They put on their snowshoes and strapped their skis to their packs. It took them nearly forty minutes to pull him to the trail. They had to stop to maneuver him around trees and rocks, then nearly missed the trail. It was snowing so hard, they could barely see in front of them and they very nearly crossed over the trail and into the forest on the other side. Their tracks were nearly completely covered and if they hadn't stopped to rest, they may very well have missed it.
"What are we going to do, McKenna?" Bobby asked urgently.
"Let's get down to Little Bear Creek. I have an idea," she said. She remembered the camping trip with Jessie when she'd told her about caves. She said they were upstream, about a mile. A mile, in this weather, would seem like forever, but right now, it was all she could think of. She didn't want to consider that Jessie was a child the last time she'd been here. What's a mile to a kid?
They made good time on the trail, pulling him easily in the snow. Before they headed downhill towards the stream, Chris checked on Kenny. He was still unconscious and his skin felt cold. Very cold. She took off her pack and pulled out her sleeping bag and laid that on top of him too. They had to get him warm or he would surely die.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
They headed down the hill, faces turned into the fierce wind, and it took all of their strength to hold the injured skier behind them. If they weren't careful, he would go sliding down the hill without them, right into the stream. They both walked sideways, letting their snowshoes dig into the side of the hill for support. The steep hill leveled out before the stream and they were able to relax the last fifty feet. At Little Bear Creek, which was now covered with snow, Chris turned upstream and she knew immediately that it wasn't going to be easy. Boulders littered the sides, some covered entirely with snow, and time and again they stepped, only to sink up to their waists as their feet missed a rock.
"Bobby, we've got to go a mile," she yelled against the wind. "Help me gage the distance, okay?"
"I'll try," he yelled back.
She cringed as a gust of wind hit, nearly knocking them over. They could only see a few feet in front of them as snow swirled in their faces. The blizzard had hit. She braced against the wind with every step and kept her eyes glued to the stream so that they wouldn't get lost. She thought briefly of all the stories she had heard about people lost in blizzards, wandering around in circles for hours before succumbing to the cold and surrendering to death. She wasn't about to let that happen to them. If nothing else, they would head into the trees and try to put up a tent and lay three-deep to try and stay warm. Stay warm? She couldn't remember the last time she'd been warm. She felt nearly frozen, head to toe.
She stared ahead, her eyes focused on the stream. She felt her nose running and ran a cold, gloved hand under it and realized that it was numb. The wind pounded around them, swirling the snow and she lowered her head and continued on, trying to ignore the coldness that surrounded them.
She finally stopped to rest and turned to Bobby.
"How far?" she yelled.
He pushed his parka up his arm and looked at his watch. "Not a mile yet, I don't think," he said. "Where the hell are we going, anyway?"
"I'm not sure," she said, knowing he'd not heard her. God, it felt like they'd traveled at least five miles. She turned back into the wind and walked on, spitting out an obscenity as she sunk again to her waist. She got back up and continued on, Bobby beside her as they pulled the unconscious Kenny Walker between them.
Fifteen minutes later, she again stopped. "Bobby, it's got to have been a mile."
"What are we looking for?"
"A cave," she yelled.
"Cave? What cave?"
"There's supposed to be a cave around here."
"Are you sure? I've never heard of a cave."
"No, I'm not sure," she said and looked around, trying desperately to see through the thickening snow. What had Jessie said? They would come to a flat area with outcroppings of granite. Right or left? She thought left, but she wasn't sure. She peered into the snow but it was no good. She couldn't see two feet in front of them. They were never going to find the caves like this.
"Bobby, I'm going to go out looking," she said.
"No way. You'll get lost. You can't see shit," he yelled.
"I'll tie a rope to you," she said and took off her pack. She pulled out the rest of the rope and tied the end around her waist. The other end she gave to Bobby. "It's the only way."
"Be careful," he called as she walked away.
She stumbled blindly into the snow, her snowshoes now caked with wet, packed snow. She knew instantly that they were in the right area. Flat, no rocks or trees that she could tell. She walked on, arms outstretched so that she wouldn't run into anything. Suddenly, there before here were piles of rocks. Granite. She was close. She walked farther on, only feet from the rocks. She looked up, but couldn't tell how high they were. For all she knew, these were simply boulders, only five or six feet high, not the massive outcroppings that would form caves. It didn't feel right. She stopped and turned back, walking the opposite way along the rocks, her hands out guiding her. The wind whipped against the rock wall, bouncing back into her face, stinging her eyes as she squinted against its force.
Just as she was about to go back, her rope having run out, she saw the black hole against all the white surrounding her. She opened her eyes wide, hoping she was really seeing it and not just imagining it. There, a large hole opened up in the rocks. Her rope was tight and she couldn't reach it to know for sure, but even if it wasn't Jessie's cave, it would give them shelter. She turned, her frozen hands gripping the rope, and made her way back to Bobby.
"I've found something," she yelled when Bobby was within sight. "It'll have to do."
She untied the rope around her waist and shoved it back in her pack, then slung it over her shoulders. "Come on."
She couldn't remember ever having been so cold. Her fingers were numb inside her gloves and her feet felt like stumps as they walked against the wind, their heads bent as they followed her tracks.
