See part one for disclaimers

"Riley?" I gasped. Her voice faded as I clawed my way out of a deep sleep. "Riley?"

I was burrowed beneath the warm down comforter like a hibernating bear. I peeked at Riley's side of the bed and was disappointed to see that she had already gotten up. I must have been dreaming again. I could have sworn she was talking to me...saying the sweetest things. I looked at the alarm clock and confirmed that it was already past ten. My God, who gets up before ten if they don't have to? Slowly my body began to relax. I am going to fall in love with you.

I was just about to shut my eyes against the world when I remembered waking up with Riley hovering over me. "Oh God!" Why couldn't that part have been a dream too?

Each and every part was crystal clear to me. So much so, that I had to fight down a small curl of arousal that threatened to turn into something dangerous. My God! I had an orgasm while Riley was watching! Humiliation flooded through me as I tried to close my eyes against the vision of me scurrying off the bed and running into the bathroom like a fourteen-year-old schoolboy with his first boner.

I sighed. I should have been grateful that Riley had believed that I had been in the throes of a nightmare or I would have been too embarrassed to look her in the eye. As it was, I didn't think I would be in any hurry to face her. I'm not the shyest person in the world, but you don't just have a wet dream while someone watches and then have a conversation like nothing happened. At least I couldn't. I was bound and determined to lie in that bed until I figured out where my misspent erotic thoughts were coming from.

"Mmmmm." I groaned as the smell of fresh coffee drifted in and tantalized my nose. God, if there was one thing I couldn't fight against it was a cup of coffee. Riley was not playing fair. I groaned again and pushed the covers down on the bed only to be treated to one of the best views I had ever seen. Though the windows were tinted, it was still possible to see the ocean through them. A movement just to the right of the door caused me to crane my neck. My heart went back to its normal beat as a long muscular leg became visible. "What the hell is she wearing?"

I leaned so far out of the bed I'm sure I would have fallen if I hadn't grabbed hold of the bedpost to steady myself. Riley was sitting on a bench leaned back against the cabin sipping from a mug. She appeared to be staring out at the ocean. She was dressed in running shoes, a sweatshirt and running shorts that were riding quite high, giving this not so casual observer a hint of her muscular thigh.

I flopped back in the bed and sighed. I was in no hurry to see Riley right now, but I needed to get coffee. I didn't want her to put two and two together and come up with: Foster is a perv.

I slid down off the bed and crept into the bathroom. Although the wood burning stove and the fireplace were warming the rooms, the floors and tile where still quite cold. I stripped off the sweats and after turning the six or so knobs in the shower, got all three showerheads going just the way I wanted them. I sighed gratefully as the warm water cleansed my body. I grabbed Riley's shampoo from the small windowsill and lathered my now short tresses. It felt great to only have to use a small amount of shampoo. I washed and rinsed it twice, then washed my body twice more before deciding I had killed enough time. It was time to face the music.

Since Riley had her running shoes and shorts on I figured that she had gone out to the car and retrieved some of our things. Sure enough, when I walked into the living room with the towel still wrapped around me, I found our bags sitting neatly against the wall. Riley had already taken a sweatshirt and pants out of her things and set them next to my Flip-flops.

I slipped the pants on, as well as the overly large sweatshirt. Like Dani's, it too drowned me. But unlike Dani's, the arms where also too long. I pushed them up on my forearms and looked down at myself. "Oh yeah, real cute."

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cabinet. I searched the cupboards and nearly crowed when I came across sugar and powdered creamer. After adding both to my coffee until it was nearly white, I nodded with approval and headed back to the bedroom. Opening the door leading to the deck, I shivered a little as the crisp air hit me.

"Hi," Riley greeted me with a contented smile as I sat down next to her on the crude wooden bench. "How are you feeling?'

I nodded and took a sip of the coffee to give myself time to think before I answered. "Fine...I'm sorry about this morning. About waking you, I mean."

