So Close, So Far
By Dimples
Disclaimers:
The characters in this story are all mine and the story is all mine. The characters may look like two of our favorite actresses that are not mine, but that's where the similarity ends. The song in this part is all mine, as well.
Love/Sex/Language:
Yes to all of the above. This story depicts an explicit loving relationship between adult women. If you're under-aged or live in a place that this isn't allowed or this isn't your cup of tea, I suggest you move along and look for something else to occupy your free time.
Violence:
There are some scenes that contain pretty graphic violence but I don't consider them to be much. But if you're of the fainter heart, I'd suggest you don't read 'em. They're really not bad though...Not worse than any regular Xena episode.. There is a scene that deals with an almost-rape but nothing serious and nothing graphic.
Thanks:
To my beta-reader Erin Jennifer for everything. For reading and correcting my stories and doing a great job of it!
To all the readers that took the time to write to me and telling me what they thought, you encouraged me to keep on writing.
And to all the great bards around and their amazing stories that I loved reading and gave me the inspiration to start writing my own.
Author's comments and Feedback: This is my second novel length story. I hope you'll like it. Unfortunately, the story is yet to be finished because I'm quite busy in my day to day life at the moment so I apologize ahead for the delays in my posting of the parts. I promise to try and write as fast as I possibly can. I hope you decide on reading it anyhow...
I decided to put on hold the writing of the sequel to my story "Time and Time Again". Now about this story, everything in this story is meant purely for fun and I hope you find it funny (in places it was meant to be funny), dramatic (the same) and so on. I would really appreciate knowing what you think of my stories. Tell me if I'm doin' alright or if I royally suck. Some plot ideas would be very much appreciated also. Actually, come to think of it, any comment would be very much appreciated :) mailto:Dimples_2000_fr@yahoo.com
Copyright © Dimples 2002. All rights reserved.
Part Four
Ch. 7
Jay groaned as she turned on her side, running into a soft, warm, unknown body. She sleepily blinked open an eye and looked around the dimmed bedroom. She determined that she was in her own bedroom at her hotel and the body lying next to her was a woman's. Deciding to take a closer look, she opened both her eyes and raised herself on her elbow. Leaning over the other woman's body, she glanced at her face. Not recognizing the woman, she groaned once again at the sharp pain that shot through her head and gave up, slumping back onto the pillow.
An hour later, Jay woke up again and decided to drag her tired, sore body out of bed. Letting the other woman continue sleeping by not paying much heed to her, she carefully slipped out of bed. Shakily, she tried to steady herself and focus her blurred vision. Drawing a deep breath, she raised herself to her feet. Soon she realized what a big mistake her move was. The room started to spin as she stumbled on her feet and almost fell down. Holding onto the nightstand, she moved slowly towards the bathroom. Coffee, that's what I need. Then I'll be fine. See if I ever drink again...Yeah right. Jay thought to herself, shaking her head amusedly, but when her head started to spin again, she abruptly stopped.
Splashing some cold water on her face, she grimaced as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her lips parched and her hair sweaty and plastered all over her head in weird angles. Drying her face with a clean towel, she walked out of her bedroom.
Already sitting in the kitchenette was Jennifer, wide awake and eating a small breakfast of toast and coffee. "Hey." Croaked Jay, who was ignored entirely by her friend. Shrugging it off as morning grumpiness, she poured herself a strong cup of coffee and sat on a chair opposite Jennifer.
All through that time, Jennifer maintained her cold, apathetic expression, which Jay didn't notice at first. Afterwards she just didn't understand the reason behind it. Looking at Jennifer expectantly, she was treated with the same unfazed response that she was given from the first moment she stepped into the room. "Okay, what?" Jay couldn't hold back any longer and decided to go all out and ask. Jennifer continued with her approach and ignored her. She kept eating her breakfast quietly, not looking anywhere in particular. "Jennifer! What's wrong?" Jay was starting to get upset as well and her tone grew louder and angrier. If there was one thing that irritated her the most, it was being given the silent treatment and without even knowing the reason for it. Besides, her head hurt, her stomach was quizzy and she just wasn't in a particularly good mood this morning.
"Nothing!" Snapped Jennifer.
"Fine!" Growled Jay through clenched teeth, throwing her hands up.
"Fine!" Exclaimed Jennifer.
