your puppet
by jtd

I feel like a rubber puppet
with terribly twisted strings
trying to squeeze and fit in
stretching to reach up
balling up to not be noticed too much

this wasn't what I had in mind
just wanted to be me
the best I could be
delight you and make you laugh
hold you when you're sad or exhausted

not scare you
not trying to be braver than I am
I'm so tired of that
just wanted to keep walking
the way we started on

I want to be able to look in the mirror
and look me in the eyes
not hiding, not running
not pretend to be who I'm not
not going where I don't want to go

what changed, I ask myself
what made this awkward, uncomfortable
and oh so sad

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