Jessie had just come outside and closed the cabin door when a car drove up. Mary Ruth Henniger climbed out gracefully and walked over to her.
"Mary Ruth, how are you today?" Jessie asked pleasantly.
"Very good, thank you."
She had a folded piece of paper in her hand and Jessie raised her eyebrows questioningly.
"What brings you out?" she asked.
"Well, I just had the strangest phone call. Annie Stone, who hasn't called me in all the years she's lived out here, rang me up to give a message to her daughter. She insisted Jessie Stone was staying at one of my cabins. She described you and I told her you weren't Jessie Stone. Why, Jessie Stone hasn't been here since her daddy died. But she insisted I give you a message."
Jessie laughed nervously, wondering how to tell this kind woman that she had been using an alias.
"Actually, I am Jessie Stone. I'm sorry."
"Well, I'll be," Mary Ruth murmured. "You've cut your beautiful long hair off. No wonder."
Jessie laughed again. It was the first thing she had done when she'd moved to San Francisco all those years ago. Her hair had reached nearly to her waist when she'd lived here. Jack always said he liked her with long hair.
"I didn't want anyone to know who I was when I came here in August," she explained. "I'm sorry about the Jennifer Parker thing."
"Well, imagine that. We all assumed you had left for good," she said. "What in the world are you doing here?" she asked bluntly.
"I came to see my mother," she said simply. She pointed at the note in her hands. "What's the message?"
"Oh, here," she said, handing her the note. "She's wants you to call her. That's her number there. You're welcome to use my phone," Mary Ruth offered.
"Thanks, but I've got a phone. I appreciate you coming all the way out here though," Jessie said politely. She waited for Mary Ruth to drive off before calling Annie.
"It's Jessie. Is everything all right?"
"Yes. Nothing's wrong, I just didn't know how else to reach you," Annie explained. "I tried calling Chris but I can't find her."
"Oh. I didn't think to give you the number to my cell phone."
"Well, we didn't really talk about when we would get together again and tonight is my normal night to have dinner with Chris. I thought, well, you should join us. I'm sure Chris won't mind," Annie said. "I so want the two of you to be friends," she added.
Jessie smiled and nodded, wondering what Annie's reaction would be if she knew just how close they had been this summer.
"I understand. And I don't think she would mind, other than me cutting in on her time with you," Jessie said lightly. "I actually saw her last night at the Rock House. We had a chance to visit."
"Good. So that means you'll come?"
"I'll come, Annie. Thank you."
After the call ended, Jessie stood staring into the trees reflectively. Would Chris mind? She didn't think so. After all, they'd had an enjoyable visit last night. Then Jessie remembered the quiet, fleeting kiss she had given Chris when they parted. The soft sigh that Chris uttered had been nearly enough to make Jessie deepen the kiss but she had not dared. Instead, she pulled away after the briefest of touches but not before she saw the thinly veiled desire that Chris had tried to hide.
But she doubted they would have any time alone tonight. Besides, with Chris there, she and Annie would most likely not get into any heavy discussions which was just fine with her. After yesterday, her emotions were still a bit raw.
Jessie drove into town, finishing the task she had started before Mary Ruth had come by with her message. Firewood. Chris had said the lodge sold it and she filled the back of her SUV for a mere thirty dollars.
She stacked it neatly on the back porch but after making the many trips to and from her car with armloads of wood, she was too tired for her afternoon jog. Instead, a nap sounded too good to pass up and she stretched out on the sofa, a deep sleep claiming her almost instantly.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Jessie tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of a county-western song that she'd never heard a day in her life but it was the only station she could pick up. She glanced forlornly at the CD player, wishing she had thought to bring a couple, at least. Then she glanced at her phone. She should really call McKenna and warn her that she'd be there. But her eyes flicked back to the road. Surely Chris wouldn't mind.
She knocked on Annie's door a short time later and heard Annie call to her. A feeling of familiarity settled over her as she opened the front door and walked inside.
"I'm in the kitchen," Annie called. "Jessie or Chris?"
Jessie laughed and shook her head. Who would have thought that just a few months ago her life had been so dark?
"It's Jessie," she called.
She glanced around the living room, her eyes traveling to the stairs. Maybe today she would tour the house, see what became of her old room. And Jack's study. It was the only place she was not allowed. She closed her eyes briefly, remembering the sound of the front door slamming and her running feet taking the stairs two at a time on her way to her room after school. She also remembered that she never called to Annie in those days, to let her know that she was home, to ask about her day and tell Annie about hers. She opened her eyes to push the memories away and was startled by the voice behind her.
"Jessie?"
She turned around quickly. "Hello, Annie."
"You're welcome to look around, Jessie," she offered gently.
"Oh, I don't know," Jessie said, dismayed that she was blushing.
"Suit yourself," Annie said with a smile and disappeared again into the kitchen.
Jessie stood there, arms wrapped securely around herself but she couldn't stop her eyes from traveling up the stairs again. Before she knew it, her hand rested on the banister and her right foot paused on the bottom step. Two of Annie's paintings hung on the wall along the stairway and she glanced at them briefly before continuing up. At the top, she looked left and down the hall, which led to the master bedroom and the spare room where Jack had slept, then she turned to the right and stared at the door to her old room.
