Wall of Silence

By

Gabrielle Goldsby

(AKA GabGold)

See part one for disclaimers:

"Mmm, coffee." I murmured as I fought to raise myself from my comatose state. I would hit the snooze button and get a few extra Z's before work. I reached over to my nightstand my eyes still shut. I sniffed the unfamiliar jersey sheets for a moment and opened both eyes wide searching in vain for the unlucky woman who had bedded me last night. I caught the splash of deep blue on the floor and reality came flooding back like a kick in the ass. This was no dream. I was a wanted person. On the run like the countless men and women I had hunted for the past eight years.

I looked around for Riley and not seeing her, decided to get in the shower. I grabbed my LAPD t-shirt and slipped it over my head. It was long enough to give me some cover but I needed to hurry if I didn't want to show Riley my meager goods. I was just passing the room where she slept when I heard labored breathing from inside. I took a step back and peeked in the space left by the partially closed door. Riley sat on a weight bench in a pair of form-fitting gray cotton shorts and matching half top. She had her eyes closed and a rather impressive looking weight posed above, and slightly behind her back. The bruise above her eye was almost unnoticeable. I watched as she steadily raised then lowered the weight, every muscle in her body tensing and releasing as she did so. Steady breaths hissed from her tightly clenched jaw as she did so. Her stomach muscles clenched each time she raised the barbell above her head, a stream of sweat trickled down her temple, to her neck, then to her chest, only to disappear tantalizingly between her breasts.

I shook myself from my trance and turned away before I was caught and had to explain myself. Talk about horrible timing. I'd always assumed that my sex drive was nil-to-none. Most of the sexual encounters that I did have, and mind you there hadn't been many, had not been initiated by me. 'Girlfriends' was a magazine that I scanned, but I had never really had one to call my own and that was just fine by me.

Riley Medeiros was an anomaly. Never in my life, even in my rambunctious teens, had I ever had a flash of pure lust like I had experienced in watching this woman sweat.

I killed someone, I was now wanted for questioning by the LAPD, who by the way happened to be my employer, the two jack asses that were assigned to my case were trying to frame me for a murder I did commit, my libido had decided to work full-blown and to top it all off, it went active for a straight woman.

I liberally poured some of Riley's shampoo into my hands and began scrubbing my scalp. Tears threatened, but I pushed them away. It wouldn't do any good to cry. I would just have to deal with this logically. My first thought was to call my father but I was sure they would expect me to do that. As was his habit, he would try to help me clean up the mess I got myself in to. No, no matter what, I couldn't get him involved, not this time. This was not stealing a pair of earrings for a high school sweetheart, or a bag of chips. This was murder, and not even the great Clive Everett could get me out of this one.

I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and started lathering my body with soap. I would have to leave here as soon as possible. I didn't want Riley in any more trouble than she was already in. I hoped the jokers at my apartment wouldn't identify her and trace her to Secrets, but I wasn't counting on it. I suddenly felt loneliness creep in but I stubbornly ignored it.

I'd often wondered about the life of a criminal on the run. Always afraid that someone might recognize you. Never being able to contact loved ones or friends, or create new ones for that matter. It was just beginning with me and already I was feeling lost. I pondered my situation until my head hurt and I was afraid I would use all of Riley's hot water. I shut off the shower and grabbed one of four blue and white-striped towels from the cabinet. I dried off completely and then grimacing, shrugged into the dirty LAPD t- shirt.

I wrapped the moist towel around my waist and exited the bathroom. Riley had her back to me and was talking on the phone, her hand loosely clutching a glass of what looked like water. She had taken off her shoes and was only clad in her work out shorts and top. I was able to admire her back and shoulders for a few moments unnoticed. I was so involved with my ardent perusal that I almost missed her next words.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I'll call you. Okay?"

I was right. I was putting her out by being there. Someone was expecting her. I tried to ignore the heaviness in my chest, but upon failing, I told myself that it was just pure and simple fear of loneliness, nothing as complicated as jealousy. To feel that way now, would be just plain ludicrous.

"Yeeess Brad, I won't forget them." I could tell by her tone that Brad was someone that she cared for a great deal.

"I love you. Bye." I thought about backing into the bathroom but decided that might be more conspicuous than just letting her think I had just come out. I waited for a moment for her to sense that I was standing behind her but she didn't. I would have thought she would have heard me emerge from the bathroom, but undoubtedly she had been so engrossed in her conversation with Brad that she hadn't heard me at all. I almost laughed at myself, situation not withstanding; I wouldn't know what to do with Riley Medeiros even if I had her. That's right folks, I can talk the talk, but I can't walk the walk, and I'll be the first to admit it.

I cleared my throat and after receiving no response I said, "Hi," a bit too loudly.

She jumped, as most people would when complete idiots stand behind them yelling.

"Hi, I didn't hear you. Did you leave some hot water for me in there?" she asked teasingly. I didn't take offense, not that I could have. Based on the clock above her head I realized that I had been in the shower for over an hour.

"Sorry."

"I was just teasing."

I nodded. "I know." I wondered briefly if she would offer up who was on the other end of that loving phone call I had just overheard.

Snap out of it, Everett. Stop acting like you have a license to stick your nose in her business. Embarrassed, I looked around the small room and noted a pair of black nylon basketball shorts, t-shirt that said "Body by Me" and a pair of orange flip-flops. All were laid neatly on the bed which had been made up while I was in the shower.

"Are these for me?" I asked her as I walked over to the bed and looked down at the clothes.

"Yeah," she sat her glass of water down and approached me, a worried frown on her face. "I thought I would wash the clothes that you brought. They were sort of dirty."

I nodded, embarrassed and grateful at the same time.

"You, okay?"

"Yeah… considering." I tried to smile. "Much better after the shower, thank you."

"Welcome."

She continued to stare at me for a moment, as if she wanted to say something else but thought better of it. Instead, she started toward the bathroom.

"I just wanted to thank you for helping me." My God am I talking? I thought, shocked that words were spilling out of my mouth without my knowledge. "I want to repay you if I can, but I need to get myself out of trouble first."

She nodded that she understood and said solemnly, "it was my pleasure."

You know what? People say that all the time. "My pleasure" I mean, but I've never once thought that anyone really meant it. But in this case, I believed her. For whatever reason, Riley Medeiros wanted to help me. I backed away from her until I felt my knees hit the back of the bed and I all but slumped down in exhaustion brought on by relief. It is a trying thing to be alone in the world. And now, thanks to Riley I didn't feel so alone. It was too bad that I couldn't accept what she was offering.

"I'm going to shower now. Will you be here when I come back out?" she asked cautiously.

She thinks I'm going to run off without saying goodbye. I should do us both the favor, I thought cynically. But what I said was, "Yeah, I'll be here."

I decided I would busy myself in the kitchen while Riley took her shower. It was the least I could do to return her kindness. I quickly fed Bud and explained to him that it was a life or death situation and, therefore, I was unable to retrieve his hamster ball. He didn't seem to want to hear my excuses, so I simply fed him a little extra; hell, I'm not opposed to buying love. I washed my hands and opened Riley's refrigerator.

I had to stop myself from gasping out loud as I stared at the disaster area she called a refrigerator. My God. Where was the six-pack of Coke? The gallon of water seemed to laugh at me from its haughty position on the top shelf. I would have accepted Diet Coke even. But just water? Unless she had some Kool-Aid, I was in big trouble. And where was the whole milk for cereal? I looked disdainfully at the bottle of non-fat milk. The water shared its shelf with a blender containing some noxious-looking substance. I decided to move on and opened her deli tray. She didn't even have any Kraft singles or dry salami for goodness sakes. I opened the pristine white drawer at the bottom of her refrigerator marked "vegetables" and I did finally have to gasp at all the green vegetation spilling out of it. I cautiously pulled on a bunch of carrots and held it aloft curiously. It made no sense. She had no ranch dressing to dip them in, what the hell was she going to do with a plain carrot? I looked deeper into the drawer and found four ears of corn, a cucumber, a zucchini, a squash and an eggplant. An eggplant? Who in their right mind buys a purple…anything to put into their mouth? What do you do with an eggplant, anyway? And what was with all the phallic looking veggies? Shaking my head I placed her greenery back into the refrigerator drawer and closed it firmly.

I cautiously looked down at her fruit drawer only halfway believing I would find Fruit Wrinkles candy in it like I kept in mine. Smitty and I had once had an argument about the fact that fruit wrinkles actually did contain real fruit juice. I had pocketed money on that deal. The sad memory made me briefly forget my train of thought but I quickly brought myself back to the present by opening the drawer. Inside Riley had…not Fruit Wrinkles, or even month old yogurt like I had in mine. She had fruit; cantaloupe, strawberries, black berries, and apples…I should say three types of apples to be exact. Don't most people just get the red ones? I always thought the green ones weren't ripe yet. Smacking my lips in disgust, I shut the door to her fridge and opened the freezer.

"Surely she has a package of Jimmy Dean's or something in here." I stared blankly at two large Ziploc bags, one containing chicken breasts and the other containing a red sauce of some sort, a bag of bagels, some steaks and two ice trays. No sausage, no TV dinners, no ground beef and no ice cream. I could deal with the bagels but I hadn't seen any butter or cream cheese so I guessed that was out. My search of the cupboards revealed two boxes of corn flakes, some wheat crackers, and a loaf of whole wheat bread. Underneath the counters I found a rather ancient looking set of pots and pans, some cheap plates and bowls similar to the ones I owned, as well as a practically brand new toaster oven. Improvising like the master chef that I wasn't, I whipped up what I considered to be a decent breakfast …if you had been on rations for several months.

Riley came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, her hair still wet and flowing down her back. She looked refreshed and, well, good enough to eat which is more than I could say for our breakfast. She looked around for a moment before she noticed me sitting at the table. Cold cereal with bananas cut up in it since she didn't seem to have any sugar, and wheat toast with no butter. Okay, well, one pat of soy butter that I found upon a second foray into her fridge, but I was hoping she would let me have it, as I was a guest and all. A half a cantaloupe and a glass of water each. Sounds appetizing huh?

"How'd you know I was starving?" She sat down across from me and picked up her spoon. She looked at my large bowl of cereal and then down at her own before digging in. She chewed for a few minutes, her blue eyes sparkling. I joined her trying hard not to think of the three heaping spoonfuls of sugar that I usually put on my flakes.

"You eat this much for breakfast all the time?" She pointed with her spoon at my half of a cantaloupe, large bowl of cereal and three pieces of dry toast.

I crunched a few more times and swallowed before answering. "More, normally. I didn't want to clear you out. I could see you already needed to get to the grocery store." Her mouth stretched into that seldom seen grin of hers, as she appeared to be struggling not to laugh.

"I just went to the store yesterday morning," she said around her food.

"You're kidding?" I said with a mouth full of flakes. I loved women who talked with their mouths full. It meant I could do the same and not wonder if they thought I had no home training.

"Nope, I went yesterday." She continued to grin as if from some private joke and I just shook my head. Whatever, but it seemed to me she didn't have much by way of a meal anywhere in the place.

"Uh, by the way, can I have this?" I held up the small square of soy butter. She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, but I'm not sure how long I've had it." She said.

"No worries," I said as I eagerly spread the tan substance on my bread. "I've kept butter for months and it didn't kill me when I ate it." I crunched down on my bread and grimaced at the bland taste before taking another large bite.

I looked up to see my large companion shaking in her seat. I stopped chewing for a moment before I realized that I was being laughed at. I simply shrugged, because my eating habits had always been of interest to everyone in the greater metropolitan area. I had a stomach like a cast iron skillet. Nothing ever gave me a tummy ache and I never gained weight. You would think it would be a blessing, but I received a lot of ribbing about it. My father used to say that people were just jealous because I could eat whatever I wanted. My stepmother said when I got older I would pay for it with love handles and a fat ass. I didn't much care either way. I liked to eat. End of conversation.

I was just about to ask Riley what she was snickering about when a loud noise caused me to jump to my feet.

"What the hell is that? It sounds like a fucking jackhammer?"

"Oh sorry." She walked into the kitchen and picked up her phone.

