Loneliness eats away at my soul
more and more each day,
turning my thoughts inward.
I used to treasure solitude;
I saved it up like a miser,
taking the time for myself.
I used to love staying home alone.
No one to ask me for anything,
to demand,
to need, to beg, to take..
Now, my boys are men, out on their own,
and I find myself missing the sound of them.
The laughter, the youth, the discussion
(God help me, I almost miss the arguments.)
My steadfast spouse is gainfully employed,
my friends are working or busy with their lives
And I am standing still..
Marking time.
Watching the years speed past
A spectator.
Getting older and older,
grayer and grayer
Larger and rounder,
and more forlorn.

Ellie Maziekien

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