"There," she said and pointed to the black hold facing them.
"I see it," Bobby yelled and they quickened their pace, pulling the skier between them.
They stopped at the entryway, both fishing their flashlights from their packs. They flashed the light around the room, then walked in and burst out laughing in relief. There, in the center of the small room, was a fire ring and against one wall was a pile of old, dried wood.
"Jesus, I can't believe it," Bobby said and his voice echoed against the walls.
"Neither can I. Come on, let's get a fire going."
They tossed their packs on the floor and quickly broke up the dried wood. Chris took some toilet paper from her pack and made small balls and laid it in the center of the ring. Bobby piled on small sticks and some dried bark and she set a match to it and soon the flame licked hungrily at the dry wood. Bobby laid on more, gradually building a warm campfire.
Chris took her sleeping bag and the blanket off of Kenny and pulled him closer to the fire. She nearly screamed when he spoke to her.
"Where am I?" he whispered.
"Jesus Christ!"
She found her flashlight and shone it in his face. He closed his eyes against the bright light and she switched it off.
"We're Search and Rescue," she explained.
"Where's Michael?"
"He's fine. But right now, we've got to get you warm." She turned to Bobby. "Help me get him near the fire."
They pulled him as near as they dared, then she and Bobby stripped off their gloves and held their hands over the flames, ignoring the stinging as they warmed.
"I've never been this cold before, McKenna."
"I'm pretty much a popsicle myself." She looked to their injured skier. "Hey, what's your name?"
"Kenny. Kenny Walker," he said.
"What day is it?"
"It's Saturday . . . no, Sunday."
"What month?"
"I'm sure there's a reason for this?" he asked.
"What month?" she asked again.
"November and don't ask me the date. I always forget the damn date over the weekend," he said and offered her a smile.
"Good. Well, I pronounce you free of a concussion," she said, then turned to look at his face. He closed his eyes against the flashlight. "But you're probably going to need some stitches here." She touched the tender area around the gash and he winced.
"I must have fallen," he said. "I don't really remember. I got lost coming back. I was supposed to meet Michael back where the trail split."
"Don't worry about it now. We're going to be okay."
"I thought I was going to die," he said.
"You're damn lucky you didn't. It was just pure luck we spotted your tracks off the trail before we turned back," Bobby told him.
"He's right. I've seen hypothermia kill in a lot less time than what you were laying there," Chris told him. She got out her first aid kit and began cleaning his wound. "Let me put a butterfly on this, then we need to get something warm in you." She felt his cheeks with both hands. "You're still too cold."
"Yeah. I'm starting to shiver," he said.
"That's a good sign. Your body's working again, trying to warm you." She turned to Bobby. "Put some water on to heat. I've got some tea bags in there somewhere."
She cleaned the gash on his head and put two butterfly bandages on to close it as best she could. Bobby filled one of their pots with water and set it on the small gas burner that he always packed and Chris filled another pot and set it near the fire. They would have tea first, then a hot meal. It was only then, as they busied themselves, that she thought to radio in.
"I better check in with Roger. He's probably out of his mind."
She opened her parka and reached for the radio, only to find the holster empty.
"Shit. Bobby, tell me you've got the radio," she said.
"No," he said, shaking his head.
"Shit," she said again. She let the beam of the flashlight zigzag across the floor, hoping it had fallen out in the cave, but she knew it had not. "I must have lost it along the creek. Lord knows I fell down enough."
She silently cursed herself. The last time she had talked to Roger, they were in a hurry to get going and she had failed to secure it in the holster. She had simply shoved it in without thinking. Well, it wouldn't do any good to worry about it now. There was nothing they could do. Hopefully, Roger wouldn't think the worst.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Jessie knew she was insane to be out in this weather, but she didn't want to spend the night alone. She crept through the deserted town, trying desperately to see through the snow. She had driven in enough snowstorms to know to look through the snow to the road or you would become hypnotized by the flakes as they surround your car, but she had never driven in a blizzard before.
She passed the lodge at the edge of town, the parking lot full. Most of the guests were staying over another night as the roads heading back to the city were already closed. She slowed to a crawl as she approached the forest road that would take her to Annie's. Her four-wheel drive held as she made the corner, but the road was completely covered in snow and she tried to stay in the middle for fear of skidding off the side and getting stuck. She nearly took Annie's mailbox out as she turned into the driveway, her rear fender missing it by inches and she pumped the brakes, coming to a standstill next to the house. She released her hold on the steering wheel, her knuckles white, and she let out her breath. She grabbed the overnight bag from the backseat, slammed the door and ran up the steps. Annie had the door open before she could knock and she hurried past her into the warm house.
"Jessie, thank God," Annie said. "You shouldn't have been driving in that. The radio says the roads are a mess."
"Well, they're not lying," she said as she took off her parka.
Annie took it from her and hung it on the coat rack by the door. "Sit by the fire. I'll bring you a glass of wine."
Jessie nodded and stood with her back to the fire, her hands held out behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut. She was so worried about Chris. Was she still battling the blizzard on the trails or had she found shelter? She didn't want to think about the possibility of no shelter. It would be below zero by morning, not to mention the wind-chill.