"It's okay." I could tell she wanted to say more but she didn't. I was glad she wasn't half as nosey as I am because I would have asked her what the dream was about right off.

"How long have you been up?"

"A few hours. I stayed with you for a while, then I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Aren't you cold?" She drank from her cup and sighed contentedly.

"No, not really." She paused and stared out at the water. "I love it here."

I turned to gaze out at the choppy ocean. Fog made visibility bad, but I could still see for miles. To the right of us were a few dark rock outcroppings and the water crashed against them rhythmically before cascading back down into the ocean, leaving a white froth that dissipated like the foam on mocha. "It is very beautiful," I said quietly. "I hope the weather gets better soon so it won't be so foggy."

"Hmmm." I thought it was a grunt of agreement, but I couldn't be sure. She seemed pretty relaxed so I just sat back and watched the ocean as well.

I managed to sit still for about two minutes before I noticed a small boat come around a cliff and straight toward Riley and I.

"Um, hey Riley, should that small boat be out in such rough water?"

"Sure, why not? They're too far away to see us, don't worry."

"No, I mean won't they crash up against the rocks?"

" I'm sure they know every rock out there."

"Oh," I watched them for a few minutes more before I saw another boat come from the same direction. "Now there are two of them. What are they doing?" I asked enthralled.

"Here. Be right back." Riley handed me her mug and ran into the cabin. She was back in minutes carrying a long telescope.

"This was Dani's as a kid. She leaves it here because this is the best place for star watching at night."

I was really jealous of this Dani chick. Seemed like Riley talked about her an awful lot. She set the telescope down and looked into it, then gestured for me to come stand in front of her.

"I'm sorry," she chuckled as I stood on tiptoe to look through the eyepiece. After she adjusted it, it took me a minute to find what I was supposed to be looking at.

"Oh my God, is he going to dive in that water?" I asked breathlessly as I saw two men in the fishing boat, one wearing a wet suit.

"Probably."

"What for? It must be freezing out there?"

"Here, let me see." Riley leaned from behind me to look into the telescope. "They're putting out lobster traps more than likely." I shivered a little as the warmth of her body and the chill in the air caused my nipples to become painfully hard. My mind started to wander back to my dream and how much I would enjoy touching her without pretence.

Riley moved away from me quickly as if she'd heard what I was thinking and I bent to look into the telescope so as not to have to speak to her. I watched as one of the men slid over the side of the boat and disappeared from view.

"I meant what I said. I would never hurt you."

I froze, my eye still on the telescope. "I know you wouldn't."

"The nightmare...."

"It wasn't a nightmare." I admitted before I knew what I was saying. I reluctantly straightened and looked back into her concerned face. "It...it wasn't a nightmare and it didn't have anything to do with you." It was a bold face lie, but one I hoped would ease the look of trepidation from her features.

"But you called my name."

"Riley...please I don't want to ...I just want to enjoy this. I don't want to think about things." I was purposely leading her to believe that I was dreaming about stuff in LA, when in actuality I was dreaming about her screwing the hell out of me. Welcome to an all-new low Foster Everett.

"I understand."

"Thank you," I said and tried not to look as grateful as I felt. I leapt on the first safe topic I could think of. "So tell me about this comic book business."

Riley shrugged. "Well Dani could tell you more about it than I could."

"So, she's a writer then?"

"Yup, she writes and draws comic books."

"So where do you come into it?"

"Well I was just her model." I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was embarrassed and sure enough one glance out from under my lashes confirmed the fact. She nervously twisted the front of her t-shirt and let it go only to grab it again to twist it in the opposite direction.

"Just her model, huh?"

"Yeah, when I first moved here with my brother and mother I met her at school. She was the first person that took any interest in me. We were really close until she joined the Army."

"How close?"

Riley shrugged. "Really close I guess. When she started out she would do sketches of me for my brother. You know as...as a superhero. He loved it so we just sort of kept doing it. She kind of toyed with the idea of going to art school for a while but went into the Army, instead."