"Hello?" I continued to eat my food trying not to look like I was eavesdropping, even though that was definitely what I was doing. She listened for a moment and then she slapped herself in the forehead. "Oh no, I forgot…yeah she's here. You want to talk to her?"

Riley handed me the phone and in answer to my raised eyebrow, she mouthed that it was Stacy. Taking a deep breath I put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Foster, are you okay?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Yeah I'm fine, Stacy…thank you for sending Riley out for me."

She chuckled. "I didn't exactly send her, hun. I told her what I heard and she was out the door before I had finished my sentence." I looked over at the large woman who was tapping at Bud's condo with the tip of her nail and making little clicking noises.

"Oh, well…I still want to thank you."

"I'm just glad I could help. Look, I won't ask you what's going on but I just want to tell you that I talked to Marcus about fifteen minutes ago. He said they ransacked your desk in the file room, they took your computer and pretty much anything and everything you had had your hands on in the last few days. Apparently, whatever they are accusing you of, they're keeping it pretty hush-hush for now.

"Have they traced me to Secrets?" I asked fearfully.

"No, not yet. And if they do, they won't get shit out of me or anyone else in this place."

"Stacy, what about Riley? Did Marcus say that they knew about Riley?"

"Nah, he said that the story he got was two cops went to go pick you up at your apartment last night and were jumped from behind by two men in ski masks."

I grinned. "Score one for the large male ego. Listen, I'm not sure where I'll be, but I'll try to call you at the bar to see if you've heard anything else, all right?"

"Yeah, okay. Foster, you and Riley take care of yourselves, okay? You got people here that care about you." My heart warmed at her words. So much so that I didn't think to correct her assumption that I would be with Riley much longer. I said goodbye to Stacy and handed the phone back to its waiting owner. She pressed it to her ear and listened.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. We will. Bye, Stacy." Riley closed her phone with a sigh and put it in her back pocket. "I'm going to miss her."

"What? Why? Riley, I'm going to get out of your hair here pretty soon and you can go back to the club. I don't think those two idiots will put two and two together." Much to my chagrin I was already starting to have a negative impact on her life.

"No, it's too risky. I don't want to bring any trouble to Secrets. Besides I was only there as long as I was because I wanted to talk to you."

"To me? What for?"

"I needed to explain about the picture and the other stuff. I wanted you to know that I wasn't involved with whoever was out to hurt you."

It was on the tip of my tongue to question her motives, but I stopped myself. What's that saying about a gift horse? Currently, Riley was my gift horse, my tether to reality, as it were. I didn't want to piss her off until I could stand on my own two feet. And currently that wasn't possible when wearing neon orange flip-flops, shorts and a shirt both of which were three sizes too big. If I'd had my wallet I could have easily grabbed some money out of my savings, I had enough to get me through a few months easily. But as things stood I was penniless.

"Riley, I need to run a few errands. May I borrow your car?"

"Foster…you can't go out there, especially not in broad daylight. Every cop in the area is probably out looking for you. They would pick you up in an hour, tops."

"Stacy said they were keeping it hush-hush."

"Do you really want to take the risk?"

She was right. I sighed and slumped down in my chair. I would have to ask her for help one last time and then I would exit her life for good.

"Riley, would you drive me somewhere please? It won't take a minute but I need to call in an old favor."

She nodded gravely. "Let me put on some shoes and we can go. You think you're going to be warm enough in that?"

"Yeah, I think so," I looked down at my bare legs and feet. "Thanks for the flip-flops by the way, I'm surprised they fit." Okay, I know I really shouldn't snoop but I couldn't help it. I wear a size 6 and a half shoe and just from looking at Riley's foot I would have guessed she wore a size eight and a half, if not larger.

"I know, wasn't it a fluke that I kept those?" She said over her shoulder as she squatted near her bed and pulled out her black Docs. "Somehow they got put in my bag at the grocery store and I kept forgetting to take them back."

Damn, that shot that idea to hell. I was hoping to get some personal information out of Riley with that observation, but instead I was left empty handed. Pissed me off. "So why didn't you throw them away then?"

"Because they weren't mine?" She looked at me curiously for a moment and then continued lacing up her boot. "I would give them to charity before I threw them out."

Of course she would give them to charity. You should have known that, I mentally berated myself. "Ready?"

"Ready." She stood up and led the way to the door. "You going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope, not till we get there."

"Why?"

"Because it's better that way. I don't want to freak you out."

"Takes a lot to freak me out, Foster," she said quietly as she closed the door to the theater and walked toward her car. Indeed she had appeared calm and had simply rolled with the punches through this whole ordeal. In fact, I think I was more hysterical than she was but, then again, I was the one that was wanted. She let me in the car first and I unlocked her door so that she could get in.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." For some reason the fact that I unlocked her door got me a smile, so I filed that away in the back of my head. If I somehow got out of this, and if I was ever lucky enough to spend more time with Riley Medeiros, I would make sure that I unlocked her door all the time.

"We're going to the East Side." She started the car and steered us through the mostly uninhabited streets that surrounded the theater and onto the main road leading to the east end of town.

I gave her instructions while slumping down in my seat. Pollard's Billiards was a local hang out for every street thug in east LA. It has been illegal to smoke in public establishments in California since '98, but Pollard's smoky atmosphere guised any number of crimes; however, no cases had ever been successfully tried on the owners or any of its inhabitants. It got to the point that after a while the police just turned a blind eye to the goings on as long as it didn't get too messy. It had been a beneficial arrangement for years. The cops didn't look dumb for trying to pursue them and failing, and the patrons of Pollard's basically had a safe heaven.

Riley pulled into a parking spot in the back of the billiard hall. "I should only be a minute," I said as I exited the vehicle.

I stepped out into the parking lot cursing myself at not having just worn my dirty clothes and started toward Pollard's. I had only taken two steps when I realized that I had company. I glanced to my left to see a very determined looking Riley. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going with you," she said.

"No, you can't. I told you, I'll be right back."

"I know what you said, but I'm going with you."

"No. Listen, Riley, the guy I need to talk to won't be too happy about me bringing a stranger into this place."

"That's too bad then, isn't it?" She folded he arms in front of her chest with a determined look on her face. The set of her shoulders made it quite clear that she was going in with me and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Alright, but don't say anything, okay?" She made a face at me but nodded.

Once again I thought of how formidable a woman she was. She seemed to wear her ferocity like a cloak that she only put on when it was deemed necessary. Deep down I sensed it wasn't a guise she enjoyed wearing and given half the chance, she would toss it off and let the caring person that I was getting to know out. I found the whole thing intriguing.

"Well what the hell is this here?"

I sighed. We hadn't even taken two steps into the place and we had some wannabe homeboy in our faces. I could feel Riley start to stiffen. Homeboy seemed to sense what I did and figured he would do well to back away before he was mauled to death. I was suddenly grateful for Riley's intimidating presence.

"Where's Big Sherm?" I slammed my teeth down over my tongue as soon as the words left my mouth. In my own stupidity and eagerness I had just given any fool in the place looking to make a name for himself a way to get it and fast. Kill whoever was looking for the Big S and you no doubt would be riding sky high off the gratitude. My question was initially greeted with the loud cracking of a cue ball knocking into the black eight ball. No one said a word as the guy who hit the shot scratched on the last ball and forfeited the whole game.

"You got a lot of nerve coming up in here, girl." Homeboy and one of his friends seemed to have gotten themselves some nerves all of a sudden. Probably delusions of grandeur, or some such shit. The friend, who stood about two feet taller than me, actually cracked his knuckles like some bad mafia movie. While Homeboy, who was apparently too chickenshit to fight fist to fist against a couple of girls, was smart enough to pick up a pool stick.

I rolled my eyes and readied myself for a fight. I thought about kicking off my orange flip-flops, but the idea of stepping on the nasty floor in this place was incredibly unappealing. So instead, I braced myself for a fight.

I needn't have bothered to waste the energy. Homeboy's little friend was the unfortunate one that reached us first. I had barely began to tense for action when I saw Riley's fist pulling back just out of my line of vision and Homeboy's friend falling backward, already unconscious before he hit the floor. Not a word was spoken as everyone in the place looked down at the crumpled figure and back up to Homeboy. It was all I could do not to look back at Riley in amazement. She hit the guy square in the forehead. That had to hurt, but she hadn't uttered a sound and was quietly standing next to me as if it had been like swatting a fly.

"As I was saying, where's Big Sherm?"

"Uh, he in the back," Homeboy supplied and I smiled sweetly at him. He should have probably started running then because after we left, he would no doubt get the shit kicked out of him for having a big mouth.

The Big part in Big Sherm's name derived from the fact that he was well over three hundred pounds. His real name was Dexter Wilmington. I figured the Sherm part was some drug related nickname but I never cared enough to ask. The back room looked as if it was used for illegal casino games. It wasn't so much the smell of stale smoke and old liquor that convinced me of the fact …but rather the huge roulette wheel embedded at the far end of the table.

Every time I saw Sherm he had a new hairstyle. He had apparently cut off the rather unattractive ponytail and his hair was now short and brushed to the point that it waved like ripples in a stream. He had trimmed his side burns so that they connected with his beard and I thought the effect was quite intimidating. Much more so than a bushy, chemically processed ponytail.

"Hey, Sherm."

"Shh shhh, hold on, let me see this here." Sherm stared mesmerized at the nine inch TV on the poker table as if it was a window. I looked at Riley questioningly. She shook her head as we both waited, shifting from side to side, as two women went at each other in a blatant rip-off of Dynasty. We heard "…so are the days of our lives" blare from the too loud TV.

"Whew, that was a good one." Sherm sat back in his chair with a smile on his face, still staring at the TV with wistful adoration.

"Sherm, it's Foster Everett. Remember me?"

Sherm finally tore his eyes from the TV and turned to me as he picked up a cheap blue Bic pen and wobbled it side to side in his fingers. I swallowed the bile in my throat and refused to let my top lip rise. If we were fast and lucky, Riley and I could get out of the room with our breakfasts still in our stomachs.

"I know who you are, Foster Everett!" he said angrily before he broke out in a fit of coughing. I watched, trying to keep the look of disgust from my face, as he spat into a tissue and placed it in his shirt pocket.

"Um, Sherm, listen. I need your help."

"Why should I help you, Everett? Not like you ever did shit for me. And who the hell is this big motherfucker you brought up in here, anyway?" Sherm looked Riley up and down as if he were checking her out. I knew different.

I hated to do this but he did owe me and I needed all the help I could get. "Sherm, now don't make me do this 'cause you know I will."

He glowered at me, and I watched in dismay as he pulled the little blue top from his pen and held it in his hand. The pen dropped to the table already forgotten. He seemed to be deep in thought and I was hoping that we would luck out and escape without witnessing the disgusting exhibition.

"What do you want, Everett?"

"I need a gun. Make that two guns." The stiffening of Riley's body was barely perceptible but I felt it and I understood. She didn't like guns and she thought the second one was for her. I almost smiled. She really intended on sticking this out with me.

I was so worried about Riley that I almost missed the beginning of Sherm's nauseating display. I had been privy to it on the two other occasions that I found myself in his presence. I had always walked away feeling dirty.

Sherm had the habit of sticking things in his ear. Namely pen caps. You know that part of cap that is meant to hook onto the pocket of your shirt? He would scrap it around in his ear like most people used Q-Tips. That however, was not the most disgusting part. I watched horrified as the tip of his little pink tongue appeared between his lips once, twice, three times before it disappeared into his mouth. I couldn't help but stare as his eyes closed and his foot began to tap on the floor in unconscious pleasure. This disgusting display went on for what was probably only about fifteen seconds but felt close to a millennia.

Before I met Sherm I used to chew on the end of my pens when I was thinking. Not anymore. I dared not look at Riley for fear I would be unable to school my face back into its mask of disinterest.

"Clovis," Sherm yelled and almost instantly a boy of about fourteen came running into the room. "Bring me my case." Clovis was back in seconds with a large brown case and a key. He handed the key to Sherm and disappeared.

