Love, Honor, Duty
After Erika walked away, Cynthia was too wound up to do much of anything.
She tried to pack things but would lose track of what she was doing, her thoughts
focusing on what had happened earlier in the evening.
"If she'd only give me a sign or a word, that is all it would take for
me to stay. I thought I knew what I wanted and now....I don't know anything anymore. " Yes
you do, you want her. Nothing more, nothing less.
Cynthia gathered some items and took them to the bathroom. "A shower,
that will help clear my head," she said aloud.
She turned the water on, a little on the cold side, to counter the heat she
felt a few minutes ago. "It's been so long since I have felt this way about
anyone....no, I take it back, I have never felt this way about anyone ever in
Cynthia leaned against the cold tile shower wall and let the water hit her. "What
should I do?" You should stay; it's that simple. "Yep, you
are right; it really is that simple. Why didn't I just turn down the acceptance
letter from the beginning?"
Erika's wandering led her where it always seemed to, the front of Mike's house.
Leaning her head on the steering wheel, she debated going to knock on his door,
or just staying here and crying. She opted for the former. Gathering her wits,
she walked to his front door and rang the bell. After the sounds of scurrying
around, a more mussed that usual Mike answered.
" Rickie? What's up? What's wrong?"
"Can I come in?" her voice hoarse from the singing and holding back
the emotion she felt.
Mike held the door open wider, "of course." He directed his friend
to the living room where Tiffany sat on the couch in a stage of undress, not
complete, but close.
Embarrassed at what she was interrupting, Erika turned to leave the room. "Oh
Mike, I am sorry, I forgot you had company. I'll come back some other time."
Mike grabbed her by the shoulders as she tried to pass him in the small door
opening. "You're doing nothing of the sort. Tiff, go in the bedroom will
you? I'll come get you in a bit. My partner needs to talk."
The lanky blonde gathered up her discarded clothing and quietly went into
the other room.
"Ok bud, what's wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend.
You and Cynthia didn't have a fight or something did you?"
"I feel like I lost my best friend too, " she hesitated. "No,
we didn't have a fight. It's just that she's leaving to that school I told you
about…she's leaving in the morning."
"Oh," was the simple response.
"I'm being stupid aren't I? It's not like she isn't coming back. Heck,
it isn't like I can't go visit her or that she can't come home for holidays.
I just feel like someone has taken my heart out and stomped the shit out of it."
"So, what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, silly, did you tell her how you felt?"
"No, I want her to make the decision without my input. I didn't tell
Mike sighed, "you know, that's not like you. I mean, I know you are all
into honor and stuff but for god's sake Erika, what do you want? Are honor and
pride going to keep you warm at night? Are you being fair to her allowing her
to make a decision without all the facts? How would you feel if we were on a
SWAT call out and the sergeant kept a vital piece of information from us and
we made the best decision we could…based on the information we had…but
it was the wrong resolution because that one piece of data would have changed
Erika allowed the words Mike spoke to her penetrate through her almost impermeable
Slowly the advice began to make sense. What he said was very reasonable. As
it seemed more and more like the right thing to do, the only thing to do, was
to tell Cynthia how she felt, a smile brightened up the formerly dour face.
"You're right," she whispered.
Mike prepared to stand firm in his opinion, began to speak. "Listen Erika…"
"No Mike, you are right. I hadn't thought of it that way. It really isn't
fair to her…or me, to let her leave without me telling her how I feel.
I mean she knows, but she doesn't know. I don't want to let her go Mike, is that
"Absolutely not. Fight for the girl Erika, if you don't want to let her
go and tell her."
Her jaw now squared resolutely, she merely repeated the words Mike spoke, "fight
for her," and then walked out the door.
She was so focused on the task at hand she didn't notice Mike still standing
in his doorway, waving and shaking his head with a big smile on his face. "I
never thought I'd see the big bad cop fall in love. Will wonders never cease?
Speaking of love…" he sauntered in the bedroom to find a now totally
unclad woman snoring lightly on his bed.
"Of all the freakin' luck…" he said as he tried to think
of ways to wake Tiffany up.
Cynthia now confident of her decision to stay, she felt like a load of bricks
had been lifted off her shoulders. She turned the water off in the shower and
reached for one of the large, heavy white towels hanging on the back of the bathroom
door. Wrapping that around her torso, she grabbed a smaller version to put turban-like
around her hair.
"I should have known my heart would never be into this as long our relationship
was unresolved." Genuinely smiling for the first time in days, she bounced
about the apartment, returning the few items packed back to their original locations.