"You must have missed her?" I pried gently.

"I cried every day for a week." The ache that one statement caused in my chest was enough to make me wonder if it had been a good idea to even start this line of conversation.

"She was my best friend. We looked after each other. I told her things that I never told anyone else."

"Well, I want you to know that you can tell me things too." She smiled at me and I could tell that she was thinking that it wasn't the same thing.

"You can talk to me too you know."

I wanted to open up to her, but I couldn't. What I really wanted to do was forget that part of my life and move on. There was an awkward silence as I pretended to be enrapt in some private thought complete with thoughtful gaze and furrowed brow. If I hadn't been wanted for Canniff's murder, I would have told Riley to take my ass to Hollywood. I had heard "Days of Our Lives" was always hiring.

"So are any of Dani's comics here?" I asked her, desperate to end the uncomfortable silence.

"No, I wish there were. I love her comics but it's sort of embarrassing to see myself on the covers, you know. My brother Brad has them all though. He had Dani and I autograph them. Some of them are worth some money now."

Ahhh so Brad is her little brother. The gloomy day suddenly had new light.

"Hey do you really want to see some of them? There are some scripts that she wrote while we were up here working on this place. There is no artwork, just a few sketches, but would you like to see them, anyway?"

"Sure." I had to admit the covers of the ones that I had seen at the store did sort of intrigue me. Well hell, Riley in tight leather and sunglasses, looking mean as hell would intrigue anyone with a pulse.

"Okay, I'll give them to you when we get back in the house." She seemed to have something on her mind and I was going to ask her about it but she abruptly started to talk again. "Uh... do you want to take a walk or something? This is a private road, there isn't anyone else on it."

I nodded, my thoughts still cloudy, as I followed her off the deck and toward the dirt path. Large logs edged the path. They soon stopped however, and the only things alerting me to the fact that we weren't in the deep woods were the road we were on and the barely visible telephone poles

"How did you meet Dani?" I asked Riley as I picked up a small rock from the ground.

"We had a class together."

I nodded and tossed the rock as hard as I could down the trail and waited for it to hit. "So you guys met and just started talking?"

"Well yeah, I saw her drawing a picture of the Incredible Hulk. I used to have this thing for Lou Ferrigno."

"Used to?"

I grinned at her and she smiled back. "He was sort of a role model."

"Is that why you started lifting weights?"

"One of the reasons," she said so quietly that I glanced up to see if she was okay. Her mouth was tightly pursed and a muscle flexed rhythmically in her jaw.

"Hey?" I put my hand on her shoulder causing her to look at me with that disturbingly intense gaze. "I wasn't trying to pry." I chuckled nervously. The reason I knew about Riley's infatuation with Lou Ferrigno was because I had seen his picture on the back of the door ...while I was prying. "What I mean is, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," she said gruffly and continued to walk. I stopped and watched her for a moment. I had never seen Riley really angry. Even when I had handcuffed her on the floor of my apartment she still kept her voice at a moderate level. Although she wasn't flying of the handle like I'm prone to do when I'm angry, I could tell I had touched a nerve with my line of questioning.

"Hey Riley, can you wait up a minute?" I had to jog to catch up with her because she didn't slow her pace. I thought about apologizing again but changed my mind. Instead I decided to deploy a little used strategy of mine. The "shut the fuck up and listen" strategy.

Sure enough we had taken about four more steps together when Riley began to speak in a voice that sounded like it hadn't been used in years. "I was very skinny and I didn't speak much."

I looked up at her tall imposing figure and then back at the path. I wanted to express disbelief that she was ever anything but the strong woman that I now walked beside. The not speaking much thing, well, it wasn't a surprise. She hadn't started speaking to me until recently and we were on the run together.

"My father...."

I never thought two words could display so much pain. But when Riley said "my father", I felt a sense of sadness so deep that I wanted to hold her close to me. Two things were clear to me before she even spoke her next words. Riley loved her father and he was no longer living.

