a solstice to forget




Have you ever had one of those Solstice's  where everything went wrong. You know the kind where nothing goes the way you planed and little things just keep getting out of control. Well, let me tell you that I would rather fight a mad Grizzly that you had been hit with a horseshoe then go thru another one like the one  in 95.

The day started out just like any other morning. All right,   I didn't want to get out of bed when the phone started  ringing , I should have ignored it but oh no I had to go an answer the damn thing and thats when all my problems started.  My uncle Tobias was on the other end reminding me that I promised my Grandmother I would take her shopping for Solstice presents. I still think I was tricked into doing  the shopping thing  with granny so after a fast shower I was almost out the door when the phone started ringing again, in my haste to answer , thinking it was my uncle again, I tripped over granny's Lyre and broke it; boy is she gonna be mad. It  belonged to her great,great, great grandfather.

When it broke I swear I heard someone laughing. I should have ran out of there as fast as I could but no I go and answer  the phone and a  salesman is on the other end and trying  his best to get me to buy a cruise to some place weird called  Squid Beach. OK I never heard of it either so I tell him to go fly a kite , slam down the phone and run out the door before anything  else happens and run straight into Joey and his  mother carrying the golden apples I  ordered from them .

God was I ever in so much trouble for being late . For those of you who don't know my granny, well lets just say that she made  a green beret  put on a pink nightie  and tell everyone in ten states that "I have many skills"  while holding a whip ; yes, she sure did and you can ask everyone in Kansas about it.  I  finally pick granny up and the first thing she spots is the hickey on my neck. I am not one who usually lies but this was my granny and she does'nt know about my lover, so I had to think fast and make it sound as true as I could.

Yes, I'm a chicken, but I just couldn't tell her that I got it when Gerri and I went to the Moonlight  Inn to celebrate our anniversary.  So I did what every red blooded coward would do , I lied thru  my teeth and told her that my baby kitten did it because I was trying to get away from a sand spider and wasn't paying any attention to him. Well granny believed it and we finally got her shopping done without any more problems.

The next day  when  I was at work, I notice a saddle bag that was filled with a candle, some black powder, a scroll and a lock pick, OK I wasn't paying  attention and dropped hot cigarette  ashes into the powder and blew up the store, yes  it was Wally World and  it took the town six months to clean up the mess.The new store is almost ready to open  and the town now has  a court order that state's I'm not aloud around any campfire's , matches, lighters and even  dragons spitting fire for  the next twenty years. Now you know why its a solstice to forget.

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