The door was closed and her hand settled over the knob tightly. She paused only a second before opening it and she stood there in the doorway, her breath catching. She felt tears gather in her eyes but she ignored them as she stepped inside. Annie had left it just the way Jessie had that morning she had walked out all those years before. On the wall, her high school pennant still hung along with a ribbon from a game, announcing 'Go Bears! Beat the Lions!' On the opposite wall, tacked up over her old desk, was a map of the National Forest and Sierra City. She had highlighted all of the different trails that she had hiked and her eyes traveled over them, remembering. Her bookshelf was still neatly stacked with her childhood books, save the few she had crammed into her suitcase when she left.
As she looked around the room, it dawned on her that she had not adorned the walls with posters like most adolescent girls would have. Actually, there was nothing else in the room. No pictures, no personal items. Then she noticed the hardback books propped up in one corner of her bookshelf. Her books. She pulled one out and glanced at her photo on the back, her eyes nearly lifeless in the picture. She wondered what Annie had thought. She put the book back and walked to the bed and gently touched the quilt. In all the years she had lived here, she had never once made up her bed, but every day when she'd returned from school, it was neatly made up again.
"Are you okay?" Annie asked from the doorway.
"Why did you leave all this?" she asked, waving her arms around the room.
"I always hoped you would come back, I guess. After awhile, when I knew you wouldn't, I had plans to clean it out and give your stuff away, but I never could. It's been so many years now . . .." She shrugged, leaving the thought hanging between them.
Jessie turned around and faced her.
"What about Jack's stuff?" After he had died, Jessie wouldn't allow Annie to disturb his study or his bedroom.
"I gave most of it away, Jessie. I did keep some things that I thought you might like, though. They're in a box in the basement along with a few pictures of the two of you."
"No. I don't think there's anything that I would want," she said quietly.
"Well, it's there if you change your mind. If not, we can get rid of it." Annie turned to leave but Jessie called her back.
"Annie, why did you hang onto me all these years?"
Annie turned back around and faced her.
"You're my daughter. I gave birth to you, brought you into this world. Jack couldn't take that away from me."
"I'm so sorry," Jessie whispered, letting her tears flow.
"Oh, Jessie. Don't cry, honey. It's not your fault." Annie walked into the room and stood before Jessie and took her hands. She was afraid Jessie would rebuff her offer of comfort but she pulled her into her arms anyway.
Jessie succumbed to the hug, but only briefly before pulling away. She wiped at her cheeks and like any good mother, Annie miraculously produced a tissue from her pocket and they smiled at each other as Jessie dried her eyes and blew her nose.
They walked together into the room that used to be Jack's and Jessie was surprised to discover that Annie had turned it into a library. Every wall was lined with shelves overflowing with books. In the center of the room was a recliner, a floor lamp and a small end table.
"Wow. You've read all of these?" Jessie asked as her eyes traveled over the numerous books, some classics, but most just popular fiction, from mysteries to romance.
"Oh, yes. I love to read. In the winter, especially, I'll sit nearly all day in here or by the fire."
They went back downstairs and Annie went into the kitchen to check on dinner. "Go ahead and look in the study," she called.
Jessie was about to decline but she shrugged. It wasn't so bad after all, this tour of her old house. She walked through the living room and down a short hallway. This was where Jack had spent most of his time at home. Occasionally, she would be allowed to join him, sitting on the sofa doing homework while he sat in his big chair and smoked a cigar, the daily paper spread out before him.
She pushed open the door and her eyes widened in surprise. The room had been turned into a studio for Annie. The two outside walls had been replaced with glass that offered spectacular views of the forest and Sierra Peak, now white with snow. Annie had several finished paintings stacked against one wall, but other than that neat stacking, the rest of the room was a mess. Her easel stood empty in the center of the room, a stained drop cloth lying beneath it. On the only table in the room, jars of brushes and containers of paint littered the top. This room was so different from the rest of the house, which was orderly and neat.
"I don't even try to keep it clean anymore," Annie said from the doorway.
"The view is incredible, Annie. I like it."
Annie walked into the room and peered up at Sierra Peak. "I didn't know how you would react to the house, Jessie. I didn't leave any reminders of Jack. I hope you understand why."
"Of course I understand, Annie. I wouldn't have expected you to." She met Annie's eyes for an instant. "I'm sorry it took me so long to . . . remember, to get back out here. It seems we've wasted so many years between us."
"I'm not that old," Annie said with a quiet laugh. "I hope we still have a few good ones left."
"I'll admit, I didn't think it would be this easy being here, being around you. You're not at all like I remember."
"If you had come here a few years ago, especially before Roger moved back here, things probably would be different. I was a very bitter woman for many years. Roger gave me an outlet to talk about the past and try to put everything in perspective. Now, there's Chris. She's been such a joy to me. She comes over a couple of times a week and we play cards and talk and drink wine."
Annie gently pushed Jessie from the room and closed the door behind her. Jessie settled on the sofa while Annie bent to get the fire started. Jessie was curious as to just how much Annie had told Chris about the old days. The look on her face must have said as much.
"Oh, don't think we sat around here and talked about you all the time. She was reading one of your books when she moved here and Roger told her who you were and that I lived here. She was naturally curious and on our first couple of visits we talked about you, but we've become friends. She keeps me up on the local gossip now," Annie said and laughed.
"I'm glad you invited me tonight, but I don't want to cut in on your time with her," Jessie said.
"Nonsense. I want you two to get to know each other better. I really hope you'll be friends."
"I think we'll be fine, Annie. I like Chris a lot."
"Good." She bent again to stick a match to the paper and they watched as it caught.
