CHARACTER DISCLAIMER:
The characters herein are mine. MINE I TELL YOU! You may play with them because I'm a good girl and I share. However, I run with scissors. Any resemblance to real or fictional people are strictly part of your imagination. (Hey, I know who they look like, and you know who they look like, but what can you do.) Some places in the story are real and some are fictional.

LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
Hello???? This is Vertigo! This story depicts an explicit love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If you do and it offends you, whoops.

Authors note: There's a little bitty paragraph in chapter 4 depicting almost hetero sex. Don't panic. There's no penii involed, I just can't bring myself to do that to you. It's brief, but necessary.

Thank You: First and foremost, I must thank SJW for her endless love, support, and her chapter dissertations. Gotta thank the lovely ladies of VertigosWorld and BL Miller for extending their brains and giving me encouragement. WARNING! This story was not totally edited! Please don't point out the mistakes, I know they're there.

Hidden Desires, Part 1

©2002 -Vertigo-

Cayden Riley hesitantly peeked through her left eye at her alarm clock. With a relieved sigh, she turned over onto her side and snuggled down deeper into her feather bed. She had fifteen more miutes left until the alarm went off and she wanted to use all fifteen of them productively. Preferably snoring, but she'd take what she could get.

Moments later, an enormous cat, La La Bird, came trotting into the room and jumped onto the bed. Cayden rolled her eyes behind closed lids. She knew he was sitting there... staring at her, willing her eyes to open and see him, as if she didn't notice the mild earthquake he created by jumping up next to her.

The tall, sleepy brunette started a countdown in her head. Any second, her roommate, Wade, alerted by the cat galloping from his vigil by the food bowl, would poke his head into her room and wake her up. 10... 9... 8...7...

Cayden often wondered how La La knew she was awake. She hardly even moved and she certainly didn't make any noise, but every morning, the very moment that she rose to wakefulness, the cat was waddling into her room. 3... 2... 1.

"Good morning, Sweetie! Rise and shine!"

Cayden groaned and burrowed her face into the pillow.

"Who's the wooshkie-smooshkie, beautiful princess?"

Cayden cringed. She hated that. "Sic 'em La La," she said, moving only her arm to point in Wade's direction.

The cat simply blinked.

"Thanks, buddy." She mumbled, after hearing no screams for mercy.

"Come one, Sweetikins, let's greet the day with a big, bright smile." Wade shouted gleefully.

"Bite me, Mary Sunshine. I still have 7 minutes."

"Awww... does Um's need some coffee?" he asked with slight pity.

"Um's would like to be left alone for 6 minutes and 42 seconds... and take that thing with you." she pointed at the cat.

"So bitchy in the morning." Wade grumbled. "You need to get laid, Cayden." he said with a snort and left the room.

"You forgot sometihing." Cayden groused, opening her startlingly blue eyes to stare at La La Bird's nose. "What?" she asked the gigantic cat.

"MAOW!" The cat blinked and lickled his lips.

"Wade! He's looking at me like that again!" Cayden complained.

"Here, you big baby."

Wade suddenly appeared in her line of vision with a steaming mug of coffee. Cayden sat straight up. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Hmmm, Ms. Cranky Pants, are you sure you want this now?" he held up the coffee. "You still have 4 minutes and 12 seconds."

Sleepy blue eyes narrowed and Cayden sneered.

"Ok, ok! No need to get all butch on me."

Cayden took the coffee and swallowed a big gulp. "Ohhh yeahhhh...." she groaned blissfully.

"See, now that's why I think you need to get laid, Honey. That kind of pleasure shouldn't come from a cup of caffiene."

"Says you." The tall brunette mumbled into the steaming cup.

Wade sat himself down on the bed and hoisted La La onto his lap. "So there's this chick...."

Cayden held up her hand and shook her head. "NO! N...O. No more blind dates Wade." she said adamantly.

"But you haven't even heard what she looks like!" he pouted.

"No. I told you the last time, no more." Cayden swung her legs off the side of the bed and yawned.

"Honey, she's got the cutest ass, and I know how much you like a mean buttock." He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Cayden couldn't help but inquire. "Yeah?" She put her coffee down on the nightstand and stood up, stretching her back.

"Oh yeah. She's about an inch or two shorter than you, which might I add, is a rarity, and she's got the cutest dimples."

The tall woman pursed her lips in thought. Taller than my belly button huh? A nice ass? Hmmm.

Wade grew excited, seeing Cayden considering the idea. After the last blind date disaster, he thought she would never accept another. The woman turned out to be a real fruitcake and once she had a little wine, jumped up on the table and began singing nursery rhymes with a German accent. Wade knew he had to throw the nice looking tush in there or she wouldn't even consider.

