. I told her that this was what I wanted too. She refused me and concluded that I didn’t know what I was asking. In time I gave up and stopped imploring her.

I knew that when she got back from battle the next day she wouldn’t try to control herself. I knew she wouldn’t deny herself for my sake. She will expel her blood lust onto my body, without thinking twice about it. .


"You are to obey my every command; you are expected to be submissive and obedient; I demand complete surrender; speak only when spoken to. Remember, you are here to serve me, you are here for my pleasure - therefore, you are not allowed to come during service. By no means should you touch my body, aside from my sex, with your hands. When lying on the bed assume a spread eagle position. Bathe before performing. You are to be at my disposal at all times, looking at my face during service is forbidden."

These were the instructions she barked at me the moment she entered her bedchamber.

When I entered her monumental bedchamber she wasn’t there. I stood in the middle of her bedchamber and waited for her. After a little more than a candlemark she stormed in and started spouting my service instructions at the rhythm of battle drums. After she finished she asked:

"Is that clear?"

"Yes, Conqueror."

"Do you need any clarifications?"

"No, Conqueror."

" Disobey me, and you’ll be severally punished."

"Of course, Conqueror."

"Now, go, and prepare yourself for attending me. Be back here in one candlemark. Go!" She raised her hand and pointed with her index finger at the door.

I left her room in a hurry. I took a bath with jasmine in the water so that she would be pleased with me and maybe she would be gentle with me. I hoped she would find me to her liking. I was excited and frightened. I haven’t seen her in over a moon and desperately longed for her.

When I saw her in her bedchamber earlier, she was covered with blood. She looked as if she had been butchering cattle in a slaughterhouse without an apron. I washed myself thoroughly and precisely after one candlemark I reported back to her bedchamber. When I entered, she was already standing there, by her enormous bed. She was wearing tight black leather trousers and a black leather bra. Her long black hair was wet. Evidently she had taken a bath too. She looked stunningly arousing.

"Come here." She ordered calmly. I obeyed, my gaze nailed to the floor.

"Sit on the bed."

I sat as she ordered and she stood before me, her crotch in front of my eyes.

"Unbutton my trousers slowly with both hands." She demanded. I did just that. As I was undoing her trousers I detected a bulge under the leather, hanging from her crotch.

"Lower my trousers to my knees." She said with an icy voice. As I was lowering her trousers a device, which resembled a male’s sex member, a phallus that was made out of leather, was revealed before my eyes.

"Now, open your mouth wide, little girl, and insert the cock into your mouth, and down your throat."

I took the phallus that was strapped to her waist and inserted it into my mouth.

"Deeper, little girl."

I opened my mouth wider and felt the phallus slide into my throat.

"Now, suck it." She said with an elated smile. She took her right hand and delved it into my hair. She gripped the back of my head with her left hand and started swaying her hips back and forth. I could feel her eyes looking down at me. When we made love, in the past, she never used a phallus. We used only our bodies to satisfy and pleasure each other. The phallus was relatively big and it was very difficult inserting it down my throat. I felt I was almost choking. I kept on sucking and licking and she kept on thrusting. After a while I felt her thrusting grow faster. She bucked my head against her center. At the corner of my eye I saw she had a huge mirror on the wall behind her. I saw her ass muscles tightening and relaxing, taunting and limping. I saw her strong back, her gorgeous long legs, and the back of her tilted head. She moved so erotically that I started feeling wetness forming in my own sex. I could also smell the strong scent of her arousal.

"Untie the straps." She said with an anxious voice. I untied the straps and the Phallus fell to the floor.

"Now, fuck my cunt, whore." She growled. I licked her sex frantically, gathering her arousal with my tongue and into my mouth. She aroused me to no end. She still had her hands delved in my hair and she pressed my face between her thighs. Her clit was so erected that she came within moments. She didn’t have to force me to swallow the hot stream of nectar that accompanied her climax. I would have done it eagerly but her obsession to control forced me anyway. After I was done, she yanked my hair and threw me to the floor, like one would throw dirty britches.

"Go and bend over the table and wait for me there." She ordered without looking at me. I did as she ordered. While I was bending over the table, nipples and left cheek pressed against its surface, I thought to myself that so far It hadn’t been that bad. She wasn’t brutal or anything. On the contrary, she made me so hot; I was craving for release myself. Alas, I wasn’t allowed to. I would have to wait until I was at the privacy of my own bedchamber where I can stimulate my own sex.

She took her whip and without any warning she started whipping my ass so forcefully that after the second lash I could feel the blood dripping on the back of my thighs. I couldn’t contain a scream. She got closer to me, yanked my hair pulling my head from the table and then she slammed my head against it. As a result of that blow, blood was covering my forehead.

"Be quiet, you worthless whore, you!" She shouted and went on whipping my ass and back. The pain was unbearable. I bit my lower lip so that not a sound would manage to escape my mouth. Then, I saw her binding back the Phallus with its straps to her waist.

"Spread’ em, little girl, I want in." She roared. I could hardly move my legs. When she thought I was accessible enough for her, she penetrated my sex with her phallus. It hurt so much I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think I would come out of her bedchamber alive. She thrust into me harder and deeper. She sexed me violently, drilling and stabbing my inner core with her member. Tears started welling from my eyes. I felt her phallus digging deeper yet inside me. I could feel it reaching my lower stomach.

"I know you love it bitch...I wanna hear you bark, bitch." She roared. After a few moments she grabbed me by my hair again, lifting my head from the table and shouted at me: " I said bark, bitch!" I obeyed and started barking like a dog. She smashed my head down onto the table like before. She grabbed me by my shoulder and pulled my body toward her. She penetrated me even deeper. Her other arm was wrapped around my waist. She kept on brutally pumping my sex, up to the point I felt I was bleeding inside. I felt she ruptured my inner core. At that point I passed out.

From The Conqueror’s log

(Written by Xena the Conqueror)

I set out to conquer Greece. For the past moon and a half I did it. I brought Greece to her knees, harvesting the lives of those who had dared oppose me. During my campaign I marched into Poteidaia. I made Gabrielle’s mother choose which one of her daughters was she willing to sacrifice as my courtesan. I wanted Gabrielle, really. I had done the whole charade as retaliation to Gabrielle’s flirtation with one of my soldiers. And so I made her my body slave. I wanted to feast on her then and there in front of her parents and sister. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I was in a middle of battle and I needed to stay focused.

I conquered Agripa’s gorgeous palace. It was quite easy for I took him by surprise. I placed Gabrielle and the rest of my servants in the palace, and went back to war.

It took me a moon and a half to conquer Greece. Most of the villages surrendered to me without putting up a fight. The bigger towns and their leaders did fight me, but I killed them all...

When I got back to my palace, I couldn’t help myself any longer. Given the fact that it was after a long war and that I hadn’t "expelled" my needs during it, I wanted to have Gabrielle as soon as possible. Right after I entered my palace I ordered my maid to fetch Gabrielle and send her to my bedchamber. The instructions of how to service me the way I fancied were the first words she heard from me. I gave her a candlemark to prepare herself and she did.

While war was going on, I took the liberty and went to a leather craftsman and ordered him to make me a device in the shape of the male member for, I desired to have my little concubine this way. For I knew, the deeper I plunge into her the more in control I am of her.

So during the first night I had her, I had her with my phallus. I ordered her to orally attend to it than to orally attend my sex. Climax hit me in almost no time at all. Since my sexual appetite is immense, and my sexual stamina is unlimited, soon after my first orgasm subsided I was in need of another one.

I didn’t realize she passed out at the time she did. I kept thrusting forcefully inside her until I climaxed again while I was taking her from behind. After I came down from climaxing I noticed her eyes were closed and she wasn’t moving. At first I thought she was just surrendering to me. But after a few moments, when I noticed there was no change in her state, I called out her name. I thought she might have fallen asleep, I couldn’t believe I caused her to pass out. No, I didn’t want to believe I caused her to pass out. With one swift motion I exited myself from her sex cavern. I looked down at the phallus and was amazed to find it was covered with blood. I examined her sex and saw blood streaming from her cleft.

I yelled my maid’s name. She came rushing into my bedchamber. Upon entering she stared at me and in her eyes I could detect shock. I can’t really blame her, seeing me with that blood-dripping phallus strapped to my waist.

"Get over it!" I demanded "And have her cleaned up, she’s bleeding like a fucking wounded animal." She immediately sent for her assistants and they took Gabrielle back to her bedchamber.