Sherm put the pen top on the table and I steadfastly refused to look at it, afraid of what might be stuck to the end.

Sherm opened the case and folded the sides down. The case had leather and red felt throughout and an assortment of handguns all expertly cleaned and displayed, probably thanks to Clovis.

I walked closer to the table and made my selections, two chrome 9 mm semi-automatics, similar to the one that I'd left back at my apartment. I also grabbed two ten-round clips to go along with each and decided to push my luck by grabbing the nylon, rear double belt holsters that went along with them. Sherm looked at me sharply but didn't say a word as I stood there admiring my two new friends. I held the Glock 19's out in front of me, easing them both one way, and then the other, as I checked both dust covers for cracks. The 17's that I'd used in the past were larger and heavier; these felt just right.

"They're new. No cracks." Sherm sounded as if I had insulted him by inspecting the guns. "I don't want to see you again, Everett."

"Don't worry, Sherm. The feeling is mutual." I was getting bold because I had my guns, but I knew better than to push it.

"Bye, Sherm." He didn't respond and Riley and I left the smoky poolroom unmolested.

Riley clumsily unlocked the door for me, walked around to the driver's side, and climbed into the car.

"Holy…" she breathed. I looked over at her sharply. Her body had that tremor that it had had at my place when she had dispatched the two detectives trying to arrest me.

"You okay?" I asked concern making my voice gruff.

"Yeah. What do you have on him, anyway?"

"Just information. When I was working the streets, I picked him up for indecent exposure. I caught him having sex in the back seat of his car."

"He doesn't seem the type that would care."

"Hmm, don't know," I answered. "But how many of those boys do you think would do his dirty work if they knew that his partner was a man?" I watched for any reaction from Riley but didn't get any aside from a nod, so I turned away from her slightly disappointed. "Anyway, I wouldn't have really told anyone, I just wanted him to think I would."

"Foster?"

"Yeah?"

"How good are you at setting bones?"

"I don't know, why?" I turned and noticed for the first time that she had a few beads of perspiration on the side of her face.

"I think I broke my hand."

"Son of a bitch!"

I was angry. So angry in fact, that I went through the entire process of wrapping Riley's hand without saying a word. Occasionally, I would look down at her, but Riley was staring trancelike at the floor. So I continued with my ministrations in a fuming silence. I finished wrapping the ace bandage and stepped away.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she stood up and walked into the kitchen.

I was afraid to open my mouth for fear a Tourette's like stream of obscenities would come flowing out. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I couldn't remember having been this angry outside of work. It didn't feel good. My temper was what got me into this trouble in the first place.

"You're mad, huh?" I watched as Riley struggled to pour herself a glass of water.

I walked over and took the pitcher from her hand and finished pouring it for her. I handed her the glass of water but she didn't drink it. She just stood there like a child waiting to be scolded. I opened my mouth to tell her that that was the stupidest thing that she could have done, but I didn't. Something stopped me. Body language can often tell you a lot about a person.

Right then, as I watched Riley, I could tell that she expected to be yelled at. Her shoulders were slumped and she wouldn't look at me. Why she would give a shit if I was mad at her was beyond me.

"Yes, I'm mad." I was proud of myself. I actually didn't sound mad at all, I sounded serious, but not like a raging lunatic, which was my usual reaction.

Riley nodded her head and took a sip of her water before sitting the glass down on the counter. I watched as she, evidently out of habit, tried to stick her hands in her front pockets. She only got the fingertips of her right hand in before the pain reminded her that she wouldn't be indulging in that particular habit for a good long time.

She leaned back against the refrigerator and finally we did look at each other. Her eyes were tentative, while mine were probably just a little bit stern. All of the anger left me as I looked at her, I mean really looked at her. It's not that I hadn't noticed her before mind you. Certainly I had admired her body in a totally detached sort of way. I had never known anyone that put so much into their body. I thought it was amazing. Her body not withstanding, she was also a very attractive woman. But there was something about her that I had missed in my last two perusals.

As she leaned back against the refrigerator, nervously looking to the side as if she were about to get a serious scolding, her t-shirt rode up and out of her unbelted jeans. Her waistband was too big. She had probably bought the jeans because they fit her comfortably everywhere else, but her waist was too small to fit them. I stared at her sculpted stomach for a moment before my eyes, of their own accord, followed a path down her body and then back up again. I don't know why I had the impression of her being big because she really wasn't. In point of fact, I had seen larger women down at Muscle Beach. There was something about the way Riley held herself, along with the muscles, that gave off the appearance of danger. Right now she looked like she was afraid that she was going to be put on restriction. I found the whole thing to be… rather attractive.

"I'm sorry," she said softly causing my heart to beat painfully in my chest. I had taken one step toward her before I thought to stop myself. I want to hold her so badly floated through my brain before I could stop it. I froze inches away from her.

"It's okay." Was what I croaked out before I swallowed and repeated. "It's okay, Riley. I just wish you hadn't gotten hurt." She held up her hand.

"It'll be fine."

"You need to go to the hospital."

"No, I don't think so."

"I do."

"Foster, it feels better already," she said and nervously pushed her left hand in her pocket before shifting her feet and taking it back out again.

"Let's go," I told her sternly.

"No need. I'll be fine."

"Let's go, Riley. You need to have that looked at."

"Foster…" I turned away from her already searching for the car keys. "Will you leave?"

I looked at her for a minute. I knew what she was asking me and in truth I had been thinking the very same thing. "Yes," I answered truthfully.

She nodded her head. "I thought you would be gone when I got back."

I suddenly felt like the biggest asshole. "I was going to take you to the hospital first. I can't let you drive yourself. I'm going with you."

"What if someone sees you?" She shook her head sadly. "I can't let you go with me."

"Do you have a cap and some sunglasses that I could wear?" She nodded. " Give me one of your largest shirts too, that should throw people off enough so that we can get that x-rayed."

Riley shook her head negatively and I could see that she was going to make things difficult, so I compromised. "Okay, how about this? How about I drop you off in emergency and drive around until you come back out?"

She seemed to ponder that, and then nodded her head. "That should work." She went to her drawer beneath the bed an opened it with her left hand.

"Nothing too girly," I said gently, trying to break the tension, but she was so focused on her task that she didn't appear to hear me. She finally pulled out a plain gray hooded sweatshirt triumphantly.

"How about this? You could put the hat over it and no one would even know you were a female." I grinned at her sudden burst of enthusiasm.

"Yeah, but any self respecting cop would take a second look at a person wearing a hood under a cap and sunglasses. That only worked for the Unabomber."

"Oh."

"It's okay, come on. I can keep a low profile when I want to."

We walked out to the car and I looked at her from over my glasses. "Um, Riley, I need to get a few things at the store. You think I could borrow some money? I'll…" Who was I kidding? I probably wouldn't be able to pay her back any time soon. It was better not to make any promises I couldn't keep.

"Oh yeah, sure. Hang on." I watched as she contorted a few times and tried to reach into her back pocket…unsuccessfully.

"Can I help, Riley?"

"Yeah. I have money in my right back pocket. I shoved it back there when I was at the store and forgot to take it out." She seemed embarrassed so I vowed to make it as quick and painless as possible. She really was very cute.

I nonchalantly stuck my hand into her back pocket and felt around for her money before pulling several bills out. I tried not to think, but my mind was not working properly and did so anyway. Her ass was not rock hard by any means. Firm, oh hell yes. But rock hard, no way. I would love to cuddle…

What the hell is wrong with me? I stopped my meandering, lecherous thoughts. At that very moment Riley was standing there, no doubt in pain, and I got my hand shoved down her back pocket copping a cheap feel.

"Here you go." I tried to hand the money to her so that she could give me a twenty but she shook her head.

"No you take it with you and use what you need. I doubt I'll need any at the hospital."

I nodded and peeled off a ten. "Here at least take this in case you want to get a water while you wait. I know how much you like that shit."

"You're going to have to put it back for me."

"Oh, ok." I quickly pushed the money into her pocket. Without waiting for her reaction, I opened the door with her keys. Once she was settled inside, I closed the door and walked around to the driver's side, which she had somehow managed to unlock for me, hurt hand and all.

"Thanks." Now I was the one grinning. It actually did give me a thrill that she would open my door for me.

"Welcome."

We got to the hospital without incident. I told her that I would come back in an hour or so and circle around the parking lot until I saw her. She nodded and I could tell that she wasn't too happy about going into the hospital alone.

"You don't like hospitals?" I had assumed that as a therapist she would more than likely have to work in a hospital.

She shook her head. "The last time I was in one someone I care about very much was badly hurt. I hate thinking about it."

"I want…I wish I could go in with you," I said with a lame hitch in my voice.

Her face was somber as she murmured. " I do too."

She got out of the car and walked into the hospital. As I watched her go, I wished that I had put the ten in her left front pocket. If some nurse offered to help her out, I would have to….

You would have to what, Foster Everett? I looked at myself in the rear view mirror as a thought flashed through my head so foreign that I had to push it away before I could even give it a name. No there was no way I could let Riley get hurt. I cared about her…as a friend and I didn't want to see her get into any trouble over this. A loud honk from a hospital shuttle bus is what broke me from my morose thoughts. I drove the car to a drug store that I didn't normally frequent and went inside to make my purchases. The clerk barely even looked at me as she rang up my hair color. I also purchased a smaller pair of sunglasses, a few toiletries and a cheap gym bag. It would have to do.

I had some time to kill so I drove to a small park that wasn't usually frequented by cops and tried to relax. I felt panic well up in my chest and pushed it away. I could not allow myself to succumb to panic. If I did, I would start making mistakes. I needed to think rationally. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I began to take a mental inventory of my needs.

Money would be my first priority. I couldn't ask Riley, I had already asked for too much. No, I would have to call Stacy and ask to borrow a few bucks. Perhaps she could meet me somewhere. Deciding that was the best course of action, I began to relax. A small round Wonder Woman clock that was attached to Riley's dashboard caused me to smile. I remembered being ten years old and lusting after a similar one that came out of a friend's Cracker Jack box. I started the car and tried to ignore the happy little skip that my heart did as I nosed the vehicle back toward the hospital. I was so deep in thought that I almost didn't see the flashing lights of a fast approaching squad car in my rear view mirror.

"Shit," I breathed through my teeth and pulled the car slowly over to the right. I almost asphyxiated on the spot as I watched the squad car fly right by me. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and fought down the urge to hurl up my cornflakes. I rested my moist forehead on my hands for a minute to catch my breath.

"I need to get out of this town," I said to myself as I wrestled the car into drive.

"First things first." I drove to the main entrance of the hospital and only had to circle once before Riley quickly exited the hospital, her arm encased in a bright pink florescent cast up to her elbow.

"You okay?" I asked her as she got into the car without saying a word.

"Yeah," she bit out.

"What's wrong?" I asked her gently.

"Can you just drive, please?"

I was inexplicably hurt by Riley's attitude. I tensed my jaw and gripped the steering wheel as I became angry. Yeah well screw you too, Riley Medeiros. Who told you to hit that guy in the head anyway? "Sure, I'll have you home in a jiff."

What kind of shit is that? Anyone else and I would have spoken my thoughts and told them where to get off, but with her I find myself curbing my tongue.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No worries," I told her shortly, but my hands did relax on the steering wheel as I waited to see if she would offer up an explanation.

"Did you see the cast?"

"Yeah, so it's broken huh?"

"No. Couple of dislocated knuckles." There was a pregnant pause then she continued. "I meant did you see the color?"

I glanced at her quickly and then back at the road. "Yeah, I did… rather loud isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Um, why didn't they just give you a white one?"

"I don't know," She answered shortly. "I think they thought it would be funny."

"Okay," I was angry again, not at her but at the assholes back at the hospital. "What makes you say that?" I asked her carefully.

"Because of the way that they were looking at me when I walked in. The two nurses I mean. And I saw what they said to each other through the window when the doctor told one of them to get the stuff for my cast."

"What do you mean you saw what they said?"

She seemed to think for a minute before she continued. "I can read lips… a little."

"Oh," I said but I was thinking that it was a strange admission for her to make. "What did they say?

