WARNING: There are violent scenes, sexual assault, bad language, you know, my usual.

COUNTERTRANSFERENCE

by phair

Part 2

O’Grady wiped the sleep from her eyes with her thumb as she pressed the entrance bell of the locked unit with the other hand’s forefinger. She could see the night nursing supervisor through the glass doors hurrying around the nursing station to unlock the door.

"Sorry to wake you," Jill mumbled.

"Hit me with the highlights," O’Grady followed the nurse down the dark, empty corridor.

"I was doing the 2 am med pass and I heard George crying. He usually sleeps like a baby so I checked on him. That’s when he told me what happened," Jill stopped walking and turned to face O’Grady. "I’m really sorry. It should have dawned on me sooner but... it’s been so busy...and she doesn’t get a med until 6 am,"

"Jill, tell me what happened," O’Grady calmly redirected the nurse.

"George told me Devyn was locked in the quiet room. He said, she and Waugh had a problem in art. God, that was over ten hours ago. I blew it, Boss. I should have looked for her sooner," Jill rubbed her aching forehead.

"She’s still in there?" O’Grady felt the blood leave her face. "Why didn’t you let her out?"

"Your signature’s on the order for isolation or, at least, it looks like your signature. The last note says there was an assault on a staff member and the police were called but security has no report of anything like that. So, it may not be true. And you’re the only one with the key," Jill was a bit defensive in the face of the doctor’s reaction.

"Actually, Dr. Waugh has a key too," O’Grady steadied herself with a deep breath. "Let’s get Devyn out of there. We can figure out the rest of it later."

The pair continued down the darkened hall. O’Grady fished in the pocket of her blue jeans for her mass of keys. As they came around the corner, three or four flashlights pointed directly at them.

"Christ, are you trying to blind us?" the sleepy doctor squinted into the glare.

"O’Grady, you never stop complaining."

"Betsy? What are you doing up here?" O’Grady held her key ring under the narrow beam of light provided in order to search for the pass key.

"I’m the most senior nurse in the building and I’m a union rep. Jill’s well aware of the procedural violations. She thought I should be involved." Betsy snorted back a laugh, "Besides, I would never give up a chance to see you out of uniform."

"Thanks for the reassurance about my sense of style. What’s with the lights?" the doctor continued to squint looking for the right key.

"Funny thing! The lighting tubes were removed from all three tracks along several panels but there’s no maintenance work order on the unit." Betsy replied and then added with a hint of urgency in her voice, "Hey, Speedy, do you actually have the key or do we need to call a locksmith?"

"Oh, this is it," O’Grady held up the thin pass key.

"Dr. O’Grady," Betsy’s voice lowered as she put a hand on the doctor’s arm, "I’ve already looked in on Devyn through the observation window in the door. It’s obvious they were pretty rough with her. I had a portable x-ray and rape kit delivered to the exam room on this unit."

"Okay," O’Grady fought back a wave of nausea at the terrible possibility. "Betsy’s with me in the cell. Jill, go call security, the police, the administrator. We’ll need a doc from the ER to treat her injuries."

"I figured you were too long out of med school to remember Trauma 101 so I came up with the equipment," a hand shot forward from the darkness. "Dr. Shen Khan, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Dr. O’Grady."

O’Grady accepted his firm handshake. She was glad to have another doctor to treat Devyn. Between her fatigue and growing anger, she doubted she could even make a straight stitch.

"Let’s do this people," the psychiatrist’s tempered command set the team in motion.

O’Grady moved to the door and inserted the key. She rapped twice before turning the lock. When the door opened, the sound of ragged crying filled the hallway.

"Devyn, it’s Dr. O’Grady and Betsy. We’re here to help you."

O’Grady knew how foolish that must have sounded even as pieces of shattered cast crushed under her sneaker. Devyn was laying on her side with her back to the door; naked. The leather restraint around her waist was pulled so snugly it was cutting into the skin. Small lines of blood trickled toward the floor. Leather restraints were also bound too tightly around the woman’s bluing ankles. O’Grady tried to ignore the multiple bruises visible across Devyn’s back as she stepped over the shuddering body on the floor.