I remained in mine and cleaned myself up from my slave’s blood. Fucking Gabrielle was so pleasuring I thought to myself, while I was putting on my night shift. I went and lay in my bed. As I was waiting for Morpheus to claim me, my bedchamber door snapped open and my maid entered.

"This better be good, Dana." I hammed.

"Your majesty, it’s your body servant, she’s bleeding to death. We placed her at the infirmary. The healer said she might not make it...please, your highness..." her voice was racing and the genuine concern was evident on her face.

"I’ll be down in a minute." I told her " Now close the door on your way out." After she left I jumped out of my bed, wore my night shift and went to the infirmary.

"Conqueror." My healer greeted me and bowed.

"What’s wrong with her?" I inquired with an even tone.

"She suffers from internal bleeding, your majesty." He said.

"Are you sure she didn’t just get her moon cycle, or something?" I asked and approached her bed. I observed her; her face was white as a sheet.

"Yes I am, Conqueror." He responded. "I’ve examined her, it seems she suffered an ... internal injury...up her vaginal tunnel...due to ...hmmm....well...." he began stammering and I saw small drops of perspiration forming on his forehead. He was nervous. I lowered myself towards her. I launched my fingers to her body, giving her pressure points in her abdomen, cutting the flow of blood, in order to stop the internal bleeding.

"Everybody, out of here." I ordered "You," I pointed at the healer. "Stay outside the infirmary’s doors, I might need your help," I said with a sharp voice. They all left, leaving me alone with her.

She was so pale. I touched her forehead with my fingertips. She was so cold. She looked so small and helpless. She seemed so peaceful. She appeared to me to be so pure. She struck me as a broken angel.

I sat on the bed, next to her. I was hoping she would wake up. And soon enough, she did. Upon seeing me, she gasped, and covered her eyes with the back of her hand. She began chanting apologies for spoiling the performance.

A strange wave of feelings washed over me. I wanted to apologize to her. I wanted to tell her I was so sorry for being so brutal with her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and promise her I would never hurt her like that in the future. I could not bring myself to tell her any of those things. All I could manage was muttering "I was too hard on you," and a little pat on her head.

"Permission to speak, Conqueror." She whispered, her eyes still evading mine.

"Permission granted." I responded.

"What happened to me?" She asked.

"You passed out during service." I said and gently touched her chin with my fingers. I wanted to confront her gaze. "You suffered from internal bleeding. I used pressure points to stop the bleeding. You will be fine within a few days. I am confining you to your bedchamber for complete bed rest. You are to stay in bed, until I order you otherwise."

"Who will service you in my place, while I’m recuperating? " She asked with a faint voice.

"It’s none of your concern. Rest assured though, it won’t be your sister." I said. Although I didn’t mean it, my answer came harshly. I knew I wouldn’t take another body servant to replace her. I desired her, and her alone. The acknowledgment that she wasn’t dispensable to me bothered me. I pulled up her blanket and saw her naked body under it. I took the candle lamp from the table and illuminated her hips. I was appalled of the atrocities that were revealed to me. Her thighs covered with black and purplish color marks. She also had these marks on her opening. The gods know I saw plenty of revolting things during war. Nevertheless, at the sight of her marked body, I was disgusted by my own doings.

"I’m in so much pain, can her Majesty give me a sedative?" She pleaded, and for the first time since my return she looked me in the eyes. The fact that she didn’t ask for permission to speak didn’t escape me. It’s just that she was in so much pain that I didn’t want to hurt her anymore. I rose and went to the remedy closet and took out a little bottle. I poured a small amount of its contents into a spoon and sat back on the bed, next to her.

"Drink." I said. She opened her mouth and drank.

"Rest now.". Before she closed her eyes I picked up her right hand, closer to my eyes and felt it with my fingers a little, examining it.

"Don’t you ever help my servants with their labor again, you’ll end up getting the hands of a house maid. Your body is mine, slave, you have to maintain its softness so as not to sabotage the pleasure I derive from it. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Conqueror." She said humbly. I stood up and left the infirmary. I ordered two guards to get her upstairs, to her own bedchamber after she’s awake. I went back to my bedchamber and went to sleep.

From Gabrielle’s scrolls

It took ten days for me to recuperate from the injuries inflicted on me by Xena.

During those ten days, she occasionally visited me, checking up on me. Besides her, many of her other servants came to inquire on my state of health and healing process. But what lifted my spirit most of all, was the visit that the children, including Millus, paid me. Once, they visited me while the Conqueror was present in my bedchamber. They were standing at the door, frozen, then bowed before her. I lifted my gaze to the Conqueror. Asking her a question without uttering a word. She nodded.

"Come in." I cried to them. With hesitating small steps, they entered my bedchamber.

"Hello there, my little friends. How are you?" I asked as they were all standing to the left side of my bed. The conqueror was standing to my right.

"We’re fine, Gabrielle. How do you feel?" Millus asked.

"Better, Millus, much better. Have you done the homework I assigned to you?"

"We’ve already done all of them" Likus said.

"Very well" I said, and fondly stroked his hair. "That’s my kids"

"What is this I hear about, what ‘homework assignments?" The Conqueror asked me.

"I’m teaching them to read and write, your Majesty, if you approve" I answered, trying not to sound scared so as not to startle the already frightened children.

"Yeah, I guess it alright." she answered.

"Thank you, your Majesty."

"When are you going you get well, Gabrielle?" asked Millus.

"Soon, very soon." I assured.

"How were you injured, Gabrielle?" asked Millus. I looked at Xena, and she looked at me, waiting to hear my answer to this one.

"HmmmI fell down the stairs." I answered. I was so ashamed for sounding like a battered wife.

"Well, I’ll leave you and your little guests, I do have a kingdom to run." The Conqueror left. The children bowed at her departure. After she left, Millus turned to me and asked:

"What is your duty with the Conqueror? I mean, Likus’ father is her blacksmith, and his mother is a housemaid. How do you serve her? How come you don’t sleep in the servants quarters like the rest of us?" Asked Millus. Children have the habit of posing the most difficult questions. I didn’t know what to answer. I couldn’t let them know I was their Empress’ whore. I can’t subject young innocent souls to that kind of knowledge.

"I’m a bard. She keeps me as her storyteller. Every night she summons me to her bedchamber, and I tell her stories until she’s asleep." I lied. I hate doing it. I have been doing it a lot recently even to the woman I love. But there wasn’t a choice.

"I envy the Conqueror, she gets to hear your stories every night"

"Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that. She is by no means a person to be envious of."

"Yeah, Millus, She’s evil," Likus said.

"No, she is notShe’s...a hard woman. She has been through a lot in life. She has a dark side...nobody has shown her that there is another way. She just doesn’t know any better. Don’t be so quick to judge. I know she has done terrible, inexcusable things, but there was no one to reveal her light..." After these words silence descended upon my bedchamber.

"Perhaps you’ll reveal her light, Gabrielle. After all she likes you." Millus said.

"What did you say?" I was shocked.

"She does like you, Gabrielle. She never visited any of her servants who have taken ill. Two nights ago I came to your bedchamber, because I had a bad dream. I saw the Conqueror sit at your bedside, stroking your hair." I was amazed, hence, without the capability of responding. Children have the amazing ability to sense other people’s feelings. They are smarter than adults in this way. Although, many times they can’t put what they sense into the right words, they usually sense right. We all had this ability when we were young, however we all seem to lose it as we grow older.

"Come on, everybody, Gabrielle has to rest." Millus said to the others, and motioned them to get out.

"Thank you, Millus." I said.


Ten days after that miserable first night of service, I was up and about. Quickly, I learned about the Conqueror’s new tax act, the same one she issued in Britannia. I know Greece isn’t her last stop. She won’t stop until she’s conquered the entire known world.

It was raining heavily that night and thunderbolts were tearing up the sky. While darkness was falling, the Conqueror summoned me to her bedchamber. I had a pretty good idea as to what she wanted me for. I was so scared of what she might do to me. I opened her bedchamber’s door and stood at the threshold. The Conqueror was lying naked in her bed. The candles illuminated her glorious body. I feasted on her body with my eyes, even though I tried not to. I gazed from her feet to between her thighs, her black curls of femininity, her well-toned abdomen, her beautiful milky breasts, and her strong muscular shoulders. My hungry gaze stopped before it reached her face. I haven’t seen her naked in a very long time.