Riley sighed and looked out of her window. "I would rather not talk about it, if that's okay?"

"Sure, that's fine." I told her all the time thinking if my ass weren't in so much trouble I would go back to the hospital and hurt somebody…bad.

Back at the theater, I had to skip to catch with Riley. I silently followed her through the hall and down the stairs to her living quarters. "That must hurt, huh?"

"Yeah, I have some painkillers here. I'll just take a couple."

For the first time I noticed how pale her face was. "Ahhh shit, Riley. Sit down. Let me get you some water." She nodded meekly and I brought her the water, which she promptly used to wash down the two white pills.

"I think I'm going to take a nap, okay?" She stood and I had to reach out a hand to steady her. Instantly, the almost forgotten night of the kiss flooded back to me. The way she'd held me had made me feel, well special. The way her mouth had quivered tentatively beneath mine was one of the most erotic things I had ever felt. The alter ego of course had to pipe up and dash these thoughts to hell. Of course she was tentative you idiot. She's straight and some lesbo had just come up and latched onto her lips like a damn suckerfish.

I suddenly realized why she had stood up. "Riley there is no way you're sleeping on the floor."

"Why not, there's a mat in there. I've slept in worse places."

"I don't care. This is your place. You should sleep in the bed. Besides, I'll be leaving soon anyway." Riley had already steadied herself and was headed toward the weight room. "Look I can sleep in there, okay?"

"No, I'm not having you sleep on those mats. I wipe them down after each work out but still, I sweat a lot."

Hell yeah she does, I thought lecherously. My god I'm turning into a horn dog. Well that's good. Maybe when they finally catch my ass, prison wont be so bad. No problem finding a quickie in there, especially after they find out I used to be a cop. I watched Riley get herself another glass of water, this time managing to hold the glass somewhat steadily.

"I wish you would let me do that, Riley."

"I got it. I'm going to have to get it for myself after you leave anyway, right?" she said cynically.

"Um, yeah I guess so." I have to admit I was a bit shocked. Riley had never been anything but sweet with me. I had assumed that it was just her personality.

"Uh, look Riley, I can try to stick around here a bit longer if you need me."

"No, I'll be fine, you should go."

I tried to ignore the pain in my chest as she said those words. I thought for sure that we were at least friends, but perhaps I was more trouble than I was worth. I had caused her to get into fights, led her to possible trouble with the law, and I hadn't even given her the benefit of knowing the truth. I stared at her distant blue eyes and waited for the pain in my chest to fade but it didn't. I felt sure that it would disappear and allow me to make believe that it was heart burn, but instead it steeled itself there and increased the longer my unbroken gaze lasted with Riley. Finally I had to turn away.

"Your jeans are laying over my computer chair."

"Thank you." I can't believe she is kicking me out. Why not you fool? Look what you've done to her.

"There's more money in that drawer next to the bed. Take it all."

"I can't take your money, Riley."

"I want you to. I don't want to risk the drive home until this hand heals a little. I want you to have it. It isn't much but it should help."

"But what about when you need to? Go home I mean, you won't have the money."

"I'm sure I can get back on with Stacy for a few weeks. The cast would probably help rather than hurt."

I didn't reply because there wasn't much more that I could say.

"Will you still be here when I wake up?" she asked quietly.

I didn't know what she wanted me to say. What the right answer to that question was. So I shook my head. "No."

Her blue eyes searched my face for a moment and then she nodded and turned away. She walked into the weight room and shut the door quietly behind her. Then there was nothing but complete silence. I gathered my now clean clothes and stuffed what I wouldn't be wearing into my cheap nylon bag. I folded the shorts up neatly and placed them on her bed. The guns and gun belt I strapped on and pulled Riley's sweatshirt over them. I had the vague sense that I should be feeling something, anything other than the cold that cascaded over me when I thought of leaving this place and leaving her. Well I guess I better get over that, huh? She all but showed me the door. I went over to Bud's condo and looked at him sadly for a minute. Riley had put a toilet paper roll inside and Bud was peering at me suspiciously from inside.

"Don't worry. As much as I want to I'm not going to squeeze in there with you. I don't think I can take you with me, Bud. It would be too hard on both of us. I'm going to have to leave you here with Riley. She'll take care of you. I'm sure of it. She'll probably feed you good food and make sure you're healthy and shit." I put Riley's change in the drawer with the money that she had told me to take. I kept two quarters so that I could call Stacy, but I wouldn't take her money. I just couldn't bring myself to do that.

I shut the door and walked up the stairs to the theater. There were so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't decipher them. Why had her attitude changed so drastically? Had I said something wrong to her? I sat down in one of the ancient theater chairs and leaned back in the semi-darkness. I pretended that there weren't tears trailing down my face and that I didn't feel so drained. Maybe she was just tired of all the drama that went along with being my friend.

"My friend?" I murmured to myself.

She was my friend and she was hurting and I had left her alone because…because I had never been good at being there for anyone. I never even knew that Smitty was having problems. I should have seen that and I didn't.

I left my bag sitting on the burgundy-carpeted floor and made my way back down to Riley's place. With a deep breath, I opened the door to find Riley standing with her back to me, looking into Bud's cage. I touched her shoulder.

Without turning around she said. "You forgot Bud."

"No, I didn't. I thought you might be able to take better care of him than I could."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" I could tell she was cradling her hand close to her body and I wondered if it was hurting her. I gently squeezed both shoulders and she finally turned around. She looks so sad. "What for, Riley?" I repeated.

"For being so rude to you."

"You weren't rude."

"I thought you had left."

"I did. Well I got as far as the front row of the theater, but then I got lonely."

"Came back for Bud?"

"No," I swallowed. Fuck it. What do I have to lose? "I came back for you."

I finally got Riley into bed. And, it's not like you're thinking. I sat beside her while she lay down, and for two hours told her everything about the murder. I didn't hold back anything and tried to be brutally honest. I wanted her to know what she was getting herself into. And though she appeared to be shocked, I could tell by her face that I had confirmed some things that she had already guessed.

"Thank you for telling me."

"That's all you're going to say?" I asked with a weak smile.

"You think I should say more? For what?" I shrugged and shook my head. "To make you feel worse? Better? Is there anything I could say?"

"No, I guess not." She was right. What could she say? That I shouldn't have done it? That I had fucked up my life? I already knew all that.

"Do you think those two men from your apartment are the ones who jumped you that night?"

"No, the voices were different. That could have been a regular run of the mill mugging. Or hell some kind of revenge for someone I had arrested in the past." Even as I said it, I knew deep down that it was all somehow connected. I just couldn't pinpoint how.

Riley nodded. "What about that bag with your prints?"

I shrugged. "There isn't much I can do about that. It's not like I can go walking up to the Captain and go 'hey, I did kill that guy but I didn't touch any plastic bag'."

I tried to sound light-hearted but deep down I was still waiting for Riley to tell me to get out of her life.

"Will the boy be okay?" she asked after a brief pause.

"I don't know, Riley. His mother is going to probably need to get them both help."

"What about you, Foster?"

"What about me?" I looked down into her tired, slumping eyes.

"Did you talk to someone?"

"Are you talking about what happened to the kid?"

She nodded. "All of it."

I opened my mouth to tell her that I had seen worse. That the whole thing had rolled off my back like water. But innocence is a powerful thing and when I looked down into Riley's blue eyes I couldn't lie to her. "I'm talking to you aren't I?" I asked only half jokingly.

She seemed to study my face for a moment then said somberly. "Yeah, you are."

"You should get some sleep."

"I don't really want to." I smiled at her. She looked like a stubborn child who had just been told that it was her bedtime. I only wish I had told her a fairy tale and not something that could cause her nightmares. "You're not going to leave, are you?" she asked.

"No. No, I'm not going to leave. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay…I'm sorry…the pills…."

"I know, but maybe you need the rest." Riley was asleep before I had even finished my sentence. She even slept like an innocent; on her back, mouth slightly open and body splayed out like she hadn't a care in the world. I slept like a criminal. Balled into a fetal position with one hand under my pillow where my gun was usually hidden. She deserved better than I could give her. I got up quickly from my position on the bed and walked into the small kitchen. I suddenly felt the need to put a little distance between Riley and myself. I sat down at her breakfast table with my hands on my forehead, my legs stretched out in front of me. I tried to figure out what my next move would be.

Deep in the recesses of my mind, something told me that I should go. That if I really cared for Riley I would go so she could be safe. I watched her smooth, even breathing from my place at her little breakfast table for what seemed like forever. Under my gaze, her white t-shirt slowly rode up over the exquisitely sculpted, tanned muscles of her tummy. It made me feel excruciatingly sad. Sad because I knew, with a certainty that I could not explain, that Riley Medeiros would be hurt when I finally did leave. I stared at that tummy and I felt an overpowering urge to protect her. I stood and walked over to her, half expecting her to awaken, but she didn't, she continued to breathe evenly. I reached down and lifted her t-shirt, pulling it down over her stomach. I resisted the urge to kiss her forehead and went back to my place at her kitchen table where I would watch over her while she slept.

At some point, I must have rested my head on my arms and fallen asleep. I was jerked rudely awake by an unfamiliar sound. Out of habit, my hand went to the back of my waist where I wore my guns, as I looked around frantically for trouble. I ignored the residual pain of my ribs as my fingers wrapped around the handle of my gun. The sound was repeated and I realized that Riley's cell phone was the culprit.

I relaxed and glanced over at the bed. Riley still lay as I had left her and appeared undisturbed by the phone. Knowing how important the phone calls were to her, I picked it up to take to her.

I had the best intentions, but I'm nosey as hell and caller ID is a fine feature until someone else wants to be in your business. So, as I walked towards Riley, I nonchalantly but purposely took a peek at the number. I'm not sure what I was expecting to see but it wasn't the number to Secrets.

I flipped the phone open quickly so that Riley's voice mail wouldn't pick up. "Hello?"

"Hello, Riley?" I recognized Stacy's worried voice.

"Stacy? No, it's Foster."

"Oh good. Foster listen, I just got a call from Marcus. He wants you to call him as soon as you can. He didn't sound too happy about something. Also, not ten minutes ago I was visited by a couple of detectives asking about you. I didn't tell them much, just that I had seen you here a few times and that was it."

"Did they seem like they bought that?"

"Yeah, I think they did, but I can't be sure."

"Did they ask about Riley?" I asked pensively as I turned to look at her unmoving form.

"No, thank God. I don't think they know about her yet. I'm afraid to go through the club and tell everyone to keep their traps shut. The regulars will without me saying anything but you know you can never tell who is going to be in here on any given night."

"I understand, Stacy," I said absently.

"Listen, don't forget to call Marcus. He sounded excited about something."

"You have his number? I don't know it by heart."

"Yeah, hang on." She was back in a second and read off the numbers, which I wrote down on a paper towel from the kitchen.

"Stacy, thank you and if you don't mind, keep Riley posted. Okay?"

"You guys going to stick together?" I couldn't tell if she thought it was a good idea or not, in truth I didn't know either.

"I'm not sure, but no matter what, she'll probably be the best way to get in touch with me in the future."

"Okay," She seemed to accept that as a given. I, however, was shocked at how much trust I was giving to Riley. It was strange because Riley and I didn't know each other that well. It probably had something to do with her willingness to risk her safety for me I decided as I said a quick goodbye to Stacy and dialed Marcus' number. He answered on the third ring and his hello was breathless as if he had to run up two flights of stairs to get to the phone.

"Hey, Marcus."

"Oh good God, Foster, is that you?" he whispered.

"Uh yeah, it's me ...is there someone there?"

"Oh, no… sorry… I uh, I guess I got a little excited." I chuckled. "How're you doing?"

"I'm okay I guess, considering. Stacy said that you needed to talk to me?"

"Yeah, listen I've been doing a little research of my own."

"Ah Marcus, damn. You can't be snooping around in shit, okay? I don't want them putting any of my mess on you."

"They don't even know we're friends. Besides, I'm being careful. I know how to erase my tracks. Remember, I'm the only one with the file maintenance codes for the databases. "

I sat down at the table and rubbed my forehead. I was starting to get a migraine. First they were questioning Stacy and now Marcus wanted to play Hardy Boy, which would probably get us all in a lot more trouble than any of us was ready for.