"Annie, tell me about the man you were seeing in San Francisco," Jessie said suddenly.
"My, where did that question come from?"
Jessie shrugged. "Chris told me some."
"His name was Jonathan and he was the attorney I went to see," she said.
"Why did you see an attorney?"
"I was going to divorce Jack. You were twelve and I was lonely," Annie said simply. "Only I couldn't go through with it, but Jonathan and I had become friends and he was someone to talk to. I would see him once or twice a month and eventually we became more than friends." Annie looked into the fire, seeing nothing, picturing Jonathan's warm face. "He was quite a bit older than me and a widower, but such a gentle man, Jessie, and I fell in love with him."
"Why didn't you go through with it?"
"Oh, I don't want to place any more guilt on you, Jessie, but I was worried about you. I didn't want to leave you alone here with Jack, in case you needed me. I was going to wait until you graduated high school, then go be with him."
"Only Jack found out first," Jessie said.
"Yes."
"Why didn't you go after Jack died? After I left?"
"After Jack died, I wouldn't see him at first, wouldn't even talk to him. It was very difficult at that time."
"You mean, I was difficult," Jessie stated. She did feel guilty. It was her fault that Annie had never had a life.
"Not just you, Jessie. The whole situation. Regardless, we stopped seeing each other," Annie said.
"What about later?"
"We talked occasionally, after you left, but it was never the same. He died a few years later," she said softly.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't think it's your fault. It's just life, is all. Some things, we can't control. Remember that."
Jessie nodded and again felt tears prick her eyes.
"Anyway, I made out just fine."
Annie left, saying she needed to check on dinner, and Jessie suspected she had tears in her own eyes.
Ten minutes later, Chris tapped on the door and let herself in. Jessie was sitting on the sofa, flipping through a magazine. Her eyes flew up, meeting Chris' questioning ones easily.
"Hi," she said. She put the magazine down and stood, lightly crossing her arms.
"Hello, Jessie." Chris closed the door but stood there, unmoving. "I didn't expect to see you here," she said. "Everything okay?"
"Yes, fine. Annie invited me," she explained. Then lowered her voice. "I guess I should warn you, she intends for us to be friends," she said with a smile.
"I see. Guess we don't have a choice then." She walked slowly over to Jessie and stood in front of her, her lips forming into a smile. "I'm glad you're getting along. You are getting along, right?"
"Oh yes. It's been fine. I never would have believed it possible," she confessed. "It's almost as if we've not been estranged all these years, you know. I mean, there's still a lot we've not discussed but I don't know if we even need to. What good will it do? I think maybe just starting fresh with us is the way it should be."
"I think if that will work for you both, then go for it. You might be right. What good will it do to drag out all the old history and get you both upset?"
"I guess. Although my therapist would probably think that was a terrible idea. She likes everything out in the open and hashed over a hundred times before she's satisfied."
Chris nodded and allowed her eyes to be held by Jessie's before looking towards the kitchen.
"What's she whipping up?"
"Spaghetti, I think."
"Oh, goody. My favorite."
Chris walked to the kitchen and Jessie followed.
"Why, Chris, I didn't hear you come in," Annie said, when they walked into the kitchen. She lifted her cheek for Chris' kiss and smiled up at her.
"Smells good, Annie."
"Oh, please. You'll say that about anything," she said and laughed. "You two go visit," she said, pushing them from the kitchen. "I'll be out in a bit. Here, take the wine." She shoved the bottle into Chris' hands and the glasses into Jessie's.
Any pretense that Chris had of ignoring her attraction to Jessie fled the instant their fingers touched as she handed Jessie a glass of wine. She knew Jessie felt it, too, for her eyes locked on Chris'.
"I hope you're not upset with me," Jessie finally said.
"Upset? Why?"
"I didn't really plan on kissing you last night. But . . . well, it was just too tempting," Jessie said lightly.
"Oh, that," Chris said just as lightly. "It was nothing."
"Nothing? Well, I'll have to do better next time."
Chris held Jessie's gaze before lowering her eyes to Jessie's lips.
"Will there be a next time?" she asked.
Jessie leaned closer, feeling the heat that radiated from Chris, suddenly wishing that they were alone.
"Yes. Without a doubt," Jessie stated.
Chris tried to break the hold that Jessie had on her but she failed miserably. Despite what had happened between them before, she knew she wanted another chance with Jessie. A chance at what, she wasn't really sure. One night of passion? But what if it ended like the last?
Jessie saw the doubts cloud Chris' eyes and she knew she was remembering their last aborted attempt at lovemaking. There was so much she wanted to tell Chris about her feelings that night, about what had driven her to do that, what always drove her to that. But now was not the time. Instead, she changed the subject away from them.
"You know, I wasn't sure if you'd mind that I came tonight or not. I know this is your normal time with Annie. She thinks the world of you, by the way."
Chris smiled and sipped from her wine before answering.
"We usually finish the evening with her beating me in cards and she makes me drink another bottle of wine and I feel like shit the next day," she said with a laugh, acknowledging Jessie's subtle shift in their conversation. "Maybe I can get her to cut me some slack tonight."
"What's so funny?"
They both looked up at Annie who held an empty wineglass. Jessie reached for the bottle to fill it.
"Chris was telling me how you force her to drink two bottles of wine while you beat her at cards," Jessie said.
"Oh, please. I could beat her at cards if she was stone sober," Annie laughed.
