The Daughter of Darkness

by Ashleth (ashlee224@aol.com)

Author's Note: I'm also an obsessive editor, so please see AO3 for the latest revisions (and faster updating). This story and others linked to it can be found at: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashleth224/works Thanks again!

Summary: The companion of “The Mother of Hope,” this will be a collection of vignettes centering around Hope’s experiences with and reflections on Gabrielle.

 

Chapter 1: Despair

Hope hid just outside the guest hut in the centaur village, waiting for the Amazon to leave too. Her ears perked up when she heard the voice she had missed so much speak her name. Drawn closer to the door that the boy and centaur had left partly ajar like a moth to a flame, she listened all the more closely.

“That’s what she was. She was my hope that, um, despite everything that had happened… This child was, was worth it all…”

What happened to you, mommy? the young girl desperately wanted to know. Then her mouth turned upward at the corners as she processed what her mother had said. So, that’s why she named me Hope. She did love me!

Despair, stop it. You are only setting yourself up to get hurt, her father overpowered her thoughts with his own.

Hope sniffled, feeling even worse when she heard the Amazon consoling Gabrielle about her child’s death. She thinks I died?

Because that is what your mother told her. That is what she really hoped for you. Now, I’ve allowed you this little side mission and worked it to my purposes, but do not lose focus.

The girl hung her head. Yes, father. I’m sorry.

It’s alright, dear one. Father only wants what’s best for you. He’s trying to protect you.

Yes, father. Hope bit her lip to keep in her grief and desire for her mother, not wanting to displease Dahak. She’d already been abandoned by one parent and couldn’t bear to lose the other.

“Xena gave me a wooden lamb last winter solstice. I gave it to Hope.”

With a soft gasp, she reached a hand into her bag and gripped the toy. This came from Xena? Suddenly, she wished to throw it to the ground and smash it underfoot.

I told you to get rid of it! Your mortal side makes you sentimental, Despair. It will only lead to-

“I know!” she hissed in a fit of temper, stamping the grass instead of the one thing she had of her mother. Just leave me alone! Hope wanted to say too.

So be it. You’re on your own.

No! Father, please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-

Billowing inside of her like an explosive flame, Dahak commanded, Then do as I tell you!

The child winced in pain and cowered from her own insides. Y-yes, father.

I’ll go now. Do not worry. You need to focus and not rouse suspicion. I need to do other things. The god’s unheard voice softened. But I will be here if you need me. As I always am.

Thank you, father. Hope lifted her hand to the door the Amazon had finally emerged from and took a deep breath before creeping into the hut.

#

 

Oh, she is even more beautiful than I remembered, Hope thought as she gazed upon Gabrielle from behind. The girl inhaled deeply to take in and hold the faint floral scent coming from the woman. Ruefully, she stared at shiny honey-blond tresses. Her eyes widened, and she pulled back her hand from reaching for it. Too, she briefly saw that hair flash in her mind, then a silver medallion, then Goewin’s blue face. Hope winced and almost staggered back from the vision before she got ahold of herself. But she was too late.

“Whoever you are, I know you’re there. So, come out! …Now!”

Frightened, wanting badly to apologize, to dash forward for a hug, and to scramble away without ever looking back, Hope slowly obeyed. She knows it’s me! She did want to kill me! Oh, father was right! Mother does hate me… Though she had secretly reveled at his absence, the feeling of being free from him for the first time ever, she also mourned the loss of him. Please, father, she thought weakly, come back…

But he did not.

Hope returned to Hope at the way her mother’s face fell, the surprise and regret showing all too clearly in her pretty eyes. Still, the girl kept up her timid act just in case. Please don’t yell at me anymore, mother. And don’t send me away…

Gabrielle seemed to able to read her daughter’s mind just like Dahak could. “Oh, I’m sorry! I; I’m not gonna hurt you…” But her words held sincerity that even young Hope knew her father’s did not. And rather than the pain she knew when he invaded her mind, the woman’s assessment came with a sense of soothing care. “What’s your name?”

Her child took a big step back from her approach. Hope could not trust the sweet smile, soft voice, or kind eyes seeking to destroy all her defenses; her father had warned her about them explicitly. “Fayla. Are you Xena; the Warrior Princess?”

The bard smiled as she shook her head, and Hope tried her hardest not to melt into her mother’s tenderness. “No, I’m not Xena. I’m Gabrielle.”

She doesn’t know it’s me. But she still loves me! Her own thoughts rebuked her in her father’s place. She cares about you because she doesn’t know it’s you! As soon as she finds out, she’ll scream at you, hit you, or worse. Be on guard.

“Xena’s a friend of mine. Maybe I can help you.”

Hope took a deep breath and then shook her head in an unwitting echo of her mother. And she did not retreat when Gabrielle came closer to her a second time. Remember your purpose. “It has to be Xena. The monster-lady made me promise.”

“Monster-lady?”

“She said she’d hurt me if I told anyone else. And she can. She’s a god!”

“Fayla…”

Don’t. Stay back. Don’t make me hurt you. …Don’t hurt me. Please.

“This monster-lady; did she tell you her name?”

Hope nodded for once. “Callisto.” Gaining strength from the shock, sadness, horror, and anger warring on her mother’s face rather than pitying it, she added to it. “Please don’t!” she cried when Gabrielle reached for her to either put a hand on her shoulder or wrap an arm around her. “I-I don’t know who she is to you, but please don’t hurt me because of her!” With great effort, the girl turned her face red until a few tears slipped down her cheeks. “Please don’t hit me!” She stumbled backward into the door, squeezing her eyes shut when she made contact with it, and lowered her head. “Please…” Her shoulders came up to her ears while her hands grasped the wood and metal behind her. Doesn’t feel good when people fear you and don’t want you, does it, mommy? But you deserve it more than me.

“Oh, Fayla,” Gabrielle said in the same mournful way she had said, “Oh, Hope,” not too long ago.

Mother and child felt their stomachs twist at the memory.

“Please don’t be afraid of me.” The woman tensed against the guilt wrenching at her heart and bubbling at the back of her throat when the child flinched into the door with a thump upon her picking up her staff. “I’m really not going to hurt you,” she said from behind her mask, turning her affect again to light sweetness. “Let’s, uh, go find Xena, alright? Come with me.”

Hope moved away from the door but would not let her mother touch her.

Gabrielle stopped trying. “I swear I’m not a monster,” she whispered, aggrieved, as they stepped out into the sunlight.

Yes, you are.