"Marcus, I appreciate what you're doing," I said with my head still in the palm of my hand. "I really do. But there are some things you don't understand." I didn't want to tell him more without admitting my guilt over the damn phone, but I was worried. First Riley, then Stacy and Marcus were bending over backwards to keep me safe; harboring a criminal is a crime in any state and punishable with jail time.

"I understand what you're saying and I'll cool it. But can you listen to this first?"

"Okay Marcus, what do you have?"

"I was just trying to find out why they were after you."

"All right," I urged him to continue as out of the corner of my eye I saw Riley stir in her sleep.

"Like I said it's the weirdest thing, but they are keeping everything really hush-hush.

I mean so much so that no one here really knows what's going on. Most people at division think you went ballistic over Smitty's death and the Captain made you take some time off."

I frowned at that. A "cop gone bad" is usually the only topic of conversation, especially if that cop is from your very own precinct.

"So, I went to the files to see if there was an arrest warrant issued. You know since Stacy'd said they showed up at your house to pick you up. And there is one but get this, it's issued by a Judge O'Malley the day after they tried to pick you up."

"O'Malley, O'Malley… why does that name sound familiar?" It took me a minute to remember that Judge O'Malley was the one who had issued the warrant to arrest Canniff. He was also a friend of the Captain's. She's probably sitting in her office salivating like Pavlov's dog at the prospect of nailing my ass. "I can't believe those two trolls didn't bother to get the arrest warrant when they came to pick me up."

It wasn't the first time that the police had gotten too anxious and tried to pick up someone without a warrant, but it did surprise me that they would do that with me. I would no doubt have asked to see their warrant unless… unless they had no intention of taking me in.

How my thoughts got from point "A" to point "B" is beyond me. But it did occur to me that one of them had mentioned that he wanted to get home in a hurry. Bringing me in and booking me properly would probably mean hours of paperwork and it was already late when they came to my door.

"That's not all either."

I could tell from Marcus's voice that he was enjoying himself. It made me sad because it reminded me of Smitty.

"They're looking for you on suspicion of murder on Harrison Canniff mostly based on a fingerprint that was on a bag that was wrapped around his head when they pulled him up."

"Yeah, I know," I told Marcus tiredly. "I don't know where…" Marcus had continued speaking in his excitement and hadn't heard a word I had said.

"I can't find anything about a bag in the coroner's report."

"Oh my God," I breathed. "His wife couldn't identify him. They had to base the ID on a tattoo. His face was annihilated by the water and whatever was nibbling on him down there." Realization washed over me with the relief of a high colonic.

"Yup!" Marcus said smugly.

"So where in the hell did this plastic bag come from?" I asked nobody in particular.

"Don't know."

"Shit, Marcus can you get a copy of that over to Stacy? I'll get it from her somehow."

I gripped the now hot cell phone to my ear as I listened to what Marcus was saying. I was supposed to be a detective and it hadn't even occurred to me that something wasn't right. There was really no reason that Smitty would wrap this guy's face in a bag. If anything, it would make decomposition take longer and even if he had, my fingerprints shouldn't have been anywhere on it. I was sure I hadn't touched anything. Someone was trying to frame me for a murder I did commit. The question was why? Why go through the trouble. Unless they didn't know that I actually did it. I was shocked out of my thoughts by Marcus's next words.

"Oh and Foster, there is one other thing. They know about the files you ordered."

"Ahhh godamn it!"

"Yeah, but don't worry. When they come in I'll try to photocopy them and get the copies to you."

"Okay, please do, Marcus. I'll give you a call in a few days."

I said my goodbyes and sat for a moment mulling over the new information. I had been so overwrought with despair and then so afraid of going to jail, that I had not reacted like a detective at all. I was too close to the situation, too afraid of being picked up.

A movement out of the corner of my eye finally broke me from my reverie and I watched as Riley sat up in bed. She stretched her arms above her head and once again I was treated to a view of her abdomen.

"Hey," I called to her softly so as not to startle her.

"Hey," she answered.

"You sleep, alright?"

"Yeah, how long was I out?" She swung her long legs over the side of the bed and stood.

"Not long, about two hours I guess."

Riley nodded and sat down across from me at the table. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

"Oh."

"I need to get going, Riley. I have to get out of town. I'm too close to things here. I'm not thinking straight," I finally blurted out.

She nodded as if she knew this was coming. "Do you have any idea where you will go?"

"No, not yet. It will be somewhere quiet though. I'm tired and I'm scared and …there is some shit that's just not making sense to me right now." I gave her the short version of what Marcus told me.

"When will you leave?"

"Tomorrow. First light I think."

"You can take my car."

"Riley, I can't take your car! How will you get home?"

"I don't know, leave it somewhere, I'll get somebody to help me get it back."

"No…."

"Why won't you let someone help you?" she walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and I wasn't surprised when she pulled out a bottle of water. I waited for her to look at me but I think she was purposely avoiding eye contact.

Damn. See, I flunked this part. Deep thoughts and conversations and other shit that makes your heart break. Riley walked into her weight room and I noticed for the first time that her mat was rolled up and the majority of her weights were in boxes.

"Look I'm sorry, Riley, but I can't take your car. If I'm spotted in it and they trace it, then your name will pop up. As I said before, you don't want to be involved in this." She didn't say anything for a minute and I racked my brain. "I can tell this is too much for you. It would be for anyone, I should go now."

Walking out of Riley's weight room was so incredibly hard. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I would be back soon, as if I was just going to the store or something. I almost stumbled as remembered pain hit me with the force of a battering ram.

See, that's how my mother left us. She gave me a hug and my father a kiss on the top of the head and she went to the store for OJ or something stupid like that. I remember what she wore like it was yesterday, a yellow dress with white stockings and white shoes. I remember thinking that it wasn't Sunday so why was she all dressed up. After she had been gone for three hours we even made jokes that she must have had to fly to Florida to pick up the orange juice. I think we knew even then. We got a phone call twenty-four gut-wrenching hours later saying she was in love and would never be back.

I couldn't do that to Riley. I wouldn't. I felt something for her. I wouldn't call it love but I did wish that I had more time to spend with her. Maybe this was one of my punishments. That I would find someone that made my chest hurt when she was sad was just the worst kind of luck. I mentally shook myself before my thoughts went any further. Maybe one day I would have time to admit my feelings for her, but not today.

"Foster, wait!" She had that 'I have an idea' look on her face and I was hard put not to lean forward to see what she had to say.

"You could…you could come with me."

"Come with you?" I repeated. I couldn't help the leap of hope that crashed the walls of my ribcage.

"Yeah, I know a place where you can rest and maybe figure out what you want to do. It's secluded and quiet. No one would bother you."

"Riley, I don't want to get you into trouble," I said half-heartedly.

"But I could already be in trouble. I can't drive myself out of town until my hand gets better. This way I won't have to worry about you and you will get out of town, at least until you come up with a plan or something."

In the seconds it probably took me to answer her, hundreds of reasons why I should leave poured through my head and only two reasons why I should stay. I didn't want to leave her, was the first and the second was, I didn't want to be alone. I was ashamed. All of my life I had been telling people that I didn't need anyone. Going out of my way to push people away, even holding my own father at arms length, for fear that I would become tied down. But the real truth of the matter was that I didn't want them to leave me. Being left alone and being alone because you choose to be are two different things.

I leaned my forehead against the door and waited. Maybe I wanted a signal or something but I didn't get it. All I got was utter quiet. Even Bud had ceased his normal hundred miles an hour evening run.

"Where would we go?" I asked softly as I turned to look at her.

A flash of hopeful wariness went through her eyes before she answered. "I was going to go on vacation before I start work. A friend of mine and I built a cabin on some land that her uncle owned. It's on the Mendocino coast. It's very beautiful and quiet. There are only about 400 people in the whole town. You can think…or hide or whatever, but you'll be safe."

"How long were you going to stay?"

"I don't start my new job until September. I was going to go do some fishing, maybe read a little…" she shrugged. "Just relax. I had so many courses towards the end that I think I wore myself out." I looked at her again. She did look sort of tired. A few months off would do her some good and maybe a nice secluded place to hide would do me some good too.

"When would we leave?" I asked. I had already made my decision when she had said I would be safe. That's what I wanted really. Somewhere that I could curl up and forget.

"As soon as we get the rest of my stuff in the car," she said quietly.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, let's just get out of here."

The silence was so loud that I turned around to make sure that Riley was still there and I was swept up into a hug. I mean a real hug. The kind you want when you're feeling awful and need to be shown that you're loved.

"God, sweetheart, you give the best hugs." I stepped away from Riley quickly and we both looked like we had just swallowed a rather large ice cube.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't sounded so damn aroused when I said it.

Riley nodded and we both smiled nervously. So that's sexual tension, huh? I watched Riley pluck at the edge of her pink cast like she was about ready to pull the damn thing completely off. Now, I couldn't swear to it, but I think this sexual tension thing could be the single most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

"Should we start packing your things then?" Riley nodded quickly and started toward the room that held her comics and laptop. No more of those hugs, I thought as I followed her. I might do something crazy like beg her for a repeat of that kiss we had shared.

It didn't take long to get Riley's meager belongings loaded in the back of her Land Cruiser. She left everything except her clothes, computer, boxes of comics and weights for the owner of the theater to have.

"Wow Riley, this guy must be a real good friend. You are basically handing him a fully furnished, newly remodeled apartment." I told her. I was really being nosey I wanted to know how close she was to this 'friend'.

Riley shrugged. "Well, he's my friend," was all she said. It should have made me feel better, but it didn't. The fact that Riley was a good friend came as no surprise. The way she was going out of her way for me told me what kind of person she was. But I think I wanted to believe that maybe I was different.

"Besides, he let me stay here for months free of charge."

"Well I wouldn't exactly say free of charge, Riley. You do watch the place and now he has an apartment that he could rent out to another student."

Riley grinned at me as we both walked back into the theater to get the remainder of her stuff my bag and Bud. "No, that would be illegal remember? This place isn't zoned to be living space."

"You really think this guy isn't going to let someone live here?" I asked, shocked at her naivety. "Prime living space is hard to find. And hell, once they get this place up and running all the person has to do is get up in the middle of the night and walk up to the concession in his skivvies. He could score Red Vines, Raisinettes and popcorn. No worries."

I was so into my little tirade that I didn't notice that Riley had stopped to pick up my bag, which was still sitting on the floor near the chair I had sat in during our brief time apart. She was looking at me with a look that I hoped I would see more often. I think its called loving indulgence? Yeah, something like that.

"Foster, you shouldn't eat all that stuff. At least not all at once."

"Why not?"

"It's bad for you."

"Uh huh. I've been eating that way all my life. I don't buy that 'not good for you' crap. You're gonna have to come up with something else."

"Well, does it even taste good?"

"You never ate Red Vines before, Riley?" I was shocked. How un-American was that? Maybe she was one of those people that didn't eat candy for fear their teeth would decay.

"I'm sure I have. I just don't remember."

"Oh," I shrugged and turned to walk back down to Riley's apartment. I momentarily forgot my troubles. "My first goal in this friendship is to get you to have a full fledged pig out fest with me. I mean the whole nine. Chocolate, candies, Slim Jims, Twinkies. You name it we're going to eat it. I'm going to corrupt you, Riley Medeiros," I said laughingly as I walked down the narrow stairs and into the brightly lit apartment.

Riley followed closely behind me, a small smile still on her face.

"You not going to say anything?"

"About what?" she asked, her smile starting to slip.

"About the fact that I'm going to corrupt you."

Her eyes grew large. "You are?"

"Yeah, I am. I have a goal. You're going to do it with me in two months or I'm going to die trying."

"Oh…two months, huh?"

"Yup."

"Uh, you think I would last that long? T…two months I mean?"

"Yeah, you're a tough one," I lightly slapped her on the muscular shoulder before I smirked up at her and said, "I can tell you're dying to give in to me anyway."