"I'm glad you're here, Jessie, but I was worried about you driving in this. Why didn't you just go over to Chris'? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded you staying with her."
"Chris is out on the mountain, Annie," Jessie said.
"What? In this? Oh, no," she said. "Did someone get hurt?"
"Two skiers got separated at the Nevada Trail. One of them made it back. Chris and Bobby went out to look for the other one," she stated, her voice flat.
"Surely, the storm . . . they knew it would hit," Annie said. "They can't possibly try to ski in this."
Jessie heard the worry in her voice but she had no words of comfort.
"Roger lost radio contact. It was too much static. He said he would call as soon as he knew something," she said quietly, feeling her voice catch.
"Oh, no." Annie sunk down on the sofa. "Jessie, we mustn't think the worst. Chris is trained, she knows the mountain. She'll know what to do," Annie said firmly, although she was very worried about her friend.
Jessie met her eyes. "Do you think so?"
"Yes." She offered a small smile. "In case you haven't noticed, Chris can be very stubborn. She won't let this storm get the best of her."
"I hope you're right, Annie." She looked at her watch. An hour and a half since she'd left Roger. "I'm going to call in, though. Just in case he has some news."
Jessie walked to the phone and Annie watched her, surprised at her obvious worry for Chris, a woman she had only known a short time.
"It's Jessie. Anything new?" she asked.
Annie could tell by the drop of Jessie's shoulders that there was no news.
"What do you mean?" A pause. "There's static on the line, Roger. Let me give you my cell number. You promise you'll call the second you know something?"
Annie listened as Jessie rattled off her number, then waited as Roger spoke.
"I know, Roger, but I'm nearly out of my mind here. I don't know what she's told you . . . good, then you understand my feelings."
Annie watched Jessie hang up the phone, then down her glass of wine in one swallow.
"What is it?" she asked.
"There's no radio feedback at all. She's not even trying to acknowledge their transmission," she said quietly. She was on the verge of tears and she walked rapidly into the kitchen and refilled her wineglass. Oh, her sweet Chris, please let her be okay.
"Jessie, that doesn't mean anything's happened to them," Annie said from behind her. "The radio could have frozen up, the storm could block the transmission, anything."
"I know," she said softly. God, she didn't want to cry in from of Annie. How would she explain tears to Annie?
"I didn't realize Chris meant so much to you," she said.
Jessie turned around and met her questioning eyes. "We've become close," she said simply. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and she finally gave in to them. "I've just found her. I can't possibly lose her now," she cried.
Annie wrapped her arms around the crying Jessie, soothing her, not having any idea of what Jessie was talking about.
"Shhh, it'll be okay. Come, let's sit by the fire. Then you can tell me what's got you so upset."
Jessie followed numbly behind Annie and sat at the edge of the sofa. She stared into the fire, wiping the remaining tears away. Oh, she longed for Chris to be here, to comfort her.
"Jessie?"
She turned her eyes to Annie, wondering what her reaction would be? Would she be upset? Startled? Disappointed?
"Chris is very important to me, Annie," she said quietly. "We're . . .." What? Lovers? Of course. But they were more than just that.
"You've become good friends, Jessie. I had hoped you would," Annie said.
"We're more than friends, Annie. Chris and I . . . are lovers," she confessed. At Annie's shocked expression, she continued quickly. "I know you don't understand, and this is probably a complete shock to you, but Chris and I . . . well, we have this connection between us. It was there from the beginning. And I've never needed anyone like I need her. I've never had anyone in my life, Annie, but I need Chris in my life." She felt tears form again and pushed them away. "And I can't lose her now."
Annie nodded, for once at a complete loss for words. To say that Jessie's words had shocked her would be an understatement. She knew there was a familiarity between them, but still, she didn't think there had been enough time for them to explore this type of a relationship.
"Please say something."
"I know that Chris is a lesbian. She told me months ago. It just never occurred to me that you were, I guess. Or is this just because of Chris?" she asked hesitantly.
Jessie shook her head. "It's not just Chris, Annie. I've never had a lover before, I've just had sex partners. But always women."
Annie took a deep breath. "Because of Jack?"
Jessie shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I just have no attraction to men. But Chris broke down all my barriers, made me feel something, made me want something. She's given me hope that I might have love in my life."
"You're in love with her?" Annie asked quietly, not really understanding.
"I don't know what it feels like to be in love, Annie. I only know I hurt inside thinking she might not come back to me," she whispered.
Annie reached over and took her daughter's hand and held it gently.
"I don't know why I'm surprised. Chris has a way about her, she's such a charmer. And I've not been completely blind to the looks that pass between you two sometimes." She squeezed Jessie's hand. "I'm not too old to appreciate a good romance. So tell me, it was the other night when you had dinner here?"
Jessie blushed and Annie laughed.
"Roger couldn't find Chris the next morning. That's because she was with you?"
"Yes."
Annie smiled at Jessie's obvious embarrassment. She couldn't wait to get Chris alone. Oh, the teasing would be merciless.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
They sipped hot tea while they waited for the water to boil for their dinners. Kenny was sitting with them by the fire, his eyes staring at the snow swirling around the opening to the cave. He knew he was lucky to be alive.