"My father died when I was nine." I used to think that I knew what it felt like to lose a parent. The deep resentment that I felt for my mother burned in the back of my mind constantly. I used it to get me through a lot of tough times emotionally. Anger can be a powerful force. Even more powerful than love. But the utter sadness that I could feel emanating from Riley was nothing like what I felt for my mother. Riley Medeiros had known the love of a parent that had been taken away from her. Not someone who put on their Sunday best and left with a cross-country trucker like my mother had.

"I'm sorry, Riley."

She looked at me and nodded her head. "Me too."

"So your father worked out?" I asked her trying to keep her from pulling away from me into a well of sadness that I sensed she descended into often.

"Nooo." She smiled down at me fondly before kicking a pinecone off the path, the smile fading from her lips as she continued to talk. "My father was a pilot in the Air Force. He died during some routine testing. Some kind of faulty part caused his plane to go down. After he died...I stopped talking for a while."

"What do you mean you stopped talking?"

She shrugged. "I just ...stopped."

I wanted to question her further. Did she mean she completely stopped, sort of stopped, or what? The idea that someone would willingly not speak left me completely befuddled. I have talked since I was two years old. I don't mean baby talk; I mean complete sentences designed to get me anything and everything I wanted. My words got me in to and out of any situation, as I deemed necessary.

"The kids where I lived would pick on me. You know hit me because of it. I was hurt a lot. They would play who could make me cry out by hitting me." Riley looked down at me for a moment and then away. "I never did."

I felt my fingers curl into my palms. I felt sure that I would see little crescent creases in them if I were to look. "Didn't anyone see it or stop it? What about your mother?"

"She was too...busy to care."

"So you started to work out because you got picked on a lot?" I asked, curiously drawn to her more now by her admission.

"Well it didn't start out that way at first. I...I started to get taller when I was in the sixth grade. By the time I was in the eighth, I was already taller than anyone else in my school including most of the teachers."

"That didn't make them scared of you?"

Riley pursed her lips and shook her head vigorously. "No. I think they believed the bigger they are, the harder they fall." I turned away blinking. I had said something similar many times myself, but I had never hurt anyone without provocation. I squeezed my eyes shut as the vision of a blonde man in white boxer shorts, pouting up at me, flashed in my memory. A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"Foster? You don't have to be sorry it was a long time ago. I'm glad that it turned out the way it did."

I was tempted to let the subject go, but Riley seemed willing to talk and I suddenly felt the need to know everything about her that she was willing to share. "So is that why you got so angry when everyone was laughing in the club that night?"

She looked at me sharply, her eyes focusing on my lips and causing me to wish I had not brought it up. "I mean, you did have a good reason but I was just wondering if that had something to do with it." She was so quiet for so long that I thought she wasn't going to answerer me. I refused to look at her again. I didn't want to be hit with that all seeing gaze of hers, so I kept my eyes positioned on the road before us and waited for her to speak.

"Yes. I don't like to be laughed at."

I nodded and decided to push my luck. "Is that what happened in the hospital too? Were they teasing you about something?"

Riley looked at the florescent pink cast on her wrist before answering. "I saw them talking."

As I said before I have never been one to hold my tongue. Hell, I would hold whole conversations with myself when I was a kid. My father was convinced that I was on every drug on the street by the age of ten. But something told me that it was more important for me to be there for Riley than to speak, so I waited.

" They were saying that no man would want me and that it was probably for the best because I could never get one looking like I do."

I clenched my teeth and asked, "What else did they say?"

"They thought it would be funny to give me the pink cast because I'm not...feminine." Almost to belie her words she reached up and delicately removed a piece of hair that had blown across her face. For some reason this struck me as incredibly feminine. In fact, as strong as Riley was, there was nothing at all manly about her. I, upon occasion, could be damn manly when I wanted to be. But Riley? No, I didn't think of her as anything but a woman. I was angry that two strangers that were supposedly there to help her had made her feel badly about herself.

