DISCLAIMERS: in Part 1

Hidden Desires, Part 6

©2002 -Vertigo-

Brooke jumped up and looked around, her heart was pounding and she tried to gather her bearings. Her dream was intense, much more detailed and graphic than all the others. She blew out a long breath and pulled her shirt away from her body in an effort to cool off. She was incredibly aroused and slightly embarrassed at herself for dreaming such highly erotic things. She crossed her legs tightly to stop the ache and it only made things worse. She leaned forward and rested her head on the cool coffee table. Jesus H. Christ. I can still feel her hands, her mouth, her stare. Why is she doing this to me? Brooke took a deep breath and groaned quietly as she realized she could smell her own arousal. She looked towards the bedroom then winced. I don't want him. I want Cayden. She leaned back and put her feet up on the table. God, I'm a lesbian! I really am! She thought wide-eyed and scared. I don't want Grant to touch me, I want Cayden! Holy shit do I ever want Cayden. Brooke closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down. Ok, it's not horrible, I'm sexually attracted to another woman. Who can blame me? Look at her! She's perfect! Those long legs, that sexy butt, those lips... and of course those eyes. She sighed dreamily, her pulse already beginning to race again. Oh, and don't forget those strong hands and fingers. A hot flush covered Brooke's face as she thought of Cayden's fingers. A new fire ignited in her belly and she squeezed her eyes closed tighter. The tall woman's fingers were touching her and there was nothing she could do about it, it was hopeless, and she let them roam freely in her imagination until she was squirming, and very wet. Finally, unable to prevent it from happening, Brooke slipped her hand into her panties and hummed in relief, finally allowing Cayden to touch her where she needed it most.

************************

Wade shuffled his way into the kitchen after the smell of breakfast wafted into his room. With his eyes half closed, he followed his nose to find Cayden at the stove, La La Bird sitting directly behind her, drooling. "What's the holiday?"

"I'm hungry."

Wade sat down and pulled out the chair next to him so the cat could jump up. "I hope you made enough for us too." He said, the last word swallowed by a yawn. Cayden turned and dropped a plate in front of him. He raised an eyebrow. "An omelet?" He asked in amazement. "What the heck has you in such a good mood?" Both eyebrows shot up and his eyes went wide. "Oh my god! You got laid last night!"

Cayden chuckled. "Nope." She tipped the chair over and the fat cat fell to the floor with a yowl. She sat at the small table with a plate of her own and poured them both coffee.

"Then what gives? I usually have to pay you to cook." He took a mouthful of omelet. "Mmm."

Cayden held out her hand. "Soo, where's the money, Honey?"

"Oh baby... mushrooms and cheese..." Wade picked through his food and pulled out a mushroom for the cat.

Cayden ate for a while and watched Wade go through his orgasmic eating experience. After giving him enough time in heaven, she cleared her throat. "So, how'd you sleep last night?"

"Like a rock. I got in really late."

"Smell anything odd in your bed?"

"Huh?" Wade asked drinking his coffee. "Like what?"

"Me. " Cayden said around a forkful of food.

"You?" he asked in puzzlement. Cayden raised an eyebrow and it hit him. He looked horrified. "You did not!"

Cayden snickered.

"Oh, EW! On my bed???" Wade's voice raised an octave. "Cayden Riley! You did not do it on my bed!"

"Yep. I think I even wiped my fingers on your pillow."

"GOD! I can't even remember if I turned it over before I fell asleep! I can't believe you did that! Ick.. lesbian juices." he shuddered. "Feh, Cayden!"

The tall brunette continued to finish her breakfast with a gleefully evil expression.

"You washed your hands before cutting those mushrooms didn't you?" he asked suspiciously.

Cayden shrugged. "Suffer."

Wade narrowed his eyes at his omelet, picked up a mushroom and smelled it hesitantly.

Cayden chuckled, snatched the mushroom away and ate it. "Mm, mm good."

"You're just fucking with me. The poor, defenseless, sleep deprived queen." He pouted.

"Maybe. But I'd change my sheets before inviting anyone over. Unless you want them to think you've slept with..." Cayden covered her mouth in shock. "... a GIRL."