"Devyn, can you hear me?" O’Grady noted the swollen eyes did not open when she nodded her head. "Betsy and I want to untie you. Is it okay for us to touch you?" Another quick nod of the head sent strands of blonde hair across the tear stained face. "It would be better if you could tell me with your own words."

"Okay," Devyn sobbed.

O’Grady knelt beside the terrified woman and stroked back the stray hair from Devyn’s face. Her whole body jerked defensively at the touch. O’Grady ignored the response and bruises and blood on the young woman’s face for now in order to focus on the rescue.

"I promise, we’re not going to hurt you," the doctor reassured.

Betsy released the leather bindings around the waist from the back. O’Grady worked on the straps at Devyn’s wrists which were secured to the belt. Her patient’s cries became louder when the broken arm was finally freed.

"Ms. Tannon," Betsy’s manner was motherly, "I have a blanket to cover you. It was warmed in the microwave."

"Thanks," Devyn allow the two women to sit her up and wrap the blanket around her shoulders.

"If you hold your arm like this," O’Grady positioned the injured limb against Devyn’s bare belly, "it will give some support when we move you."

"I’m sorry," Devyn whispered in the doctors ear while Betsy released the last of the restraints.

"For what?" O’Grady turned to face the woman but could only see the top of her blonde head.

"To cause problems. Please don’t send me to County. I won’t be anymore trouble. I’ll be good," there was desperation in the voice. "I’m sure I can be good."

"Devyn, look at me," the doctor pulled the blanket closed around her patient while she waited for bloodshot eyes to sneak a peak. "We’re going to the exam room together to take care of your injuries. We’re going to make you comfortable. When we finish, you can go back to your room so you can get some sleep. Tomorrow we’ll talk about where you want to continue your therapy. If you want to transfer to another hospital then I’ll arrange it. If you want to stay here then you’ll stay here."

"Can you be my doctor now?"

"Yeah, I’ll be your doctor," O’Grady wished she had just said yes the first time.

The two doctors and two nurses managed to get Devyn into a wheelchair. They knew the girl was trying to stifle her tears during the painful transfer. The short trip down to the exam room provided only a brief respite before the next agonizing move.

"Going up from the chair to the table’s always tougher. You go ahead and holler if you have to, Devyn," Betsy winked.

The young woman nodded but managed the transfer with only a few gulps of air. Devyn seemed far more concerned by all the equipment in the room than her pain. When the police woman walked in, Devyn began to tremble uncontrollably.

"Does she have to be here?" Devyn managed to catch O’Grady’s sweatshirt sleeve to pull her closer.

"The officer is here to gather evidence. Devyn, there may have been a crime committed. We need to protect your rights," O’Grady explained. "Would you like me to call a family member or your lawyer to be here for the exam?"

"I don’t have any family that cares. And my lawyer’s a kid. Could you stay with me?" Devyn’s grip tightened on the doctor’s clothing.

"I can’t treat your injuries," O’Grady took Devyn’s ice cold fingers in her own and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"But you could hold my hand," Devyn sounded hopeful. "in case I get scared."

"Yeah, I can do that," O’Grady smiled and pulled over a chair.

***

"Did you get the feeling back in your fingers yet?" Betsy grinned at the exhausted doctor slumped in her office chair.

"Oh, their fine. It’s my ass that got chewed off."

"How bad?" The nurse settled herself in the chair across the desk.

"The usual stuff; state review, new protocols for employment and restraints. A few late nights will fix the big holes until the next wise guy figures a way around the new system," the doctor sighed heavily. "Then there’s the police investigation. Waugh’s disappeared with Jenowitz."

"The cop that broke Devyn’s arm?" Besty rolled her eyes, "Not only is she a lousy doctor but she’s got terrible taste in men too."

"We were residents together, you know?" O’Grady wiped away a tear, "Friends, of sorts, or so I thought. How could she do something like this? She was a better doctor than me from the start. How did she get so lost? How come I didn’t notice before...,"

"Waugh’s been going sour since you got the department chair. You didn’t see it because you’re a friend. If it makes you feel any better, even those of us who hated her didn’t notice how bad she had gotten either."