#

 

It took Hope more effort than she had expected not to pounce on Xena and rip the warrior’s throat out with her teeth on sight. She gritted her bulging jaw behind her mother’s back. As she relayed Callisto’s message, she again had to hide her emotions but was not as successful. “She told me to tell you that… she knows your little secret and; she’s gonna take it to the grave.” The dawning dread on her enemy’s face made her even more gleeful. Unable to fight that feeling down, she decided to retreat before it became too obvious. “That’s all. Now, can I go?” Hope turned to walk out on her mother just like Gabrielle had done to her months ago.

“Wait.”

The girl gasped quietly and felt every muscle in her body pull taut when her mother put her hands on her. She allowed the woman to push her down into a chair, heart leaping and stomach close behind it. In bliss, sickness, and fear she basked in her mother’s proximity.

“Here.”

Then she noticed Xena looking at her and how Gabrielle left her behind to return to the woman. She and I could have always been together like this if not for you. She’d never walk away from me if you didn’t make her. Yet again, she was fighting the urge to attack her mother’s friend while also projecting diffidence. You will lose that boy like you made mother lose me. Solan, is it? Better kiss him goodbye, she added after the adults began to talk amongst themselves as if she did not exist. Ixion caves? I’ll be there. …Father, I’m ready, Hope sent to Dahak before he transported her back to the underground temple where she had left Callisto.

#

 

“Tell me again how Xena looked when you told her that I’d take her precious little secret to the grave,” the goddess requested in dark pleasure.

Hope smirked. “Like she’d been stabbed through the heart with her own sword…” like she tried to stab me.

Callisto gave a muted squeal. “And that’s exactly how she’ll feel too when Solan dies; stabbed, stabbed through the heart…”

The girl’s own satisfaction diminished as the goddess dragged a brush through her scraggly mess of hair that was nothing like her mother’s. “Ow, that hurts!” she complained before getting lost in familiar longing for Gabrielle. As much as we have in common, and as much as you accept me, Callisto, you are not the one I want. Dreamily, she imagined the gentle mortal lovingly brushing her hair, making it like her own.

Her so-called monster-lady too continued to be adrift on the sea of her own tantalizing wishes. “Pierced to the soul with such exquisite pain…”

“Don’t!”

Oh, I wish I could’ve seen it-”

Stop!” In another adolescent fit of rage, Hope sent the hairbrush across the room with her mind. Rare delight from making someone afraid tingled under her skin. Then she worked to quell that which she desired since she still needed Callisto as an ally. “You’ll get your chance. Why do you think I freed you?”

“To make her suffer,” the blonde guessed, regaining her sense of impending gratification.

“To make her stop.” Switching from her own will to Dahak’s, Hope continued, “My father’s kingdom is at hand; the age of darkness when Dahak will snuff out the people Xena loves, ’til he’s crushed her very soul. And as she goes, so goes the world…” And I’ll be the one to strike the death blow when I kill mother. I will devour her right in front of the warrior-woman, she fantasized, truly relishing in her father’s plans as she let his influence overshadow her.

At last! You bring me great joy, Despair. Dahak allowed his daughter to bask in his approval for only a short time. Now, kill the boy. Bring the warrior to the point of her greatest vulnerability and then finish her so that she will no longer present an obstacle to my plans. Then sacrifice her in my name.

Yes, father.

#

 

But Hope couldn’t keep up that mindset for long. She took a detour from the caves, which she had not let Callisto know about, to first visit her mother.

Gabrielle let out a startled grunt when she knocked into her daughter.

Failing at her own game before it even began, the girl found herself looking down her mother’s top, felt her mouth water at the sudden remembrance of the exquisite taste and feel of that smooth flesh. Having her face smashed into the targets of her attention did not help matters. Scrambling to recover, she dropped the lamb figurine she’d been holding out for that purpose.

The pair stared at it before going to retrieve it at the same time.

Where did you get this?”

Not having expected borderline angry possessiveness from the woman, Hope snatched back her toy. “I didn’t steal it! It’s mine. It’s always been mine. The people who found me said so…” Her little orphan lost story mixed with the truth as she again worked to manipulate her mother. Then she gained more gratification when disbelieving realization filtered onto the face of another woman designated as her enemy.

“Found you?” Gabrielle echoed faintly.

 “They said it was in the basket with me. All’s I remember is… lots of water—” the act fell away in an instant, shown in Hope’s voice and her mother’s silent reaction to the shift— “me crying for my mom. But she never came,” the child concluded with authentic sadness and pain in her cadence and face.

Ephiny burst into the shop at just the right and wrong moment. “Gabrielle! Xena says to hurry; they’re ready to go. …Is there something wrong?” she asked, belatedly picking up on the tense atmosphere between her friend and a child she didn’t recognize.

Thankfully and alarmingly for Hope, her mother sent the Amazon away. “No. No, I’ll be right there.” Gabrielle once more hesitated before speaking.

What are you doing, Despair?

Playing her, father. It …was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted to lure her to your temple to sacrifice her to you too. To give you back your chosen one.

Dahak left her with only mild traces of appreciation, for he did not fully believe his child and let her know it.

Angry at her own weakness and betrayal of the only person in the world who ever loved her, Hope became cold toward her absentee parent.

“Look, um, there’s something that I have to do here …So, I want you to do a favor for me, okay? I want you to wait in my hut ’til I get back. And this way, I, I’ll know you’re safe.”

“Don’t see why you care,” the girl answered as she turned slightly away from Gabrielle, all but bearing her teeth between words.

“You will. Do you promise?”

“I promise,” she agreed before she could help it. But it’s all part of my plan, she lied to herself instead of to her father.

“Okay,” Gabrielle said to herself, softer than a breath before pausing. Then, carefully, briefly she stepped forward to hug the person she knew as her baby. “Bye,” she said, smiling in relief.

Turning her hatred outward, resenting the effect her true enemy had on her, Hope said, “Bye-bye… mommy,” in a spiteful sing-song tone.

#

 

Father! Hope cried in outraged surprise when Dahak did not leave the centaur to die beside her in the Ixion caves but teleported him into her mother’s path. Why? Now she’ll-

Know your true nature. This is a test that will work in our favor either way. Either she will still move to protect you from Xena when they figure out what you’ve done— and it really won’t be hard when they remember that you’re the only other one who knew about their plan to stash the boy in the caves— and gain herself the ire of her little friend, or she will move against you too and show her true nature; then you will stop pining for her once and for all.

Sulky and yet appreciative, Hope once again thought, Yes, father. She scowled when he left her alone in her weakness for the first time.

A short time later, Callisto came looking for her. “Hope. Hope? Are you here?” she whispered.