"Oh god!" Wade shrieked and ran into his room.

****************

"Brooke, we have to be at the doctor's soon, you have to get up."

The blonde winced and groaned.

"Come on, I've been waking you up for an hour, let's go!"

"I'm not going to the doctor." she grumbled.

"Brooke! Come on!"

"I sleep just fine thank you very much. Now, leave me alone." I have a very interesting dream I must get back to. "Go play golf or something." She said, then covered her face with a pillow.

"Did you forget you're coming with me?"

Actually, she did forget that they had changed the golf plans for Saturday instead of Sunday, and Brooke only agreed to go as it was the lesser of two evils. "No, I didn't forget." Brooke opened her eyes, rolled them at Grant, and then closed them again.

"Where did you get this attitude from?"

Brooke shrugged.

Grant threw his hands up in defeat and stomped away. When Brooke was sure he wasn't coming back to annoy her, she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. If one was actually able to see a sigh, the air around Brooke would be gray. Yep. The Country Club, my favorite. Yuck. The blonde swung her feet off of the couch and sat up. Hey, its not that bad. They have awesome food, Brooke yawned, and fabulous coffee. It's just the company that stinks. Besides it's much better than shopping with Dierdre. The tired blonde yawned again and trudged her way into the bedroom. I'll see mom tomorrow.

"Well good morning." Grant said sarcastically.

"That's a matter of opinion." Brooke mumbled.

"Why did you sleep on the couch last night?"

Brooke shrugged and busied herself looking through the closet.

Grant stared at his girlfriend's back. "Brooke, really, what's going on?"

The blonde came away from the closet holding a blue sun dress. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"I think you should. Whatever is going on in that head of yours is affecting our relationship and I should know about it. Wear the yellow dress, I don't like the blue one. I mean really, I can't have you moping and pouting all over the Country Club."

Brooke walked back to the closet and started to look for the yellow dress, then stopped. "I'm wearing the blue dress, Grant, and I'll mope and pout when and where I want, but don't you worry, I'll be the perfect little Stepford wife for you at the Country club."

Grant's eyes widened. "See? That's exactly what I'm talking about! Where did this all come from?"

"Me. I'm tired of being your little doll to dress up and show off." Brooke said, trying to hide her anger. "I'm going to shower now... ALONE."

Grant sighed out loud and fidgeted with his belt buckle. What the hell? I know she doesn't have any new friends influencing her... or does she? Where does she go when she rollerblades? And who with? Maybe there's someone else? She wears such skimpy clothes when she goes out.. surely someone else has noticed that body by now. Oh shit. "BROOKE!" Grant yelled as he flung open the bathroom door.

Brooke pulled the shower curtain over her naked body and glared at him. "What?" she asked in irritation.

"Where do you go when you roller blade? Is there another man? Why are you covering yourself anyway? I know what you look like naked."

"First of all, don't you ever come barging in here again when I'm in here, second of all there isn't other man, and third of all.. I don't like you seeing me naked."

"Since when?"

"Since now. Get out."

"Brooke, please... why are you so angry with me?"

"I finally realized that this is not what I want." she answered honestly.

"What?" Grant looked stunned.

"You asked." Brooke said flatly and stepped into the shower.

Grant left the bathroom and sat dejectedly on the bed. Maybe it's just a phase she's going through. Hormones or something. He considered that for a while. What if it's not?

*******************

"Cayden? Can I wear your black silk shirt?"

The tall brunette grunted as she put on her sandals.

"Was that caveman for yes, of course you can borrow it, you look smashingly sexy in it. Or was it no, I don't want your pit stains in my silk."

Cayden poked her head inside Wade's room. "Yes, you can borrow it but I still don't want any pit stains, and keep that animal away from it too." she pointed to the enormous cat who was laying spread-eagled on the bed.

"Cool. Hey, how'd it go last night anyway?"

"Why don't you ask Jodie you sneaky bastard." she narrowed her eyes.

"Moi?" he pointed to himself, trying to look offended.

"Yes, vous. Like you had no idea that those girls were going to be there."

"Oh, I had an inkling. So, anyway, how cute is Denise?"