"Enter." She said, and for a brief moment I could see she was smiling. I entered as she ordered.

"Take off your clothing, little girl." I got undressed.

"Now come and lay down beside me" Her voice was husky and arousing. When she and I were lovers, Xena once made me come just by talking to me. Describing to the smallest of details, what she would do to me, with that erotic alto voice of hers.

"Come on, I won’t bite" She said playfully, rolled to her side and patted the empty side of the bed with her palm.

I approached her bed and placed myself beside her. She reached out her hand and planted it on the back of my neck, behind my earlobe. I felt her fingertips moving slowly downwards towards my collarbone. She captured my left breast in her hand and molded my nipple to hardness. I guess she was doing it to arouse herself. A moan almost escaped my mouth, but I managed to contain it. I remembered my mistress’ instructions, I’m here to pleasure her, not the other way around.

She didn’t kiss my body at all. She just laid herself on top of me. She started thrusting her hips against mine. Her sex grinding my right thigh and her left thigh grinding my sex. Her naked body against mine, the softness of her breasts pressed against mine. Her thigh rubbing my throbbing sex, her wetness on my thigh, they all sent me ablaze with passion. I wanted to touch her body with my hands, with my lips. I wanted to cup her breasts, to stroke them with my tongue, to feel her nipples toughening in my mouth. But I wasn’t allowed to. I felt an exploring hand reaching for my sex. I felt her fingers at my opening. As she was trying to penetrate me, I felt a sharp pain and my face gave my agony away.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked.

"Yes, my mistress, it still a little sore, I’m sorry..." I answered, my voice did not register above a whisper.

I felt her removing her fingers from my opening and resume her thrusting. I could not believe she was so considerate, but soon all coherent thoughts faded away, as she possessed me. Since I wasn’t allowed to gaze at her face during service, I turned my head to the left. And there, on the wall, I saw a large picture of the Conqueror. I kept looking at the painting, convincing myself it was almost as good as watching the face of the Conqueror herself.

The sense of cold metal against my fingers brought me from the paradise I had been. I felt it more with my fingers and realized it was a dagger that she kept under her pillow. My eyes widened and a strange feeling of fear enveloped me. By the Conqueror’s rhythm of thrusting I knew she was riding the wave that would carry her to orgasm. I knew she was vulnerable at this time. I knew I’d have a chance to kill her, now that she is obviously off guard. I grabbed the dagger and raised my hand and maneuvered it above her behind her back. All that was left to do now, was to stab it hard through her back and into her heart. I knew if I got this far without her noticing, I could proceed without her sensing it. I realized, if I killed her I would rid humanity of it greatest enemy and probably save many lives. But I love her more than life, so help me Zeus. I couldn’t bring myself to kill her, so, selfishly, ignoring ‘the greater good’, I spared the Conqueror’s life without her even knowing it. I returned the dagger to its place beneath her pillow.

She kept on grinding, faster and faster. I fought hard to suppress the climax that was impending at my sex. She finally climaxed. Right after she did, she dismounted me.

"Dismissed, little girl." Was all she said. But I was thankful she didn’t insist on me staying in her bedchamber, for I wanted to be at the privacy of my own bedchamber. To unload the sexual tension that had built up, in my own loins during my service to her.

I remember it was still raining outside when I left her bedchamber. I practically ran to my bedchamber, for my need was urgent. It was so urgent my center throbbed to the point of pain. I jumped onto my bed, lay down, placing my head where I usually placed my feet and vice versa, and spread my legs wide. I wiped Xena’s wetness from my thigh and rubbed it against my swollen nub. My gaze was fixated on the window above my bed. Since it was very dark and foggy outside, and since my bedchamber was lit with candles, I could not see what was outside. I could only see the reflection of my own room on the glass. I stimulated my clit with my right hand and pinched my nipples with my left. On my body, I could still feel the fire trails she left with her touch. I was close to climax, now. The pressure I placed upon my clit increased. So was the speed of the rubbing motions of my fingers against it. Orgasm came crashing hard on me. I wanted to shout out Xena’s name, but I knew she was lying in the next bedchamber and with her keen hearing she was bound to hear me. Little did I know I had been mistaken, for during my orgasm, as I was lying in my bed, pleasuring myself, a great lightning bolt illuminated the night. With a light, brighter than the one in my bedchamber, enabling me to see the Conqueror. She was sitting at the threshold, on the other side of my window, staring at me while I climaxed.

As I was lying in my bed, catching my breath, the things that Dana told me regarding the Conqueror’s other women came to mind. When we were lovers, Xena had never given me a reason not to trust her, as far as infidelity goes. I remember the jealousy fit I had when she was going to chin to kill the Green Dragon, Lao Ma’s child. I nearly got her killed for paying off the debt she owed to her dead former lover. She forgave me for it.

Wherever we went, people, both men and women, were eyeing my Xena and made advances towards her. It annoyed me and infuriated me to no end. The rudest of them all was this young Amazon, from my tribe that coveted her Queen’s Champion and courted Xena. Of course Xena turned her down on several occasions but seemed to be most amused by the whole situation. I remember we had a huge fight over this. Xena’s behavior, regarding her handling of the Amazon was without a flaw. Nevertheless I gave her a hard time with no reason, really. She wasn’t angry with me, and found my jealousy attack rather endearing and charming. She held me in her arms and told me she never loved nor would she ever, love anyone but me.

After the rift we had concerning Hope killing Solon, we separated for a while. We did stay together but under those circumstances we couldn’t bring ourselves to be lovers. There was too much pain and mistrust. It wasn’t easy for either one of us. Then she found that Raif guy, whom I hated at first sight. Xena flirted with him shamelessly in front of me. I was burning up inside. But I knew she was doing it to spite me and to punish me for all that had happened. So I had decided I wouldn’t play into her hands. and remained calm about it. Later, she asked me if I didn’t care anymore. I told her I knew all along that she was just doing it to see what my reaction would be. And since I am a woman, she can’t play those games with me, assuming I won’t see right through them.

I knew in my heart the Conqueror, for her part, didn’t commit adultery but the thought of her with other women was like a knife to the heart.


The next morning, I came down to the kitchen, for breakfast, I was hungry. Dana and I bid each other ‘good morning’. Without my asking, Dana poached two eggs for me. She also put cheese, bread and vegetables on my plate. I sat at the table. She placed my plate in front of me, on the table, and sat to my left.

"How was last night’s service, Gabrielle?" She asked, and placed a motherly hand on my arm.

"It went well, I think." I answered.

"Was she gentle with you, child?" She insisted.

"Amazingly enough, she was." I responded, and plunged my teeth into the bread.

"I am so relieved, I was worried sick about you." She said and went to the cool-cabin. She took out a bottle of milk and poured some into a basin. As she returned to the table I said:

"I have something to tell you, Dana, but you must swear to me you won’t tell another soul."

"I swear." She simply said, and handed me the basin and sat down again. I leaned towards her so that she would hear my whisperings.

"Last night, during service, I found a dagger under the Conqueror’s pillow. At one point, she was so caught up in...the act, that she hadn’t noticed, I held it above her back, able to stab her at any moment."

"But, I saw the Conqueror, alive and well this morning, so I guess you didn’t kill her..." She said, disappointed.

"No, Dana, I didn’t." I answered.

"By the gods, child, why not?" She asked, too loudly, I thought.

"Shhhh...I couldn’t." I whispered, looking around for peeled ears. There was no one in the kitchen but us.

"Why on earth, not? You know she is a brutal monster. The friend you once saw in her is gone, Gabrielle, you know that better than anyone."

"I know, Dana, but I just couldn’t...there is no excuse, forgive me."

"I think there is an excuse, I think, that for some twisted reason, you care for her. You know Gabrielle, just because she mounts you every night doesn’t mean that... ". She was giving me an accusing look, while she spoke.

"You’re right, I know it and yes, I do care about her." I said angrily, and slammed my fist on the table.

"But why? After all the despicable things she had done to you, why?"

"I don’t know." I finally muttered in frustration. I couldn’t tell Dana I was in love with the monstrous Conqueror that she and I used to be lovers. I was afraid she would think less of me, I was afraid the Conqueror might squeeze it out of her.

" Have you gotten word regarding your husband?" I said after a while and resumed a normal voice tone.

"No." Her face saddened.

"I am sorry." I said " But you must keep hoping, he might be alive. You can’t really know."