"Riley, I know it's hard when people say stupid shit like that. But trust me, you are definitely... I think you will have no trouble getting a man. I mean if you wanted one that is or...anything else you wanted."

Shit so much for my verbal prowess. She slowed her pace, a small smile playing at the edges of her mouth. I met her eyes briefly before turning away.

"Is there something else to want, Foster?"

"Uh no, I guess not. Um... what I mean is if you like men. I mean if you wanted a man, I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble getting one."

"You don't think so?" she asked with a real smile on her face this time.

When I saw her smile, I almost forgave the fact that she was making me squirm. I couldn't believe I was allowing myself to be teased like this. I'm the one who did the teasing and...well shit, that's just the way it was.

"Uh no, I think you could have mostly anyone you want."

"Oh."

Good God. Please let her let it go! There was a moment of silence that I would've called awkward but she may have considered companionable. If I would have looked behind us I'm sure there would have been a brick in the middle of the road, and it wouldn't have been made of clay. If you get my drift.

"Hey Foster, I want to show you something." She pulled me by the hand off the path and down a small slope that led to another less defined path. It was only wide enough for us to walk single file, but Riley hung on to my hand as we walked, making me feel slightly warm but happy. I tugged on her hand so that I could see those lovely eyes of hers.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked pleased to note that she no longer looked so sad.

"You'll see. Trust me." she said seriously

"Trust her she says," I said out loud but after receiving no response from Riley, I squeezed her hand and as she turned around stuck my tongue out at her. This earned me the silent laughter and a shake of the head. I grinned happily, mission accomplished. As I followed her down the path I used the moment to study her body with more interest. Nice ass, nice calves, nice legs, great back, shoulders and arms, nice everything I thought. I personally was hanging on to what little definition that I still had. Thanks to genetics and a high metabolism I had never had to worry about what others thought of me. But Riley well...she made me very self-conscious.

"Look."

She pointed and I inhaled as a fine spray of salty water hit me.

"Riley, this is beautiful," I crowed as I looked out over the ocean. The path that we'd walked down had led us to the beach below. Although it didn't have much sand, it was covered with small rocks all the way into the sea.

Because I was still holding on to her uninjured hand, Riley pointed with her cast. "See those rocks?" I nodded my head. "I used to fish from there. You should see it when the water hits the rocks up there. It makes this huge rainbow." I grinned at her enthusiasm causing her to look away. "Well, I think it's pretty anyway," she said a little less exuberantly.

I tugged the hand that I hadn't bothered to let go of. "Thank you for showing me this. It's beautiful. Maybe we can get some fishing poles and fish one day if you like."

"I would like that."

"So would I."

I kept smiling at her as she turned to look at me. "Riley, I ..." I stopped myself because I had no idea what I was going to say. This woman seemed to bring out the worst in me.

I pretended to be distracted as a hard wave crashed against the rocks. When I looked back, her eyes were already focused on my mouth. She was standing so close I had to tilt my head back to look up at her. I closed my eyes and waited for her to kiss me.

When no kiss came, I opened my eyes and looked into very confused blue ones.

"Foster?"

Oh shit, I thought as I backed away from her, mortification making me light headed. She hadn't been about to kiss me at all. The look on her face told me all I needed to know. I turned and as quickly as I could, walked back up the path, resisting the urge to look back at her. I was certain she still wore that look of utter confusion she'd had when I had first opened my eyes.

I stomped angrily back up the long road toward the cabin. I thought I heard her call out to me once, but didn't bother to turn around. She knew where I would be; after all, I had nowhere else to go. She probably thought I was making a pass at her or something. Which I was, I guess.

"Foster!"

I heard her clearly now and couldn't keep my back from stiffening. I walked faster as I saw the cabin roof appear through the trees. I was such an idiot. Why would anyone want to get involved with me at this point? I didn't have anything to offer her but a sob story and a mediocre attempt at sex. No not mediocre, I would have...Oh shut up, I yelled internally.