They kept eating their breakfast in silence, neither looking the other in the eye. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Suddenly, Jay's bedroom door opened and a now fully dressed woman stepped out. She shut the door behind her and smiled sexily at Jay, as if not noticing the tenseness between the two singers. "Good morning, gorgeous."
"Mornin'." Answered Jay, unenthusiastically.
"I'll be leaving now." She stated the obvious.
Jay tiredly extracted herself from her seat and walked over to her. Pulling her into her arms, she gently laid a small, almost chaste kiss on her lips and walked her to the door.
"Thank you for a wonderful night, Jay."
"Thank you." Whispered Jay as she opened the door for her.
Jennifer was shooting daggers at the woman and at Jay's back. She couldn't stand being silent any longer and snapped at Jay, "How dare you? At least you could be a little more respectful towards me. How dare you bring your...whores," She spat the word, "Here, to our room?!" Jennifer was seething. She wasn't positive that she was right in this but she felt betrayed and hurt and those feelings brought out the anger.
Jay couldn't believe her ears. She never heard Jennifer speak such words or with such venom. She was angry too. She felt sick and she was sick and tired of having to explain herself or her actions to anyone, especially to her best friend. "Are you quite through?" Asked Jay in a controlled voice.
Jennifer didn't answer but she sat up straighter in her chair as if preparing herself mentally and physically for the blow that was about to come. "The last time I checked I was old enough to do as I damn please and with whom I please. It is none of your business what I do, with who I do it and where! Oh, and this room is mine as much as it's yours." As she was about to head back to her room and collect herself, she turned around mid-stride and added, "And who do you think you are to call these women whores? Just because you play virgin Mary, doesn't mean everybody else has to too. And that fact doesn't turn them into whores!" With those final words, defending those women's honor and her own, she left a stunned Jennifer behind as she returned to her bedroom.
Jennifer felt bad before but now, adding to the hurt was a small flicker of guilt, which made her feel even worse. She felt as if Jay had physically hurt her. Her heart had been shattered into a million tiny pieces with no sliver of hope of ever being restored. She felt like crying but didn't want to give into it. She knew that if she did start crying, she would never be able to stop. Apparently she cares more about all those women she sleeps with than her best friend.
Maybe she was just having a really bad morning, her mind debated.
Yeah, or maybe I'm just a fool. She thought, sadly.
Sighing deeply, she cleared her breakfast dishes and went to get ready for another unexpected, probably eventful day.
Above everything, that's the last thing Jay needed at the moment. She loved her friend dearly but sometimes she just got way out of line. I don't understand her. Why should she care?
Because she cares about you, you idiot! Screamed her mind.
I still don't get it.
Yeah, that's just it. You don't get it.
"Just shut up!" She growled to herself. All the emotions welling up inside her, mixed with her sick feeling, made for a bad combination. Rushing into the bathroom, she threw the toilet seat up and let it all come out. She felt a little better by the end and tried to raise to her feet. After washing her mouth and brushing her teeth again, she dropped her clothes on the bathroom floor and got into the hot tub. Turning the water on, she let the tub fill slowly with hot water. She let the water soothe her muscles and her sore body, relax her both physically and mentally.
Jay had fallen asleep in the tub. She hadn't been sleeping for long but the water had managed to turn cold and now she was shivering and feeling even more miserable than she did before. Extracting herself out of the tub, she slowly gained her footing on the slightly slippery floor. She took the long, white bathrobe that she left on the toilet seat and enfolded herself in it, rubbing her arms quickly to bring back some feeling into them. Draining the bath, she entered her bedroom. Looking around, she noticed that the maid had been to her room and cleaned up. Jay figured that the maid must have seen the closed bathroom door and the light coming from underneath it and left. Looking at the time, she noticed it was past noon, I wonder where's Jonney. Weren't we supposed to do something today? Shrugging, she put on a pair of white shorts and a black t-shirt and went into the living room.
Jennifer was sitting on the couch, watching TV and munching on a snack. She didn't hear Jay enter the room and was startled to hear the refrigerator's door close. She jumped slightly and turned around. With nothing more than a glance, she turned back to the TV set.
Everything came back to Jay's blurry mind and she remembered all that had happened but a few hours ago. She felt bad about their fight, but mostly she felt bad for herself. She didn't understand what she had done wrong and felt betrayed by her best friend. She didn't know that Jennifer felt the exact same way.
A knock on the door disturbed the seemingly peaceful atmosphere. Jay pushed herself away from the counter she was leaning against and went to open the door.