"She's hot, but I don't understand. There must be something wrong with her or Jodie would have done her already."

"Oh that. Well, Jodie had every intention of doing her but Denise wasn't into it. She's not a wham-bam kinda gal."

"Great." Cayden frowned.

"What's this? Cayden Riley's looking for a quickie?"

The tall brunette sucked her teeth. "Maybe. It just may be what I need."

"Cayd, are you serious?" Wade asked in disbelief. They only set her up with Denise, because Denise is a dater, and Jodie and Wade thought if Cayden and Denise hit it off, Cayden would finally have someone to date without strings. They didn't expect this kind of situation.

"I dunno. I guess. It wouldn't kill me to get laid... the proper way." She grinned and looked at Wade's newly made bed.

Wade rolled his eyes. "You're a pig. Defiling my Eden. But really Cayd, Jo and I tease you but we didn't expect you to call us on it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not you."

"Well, maybe it should be." Cayden said as she left the room.

"Cayd! Don't do something you'll regret!" Wade yelled after her, but the front door closing was his response.

***********************

The air was thick around Grant and Brooke for the better part of the morning, but once they got to the Country Club, Grant put on his usual airs, and Brooke smiled mechanically, charmingly. As Grant went off to play golf with Terry, Brooke was stuck with Mary, the 30-something, uptight, snotty, bore. Brooke resigned herself to being polite and sympathetic as Mary bitched about the most inane things, like the angle of her extremely obnoxious Donna Karan skirt, to the imperfection of her ridiculously expensive, and severely pointy nose job. Brooke continued to look interested for the most part, but kept drifting back and forth between the conversation and her surprisingly inventive imagination. Every so often Mary would catch a flush creeping up Brooke's neck and question it. Brooke would wave it off, blaming it on the heat and the amount of alcohol she was consuming.

"Brooke honey, is everything ok? I've rarely seen you empty a glass of anything alcoholic and here you've just drained your second Mimosa." Mary asked curiously. She always was one for a bit of gossip.

"Oh, it's nothing really." Brooke replied with an unconvincing smile.

"Hmm, well whatever it is, you know you can tell me." Mary said, dying to know what could be bothering perfect Brooke.

Yeah, like I'd tell you anything, you busybody. "Let's just say I've found myself. " the blonde offered cryptically.

Mary pondered that for a while and the embarrassed, yet satisfied expression on Brooke's face. "OH!" she said, nodding like a dashboard doll. "Congratulations honey!" she lifted her glass. "I found myself years ago. If you think Terry alone is enough to do that trick, you'd be sorely mistaken. We all need a little icing on that cake." She clicked Brooke's glass with her own.

Brooke giggled and sipped her new drink which was now straight champagne. Even though Mary had the wrong idea, she wasn't that far off.

"So tell me..." Mary started, leaning across the table, giving the blonde a clear view up her nostrils. "Did you do it while he was sleeping?" she whispered. "I get a secret thrill fantasizing about someone else while he's snoring his head off."

Brooke swallowed such a large gulp of champagne it was painful and her eyes watered. Isn't that a teeny bit personal? What happened to uptight Mary? She shook her head and giggled nervously.

Mary leaned back and fiddled with a finger sandwich. "I like to pretend its Vin Diesel." she confessed. "Something about a bad boy that gets me all worked up." She fanned herself for dramatic emphasis and leaned closer to Brooke again. "So, who do you fantasize about?"

Brooke almost choked on a canape. A blush rose quickly before she could stop it and she averted her eyes.

"Oh, Brooke, Darling! Now you simply have to tell me!" Mary almost vibrated with excitement.

"Uhm, I'd rather keep it to myself."

"Ooo, so it's someone I know?" Mary asked, even more excited than before.

"No, really, you don't know.... them." Brooke said quietly.

Mary smiled, her brain working a mile a minute to figure out this juicy bit of info. "Well, it certainly must be good by the look on your face. Are you sure you don't want...." Mary's eyebrows shot up as something Brooke said registered. Them? she leaned back in her chair and studied Brooke carefully. Interesting. I'm sure she doesn't mean 'them' in the plural sense...