The girl smiled upon realizing that her father had sent her a helper; otherwise, Callisto wouldn’t have known where to go. Her grin widened when the blonde casually stepped over the bloody sword Hope had telekinetically thrown at the centaur.

“Hope! What’s happened?” the goddess asked more loudly, sassily when she found her quarry.

Hope grunted. “That half-assed old man! He caught me coming for Solan.” Attempting to exploit the immortal same as she had done to her mother, the girl played up her own pitifulness. A beseeching look on her sweet face and small hand reaching out, she wordlessly asked for help. 

Callisto was nothing like Gabrielle. “So, you had to kill him,” she said in her own version of a taunting sing-song. “And look what it’s done to you; meek as a little kitten. Which means, Solan; is mine!” Or she was exactly like Dahak’s chosen one.

Anguish surged through Hope at the sight of another woman walking out on her. Even worse, she was once again unable to stop it from happening. “No! You have to get me out of here!” she tried to speak Callisto’s language both orally and nonverbally, her facial expression and tone imitating combative threat as best she could in her drained state.

But it didn’t work. Amused and disbelieving, the blonde once more turned to leave.

So, Hope used her natural method of menace, cold calculation. “Leave me now, and join the rest of your puny gods when Dahak destroys them. Lose everything I promised; everything Dahak brings.” She kept up her poker face so as not to show her relief and contentment when Callisto returned to her.

“Well; what is a little more time?” the goddess asked before she plopped down next to the girl, wiggling and twitching around in carelessness. “And when you’re well; we’ll obliterate them all!”

Hope’s affect swung closer to what had worked after she threw the hairbrush across the underground temple. “No; better to crush their dreams; destroy their future…?” Hesitance faded away as she slipped back into evil glee. “We’ll kill what they love most; their children.” Callisto grinned too, and Hope knew she had her.

#

 

Sometime later, the girl shook head to foot just beyond the doorway of the guest hut, just as she had upon first reuniting with her mother.

Where have you been?” Gabrielle demanded in distress.

Her daughter smiled fleetingly upon being grabbed by the shoulders and nearly shaken.

“I have been looking all over for you!”

You went looking for me? Isn’t that far better than leaving me? Hope wondered as her own namesake sparked in her heart. She didn’t even feel the need to press the observation on her mother. Then the girl remembered to look sad and repentant, helpless.

“You said that you would wait here; remember?” Some of the woman’s vigor melted away as she took in her baby’s emotional turmoil.

“I’m sorry! B-but she wouldn’t let me! I tried to get away, but she-” becoming squeaky in her act, Hope was surprised, pleased, and then truly helpless when Gabrielle suddenly hugged her. The embrace was so warm, so strong and loving, that the girl wanted it to nesver end.

Her mother’s voice reflected her arms. “Who? Who; Callisto?” She nearly took Hope out by gripping and stroking her hair, then rubbing her back, every action filled with all the affection in the world.

The child nodded against her mother’s shoulder. Willingly and not, she admitted, “I have this power! To move things. …I don’t know why.” Then she reasserted her control by once again going after her mother’s heartstrings and guilt when the woman froze. “She says it’s; ’ cuz, I’m evil.”

Gabrielle pulled back to impress her opinion on her daughter. “That is a lie! You are not evil. Never believe that.”

Help me. Pity me. Love me, mommy, Hope begged with the angelic face she had inherited from the woman. Be sorry too. “My mother thought so. She tried to drown me in a basket. …She wanted me dead.”

Closer to tears than ever, infected by her baby’s mood, Gabrielle whispered, “Sh… she wasn’t trying to drown you. She was trying to save your life.”

“You weren’t there! You don’t know!” Admit it! Tell me the truth!

Despair…

Hope blocked out her father’s cautionary tone.

I do!” Her mother couldn’t speak for a moment and put her face in her hands. Then she came back stronger than ever. “The basket is all there was. I. I had to put you in it; or, I had to watch you be killed. Now, I had no choice.”

Still, She is lying to me, the girl worried.

She is lying to you, Dahak agreed. Be. Careful! he warned his daughter more sternly.

Then Gabrielle spoke the magic words that drowned him out entirely. “I loved you!”

Radiant buoyancy that her father could not even dream to put a dent in broke out in Hope’s heart. “You- you loved me?”

“I; I prayed that the gods would protect you; and they did.”

Hope once more marveled at the way her mother stroked and played with her hair since no one else had ever wanted to touch it. Even the queen of evil and irreverence herself, Callisto, couldn’t bear it and so had tried to brush it. The child fell ever faster and more uncontrollably for her mother.

“They brought you home,” Gabrielle finished in that breathy voice her baby loved so much. Her smile dazzled the girl. Then she knocked Dahak out in a KO when she wrapped her daughter in another ardent embrace overflowing with joy, grief, and unsurpassable yearning.

“We have to go. I’m sorry, mommy; it was me! I helped Callisto get out. And now she’s coming for the kids. We have to go! Come on; hurry!” Hope tried to run away with her mother, ready to abandon everything else— her plan, Solan, Callisto, Xena, even her father. She blinked in surprise at being jerked back and spun around.

“No, wait! Wait, wait; wait. …Xena has to know this.”

And just like that, the illusion fell away.

“No! Xena hates me!” Hope tried to recapture it.

What did I tell you, Despair? Even if your mother does love you, she will never love you as much as she loves that warrior-woman. Any and every time, she will choose Xena over you. Why do you think she put a defenseless newborn into a basket that could have easily sunk rather than walk away from the most capable mortal warrior known the world over? I tell you; this snake will never love you like she loves Xena. Give it up and return to me. If you stay with her, you will end up dead. Only I will protect you, Despair.

Even without her father’s interference, Hope knew he was right. Too, she let it show on her face as her mother spoke to her— “She doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t understand. Now, she will see what I’ve known all along, that you can fight your dark side, just like her.”— Disappointment and hopelessness shone through all else. You were right, father. I’m not Hope, but Despair. And that is what I will bring this woman. She will suffer for her transgressions against us. She is the betrayer!

That’s my girl. Now you understand; do not let her. Bring her to me. I like your idea of luring her to my temple again. Persuade her into believing that it is the only safe place for you from Callisto and do not let her tell Xena, so that the warrior will follow. Then sacrifice them both in my name. His voice laughed shortly. You’re a good girl who makes her father proud, Despair. Return to me.

Yes, father. And I will use your plan. I will trick her into helping me kill Xena’s son so that Xena blames her. They will both pay for all they’ve done to me. T-to us!

That they will.