"Hi." Said Sheila, their assistant.
"Hey." Jay let her pass through and shut the door behind her.
Jennifer turned to look at the visitor and a sweet smile lit her face.
She used to smile like that when she saw me too, thought Jay, sadly. Shaking her head furiously, she sat on a chair behind the two women that were seated on the couch. She didn't want to think about things like that when she was mad at Jennifer. And I have every right to be!
Yeah, you just keep telling that to yourself, answered her cynical mind.
"Oh, just shut up." Jay growled quietly to herself.
"Did you say something, Jay?" Asked Sheila.
"Huh? Oh, no."
Sheila loved the two singers. She had been with them since the beginning. She was assigned to be their personal assistant when they first signed the contract with their label. She had heard all the stories about them, she knew that they were best friends and what they went through to get to this point. And she also knew that something was wrong now. She had never felt such tension between the two. Something is definitely wrong, I wonder what happened.
She knew that if she asked they would probably say that it was nothing and brush it off as just a misplaced feeling. Sheila, since the first moment she saw the singers, fell for the petite blonde. Her charming smile, her kind soul and her generous spirit, not to mention her great looks and gorgeous body, captured many hearts and Sheila's was no different. She knew deep inside her heart that she could never have her but it didn't stop her from dreaming. Seeing now the tension between the friends, she couldn't help but feel a small flicker of hope light her heart. However, it immediately died down when she saw the sadness hiding behind the mask of happiness in Jennifer's green depths.
Lowering her voice down so Jay couldn't overhear, she asked "Jennifer, are you okay?"
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know. You look a little...sad, I guess."
Jennifer smiled gently at the sweet woman, "No, I'm fine. I think the weariness is catching up with me."
Sheila nodded and smiled slightly but she knew that Jennifer's words had been a lie. She looked over at Jay and found the same expression lurking on her face, as well. The usually bright, smoldering eyes of the sexy star were now dull and tired. It must have been bad, whatever it was.
"There isn't much for you to do today. At 3:00 PM, you have a photo shoot but that's it. Tomorrow will be a bit busier. We have an interview and some promotion to do. Right now, you can just rest. At two-thirty, I'll drop by to pick you guys up. Okay?"
"Yeah, all right." Said Jennifer.
Sheila turned to look at Jay and waited to be acknowledged. Jay raised her head and looked over at the couch, seeing the expectant look on Sheila's face, she said "Huh?"
Sheila rolled her eyes and repeated the itinerary, "Okay?"
"Yeah, sure."
Sheila patted Jennifer's knee and got up. "I know the way out." She bid them good-bye and left the chilly room.
Jennifer went back to watching TV and Jay slumped in her chair even further and drank from her bottle of water. After finishing the bottle, she tossed it into the trash can and went to her room. Flopping herself on the bed, she picked up the calendar. Flipping through it, she looked at the dated marks. The beginning of their tour, three months ago and the end, three months away from now. Suddenly a larger red mark drew her eye. She stopped flipping the pages and went back to the one with the large, noticeable mark. A deep groan escaped her mouth as she butted her head back into the pillow. "Oh God! Tomorrow's Jennifer's birthday." She looked at the small smiley painted on the date, surrounded by a big, red circle. She smiled slightly but soon, the look of sadness clouded her features once again. She threw the calendar angrily on the floor and pushed her face into the pillow. She had forgotten her best friend's birthday and it wasn't an ordinary one, it was her 21st birthday.
Jonney, Sheila, their musicians, bodyguards and herself had been planning this day for over three months and now, they weren't even on speaking terms. They were supposed to celebrate it tomorrow, surprising Jennifer. "Oh man, what am I supposed to do now?"
She probably hates me even more because everything happened on her birthday. I'm such an asshole.
Yes, you are, agreed her mind.
Gee, thanks.
You're welcome, answered her alter-ego.
Now, I'm fighting with myself! Oh God, I need a shrink!
Nah, you're way past that, alter-ego added helpfully.
Jay groaned and buried her head deeper into the pillows.
Jennifer heard a few muffled groans and sentences coming from Jay's bedroom and tried to listen more carefully. Then she heard a thud and more mumbling. What is going on in there? Who is she talking to? She thought to herself. She knew that Jay felt sick from the previous night and she felt bad for her. Those thoughts, however, came immediately to a stop when she remembered that woman going into Jay's bedroom and coming out of it, the day after.