The doctor actually cracked a small smile at the nurse’s attempt to console her.

"At least, Devyn’s injuries weren’t more serious than resetting that arm," Betsy tried further encouragement.

"Betsy, they degraded her. Devyn trusted us to keep her safe. Instead, she was assaulted and humiliated by our staff, my own staff," O’Grady’s tears overtook her, forcing her to look away.

"True but she wasn’t raped and that’s something to be thankful about. You know we’re not always this lucky when staff goes bad. Remember the nurse that killed her patients to show off for her boyfriend? It’s a dangerous world filled with vicious people who sometimes get inside these walls to prey on the weak. So now, go do your job Dr. O’Grady! Start rebuilding the trust so you can get Devyn strong enough to face the dangerous world again. She should be waking up from the sedative." Betsy jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward the door. "But wash your face first. You look like Hell warmed over."

"Thanks for the pep talk," the doctor stood and stretched her stiff muscles. "What’re you gonna do?"

"I’m taking a quick nap right here," the nurse leaned back and closed her eyes.

O’Grady closed the door behind her leaving Betsy to sleep.

***

Devyn woke alone in her hospital room with the mechanical whine of the big building droning in her ears. Her body ached dully. She was wearing an open in the back hospital johnnie instead of the usual bright orange scrubs. It took her several moments to piece together the chain of events that caused her pain. As the memories drifted back into her foggy mind, she cringed and pulled the blankets securely around her. A soft rap on the door made her jump.

"C...come in?" Devyn’s voice was hoarse from crying.

"I thought you might be awake," O’Grady stepped into the room. "Can I join you?"

"Yeah, please, I’d rather not be alone," Devyn winced slightly as she settled back against the pillow.

"Do you need anything for pain?" O’Grady offered as she sat on the only chair in the room.

"No, I’m sore but that’s all. My head still feels fuzzy from the sleeping pills," Devyn kept her blankets high. "So, is this a session or something?"

"It can be a session if you want or it could just be something," O’Grady brushed her loose hair back from her face.

"If it was a session what would we do?"

"You’d tell me what you’re thinking about."

"George," the small voice cracked. "Is he hurt?"

"George is physically fine but he is worried about you," O’Grady saw the woman flinch and knew the conversation was heading in the right direction. "He thinks he let you down."

"No!" Devyn tried to jump off the bed but her fatigue forced her back. "I was trying to run out on him. I would’ve left him alone with that horrible woman. I wanted to save myself. I deserved...,"

"Devyn," O’Grady’s melodic tone of voice was unaffected by the emotional outburst, "nobody deserves a beating."

There was silence. Devyn blinked trying to process the doctor’s words. There were no accusations or recriminations hidden in them. She was certain the doctor had missed her confession.

"You don’t understand," Devyn braced herself to explain again. "George needed me but my only thought was about me. I didn’t care what happened to him."
"Is it that you ‘didn’t care’ or were you trying to save yourself?" O’Grady’s face remained expressionless. "Just so I understand you actions completely."

"I wanted to..., only thought about, shit, saving me!" Devyn sobbed into her hands knowing the doctor would despise her selfishness.

"That’s what I would’ve done too," O’Grady’s chair creaked as she leaned forward to close the distance with the weeping woman. "Devyn, there’s no shame in being afraid and there’s no shame in staying alive. Our nature demands we fight to survive. Sometimes the best way to fight is to run away. Tell me what frightened you about Dr. Waugh."

"It’s what I see when I look at her," Devyn shook her head trying to believe Dr. O’Grady was not disgusted with her, "but that’s no excuse for leaving George alone."

"Devyn, everybody thinks about running away from danger."

"You didn’t! When you found Sharon you were scared but you didn’t leave her alone!"

"You can’t know," O’Grady stammered at the words that hit her like a blow, "there’s no way you could known about..., how could you...,"

"She was with me," Devyn studied her hands resting in her lap. "I’m sorry, she told me you still cry about her..."

"Wait, she was with you? In the cell?" O’Grady sat back feeling very dizzy in the suddenly too warm room.