“But I’m scared! If Callisto finds out I told, she’ll kill me! She will!”

“She will not find out. I will take you to the safest place there is; until we can go. Okay?”

“Safest place? You promise?”

“I cross my heart. Don’t be afraid, okay? Now, come with me. Let’s go.”

Liberation replaced the joy in Hope’s chest, for when Gabrielle put an arm around her, she barely felt it.

#

 

“Mommy, she’s coming! I can feel it! Don’t let her get me!” the girl feigned panicking close to Kaleipus’s hut.

Her mother reacted immediately. “Where?” she asked, twirling her staff and turning away from Hope to protect her baby’s back.

“She’s over there!” Hope cried, pointing off into the distance.

And just as she had predicted, Gabrielle pushed her toward the hut without looking. “Get inside! I’ll fend her off. …Callisto!” she cried as she ran off to fight nothingness.

Full of dark purpose and satisfaction upon closing the door behind herself, her daughter unnecessarily asked, “Solan?”

The sweet, good-looking boy looked up at her from packing his satchel. Confused and surprised, he questioned more than answered, “That’s right…?”

Hope snorted. “‘Safest place there is,’” she mocked her mother. Then she reverse-orphaned another mother.

#

 

While Callisto gloried in Xena’s screams at finding the body, and Hope enjoyed them too, she exulted most in her mother’s quiet despair. Guess I’m evil after all, eh, mommy? That’s right. I’m not yours! I’m father’s. And soon you will be father’s too. She frowned when Gabrielle trudged into an apothecary. She’s buying poison, the girl noticed. For herself? This, I’ve got to see!

Despair!

Truly, father, I only want to see her suffer.

Your wants are unreliable! he rightfully rebuked her. Child of mine though you are, you are still a capricious child. Moreso than usual, now that you are coming to your teen stage. Modifying his tone to affect concern rather than derision, Dahak told Hope, I do not blame you, dear one, but think it best you get away for a while until you get through it. Wait a month until you reach adulthood. You’ve achieved your primary objective of killing the boy; Callisto-

Callisto is a fool. She can’t kill them. Xena will kill her first. And she’ll destroy mother before I get the chance. Mother is weak. That’s why she ‘loves’ me best when I snivel; she sees herself in me in those moments. Yes, Xena will crush her in an instant for this. Sincerely, his daughter’s tone was one of not wanting to lose an opportunity for vengeance rather than petition for Gabrielle’s sale. Please let me do it, father. This way, we can be sure she is sacrificed to you.

I strongly advise against it. NO! the evil god realized in an instant. She knows what you’ve done. That poison is for you!

Hope laughed. Oh, father. ‘Mommy’ is much too ‘good’ and sentimental for that. She loves me! I’ll show you!

Despair!

But Hope had already entered the guest hut yet again. “Mommy?”

#

 

“I know. But it was awful. I couldn’t stay there! I was scared!” Surging misgiving spread throughout the child when she threw herself upon Gabrielle, trying to prove to herself that she wasn’t affected by her mother’s warmth anymore, only to find her mother the one unmoved.

The woman stood still while her daughter embraced her. Even when she started to lean over the girl to rest her chin on the ratty hair, she straightened once more. “Why? What did you do?” she asked in a way that held a soft but obvious accusation.

“I ran! As soon I got there and saw that boy dead; I ran and hid!” Hope swallowed hard when her mother pushed her away.

“Hope. Are you saying that he was already dead when you entered the hut?”

Who’s Hope? the girl thought to ask to further play up her innocence but didn’t. “I thought Callisto did it. So, I got scared and ran away.” Knowing her lies were winning her gullible mother over and further what affected her most, Hope put on her most pitiful, pleading expression, even going as far as to quiver her chin. Success! Her gladness redoubled when her mother pulled her forward into a bear hug and missed her obvious relief. And she rejoiced to be embraced again. Because it means I’ve won! Not that it feels good, she lied to herself anew.

“Oh, of course! It had to be Callisto! You said that she’s after the children, right?”

“She is! So, please; can we go now?”

Gabrielle sighed and grinned in tearful relief too. She also hugged her child all the tighter.

“I don’t wanna die like Solan.”

Despair! Dahak rebuked Hope at the same time she and her mother felt the same thing.

“How did you know his name was Solan?”

“Y-you; you said so. Remember? Now, please, can we go?”

“Yes. Yes, we’ll go.” Though Gabrielle knew the truth, she could not let go of her Hope.

Tell her you overheard Xena and the centaur say it! Tell her-

The girl drew away from her mother. “NO!” she cried.

“What’s wrong?” Gabrielle asked in surprise. Then she glanced around wildly. “Is it Callisto?”

“No, it’s you!” Hope keened, thrusting out an accusing finger and beginning to cry in earnest. “You’re going to hurt me; I can tell!”

“Ho-”

She cowered when the woman moved to once more gather her baby in her arms. “You blame me! You think I did it!” Before Gabrielle could interrupt, Hope maintained, “You’re going to beat me like the people who found me did!”

“Beat you? People who found you?” the bard repeated breathlessly as the little remaining color drained from her face.

“All the time, mommy! Any time something went wrong, they said it was my fault. If an animal died or someone got hurt, it was my fault; if the rain didn’t come in, it was my fault; when too much rain fell and endangered the crops, it was my fault! I was the source of all their problems, and they made me feel it every day!”

Fury sparked behind flinty eyes. “Who? Wh-”

“The people you gave me to, mother! M-mommy,” she amended a second later, snapping her chin to her chest and closing her eyes. “I’m sorry. Go ahead and slap me. I know the rule about talking back.” Hope flinched when her mother cupped her cheek rather than strike it.

“Oh, Hope…”

The child shook her head. “Don’t be sad, mommy. I know better. …Oh! I yelled too. That’s a lashing with the belt, isn’t it?” Head still down, she nodded to herself before beginning to lift her messenger bag over her head. Again, she flinched from her mother’s staying hands. “No? The whip?” Blue eyes regarded green-blue ones. “Please don’t use the whip, mommy. I won’t yell again. …I didn’t mean to! I just got scared. …Please don’t whip me,” she whispered emptily. As a last-ditch effort to avoid her mother’s suspicion, she said, “I came all the way across the sea to find you, mommy, in hopes you’d keep me safe. Please don’t be angry with me. Don’t hate me. …D-don’t hurt me. Please.”

“I’m not going to hit you,” Gabrielle vowed. “Ever.” For the last time, she pulled her baby into an embrace. “You were right. Let’s get out of here. I’m not taking any chances that Xena won’t hurt you too.”