I stomped onto the burgundy, sun bleached deck and walked around to the double doors leading to the bedroom. Turning the knob, I was disappointed to find it locked. Godamnit, why was Riley so damn security conscious. Who in the hell would break into a cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere? I walked to the railing that had obviously been put up by Riley and Dani for safety reasons and stared angrily out at the ocean. I let the salty air coax one tear from my eye before I ruthlessly scrubbed it away. Feeling sorry for myself was not something I wanted to start again. I had done that after the Canniff incident. It was a long road back to halfway living and it wasn't going to get any easier if I let myself get caught up in fruitless feelings for a woman who obviously didn't return them.

"Foster?"

"Look Riley, I'm..." I never finished my sentence. I was pulled into the same warm, comforting embrace that I remembered from last night. Her lips covered mine and gently pressed into me until, with a sigh, I opened my mouth. She tentatively explored my mouth as I wondered at the taste of chocolate and mint. She squeezed me once and deepened the kiss. I resisted the urge to open my eyes. I wanted to see her expression, I wondered if she had that same confused look on her face she'd had earlier. It sure felt like she knew what she was doing. Okay, Foster you can safely rule out the straight factor. This woman had to have been kissing women for years and if she doesn't stop kissing me now I'm going to pass out.

Finally, the pressure lightened and she slowly eased her lips from mine. I opened my mouth and an embarrassingly loud gasp escaped. I had forgotten to breath while she was kissing me. I turned away from her and looked out at the water as I tried to catch my breath.

"Will you talk to me, now?" she asked causing me to jump as I visualized turning in to that kiss again. I nodded and felt, rather than saw, her step down so that she was standing next to me. I felt the warmth of her fingertips against my chin. "Please, look at me?"

My heart started that traitorous pounding again as her eyes locked on my lips causing them to quiver. "Foster..."

Someone cleared their throat. I pulled my face away from Riley's, instinctively reaching for the guns that I should have been wearing but wasn't. I had let myself be lulled into a false sense of safety by Riley's assurance that no one was around.

A small, muscular blonde was leaning against the side of the cabin. Her eyes were hidden behind black sunglasses, her muscular stomach visible under the skimpy t-shirt she wore even on this chilly day. She and Riley must have the same source of constant heat running through their bodies. From what I could garner she wore her hair straight back in one long braided ponytail as Riley did. She would be considered more than pretty in most people's book if she looked a little more approachable. Her mouth looked like it rarely smiled although she didn't look unkind, just serious. The motorcycle helmet that she carried tucked underneath her muscular arm was as black as the rest of the clothing she wore. She removed her sunglasses and I could see that her eyes were blue and she looked faintly amused at having caught us in a rather awkward position. I looked up at Riley, to check her response, just in time to see her turn and look in the direction of our unexpected guest.

Utter delight spread across her face as she chortled "Dani!" and bounded up on to the deck to sweep the smaller woman up into her arms.

Dani, I thought darkly. Things were just starting to get interesting and who should show up but the infamous Dani, looking like she was the smaller, blonder version of Riley herself. I'm starting to think someone up there has it in for me.

I watched jealously as Riley held the smaller woman aloft, grinning so hard it made me wince. She finally sat the woman down, still grinning, and to my surprise her grin was returned. The blonde gave Riley a buddy slap to her taught abdomen.

"You've been hitting them hard, huh?"

Riley nodded. "What are you doing here, Dani?"

Dani shrugged and looked embarrassed. "I wanted to see you, squirt. I haven't seen you in forever."

I smirked. Riley was not going to like being called squirt, I was sure of that. So I folded my arms and waited for the blow up that never came. "I know. The last year kicked my butt. I had to double up on some classes so I wouldn't have to stay another semester."

I was starting to feel slightly ignored when Riley grabbed Dani's hand and pulled her toward me. "Dani, there's someone I want you to meet." I could see that Dani was not as enthused as Riley was about the introductions. The feeling is mutual, sister.