Brooke kept her head bent and picked nervously at her food. Shit... shit... I can't believe I just gave myself away!

Mary saw that Brooke was having a hard time and decided to drop the subject for now. Or at least until after the next drink. "The Brie is wonderful, don't you think?"

Brooke began to breathe again, grateful for the change in subject. "Yes, it's very good."

*******************

Cayden was well into a bag of Cheese Doodles by the time Jodie showed up at the shop.

"Did I miss anything?" The curly haired woman asked.

"Two dogs peed on the floor and a child ate a dog biscuit."

"I always miss the fun stuff." Jodie pouted, pulling one of the customer chairs behind the counter and sitting next to Cayden.

"Maybe you want to sit in my lap?" Cayden asked of the close proximity.

"Nah, this is fine." Jodie replied, smiling with all her teeth. "Soooo, call Denise yet?"

Cayden sighed., "It took you exactly 40 seconds to hold that in. A new record. " she clapped lamely.

"I'd like to thank the Academy."

The brunette snickered and threw a Cheese Doodle at her friend. "No, I didn't call...,. I'm still thinking."

"Good."

"I just don't get it Jo. First you and Wade make it your destiny in life to get me laid and when I even consider it, the both of you freak out."

"We care about you Cayd. We don't want you doing something for the wrong reasons. Especially something big, like this."

"What reasons?" Cayden asked, slightly irritated.

"Spite." Jodie said confidently.

"Spite? Who am I spiting?"

"Do I really have to answer that question?"

"Why would I do something like that?"

"Maybe you should tell me?"

"Jo, you're pissing me off now. Stop answering my questions with questions."

"That Brooke got to you in a big way."

"Where the hell did she come from now?" Cayden asked, tossing the bag of Cheese Doodles on the counter in disgust.

"Oh, yeah... it's her. I saw the way you two looked at each other in the park. It was right out of a tacky movie. I swear I saw sparks."

"Shut up. There were no sparks. We just recognized each other is all." Cayden argued.

"You shut up. Just admit it Cayd, you're head over heels. Totally fucked."

"Oh, I'm fucked alright." Cayden pouted. "Shit, Jo, what am I going to do?" she whined pathetically.

"Oh honey..." Jodie rubbed her friends leg. "I knew this was what was going on. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. I didn't expect to like her..."

"Like her?"

"Okay, I want her in the worst way." Cayden slumped lower in her chair. "I never felt like this about anyone. I hardly know her! Dammit Jo... she's straight for gods sake!" Cayden said with frustration.

Jodie looked sympathetic. "Honey, I don't hate to tell you this, but she looked at you like you were a cinnamon bun and she was starving to death."

Cayden smirked. "Yeah? You know... I thought so too. Even when she was here, I could have sworn she was interested. Then she throws her boyfriend at me." The shopkeeper stopped talking and sighed heavily.

"Damn. You finally find her and you can't even have her."

"It's not fair!" Cayden pouted again, picked up the Cheese Doodles and ate one.

"I tell you what, she was definitely into you, there was no mistaking that. I have no idea why she brought up her boyfriend, unless she was reminding herself. I saw the way she acted." Jodie paused to eat a Cheese Doodle. "I think, if the opportunity arises again, you should call her on it."

"I can't do that." Cayden said rolling her eyes.

"Oh, yes you can. You'd be surprised."

"Jo, if she comes in here again I bet I'll act like a total moron and embarrass myself."

Jodie chuckled. "Give it a try Cayden. Just thinking about your next meeting and planning out what your going to say will make it easier. You'll be able to do it."

"Yeah, whatever." Cayden agreed reluctantly.

Jodie took the entire bag of Cheese Doodles away and began to eat them. "So, what else is new?"

"Wade has a date." Cayden said, stealing back the bag.

"Hey, those things are addictive! You can't just allow me one or two and take them away." The waitress reached in and took a bunch out and smiled in satisfaction. "So, Wade has a date. Our little boy is all grown up."

"Yeah well he better be all grown up, he's wearing my black silk shirt."

"It must be great to have a man around who wears the same size as you. Think of all the sweats and Tshirts!"