Seeing that she still had enough time until they were to leave, she went to rest for a while since, she was still quite tired from all the excitement of the past few days.
Ch. 8
The knock woke both women up. They got out of bed, straightened themselves out and entered the living room simultaneously. Jonney was sitting on the couch, smiling at them. He had let himself inside with his own key. Sheila had talked to him earlier and expressed her thoughts after visiting the two. he could now see what she meant. They were both standing awkwardly on either side of the room, not looking at each other and actually avoiding each other's eyes.
"Are you two ready?" asked Jonney.
"Yes." Both answered immediately.
Jonney nodded and moved to the door. Grabbing their jackets, the singers were right behind him. The ride to the set was quiet and uneventful. No one spoke, everybody pretended that all was great but they all knew it wasn't.
"Here we are." Said Jonney. They stopped in front of a large building with a bright blue star logo on it. Entering the building, they walked the small distance to the elevators and went up to the 20th floor. It was an office building. The people working didn't pay much attention to the entering group as they were used to seeing celebrities on a daily basis. They walked down a long corridor and on the right was a door marked, 'studio - closed set'. Jonney knocked and after a few seconds, it was opened by a young, red-headed guy wearing blue sweats, a t-shirt, sneakers and a ball cap. His eyes grew large at the sight of the two singers as he stepped away from the door, "Uh, hello. I'm Mikey. If you need anything, just call for me."
"Thanks, Mikey." Said Jennifer, smiling at him.
Mikey blushed all the way to his red roots and stumbled out of the way. "Ahh! There they are." The man that spoke came around to them and shook their hands. He was tall and lean with a closely trimmed black beard on his handsome face. His black hair and his beard were dyed blonde. He was wearing a tight yellow shirt that accentuated his muscles, tight orange nylon pants and brown leather moccasins. A golden ring adorned one of his fingers and a matching earring adorned his ear. "Hi, I'm Ron and I'll be your photographer for today." He said in a delicate, cheerful voice. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. If there is anything that you need, just say the word, okay?" Both Jennifer and Jay smiled and nodded.
"Good. Now, there's your dressing room, you'll find all the clothes you need in there. When you're through dressing, we'll start shooting, okay?"
Again, they both nodded.
They went into the dressing room and found all sorts of clothes hanging on two racks, one meant for Jennifer and one for Jay. Without a single word, they went to pick up the first combination of clothes they wanted for the first shoot. These pictures were taken for a known music magazine. They arranged these kinds of photo shoots from time to time. The pictures usually involved an interview but this time they decided to give only a few pictures as promotion for their tour and new album, which was soon to be released.
Jay picked out black leather pants, black leather boots and a black leather shirt. She liked leather and the color suited her mood. Jennifer, on the other hand, chose white sneakers, a pair of white jeans and light beige button-up shirt. They looked perfect. They looked the part and they looked the exact opposite of each other but still so right.
When they stepped out of the dressing room, everyone turned to look at them and fell silent. Ron smiled and waved them over. He grabbed his chest in an exagerated fashion, fanned himself and said, "Wow! You two are amazing. Great choice." He went to Jay and grabbed her chin and looked her over, "This color suits you so well, not to mention the leather." He released her and went over to Jennifer. Jay raised an eyebrow at him and shook her head. "And you! Look at you, girl. You got it going on!" He snapped his fingers in front of her body and captured her face between his hands, "Just adorable." He squeaked delightedly and moved behind his precious camera. "Everybody, places! We're starting."
The singers walked to the white platform that was set in the middle of the room and stood, unmoving. "Okay. Can you look a bit enthusiastic about it? Give me everything you've got, show me what you're feeling, show the camera what you're feeling." Said Ron, waving his hands around, trying to get his meaning through.
Neither of the singers moved.
Ron took a deep breath and looked at them from above the camera. "Okaaaay." He pursed his lips in thought, "Jay, why don't you stand with your back against Jennifer's and try to look sexy for the camera. Strike a pose." Ron laughed at his joke and shrugged when no one else did.