She had just completed her task when she heard a knock on the door. "Hmmm,
who could that be?" She glanced out the small peephole in her door and recognized
the tall, lean form of her friend.
She threw the door open, happy to see her. "Erika, I am so glad you......"
"Wait, me first." Erika walked in and hugged the smaller woman with
all her might. "I can't let you go. I know it's selfish." She urged
the other woman with her touch against the wall, shutting the door behind them.
Mirroring their earlier movements outside, Erika put her fingers under Cynthia's
chin and made her look into her eyes. "But I don't care if I am selfish.
I can't live without you, I won't live without you. Either I go with you, or
you stay, I don't care, but I can't be separated from you......not now....not
ever." Erika moved to kiss Cynthia's lips, imparting every emotion she was
feeling, the desperation, the need, the want from the bottom of her heart. It
wasn't exactly how she had rehearsed the scene on her drive over, but it seemed
to be working.
"Oh god, yes," Cynthia moaned into the other woman's mouth, not
wanting to ever part their lips again. The emotion conveyed in the kiss struck
her right to the core of her being. "Please," was all she could say.
Erika pulled the towel out of Cynthia's hair, letting the mane fall free.
Erika thrust her body against Cynthia's slender physique trying to get closer
than even the towel would allow.
"I don't want to stop," Erika rasped into Cynthia's ear.
"Oh, baby, I don't want you to stop. Please....don't stop," she
breathed. With that encouragement, Erika grabbed her by the wrists, but didn't
stop kissing her. Walking backwards, she led Cynthia into the bedroom, stopping
every few feet for increased touching.
The dim light from the nightstand clock was all that illuminated the dark
room. Erika soon found the back of her calves pressing against the bed. Cynthia
pushed her onto the bed with a small shove, breaking their embrace. She reached
to the top of the towel, somehow still intact covering her torso. Before she
could get it off, Erika rose from the bed. "Wait." Cynthia tilted her
head in confusion.
"You want to stop?" she said unbelieving.
With a wide smile, Erika replied, "I've never wanted to do something
more in my life. I just need to tell you something before we do anything." Erika
really couldn't believe she was using her lips and tongue to talk instead of
the much better things she could be doing.
"You have to know that this means something to me. It means more to me
than anything I have ever done. I swear to you, this is not a one-night thing.
This means everything in my world." She paused to look into the meadow-green
"I swear, I will never hurt you intentionally. I swear, with everything
that I am, that I'll do my best to never make you cry." She wiped away a
tear that had begun to fall on Cynthia's face. "I swear, I will try to be
everything you need, if you let me." Erika swallowed hard, she was uncomfortable
being this vulnerable, but she had to speak her heart. "I swear on everything
I am and everything I believe in, that I will be here, in good and bad times." Her
lips began to quiver, the honesty unquestionable, the sincerity evident in her
eyes. Again she cupped the shorter woman's face with her hand, the blue eyes
looking deeply and intently into the ones she had dreamt about. "I swear,
if you need me to move heaven and earth for you, I will. I'll give you the sun,
the stars and the moon. Anything you want, I swear to you."
Cynthia was stunned. No one had ever said anything to her like this before;
there was no describing the depth of joy and love she was feeling. "You
are so beautiful, Erika," she caressed the cheek of the dark haired woman, "inside
and out." Returning the unwavering gaze, she continued, "I swear that
I believe you, and trust you. I swear that if you give me a chance, I'll be the
same and do the same for you." She paused. "I’ve never felt this
way before either. You make me feel complete. I have always held back with people,
but I swear I won't hold anything back with you." Cynthia smiled; her heart
felt as if it were going to burst open with happiness. "And I swear I won't
need the sun, the stars, and the moon because you are my universe. I am so glad
I waited. I’m so glad we waited."
Both women had tears streaming down their faces by the time the words of commitment
were exchanged. Cynthia reached up with her free hand and held Erika's face with
both "I swear to you that I love you." Their lips again sought each
other, joining in passion.
"I love you too." Four simple words that, once said, changed the
world as they knew it. "I've waited so long for you, I won't stop anymore," and
with a grin, "I swear."
Cynthia again began to reach for the towel, then she changed her mind. "Oh
no. If we are going to do this, we are going to do it right." She stroked
the arms of her love, removing her jacket so painfully slowly, if she had been
any more leisurely about it there would have been no movement. Finally, when
the jacket had been freed, it was dropped with an audible thud on the floor.
With each deliberate touch, bolts of electricity flew. The only sounds escaping
were low groans and moans of encouragement. Cynthia reached under Erika's shirt
with feather-light touches causing skin to jump with longing. Moving quickly
this time, she lifted the shirt over Erika's head in one fluid motion. Standing
on her tip-toes, she pulled it off, desire emanating from her eyes as she looked
at the woman who would soon be her lover.
