A bunch of locals are milling about the front door of a certain WP who's just got back from a roaring bout of tar whooping.

G: Jeez...l can't...quite....reach....this.......Xena?

X: Yeah, what's up? <closing door quickly behind her>

G: I'm trying to get this oil...off the top shelf...l just...can't...reach it.

X: Heh....just a second, my cutsie little bard...<slaps hand over mouth> Shit, I can't believe I said that...darned hormones.

G: Aw....l though it was cute, hon. You might have better luck helping me if you put that teddy bear down, doncha think?

X: Te....huh? That's it! Honest to Zeus...all this stuff is going....OUT!

G: We've been there, done that, sweetie. You just go out and find more of the stuff...you know you can't help yourself right now...It'll pass...

X: As soon as I have this kid...yeah, yeah. <sighs and pats Jr>

G: I think it's becoming, actually, seeing you like this.

X: What, as big as a barn?

G: Heheh...noooooo, silly. All maternal and gushy....and soft...

X: Soft. Vulnerable, you mean. Sheesh. I was in town roughing up some of the boys and I think.....I pulled a muscle...right here.

G: Right where, honey? You never said you were going to rough guys up in town. Look, we talked about this. It's my job when you're in this condition to do all the fun....um, dangerous stuff. And you promised no more flips and stuff. Right?

X: <mumbling>Oh, fer crying out loud. The day I can't go and be my usual tough as nails warrior...well, let's just say Hades had better be selling tickets to the Zeus Follies.

G: So, you didn't flip, right? And what're the Zeus...Follies?

X: Heh...<trying to side track the bard> He used to have mud wrestling...then it was Frisky Frolics with Fennel Oil...<blinks slowly>

G: <taps her foot dangerously> Yoo hoo....Xe...na!

X: Huh? Oh...oh yeah...where was I? <winces as she rubs her girth>

G: How do you know about fennel oil and why don't l get to come, too?

X: <hides snicker with hand>...Heheh...yeah, I can just see you now...you'd be flailing your sais around thinking it was all real....heheh...my serious widdle bardypoo.

G: <wiggles away from having her cheek pinched> Stop that! I'm not the innocent little girl you think I am, Xena-I'm-so-worldly. And you never answered my question...no flipping...right!?

X: heheheh...<turns her back and picks at her expanding leathers> yeah, I can see you now...show up there in that tight little outfit and they'd match you up with some blonde bimbo or something...heheh.

G: Hey! Was that a blonde joke? Besides, I think I'd have lots of people wanting to be my partner. There are lots of...guys out there, ya know.

X: Oh here we go again. Like that guy we met in Chin? Yeah, he was a hoot...all serious like until you offered to buy him a shirt. Didn't cotton to red, huh?

G: Hey, he was a nice guy!

X: Gab, they are ALL nice guys...well, some of em are nicer than others, that's for sure. You don't know whether to kiss em or kill em. I usually opt for the latter, myself. Less maintenance that way.

G: So....you gonna stand there rubbing your tummy or get the oil for me?

X:  Yeah, sure. Stand back and I'll reach it for ya.

Milling crowd is getting out of hand.

MC: XeeeeNa....XeeeeNa

G: Jeez, you didn't raise another army while I was cooking, didja? How come you get to have all the fun?

X: Hey, I didn't offer to make those little red filled things...you did. For which I'll be heartily grateful....when you finish makin em.

G: Well, that IS what the oil is for.

X: Ahhhh....what do you do with the left over stuff? <waggling eyebrows>

G: Huh?

X: Well, we could do our own oil wres....ouch...ouchouchouch!

G: Xena! Are you okay?

Milling Crowd is now banging on the door.

MC: You gonna come out or are we comin in!

G: Is there something you wanna tell me?

X: It's that muscle I pulled earlier...oooooowww.....<sits down heavily and groans loudly>

G: Were you....flipping?

X: <mumbles>

Door bursts open and some of the crowd push thru.

MC: We're here from the WCB.

G: Huh? WCB? Wassat?

MC: Warrior's Compensation Board

G: Xena?

X: Er....

G: What's this all about?

X: <wincing> I...uh....got a bit carried away.

MC: A bit carried away! You put Maniaclus's back out! And I'm not sure if Dorkus will ever be the same after that double flip on his....well, he's in a bad way, Warrior Princess!

G: You flipped!? You said...

X: Oh, so I flipped...what a pair of mother hens....what, you think it's easy getting the timing and such just right with this extra weight? it takes...owww.....skills, ya....oooooowwwwwww....know.

G: That's it...c'mere you...

MC: Hey....<rubbing his pointed little head> I'm injured here.

G: Oh, you're gonna be injured alright, if you don't get the physician. I think she's gonna have the....Xena....what are you doing?

X: <squatting> It's more comfortable in this position...it's just my lower back and groin muscles...musta strained em some...hey, sorry about the guys, ya know?

MC: Well.....ya gotta be more careful. That extra 100 lbs is hard to...

X: Extra 100 lbs!? Why, I oughta....<attempts to get up>

G: Well, ya did <pushes her back down> ...which is what got you into this....condition, in the first place.

X: Oh please, Gabrielle <groaning>...leave off on that subject, will ya? I toldja I don't know how it happened.

MC: See, it's like this....a guy likes a girl, see...and then she..

X: Shuddap ...

G: ...and get the doctor!

MC: Geez....Warrior Raging Hormone....and her Bratty Bard. Hey, looks like the kid might be by Caesarian, huh?...<ducking>

G: <squinting eyes at Xena

X: What?