"I know." She said, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. Before she left she said: "And Gabrielle, I am not angry with you for not trying to kill her... I probably wouldn’t have the guts either...there is nothing to forgive."

"Thank you, Dana." I said. After I finished breakfast, leaving the plate nice and clean, I went back to my bedchamber to write.


From The Conqueror’s log

(Written by Xena the Conqueror)

At dinnertime, I ordered my plate to be brought to my bedchamber, unlike most of the times when I would dine in my dining hall. After a few minutes, my maid and my food - taster knocked on my door. I was busy, writing in this log. I didn’t even look at them come in. My maid left the tray on my table and left. The boy, however, stayed. He knew the drill. I was to watch him taste my food. I raised my head from the scroll and looked at him.

"Go ahead, I’m watching." I said. He tasted it with my own fork. It’s better to be safe than sorry. One cannot be too careful about these sorts of things. I waited to see whether there was any indication of poisoning. When I saw there were none, I ordered my food-taster to sit at my table, in front of me. He was surprised, for I have yet to order him to stay after he attended his duty.

"You seem to be my concu...Gabrielle’s friend." I began.

"That is correct, your Majesty." He answered. I could tell he was nervous.

"What do you think of her?" I asked and sliced the raw steak before me.

"I think she is a very good and kind woman." he answered.

" Do you know how she serves me, little boy?" I asked.

"Yes, Conqueror." He answered.

"Well, then?!" I encouraged him.

"She is her Majesty’s body slave." He innocently replied and looked at me. I was shocked. I expected him to tell me something, anything but this. I didn’t believe Gabrielle had told him, she wouldn’t subject herself to the shame, and him, to the promiscuity.

"Do you know how a body servant serves?" I asked. I figured, maybe he overheard the words but didn’t understand their meaning. I looked at him and he lowered his gaze and seemed ashamed and embarrassed. I immediately knew, that he had a pretty good idea. That he knew only too well what the duties were of a body servant.

"How did you find out about Gabrielle’s...duties?" I asked " Did Gabrielle tell you herself, or did someone else in my palace tell you?"

"I overheard Dana speaks to Lydia, the cook. At first I didn’t understand what a body servant was. I asked Dana, but she wouldn’t explain. Then, Gabrielle was injured. She told us she was injured due to falling down the stairs. I didn’t find it reasonable, for I didn’t see any bruises on her upper body at all, or on her legs. Then, I overheard her telling Lydia she was injured during service. That she suffered from internal bleeding. So I put two and two together."

"My, my, aren’t you the clever boy?" I was impressed.

I laid down my knife and fork and put my index finger on my chin. "Say, little boy, do you, by any chance, know what Gabrielle thinks of me?" I innocently asked.

"No, I don’t." he replied.

"Don’t you dare lie to me!" I snapped and slammed both my palms against the table and leaned closer to his face. He gasped, and went pale. He was shivering and looked terrified.

"I know you, little brat. I know you know about most things that are going on in my palace. I know you’ve been eavesdropping on adults’ conversations. You better tell me everything you know...or else..." I sneered, gripping him by his shirt with one hand, lifting him, and holding him in mid air above the chair he had been sitting on.

"I will tell her Majesty everything I know, on one condition." He said. I was amazed. A ten-year old boy, dares bargain with the Destroyer of Nations. Posing conditions...the audacity...

"Oh...and what’s that?" I asked.

"That her Majesty won’t kill Gabrielle, Dana or me. Do I have her Majesty’s word?" After a few moments of hesitation I said:

"Very well, you have my word." Then I placed him back on the chair and sat down myself. "Do you trust me?" I asked him.

"Everybody knows the worth of her Majesty’s word." He said. I moved my plate aside and said:


"I think Gabrielle cares for her Majesty." My eyes widened and then narrowed.

"What makes you think so?" I demanded to know.

"Well, I overheard Gabrielle and Dana talk this morning. They were talking in the kitchen. They didn’t know I was sitting under the food table. It seems that Gabrielle had found your Majesty’s dagger, under her pillow last night, during service. Her Majesty was...distracted and Gabrielle had the opportunity to kill her Majesty, but chose not to, and spared her Majesty’s life"

"I don’t believe this." I was shocked and so my words came out muffled.

"It’s true, her Majesty’s body servant had the discretion to kill her yet elected to spare her life." I couldn’t help but feel unsettled by the fact that a slave spared my life. The fact that she was Queen of the Amazons, for some reason, didn’t seem to make much difference. I would later remove the dagger from beneath my pillow. I tend not to make the same mistake twice. After all, she might have a change of heart one night and make a second attempt on my life.

"But why? After everything I’ve subjected her to, why?" I asked him. For a moment I forgot I was talking to a ten - year - old boy.

"Dana suggested to Gabrielle that she cared for your Majesty. Gabrielle said she did care for her Majesty." He said. " That day, in her bedchamber, after she was injured, she told us after her Majesty’s departure that her Majesty was a hard woman. That she had done awful things because her Majesty didn’t know any better. She said her Majesty had light alongside her darkness".

"That’s absurd, all of it. And she did not kill me because she was probably too terrified to go ahead and do the deed!" I yelled. "Go on, get out of here, little boy." I said, urgently.

There was another thing that conversation with the boy had taught me. That my servants are sticking their dirty noses into my affairs. In light of that notion, I issued curfew, meaning from two candlemarks after sundown till sunup in my palace, no one is to leave his or her quarters.

I finished my meal and summoned Gabrielle for service. The night before I had been very gentle and considerate with her. I knew however, that this night wouldn’t be the same. I wanted to have her forcefully. Though, not like I did the first night of service. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to do that. I guess it had something to do with that agitating notion that she might care for me. I just couldn’t believe it. I knew in my mind that it couldn’t be true. That it was so highly unreasonable, that it was down right preposterous. I knew that even if it was true, I must make it a lie, for if I have to choose between being loved or being’s safer being feared.

My most vivid memory, what turned me on to no limits, about the previous night, wasn’t what had happened during service. But rather what happened afterwards.

I knew Gabrielle had been aroused by me. I have caught her eyeing me several times in the past. Last night, I could feel her wetness on my thigh. I also noticed she was biting her lower lip. I knew it wasn’t the resolute of my hurting her, but rather of her suppressing her climax. I don’t allow her to come during service. I don’t want her to forget who controls her, who owns her, who is her master.

So, after service, I excused her and saw her fleeing my bedchamber and off to hers. I climbed from my bedchamber’s window to hers. I knew she couldn’t see me, but I did see her.... Her head was placed on the side of the bed where one places her feet, and her feet were placed were one places her head. She was lying in a spread eagle position. That position enabled me a clear view of her sexual core like I’ve never seen it before. It was totally exposed before my eyes. I saw her, wild with passion stroking her breasts, provoking her nipples. The desire was so evident on her...she looked like a hungry wild beast. I have never seen her like this before. I felt my own clit hardening. She wiped the large amount of wetness I left on her and smoothed it on her pink swollen clit. I could tell her orgasm was hard, for when it hit her, she lifted her legs in the air and arched her back. During it, a great lightning bolt lit up the night sky, and for a moment we locked eyes. She saw me watching her.

She arrived to service, just as I ordered. I whipped her with my whip, and ordered her to sex me with her tongue. After I came down from climax, a wave of desire to see her climaxing as well washed over me. I didn’t surrender to it, not yet. I did, however, stimulate her clitoris with my fingers. Just a little, though, so that she wouldn’t come, then immediately dismissed her. I saw her running to her bedchamber. I got out of my bed, climbed out my window, jumped to her bedchamber’s window, and watched her. I watched her move with such eroticism, while satisfying herself, touching herself.... She probably knew I was watching her, the same way I watched her the night before. Nevertheless, she rubbed her clit with her own fingers, and wasn’t ashamed to come before my eyes.

From Gabrielle’s scrolls

During a period of approximately three moons or so, the Conqueror enlarged her army by adding a few thousand men. She also required more armory and horses. Her goal was Rome and Caesar. She occupied herself with training her soldiers, and building up a strategy to conquer Rome. She knew Caesar was no fool. That he wasn’t a warlord or governor of a small village who would give up easily without a fight.

During these three moons my life as a body slave at the Conqueror’s palace had become a routine. I spent most of my mornings in my bedchamber, writing. When the sun was in the middle of the sky I would go out and meet the servant’s children. I went on teaching them to read and write, as well as some basic mathematics and geometry. They were all coming along nicely with their reading.