"Why isn't there more smoke in here?" he asked.
"It's not a real cave. It was formed by fallen rock, an outcropping. It's just rising up and slipping through the cracks," Chris said.
"It feels warm in here."
"The rocks absorb heat." She reached for her pack and read the temperature from the thermometer tied on the back. "A balmy thirty-three degrees, if you can believe that. It's probably in the single digits outside."
They were quiet as they watched the snow and listened to the wind howl. Soon, it would be too dark to see outside, but they were warm and they had food and the fire kept them company.
"I think the water's ready," Bobby said. He took the pot from the small stove and set it on the ground. Chris held the flashlight for him and he opened two of the freeze-dried packages and dumped them in the water. Chris put another pot on to boil and Bobby covered his and set it aside. He glanced at his watch. Eight minutes to supper!
"This is ours," he told Kenny. "She's got some meatless pasta concoction."
It was completely dark outside by the time they finished eating, although it was barely after five. The dark clouds surrounded the mountain and the wind and snow continued pelting the rocks, but they stayed warm. Bobby gave up his sleeping bag to Kenny, who was already asleep. He would make do with his parka and the wool blanket.
"Do you think he'll be okay?" Bobby asked.
"Yeah. Take him a few days to get his strength back. I'm surprised he was able to set up as long as he did."
"Well, I know it's early, but I'm damn near exhausted," he said and he settled under his parka.
"I know. I feel like I could sleep twelve hours." She stood up and slipped her coat back on. "I've got to pee," she said.
"Don't go far," Bobby warned.
"Don't worry. I'll only go far enough to hang my butt out," she said and laughed.
Later, as the others lay sleeping, Chris added another small log to the fire and sat staring out into the night. The wind had subsided a little, but snow was still falling. She figured everyone was plenty worried about them. Especially Jessie. She cursed herself for not calling her before they left, but there had been no time. And for her to lose the radio. That was a stupid thing to do.
She finally crawled into her sleeping bag, letting thoughts of Jessie warm her. Was she with Annie tonight? Or had she stayed at her cabin, waiting? Frozen pizza. Chris smiled. She'd give anything to be sitting in front of the fire eating frozen pizza right now. And then, later, snuggled under the covers. She closed her eyes and listened to the fire crackle, remembering Jessie's hands on her, eager hands that had nearly ripped the shirt from her body in their haste to touch. Soft hands that cradled her breasts, guiding them to a waiting mouth. Warmth settled over Chris as she thought of that mouth and all it would do to her.
She rolled over, trying to quell the ache inside her. What if she was never to see Jessie again? Never feel her touch? How close had that been to reality today? They could have very well frozen to death out there. She didn't want to think about how close they had been. If not for this cave . . ..
Sleep finally claimed her and she slept soundly until dawn, when the morning chill invaded the small cave. She opened her eyes and Bobby was already trying to get the fire going again.
"Morning, McKenna," he said, his frosty breath swirling around him.
She looked at Kenny, who was still asleep, then sat up and grabbed the thermometer. Ten. When the fire died, it hadn't taken long for the cold to creep inside.
"You must have been cold without a sleeping bag," she told him.
"I slept like a log until about an hour ago. I was shivering and it woke me."
He had a small fire going in no time, adding what was left of the bark and small sticks. Then, he took out his small stove and put on water to boil for tea.
"I need to pee but it's too damn cold," he said. "You?"
"Yeah, but I can wait," she said. She laid back down and pulled her sleeping bag more firmly around her. "The snow has stopped."
"Yeah. It's clearing," he said. He stood up and held his hands over the fire for a minute. "Okay, I'm going out. Wish me luck."
She smiled and nodded, finally making herself get out of the warm sleeping bag. She went to the fire and squatted beside it, warming her hands. Kenny stirred in his bag and sat up.
"I thought I was dreaming, but I'm really here," he said, his voice hoarse from sleep.
"Oh, yeah, you're really here and we've got at least eight miles to go to get out of here. Hopefully they'll send someone to look for us," she said, looking towards the entrance. "And hopefully they'll be on snowmobiles but don't you dare tell Bobby I said that. I normally hate snowmobiles."
An hour later, after hot tea and breakfast, they packed up. They gave Kenny a pair of snowshoes and Chris and Bobby would take turns on skis, breaking a trail. Bobby estimated that at least three feet of snow had fallen and it would be slow going. Chris again hoped someone would be coming. She didn't think Kenny had the strength to make it eight miles.
"Ready?" she asked and they left the cave behind and ventured out into the cold.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Jessie woke with a start, dismayed that the sun was already up. She hadn't planned on sleeping so long. She sat up quickly, then held her head. Too much wine last night. She pulled on sweatpants and hurried downstairs, smelling the sweet aroma of Irish Crème coffee.
Annie stood at the counter, cup in hand, when Jessie walked in. She could tell by the look in Annie's eyes that she'd heard something.
"What is it?"
"I used your little phone there to call Roger. Phone lines are down. They've still not made any radio contact with them," Annie said. "He's sent Matt and Greg out on snowmobiles, although he's not sure how far they can make it. There's a lot of snow, Jessie."