"Please, don’t be mad. I didn’t say it to hurt you. I just wanted to make you understand how bad I really am," Devyn’s voice was filled with regret.

O’Grady took several deep breaths. Her heart was beating wildly at the revelation about Sharon. It took all her strength not to run out of the room. She put her focus on the troubled woman before her. Devyn needed her. O’Grady resolved to stay fixed in the chair until Devyn finished her story. Even if it meant getting Betsy to tie the flustered doctor down.

"I’m not mad at you," the shaken doctor was surprised to manage such a easy tone of voice, "but you need to help me understand what happened, ...what happens, to you. Devyn, do you think you can tell me about that night in the cell?"

"No, it’ll make you feel bad," tears were streaming down hot pink cheeks.

"I’m your doctor. There are rules. The board doesn’t allow me to have feelings," O’Grady smiled when Devyn giggled at the joke between her tears. "Let’s try this. You tell me the story. If I start to feel bad we’ll stop and call out for a pizza."

"Are you teasing me?" Devyn did not know what to make of the offer.

"Absolutely not!" O’Grady slouch comfortably in the chair, "I’m pretty strong so I should be able to withstand anything you say to me, besides," the tall woman put her feet up on Devyn’s bed with a false flash of bravado, "I really like pizza so there’s no way I can lose."

"Okay, I guess. Where should we start?" Devyn laid back against the pillow.

"In the cell with Dr. Waugh," O’Grady had heard this part already during the police questioning but wanted Devyn to face the memory again in a less sterile atmosphere.

"She told me to take off my clothes," Devyn closed her eyes as she began. "I didn’t want to. We argued and then the guard knocked me down. He stripped me. They both tied me up. It hurt so much when they fastened the belts." Devyn rubbed her belly, "It was like being strangled. Dr. Waugh laughed at me and called me names...,"

"What names?" O’Grady gently interrupted.

"Whore. She knew I was arrested before for prostitution," Devyn’s eyes snapped open at her slip. She scrambled to sit up to face the doctor, "It was a mistake. I was never charged. You gotta believe me, I would never...,"

"If you had, it would not make any difference, Devyn. Your past was not the real issue with Dr. Waugh."

"What about you? Don’t you care about all the terrible things I’ve done?" Devyn’s first spark of anger since the attack flared.

"No, we’re only talking about the cell. You can tell me anything you want about your past in another session and we’ll deal with it then." O’Grady wanted to ease the woman’s fears before moving on, "And, for the record, my concern is for the quality of your future not making you pay for your past."

Devyn laid down a little more relaxed. She seemed to be considering the doctor’s words. Her eyes closed as she began again.

"Dr. Waugh told the guard," Devyn’s blush deepened, "to ‘take ‘er for a spin,’ and I started to scream for help."

O’Grady ground her back teeth at the futility of the young woman’s efforts. The padded cell was sound proof. A steamboat whistle could not be heard outside the closed door. O’Grady angrily wondered if Waugh enjoyed watching Devyn’s pathetic attempt to save herself.

"The guard was all over me. He was biting and hitting me. I couldn’t get away. He was too strong."

"And you were tied up," O’Grady’s whisper went unheard.

"He jerked my thighs apart and all I could do was hope he wouldn’t take too long or hurt me too much. Then Sharon was over his shoulder, smiling at me. The room got so cold the guard lost his erection. Waugh seemed to panic. She yelled at the guard to get out."

"Were you afraid?" O’Grady put her own feelings into words.

"Not of a ghost," Devyn’s eyes opened and twinkled in amusement at the doctor. "Ghosts can’t hurt you. Only people can do that."

"Oh," it was O’Grady’s turn to blush.

"After they left, Sharon stayed with me. She told me about you. She worried for a long time that what she did ruined your life."

O’Grady kept her gaze steady on Devyn but her mind wandered to back years to that terrible day early in her residency. She was heading home happy it was only two hours after her shift actually ended. Pulling on her coat, she thought she heard crying coming from the hall with the locked cells. O’Grady followed the sound into the empty hall and was surprised to see a light shining from the last cell’s observation window. Curiosity won out over fatigue. O’Grady trotted down to see who was in lock down.