Still, I held out my hand and waited for her to shake it. For some reason I expected her to give me a death grip, but she didn't. Instead she shook it firmly, her hand dry and firm as her blue eyes met mine.

"Dani, this is Foster. Foster, Dani, my best friend."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely. What I really wanted to do was grill her on exactly how far she and Riley had taken their friendship. I probably wasn't the only one that had played doctor with my friends as a child. The idea of Riley doing that with this blonde dynamo made me feel, well... betrayed.

"N...nice to m...meet you too." I blinked in surprise. Was she cold or something? Her voice was about as deep as Riley's, if not deeper. Although I was partial to Riley's particular huskiness, I could see where her's could be considered attractive too. Realizing that I was probably staring, I glanced up at Riley. She was looking at me as if she expected me to say something else, so I racked my brain for something sociable to say. I barely refrained from asking her how long she was staying, when Riley chimed in.

"Everything okay, Dani?"

"F...fine." She answered. There it was again. This woman was either incredibly nervous or she had a stuttering problem. Not that it mattered, but it was odd that Riley hadn't mentioned it. Of course its not like I've given her a chance to talk about her friends or family, I thought regretfully. Everything was all about my troubles and me. I felt guilty that I had never even asked about Dani, and what I knew about Riley's mother and brother was meager at best. I was interrupted from my reverie by Riley's serious voice.

"Foster, would you mind letting me speak to Dani?"

Riley reached into her pocket and handed me a set of keys. I glanced up at my tall friend and was tempted to tell her to go right ahead and talk, but I reluctantly nodded. "Dani, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too, Foster," was said clearly this time. I returned her smile and, unlocking the bedroom doors, entered the cabin. As I closed the doors behind me, the wind carried Riley's voice.

"What's wrong?" I heard her say.

I resisted the urge to leave the door open. Almost as if to make sure that I wouldn't hear anything, a low engine began to hum. It had been so dark when Riley and I had arrived at the cabin that I hadn't been able to ascertain the origin of the humming noise then. I'd assumed it was a generator or something. Now I realized that it was a Jacuzzi. Small tufts of steam seeped up through its brown weathered cover. Dani had probably turned it on for Riley when she had come out to air out the cabin. Irrationally I wondered if she had expected to catch Riley here alone. I looked to the right to see if I could get a glimpse of Riley and Dani, but they must have moved toward the front of the cabin because they were no longer in my view.

I backed away from the window with a sigh and turned to look at the room. I felt the need to keep busy so I made the bed, folded my sleeping things and set them on the bureau next to Riley's already neatly folded clothing. I noted Riley's wallet sitting on the table by her side of the bed. With mammoth control, I resisted the urge to go through it. Riley carried a small neoprene pouch in lieu of a wallet. I had seen her pull money out of it when we had stopped to get snacks and gas. I turned away from the little pouch when my fingers started to tingle. It wouldn't do for Riley to find me going through her wallet, so instead I treated myself to going through the drawers. I was disappointed though; there was barely anything in them. A sweatshirt, some cut off sweats and a pair of gray ski socks were about all I scored. I sighed and looked at the clock on the end table.

Most people go to cabins to rest. Well here's a news flash... this shit is boring. I grew up in the city. The peace and quiet of this place scared me. Sure it was beautiful, but once you've seen everything, you've seen it. Know what I mean?

I noticed that the built in wall unit had cabinets and I couldn't resist looking inside. I nearly crowed when I came across an all in one 13-inch TV/VCR set up similar to the one that was in Pistol Pete's hotel room. The thought of Pete caused me to pause my exploration. I wondered if I had been formally charged yet or if they were still looking for me. God Marcus, I hope like hell you're not still digging cause if they catch you, you're screwed my friend, I thought as I looked around the top shelf for a remote to turn on the TV. My hand ran over a smooth flat card of some sort and I pulled it down. It was a picture. I looked at it curiously as I absently rubbed the dust from my hands to my pants. The picture looked as though it had been taken a few years earlier. In it was a younger, smiling Dani, a brunette holding a baby, and a man in a pair of coveralls. They where all looking down at the baby. I wondered idly if this was a family portrait, but decided against it. The couple didn't look like they were quite old enough to be Dani's parents, although she did slightly resemble the man. I put the picture back as I had found it and continued my search. My fingers ran through several dust bunnies as I went and I found myself wishing for the endless supply of rubber gloves Smitty and I used to keep in our trunk, when my hand finally came across the remote.