"You haven't really told me anything. What does she do, what color is her hair, is she 300 lbs? Does she like big purple dinosaurs?"

"Oh my, so shallow."

Cayden sat back down on the bed and stared at her roommate. "Spill it."

"She's a cable guy, she has brown hair and she's not 300 pounds." he said, looking slightly guilty.

Cayden made a claw with her hand and aimed it at the cat. "Talk to me, or La La bites it."

Wade pulled the cat close to his chest. "OKAY! She's got a tattoo on her neck but really, you can hardly see it when she wears a turtle neck!"

"I knew it! I knew she was a freak!" Cayden threw her hands in the air. "No, no way, you can forget it." She said, pulling open a dresser drawer and yanking out a pair of panties.

"Just one little date? I promise she won't bite."

The tall woman grabbed a shirt from another drawer and shook her head. "You already told her I'd go didn't you?" she asked in alarm.

"Kinda." Wade admitted meekly. "I'll tell her to wear a turtle neck?" he tried.

"Wade Maxwell! It's 90 degrees out there!" Cayden pointed to the window. "Really now!"

Wade blushed. "It's just one night out of your life, Cayden. I swear, you really oughtta try and get out and meet someone. It can't be healthy to sit around all night and watch HGTV. Someone has to help."

Cayden closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Did it occur to you that I like sitting around by myself and watching television?" She looked at his pathetic face and caved. "Oh alright. I'll go, but I swear this is the last time!" she said waving her arm in the air to make her point.

"YES!" Wade jumped up and danced around the room with the cat. "Thank you honey!" he ran over and kissed her cheek. "You never know, she may be the one." he said excitedly.

"Yeah, imagine that." Cayden said with a sigh. "Now go, unless you want to see me naked."

"Ack!" Wade held his cat tight and ran from the room.

****************Ý

Brooke Hewitt rolled over, and with a heavy sigh, painstakingly disentanged herself from her boyfriend, and crawled out of bed. With a wide yawn she scratched her head and dragged her feet to the bathroom. "Grant, you need to get up." she called out in a sleepy voice.

"Mmmph."

Closing the bathroom door, she turned on the water and yawned again. I gotta do something about this insomnia, she thought, letting the cold water run over her hands. I can't function like this anymore. The cold water shocked her considerably as she splashed it onto her face. Brrrrr!!! Brooke let the water dribble down her neck as she sat down to pee.

"I'm up." The male voice floated into the bathroom.

Brooke nodded at the door as she yawned again. "Coffee Grant... please." she whined.

"You got it, Honey."

Brooke smiled as she flushed the toilet. Grant was so good to her lately. Her sudden bout of sleeplessness was disturbing to him and he tried everything he could to help. He's been so patient with me and I've been nothing but a bitch, She thought guiltily.

Grant Huntington, a tall, handsome, well muscled young man, gathered the morning paper from the doormat and waited for Brooke to finish with her morning rituals. He couldn't help noticing that her insomnia started soon after she moved in with him and was trying hard not to bring the subject up. He didn't want her to leave, he wanted to eventually marry her. She was perfect. Pretty, smart, and accommodating, and she had a body worth showing off. He knew the moment he met her that she was the one. There had to be a way to fix the problem without alerting her to what he knew.

"Morning honey."

Grant looked up from the paper and smiled. "Well?" he asked in concern.

"About two hours straight. I think that's an improvement don't you?" Brooke answered with forced happiness, her green eyes dull and lifeless.

"Brooke, Baby, maybe you need to see a doctor. You know, Mother had the same problem and they gave her pills. She never had the problem again. You should think about it."

The short blonde gave it some thought. Maybe pills were an answer, she certainly couldn't go on like this much longer. "I'll think about it hon. Bathroom's all yours."

Grant poured a cup of coffee for his girlfriend and set it in front of her before he took the paper and left the room. Brooke plopped heavily into the chair and held the cup with both hands. Pills. Maybe I should?

After several more yawns and two cups of coffee, Brooke began to get dressed for work. She frowned at her reflection in the mirror and poked at the bags under her eyes. God, I look awful! she thought as her eyes welled up with tears, Why is this happening to me?

Grant came into the room to find Brooke wiping her eyes. He immediately felt his heart speed up as he ran to be by her side. "Don't cry honey. We'll figure this out."

"Grant, I feel miserable! I'm exhausted, my head is always hurting and my eyes look like Gramma Millie's! I can't do this any more!" She cried.

"Well, crying isn't going to help. Let's go to the doctor this weekend, okay?"

Brooke dried her eyes on Grant's sleep shirt. "Ok, we'll go." she said sadly.