Jessie looked out the window and for a moment, she forgot her worries over Chris. The scene outside was Christmas perfect. Pristine, still, the snow sparkling in the sunlight and all the trees hanging low, barely a green bough to be found. Then she looked again, closer. The picnic table under the large cedar was nowhere to be found and Annie's bird feeder now stood barely two feet from the snow.
She turned back to Annie. "How much?"
"It's hard to say, what with the wind making drifts. Roger said there's a ten-foot drift in front of the Ranger Station. He thinks at least four feet in the mountains, maybe more."
"Jesus," Jessie murmured. "Well, I've got to do something. I can't just sit here without knowing."
"There's nothing you can do, child," Annie said firmly. "They'll be all day just trying to clear the roads. Now, have some coffee and I'll make you some breakfast." Jessie looked at her with dismay and Annie added, "It'll keep us busy, if nothing else."
Jessie sat down at the table and took the coffee from Annie. She tried not to think that she might not ever see Chris again. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep her tears away.
Annie saw her shoulders shaking and dried her hands and went to her. She stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, trying to find the words to comfort her.
"Jessie, do you believe Chris loves you?" she asked softly.
Jessie opened her eyes, turning the question over in her mind. Did Chris love her? She'd never said. She said she cared for her but was that the same thing? Then she thought of the way Chris looked at her, the way she touched her, the gentle way she made love to her.
"Yes, I think maybe she does love me," she whispered.
"I think she does, too. And if she loves you, she would do anything she could to come back to you. You must believe that. I know Chris is okay. I feel it in my heart," Annie said. And she did.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
They heard the roar of snowmobiles in the distance and they stopped, looking at each other and smiling.
"Never thought I'd love the sound of those damn things," Chris told Bobby.
He laughed. "And I never thought I'd hear you say it."
They had been on the trail three hours, but had only made it a couple of miles, at best. They had missed the Nevada Trail and had continued following the stream, or what they thought was the stream, for nearly a half-hour before turning back. The view of Sierra Peak was too visible for them to be on the right trail. From Nevada Trail, only the top of the peak would show. Chris dug her compass out from her pack and tried to get their bearings. They backtracked and she and Bobby went in opposite directions, looking for markers on the trees. They finally found one and climbed the long hill to the junction of the South Rim Trail, only to find that they didn't know where the junction was. They could find no more markers. All the trees were heavy with snow, their branches hanging low to the ground. Nothing looked familiar to them, so they simply walked up to the trees, sinking well past their waists. They used their ski poles to knock snow off until they found a marker. Once they were in the right direction, they took out the compass and map, trying to gage where the trail was. Every several hundred feet, Bobby would go to the trees again to look for markers, just to make sure they were on the right track.
They continued on, listening for the approach of the snowmobiles. It was another hour before they spotted them and they hugged each other and cheered as Greg and Matt stopped just feet in front of them.
"Well, I'll be," Matt said. "Look at you! You're not frozen at all," he said and laughed. "Glad you're okay," he said seriously.
"Are we glad to see you," Chris said. "Snowmobiles and all."
"Did I hear you right, McKenna?" Greg asked, a huge grin on his face. "Thought you hated these damn things?"
"Yeah. And I can't wait to get on that damn thing."
Bobby took Kenny on one snowmobile and Chris, after kissing both Greg and Matt full on the mouth, took the other, leaving them behind to ski down. They radioed Roger with the good news, then followed the tracks of the snowmobiles down the mountain.
Considering how long it had taken them on the skis, it seemed that in no time at all they were at the trailhead. They followed the road into town, most of the buildings unrecognizable under the heavy blanket of snow.
"Look at that drift, McKenna," Bobby said, pointing to the pile of snow that covered the windows of the Ranger Station.
Within minutes, they were standing in the warmth of the Ranger Station, telling their story.
"I've never heard of a cave being out there, McKenna," Roger said.
"Well, Jack knew about them," she said. "He took Jessie there when she was young."
"You're damn lucky, kid," he said, then hugged her for the third time. "How could you have lost the radio?"
"Oh, I don't know. There was a blizzard blowing, I was exhausted, my hands were frozen. Hell, how do you think?" she asked and laughed with him. It was easy to laugh now. They were safe.
He took her aside and put his arm around her. "I was worried sick, McKenna," he said seriously. "And you need to call Jessie. She's at Annie's. I called them and told them we'd found you, but she was pretty shook up about it."
Chris nodded.
"Oh, and you'll have to use your cell. The phone lines are down."
"My phone is buried in my Jeep, Roger. At least, I think that lump out there is my Jeep."
"Mine's on my desk."
She closed the door behind her, relaxing for a minute before picking up the phone. She searched her memory for Jessie's number, then found it scribbled on a note on Roger's desk. The phone was answered on the first ring.
"Thank God, it's you. Are you okay? Do you still have all your fingers and toes?" Annie asked.
"All accounted for, although I'm still not completely thawed."
"A shot of brandy and a nice fire will do wonders. Now, let me get Jessie. She's been, well, she's been nearly out of her mind, thinking she'd lost you. Here."