“Really?” Beaming as she sniffled, the daughter of darkness tried to look her mother in the face.

The woman held her all the closer, still not ready to release her hope. “Yes, baby. Let’s go.” Passing off her despondency as resolution, Gabrielle caved to reality, well-knowing the seasons and that there was not enough time for them to change as Hope described and then for the girl to travel to Greece from Brittania in a mere two months, among other things.

“Okay, mommy.” So smug in the belief of having tricked her mother so well yet again, Hope did not notice that Gabrielle did not retrieve her staff to bring on the journey.

 

 

Chapter 2: Reform

 

Hope returned to the cave where she had freed Callisto. The girl passed her hand over a crevice in the rocks to bring forth a sucking vortex that had no effect on her. Plunging her hand into it, she retrieved a different blond goddess.

Aphrodite screamed on sight at the mass of charred keloid skin before her and nearly stumbled back into the blue hole from whence she had come. She winced but smiled in thanks when the grip on her arm tightened and the swirling light behind her went dark.

“Looks terrible, doesn’t it? Feels worse,” Hope said with that chilling voice of hers. Empty and yet full of heartache, she released the deity but left her hand up between them to study it. There could not be a bigger contrast between her appearance and that of the epitome of beauty, not to mention, vanity; Hope braced herself for rejection. Tears burned in her eyes as she began to feel how truly ugly and even less desirable she had become.

The goddess stared soundlessly before laying a gentle hand on the child’s cheek. “What happened to you?” she asked in the genuine sympathy she had learned from Gabrielle.

The girl leaned into her touch. “Mother burned me. Poisoned me and burned me; then walked away from me. Just like she did on the river.” Hope threw off Aphrodite’s hand.

“River? Mother?” Aphrodite echoed distractedly for a moment. “Hope? Gab- Gabby would never-”

“She did,” the daughter of darkness answered in cold confirmation, squaring her shoulders and losing all emotion from her face and voice. “But never mind her. You helped me the first time she abandoned me. Will you help me now?”

Aphrodite continued staring, open-mouthed. “What can I do?” she asked at long last.

Hope wasn’t entirely sure. “I … don’t know. But I need to—” she stoically peeled a section of ashen skin from the back of her hand, staring at the white, then pink gash as blood welled up over it— “regain what was lost.”

“Oh, sweet pea…”

“Maybe if I were beautiful, more like her, mother would love me,” the girl accidentally mused aloud.

“You are beautiful!” Aphrodite lied through her teeth though she meant it in her heart. “Haven’t you ever heard that the ugliest ducklings become the most beautiful swans? Oops… sorry!” A grin brightened her gorgeous face.

“You mock me!” Hope waved a hand to reopen the vortex.

“No, never! I didn’t mean that like it sounded! I was actually making fun of myself. I’m a dumb blonde; everyone knows that!” The goddess smiled in even greater nervousness.

The girl reached up to strangle Aphrodite before redirecting her ruined hand to the deity’s shoulder and squeezing it. “Will you help me or not?”

“Of course! I’d love to! I… just don’t know how. Let me think.” The deity brushed past Hope to get away from the stormy portal before pacing under the girl’s close watch. “Something keeps flashing in my, h-heh-heh, empty head. Mothers in my temple often tell their pimply daughters that all girls are like butterflies. Given enough time”— a pale imitation of her usual naughty grin lit her lovely face— “and enough prayer to moi in the case of mortals, grody caterpillars become glorious butterflies, some of the prettiest creatures on Earth! ...No?” She returned to power-walking back and forth across the rocky terrain in rising agitation at Hope’s lack of response one way or the other.

The girl smirked at the goddess of love’s unblemished back, amused at having unsettled her so.

Wringing her hands, Aphrodite made herself keep talking. “A-adolescence is tough for all mortals, you know! Most kids go through stages of having bad- um, bad skin… at this… age.” Bright blue eyes shone with apologetic doubt as they sought Hope’s similarly colored orbs but could not complete their mission because the usually brash, self-assured blonde twisted away in cringing fright a second after the words were out of her mouth. “I’m s-”

“Mother gave me more than a face-full of acne, Aphrodite,” Hope said condescendingly. Still, she took on a bemused expression as she got lost in thought.

“P-perhaps. But we are more than just any mortals! I’m sure we could come up with something!”

“Make me a cocoon like the butterflies have!” came a sharp command. A snap of fingers closed the vortex too.

Aphrodite whirled around on her heel. “A c-”

“Yes. One that will melt my flesh and let it reform whole and new. Fill my cocoon with all the potions you and your priestesses use to look like this”— Hope’s hand gestured the majesty before her up and down.

“But what-”

“Father will supply whatever power you can’t. Just do it before he intervenes! Hurry!” Loath to tip Dahak off to her foolishness, Hope fortified her thin mental barrier to him, hoping he would not notice it. She figured her chances were pretty good; he had not returned to her since Callisto’s latest failure.

“S-sure thing, sweet pea! Right away!” With that, Aphrodite waved a hand over the girl and put her into a chrysalis that she secretly hoped would never open. But she knew that she could not be too overt with her wishes and spells, lest Dahak strike against her a second time. So, using Hope’s wish in her favor, the goddess added her own essence and that of the child’s mother to the mixture of beauty products, sure she could pass the former off as her signature and the latter to following orders. Then she stumbled back from the unexpected draw on her power. In a moment, she knew that the source of the drain was not from her current spell, but an older one. She shimmered out to find Gabrielle at once.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3: Vivisection

 

Hours after her mother tackled her into the lava pit, Hope erupted from it in a pillar of flame.

Only one living thing remained in her father’s darkened temple. The lump curled up on the floor before the pit stirred weakly. Black fury marred its face when its fluttering eyelashes snapped apart. Jumping and contorting into a crouching position, Seraphin prepared herself to kill her childhood friend.

Hope sent the mortal away with the flick of a wrist the second the zealot leapt up to shove whom she took as Gabrielle back to her death. “Peace, priestess,” the daughter of darkness muttered.

“Goddess!” Seraphin cried, instantly lighting up where she lay in a heap on the floor, a smear of blood from her side creating a trail to her. She again shot to her feet and then further jumped for joy. “I knew that betrayer couldn’t finish you!”

“Yeah, betrayer,” Hope agreed dully. Her face slumped into her hands as she released a weary sigh.

The bubbly blonde lost her spark of life. “Oh, goddess. I’m so sorry.” Her instinct to hug her lord made the recipient of her intended affection jolt backward.