She really was fun. The look on her face was classic. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought she was actually nervous about the fact that I would be corrupting her eclectic pallet.

"Okay, now don't peek." I told her as I approached her from behind. I had decided to take the time to get myself a little better disguise than Riley's cap and a pair of sunglasses. I would probably continue to wear the sunglasses but the cap just made me look suspicious and I didn't want to call any more attention to myself than I already had.

I stood quietly for a moment behind her and the irrational thought of I hope she likes it floated through my mind before I tapped her on the shoulder. "Okay," I cleared my throat, as it seemed to have developed a hideous croak in the last few seconds.

Riley turned around and her eyes went automatically to my hair. She suddenly blushed beet red. I wondered why she was the one blushing. Hell, I was the one having to stand still while she stared at me like that. Why the hell is it so hot in here anyway?

"Uh, you don't like it?" I drew my hand through my hair and looked at her sheepishly. "I should have let you help."

"No…No, I mean, yes I like it, it suits you," Riley said as her plaster-encased hand came up to touch my hair. She stopped just short of touching it and I forced myself not to sigh in disappointment.

"How does it feel?"

"It feels… different. I've had long hair all my life. I never really thought of cutting it but..." I rubbed my hand along the back of my neck and grinned sheepishly. "I don't know. I guess I sort of like it. It feels nice not to have so much back there. I sort of like the color too. Or do you think it's too much? I'm sort of pale." Riley started picking at the space between her cast and her thumb joint. I wondered if those assholes at the hospital had put it on too tightly.

"I think you look really good, Foster."

"Thanks, um, I'll just get the trash bag and we can go, alright?"

She nodded and after taking one last look at me she quickly scooped up Bud and, without a second glance, walked out of the place that had been her home for months. I know she would have left there eventually, but I couldn't help but feel that I was taking advantage of Riley's friendship. I cinched the bag closed and took one final look at myself in the mirror. The long red hair that I always said I would get cut and styled, but never did, now lay in a garbage bag. The newly dyed blond tresses seemed to want to stand out on my head in every direction.

I frowned. I felt weird. Different. The fear was still there lurking just out of reach but now there was that child like excitement that came with road trips and new adventures.

"Foster, come on. It's hot out there. I don't want Bud to get too hot."

"I'm coming."

I walked out of the apartment and shut the door. I didn't look back either.

By the time Riley and I actually got on highway 101 towards Northern California, rush hour traffic had already set in. I sank down low in the seat and pulled Riley's cap down over my head. "I hope this doesn't last long. It will take us forever to get there at this rate."

Riley's resting place as she called it was in a town called Albion located a few miles outside of Mendocino. Riley thought it would be better if we took highway 1 all the way there, it was scenic and it was less likely that we would encounter any police. I had convinced her that 101 would be safer and besides I doubted that the casual observer would recognize me.

What I didn't tell her was that I couldn't bear to pass the section of road where Smitty had ended his life. It was too anticlimactic, too cliché and too damn painful to try to start a new life by passing the place where he had ended his. The entire stop and go on 101 was driving me crazy though, and I couldn't help but feel that eyes were boring into the side of my head. I sighed as I pulled up behind a dilapidated station wagon with three kids and a German shepherd in the back. The three kids stared at me evilly as they leaned closer together before, surprise of all surprises, all three of them pulled some type of grotesque face. I glared at their unsuspecting and probably uncaring mother in the driver seat of the monstrosity and briefly thought about pulling my gun. I didn't think Riley would like me shooting the little crumb snatchers, so I contented myself with another exasperated sigh instead.

"Hey, I could drive with one hand you know?" she said for the third time in an hour.

"I know you could, Riley, but I don't mind. Besides, we should be out of this in no time."

"Okay, just let me know."

" I will, but I'm fine." I went back to plotting the destruction of the station wagon when I heard Riley's husky voice.

"You really do look nice, not that you didn't before but…" I turned to look at her sharply and then back at the road. That's all we needed was an accident before we even got out of LA.

"Uh, thank you…I wish I had bought some mousse or something." Okay now how stupid is that? I gripped the wheel as I visualized myself rapidly kicking myself in the ass four or five times.

"I think it will look nice either way."

I started grinning and then clamped my mouth shut because I was well on my way to feeling like a major idiot. I thought this was the perfect opening to ask Riley about her dating habits but I didn't even know where to begin. I had gotten along in the dating scene purely on my semi-good looks. If they didn't approach me…well let's just say that in the past I didn't often make the first move. Okay, now it seemed to me I should have been looking over my shoulder or something, not wondering if I had any sort of chance with Riley Medeiros.

We were both startled when Riley's phone, which she had thrown up on the dashboard, began to vibrate. I unconsciously gripped the steering wheel. I pretended that I wasn't listening when she answered the phone, but in such close confines it would be impossible not to overhear the conversation.

"Hello… Hiiii!" I didn't like the sound of that "Hi".

"I'm fine. Yeah, it might be a while is that okay? Yeah I know. We'll have to do that. How is everything? Okay…. okay…okay, well that's a promise. Thanks a lot Dani and I'll give you a call in a few days. Bye-bye."

I glanced over at Riley and then back at the road. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah that was my friend Dani. I called her while you were in the bathroom. She said that the cabin is all ready, but I will need to start the fireplaces. She said I could stay as long as I want, she won't be needing it." Riley sighed and looked out her window.

"You don't seem too happy about it?" I prodded tentatively.

"No, it's not that. She seemed a little quiet."

"Oh, well why didn't you ask her if something was wrong?"

Riley shrugged. "She wouldn't have told me anyway."

I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat as traffic continued to creep along with the speed of a sloth. "I thought you guys were good friends."

"We are. If she needs to talk, she'll tell me."

I rolled my eyes. This Dani sounded like a carbon copy of Riley. It's a wonder they even held a conversation, let alone were best friends.

I came to a stop behind the station wagon and turned to Riley. "Riley, will anybody…?"

Riley's lashes fluttered briefly but they didn't open. Once again I felt guilty about what I had put her through in the past few days. I sighed. I was going to ask her if anyone would be worried about her if she didn't go home right away.

"Riley, you awake?" I felt her jump. "It's okay, Riley. Nothing's wrong," I told her quietly. I had been driving for three hours straight and the further we got from LA, the more tension I felt lift from my shoulders. I had come to a decision and I wanted to talk to Riley about it. "We need to get some gas and I'm starving. I should have gotten some stuff when I picked up the hair dye."

Riley sat up in her seat and stretched her back a little. I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road and not look at her chest. "How long was I asleep?"

"About three hours."

"Three hours?"

"I think you were tired." I glanced quickly at her and smiled as sleepy blue eyes looked at me slightly confused.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"For what?"

"I don't know, so I could keep you company."

I glanced over at her again she looked slightly perturbed. "I wanted you to get some sleep."

She nodded and said resignedly. "Yeah, I was a little tired. Do you know where you're going to stop?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to pull off at the next exit. We can get some snacks and gas at the same time."

My stomach growled inelegantly as I pulled off the exit and after a quick right, pulled into a gas station that had only four pumps and a general store. On either side there was nothing but acre upon acre of barren farmland. It was the perfect place for us to stop.

Riley opened her car door first. "Why don't you stay in here? I'll go pay for the gas and get some snacks."

"Okay," I said absently as I watched her unfurl her long legs from the truck and walk into the store. The pink plaster of the cast looked obscene against her tanned skin. Her tight t-shirt disappearing into the waistband of her neatly pressed jeans. I am so screwed, I thought despondently. My stomach seconded my statement as I leaned back in my seat with my eyes closed.

"I hope she brings Slim Jims," I grumbled to myself.

I suddenly sat straight up. I had made a heinous mistake! I had allowed a woman who had squash and zucchini in her refrigerator to go into a store to buy snacks for me.

"Damn." I quickly grabbed the cap that I had pushed off my head after we had left the city limits, and the cheap sunglasses. With a deep breath I left the vehicle figuring I would be safe in this secluded area.

I stepped up on the stairs of the store, which by the way looked like it had been converted from a residence, and opened the squealing screen door with a wince. I walked in and looked around hesitantly. I didn't see anyone at the counter so my eyes started searching the store for Riley. Sure enough I saw her bent over an assortment of fruit with a little red basket over her left arm while using the plaster-encased hand to nudge and probe the fruit. I rolled my eyes as I approached.

"Hey," I said as I folded my arms in front of my chest and narrowed my eyes.

"H…Hey?" Her eyes widened as she looked at me. She looked around and whispered, "you should have waited in the car!"

"Whatcha got there?" I asked her suspiciously.

She looked down in her basket and back up at me. "Some water and fruit?"

"Uh huh, and what did you get for me to eat?"

"Um, I thought this was for both of us." I shook my head and narrowed my eyes behind my cheap glasses.

"I don't think so."

She opened her mouth to say something else when her eyes narrowed and her mouth tightened.

She sat the basket down slowly and then straightened to her full height. A muscle in her jaw appeared, reminding me of how intimidating I had found her when she was at the front door of Secret's.

"Uh, Riley…?" I was going to apologize. Tell her that I was really just kidding. If she wanted me to eat a damn apple, I would eat the damn thing. There was no need for her to get pissed.

"See, what did I tell you?"

"It is her!"

I turned around to see two dirty, backwoods, Deliverance-looking motherfuckers complete with dirty bib overalls and sleeveless T- shirts. They were standing in the middle of the aisle blocking any possibility for a hasty exit. I instinctively reached for my guns but was stopped by a hand behind me. I looked back quickly to see that Riley's eyes had not left the two dirty men in front of us but she stood calmly waiting.

"Myrtle, Myrtle get out here quick!" one of them called out while the other one grinned happily around a piece of gum that peeked out of his mouth as he chewed.

I watched, amazed, as he chomped down on that gum and then began to pop it loudly. I wish I could do that, I thought inanely as I watched him. I blinked as I realized that I had probably lost my mind. Here I was, standing in the middle of bum fuck California with two really unclean looking men, one of whom has obviously recognized me, and I'm jealous of his ability to pop his chewing gum.

Myrtle approached from the back of the store carrying a broom and dustpan.

"What you want, Milton? I'm busy back…. ohhhh myyyy Goooooodddd!"

I glared at Myrtle with what I hoped was an intimidating look. "So what do you want, an autograph or something?" These people were starting to get on my nerves. They needed to either call the police or get the fuck out of the way.

The older of the two men started and immediately began to give orders. "Myrtle, go get Hershel and tell him to bring the books." I tensed as Myrtle seemed to snap out of her frozen stupor and scampered back the way she had come. I was a fool to think I could simply waltz out of town with Riley and not get caught. Riley still held my hand behind my back. Maybe this was someone's way of telling me that it was not my time to be happy. I leaned back against Riley. Instantly, I felt the heat of her body through my shirt. I felt her breathing as it, through coincidence or fate, matched itself to mine. I melted into her much larger body and I could have sworn that she did the same. This would probably be the last time I had any contact with her and I wanted to remember it.

The sound of running footsteps is what broke all four of us from our silent, trancelike state. A man that made Riley look like a Barbie doll barreled through the door, an angry scowl on his face. In his hands he carried a pile of magazines. He didn't have on any type of a police uniform, but hell, maybe they didn't wear uniforms out here. It wasn't like they had much to police anyway.

"Uh, it is you ain't it?" The older man asked fearfully. I opened my mouth to answer when I realized that they were staring above my head and not at me at all.

"Course that's her, Daddy. It looks just like her," the younger man answered.

"Holy shit!" Myrtle said.

"Watch your mouth, Myrtle Ann Devorou," the daddy said without taking his eyes off us.

Okay, I was completely stumped as to what was going on. But I could feel Riley's tense body relax and to some extent, even though I still didn't get it, I felt myself do the same.

"It's the real 'Dark Menace' right here in our store." He said it with such reverence that I instantly moved to get my gun again. These people were scaring me. But once again Riley stopped me. I glanced back at her angrily, but her unwavering gaze had not left the four gaping strangers in front of me.

"Yeah, it's me," she said lowly and then our four locals seemed to be talking at once.