Chris smiled, pleased that Annie was so relaxed this evening. She had a glow about her and Chris knew it was because of Jessie.
They were quiet as they looked from one to the other, then Annie smiled broadly.
"I can't remember the last time I've been this happy. My two favorite girls here at the same time. Thank you both."
Jessie blushed and looked at Chris who smiled quietly while watching her.
"Girls, huh?" Chris murmured.
"Yes, girls," Annie said. "I've been thinking. You know Thanksgiving is coming up," she said shyly. "I haven't actually celebrated it in a lot of years, but I thought this year, well, I have so much to be thankful for. Perhaps Roger and his Ellen might come, if you two thought we could have a dinner together."
"I think that's a great idea," Chris said.
"Yeah. That would be nice," Jessie agreed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd celebrated it either.
"I might even break down and cook a turkey. I doubt Roger would come otherwise," Annie said.
She was nearly beaming and Chris couldn't hold in her laugh. She doubted Annie had planned a dinner party in forty years.
"What?" Annie demanded.
"Nothing," Chris said, hiding her smile with her hand. "It's just . . . well, I've never seen you like this."
"Like what?"
"Well . . . happy, Annie."
Annie blushed and busied herself with the fire while Chris and Jessie shared smiles.
"I'm happy, too," Jessie said. "And I think I have the most to be thankful for."
Annie turned around and Chris watched the warm smile transform Annie's face as she looked at Jessie.
"Let's eat, huh?"
Chris was the only one who went back for seconds but was not the least bit shy while she piled her plate high a second time.
"I think she starves herself in-between our dinner dates," Annie explained to Jessie. "She eats likes she's starving, anyway."
"I think you're right. Last night, I saw her plate at the Rock House. I don't think she even knew what it was."
"I don't think it's polite to talk about me as if I'm not here," Chris said around a mouthful.
"Why do you insist on eating there?" Annie asked.
"Because I can't cook, as you very well know."
"Nonsense. How hard can it be?"
"Okay, I don't like to cook. Is that better?"
Annie reached across the table and patted her hand.
"I'm just teasing you. It does my heart good to cook a decent meal and have you consume it with such gusto."
Jessie watched the exchange between them, feeling a stab of jealously at the easy banter they enjoyed. She looked up, startled to find Chris watching her.
"Did you ever get any firewood?" Chris asked suddenly.
"I picked some up at the lodge today."
"Good. We're getting a storm in a couple of days. I was going to take Bobby and Greg out for training tomorrow, while things are fairly slow here, but Roger said he got word that we might get ten inches down here in town."
"But not tomorrow?" Annie asked.
"No. But we've not put out all the cross-county ski markers yet so I'll help with that tomorrow. I'm sure if we get a good snow, we'll be packed with skiers this weekend."
"It seems every year around Thanksgiving we get a storm. But it'll be fun to pull out my snowshoes." She turned to Jessie then, to include her in their conversation. "I love to hike and I don't like winter to slow me down."
"Do you ski, too?"
"Oh, no. I tried those long skis but ended up on my butt more than my feet," Annie said and they laughed. "I stick to walking." She paused. "Do you ski?"
Jessie shook her head. She had learned to cross-country ski as a kid, but had not been out since she had left.
"No, I've really not had the opportunity," she said, not wanting to explain her avoidance of anything that would remind her of the mountains.
"Well, if you feel the need to try, you can go out with me," Chris offered.
"Thank you. If we get the chance between now and December 20th, I'm in."
"The 20th?"
"That's when I've got to be out of the cabin," Jessie explained.
Chris nodded slowly. She had known that Jessie would be leaving, of course. Back to New York.
"But that doesn't mean you have to leave then, does it?" Annie asked. "I told you . . .."
"That's more than a month away, Annie. Let's just see what happens."
An uncomfortable silence settled around them and Chris twirled the uneaten spaghetti on her plate absently. Annie finished the small amount of wine in her glass and Jessie stared at her own empty glass. Chris tried to think of something witty to say to break the tension, but nothing came. Annie finally stood up and took the empty bottle of wine into the kitchen. Chris knew she would return with another one.
"I'm sorry," Jessie said softly.
"You don't have to apologize to me," Chris said.
"She offered a room here," Jessie explained. "But I just think that would be too strange. I mean, it's been so many years."
Chris met her eyes across the table and held them.
"If you want to leave, then leave. But don't use the excuse that you don't have a place to stay."
Jessie's eyes flashed but she knew she should not be angry with Chris. She had spoken the truth. In fact, it had been a comfort that she had to be out by the 20th. It gave her an excuse, if she needed it, to flee.
Annie came back in and stood at the table with another bottle of wine. She looked at Chris first before addressing Jessie.
"You just came back into my life," she said. "The idea of you leaving again so soon is painful. I'm sorry. But you do what you have to do. You have a place here if you'd like to stay longer."
"Thank you, Annie. We'll see when the time comes."
"Good. Fair enough. Now, let's take the wine into the living room and enjoy the fire."
Their conversation moved to less personal things and Chris filled Annie in on what was happening in town and Jessie listened quietly, only occasionally interjecting her own thoughts. They stayed nearly another hour before Chris yawned and stood.
"I should really get going. I'll be hiking all over the place tomorrow, I'm sure. Thanks again for dinner, Annie. It was delicious, as always." She bent quickly and kissed Annie's cheek.
"I should get going, too," Jessie said. As much as she was enjoying her visit with Annie, she wanted a chance to finish her conversation with Chris.