“Don’t, you fool!” Hope hissed through gritted teeth. She could not stop her wild eyes from darting to the hell-mouth behind her.

“Oh, goddess. I am nothing like her. I want to serve you, worship you-”

“Nourish me?” she asked through a wry smirk.

The banshees in Brittania had claimed the same thing when little Hope tramped through their forest on her way to find passage to Greece. Apparently, they had given the same offer to her mother.

“Oh! Sure, goddess!” Snatching up a fallen dagger from the stone floor, Seraphin made to slash her own forearm so that she could fulfill her title as priestess of the blood even more for the object of her devotion.

“Don’t!” Hope repeated. She telekinetically sent the blade across the temple for good measure. “I’m not a monster, you know. That’s mother.” Tears glittered in her lowered eyes until she noticed her own slightly protruding abdomen. Tenderly, she lay a hand on her percolating son. “And soon I will be a mother. I will replace her.”

“You’re going to be a mother?” the mortal echoed joyfully. “Oh, goddess! How wonderful!”

The demigoddess bared her teeth, suppressing a growl, when Seraphin dropped to her knees to press an ear to her belly. “Wonderful,” Hope echoed dryly. “I must go into seclusion to birth this child.” Lost hesitance seeped into her voice when she wondered, “Where will I go?”

“Home to Potadeia!” Seraphin answered at once, yet again leaping to her feet. “Oh, goddess, it would be such an honor to-”

Hope waved a hand between herself and Seraphin without using her powers. Pleased to have earned her desired quiet and with the girl’s idea, she agreed. “Yes. You must take me there. And you must attend to me in preparation for this child.”

“At your service, goddess! I will do-”

Again, the deity stopped Seraphin’s ever-running mouth with a single gesture. “You are to call me—” teeth gritting into another grimace even as pleasure warmed her cheeks, Hope made and let herself say— “Gabrielle. You must act like I am her. …And tell me all about her, her family, and the town along the way.” She tensed as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

But Dahak did not encroach upon his child’s thoughts. Satisfied that he had reeducated her well enough to keep her in line, he had left her upon planting her back on solid ground within his temple. He would only return to her once she went into labor with The Destroyer.

Hope smiled about his departure even as it worried her. Not only was she slightly afraid to walk without him, she knew herself to be weak to temptation as far as her mother was concerned. Her father had well impressed that fact upon her though she had already known it. Without his continual rebukes, how would she keep her desire for the betrayer in check? But I am just asking about mother so that I will know how to emulate her. I have no more affection for that viper. For once, the thought did not feel so hollow.

#

 

“My mother’s name is Hecuba; my father is Herodotus; and my sister is Lila,” Hope recited more information that had been drilled into her. “Is that correct?”

“Yes, goddess. I mean, Gabrielle. You’re so incredible!”

She both rolled her eyes and quirked her lips at the ever-effusive praise. Then Hope shook herself. “Do you talk to Gabrielle in such a way? If not, then you need to stop. I will not have you ruining my father’s plans like all the others!”

Seraphin took on a kicked puppy look that simultaneously filled her goddess with sinister gratification, discomfort, and remorse. “Forgive me, goddess. I- I just-”

Hope put more effort into playing her role as well. Effecting her mother’s sweet voice, she asked, “Just what, Seraphin?” She had to bite the inside of her cheek to avoid eviscerating her disciple at the obvious shiver of pleasure that shook her crown to sole at the sound of her own name.

The girl beamed. “I’ve just waited for this day for so long! How I wished to serve you, meet and talk with you! And now, here we are, traveling along like close friends a-”

Images of Gabrielle following Xena seared the inside of Hope’s skull. “Well, we’re not friends! Get that into your empty head, girl!” she growled in her natural, gravelly voice.

Seraphin flinched and then lowered her head as if struck across the face. “Yes, goddess. Forgive me, goddess. …Please.”

Once more, Hope forced herself to be kind. “You’re a good kid,” she said with a fake smile as she put an arm around the girl’s shoulders. “Let the little children come to me, for theirs is the kingdom of Dahak,” she subverted holy scripture just as Khrafstar and her father did. Then she stopped dead in her tracks. “No,” Hope said in a low curse. “Be gone. You are not welcome here.”

Her devotee looked to her in devastation, but Hope pushed her aside with a quick shake of her head.

Ares appeared in white and purple flash. “There you are!” he said jovially. “I was beginning to get worried.”

“Be gone, Ares,” Hope said again, glaring at him. Then she stepped forward to invade his personal space. “Where is the Hind’s blood dagger? I ought to use it on you now!”

The god of war rolled his eyes with a faux-comedic sigh. “Athena teleported it somewhere after Xena gutted Callisto with it and nearly turned it on me. She won’t disclose the location. Said it’d be unwise, and that goes against her whole thing, so-”

“Ca-” Hope tamped down on her passing grief and bitter disappointment to rev back up in fury. “So, you are just as useless as before!”

The father of her unborn child took on a feigned hurt look, stumbling back from her as if punched in the gut, hands clutching it, before throwing his head back to laugh. “Now is that any way to talk to your baby-daddy? You didn’t think I was so useless when you were riding me like a-”

Silence, fool!” A crash of thunder punctuated Hope’s statement and brought real fear to her latest enemy’s eyes. “You have served your purpose and nothing more. You told me that-” She shook her head. “What you say does not matter. You were wrong, and you failed. My father does not take such lapses lightly. Nor is he too pleased with you for letting that little viper-” Heartache caught her voice in her throat.

“Hello, fire! She was tackling you into it just like she tried to cremate you back then. I knew daddy-o would save you! Wh-”

“What you really cared about was Xena. What is it about that tramp that makes you all love her so?” That hatred, Hope could not keep under wraps. “She will die by my hand, and you will watch, Ares. You will not interfere on her behalf again. Instead, you will fall on your knees and beg my father for forgiveness. Now, go!” She did not give him a choice. Banishing him into a lightning strike to go with the boom of thunder, Hope gave Ares over to Dahak. Do not kill him, father. I want him to help me feed Xena to our son. She will be The Destroyer’s first meal, and as she goes, so goes the world! she echoed her childish taunt to Callisto.

Another frown marred Hope’s face. I had plans for that little fool. Curse you, Xena! And, Athena? Bah! This Greek pantheon has to go. I will not rest until every last one of them is brought under your will, father.

#

 

Hope grimaced as she downed another goblet-full of the prenatal potion her father had prescribed to her.