"That's much better." he smiled in relief. "Now that that's taken care of, Terry and I are going golfing on Sunday. You wouldn't mind coming to keep Mary company would you?"

Brooke had a temper tantrum on the inside. "No, I guess it would be ok." she replied amiably.

"Great! You're a gem sweetheart!'

Brooke watched Grant get dressed distractedly. Great, the country club, she pouted. Pretentious assholes all sitting around trying to out do each other...

"Maybe you'll wear that yellow dress?"

"Sure." She agreed numbly. She was too tired to disagree. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I have to go to my parent's house after work again tonight. They're staying by gramma Millie's and I have to take care of Fred."

Grant fowned. "How long is that dog going to live anyway? God, he must be 100 years old by now."

Brooke narrowed her eyes and ignored him as she usually did. He just wasn't a dog person. "Gramma should be back on her feet tomorrow."

"Well good. You always smell like dog when you come home from there."

Brooke stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "I'll see you later, Hon." she said with little emotion as she kissed him on the cheek. An old saying of Gramma's floated through her head, Never trust anyone that doesn't like animals. She shook away the thought. Grant wasn't actually mean to animals, he just avoided them.

"I love you."

Brooke sighed. "I know. I love you too."

*****************

Cayden set her coffee cup on the sidewalk and pulled open the gate to her shop. Once it was all opened up, she picked up her coffee and started to panic. This was the part that she hated, running inside and shutting off the alarm in the dark, with a coffee in one hand. Many times she hit the wrong buttons and the alarm started blaring, making her even more panicked. After the fourth time, the neighboring shopkeepers stopped running over and helping her, and the alarm company reps stopped calling. They all knew when the alarm went off between 10 AM and 11 AM it was Cayden and her cup of coffee.

With the alarm taken care of, the tall brunette turned on the lights and the Fuzzy Belly Deli was open for business. "First things first." She said, running straight for the thermostat. The humidity of the New York summer had permeated the walls and the tall woman needed to fix it quick before the doggie treats began sweating.

Cayden inherited the shop from her parents, who opened it when she was just a kid. It made sense that they just passed it on to her when they retired, being it was the only job she really enjoyed. She tried other employment options but always came back to the little shop. When she was a teen, she refused to work on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, believing anything worth doing was done downtown, preferrably in Greenwich Village. But after working in the Village, she realized they were more fake down there than they were uptown. Now, she liked this store and the quirky eccentrics, even the occassional snob that visited. She knew all the regulars, and welcomed all the newcomers happily. There were the occassional nutcases as well, but she dealt with them as best she could. The real perk of the job to Cayden was meeting all the fur people that accompanied their humans. Truth be told, she had a humongous soft spot for critters and often remembered them before she could recall the owner's name. If she was forced to admit it, she'd even tell you that she liked La La Bird, just a little.

Settled behind the short counter, Cayden took the lid off of her to-go cup and watched the steam rise from her coffee. The air conditioner had just kicked in and she almost felt human again. Someone appeared by the front door and she looked up as the bell rang to see her long time friend Jodie entering the shop.

"Mornin' hon!" Jodie waved as she approached the counter.

"Yeah." Cayden replied with a shrug. "I guess it is."

Jodie ignored her friend's grumpiness and leaned over the counter for a kiss. After pecking Cayden on the cheek, she flounced her way around the counter, flung her purse onto a chair and tore a hole into the top of her coffee container. "So, what's up?" She asked, leaning her elbows on the counter.

Cayden blew on her coffee before taking a big sip. "Nothing really. Wade set me up again."

"You said yes?" Jodie asked in disbelief. "After the Nazi Mother Goose?"

Cayden shrugged and contiued to drink her coffee.

"Wow. What's she look like?" Jodie wondered, drinking her coffee too.

"Well, he didn't say much except she's not a midgit, and she's got a cute ass."

"Hey, two big plusses if you ask me."

"I suppose. Hey, so how'd it go with Sherry?"

"Sharon." Jodie corrected. "It went okay. We went to a trendoid club, got drunk and boffed in the car."

Cayden shook her head. "I don't know how you do it? How can you sleep with someone you just met?"

"Easy, you just do." Jodie shrugged. "It wouldn't kill you to get laid too ya know."

"Not you too!" Cayden stood up and began pacing.

"I'm serious. You need to get some, Cayden. It would do you a world of good. When's the last time you had sex anyway? A year ago?" Jodie asked, jumping into Cayden's big comfy chair.

"I can't remember." The tall brunette replied while adjusting some containers of cookies.

"See? That's the point. A person should remember their last orgasm."

"That I can remember Jo." Cayden chuckled. "Thursday afternoon."