Chris didn't have time for Annie's words to register. Another voice was calling to her.
"Chris . . . sweetheart," Jessie whispered. "You're okay, right?"
"I'm okay."
"You know, McKenna, you missed our dinner date. One frozen pizza down the drain," she said lightly.
"Funny you should say that. Last night, while I was trying to sleep, I was thinking that I'd give anything to be sitting by a fire with you, eating that damn frozen pizza."
"I was so afraid for you, Chris. Annie's had to put up with my fits of crying," she said. "I think she's ready for me to be gone."
"You were crying?" Chris asked. "Why were you crying?"
"I was afraid I'd never get to see you again. I was afraid you weren't going to come back to me and there were still so many things I wanted to tell you. And I was afraid that I wouldn't get the chance."
Chris smiled, wondering if Annie was standing there listening. This conversation wasn't exactly between friends.
"We found your cave, by the way. It's the only thing that saved us."
"Chris, I . . .." but she hesitated. The words she wanted to say weren't made for the telephone. Besides, she thought that Annie was enjoying the conversation far too much. "When can I see you?"
"I hope tonight, Jessie. I really want . . . need to be with you tonight," she said softly.
"I'll come to your cabin as soon as the roads are clear enough. And McKenna?"
"Yes?"
"There's really no need for you to dress," she whispered.
She sat there with a silly grin on her face when Roger stuck his head inside.
"Everything okay?"
"Everything's great, Roger."
He sat down in one of his visitor's chairs and studied her. She knew she must look a sight and she ran a hand through her disheveled hair.
"Jessie was over here yesterday. She saw your Jeep, thought you were here," he said. "She heard the last few radio transmissions and it shook her up pretty bad when we thought we'd lost you." He rubbed the heavy stubble on his chin, evidence that he had not gone home last night.
"It was stupid of me not to secure the radio, Roger, but it was pure hell out there," she said truthfully. "I don't mind saying that I was plenty scared," she admitted.
"I don't doubt it. We were all scared for you. You did a hell of a job, saving that man's life. He's damn lucky it was you out there and not Hatcher or someone else. They would have been more concerned about their own hide and the hell with a lost skier."
"Oh, I don't know. Bobby never once suggested that we give up. In fact, I asked him several times if he wanted to head back and he didn't."
"That's because you've taken Bobby under your wing and he idolizes you," he said.
"He does not, he just cares about things, you know. He's perfect for S.A.R." She leaned back in her chair and relaxed. "Roger, I want to put him on salary. Part-time, if nothing else. He does far too much to be a volunteer," she said.
"I know. I've already put in a request. With Hatcher out of here in a few months, we'll have room in the budget."
He stood up and smiled at her, then raised an eyebrow.
"I'm assuming you have plans tonight?"
"My plans include a hot fire, something alcoholic to drink, I'm thinking whiskey. And of course, a very warm, very soft female body to kiss away my aches and pains."
Roger blushed scarlet and hurried to the door.
"Jesus, McKenna, I don't need details!"
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Jessie drove carefully down the partially cleared road. It seemed like forever before the snowplows made it up Annie's way. She really had no idea how deep the snow was until she was out in it. Snow was piled high on each side of the road and there were no visible fences that she could see. She made her way past Mary Ruth's cabin and wondered how she had faired. Her car was still buried. On the drive to Chris' cabin, it was just one long snow tunnel and she parked behind Chris' Jeep, which was still heavy with snow.
It was nearly dark when she got there and a few stars were already out, blinking in the clear, cold sky. She pulled her parka more firmly around her and hurried to the door, pausing only a moment before knocking. Chris called to her and she walked into the warm room, the fireplace glowing hotly. Chris lay on the sofa, a pillow tucked under her head and Dillon curled on her stomach. Their eyes met and held, a slow smile forming on Chris' face.
"Hey."
Jessie nodded, feeling her throat threatening to close. She was nervous. As nervous as she'd ever been in her life. What if she was wrong about Chris? What if Chris laughed it off, blaming it on the snowstorm?
"Chris . . . I . . . there's something I want to tell you. Need to tell you, " she started. She stood firmly rooted by the door, her legs refusing to carry her closer to Chris. "You may not want to hear it."
Chris sat up but still clutched Dillon in her lap. She had no idea what was coming but Jessie looked ready to bolt through the door.
"Okay. What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
"It's me . . . it's us," she said. At Chris' frightened look, she hurried on "I don't know what you want, but . . . I . . . oh, hell, McKenna, I wanted to warn you that . . . I think I'm in love with you. At least, I think that's what this is. And I wanted to give you a chance to get out or tell me I'm out of my mind before I say something really stupid or . . .."
"I love you, too," Chris said softly, interrupting her somewhat chaotic speech.
"What?"
"Come here."
"What did you say?" Jessie whispered.
A gentle smile broke across Chris' face and she stood, slowly walking the short distance to the door.
"You want me to say it again?"
Jessie nodded mutely.
"I'm in love with you. You consume my thoughts, day and night. And when I look into your eyes, I see my life there. I see everything that matters to me and it has nothing to do with this place or this job, or Annie or the damn snowstorm. It's just you and me and the love I feel inside for you."