Seraphin had made it to caustic perfection yet again. The priestess’s own blood mixed with plant roots, melted gems, and animal parts to create a disgusting concoction that The Destroyer thrived upon; only days after being conceived, he had already swelled to twice the size of a human newborn. Thus, the makeshift midwife had other duties that would have been The Deliverer’s twice over had he lived long enough to fulfill them. The zealot’s practiced hands helped Hope lean back and then lift her feet to flank her behind.

The demigoddess grimaced anew. Though she was willing to sacrifice her own comfort and dignity for her son’s wellbeing and further felt proud of herself for providing what Gabrielle had refused her, Hope could not help but be afraid. Soon, she would have to make her greatest offering of all.

Dahak had decreed that his child was to give herself over to him, willingly submit to being taken and filled by him same as her mother had. Not only would her father overshadow her with the heat and sustenance his grandchild needed, he would hold Hope in his flames for the entirety of the labor. Only after her body reached the precise temperature to set the egg within her quivering would he withdraw from roasting her alive. Then he would lower her onto the altar to birth her son, which had to happen quickly, lest the creature break free of his encasing while it was still inside her and thus shred her tender canal on the way out or get lodged within it. The evil god had warned his daughter that the next day would be harrowing for her, but he promised to blot most of the memory from her mind upon its completion.

Hope gasped and jolted out of her reverie upon the twinge that she should have been expecting. Her fingers gripped the stone below her as she panted and tried not to snap her thighs together. Warily, she eyed Seraphin as the priestess all too gladly pushed the last bit to advance her entire fist into her goddess.

“Oh, Gabrielle,” she sighed under her breath, her large eyes closed in bliss. “At last, you have accepted me! I always dreamed we’d come together as one. I’ve looked up to you all my life and love you so. Every day, I wished to be with you like this. Before she came along.” Visage darkening once more, Seraphin bared her teeth at her invisible enemy.

Satisfaction battled pain. Shared hatred for Xena bound Hope to her priestess tightest of all their other connections. Second was their mutual longing and resentment for the battling bard of Potadeia. The daughter of darkness’s stomach twisted in duller, separate apprehension upon thinking the town’s name. Her son was coming sooner than she had expected, the morning before she and Seraphin had been set to arrive in Potadeia. Thus, their arrival would be delayed by weeks while Hope underwent the trial of bringing The Destroyer into the world, recovered from it, and then fed her child until he was strong enough to fend for himself while she took on Gabrielle’s role in her family home. The added wait only bred more anxiety in the expectant mother’s small body. Will he love me? Will grandmother love me? What will it be like to live in a home filled with love and warmth?

“Oh, Gabrielle,” Seraphin sighed again. “Please don’t tense up. I’m sorry it hurts, love. Let your Sweet Sera make it better.” Getting carried away in her fantasy, she kissed Hope on the mouth, then the cheek and neck. Her left hand rubbed a taut thigh before thumbing the nearby clitoris while her mouth suckled and nipped at heaving breasts, intent on soothing Hope’s discomfort while continuing to prepare her for motherhood at the same time. When the mortal pulled back to pant for breathe, she said, “You’re doing so well, Gabrielle. Soon, your child will be born. The great hope and savior of us all will come from you. And I will help you bring her here. All the world will worship her, Gabrielle; you. Gabrielle, I love you. I love you!” she moaned in rising ecstasy as she thrust faster, deeper, and harder into her goddess before beginning to work a second hand into her as well.

Hope found her own arms encircling her priestess and pulling her close. Yes, Gabrielle; I am Gabrielle. And I will give birth to my great hope. And I will love her dearly. A single tear escaped down her cheek.

#

 

The young demigoddess gasped in a ragged breath when her father seized upon her in a single instant. Just as Gabrielle had experienced, Hope felt dual beams of flame fire the kiln of her womb from both sides. Specialized milk permeated into her breasts through their pores and nipples. Fire also hurtled down her throat to keep her from screaming. Father, please! she sobbed.

Hush now, dear one. Rest. Lean into me and take your place as my chosen one. Give yourself to me to realize your destiny.

Y-yes, f-father. …Oh, it hurts!she whimpered helplessly. Her spinning eyes found Seraphin staring at her nude, suspended form with heartbroken horror, untamed lust, and malevolent delight. Hope turned away from the girl.

Dahak took pity on his child. Do you wish to see your mother, precious?

Green-blue eyes snapped open. Yes! Yes, please, father! A-ah, an- anything t-to…

Mildly disgruntled though he expected the response and had in fact been counting on it, Dahak assented, So be it. To punish his child’s impropriety, he emulated Khrafstar by pervading her nose and mouth with immaterial smoke and burned through every inch of her flesh to pulsate in her blood. Only when she was keening in silence did he reveal the pilfered memories of Gabrielle’s heart by breaking through Hope’s pupils and eardrums too to allow her sensory integration with the scenes.

Seventeen-year-old Gabrielle moved and spoke with an excited vigor Hope had never seen from her. “That thing you did with the hoop; that was amazing! Where did you get that? Did you make it yourself? And that kick you do; you’ve got to teach me!”

A man tried to extinguish the teenager’s light, earning him an identical flare of annoyance in both lookalikes’ hearts. “Let's go, Gabrielle.”

“Hey, just because we're betrothed, doesn't mean you can boss me around. I want to stay and talk to Xena!…”

Hope gasped. Mother was betrothed? she wondered to herself rather than ask her father.

Still, he answered her. Yes, leaving a trail of tears in her wake is what the little viper does best.

Did she love him?

Not a bit. Knowing the response it would get from his child, Dahak added, At least, not as much as she loved that warrior-woman.

Fury flared from the girl. Xe-

Yes, look how she spoke of the man who loved her all their lives, and wished only to marry her, to the harpy she had met only a moment prior.

Gabrielle once more threw herself at Xena. “You've got to take me with you, teach me everything you know! You can't leave me here.”

“Why?"

“Did you see the guy they want me to marry?"

“He looks like a gentle soul. That’s rare in a man.”

“It’s not the gentle part I have a problem with. It’s the dull, stupid part…”

The god broke into the past and dissipated it from around his child. The little viper left him like she left you. And he, as you, still fell over himself to kiss her feet. Look.

Perdicas and Gabrielle reunited in a gated city.

“It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah. Last time I saw you, you were- sprinting out of town.”

“Right. I’m sorry- I- that I left without saying goodbye. It was wrong.”

“That’s all right. I’m not angry anymore…”

“It’s me, isn’t it? That’s why you’re doing this.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about. I’m here because I wanna be.”

“You forget who you’re talking to. Remember the time that you almost drowned trying to save my hat when it fell in the river? Or the time that you almost got trampled trying to give me a carriage ride?”