Yet my most clever and favorite student was, beyond a doubt, Millus, the Conqueror’s food-taster. He was like a son to me. Every night before going to sleep I would pray to the gods to bring my Xena back, and that no one would attempt poisoning her food. Since a lot has happened to him during his short life; the loss of both his parents, and being the Conqueror’s food-taster, he was very mature for his age. I found out that I could talk to him about almost anything, and judging from his responses I could tell he understood what I meant. Once, as we were sitting in the Conqueror’s gardens, he conveyed to me that he knew about my true duties with the Conqueror. He promised me he wouldn’t tell the others.

At nights, the Conqueror summoned me to her bedchamber. There were only a few nights she wasn’t totally violent with me. Most nights she was brutal and scarred my body badly. There were days I couldn’t even sit straight as a result of her ministrations to my rear with her phallus. The children probably thought I was undoubtedly the clumsiest woman in the known world, for I told them I fell down or bumped into something. Millus knew better and no matter what I said to him about it not being so bad, I couldn’t take the sorrow from his eyes.

The physical torments, however, were nothing compared to the humiliation she subjected me to. One that comes to mind is that evening when she was having supper in her dining hall. She sent one of her guards to summon me. Naturally, I was a bit puzzled, when instead of her bedchamber, I was led to the dining hall. When I entered her huge dining hall I saw four servants that attended her, catering to her every wish. Aside from them there were six guards, two posted on each entrance to the dining room. She ordered me to assume "the bitch position" and down to the floor I descended, standing on all four. She ordered me to service her with my tongue, beneath the table, while she was eating. All her other subjects that were present in her dining hall tried to avert their eyes so as to spare me the embarrassment, but the Conqueror ordered them to watch, and so they did.

After three moons of tedious preparations, the Conqueror went on her campaign to conquer Rome, as planned.

I was worried sick about her. I knew who Caesar was, that he once succeeded in killing my Xena and I was terrified he might succeed in doing it again. Needless to say, I missed her like crazy. Not a night went by without me dreaming of my Warrior Princess.


I haven’t heard a word from her in almost three moons. I’d rather suffer her brutal ministrations during service than not hearing from her. Then, a letter finally came from her. She announced she was now the Conqueror of Rome as well. She said she would be back within two days. Her letter came with a messenger, accompanied by Caesar’s head, which she ordered to be placed on a spear in front of her palace’s gates.

A night before she was due back, the kids implored me to tell them scary tales and play "hide and seek" in the palace during the night. I tried to explain to them that we couldn’t be out of our quarters at night because of the curfew. They tried reasoning that the Conqueror won’t be back until tomorrow and that none of the guards will "blow the whistle" on us, because they were all my friends and cared for me. They were so adorable that resisting them was beyond me.

Around midnight, I was sitting in a corridor, surrounded by my kids. I held a candle to my face and told them the scariest tale I had in my repertoire. We were all very much into it and didn’t see the Conqueror standing, stalking us from the other end of the corridor. I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, so I tilted up my head and saw her moving towards us. She drew out her sword and went on closing the gap between us. The way she was looked like she was hovering above the floor, not touching it with her feet. The children averted their gazes from me to the direction my gaze was. It seemed like they were nailed to floor. They didn’t move. The Conqueror cried out a horrific war cry that froze the blood in my veins.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES...RUN AWAY!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and stood up. The children started screaming and crying and fled the corridor terrified, into the various chambers. I knelt, and was on my knees by the time she reached me. She lifted up her sword and was ready to drive it trough me. But then Millus came between us. He held me tight, covering my body with his. I saw the blade coming down towards us, ready to claim our lives. Everything happened so fast, I froze and didn’t even push my dear Millus away from me. We both lifted our eyes to meet our executioner’s. I locked her blue eyes with mine.

Her sword stopped in mid air, half way to our bodies. She looked confused and somewhat off balance.

"Millus, get away from her." She said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"You’ll have to kill us both." He bravely defied her.

"I won’t kill her, you have my word." She said in an even voice and lowered her sword as if to show her intentions were truthful.

"Go on, Millus, it’s alright." I held him in a tight embrace, and then released him. He looked at me, as if seeking a final confirmation. I nodded, and he left. Occasionally turning his head, looking back at me, in order to see that I’m still alive and breathing .

From The Conqueror’s log

(Written by Xena the Conqueror)

Can’t stop loving you.

Can’t stop what’s coming,

Can’t stop what is on its way.

And I see it coming, and it’s on its way.

Tori Amos

I conquered Rome in three moons. Caesar was indeed a worthy opponent. I lost a quarter of my army. As I was fighting my way into Caesar’s palace I felt like I was swimming in an ocean of blood. Once I found Caesar, and after a candlemark of sword fighting, I severed his head from his shoulders and sent it to my kingdom. Along with an announcement of my victory and my imminent return.

I particularly remember one night, at my tent, while the war was going on. My second in command brought me a 15-year-old peasant girl, as some sort of a present, or better yet, an offering.

"I’ve noticed you haven’t taken a woman in two moons, since the beginning of the war. I thought you would be pleased in light of the opportunity to...shall we say...unload your needs. I know she isn’t as beautiful as your irritating blond body slave, but her parents assured me she was virtuous." He smiled in a very suggestive way and left.

"Take off your clothes." I said in a disturbing lack of enthusiasm. She had everything I desire in a woman, youth, innocence, fear and virginity. She did as I said and took off her clothing.

"Go and lay on the bedrolls and spread your legs wide." I said with the same tone as before, and began taking off my armor. I looked down at her and descended towards her naked, virgin body. I came very close to touching her. As a matter of fact, I came close enough to feel the heat that radiated from her flushed body. But something stopped me. Suddenly, Gabrielle appeared in my mind’s eye.

. I’ve realized it was her alone I wanted. I was incapable of bringing myself to taking another.

"Get up, get dressed and go home to your parents." I said to her as I was rising to my feet.

"Two of my soldiers will escort you home." I continued as my back was turned to her.

"Thank you, mighty Conqueror." She said. I didn’t even notice her dressing and leaving. At the time, I didn’t realize it, but now I know I was suppressing and denying the fact I missed my body slave, Gabrielle.

The night I came back to my palace in Greece I conquered something beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve conquered the world. But I am ahead of myself.

Upon my return, my maid welcomed me. I told her to draw me a bath, to send for Gabrielle and help her prepare for service. The maid drew me a bath and was off to fetch Gabrielle. I soaked myself in the hot water, cleaning my body from the filth of battle. After a short while, my maid returned to my bedchamber and informed me that Gabrielle was nowhere to be found.

I was filled with fury and battle lust. After all, I had been very clear about the instructions I gave her. She was to be at my disposal at all times. Now, I realized I came back to my palace a day before I was due. But I had issued a curfew, so that during the night, my entire household was to remain in their quarters. Nevertheless, Gabrielle wasn’t in hers. So I went to look for her in my palace, planning the punishment I would bestow upon her. I knew she didn’t run away for she was afraid I would kill her family as a worthy retribution.

I was astonished when I saw her sitting on the floor at the end of a corridor surrounded by the children of my servants. She was telling them a story of some sort. They all looked at her, fascinated by her, captivated by her. The most distinctive thing I’ve noticed about the children’s eyes, and Gabrielle’s was love. She was loved by them and in return - were loved by her. I felt a terrible pain in my heart. It was about to explode in my chest. It was a strange, unfamiliar sensation, one, I knew, I never felt before in my life.

Then, a moment of clarity nested in my mind, stifling all my demons. It was like the last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. The puzzle, being the chain of feelings and emotions that that woman, my body slave, evoked in me. As I was standing there I felt oceans of want, to be friends with her, to be casual with her, like those kids were with her. I wanted her to feel free with me and tell me everything that’s in her heart. I wish she would openly share her thoughts and feelings with me, and not just my bed. I wanted her to tell me stories, all sorts of stories, some which would make me laugh and some that would make me cry. I wanted her to hold me in her warm arms and kiss me. Gods, I wanted her to love me, for I am totally, undeniably and hopelessly in love with her.

That revelation, the insane jealousy I felt towards these children got the better of me. I wanted to kill all of them, including my beloved Gabrielle. For I knew that after all I have done to her, there was no chance in Tartarus she would love me back. I knew she desired my body, but I do not confuse desire with love. What frustrated me the most, was, knowing that she wasn’t the one to blame. It was my fault and mine alone. The words of young Millus started haunting me ‘She cares for your Majesty’. All I knew was, there were times I saw fear, pain and at times, lust toward me in the emerald bright eyes of hers. But never have I seen love. It fueled my desire to kill them all.

