DISCLAIMERS: This has the potential to be very sad. Beware of the usual suspects as well; intolerance, violence, sexual situations, poor grammar, foul language, and flawed characters.

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FEEDBACK: Please direct all feedback to p.phair@comcast.net. You can check out more of my writing at http://www.phair1.com

COWARD

by Phair

Part 6

Rory relished the wonderful, dreamless sleep. Her body was warm and comfortable and safe. Her mind was deliriously empty of memories or grief or agony. It would have been complete bliss if not for the incessant chatter going on near her ear.

"Quota Day! Up, up, up! Quota Day, Rory. You be up now," Rabbit was almost chanting.

A blast of cold air startled Rory out of her perfectly blissful sleep when the blankets were ripped back.

"What the…," Rory cracked open an eye to see the other woman dressing in the still chilled morning air that filled their berth. Small puffs of steam rose off Rabbit's heated skin in the dim light. "Hey, you'll catch a cold or frost bite. Get back under the blankets. I know it's not time to get up yet. It's too cold to be up." "Rory! Gotta be up now. Please. Quota Day! Hurry, hurry, hurry." Rabbit flung Rory's clothing onto the sleepy woman's face. "Please, Rabbit up. Rory gotta be up too. Rabbit gotta be first. Rory gotta be first too. If no, Rabbit no get dead things. Gotta be up, both up, to get the dead things."

Rory peered out from under her tossed clothing. She didn't understand what Rabbit was talking about but she could see, even in the half light of the berth, Rabbit's expression. Rabbit was smiling broadly. She was vibrating with the excitement of a child at Christmas. For whatever reason, Rabbit believed today was special in a very good way.

Who was Rory to disagree?

Rory raised her hands in surrender, "Okay, I'm right behind you. Go on ahead and I'll catch up."

"No," Rabbit shook her head vigorously. "Both, not one or none. Hurry, hurry, hurry, Rory. Gotta be there. Rabbit gotta be there. Rory gotta be there too."

Rory shrugged into her clothes in record time. Before she could even braid her hair, Rabbit pulled her out of the berth, passed several of their just waking fellow tent mates, and out of the tent. A steady frigid wind ripped at the pair and they stumbled back a step. Rory hugged herself against the cold and shivered with each gust of icy wind as she marshaled forward behind a very determined Rabbit.

"What's going on?" Rory asked between chattering teeth. "It's freezing. Morning is hours away. Rabbit, why in Hell are we out of the berth never mind out of our tent?"

"Hear the sound?" Rabbit asked.

Rory listened for a moment and heard a low, faint rumble. Each second longer brought the sound closer. Rory was finally able to see the dust trail from the approaching convey on the not so distant horizon.

"What is it?" Rory asked with mixed emotions. She found herself to be excessively fearful of the guards after Rabbit's whipping.

"That be the monthly supplies," Bearses answered from the tent door. "First one out of the tent gets the dead men's letters. Rabbit is first, yet again. Good work, Rabbit."

Bearses patted Rabbit's cheek as he walked by her. Her face went pink with the attention.

"So, they give us supplies and bring mail? We're allowed mail from home?" Rory asked with a faint bit of hope.

"Sure. We gets supplies and a day's rest. The courts say this not be a cruel fate as long as we get minimal stock, mail from home, from family, and a day's rest." Bearses paused to spit out his contempt, "Bastards! Tell me, Rory, do you think a coward like you is gonna get any mail from your family?"

Rory sneered at his taunt but her heart broke a little bit more with the truth that followed, "Ain't got no family left. What kind of supplies are we talking about?"

"Nothing useful," Bearses shrugged off the question. "Dusting powder, cold cream, salt, sunscreen. Damn guards grab the best of it before we see it; underwear, socks, blankets, potatoes. They take it for themselves like their lives aren't already bearable enough."

"So there's nothing worth hanging around for," Rory sighed in resignation. "You got any problem with me going back to get some rest?" Rory asked.

"Let Rabbit get her stuff. Don't want no one trying to take it from her because your ass is sleeping. After mail call, unless you want to fight over dusting powder and sunscreen then you can go back to your berth. Today we rest. No work today."