"I understand," Annie said.
"Tomorrow may be my last day to get a run in before the snows come," Jessie offered as an excuse.
"I didn't know you jogged," Annie said as she walked them to the door.
"My lone form of exercise, I'm afraid. I'm not a serious runner, though. I usually only do five miles or so."
"And that's not serious?" Chris asked. "Just give me a hiking trail and I'll be fine."
"Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Annie. You've got my phone number, right?"
"Yes. And you've got mine."
Chris and Jessie walked out together, then stopped between the Jeep and Jessie's rental, their backs to the house. The cedar blocked out the light from the porch and they stood in the shadows, watching each other as their breath frosted around them.
"Was that rough on you?" Chris asked. "I mean, about your leaving in a month."
"A little. It's not like I'm in a hurry to get back, that's not it. I've got my apartment there, but nothing else. I'm just not sure staying here with her would be a good idea. Not yet, anyway."
"Well, like you said, you can decide when the time comes."
They were quiet and Chris shifted her feet, not wanting the evening to end but knowing she should go.
Jessie glanced up at the house to see if Annie could see them, then moved closer to Chris.
"When can I see you again?" she asked quietly.
"See me? I'm sure we'll see each other, Jessie."
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
"You mean, like a date?" Chris asked with a small smile.
"A date? Well, if that's what you want to call it. I just want to see you, to spend time with you." It was Jessie's turn to fidget and she shifted from one foot to the other. "In case you haven't realized it . . . I'm extremely attracted to you."
"Extremely?"
"Yeah, McKenna, extremely."
Chris searched Jessie's eyes, trying to figure out what game Jessie was playing, if any. Her breath caught when she saw desire in Jessie's dark eyes, desire that she didn't even try to hide. She shook her head slowly but was unable to look away. Those black eyes were drawing her close, pulling her in and she tried to resist their power but she was paralyzed. She stood there, as unmoving as the mountains around them, watching as Jessie moved closer, her head bending to Chris' ear.
"If you don't stop looking at me that way, I'll be forced to kiss you right here," Jessie whispered into her ear. She pulled back slowly, breathing deeply, remembering the unique smell of Chris from other nights. Was it cologne or simply the sweet smell of cedars and the mountains? She saw Chris' pulse throbbing rapidly in her throat and she wanted to put her mouth there. And it was all so new to her, this attraction. For the first time in her life, she ached to wake up with a lover in her bed. Not alone and with all the emptiness that usually followed after her nights out with strangers.
Chris moved her head without thinking, taking the lips that were so close to her own. Jessie lips were soft, tender . . . so unlike the bruising kisses that she remembered from that night on the ledge.
Jessie moved into Chris' arms, sliding her own over Chris' shoulders. She pressed her body flush against Chris, her eyes closed as her mouth opened to the kiss and she searched out Chris' tongue, pulling it inside her own mouth.
"I want you so much," Jessie whispered. "Please, come home with me," she pleaded, uttering the one phrase she had never said to anyone before.
"Jessie . . .."
"Please. Make love to me. Let me make love to you." Her hands slid down and cupped Chris' small breasts, her hands as hungry as her mouth.
Chris lost her resolve and pulled Jessie up against her, her hips pressing into Jessie's. She felt herself grow wet and she ached for Jessie's touch.
"I'll follow you," Chris whispered into Jessie's ear. "Hurry."
Chris drove without thinking. She wanted her. She had wanted her since the first time they met, since before that even. She couldn't stop what was about to happen even if she wanted to. She refused to think about the last time.
When the cabin door closed behind them, Jessie pushed Chris against the wall, her mouth starving for her kisses. They pressed together, lips and tongues moving wildly as they struggled to touch through their clothes.
Jessie grabbed the bottom of Chris' shirt and pulled it over her head in one quick motion, then tossed it carelessly to the floor as Chris pulled Jessie's head to her breasts. Jessie's mouth opened and she sucked a nipple into her mouth, her tongue grazing it as Chris gently held her head to her.
"Yes," Chris whispered. She had wanted this for so long, she wasn't sure her legs would support her now as she watched Jessie at her breast. She felt her wetness soak her jeans and she reached blindly for Jessie's hand and pressed it hard against herself.
"Oh, Jesus," Jessie murmured. "You're so wet."
Her hands fumbled with Chris' jeans, finally pushing them down enough to touch her. Her fingers glided through her warmth, dripping wet as she touched her. Chris moaned loudly and clutched Jessie to her as Jessie's fingers plunged deep inside her. She withdrew slightly, then buried herself again inside her as her tongue battled with Chris'. She finally pulled out and stroked her, feeling Chris throb against her fingertips. Chris' hands dug into Jessie's shoulders and Jessie felt her tremble seconds before her orgasm hit.
Chris leaned her head against the wall, her breath coming in rapid gasps. Too fast. It was just too fast, but she couldn't hold back another second.
Jessie's own chest heaved, her body throbbing with need as she pressed against Chris. Had it ever felt like this? Had she ever wanted to scream in pleasure as someone touched her? Had she ever wanted to give pleasure? No, it was just a means to an end. But this was different. The thought of Chris touching her, making love to her because she wanted to make love to her, was almost more than she could bear. She dipped her head lazily and lightly kissed Chris' breast, her tongue coming out to tease a nipple.
"Jessie," Chris whispered. "The bedroom."