"Eh. I don't borrow his sweats. Something icky about having my personal where his balls were..." Cayden scrunched up her face.

"Ew Cayd!" Jodie grimaced and laughed at the same time. "You wear panties!"

"You wear panties.." She wiggled her eyebrows. "I prefer to go au natural in sweats."

"TMI"

************************

Brooke downed quite a bit of alcohol as the morning drifted into afternoon. Mary turned out to be more fun than Brooke anticipated and there was alot of giggling to be had as they played "boxers or briefs" with the Country Club lot. The blonde was pleasantly surprised with the turn of events, and whether it was the drinking or her misconception of Mary, it didn't matter. She was actually having a good time at the Country Club for a change, and with Mary of all people.

"You know Mare, I can call you Mare can't I? This was a pretty good morning." Brooke said drunkenly.

"Yes, I agree! We should do this more often." Mary suggested, then excused her small hiccup.

Brooke smiled politely. She wasn't a drunk and had a feeling she would have to be to enjoy Mary's company on a regular basis. "That would be nice." she said with a nod, having no intention on following through.

A flouncy woman, who was at least fifteen years younger than the man she was hanging onto, captured their attention and they both giggled.

"Panties or a thong?" Brooke asked.

Mary craned her neck to get a good look at the departing duo. "Neither. But he's definitely wearing boxers."

"Uh uh, nope. He's wearing a latex g-string and matching bra." Brooke said seriously. "For foreplay, she dresses up as Julia Child and beats him with lasagna noodles."

Mary was unable to close her gaping mouth so her laughter was loud and raucous. The highly unladylike sounds emanating from the usually refined woman brought Brooke to near hilarity and the two of them eventually drew attention to themselves.

After calming down a bit, Mary wiped her eyes and stared at Brooke in amazement. "Where did that come from?" she asked, still giggling.

"I have HBO, I watch Reel Sex sometimes." Brooke slurred.

"Oh my! The last time I stumbled across that show, they were doing a sing on thwingers." she said with a sour face, then knit her brow in confusion. "I mean, a thing on swingers."

Brooke snickered at Mary's tipsy flub.

Mary opened her eyes wide."Have you SEEN some of those people? No wonder they want a fresh face."

"There was this one show about piercing, that almost made me sick." Brooke said, after finishing her glass of champagne. "I suppose a navel or even a nipple is ok, but really... the things people pierce!"

"I am a firm believer in keeping some parts intact. There are some things that just shouldn't have holes in them. Imagine one of those women with a nipple ring trying to breast feed? Milk squirting every which way." Mary shook her head in disgust and signaled the waiter.

"I don't know, I think that nipple rings are kinda hot." Brooke said quietly, her mind wandering to Cayden, trying to imagine what her nipples look like and wondering if they're pierced.

"Oh? So, this mysterious fantasy person has a nipple ring?" Mary inquired, leaning close to Brooke.

Brooke backed away from the woman and fanned herself. "I don't know." She said defensively.

"Hmm. You aren't going to tell me who it is are you." Mary stated.

Brooke blushed. "I don't think I should."

"Why? If I don't know... them... then there's no harm done." Mary pushed.

Oh god, she knows! She knows its a woman! Brooke panicked at first, then thought about it for a moment, squirming under the scrutiny. "No, I can't." She decided.

Mary leaned back in her chair, disappointed. Darn. I'm just dying to know!

Brooke studied her new glass of champagne. I can't tell her, she'll tell Terry and he'll tell Grant. I have enough trouble with Grant as it is. But boy, I'd love to be able to get it out to someone. Oh! Bev! I can tell Bev!

Mary noticed Brooke's sudden change of expression from pouty to thrilled. I'd so love to know what's going on in her head.

Just then, the same young woman with the old man wandered by and Mary slapped Brooke on the arm.

Picturing the old man in latex sent champagne shooting out of Brooke's nose. "OW! GOD!" she yelped between guffaws of laughter.

Mary, just as drunk and laughing even louder tried to blot Brooke's nose with a napkin that turned out to be the tablecloth. The two inebriated women laughed even harder as glasses and dishes started hitting the floor, shattering in all directions.