I drew out my sword and charged upon them. I saw the living day escape my beloved’s face. She urged the little boys to run away, and knelt. When I reached her, I lifted my sword in order to strike the deadly blow. Then, the most amazing thing happened. My food-taster threw himself at Gabrielle, defending her with his own petite body, with his own life. I then understood what Gabrielle had tried to explain to me, about being kind and good to people and be rewarded. He was willing to risk his life for her because she loved him and he loved her.

Not one of my soldiers would have done the same for me, should that kind of situation occur. Of course they risk their lives in battle for me, but the danger of being killed in war isn’t as imminent as when Xena the Conqueror has her sword to your throat. Besides, I dress them, feed them, and pay them well in return for their fighting my battles. Yet, if Caesar had his sword to my throat, none of my soldiers would have covered my body with his own.

My sword began its decent towards the bodies of my food-taster and the woman I loved more than life itself. However, it failed to reach its destination. For my sword was halted by her eyes. She told me with her look that I was about to commit the biggest mistake of my life. After I gave the boy my word I wouldn’t kill her, he left. I turned to Gabrielle.

"Go to my bedchamber and wait for me there, Gabrielle." She stood up and left.

I exited my palace. I felt like I was suffocating and in need of some fresh air. I needed to be alone before confronting her. To sort things out, to get a grip on my racing thoughts. I had to make sense of this madness. The moment I set foot outside, I did something I don’t remember doing in a very long time.

I cried.

Tears were uncontrollably streaming down my face, like rivers. The demons that possess my soul took me back, to all the times I took her forcefully, without mercy, without consent. To the times I caused her such tormenting pain. I’m not sure my own body could have endured. I don’t understand why she didn’t kill herself. After all, she probably would have gone to the Elysian Fields and that is definitely preferable to living here in Tartarus with me. They showed me all the scars I left on her exquisite body. One in particular - the word "XENA" I maliciously carved on her back the night I raped her like no animal in nature is capable, other than me. After the crying subsided, I returned to my bedchamber. The tune I used to sing at funeral pyres started playing in my head.

I opened my bedchamber’s door, feeling my legs go weak form under me, and an inconceivable pain in my heart. I saw Gabrielle sitting on my bed, naked. I guess she was lost in her thoughts as well, because she obviously didn’t hear me come in. She just sat there, exposed, looking downward at her feet.

I knelt before her, placing myself between her legs. I held her in my arms and leaned my head against her soft, warm breasts. I didn’t calculate my steps before entering my bedchamber. Up to the point I knelt before her, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I still wasn’t sure about not killing her.

"Hold me." My voice was broken, agonizing, and begging. She embraced me, one hand pressing my head to her breasts and the other pressing my fallen and slumped shoulders. I was trying to stifle my crying in my throat, but failed. All the sorrow in the world doesn’t add up to the amount of sorrow I felt that night, in her arms. I craved for death.

"Shh..." She soothed and rocked me "It’s alright" She whispered, "Don’t cry"

I don’t know how long it was before I realized she was crying as well and that her tears dropped to my forehead. If I told my second in command that I had been crying in my body slave’s bosom, he wouldn’t have believed it. Not even if I had my dagger to his throat and ordered him to. Then she lowered her head as close as she could to my ear and whispered four words to me I’ll never forget for as long as live.

"Enter me, my Champion"

I closed my eyes. I ripped my body from her as if a Bacchae bit me.

"By the gods..." I cried, "It was me. I was your lover?" My eyes were wide open in astonishment. I could tell she didn’t utter those particular words for no reason. They meant something to her, and I knew she had said them before.

"Yes, it was you." She simply said.

"What have I done to you..." I chanted those words, over and over again, as if I was possessed. I buried my head in my hands...the horror...There is no punishment worthy of the sins I have committed against this marvelous woman. I would kill and die for her to forgive me, but I knew I wasn’t worthy of it.

"Come and enter me, My Champion." Her soft voice cut threw my chanting and my heart. I saw her lying on the bed, looking at me and smiling the most brilliant smile. A smile bright enough to light the night sky. I rose up to my feet. I approached the bed and sat at her side. Her beautiful eyes didn’t forsake me. Not even for the briefest of moments.

"You are...the light, Gabrielle, the light of all lights." I wailed like the pathetic creature that I am.

"Shhh..." She silenced me, planting her fingers on my lips. " Tonight, I want to celebrate your return, Warrior." Gabrielle’s hand left my lips and moved behind my head, lowering it towards her, and kissing my lips ever so softly, almost tentatively. I have always considered myself to be the greatest lover in the known world, but the way she kissed me made me feel like an adolescent. I realized I knew how to have sex with people, but as far as making love to them, I didn’t have the slightest clue. My lips trembled, and tumbled against hers. Her kiss was the sweetest, most gentle kiss I have ever felt. The warmth that radiated from her pampering lips defrosted my soul.

"I can’t do this." I whispered, and turned my head so to mask my shame. She cupped my cheek and forced me to look at her. " I don’t know how to serve you." I mouthed.

"I don’t want you to serve me. You are not my servant,. You are my lover." She said. ‘My lover’, she said, in reference to me. I couldn’t believe my own ears. I sensed my heart stop beating.

"Your lover? " I asked. I needed to be sure I heard her correctly.

"Yes," She breathed.

"Then show me how. Teach me."

"Touch me the way you desire, that’s all there is to it." She laughed. She moved to a sitting position and disarmed me from my sword and chakram, dropping them on the floor. Then she skillfully rid me of my leathers. We were both naked now. She lay back on the pillows.

"I have missed you so much, my Champion. You cannot begin to grasp my longings for you." She said as if on the verge of crying. She spread her arms wide, inviting me into her. " I beg of you, enter me, my Champion, I can no longer stand your absence." I couldn’t resist her tears, her pleadings, her desperate longing for me, nor did I wish to. I laid myself on top of her, allowing myself, for the first time (Well, at least the first time I can remember) to give in to her warm and soft body, letting her scent, her being, and envelope and consume me.

We soon began to kiss again, exploring each other. I’ve never kissed her when she was in my service. I guess because I believed kissing was for weak and sappy people, not the Conqueror. Now, I know that I was afraid I would lose control. I felt her tongue stroking my lips, demanding entry. I parted my lips, willingly, allowing her tongue to conquer my mouth. I wanted to surrender completely to her. I rolled to the other side of the bed, not letting her go. My lips still pressed to hers. Now she was on top of me, for the first time. She ravished me. We were holding each other, still kissing like there was no tomorrow. Our tongues swirling around each other, courting, and offering themselves to each other. Our lips and tongues held and caressed each other. I have never felt such a rush, such exhilaration like when Gabrielle and I kissed. Not even when I Conquered Rome.

I cupped her left breast with my hand and swirled around the areola. Her nipple hardened without me even touching it. Gabrielle trailed down with her precious lips to my neck, sending jolts all over my body. She kneaded and kissed her way to my earlobe. I could feel her burning breath sending shivers down my spine.

"Tell me, warrior, have you taken other women forcefully, like you did me? " She raised her head and locked my eyes with hers. I didn’t expect it, this question caught me by surprise. "Rumor has it that you’ve been taking women during your battles and nightly escapades."

"No, Gabrielle I swear it. Since we were resurrected, I haven’t touched a woman other than you, forcefully or otherwise. I couldn’t."

I heard her sigh in relief, as if the world’s weight had been lifted off her shoulders. We kissed again, our tongues slowly bathing each other. The kiss enticed into a passionate one. I felt that even if I kissed her till my last day, I wouldn’t satisfy my thirst for her. I took her hands in mine, guiding them to my face. Smoothing them over my face and neck, without breaking eye contact. I lowered my hands and hers to my breasts and motioned her to cup them. My unquenchable desire and love compelled me to feel as much of her as possible. I believe she read my mind, for she gave me exactly what I needed. Her hands took life of their own and massaged my breasts, her fingers stroking and pinching my nipples to hardness. I involuntarily closed my eyes and gave in to the feeling, little whimpers escaping my throat.

"Wouldn’t you do the same for me?" She simply asked and smiled. I smiled back at her.