Jessie knew she was crying. She could feel the tears on her face but she couldn't look away from the clear, blue eyes so close to her own. Blue eyes that shown with love . . . for her.
"That was the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me," she whispered. She was able to move then. Move into the arms that opened for her. She buried her head against Chris' neck and let her tears fall. Never in her life did she think she deserved this. Never once did she think she would ever find this.
Chris felt her soul open up and take Jessie inside. It filled her with such joy that she ached from it. She gently lifted Jessie's head and kissed the tears away, finally finding her lips and placing soft kisses there.
"Let me make love to you," she whispered. "Let me show you how much I love you."
The bedroom was dark and Chris paused to draw the covers back before undressing the silent Jessie who stood numbly before her. She quickly shed her own clothes and lay back, pulling Jessie with her. As soon as she felt Jessie's weight settle on top of her, she was lost. The gentle, slow lovemaking she'd planned vanished as Jessie's hungry mouth found hers. Tongues battled and Chris rolled them over, penning Jessie to the bed. But she wanted to go slow. They had all the time in the world. She straddled Jessie's hips, pressing intimately against her as her mouth found Jessie's breast. Her lips closed over an erect nipple and she moaned with pleasure, loving the way Jessie's hands held her firmly to her breast. She suckled her breast, teasing the tip with her tongue, feeling it swell in her mouth.
Jessie closed her eyes, giving in to the gentle touch of her lover. She heard the contented sigh from Chris, felt her move ever so slowly to her other breast. She opened her eyes, meeting blue ones that closed as her mouth settled over her. Again Jessie thought, what did she do to deserve this?
She felt Chris' lips move across her stomach, felt the cool air on her still-wet nipples. Her hips arched and she pressed up, feeling Chris' wetness against her thigh. Her hand moved between them, finding the wetness with her fingers. Chris sat up, then settled back down, guiding Jessie's fingers inside her. Jessie heard Chris' breath hiss as her fingers were engulfed in wetness.
"Oh, yes . . . that feels so good," Chris murmured. Her hips rose again and came back down on Jessie's hand, impaling herself. She nudged Jessie's thighs apart, her own fingers sliding through hot silk, slipping inside Jessie in one quick thrust.
Jessie drew a sharp breath and pressed her hips up, drawing Chris inside her. Their rhythm became one as hands and hips danced together, moving in and out of each other in perfect harmony. She opened her eyes to find Chris watching her. Chris' own eyes were glazed over, her mouth slightly opened as she struggled to draw breath.
Jessie was mesmerized. With her free hand, she found Chris' breast and squeezed the nipple between her fingers. She watched Chris' eyes close, watched her head tip back. The pressure of her hips increased and Jessie struggled to maintain the rhythm. Her fingers met each thrust of Chris' hips and her own legs opened wide, allowing Chris deep within her. She felt the first tremors of Chris' body, felt muscles squeeze her fingers tight and she finally gave in to her own release. She let it come, let it nearly overwhelm her with its force.
She couldn't have held back the scream if she'd tried. It mingled in the air with Chris' as her hips went down on Jessie for one last stroke. She closed her legs tight, holding Chris' fingers inside her as Chris finally stilled, her hips settling back down on Jessie's hand. Her wetness ran down Jessie's arm and Jessie groaned. She licked her lips, wishing her mouth were there instead.
They stayed like that for a moment, Chris still sitting upright, Jessie laying back, their eyes locked together.
"I love you," Chris whispered.
"I love you."
She finally moved, letting Jessie's fingers slip away from her. She withdrew her own, then brought them to her mouth, licking Jessie's wetness from her fingers.
Jessie thought it was the most intimate thing she'd ever seen. She reached up and drew Chris' mouth to her own, tasting herself on Chris' lips.
Chris lay down beside Jessie and pulled the covers over them. She gathered Jessie in her arms and gently kissed her damp forehead.
"Are you okay?"
Jessie nodded.
"That was . . . beautiful."
"Yes. It was perfect."
Chris leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Jessie's lips.
"I told Annie about us," Jessie said suddenly.
"What? You did? Was she okay?"
"Yes. I think she was . . . surprised. Although I think she probably suspected there was more to our relationship than we let on."
"Jessie, please tell me you're not leaving. You're not going back to New York."
"No. I want to stay here with you. I want to try to have a life together, if that's what you want. That is what you want, isn't it?"
"Yes. I want you here with me always."
EPILOGUE
Annie paused to catch her breath, leaning against a large cedar. It had been over seventeen years now since she'd hiked up Ridge Trail and it was steeper than she remembered. She looked out over the canyon, thinking how much had changed in the last year.
Jessie had built a new home in the early summer, not far from Annie's. She had given Jessie half of the acres that her own house sat on and Jessie and Chris had hiked all over, looking for the perfect spot to live. They found it on the down slope of the mountains, butted up against Sierra Peak. A green, lush valley spread out in front of the cabin and they watched herds of elk and deer in the evenings. Annie joined them often for dinner, traveling down the bumpy dirt road in the old Jeep that Chris had found for her.