"I knew it!"

"You did not, Daddy, I told you."

"Will you sign our books please, ma'am? We got all of the first, second and third story arc." I stared at Myrtle like she had lost her mind. Who in the hell did they think Riley was? The big dude, Hershel, had not moved a muscle since he'd walked in. He simply stared steadily at Riley. I backed up a step and felt myself snarl. I didn't like the way he was looking and if he wanted to start some shit, he was going to get more than he could handle.

"M…ma'am, could you please sign my books, too?" My mouth dropped rudely as I watched a childlike glee come over the huge man's face. His voice had that childlike quality that you only hear in really young children or those that would be forever innocent because of mental retardation.

"Of course I can," Riley stepped around me and walked towards the big man. "Hershel, isn't it?"

"Yes, ma'am." He said eagerly.

"Got a pen, Hershel?"

"Yes, ma'am." Hershel pulled a pen from the bib of his overalls, his eyes never leaving Riley as she quickly signed the small magazine that he handed her.

"Those all your books, Hershel?"

"Yes, ma'am…uh well my daddy bought them for us. They're my sister's and my brother's and mine. But they're mostly mine." Hershel looked at the other three family members warily then back at Riley. "Mostly," he finished shyly.

"Okay, well you want me to sign the rest of those then?"

"Oh yes, ma'am." I thought Hershel's eyes were going to pop out of his head. I followed Riley up to the counter determined to sneak a peek at whatever it was she was autographing. 'To my friend Hershel, you had better be good or I'll come after you. Riley Medeiros AKA the Dark Menace." I stared incredulously at the cover of one of over thirty plastic-covered comic books. All of which had a picture of a menacing looking blond dressed in black, with her much larger looking companion standing either off to the side or behind her. Each of the covers read the Angel of Death and the Dark Menace. Upon first glance, I thought the resemblance to Riley just uncanny, but upon closer inspection, I had to change my first assertion. No, the dark haired, well-muscled beauty on the front cover could be no one else but my Riley Medeiros.

"Hey, you wouldn't by chance be…?"I was shaken out of my shocked reverie by Hershel's dad.

"Oh no," Riley interrupted before I could answer. "She's just a friend."

I know why Riley sounded so dismissive when she said I was just a friend. She didn't want the family to pay too much attention to me and her tone had the desired effect, but it still made me feel irrationally sad. She said I was just a friend. What else would she say? After all, that's all I was, wasn't I?

Hershel's daddy continued to look at me suspiciously before he finally shrugged and turned back to his exuberant sons and daughter. Strange family I thought, but weirdly enough I was jealous. My dad had never really shown much interest in what I did as a kid. Truthfully, I didn't do much by way of hobbies but even if I had, I doubt he would have been as into it as Hershel's daddy.

"Will you or Dani be at the Comicon in San Diego this year?" Myrtle asked eagerly.

Riley looked up and smiled at Myrtle making the poor girl blush profusely. I sympathized with her greatly. That smile had the same affect on me. "I'm not sure if I'll be there this year, I have some prior commitments. But I know Dani wouldn't miss it for the world."

Ok, who the hell is this Dani, anyway? And what the hell is a Comic con? I thought angrily. It was becoming abundantly clear to me that Riley was the queen of keeping secrets.

Riley finished signing the books and handed them back to the still wide-eyed Hershel. "Here you go, Hershel."

"Thank you, M...Menace."

"You can call me Riley."

"I can?" He looked at his father for permission but he still couldn't seem to bring himself to say her name. So he just nodded and looked down at his comic books, his mouth stretched into a wide grin.

Riley turned around and ran straight into me. I glared up at her causing her large grin to fade as I put my hands on my hips and told her with my eyes what I couldn't say with the interested observers still watching. I stared at her until she got a resigned look on her face and I was satisfied that she got my meaning. I turned on my heels and meticulously began picking out my favorite snacks while she continued her fruit picking on the other side of the store. I picked up a display box filled with about twenty small Slim Jims and dumped them into my basket, along with four Mars Bars, some sunflower seeds, six bottles of Yoo-hoo, four Twizzlers, and a can of Planters Cheez Balls. The whole time adoring eyes followed both of us and I stewed in my own juices. Someone had some explaining to do.

I watched her load her bags in the back seat as I had. Instead of getting into the car though, she reached up and got her cell phone off the dashboard. "I'm going to make a phone call before we get going, all right?"

"Sure, that's fine." I expected her to get in the car and make the call, but instead she walked a few feet away. Whoever she called must have been on speed dial because she didn't push many buttons before she was talking.

"Hi, it's me." As if she could sense that I was eavesdropping, she turned her back to me and began talking in a lower voice. I focused on one of the gas pumps and waited for her to return to the car. Ten minutes later she opened the door, got in and sat down.

"All set?" I asked, causing her to glance up almost as if she had forgotten I was there.

"Yeah, I'm ready." She didn't look at me for long, but it was long enough for me to see the sadness in her eyes. I wondered if she had called Brad. Had he said something to make her sad? Maybe he didn't like the fact that she was going to be away from him for a few more months…hell I couldn't blame him for that. I wouldn't like it either. I pulled the car back on to the highway without incident. Riley didn't say anything for about twenty minutes before I decided to break the silence between us.

"So you're a comic book character?" I asked.

"Yes…No, well sort of." I could see her squirming out of the corner of my eye.

"Hmm, either you are or you aren't, Riley."

"Well, I sort of am."

"How did that happen?"

"Well see, you remember my friend, Dani?" My lips thinned. Dani again. "She's the one that writes the comic."

"Mmm hmmm?"

"One day I was sitting in class and she sat down next to me."

"Uh huh, I still don't see how you ended up in it."

"Well, she said I had a nice body and she asked me to pose for her. When she first started it was just a hobby, you know, something to do when we were in school. I helped her create the characters and she gave me credit in her books." There was a moment of uncomfortable silence between us as I racked my brain for an appropriate response.

"Well I can understand that," I blurted out and would have closed my eyes if I thought I could get away with it without causing an accident.

"What?"

"That she would want to draw you."

"You can?"

"Yeah, you do have a nice body."

"Oh... thanks."

"Welcome."

Neither of us seemed capable of speaking after that so the silence ensued. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and I forced myself to say something to her.

"Look…" I stopped. Once again she had fallen asleep. She looked so sweet that I didn't have the heart to wake her even though I wanted to continue the conversation. For some reason this whole comic book thing bothered the shit out of me and I didn't know why.

"Riley?" I said as we made another agonizingly slow turn. I nudged her and she sat up looking around, instantly alert and focused.

"What time is it?" she asked.

" It's about three in the morning. I'm sorry for waking you but I think we're getting close."

"It's raining so hard."

"Yeah," I told her nervously, "these are some crooked ass roads. A couple times I had to slow almost to a standstill." Riley glanced out her window.

"This looks like the national park. We should be there in about ten minutes I guess." She said and settled back in her seat, her arms crossed. A bolt of lightening caused us to jump.

"I hate lightening," she said under her breath but was interrupted by a loud grumble that seemed to come from the inside of the car itself. We drove in silence after that, both of us shivering even though the interior of the car was fairly warm.

I jumped again as Riley's deep voice interrupted the heavy silence. "Make a sharp turn here and I'll open the gate."

"Where, I don't see anything?" I leaned forward and tried to see through the sheeting water and the black wiper blades that appeared and then disappeared through the heavy torrent.

"Right here, turn or you're going to miss it."

I whipped the wheel a tad dangerously and turned into the obscure little driveway. Our headlights illuminated a sign that warned "private road keep out."

"Now lets hope the key is where Dani said it would be." I nodded as she ran out into the rain slightly stooped over as if that would keep her from getting drenched. She bent down and reached into some bushes before jogging back in front of the headlights and then fumbling with the gate. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least this Dani had come through. Riley wrestled the gate open and I drove carefully through. I watched her in the rearview mirror as she locked the gate. She jumped into the car and the dome light briefly illuminated her face. She was grinning happily not at all perturbed with the fact that she was drenched.

"You're going to have to tell me where to go," I said thickly as something heavy welled up in my throat and sat there as if to say, if you don't say it I will.

"Turn right here."

I made the turn as she had indicated even though I couldn't really see any sort of shelter. We left what had been a fairly smooth dirt road for a gravel path.

"Pull in there."

I did as she instructed and for the first time noticed a rather low-slung building that was almost completely obscured by the trees surrounding it. I cut the engine and looked around the pitch-dark area as the sound of the engine cooling and the rain hitting the windshield made it appear even more solitary.

"Come on, let's get inside and get warm. "

I nodded and opened my door and waited for her to come around to the front of the truck.

"Watch your step." A warm hand briefly touched the middle of my back and then was removed. But not before it caused chills to shoot through my body.

I carefully stepped up onto a deck that I could barely see as she led me around the building and to a door.

"One more step, here," she said quietly.

I blindly stepped up once more and waited as she fumbled with the key. I tried to take in my surroundings. I could hear the ocean so it must have been fairly close, although I couldn't see it. And to my right I could hear the low humming of some type of generator. Riley finally got the door open and we both stumbled through it.

"Ahh shit," I groaned as Riley shut the door behind me and we both stood trembling in the darkness. If possible, it was even colder inside than out.

"Hang on, I'll get the light."

I heard Riley running her hand along the wall as she searched for a light switch. Finally, the room was illuminated giving me my first view of the cabin. I turned around in a circle my mouth slightly agape. The Ritz it was not but this was far from the shanty that I was expecting. Hardwood floors throughout and double doors that led out to what, as I squinted out the dark window, I could now see was a huge deck that went the entire length of the cabin. A built in couch was located in front of the double doors along with a nice sized fireplace. I walked around Riley and took the one step into a kitchen that had a small table that seated two and a sink complete with a small dishwasher.

"It's not much." She seemed to be embarrassed about something.

"Are you kidding? This is great," I told Riley and was rewarded with a large, toothy grin. "Thank you for bringing me here. I can't believe you built this."

"Well I helped build it. Dani did most of it. I just helped where I could. She is the one that got me into this sort of stuff."

Dani again. Man I wished I knew what was up with Riley and this Dani. Whoever she was, I didn't think I liked her much. "Well, you guys did a great job. You want to show me the rest?"

"Sure," Riley said enthusiastically. "It's sort of small though, shouldn't take but a few seconds."

I followed her toward the bathroom. She stopped at the entryway and gestured for me to go in first. "Oh wow," I was quite pleased to see that the bathroom was outfitted with a small toilet and slate rock floors. Another step up led to a shower with three spigots that made it perfect if two people wanted to shower together. I smiled politely at that too, wondering if Dani and she had tested that feature out. A small window that opened into the shower was the only ventilation. Riley explained that she and Dani had put in glass blocks instead of just a regular wall for light.

"But couldn't someone see you? If they were out on the deck I mean?"

"Nope, we checked. Couldn't see a thing," Riley said as she walked out of the bathroom.

I followed her, a little aggravated by her response.

"Watch your step right here."

"Boy you guys sure do have a lot of steps in this place," I said bitchily, which of course made me feel bad. But Riley didn't seem to notice so I stepped down once and entered into what was obviously the bedroom. Though sparsely furnished, it did have two end tables and two chairs with a bureau and an electric stove. The king-sized bed was the main feature of the room. It stood nearly four and a half feet off the floor.

"Damn! That's a big bed."

"I know," Riley chuckled. "You should see Dani trying to get into this thing. She is probably shorter than you are."

Okay that's it! "Hey Riley, is Dani married?"

"Dani? Noooo." She kind of chuckled as she said that and got this far off look on her face for a minute. I stood there not knowing whether to question her further or let it go. I couldn't help but think that this place was built as a love nest for someone. I wondered if it was Dani and Riley's love nest. The thought of that hurt more than the idea of Riley being straight.

I shivered violently and Riley must have misunderstood the reason for it. "You're cold, I'll start the fireplaces." She walked over to the little red electric fireplace that was tucked away in a corner and flipped a switch in the back of it causing fake flames to leap to life.

"We found this at a junkyard, isn't it great?"