Jodie jumped up in surprise. "Here? You did that here?" She pointed at the chair she was just sitting on.

"No, you idiot. I went to the bathroom." Cayden said with a grin.

"Well, I suppose that counts for something. It was an orgasm." she nodded to herself. "But still, Cayd, don't you get tired of that?"

"Nope." She answered seriously. "I know what I like. No questions, no awkward moments, no naked confusion."

The bell above the door tinkled, ending their conversation.

***************

Brooke put on her happy face as she walked through the large office space towards her desk. She offered the occassional smile and replied cheerfully to her co-workers when asked how she was this hot morning. Truthfully, she felt like shit and really just wanted to lay her head on the desk and cry, but they didn't have to know that. Finally reaching her cubicle, Brooke slung her pocketbook over her chair, and sat down heavily. Mechanically booting up her computer, she stared at the brown paper bag that held her breakfast without really seeing it. She was still pouting about having to spend Sunday with Mary at the country club when she'd rather be at home catching up on some sleep. Oddly enough, she was able to sleep in on weekends, if she was left alone, and was so thrilled to do so that she never questioned why. Damn. I really should have said no, she though sourly, then felt guilty. But then again, Grant's been so nice to me lately, that I really should do this for him.

"Good Morning, Brooke!"

The blonde snapped out of her thought and looked up at the face popping over the side of her cubicle. "Good Morning, Beverly." she said with a smile.

Beverly was a sweet woman, only had a few years left until she retired. Some thought of her as a little wierd but Brooke always thought, to each his own, and took her co-worker for what she was, a genuinely nice person. Beverly wore her salt and pepper hair in an old fashioned bowl cut, and dressed rather brightly. She always had some rainbow or another fixed to her clothing in support of her gay daughter, Sam. The older woman was highly involved in parents of gays organizations and was always bragging about her daughter. Brooke found this to be charming, while others were just annoyed. They'd rather not hear of the latest gay rights plan or charity dance. Beverly reminded her of the mother on that cable show about gay people that Brooke caught once or twice.

"Is it hot enough for ya?" Beverly asked with an exaggerated wipe across her forehead.

"You're lucky you take the express bus Bev. Can you imagine what the subway was like?" Brooke replied, finally digging into her paper bag.

"I don't envy you sweetheart. Say, is that a chocolate croissant? I never saw you eat sugar for breakfast." Beverly observed.

"Yeah, I need the kick this morning. Monday's are always the hardest." Brooke answered with another fake smile. "So, how's Sam's business?" Sam ran a website that sold products geared towards the gay community.

"Fine, just fine." Beverly smiled proudly. "Did you know that Sam and Nancy are thinking about having a child?"

Brooke bit into the croissant and cringed a little. The sweetness overwhelming her at first. "Really?" The blonde was actually interested. "How?"

"Well, Sam wants to carry the child so I thought they should use sperm from Nancy's brother, but they're going to go with an anonymous donor. They never listen to me." She said with offense.

"Nancy's brother?" Brooke asked in amazement.

"Well sure! Let's keep it in the family! After all if Nancy can't do the deed, at least let the baby have her genes!"

Brooke digested that, along with her breakfast. "You really like Nancy don't you."

"Of course I do! She is the best thing to ever happen to Sam." Beverly said with sincerity.

"Even though she's a woman?" Brooke asked, then realized how stupid that sounded. "I mean, did you really love her at first?" The blonde shook her head and blushed. "I'm sorry, it's not coming out like I want."

"Oh, never you worry, I know what you mean." The older woman reassured. "I always thought there was something different about Sam, but I wasn't sure what it was until she told me she was gay. Then it all fell into place. I wasn't upset or anything that she was gay, mind you. I was frightened for her because of society. I, personally, don't care who she loves as long as they make her happy and show her the respect she deserves. Nancy is the one."

Brooke smiled. "You're one of a kind Bev. Sam's lucky to have you."

"Don't I know it." Bev teased and laughed. "Well, gotta get to work!"

"Yeah, I guess we do." Brooke agreed reluctantly. At first, she only stared at her computer screen going over what Bev had said about Sam and Nancy. They sound like they were made for each other. I'd love to meet them and see for myself. Can a couple like that really exist? Respect huh? I get respect don't I? I mean, Grant cares about me... most of the time. He worries about me, sometimes. Oh but, he's a man, that's just the way men are. Brooke sighed in thought. Can they really be that happy? It must be because they're two women, but there's gotta be a downside to that too. It must be murder when they ovulate, and they must do that together by now, she grinned. But the way Bev talks... They sound like the perfect couple. I wanna be that happy too. The blonde clicked her mouse a few times and began working. Maybe one day.

part 2

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