“Well, those days are over. I’m not a lovesick kid anymore.”

“What if something happens to you? What am I supposed to do then?”

“Write a story about me…”

“Do you remember- the time- that we got caught stealing corn from Hylus’ farm, and he threatened to tell your father?”

“But then you took the blame so I wouldn’t be punished. Did I ever thank you for that?”

“No…”

Hope watched her mother toy with Perdicas’s heart same as she toyed with her daughter’s, recognized the man’s blind devotion that so resembled her own and knew it wouldn’t end well for him.

“This may be the last chance I get to tell you this. I am- I’m really sorry. I know that I treated you badly-”

“And I let you. It was just as much my fault, Gabrielle. If only we could’ve been honest with each other.”

“I can’t be more honest than this…”

Dahak paused the memory just after his chosen one kissed her ex-betrothed. Do you see? It is foolish to love that woman. I know it hurts you that I am so firm with you about her, but I only mean to spare you the pain she causes everyone else, precious.

Yes, father, Hope answered distractedly. …Father, whatever happened to that man? Though she had never seen Dahak’s face, she knew he was smiling.

See for yourself.

Perdicas came to Gabrielle in the black of night. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the last time I saw you. Gabrielle, we’ve always been close. You were my closest friend. And, well; Gabrielle, will you be my wife?”

His beloved didn’t answer but instead changed the subject. “What have you been doing since you left Troy?”

“Fighting. That’s all I’ve been doing, it seems. After Troy, I wandered into another war. One day, I killed three men. I started to have dreams about all the men whose lives I’d taken. I couldn’t stand it. One night, I had my dagger at my heart. Then I saw something.”

“What?”

“Your face…”

 Perdicas refused to take one more life in the midst of an active battle sometime later. “I can’t do this anymore. If you don’t wanna come with me- it’s not gonna change the way I feel about you. I love you more than anything. But I’m done fighting. I’m going home.”

“But-”

“Where’s he going?”

“The answer’s yes, Xena. I’m gonna marry him…”

Hope reeled from the second major revelation. Mother married him? But-

Wait and see, her father answered with foul laughter.

Even on the night of her wedding, Gabrielle’s thoughts could not be broken from Xena. Nor could she show the man who loved her sufficient consideration.

“You’re gonna miss her, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m more worried about her missing me, though. She’s gonna be all alone. I have you.”

“That makes you happy?”

“Very. I-if we have a daughter, do you think we can name-”

“Xena? I wouldn’t have it any other way…”

Hope jolted in surprise when Callisto suddenly appeared in Gabrielle and Perdicas’s path the morning after their union.

Quickly, the spiteful woman ran the kind, brave man through with a sword and left him to die in Gabrielle’s arms.

No wonder mother’s face fell so when I told her the name of my ‘monster-lady.’ …Then I hurt her. I’m sorry, mommy, the demigoddess thought instinctually.

No! her father raged within her and then made her feel it. His heat billowed until he knocked his child into unconsciousness. As she slowly regained her faculties a while later, he warned her, You are falling for her again, Despair. Be strong. Be strong, or your child will not survive.

Shaken by agony, fear, and something more, Hope promised to obey. Picking up their conversation where they left off as if nothing had happened, she asked, Why didn’t mother avenge her husband and kill Callisto? Ah, she was too weak, wasn’t she?

Yes, child. Again, smug satisfaction emanated from the evil god as her incinerated his child to further his plans.

Gabrielle’s one and only disregarded her. “She’d chop you into little pieces before you even struck a first blow.”

“That’s because you never taught me how to use a sword. Now, that’s going to change- right now. I want a lesson— the scene wavered, whether due to the bard’s tattered recollections or Dahak’s skimming through them, Hope did not know— so, at least I stand a fighting chance. Please— colors and emotions swirled in Gabrielle’s hazy, blood-streaked vision —Teach me how to kill her, Xena. I’m gonna cut her open and watch her bleed. I’m gonna kill her, Xena! Teach me how to kill her…”

Callisto opened her eyes to disappointment, having been sitting still for Gabrielle to stab her through the heart.“I don’t understand you. After all I did, you still can’t kill me.”

“I won’t take a life, even yours. I’d rather die.”

Tears for her mother and herself burned in Hope’s eyes as she shook her head.  She sure didn’t mind killing me, twice! she thought at the same time that her father related the retort to her. Sickness turned into something else when The Destroyer kicked under her skin. Oh, father, the demigoddess whimpered, I can’t bear this anymore. I-i-it, it hurts! M-much too much! Please!

Do not be weak like your mother, Despair. Hold on for your child like the little viper never bothered holding on for you. Do you want him to perish within you? It is almost time for him to be born. If either one of us lets you down from my flames, your son will freeze. Is that what you want? Will you be as selfish-

N-no, father.

Then enjoy it! Stop fighting me and feel my glory. Feel my power coursing in your veins and crackling over your skin. Let yourself be filled with it and claim it as your own! Rise up!

Hope tried to comply with her father’s wishes. She relaxed her muscles and her mind, opened herself to her father rather than cringe from him. It was a welcome surprise for her when her physical pain seemed to melt away upon her decision. The blistering along and under her flesh turned to invigoration.

However, in a second replica of Gabrielle’s ordeal, Hope found that her anguish did not disappear for long. Every ounce of it removed from her body seared into her already aching soul. The demigoddess howled her affliction into the void. Why didn’t she love me, father? What did I do wrong? How; how could she blame me for- for being a misguided child when she just left me? I didn’t mean to, father! I never meant to hurt that man. E- … That which she had held back from Dahak and continued trying to do in that moment burst forth with the next incisive contraction from her womb. Why don’t you love me? No one loves me! I know; I know it is weak and foolish, but it is all I desire! All I want deep within my heart!

Father, I can’t help it! You chose for me to come from her. As careless and selfish as she is and can be, father, she loves! Everything she does and is is wrapped up in love! And I’m a part of her! So, why won’t she love me? Why? Why?

I try!

I try so hard to please you, but I know you do not love me! I am nothing more than a means to an end to you! And that is all my son will be to me! I know it! I hate that it is so, but it is true! Mother cursed me! Why did she curse me? She asked that goddess to make me love her without ever intending to love me back! A-and now, that is all I’ll ever be able to do. I can’t take it anymore! I can’t!

An almighty scream broke from Hope then. With it, she shattered glass and her own body. She tore herself apart to bear her son and knew, nay, hoped, that she would never be put back together again.

 

*I think this one is incomplete. I have some more ideas but am not sure they’d be interesting. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading!

 

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