Jessie pulled away, her eyes clouded with desire as she took Chris' hand and led her silently into the bedroom. Chris pulled Jessie's top off with ease and her hands lightly brushed her nipples through her bra before removing that as well.
They shed their jeans quickly, then Jessie pulled Chris after her, feeling her weight settle on top of her aroused body. She wanted Chris to hurry. She wanted her to take her now, quickly. But Chris simply touched her, hands moving lightly over her stomach then up, brushing her nipples, making her want Chris even more.
"Chris, please. Touch me," she whispered.
Chris had a brief flash to the other time Jessie had begged her to touch her, but she knew it would be different this time. Her hand slid slowly down Jessie's body, feeling her tremble at her touch. She dipped her head and took Jessie's nipple into her mouth, suddenly hungry for her, not wanting to wait any longer.
Jessie arched and held Chris' head to her breast, waiting as Chris' hand parted her legs.
Chris found her wetness and moved slowly into it, moaning against the breast in her mouth as Jessie whimpered softly against her head.
"Oh, yes," Jessie breathed and her hips moved to meet Chris' fingers. "God, Chris, please, I want your mouth on me," she whispered.
"Yes. I want that, too."
Chris left her breast and kissed her smooth belly before settling between her thighs. She nudged them farther apart, then cupped her rounded hips, letting her tongue move over her thighs, teasing.
"Please," Jessie begged and her hips rose, searching for Chris' mouth.
Chris breathed deeply, savoring her scent and she closed her eyes and touched her, her mouth opening over her, her tongue diving into her wetness.
"God, yes," Jessie whispered. Her hips moved, meeting Chris' plunging tongue as it moved within her.
All gentleness gone, Chris wanted to devour Jessie and her lips sucked hungrily at her, her shoulders pushing Jessie's legs farther apart, higher on her shoulders and she took Jessie into her mouth, her face covered in her wetness. Her tongue stroked her swollen clit and Jessie wrapped her legs around Chris and held her to her, her hips rising again to press Chris more firmly against her. Chris felt the trembling under her mouth as Jessie's legs tightened around her head.
Jessie exploded, her eyes shut tight against the blinding flash that consumed her and she felt herself pulse into Chris' mouth as she continued to stroke her. Wave after wave washed over her and she screamed out with pleasure, nearly embarrassed by the sounds that came from her throat. Finally, her legs fell limply to the bed and she was too spent to even hold Chris to her.
"Dear God in heaven," she whispered. "I knew it would be like that with you."
Chris lay beside her, resting on her side as she took Jessie's hand and kissed her palm gently. Yes, she had known it, too.
Jessie rolled over onto her elbow and touched Chris' face with her fingertips.
"I want to make love to you that way. I want to know what you taste like."
"I don't know if I could stand it," Chris said with a gentle smile. "I feel like a teenager around you."
"Hush, lay back," Jessie whispered.
Chris rolled onto her back, eyes closed as she waited for Jessie's mouth to touch her. She was surprised when soft lips touched her own, gently moving against her. She opened to them, inviting Jessie's tongue into her mouth. Warm hands cupped her breasts and she moved into them, loving the feel of Jessie's hands on her. Jessie's mouth took her nipple and her teeth gently nipped at her and Chris moaned low in her throat, her legs parting even before Jessie's hand moved to her.
"You're so wet," Jessie murmured into her breast. "I can't wait to taste you," she said and she moved down her body, teasing Chris, letting her tongue wet her inner thighs. But she didn't tease long. Chris shoved at her shoulders, urging her to hurry and Jessie gathered Chris' thighs around her and lowered her mouth to her wetness.
They moaned together as Jessie covered her and Chris grasped at the sheets, her fists pulling them from their moorings as she surged up to meet Jessie, her hips rising off the bed.
Jessie's tongue licked at her, stroking her fast but she felt Chris nearing orgasm and she pulled back. She wasn't nearly ready for it to end. She heard Chris whimper and she went back to her, her tongue delving inside her warmth, her mouth covering her again. She slowed, wanting it to last, but Chris grasped her head, holding her hard against her and Jessie's tongue moved over her quickly, feeling Chris swell inside her mouth. When Chris arched her hips, Jessie sucked her swollen clit inside her mouth, her tongue taking her at last, feeling Chris' release as she pulsed against her mouth, as she cried out into the night.
Arms wrapped together as Jessie covered Chris with her body, feeling her heart beating wildly in her chest.
Chris was afraid to speak, so she lay with her eyes closed, holding Jessie to her as she drifted off to sleep, exhausted.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Jessie stirred as she felt Chris pull out of her arms. She rolled over, noting that the sun was already shining into the window. It did nothing to warm the room, though. She had forgotten to turn on the heater last night and now the early morning chill surrounded them.
"Where are you going?" she asked sleepily, reaching out to touch Chris' bare back as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Busy day."
"Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"Do we need to talk?" Jessie asked. She sat up too, moving behind Chris and wrapping her arms around her. Her nipples hardened as she pressed her breasts against Chris' back. She closed her eyes and sighed, the lingering scent of their lovemaking arousing her again, like it had done a few hours earlier.
Chris squeezed her eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to lay back down with Jessie and make love to her once again. But in the light of day, reality showed its face and she felt her fears surface.
"Talk to me," Jessie whispered. "Please don't just leave."
"Last night was . . . beyond words, really," Chris finally said. "When you left this summer, I thought about you a lot. I thought about making love with you. I wanted to make love with you. But when you came back, I was afraid to be near you. I was so afraid that if we tried, it would end up like that last time and I couldn't do that again. That's not how I wanted it to be with us."