"You are so beautiful," Cynthia whispered hoarsely.
"Not as beautiful as you," came the faint reply.
Cynthia reached for the buckle of the black leather belt around Erika's waist.
She knelt before the tall woman and pulled the belt out of its holders. The belt
soon joined the jacket on the floor.
The kneeling woman could no more keep her hands still than stop breathing.
She again slowed the pace to an excruciating crawl, opting not to go for the
buttons that were begging to be torn off the worn blue jeans.
Instead, she felt her way down to simple black shoes. She loosened each lace
with her anticipating fingers, exaggerating each movement to heighten the mood,
as if it could get much higher. The abrasion caused by her hands running their
way back up to the top of the pants created a heat that refused to be extinguished.
Cynthia ran her finger the length of the button fly, inserting her finger
behind the fastening. Willingly, the buttons succumbed to the pressure; yielding
one by one until there were none left clasped to the denim.
Grazing her fingers along the long muscular legs as she pulled the pants down,
she left goose bumps in their wake.
Erika looked down at the woman below and was gifted with the most sensual
thing she had ever seen. Cynthia's head was barely tilted back, her eyes closed,
and her lips slightly parted. She wanted to be down on her own knees and worship
this goddess who had put the light back in her life.
Erika extended her hand down to the prostrate woman, helping her to her feet. "Oh
no you don't....I have about as many clothes on as you do now. I want to keep
this equal," Erika said while stepping out of her pants.
"Well if you want equal, dear, you are wearing two items, and I have
just one," Cynthia rebutted. Impetuously, she opened the towel quickly,
not allowing time for anything to be seen. It didn't matter, just the thought
of what was under the towel proved to be the undoing of Erika's equality issue.
Erika grabbed Cynthia, spun her around, and lifted her on to the bed. As she
straddled Cynthia's hips, she placed her hands on the prone woman's stomach and
slid them toward her breasts, splaying the towel open as she went.
Wanting nothing more than to rip the towel off and toss it across the room,
she willed herself to go slow. A leer spread across Erika's face as she stopped
and looked down at the inclined woman arching into her hands.
Bending down, Erika replaced the movement of her hands with her mouth and
tongue, retracing the movements and opening the towel completely. A sudden gasp
was heard as the flesh was exposed, Erika realised it was from her own throat,
reacting to the exquisiteness of the sight below her. The dark shadows playing
with the light provided just enough cover to keep some of the mystery alive.
Catching Erika off balance, Cynthia decided it was time for Erika to be in
the same state of undress as she was. She flipped Erika onto her back, the control
now firmly in her court.
The blonde lifted the bra over Erika's head and flung it, landing on the lampshade
next to the bed. Moving to kneel between the tall woman's legs, she pulled off
the last vestige of clothing between the two of them.
Cynthia crawled up and took a place beside Erika. Looking into her eyes, she
whispered, "Do you have any idea how incredibly sexy you are? How much you
turn me on?"
This succeeded in eliciting a very audible moan from the raven-haired woman.
Cynthia kissed Erika, soundly on the mouth. Then with smaller kisses, she
made her way over to the side of her head, tracing Erika's ear with her tongue. "I've
waited for you," she said breathlessly, "all my life, I've been waiting
just for you."
"I need you Erika, I need to touch you. Will you let me touch you?"
Erika tried to answer but not even a groan could escape her throat. She only
Cynthia reached first for Erika's hand, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. "Thank
you," she said reverently.
Cynthia slid her hand between the bodies pressed against each other. Reaching
her goal, she continued to murmur into Erika's ear. "You are ready for me
aren't you? You've been waiting too."
With slow and sure movements, Cynthia explored. Her strokes matching tempo
with the words being spoken. "All I want you to hear is my voice, all I
want you to feel right now is my touch. Can you do that?"
Erika obediently followed the instructions.
"Can you tell how much I want you?"
Erika's breathing turned into ragged pants the more Cynthia whispered, through
the breaths she managed to utter, "yes."
"Good… I want you to know what you do to me. I want you to feel
the same way I do when I think about you."
Cynthia could feel Erika's body begin to tense. "Do you like how I touch
you?" Erika's breathing was coming faster.
"Oh God yes…yes…right there," followed by a loud moan.
"You like that, do you?" Cynthia teased. "Maybe you'll like
this too." With a sudden change in sensation, Erika's hips rolled in rhythm
to the thrusts.
"Oh…my…God…yes!" Erika responded to the movement.