Rory nodded her acceptance of Bearses' plan as the supply convoy pulled up. With the engines' drone so close, the rest of the tent's occupants stumbled into the cold. Several big boxes were taken off the flat bed by Bearses and two of his strong allies; Web and Lorna. Getting to handle the supplies was a sign of power, Rory gathered from the way the other inmates stepped back from the trio.

"Hey Rabbit, the two dead guys be on top! How 'bout them apples?" Bearses winked as he handed the mailers to Rabbit.

"Three," Rabbit took the offered items but waited.

Bearses and Web chuckled with laughter but the rest of the group remained silent. "Right you are. Tell me girl, how did a moron like you learn to count?"

Rabbit didn't answer the question. She waited until the third box was offered and she grabbed it. With her packages wrapped solidly in her arms, Rabbit raced back into the tent as Bearses and the inmates howled with laughter.

Rory lingered until the laughter ebbed then she followed Rabbit's lead into the tent. Her heart ached for the young woman's humiliation. Not only did Bearses treat her as a simple minded piece of property but he teased her every chance he got. She was sure she'd find Rabbit hiding in the berth sobbing.

"Rory, we gots looksees. Todd's hot, sexy bitch looksees. Five and five and five more," Rabbit was giggling at the three rows of five pictures lined up in front of her.

Rory snorted a laugh at Rabbit's unexpectedly high spirits before climbing up on the berth to get a better view. The fifteen pictures were of a naked woman, with legs spread wide, obviously pleasuring herself. Rory felt her cheeks go hot pink with embarrassment. However the embarrassment came only after Rory noted Rabbit's correct assessment. Poor, dead Todd's bitch was very hot and very sexy.

"Rabbit, what are you doing? That's pornography. You shouldn't be filling your mind with garbage like that." Rory tried to explain in a calm but no nonsense manner.

Rabbit giggled even more, "Mens pay. Big pay too. Chocolate. Potatoes. Gum. Just for a peek. Socks. Underpants. Gloves, sometimes. To keep looksees. We livin' now, Rory."

"Running your own black market, are you? You're pretty clever, Rabbit." Rory was impressed, "I don't think I would've thought of doing that."

The smile left Rabbit's face. "Rabbit don't think. No brains," she pointed to her head. "Momma told Rabbit. Hungry; looksees peeks for food. Clothes, boots; trade looksees. Cold; suck cock, suck pussy. Hungry, clothes, cold; Rabbit be whippin' bitch."

Rory could feel her chest tighten more and more with each word of Rabbit's explanation. She wanted to weep. She wanted to tell the simple woman that life didn't have to be so stark. She wanted Rabbit to understand survival didn't mean subjugating herself on a daily basis. Rory wanted Rabbit to know love and warmth were two different things.

But, Rory wasn't ready to let her guard down, "Anything else in Todd's mailer?"

"Gum. Chocolate." Rabbit set Todd's mailer aside and tore open the next one, "Socks. Lots. So good. Ooooh, bandages. So, so good."

Before Rabbit could announce the next item Bearses voice echoed in the empty tent, "Coward, where you at?" His head and shoulders leaned into the berth, "Ah yes, you be making time with the richest woman in the tent at the moment, I see. You got a mailer from home." Rory took the item from him and he dropped back to the floor, "I hope it's something worth trading for 'cause we're out of supplies."

"This can't be right," Rory muttered almost to herself. "I've got no family left who would send me anything."

"Open. Open. Open." Rabbit's eyes sparkled as she encouraged Rory.

Rory obeyed. She tore along the official government seal and realized that not only was it still intact but it was military. Her heart raced with thoughts of her father. Could he have found some small bit of pity in his heart for her to send a kind word?

"Nope," Rory sighed when the mailer was opened and Fred's hand written greeting was revealed.

"Read?" Rabbit leaned closer sneaking a peek at the letter.

"What?"

"Read? Share home with Rabbit?"