"Oh God," the doctor blanched at the memory of what was on the other side of the door.

"Sharon cut her own wrists with the buckle to her restraints," Devyn eased her legs over the edge of the bed needing to get closer to the trembling doctor. "She bled to death long before you got there."

"You can’t know this," O’Grady struggled to get her breath. "This can’t be real."

"She was still near her body when you smashed the window to get to her," Devyn ignored the doctor’s disbelief. "Sharon told me how kind you were. It meant a great deal to her. Dr. O’Grady, you gave her a dignity in death that she never had in her life."

O’Grady hung her head under the weight of the memory. After she screamed for help, she had grabbed the fire extinguisher and used it on the door’s window. The young doctor put her coat on the frame to protect her hands as she pulled herself through. Her hands were fine but shards of glass ripped three deep gashes across her back. Once in the room, O’Grady raced to the pale body sitting with her back to the wall surrounded by a pool of congealed blood. Even with her adrenaline pumping, the young resident was able to quickly assess Sharon was long dead; no respiration, no heartbeat, lividity and rigidity present.

"Wherever you are, may you have found peace now," O’Grady hushed as she closed the lifeless eyes.

"Oh good, you haven’t started CPR yet. My students can get it going," Bullfinch swaggered into the blood soaked cell followed by a murder of med students.

"No, sir, the patient has expired. There is no need to do CPR," O’Grady stood to face the attending.

"Don’t be ridiculous. You only found her a moment ago. The clock starts now so step aside. Waugh, you and the tall guy start," Bullfinch directed.

"No, sir," O’Grady stood between the doctor and the body, "the patient is without any vitals and demonstrating signs of decomposition. It’s irresponsible to attempt resuscitation."

"Really, DOCTOR," Bullfinch barked. "From here she looks salvageable and my students need the practice. Step aside."

"No, sir."

"WHAT?"

"She’s gone. Leave her alone," O’Grady tried being direct with the pompous man.

"Get out of the way or I’ll have security move you out of the way. You’ll be finished before you ever get started!"

O’Grady caved in quickly to the threat. She walked out of the cell to the sounds of trial and error.

"Find the sternum," Bullfinch’s voice echoed down the hall behind her.

O’Grady felt tears on her checks as the haunting images faded.

"You got in a lot of trouble, didn’t you?" Devyn touched the doctor’s knee to help the woman reconnect with the present.

"Written warning, letter of reprimand, six months suspension, had to repeat a whole year of residency," O’Grady shook her head, "all for nothing. They flogged her for two hours."

"Not for nothing," Devyn squeezed the doctor’s knee. "Sharon saw what you did. She finally understood what it meant to be loved. You put everything on the line because she was worth something. Dr. O’Grady, you saved her soul."

O’Grady finally looked up allowing Devyn to see her tears. The session had turn hopeless wrong but the doctor was unable to reset the course. Instead, she plunged in deeper.

"Tell me what you see when you look at Waugh."

"She’s surrounded by darkness," Devyn’s grip on the doctor’s leg tightened. "It’s like an inky black pool. Hands, faces, images try to surface but they can’t break free from the pull."

"What about George?" O’Grady was too weak to explore the frightening vision further.

"His parents and grandparent and great-grandparent," Devyn smiled, "he’s surrounded by generations of love."

"Does he know?"

"I think he can feel them most of the time but I never asked him about it. It’s kind of private."

"What do you see," O’Grady swallowed hard, "when you look at me?"

"Oh," Devyn seriously studied the doctor before going on, "it’s like a sunrise after a really bad storm but there’s something else..., salty, cold mud,...the beach."

"I live at the beach," the doctor sighed unsure what to think of the woman across from her.

"Dr. O’Grady, maybe we should stop for pizza now."

"Are you tired?" O’Grady tried to pull herself together.

"No, but you are," Devyn smiled broadly. "Although, I’m pretty hungry."

"We’ll talk more after?" O’Grady did not want to stop but knew Devyn was right.

"Sure, we can have a session or something," Devyn laughed, relieved the doctor was still willing to help her.

TBC

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