Jessie pulled back a little, but her hands continued to rub slowly across Chris' back.
"It won't ever be like that again. Chris, I'm sorry about that night but there is nothing I can do to change it. Not now. You know, I thought about you, too, while I was gone. But when I thought about you, about us, it wasn't that last night together that I remembered. It was the night we went camping. It was just the two of us. It was all so innocent and for the first time in my life, I wanted to make love with someone. There was no agenda, no games being played in a bar, no need to have unsatisfying sex with a stranger, no underlying need to hurt," she finished in a whisper. "It was just us and when you kissed me, for the first time in my life, I felt an attraction to someone that was so strong, I was ready to forget everything about myself and just . . . make love."
Chris turned around to face Jessie, seeing the glistening of tears in her eyes.
"I don't know what you want from me," Chris said softly. "I'm scared. I mean, you're here for at least a month. If we spend that time being more than friends, being intimate with each other, then when you leave, I don't think I'll be able to just dismiss it as a summer fling, Jessie. I'm too old for one-night-stands."
"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" Jessie reached up and lightly ran her fingertip over Chris' eyebrows then across her cheek. "I just want a chance," Jessie whispered.
"A chance at what?"
"A chance at a normal relationship," she stated. "I don't know how, McKenna. All these years, there's just been one person after another." She felt tears prick her eyes again but she held Chris' gaze steady. "So many, I couldn't even begin to count. And I couldn't tell you a one of their names. Then I met you up there one day," she said, motioning out the window with her head. "And I liked you. I mean, I liked you as a person. And that scared me," she said with a smile. "I never like anybody. But I'll admit, I wanted to play my little game with you, see how long it would take . . . but I liked you. And it mattered what you thought of me. That's why I curse myself for using you that night, for lumping you in with all the others. But in my eyes, it wasn't you anymore. You were just a woman that would make me forget everything. And I desperately needed to forget everything that night."
"I'm sorry," Chris said quietly.
But Jessie smiled.
"I'm apologizing to you, McKenna. You're not supposed to say you're sorry. I am."
"Okay," Chris nodded and leaned over to kiss Jessie lightly. "I understand what you needed that night. I'm sorry I didn't understand it then."
"Thank you. And thank you for last night. It was a first for me, by the way."
"A first?"
"A first to invite someone to my home, to my bed. A first to wake up with someone in my arms," Jessie said shyly. "I liked it."
"Well, you want to try for two nights?"
"Two nights, McKenna? Won't Dillon disown you?"
"Shit! I forgot about him. He probably froze his ass off last night," she said as she stood. "I better get going, anyway. We have a lot of trails to mark today."
Jessie watched as Chris walked naked to the heater and turned it on before bending to retrieve her jeans from the floor. Jessie left the warmth of the covers and walked to Chris, her hands moving over Chris' still exposed breasts. She couldn't stop herself as she lowered her mouth to capture an aroused nipple.
"Jessie . . . oh," Chris breathed, her hands leaving the jeans undone as they roamed over Jessie's naked back before settling over her hips. She pulled Jessie flush against her, hearing the low moan come from Jessie. When Jessie raised her head, Chris found her mouth, kissing her hard before pushing her away. If they didn't stop now, they never would.
"Do you have any idea how much I want you?" Jessie asked, but she turned away from Chris and grabbed her robe. "I'm not used to this, McKenna. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry for wanting me. I'm sorry I have to leave."
"How about if we cook something at your place tonight?" Jessie asked as she tied her robe tightly around herself and followed Chris into the living room. She was unusually nervous, she realized. As she had said, she wasn't used to this.
Chris slipped the sweatshirt over her head and tried to tame her hair by running impatient fingers through it. She looked at Jessie, who stood in her bare feet waiting for her answer. Then she smiled and walked closer, taking Jessie's hands in her own.
"You know, Jessie, I'm not exactly used to this either. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act this morning . . . but last night was incredible. And I definitely would love to repeat it often," she said before touching her lips lightly to Jessie's. "And I wish like hell I didn't have to leave this morning," she murmured against Jessie's lips as their kiss deepened.
Jessie finally stepped away when she realized she was on the verge of begging Chris to stay. And that, she was definitely not used to.
"I tell you what," Chris said. "I'll leave the back door unlocked. You can go over whenever you want, if you feel like cooking. I'll try to make it an early day," she said.
"So, I have free-range of your kitchen?"
"Yes. But you've also seen what my fridge has to offer, so . . .."
"I'll bring the food, McKenna."
"Good. I'll see you soon."
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Chris listened to her messages while she drove the short distance to her own cabin. Two from Roger. The first reminding her that they were marking trails today and the second demanding to know where the hell she was. The third was from Bobby, wondering if they needed to send out S.A.R. for her.
"Very funny," she said out loud. But she needed to hurry. It was already after nine.
Her cabin was frigid and she ignored the nearly screaming Dillon while she started the heater in the bedroom.
"I'm sorry, okay, but I forgot about you," she told him. He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she filled his food bowl, then flipped his tail and walked away without touching it. "Spoiled brat," she called after him.
She hurried through her shower, then changed clothes twice before leaving. The sky had been nearly cloudless when she left Jessie's. Now, the clouds covered the sun and the temperature was still in the low 20s. Silk longjohns went under her jeans and she put an extra layer under her sweater, too.