Rory nodded. "Sure, what the Hell. Probably just war talk anyway. Let's see, it says, Hello Rory How Are You Your Squad Standing With You Two More Squads Stepping Up McShane's Squad's Evenly Divided I Petitioned Your State Senator For Paternal Privilege," Rory's monotone shifted as the meaning of the words filtered into her consciousness, "after your father's public renouncing of your birth right," Her breath caught momentarily in her throat. "My petition was granted. I'm now acting on your behalf as a family member. I requested the Soldier's Relief Lawyer to accept your appeal and the motion was granted."

Rabbit moved closer and wiped a stray tear from Rory's eye, "No understand. What you mean?" "Somebody back on Earth is trying to get me out of here," Rory whispered. "Somebody remembers me."

"Good. No cry. Good thing. Anymore?"

Rory wiped her face, frustrated with her own emotions, "Some legal stuff. Two potatoes. Bottle of aspirin. Pictures."

Rory blinked. Her heart beat picked up to triple time. The faces looking back at her from the bottom of the box were Stephen and Andy. It was from their last summer together before she left for her two week training. Before her leave back home. Before the explosion.

"Baby cute. Who he?" Rabbit asked.

"My son. He was my son." Rory's head was throbbing.

"He 'members you?"

"No, my son is gone." Rory closed her eyes as she spoke. With an unwelcome awareness, she realized she had stopped dreaming of him over the last few weeks.

"He be back. Like Momma. He be back."

Rory's heartbreak soured quickly to fury.

"You stupid little cunt!" Rory grabbed Rabbit by the shirt and pulled her within a breath of her face, "My baby is dead. He was blown to pieces while I watched. He's never coming back!"

"Sorry. Sorry, baby deading," Rabbit's voice was hoarse with fear and tears streamed down her face. "Sorry Rabbit stupid cunt. Sorry baby no be back like Momma."

Rory grabbed Rabbit around the throat and started to choke her. She forced Rabbit on her back and straddled the gasping woman.

"Stop talking! Shut up, bitch! Your mother isn't coming back. The whore left you. Left you to suffer with people like me."

Rory's hands went weak with her words. She released her grip and quickly retreated to the edge of the berth. Shaking hard, she dragged in big breaths of air. Her own tears started to make their way down her cheeks.

"Damn you," she muttered to a cringing Rabbit. "Damn you for being so stupid. Damn you for believing in a mother's love."

"No love," Rabbit coughed. "Momma no love. Hit. Kick. Sell. No love."

Rory's anger start to boil again, "Then why do you think she'll be back for you, Stupid."

"Repeat 'fender."

Rory had to think about the what Rabbit meant. "Repeat Offender? You mean, your mother is a repeat offender so she'll get sent back here?"

"Repeat 'fender," Rabbit nodded. "She be back. She be cold. Rabbit no warm Momma. Rabbit let her freeze."

Rory saw anger in Rabbit's eyes for the first time. She heard the depths of the woman's pain in her voice.

"You hate her."

"Want her deading," Rabbit said it like an oath. "Want to watch."

Rory nodded her head truly understanding Rabbit. "I bet my son feels the same way about me." She paused to dry her tears. "Sorry, Rabbit. Sorry to lose my temper like that. Sorry I ruined the day."

"No ruin. Got deading stuff. You got stuff." Rabbit gave a shy grin, "Chocolate for looksees peek?"

"What?" Rory rolled her eyes, "You want to peek at my picture when you got Todd's hot, sexy bitch."

Rabbit eagerly nodded her head and offered a piece of chocolate. She was careful to stay out of reach.

"Come on," Rory said with a grin and waved the woman closer. "I'll keep my hands to myself."

Rabbit scrambled across the berth and snuggled up next to Rory. She handed over the chocolate and Rory held up the picture.

"Him?"

"My husband, Stephen. He's gone too."

"Hot, sexy. He make warm with you?"

"Yep."

"You lucky. Him?"

"Andy, my son."

"Cute. Little. Love him?"

"Not enough." Rory answered honestly as she wrapped on arm around Rabbit. "Really sorry."

Rabbit didn't answer. She thought Rory was talking to the picture.

TBC

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