************************

"Isn't that your wife making a scene?" Grant asked, upon seeing Mary in the midst of the chaos.

"Good lord, yes! And she's with Brooke!"

By the time the two men got there, Brooke and Mary were in tears, they were laughing so hard.

"Mary! What are you doing?" Terry asked angrily, gesturing to the flock of waiters trying to clean up around them.

Grant could see immediately that they were drunk and his ears turned red. "Brooke, what has gotten into you?" he asked calmly, as he pulled her out of her chair a little roughly.

"Hey!" She protested pulling her arm back and nearly falling over. The flurry of activity going on around her was making her dizzy.

"Let's go home, Honey. I think you need a nap." Grant said in a controlled tone.

"Yes, I agree." Terry said tersely and tight lipped, as he helped Mary up. "Great game by the way, maybe next time you'll let me win?" he tried joking.

Grant gave him a long suffering look as he wrapped his arm around his teetering, giggling girlfriend.

"Brooke, dear, you have yourself a faaabulous nap." Mary said with an obvious wink.

Brooke blushed. "Oh I sure will, I sure will. To sleep perchance to dream." she slurred.

"Ah, yes. " Mary agreed wiggling her eyebrows. "You be sure to give them a little something for me, but stay away from the lasagna." The drunk woman almost cackled with laughter at her own joke.

"Okay ladies, time to go." Terry said, wrapping his arm around his wife's waist for support.

Grant forced a smile as he grasped Brooke tighter than he should have.

"OW! You're hurting me!" She whined trying to pull away.

"Don't want you falling down... dear." Grant said through his teeth.

Brooke narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, I may embarrass you." she sneered. "Hey Mary!" she shouted across the patio, "Tighty Whities!" she yelled while pointing to Grant's crotch.

Mary broke out into hysterical laughter nearly toppling both Terry and herself over.

"BROOKE!" Grant steamed, dragging her away from the people.

"You need color Grant. Blues, or reds.... your underwear is as boring as you are." she said a little loudly.

Grant took a deep breath and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. "Must we talk about this now?"

"Why the hell not?" Brooke threw her hands up in the air and neary fell. "Whoa..." she complained.

Grant led her through the club and into the parking lot with no further incident, then loaded her into the car. "You're not gong to throw up or anything are you?"

"Nope!" Brooke answered happily. "I feel great! Perfect!" She shouted.

"Jesus, Brooke! Keep it down!" Grant slammed her door shut and ran around to the driver's side.

The blonde giggled and waited until he was inside the car. "You need to loosen up Grant ol' boy."

"I'm loose enough thank you." he said as he started the car. He had to remind himself that she was drunk and probably doesn't realize she's being rude.

"You're as loose as your tighty whities."

"Will you leave my underwear alone? They never bothered you before."

"Well, they do now." I wonder what kind of panties Cayden wears. NO! Stop that Brooke! Don't even THINK about her panties. LA LA LA LA LA ... oh yeah, whatever she wears I bet they're black... STOP! The sun will come out... tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar ... a thong. A black silky... sexy.... thong. "Mmmm...."

"What?"

Brooke turned her head to look at Grant. "What?"

"That's what I asked you. You hummed."

Brooke blushed and waved her hands in the air distractedly. "Well, I guess I thought of something yummy."

"Yeah? Like what?" Grant asked, happy to be talking about something other than his underwear.

Brooke shrugged her shoulders and looked guiltily out the window. Cayden's underwear stuffy old Grant. That's what's so yummy. Sexy Cayden's underwear... her black thong... oh god... she groaned.

"Brooke?"

"TOMORROW! TOMORROW! I LOVE YA TOMORROW.."

Grant was startled enough to pull the car over. "Brooke! What is wrong with you??! You scared me half to death!"

The blonde snickered. "You're only a day a... WAAAAAAY!"

"I will not drive all the way back to Manhattan with you screaming show tunes off key! Now close your eyes and sleep!"

Brooke pouted. "Ok, but I may just hum a lot more if you make me sleep."

"Humming I can handle, Annie I can't."