She called Roger as soon as she left her cabin. She was hoping to avoid his questions until later but she didn't know if she needed to go to the Ranger Station or just meet Matt out on the trails.
"Where the hell are you?" Roger demanded. "Bobby was ready to send out a search."
"You know, I have a life, too, Roger. I'm sorry I didn't check in with you first."
"It's damn near ten o'clock, McKenna," he pointed out.
"I'm sorry. Something . . . came up," she said lamely.
"Dinner at Annie's last night? What, is she getting to be too much for you?"
Chris was tempted to just tell him the truth, but she didn't know if Jessie was ready for that. For that matter, she wasn't sure she was, either.
"Look, is Matt already out? Should I just meet him somewhere?"
"He and Greg are out doing Ridge Trail. I sent Hatcher out with Bobby to finish up the South Rim."
"Hatcher? Good God, no wonder there's a storm coming," she said.
"Yeah. I'm sure he's plenty pissed at you."
"About damn time he does some field work."
"Well, you'll be happy to know he's asked for a transfer. Apparently, cold weather is not his thing. He's requested Florida."
"Well, good for him. Maybe his daddy can put him on a boat to patrol the Keys or something. I'll be there in a second, Roger."
She hung up without waiting for his response and tossed the phone between the seats. The first flakes were falling by the time she got to the Ranger station. A day early.
"What's with the snow?" she asked Roger when she walked in.
"Oh, they gave me some meteorological bullshit about the jet stream dropping and pulling in moisture from somewhere. All their damn computers and they miss the storm by a day."
She followed him into his office after accepting a cup of coffee from Kay.
"The mountain will be crawling with skiers tomorrow and Sunday," he said. "You're late," he stated as an afterthought. "You're never late."
"I was . . . busy."
"Busy? My God, McKenna, you're blushing. Get lucky?" Then he lowered his voice. "I hope it wasn't a local, McKenna. Can you imagine the scandal?"
Chris rolled her eyes. A local?
"Want to tell me about it?"
"No."
"Come on," he coaxed. "I always tell you."
"About you and Ellen? Please, I don't need details."
"Jessie?" he guessed.
Chris tried to remain expressionless but she felt the blush creep up her face and she couldn't stop the smile that gave her away.
"I'll be damn. Well, come on, out with it. I want details," he teased.
"Roger, please, it just . . . happened."
"Sure it did. Does Annie know?"
"No! Of course not."
Roger grinned.
"Well, she called here this morning and invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner. When I mentioned that you weren't in yet, she said that you and Jessie had left together last night," he said, still grinning. "She also said that you two had stood outside talking for a very long time. She couldn't quite see through the window, though, to see what was going on."
Chris gave him a humorless smile.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" she asked.
"Very much." Then he laughed. "Damn, McKenna, you're too old to be making out in front of someone's house."
"We were not making out," she hissed. "We were . . . talking. And then we decided to talk some more at her place. And I fell asleep," she finished. Then she laughed, too. "Roger, please don't tease me about this. I really . . . like her."
Roger leaned back in his chair, a satisfied grin on his face as he watched her.
"Okay, McKenna, I won't tease you." Then he leaned forward again. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"
"No, I don't." At his hurt expression, she softened her words. "I'm not really sure what's going on, Roger. I mean, she's probably going back to New York within the month."
She felt the impact of her words and her chest tightened. Back to New York. Out of her life again. And maybe this time for good. She met his questioning eyes across from her, wondering how much he suspected. He was no fool and she was never very good at hiding her feelings. She was very close to falling in love with Jessie and she realized she was powerless to stop it.
She spent the rest of the morning putting out trail markers along the Lake Trail. She would mark Elk Meadow in the afternoon. They were the two most heavily used trails for cross-country skiing in their area, although the South Rim got a lot of traffic, too, especially early in the season when the snow level wasn't down to the lower elevations yet.
She worked quickly, trying to beat the storm, but it was slow going in the cold and wind. She had to take her gloves off each time she placed a marker and her hands were frozen by the time she finished the loop around the lake.
She was sitting in her Jeep, trying to get warm, when Roger radioed her.
"McKenna, what's your 10-20?"
"Lake Trail. Just finished," she replied.
"Come get me," he said. "I'll help you mark Elk Meadow. Just heard from Matt up on Ridge Trail. They've had two inches in the last hour, probably four since this morning."
"Ten-four."
Roger was waiting as she pulled up, the hood of his parka pulled up to cut the wind.
"Damn, McKenna, that wind is a bitch," he said as he crawled inside.
"No shit. My hands are still frozen."
"Well, it's a quick mover. Should be over by tonight. Nice and sunny tomorrow or so the experts say."
"How much snow?" she asked.
"Ten to twelve up on the mountain. There's another low-pressure system off of Alaska. We need to watch that one," he told her.
"You sound like a damn meteorologist, Roger."
"Yeah. And I can probably predict the weather just as good as they do."
With both of them, they made quick work of Elk Meadow, but it was snowing heavily by the time they finished. They sat in the Jeep, hands held to the heater as they tried to warm up.
"Want to stop by the Rock? They'll have a roaring fire going," Roger offered.
"Can't."
"Plans?"
Chris grinned and nodded. She had done a pretty good job of keeping thoughts of Jessie away but now she let them in and the memory of last night nearly overwhelmed her. She felt the heat down to the tips of her toes.
"Be careful, McKenna."
"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.
"This one could be a heart breaker."
She nodded. Yes, she knew that already.