She took a swallow of water from her canteen and moved on, leaving the shade of the cedar and continuing up the trail. She had not told the girls that she was coming up here and she had not signed in at the trailhead. Should Chris happen along and find her name there, she would be up the trail in an instant to check on her. She glanced at her watch and frowned. It was taking her longer than she had planned and she was supposed to be at Jessie's at five to help with dinner. They were having a cookout and Roger and Ellen were joining them, along with Matt and that nice girl from the café. Oh, and Bobby. He was quickly becoming her favorite, with his boyish good looks. They were all good friends and none of them seemed the least bit shocked when Jessie and Chris moved in together. Well, times had certainly changed.
Annie was lost in her thoughts when she stopped suddenly. She had thought that she might not remember, but here it was, the ledge with the gap in it. She jumped it easily and took a deep breath, seeing the sheer cliff below her, the deep drop into the canyon below. She felt her life had come full circle. That was why she had come up here. Or so she told herself. Maybe she had come up here for the same reason Jessie had last August. To talk to Jack. To shake his ghost.
Why she had ever come up here with him at all, she'll never know. Perhaps she thought him to be sincere, even though all her instincts told her he wasn't. After Jessie had gone off to school, he had come to her. He said they needed to talk, that she should accompany him on the trails. She had been dumbfounded. Never before had she been allowed on the trails with him. But she had agreed. They needed to talk about their marriage and about Jessie. They didn't speak on the hike up and she had to race to keep up with his long, purposeful strides. At this very ridge, he had jumped the gap and stood near the edge, looking over.
"Come take a look," he had said.
And she had, jumping the gap as easily as he had. She was wary of him though. Something wasn't right, she knew. The way he looked at her with those piercing black eyes. The way his lips were pressed together in grim determination.
He had turned to her, a sneer on his lips. "You thought I wouldn't find out about your old man in San Francisco, didn't you? How could you? How could you betray me and Jessie that way?"
She remembered standing tall, unafraid. For too long, she had cowered to him. "The same way you've betrayed me for twenty years," she told him.
"Men are different," he spat at her. "I'm different. You're nothing but a slut. You're not fit to live in the same house with us."
She instinctively took a step back. His eyes were so very black. He looked crazed and she was suddenly so very afraid.
"You're not really fit to live at all, Annie. You know that, don't you?"
He had turned to her and she knew immediately what he planned. She backed up a step, her hands outstretched. She remembered his wicked smile when his long arm had reached out to her and his hand had captured her small wrist.
"Jack, no," she had pleaded with him. "You don't know what you're doing."
"I know perfectly well what I'm doing. I'm getting you out of our lives for good. You don't deserve us. You've never been a wife to me, never a mother to my Jessie. I should have done this years ago."
He pulled her to him with such great force, her feet left the safety of the ledge and she was suspended in air, thinking briefly that it would all be over quickly and it wouldn't hurt too much. One push by him and she would be over the side and into the canyon.
Thinking back now, she knew it was his smile and laughter that had done it. He had already thought he'd won again and she was tired of losing to him. She curled her hands into claws and angrily struck his face, her nails cutting into his skin, drawing blood. He dropped her forcefully and she landed on her back, just feet from the edge of the cliff. He frantically wiped at the blood on his face and she quickly stood, and without thinking, kicked him in the groin, her hiking boot hitting him squarely between the legs. So hard, he fell to his knees, air whistling from between his teeth. He had looked at her then, eyes so angry she knew he meant to kill her with his bare hands. How he was able to stand, she never knew. But he did, very slowly.
"Bitch!" he screamed at her. "How dare you? You'll be sorry now, Annie."
She looked out over the canyon, seeing it all so clearly now. Seventeen years ago, it had all been a blur. How had she jumped out of the way? She never knew. But now she saw it all as if it were happening again.
His face was red with rage and their eyes met, locked together in fight. He had lunged at her, so quickly she didn't have time to think. She simply dropped to her stomach, intending to protect herself, but he sailed over her, stumbling at the edge of the cliff, one foot hanging over, suspended. He had screamed once, a high, girlish scream, and seemed to catch his balance. Annie had turned to look at him and he had reached out to her as he teetered on the edge.
"No! Please . . .."
She reached for him without thinking, but it was too late. Their eyes met for an instant. Shock and disbelief flashed across his face as he tumbled backwards over the cliff and into the canyon below.
How long she sat there, she didn't know. Still didn't. She had walked home. No one saw her. She was in shock, she knew that much. She had bathed and washed her clothes and simply waited for Roger to come tell her the bad news. And he had.
Sitting on the edge now, she breathed a sigh of relief. Over the years, she had often wondered if maybe it would have been better for her to have gone over the edge instead of Jack. Her life had been so empty for so long.
Then Roger had moved back and had drawn her out a little. Then, of course Chris. She was the one who made Annie feel alive again, made her look forward to things again. Finally, her sweet Jessie had come home. All those lonely years were worth it. Now, she had everything.
She stood up and looked out over the canyon and smiled.
"Goodbye, Jack," she said softly, her words carried away by the wind. She turned and headed back down the trail, a smile firmly on her face. She needed to hurry. The girls would be waiting.
The End