*********************

Cayden covered her face with her hands and groaned, she couldn't watch. "Oh my god! You are so stupid.. it's "c", Petunia!"

"Cayd, not everyone is as brilliant as you." Jodie laughed.

The contestant fidgeted, hemmed and hawed, and then chose to phone a friend, which sent Cayden into a tailspin.

"Oh, for chrissakes!" the shopkeeper shook her head in disgust. "Everyone knows who Porky Pig's girlfriend is."

Jodie changed the channel. "Well, there's Judge Judy, or Oprah..."

"Please, if I hear Dr. Phil tell one more woman she's a hopeless obese loser I'll hunt him down and kill him myself. Gimme that..." she said, snatching away the remote. "Trading Spaces is on."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. It's all about Amy Winn."

"Damn right." Cayden sat back and watched with interest. "See? Look at her, she's hot."

"Please. What carpenter in their right mind wear shorts and a tank top to cut wood." Jodie teased.

"You just wish you had her boobs." Cayden shot back.

The bell over the door tinkled and the two women sat up straight and smiled.

"Hello, Ladies." A short, fey man with wavy orange hair, plaid boxer shorts and a pink tank top sashayed in carrying a perfectly groomed if not overweight Shih Tzu.

"Hi there, Butch." Jodie said and then turned her head so not to snicker in his face.

Cayden smiled and kicked Jodie under the counter. It was an ironic twist of fate that a man that effeminate would be named Butch.

"How are you, Cayden, Honey? Whew! Is it ever hot out there, I'm shvitzing like an ape!" He declared, fanning himself with his free hand.

If you put down that fat throw pillow... Jodie thought.

"Oh I know! I am eternally grateful for the AC. What can I get you, Butch? Did Anna-Nicole like the vanilla cookies?"

"Oh she loved them. A little too much, she's never going to lose weight if I get her any more... OOO! Is that Trading Spaces?" He asked, leaning over the counter and nearly choking the women with Aramis.

Cayden stood up to get some fresh air and nodded. "Yup, it just started."

"Oh yay! Who's in the tank top today? Ty?" Butch asked excitedly.

"Nope, apparently god's gift to lesbians, Amy Winn is on this episode." Jodie said, coming out from around the counter to find the dietetic cookies.

"Hmph." He pouted. "She's ok, but Ty's much hunkier. He's just so yummy!"

"Ooo, them's fightin' words." the waitress joked.

"Amy Winn rocks." Cayden cheered as they showed said carpenter.

"Ty!"

"Amy!"

"TY!"

"Children, do I have to separate you?" Jodie said, shaking her finger at them. "Here's some diet cookies for Anna-Nicole. Speaking of, do you watch her show?"

Butch examined the package of treats as he spoke. "Of course we do. My little sweetie loves the show. I, personally, am a little worried about the woman. Ok, these look good, and I need a pack of tinkle pads."

Cayden rang him up while Jodie retrieved the wee-wee pads. "I can't watch the show. It's like a train wreck. Besides, I think Kimmy has the hots for Anna."

"Oh no kidding, that's no secret. I'm sure they're doing it in a closet somewhere away from the cameras." Butch giggled, paying for the items.

"Ugh. please, don't give me that image. I have a date tonight." Jodie said with a sour face.

Cayden handed Butch his package. "Take it sleazy Butch, see ya soon."

"You take care too, Cayden. Thanks for the diet cookies, Jodie."

"Amy Winn." Cayden snuck in as he was walking out the door.

"TY!" He shouted as the door closed.

"You are such a brat." Jodie said, plopping herself back onto the stool.

Cayden stuck her tongue out and harrumphed watching Butch traipse across the street. "You know, I'll never understand how a grown man can walk out of the house with red plaid boxers and a pink tank top."

"He wasn't wearing anything under those boxers you know." Jodie said with a grimace.

"How do you know?"

"Come on! They were right up his crack. I read between the lines."

"YUCK, Jo. OO! Amy's on a ladder. I bet she smells good."

"Speaking of smells, hows Wade's cat, what's his name... Feather?"

"La La Bird. The cat's enormous, there oughtta be a law. Shut up, Amy's taking down a ceiling fan."

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