The singers positioned themselves the way the photographer had asked. They were standing back to back, looking at the camera. Jay crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow and Jennifer moved a strand of her behind her ear. The click of the camera startled them as they weren't prepared for it. Ron started shooting from all kinds of angles, telling them how to stand and what to do, throwing the words "beautiful" and "sexy" from time to time. Jennifer smiled and gave the photographer what he wanted but Jay didn't change her expression all through the shoot. Her stoic look remained firmly in place, only her position changed. Jennifer was in front of the camera now and Jay was hovering in the background. Neither noticed that Ron kept shooting and he had only stopped to change the roll of film when they gazed at each other. Jennifer turned her head back slightly and looked at Jay over her shoulder, a soft frown on her forehead. Jay looked up at the same time and her expression softened for the first time that day. It became gentler and sad. Her eyes turned a deep shade of blue as they looked tenderly at Jennifer. Jennifer gave a small lopsided grin and that's how the picture was captured.
Ron was ecstatic, that was the best photograph he had taken that whole afternoon, if not in his whole life. He had never seen such a deep change in someone just from one look. Satisfied that he had gotten what he had been looking for, he said "It's wrap. Good job everybody."
Suddenly remembering where they were, the singers snapped from their trance and looked around. Ron walked over to them and shook both their hands. "Thank you. It was a pleasure to take your pictures. You did a great job." and then he leaned closer to Jay and whispered, "You're a lucky woman." He winked at her and left them alone. Again keeping silent, they went into the dressing room and changed back into their clothes.
Jonney walked to Jay and clapped her on the back, "You two were great. I'm almost positive he'll use that last shot. It was almost electric."
Jay frowned at him, "What last shot?"
"The one where you two looked at each other. That was...wow. I mean, I've never seen such a thing." He put his arm around both women's waist and walked them out of the studio. On the way out, Jennifer stopped them and went to the bathroom.
As they waited for Jennifer to finish up in the bathroom, Jonney took the opportunity to talk to Jay. "I know just the club we should go to tomorrow."
"Why? What's tomorrow?"
Jonney looked at her quizzically, "Jennifer's birthday..." He said matter-of-factly.
Jay shook herself and said, "Oh yeah, that."
"Don't sound too enthusiastic, you might rupture something from giddiness. What's the matter with you, huh?"
"Nothin'. We just had a fight. It doesn't matter. What are we going to do tomorrow?"
"Well..." He told her of the plans and smiled at Jennifer as she got out of the bathroom. In half an hour, they were back at their hotel. It was already 6:00 PM, and they were starving and tired. Jennifer got into the room first and flopped herself on the couch, expelling a loud, tired sigh. Jay went to the phone and ordered some roomservice.
"I ordered some food, I figured you must be as hungry as I am." Jay said quietly. Jennifer looked over the couch and smiled slightly, "Thanks, I am." It was a small, simple offering of peace and Jennifer was more than happy to take it.
Those were the first words they had spoken to each other since that morning that seemed so long ago. Each went to change into something more comfortable and to freshen up a bit. As soon as they settled back into the living room, the room service arrived. Jay tipped the boy and closed the door behind him. They pulled two chairs in front of the beautifully arranged cart and started eating. The silence drew on, making them terribly uncomfortable. They weren't used to feeling this way around each other and found out how terrible it actually felt. They swallowed the food heavily, the lump of pain and sadness that took permanent residence inside their chests wouldn't let them do even that. When they finally finished eating, they sat staring at the empty plates and fiddled with the napkins.
"I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry..."
They both said simultaneously. Smiling, they expelled the long held breath. Jay shook her head and put her hand over Jennifer's. "No, please let me. I'm sorry, it was all my fault. You were right, it was selfish and thoughtless of me to bring that girl up here. No one's worth this. No one's worth losing you over... my best friend."
Jennifer's eyes were brimming with tears as she caressed Jay's soft hand, "No, you were right. I was way out of line. It is none of my business what you do and you have all the right to bring whoever you want here. I just reacted poorly, I felt hurt...I don't really know why and when you defended her, I just felt worse. I'm so sorry."
Jay laughed lightly and said, "Let's just say that we were both right, or wrong, or whatever and accept the forgiveness of the other."
Jennifer smiled brightly and agreed. They got up from the table and Jay pulled Jennifer into a tight hug. She kissed her on the cheek and pulled her to the couch. "Let's watch a movie or something, how about it?"
"Sure."
They sat and watched a few movies until they fell asleep. Neither bothered to go back into their room and instead stayed cuddled on the sofa in front of the TV. Jay had moved to lay more comfortably on the sofa and pulled Jennifer up with her, propping her head on the crook of her shoulder. The demons that haunted them for the past day were gone for the moment and left them feeling content. With their arms enfolding each other, they drifted into a peaceful, relaxed sleep.