"Of course." I answered. I was indebted to her after all I had put her through, all I have denied her.

I was on top of her now, ravishing her body, kissing licking and sucking her neck, breasts and belly. I lowered my body while pinching my own nipple to erection. When it became hard, I rubbed it on her saturated nub, making Gabrielle moan aloud.

I craved to hear her speak my name, but she didn’t. I lowered myself on her body, still on my knees, and urged her with my hands to lift and bend her legs towards her breasts. When her knees almost touched her breasts I parted them as wide as her body allowed. Then, I placed my hips against hers, my center touching hers. I sent my hand to spread my sex folds and hers so that her clit and mine would touch. I began grinding my throbbing, saturated nub to hers. We both moaned aloud, looking into each other’s eyes. I’ve never allowed her to watch me during service before. I didn’t want her to look at me when in a vulnerable state. Now, I wanted nothing more than to have her look at me.

I kept on thrusting my swollen sex against hers in maddening slowness, not wanting that incredible sensation of her saturated erection against mine to end. I felt as if we were one. Too soon, I felt the waves of climax claiming me. I looked at her and saw her reaching her release as well. I felt her shuddering and convulsing beneath me. We climaxed simultaneously, and it lasted for a few long moments. She screamed out my name. It was bliss.

To feel her body shuddering and trembling upon reaching climax beneath me excited and thrilled me beyond belief. A thousand nights at her bedchamber window won’t equal that experience. It was the first time I have ever pleasured her to a point of release. Pleasuring her was as satisfying as being pleasured by her.

I collapsed onto her sweating body, my head resting on her breasts. I felt her small hand stroking my damp hair. We laid in that manner for several long moments, catching our breaths and regulating our heartbeats. We didn’t say a word to each other.

After a while, she moved me and I was on my back again. Gabrielle was on top of me now. She entered herself with her fingers, collecting her wetness and then smearing it on my breasts. Then she licked it from my breasts. At the sight of her doing it, my passion and desire for this woman peaked. My sex began to throb again and fresh wetness began to drip from me. Gabrielle kissed her way down my body towards my ever-inviting sex. She began licking my center, cupping my hips, from both sides with her warm hands. I had an enormous need to have her the same way.

"Bring yourself to me." I managed to say with a husky voice. She understood immediately, and did as I asked. She was now, straddling my face. She resumed her ministrations to my clit as I began mine to hers. We were like two lioness, devouring each other with unimaginable passion, roaring and moaning aloud with no power in the world great enough to make us stop. The sweet scent of her arousal, and the taste of it, made my erection harden even further. We soon climaxed together again.

We rested in each other’s arms again. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to. I realized I haven’t heard her say those words to me either. I believed she must have loved me in the past. All those sacrifices she told me she had made for me hadn’t been for nothing and most certainly not just for the sake of friendship. I’ve realized I couldn’t blame her for falling out of love with me. I’ve raped, brutalized, and humiliated both her and her family. I knew that what had just taken place in my bedchamber, at least in my eyes, was lovemaking.

I was terrified by the notion that to her, it was just sex. That her ministrations were just sex in her eyes, that like a good body slave, she had correctly read my needs this particular night and simply obliged.

The thought saddened me. I rose off my bed and went to stand by the window. Looking outside, I gazed down at the dark kingdom that I’ve conquered for myself. The tune I used to sing at pyres began hounding me again. Louder than before, clouding all rational thoughts.

"Get out, little girl, I’m done for tonight." I said harshly without even giving her the courtesy of a look. She grabbed her clothing and ran out of my bedchamber.

I blew out the candles, set myself into my comfortable armchair, and poured myself a goblet of ale, already tasted. I didn’t have the strength to think about anything, yet I felt my mind was clear, more than it has ever been. I emptied my goblet to my throat and poured myself yet another one. Tonight, I would relive the love I had made to Gabrielle. Treasuring every touch, cherishing every kiss, savoring every caress. Everything was so quiet and dark, only the pale light of the moon dared invade my bedchamber. Ten more of these goblets and I will be drunk. All my pain and frustration will be gone. I thought. I was almost too happy that I was about to dive into the abyss of oblivion, but I haven’t accomplished that task, for my bedchamber’s door opened. I decided that as a unique act of kindness and good will, I would pardon the obviously suicidal son of a Bacchae who dared barge in like that without knocking.

"Conqueror." I heard the sweet and familiar voice of Gabrielle.

"Come in, little girl, would you care to join me for a night cap?"

"Thank you, Conqueror, but I’d rather not." She answered "Would her Majesty allow me to talk to her?" she asked.

"Go ahead."

"First and foremost, I won’t let you to get drunk, do you hear me?" She said angrily.

"Why should you care, little girl. What’s it to you?" I muttered bitterly, trying to ignore her insolence.

"I care about you, Conqueror." She approached me, kneeling before me, raising those magnificent eyes of hers to me, placing her hands on my knees. Silence ruled my bedchamber for a while.

"What do you think happened here tonight, Conqueror?"

"Oh, about that...Brilliant performance there, little girl, you are, indisputably, the best fuck I’ve ever had." I said and clapped my hands.

"That was no performance, Conqueror, that was me, making love to the woman I love more than life." She sighed. I could see she was trembling. She cupped my wet face, as silent tears kept streaming down from my eyes. Oh those blissful words I thought.

The urge to tell her I loved her too arose in me for the second time tonight, but for some stupid reason I couldn’t. I guess it was fear, pride or gods know what.

"Do you really love me, then, Gabrielle?" I asked and smiled.

"Absolutely, Conqueror, absolutely." She smiled back and wiped the tears from my face. That was the happiest moment of my life. "And I’ll tell you something else, Conqueror, I want nothing more than going back to bed, and showing you how much I love you by making passionate love to you again." She said, ever so playfully, that I couldn’t contain my laughter. She took my hand in hers and we both went back to bed, together.

We made intense and passionate love, long after sunrise. Gabrielle took me to heights I never knew existed, with every kiss, word and touch she gave me. We finally drifted to sleep exhausted. She fell asleep before I did, and so just moments before slumber claimed me as well, I kissed her warm lips one more time and whispered:

"I love you, Gabrielle."

From Gabrielle’s scrolls

Don’t stop now what you’re doing,

What you’re doing, my ugly one.

It won’t be fair if I hate her,

If I hate her.

Tori Amos

On that fateful night, I entered the Conqueror’s bedchamber. I wasn’t sure what was about to befall me. I sensed something was coming over the Conqueror. I was surprised she didn’t kill young Millus and me on the spot. But I was even more surprised when she called me by my name when she ordered me to her bedchamber. For whenever there was a sexual encounter between the two of us she would call me "little girl", never by my name. I have grown to loathe these two words.

I got into her bedchamber, took off my clothes and waited for her. A candlemark went by till she entered the bedchamber. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t hear her come in. By the time I noticed her I thought she would beat me up for lack of obedience.

Saying that I wasn’t expecting it is a gross understatement. But there she was the great Conqueror, beautiful beyond belief, kneeling before me. She held me in her arms, practically squeezing me and leaning her head against my breasts. There was nothing sexual in her touch. She asked me to hold her. I was afraid. Afraid it was some sick and twisted game she was playing with me. Like a cat would with a mouse just before the kill. I saw this as punishment for not being available to her for service, especially after being in battle. I did as she asked with trembling hands. When she began to cry, that was when I knew, that wasn’t going to be a punishment of any sort.

I tried to calm her down, but she kept on crying. I couldn’t stand to see her cry. I never could. It had always broken my heart, seeing her cry, and this time was no different.

I cried as well. I’ve cried for her grief, her pain and her sorrow. I wanted to ease her suffering. Seeing her so broken, weak and trembling with tearsI guess that was what made me say those four words. The four words that I had always said to her before we made love. Back when we were lovers. Otherwise, I don’t know what possessed me to say to her:

"Enter me, my Champion."

My Xena is a smart woman, and so when she heard those words, she immediately realized what I’d been hiding from her for so long. She asked me whether it was her who had been my lover. I simply told her the truth. I felt like there was no point in lying to her about it anymore.

When she began saying "What have I done to you?" Over and over again, I realized I got her back. I have my wonderful woman back. I didn’t tell her I forgave her for the atrocities she inflicted on me. I knew it would take me some time to heal from the scars she left on both my body and my soul. I also knew we would have to talk about it. I didn’t think it was the right time. All I wanted to do was consummate with my goddess for the second time in my life.