I nodded that it was indeed great and she quickly left the room and returned minutes later with an army sweatshirt, a pair of sweatpants, and a towel. "If you want to get changed in here, I'll change out front." I nodded noticing for the first time that I was still shivering.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" she asked me, concern plainly showing on her face. "You seem quiet."

"No. No, I'm fine. Riley, your friend isn't going to mind us using her place?"

"I called her and asked, remember? She said I could use it for as long as I wanted. She wasn't going to need it any time soon."

"Oh, okay," I said as my heart sank. Even though this bit of news should have made me feel better, it didn't. I wondered if Dani and Riley were lovers. That huge bed was made for lovers.

"Foster?"

"Yeah?"

"I asked, if you were hungry?"

"No… no I'm not. I'm sorry I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"Why don't you get changed? I'm going to go get the fire started in the front to help warm this place up."

I nodded, and after another curious look at me, she walked out of the room shutting the door quietly behind her. A violent shudder hit my body and I quickly began the arduous task of disrobing. My damp clothing clung to every part of my skin. I finally pulled the warm sweats on after entertaining the idea of a hot shower. I really did need one, but I was too cold to even think of staying undressed.

After putting my socks back on, I opened the door to ask Riley about our sleeping arrangements. Riley stood in front of the fireplace, her back to me as she pulled a dry t-shirt down over her head. I shivered again as I looked at her back and narrow waist. Arousal flooded my senses, making my nostrils flare from the intensity of it. Riley turned around, as if suddenly realizing I was standing there, and smiled.

"You look comfy."

I looked down at the gray ARMY sweatshirt that was drowning me and the sweats that fit better, but were still slightly too big. "Yeah, they are pretty warm. Are they Dani's? "

"Yeah, she always keeps some clothes here. She won't mind if we use them. I thought they were warmer than anything you had. Oh, I brought Bud in too." She pointed to a corner of the room where the orange pet condo sat. "I didn't bother with the bags. We can get them in the morning, okay?"

I nodded absently as she approached.

"What's wrong, Foster? Don't you like it here?

"What…no it's not that. This place is wonderful!" I could see that Riley didn't believe me so I decided that I would come clean with her, at least partially. "I …I guess I thought that since this was your place with Dani that she might… that you might resent that I'm here and want her with you instead. Oh hell, I don't know what I mean." I slumped down on the surprisingly comfortable, if not eye pleasing couch and stared blindly out the darkened double glass doors.

"I wanted you to come here with me, not Dani."

Riley sat down next to me, with her hands clasped in front of her and her head slightly bowed. "I like it here, it's quiet. I would sometimes come here to think. Or be alone. Dani and I have never stayed here together other than when we were working. Not even one night. I've never stayed here with anyone."

I felt like a heel. Riley didn't deserve my petty jealousies and she certainly didn't need to tell me where she took her women, if indeed there had ever been any.

"I'm sorry, Riley. I guess I'm just feeling like I'm taking so much from you and not giving anything in return. If things weren't this way… it would be different."

"Yeah? Different how." She looked at me in that strange way she had. So penetrating, as if she was afraid she would miss something.

"Um…well it's kind of embarrassing."

"It's okay, Foster. I would never laugh at you." The look on her face was so incredibly serious that I could tell that this was a vow that she fully intended on keeping.

"I know you wouldn't," I told her just as seriously. "I … would like to get to know you better, Riley. I was sort of jealous in the store when those people knew something about you that I didn't." I blurted out, then turned away as heat started at my forehead then dropped down to my neck.

Okay, what the hell…? Now, I do not blush. Fair skin or no, blushing is for kids and people who haven't seen crack babies crawling over their mother's dead corpses and pimps who have beat the shit out of pregnant hookers or …well shit, you know what I mean.

"I would like to get to know you better too, Foster."

I wanted to scream, noooo, you don't understand. I want to kiss you senseless and climb over your body naked and… so much more. I couldn't say any of those things because even if Riley was gay, even if she was available and God forbid, faintly interested in me, what kind of life could I offer her? No, it would be better for both of us if she kept thinking of me as just a friend. So, I smiled at her and nodded my head and we said nothing else. The room slowly warmed as my heart froze over. In that moment, I almost wished I could be caught and that tantalizing box full of "what if's" taken from me, because it hurt to think about it. Riley yawned causing me to do the same.

"You can sleep in the bed, I'll sleep out here, okay?"

I nodded and wordlessly walked into the bedroom and turned down the bed. With some effort I was able to hop up into it and snuggle down in the clean smelling sheets. I only had to turn my head slightly to see Riley, her knees sticking up in the air as she tried to get comfortable.

I turned to stare at the glass doors at the foot of the bed. Though similar to the ones in the front room where Riley slept, these made me feel ill at ease. The area was almost pitch black so I was unable to see what lay outside the door. I listened for a minute. The rain had stopped and I could hear the faint sound of the wood popping in the fireplace in the front room. I shivered under the thick down comforter. I was a city kid born and raised. All of this quiet was unnerving to me. Even though Riley was only four or five steps away, I still felt a little afraid. I reached over and cut the lamp off anyway. I took a deep breath and told my overactive imagination that it was time to sleep. I lay there, my eyes wide open in the dark. I looked into the living room but could only see the top of Riley's head and her knees. As soft as it had been, even I would have had a hard time sleeping comfortably on that couch. I lay there for a few minutes more before sitting up and sliding down off the bed. I padded over to her and bent down, in the dim light cast by the fire I couldn't tell if she was asleep or not.

"What are you doing, Foster?"

The rose petal softness of her voice temporarily robbed me of my answer. "Would you like to sleep in there with me?"

She didn't answer me immediately and I kicked myself for disturbing her. I straightened and prepared to get back in bed

"You wouldn't mind?" she asked, her voice so clear that I had the brief thought that she had been awake the whole time, watching as I approached her.

"No, there's plenty of room. That bed is huge." I chuckled and stepped back as she got up awkwardly from the cramped couch. I padded back into the bedroom and scrambled back into the obscenely high bed. She checked the fireplace, and it was almost as if she was delaying coming into the room until I had settled down. I closed my eyes as I felt her climb up on the bed and snuggled down.

"It's a lot warmer in here. I was freezing," she said softly.

"Why didn't you say something?" I scowled into the darkness as once again Riley was putting my own comfort before hers. I had never been around such a selfless person in my life; I didn't think I liked it. Made me feel like even more of an asshole.

She yawned before she answered. "I wanted you to get some sleep. I didn't think you would be comfortable with me sleeping in here with you."

I smacked my lips and didn't bother to reply because she was probably right. If she had suggested that we share a bed, I probably would have told her to take it and slept on the couch in the freezing living room. Riley's breathing evened out and I could tell that she was nearing a peaceful sleep. I snuggled down further under the blankets. Even though it was a lot warmer in this room than the front, it was still cold as hell. I moved closer to Riley but was careful not to touch her.

As soon as I closed my eyes again, my mind began to wander to things that were best left untouched. Like what it would feel like to make love to Riley. Where she liked and disliked to be touched. I was just beginning to enjoy myself when my bubble burst and I thought of Brad! She had called him back at the gas station, I was sure of it. I could tell that something he said had made her sad. I wondered if she told him she loved him. Perhaps, they would get married soon and they would have children. I literally squirmed from the thought of that. My lips parted and I'm sure if I had been alone I would have cried out. I had let her in. The idea of her marrying someone else, indeed being with anyone other than me, caused me physical pain. I shivered from cold and the ache that seemed to suffuse my body. Riley murmured in her sleep and turned over. I caught my breath as her arms went around me and she pulled me close. I opened my eyes to see if she was awake but her breathing had evened out, and in equal parts relief and despair, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

Every time I would try to move or pull away she would murmur in her sleep and hold me closer. It was the most excruciatingly wonderful thing I had ever felt. We lay that way for hours as the fire in the front room died down and the biting cold begin to skulk back in. I shivered once and that too earned me a gentle squeeze. I buried my face in the place between Riley's chest and chin and inhaled deeply before I moved my head to a safer place, and for the sixth time tried to close my eyes and sleep. My movements had allowed cold air to creep under our covers and as I shivered, Riley, in what I was certain was an unconscious move on her part, gave me another of those sweet hugs that sent warmth seeping through my body. God, she is so damn sweet, I thought just before I finally fell asleep.

I lifted my hips. God it felt like I was so close.

"Foster?"

"No!" I breathed. "Please don't talk, you don't understand. I'm so close."

"I understand. I just need you to open your eyes."

"No, I don't want to. Then you'll go away and I'm so close. I don't remember ever being this close." There was a firm stroke to my clitoris and I groaned loudly.

"Does that feel good?" a husky voice asked.

"Yes, please don't stop."

"Then open your eyes for me, Foster. Open your eyes."

I opened them because I didn't want her to stop. I wanted it to continue until I found relief.

Aroused blue eyes floated above me. "Riley?"

Suddenly fear snatched me away from the pleasure that she was giving me with the rhythmic steady stroking of her hand. "Riley, I can't… you don't understand…I don't… I won't..."

"Yes, you will," she said softly. And then she was entering me.

"Oh God." I breathed as pleasure caused me to rock my hips back and forth. Usually by this time, unless I was alone, my body would have betrayed me. No mater how gentle the partner, it would begin to be uncomfortable, to hurt. But this, this was different.

It felt so good. The pulsing between my legs caused me to close my eyes and tighten my legs around her hand. I wanted to draw her deeper in me. My hands wrapped around her arms and I noted that her legs were bare and over mine.

"Open your legs for me, Foster. Open them now," she begged and I did.

"Riley, I don't think…."

"That's right, don't think. Just trust me. For me you will." And she began to move with more force. Her fingers moved excruciatingly slow but deeper with each and every stroke.

When it began, I fought down the urge to scream. It had been so long since I'd had an orgasm that it scared me with its intensity. Riley continued to thrust into me and the pleasure of it… the pleasure of it was too much. "Riley, please stop. Riley, I cant." And when it hit I felt like I was drowning and she still continued to move inside of me, not pausing to let me think or breath. "No more, Riley. Please, I can't take anymore."

"Foster…Foster, wake up." The warm hand on my stomach and the pulling in my crotch were the first things that I became aware of. Riley loomed over me, her brow creased in a fierce scowl.

"Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to answer her and only a sob came out as my body chose that moment to remind me that at least part of it had not been a dream. I felt the tail end of my orgasm as it died away and left me spent, mortified, and looking up into Riley's concerned blue eyes.

"Foster, you were calling my name."

"Oh God…" was all I got out as I slid off the bed and moved quickly away from her. She knows. She knows that I was dreaming of her…my feet hit the freezing cold floor and I stood still as the shocking cruelty of it hit me all at once. She belonged to someone else, probably thought of herself as nothing more than a really good friend.

"Foster, what's wrong?" I heard her getting up from the bed and as her feet hit the floor, I ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. In lieu of a lock, the door had a small skeleton key. So I turned it and backed away as if it would come to life.

"Foster? Please…let me talk to you."

I sat down on the shower ledge with my hands over my head and eyes closed, started to rock. My God if she knew, what then? She was the only tie I had to the real world. Hell, the only person that I trusted and now I was having dreams in which she made love…no, had sex with me.

"I…I'm just going to take a shower, Riley…" I called out trying to make my voice sound as clear as possible.

"It was a nightmare, Foster. I would never do anything to hurt you."

I couldn't help it, I sobbed. I don't know if it was relief or pain though. She didn't know what I was dreaming about. She thought I was afraid of her. I slowly got to my feet and unlocked the door. She was standing in the doorway both arms stretched within the frame, her head bowed as if she had been resting her head on the door. She looked up at me and the ache of the dream was replaced by the ache of seeing the sad look in her eyes.

"Riley?"

"Just a nightmare, okay?" she said softly. She looked so sad that I ran into her arms and closed my eyes as she lifted me off of my feet and held me tightly.

"Okay," I whispered into her t-shirt. She didn't need to know that I was crying because it was a dream. It would do no good. She was my friend. She cared about me. That's all that mattered.

(C) 2001 Gabrielle Goldsby

To be continued