Her hands reached up to clasp around the nape of Cynthia's neck and then up through
her hair encouraging the ministrations.
Erika's body arched into Cynthia trying to get even closer. As the feelings
became more intense, Erika jerked up, crying her lover's name.
Cynthia pulled her in close, brushing the sweat soaked hair away from her
face. "Are you ok, honey?"
Erika smiled. She didn't have enough energy to do much more. "I am sooo
ok. In fact, " she paused, "I would say I am wonderful, fantastic,
incredible. You are wonderful, fantastic, and oh so incredible. Thank you." She
said as her heart rate and breathing slowed to a more normal pace.
Cynthia leaned down and kissed Erika's nose. "I'm glad I could please
"You are way beyond pleasing. I don't think I know the adjective that
describes you. If I knew it would be like this there is no way I would have waited."
Cynthia looked her in the eye," if we didn't wait, then perhaps it wouldn't
have been 'like this'. I have to tell you again, good things are worth waiting
for. And you…you are definitely a good thing."
"You know, I have never had anyone talk as much as you. And…as
much as it turned me on, there is only one thing I want to do right now."
"Shut up and kiss me," Erika barely finished before their lips once
Erika used her leverage to settle Cynthia back on the bed. Starting with the
top of her head, she began to lavish her with kisses. Working her way downward,
Erika stopped at the base of the extraordinary throat.
Cynthia pushed her head further into the pillow allowing for more access to
the places Erika was kissing. The gentle bites and suction were working both
women into a frenzy. Once Erika was satisfied the territory was properly marked,
she continued her descent, stopping at all the interesting places and showing
The pilgrimage proceeded till Erika reached the inside of her thighs. Kissing
and teasing, she broke away to speak, "do you like how I touch you?" A
pause accented by more nuzzling and caressing. "Can you tell how much I
The breathless response came, "you know what? Talking is way over-rated," as
she pushed Erika closer by the back of her head.
The next morning found the new lovers wrapped tightly in each other's arms.
Erika gradually opened her eyes, afraid to find what had transpired last night
was yet another dream. Waiting to exhale, she turned her head toward the weight
on her left side. Blonde hair that smelled like a summer rain shower met her
face. Thank god, it's not a dream. Actually... it is a dream, but I am actually
living it instead of thinking about it. Or maybe I have died and gone to heaven.
Whatever it is, I don't ever want it to end.
Turning onto her side, she was content to observe the sleeping woman. Did
she really tell me she loved me? The memory brought a wistful smile to her face.
Is this what love feels like? I thought I had been in love before…but
it doesn't even come close to this. Erika reached up to trace the arch of the
brow of her...her …my what? Partner? Friend? Lover? Well she is my friend,
but she is my heart too, how can I explain that to people. Lover? That sounds
so 1970s. I certainly don't care if people know but it's just not for me. Partner…hmmmm…I
don't want to sound like we are a law firm. I guess for right now I'll just consider
her my girlfriend and we'll see from there.
Her finger stroked the eyebrow then trailed along the bridge of Cynthia's
nose. The nose scrunched at the light pressure, then a smile graced the face.
The wandering digit followed the line of the profile, dipping down and tracing
full, red lips.
Those same lips placed a gentle kiss on the finger so delicately outlining
their form. The finger continued its downward trek up and over the chin then
along the jaw to the hollow of the throat. A content smile spread as the finger
sketched the boundary of a dark mark. Funny, last time I had one of those, I
regretted my actions. There is absolutely no regret over this one...
"And I thought the best way to wake up was when you fixed me breakfast," the
words came lazily out of Cynthia's mouth. "This would always give me motivation
to wake up early."
"Good morning," Erika drawled. "Sleep well?"
"I slept like a baby." She stretched out languidly the sheets barely
keeping her covered. "I had this incredible dream. Wanna hear about it?"
"I'd love to hear about it," Erika's breath already had begun to
quicken seeing how the sheets were dangerously close to slipping off.
Cynthia stretched again, then looked into the sapphire eyes staring at her. "I
had this dream that this incredibly beautiful woman, probably the most exquisite
woman I have ever seen in my life came in here last night and made love to me
until I couldn't take it anymore."
Erika moistened her lips with her tongue since her mouth suddenly felt dry.
"Then you want to know what my dream woman did?"
"What did she do?" Erika questioned quietly as her hand slipped
under the sheets, tracing slow-moving circles on Cynthia's abdomen.
"Then," the verdant eyes sparkled, "she told me she loved me
and she made all my dreams come true."
Erika leaned in to kiss Cynthia, "funny... I had the exact same dream
last night myself."
The end of part II