I’ve missed her, longed for her loving touches. I wanted to celebrate our finding each other. And so, I urged her to enter me again and smiled at her hoping it would smite the darkness. I was lying in her bed. She came to me and sat beside me. I told her I wanted to celebrate her return. In more ways than one I thought. She told me I was the light of all lights, and I simply melted at her words.

In the past, during service, there was no place for initiation on my part. She demanded total submission from me, and was totally in control of her pleasure and me. In spite of it, I placed my hand behind her head and pulled her downward to my waiting lips. I planted soft kisses on her sweet lips.

A dreadful fear sneaked into my heart, that my body would fail me. That, because of what she had done to me, my body would reject her. Fear that I would be repulsed by her touch. I was terrified I would hate her. But as soon as she returned my kisses, as soon as I felt my beloved’s warm and thirsty lips, my fear faded away.

She suddenly and cruelly ripped her lips from mine. Xena conveyed to me that she couldn’t do this. That she didn’t know how to serve me. When she used the word ‘serve’, I realized that her world of concepts and mentality, were still the one of the Conqueror. It upset me, and almost angrily I said to her, that she wasn’t my servant, but my lover. She was so excited, like a little child, when she heard me calling her ‘my lover’.

When she asked me to teach her how to make love to me, I burst into laughter. The greatest, cockiest, most vain lover in the world was asking me to teach her how to make love to me. I have only been with two lovers in my life, Perdicus and Xena. I know that hardly qualifies me to conclude that Xena is the best lover in the world. But when she had made love to me in the past, she had given me the most exquisite, unimaginable and inconceivable pleasure. She had worshipped my body with hers, and I knew it didn’t get any better than that.

I undressed her. Upon seeing her naked and willing to make love to me, I began crying again and begged her to enter me. She laid herself gently on top of me. I think she was afraid she would hurt or break me. We started kissing again. I became bold, and asked entry to her mouth with my tongue. She indulged me. I haven’t kissed her irresistible lips in ages, it seemed. My yearning for them couldn’t be contented. She rolled over, lifting me on top of her. Xena cupped my breasts and stroked them tenderly. She hasn’t touched me like that in a long time, and so her touch made me so aroused that my nipple hardened without her even touching it.

I was almost too caught up in the whirlpool of passion and love, but jealousy and terror violently pulled me out. Just when my desire peaked higher than Mount Olympus, the rumor Dana told me about the Conqueror raping women surfaced. It occurred to me that if she indeed had committed those horrific deeds, I wouldn’t be able to go on and make love to her. I guess I was suppressing it until now, or thought I could handle it when the time came.

I asked her whether she had done those things or not. She looked almost offended, and swore to me that she hasn’t touched another other than me, since the resurrection. I was relieved. There was nothing more that could come between my love and me. We kissed passionately, like it was the first time, on Ulysses’ ship. Then, I realized this was all new to Xena, for she has no recollection of us ever being lovers. I made a mental note to tell her everything about our first night of lovemaking. Funny, for her it was our first time, for me it was our second first time.

When she took my hands in hers and moved them to her face, neck and breasts that put a stop to all coherent thoughts. I stroked her firm breasts, bringing them all the pleasure I could muster. I wanted her to touch me as well, so I dared ask her to love me too...not in so many words, though I was tempted. She obliged. She rolled me and I was on my back again. Xena laid on top of me, and began kissing my eyelids with a gentleness that surprised me. She went on pampering my nose and my cheeks with her lips. She than went down to my neck licking it with her warm wet tongue, kissing and kneading my flesh. I felt Xena’s breath on my skin making it tingle and sizzle. I thought she was leaving burns on my body.

I needed her lower, and just when I felt like I couldn’t take it any longer, her lips reached my breasts, making me growl with desire. She licked them, wetting them with her saliva, making me arch my back for excessive contact. She sucked them, gently, at first, but I knew my woman. The more she would suck them, the hungrier she’d get. She’d suck harder and harder until she’d make my nipples erect enough to her satisfaction.

Then, I saw her pinching her own nipple, making it reddish and hard. I knew what was coming, that she wasn’t doing it for her own pleasure, but for mine. Since I had been her lover before, I knew most of her pleasuring methods. But I have always assumed she had some more techniques she hadn’t introduced me to yet. When her nipple became hard enough, she lowered it to my sex, pushing deep and rubbing it hard against my throbbing center, giving me all the friction I needed. The craving for release was overwhelming and sweetly painful, but she didn’t let me come yet. Just when she felt I was getting too excited, she pulled back.

I was afraid she was playing an evil game with me again, and that she would not let me explode tonight. But then, she bent my knees and pushed them towards my breasts and spreading them apart. I felt her fingers parting my sex folds and then, at last, she pressed her large and swollen nub against mine. That used to be our favorite position. So Xena and I had decided to save it for special occasions like our birthdays and anniversaries, so that we wouldn’t go tired of it. Or damage the intensity of such incredible contact.

I guess this was a special occasion. She began slowly thrusting her slick clit to mine. The feeling of her slick warm bundle of flesh against my own made me feel I was burning up, consumed by lust and love. I felt our bodies melting into one another. I heard our moans and saw her eyes, staring at me, piercing my eyes, like all those times she had been watching me play with myself.

I was getting closer and closer to the edge and lusted explosion like never before in my life. I felt I didn’t have to ask for her permission, nor did I think she wouldn’t let me come. And so, when it came, I let go and welcomed it. As I did I screamed "XENA" as loud as I possibly could. Uttering the Conqueror’s name is down right blasphemy, but I knew in my heart she wouldn’t kill me for it, not now.

She reached her climax at the same time I did and I couldn’t deny myself the pleasure of seeing her come. Therefore, while I was screaming her name as I was climaxing, I watched her climax as well. Our orgasms seemed to go on and on for the longest of times. She looked gorgeous, wild and wet. Her convulsing, sweaty body collapsed on top of mine. Yes, my lover has definitely returned, I thought.

A few relaxed moments had passed, and the hunger arose in my loins again. I planted myself on top of Xena, straddling her waist. I plunged two fingers inside my soaked core and then pulled them out and smeared her supple breasts. She used to love it when I did it back then. So I wasn’t surprised when I got such an enthusiastic response from her, as I licked her milky breasts clean from my musk.

I saw desire in her eyes. I began descending with my mouth to her engorged clit. Seductively nibbling, biting and licking her abdomen, her waist, her navel, her inner thighs. Making her arch like a kitten and roar like a tiger. At last, I have reached her sex. I have penetrated her dripping wild core with my tongue, gathering her arousal and spreading it on her bundle of nerves. I licked and sucked her sex like a maniac. I wanted her to come all over my face so badly.

Than I heard her gasping "Bring yourself to me." I knew what she wanted. She wanted to drink from my well, too. I moved, straddled her face and placed my center on her mouth. I went on licking her sweet and aromatic clit, while she licked and sucked mine. I wanted her to come and deliver me some more of that warm erotic sexual juice. So I thrust my tongue harder and faster on her hard erection, feeling she was doing the same to me. Our climax hit us at the same time again, and hit hard. We soon rested in each other’s arms again.

After a while she got up and out of bed, stood by the window, and then said those awful words.

" Get out, little girl, I’m done for tonight." Those words stabbed my heart. All the physical pain she had inflicted on me throughout these past few moons, don’t even come close to the pain I felt in my heart. I felt my soul evaporating from my body. I felt I died at that moment.

I grabbed my clothes and ran away, naked, from her bedchamber.

She has committed the greatest betrayal against our love.

Other than grief, I felt rage. I felt I had nothing to lose anymore, I have lost everything to her; my body, for I was her body servant; my dignity, for she raped me; my heart, for I have loved her; and my soul, for she was my soul mate. And so, after I shed all the tears I possibly could, in my own bedchamber, I stormed into hers, indifferent to whether she would kill me or not.

There, in her bedchamber, at her feet, trembling like a single leaf hanging from a tree during a tempest, I told her I loved her. I saw the exhilaration in her soaked and bloodshot eyes, when I wiped the tears away. I smiled at her when she asked me whether I really loved her and I reassured her. Then I told her that I wanted to go back to bed again and make love to her some more in order to show her just how much I loved her. Her laughter was music to my ears.

We walked hand in hand together, back to bed and went on with our lovemaking for long candlemarks.

She didn’t say she loved me that night, but I knew she did love me, nonetheless.


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