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The Royal Academy of Bards

is pleased to present

1. Down on the Farm
Fresh-faced farmer’s daughter looking for fun and excitement away from the farm.
2. BDSM Fantasy
Professional with a passion for the exotic seeks someone to fulfill BDSM fantasy.
3. Play with Me!
“Toy” store owner searching for adventurous partner willing to try new things.


4. Bring Sunscreen
Beach bum with a taste for cold beer, oysters on-the-half-shell and sunsets, looking for same.
5. Learn New Positions
Wanted: Yoga instructor to teach breathing, relaxation techniques and positions.
 . Vroom! Vroom!
Racing fan searching for someone who appreciates speed with an attention to detail.

7. 'Packing Mate
Rugged outdoorsy-type seeks companion for hiking, kayaking and possibly more.
8. Got Spurs?
Wanted: Cowgirl to teach riding, roping and wrangling.  Branding experience a plus.
9. Are You the One?
Activist seeks cuddler who loves animals, walks in the park and protest marches.

Blue-eyed brunette searching for green-eyed blonde.  Martial art skills preferred.
11. Desperate in 'Burbs
Lonely housewife looking for relief from boring, humdrum life.  All offers considered.

12. Lost Soulmate
Short blonde seeks tall brunette.  Blue eyes preferred.   Sexy look a plus.

The Challenge is to take one of the personal ads listed and write a story around it. 

The catch? 

The ad must appear (verbatim) at the start of your story (within the first page).   What?  Yep, that’s the whole catch.  Easy, huh?

There is only one category of competition…Best story (voted upon by the public)


ROOOL #1: Entries may be classic X&G (any and all characters that appeared in the show), Uber or Original.  The choice is always yours.  Now, writing an X & G story will get you a bonus 3 vote/point head start AND if you also mention a few amazons, you'll get an additional  2 more vote/points (OZ's Prerogative).  Throw in some Gods and extra points for them; they are just cheap and easy. <.g.> Except Dite, she is expensive and easy. 

Oh and in this XenaVerse...No one is dead if you don't want them to be.  EPHINY LIVES!  Whoo hoo!

ROOOL #2: Participants are limited to only one entry. 

ROOOL #3a: All competing entries will be posted anonymously. 

ROOOL #3b: If you choose to participate but not compete, your entry will be posted with your identification on it.  Since it is not anonymous, you are allowed to include any characters that belong to you (from previous posted stories).  Please indicate, clearly on your entry whether or not you are competing.

ROOOL #4: Competing stories must not exceed a maximum of 50 pages.  They must have normal margins and use no smaller than an 11 font.  (Steph “da boss” says so.)

ROOOL #5a: If you are competing, please do not reveal your participation to anyone who has the potential for being a voter…the only exception being…

ROOOL #5b: You may use a beta reader, but please keep the number of beta readers to a reasonable limit…anything more than three will be considered a violation of…

ROOOL #5c: Posting any of your entries on any other sites or lists (private or public) before the end of the contest is a BIG NO NO. 

Once the contest is over and the winners are announced, feel free to post EVERYWHERE,

ROOOL #6: There is no number six.

ROOOL #7: Please do not stuff the ballot box or lobby for votes...we at the Academy have gotten very good at identifying this behavior.  We won't publicly embarrass you but we will quietly eliminate you from the contest.  The Academy folks are everywhere and know everything…we will find out.

ROOOL #8: The "Roools Committee":   aka the Munchkins and I, reserve the final say on everything and anything concerning this challenge. 

It's our sandbox <.Nyah.>

DEADLINE FOR ENTRIES IS May 24th…Send it to:

I will acknowledge receipt of it within 24 hours, if I do not…please send it again to or contact me at

If you have any questions, please email me as well.  I will do my best to answer them.

Winners (top story plus an honorable mention) get a gift certificate from their choice of one of several popular online retailers.  They will also receive a special personalized framed tile commemorating their win. 

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