"Score!" I murmured happily to myself. I never watched television. It was depressing the number of shows dealing with cop shit now. Who in the hell found that shit entertaining, anyway? Hell all I ever wanted to do was escape from it when I got home. Knowing the kind of shit people did to each other made it hard for me to sleep at night. It was probably the main reason I never really enjoyed my job. When I was a uniformed cop I had seen my partner get knocked on the head when he was trying to cuff an abusive husband. The thing is, the wife had called us because he had been kicking her ass for the better part of the day. When we arrived she already looked like someone had done a combination of the Riverdance and Lord of the Dance on her face. I don't know what she thought we were going to do, but once we had him handcuffed he started crying. I guess her protective instincts kicked in, because ignoring the screaming and grubby child that had probably been sitting in his high chair for God knows how long, she started whaling on my partner. I finally had to punch her in the face and handcuff her to get her to stop. On the way in her husband pleaded his case by pointing out that the only way I could get her to listen to me had been to punch her in the face. We took them both down to division and booked them for domestic abuse, she also got charged with assaulting an officer. We were called back to that household two more times before I was promoted to detective.

I clicked on the remote and upon getting snow pushed the purple arrows indicating right and left. After flipping through a good thirty channels, it became obvious to me that I wasn't going to be watching any TV. I squatted down and looked hopefully in the bottom cabinet for some videos. All I found were three glass swans, their necks twisted in different graceful directions.

Riley had said that she and Dani were the only ones that really came here, the swans didn't seem like they would belong to either of them. But hell, the whole comic book thing was sort of different too.

I closed the cabinets and looked around. I had already made the bed so there wasn't much more I could do but sit there like an idiot. Riley had been outside with Dani for nearly twenty minutes. What the hell were they talking about?

I was pretty sure that Riley wouldn't tell her about me, but I couldn't help but feel nervous. My mind was still on the mysterious Dani as I walked into the living room to get our bags. I figured since we would be there for a while I would go ahead and start unpacking our...well most of it was Riley's, stuff. I had bent down to pick up the bags when I noticed that there were a few documents stacked on a shelf just above the small table. I stepped up into the kitchen and pulled them down. They were bound scripts by the look of them. I noted the title at the top and in the middle, the name Dani Kent. "Hmm, I guess she never goes by Danielle, just Dani." I shrugged and turned back toward the living room. There were four scripts in all, each no more than thirty pages or so. I figured I could start reading until Riley got back. I looked up from the scripts so that I could step down into the living room. Through the glass double doors, sitting on a bench similar to the one just outside of the bedroom, I saw Dani and Riley. Riley was holding her tightly and both of them had their eyes closed. I quietly picked up one of Riley's bags and took it into the bedroom, sat down on a chair and stared at nothing.

"I wonder if they had a fight," I said aloud. I shouldn't have felt hurt or betrayed but I did. Riley and I had shared a kiss. She was a nice woman that was willing to help me until I got my shit together that's all. I put my head in my hands and swallowed down my disappointment. I didn't feel up to unpacking so I climbed up on the ridiculously tall bed and leaned back against the pillows. You should see Dani climb into this thing. I should have known there was something more there. How could I? She's never told me anything about herself.

I picked up the comic script almost as an after thought. I was prepared to rip into the childishness of the medium just to make myself feel better. But instead, I found myself engrossed. The script, along with the sketches that Dani had drawn next to some of the verbiage, had me enthralled in moments and I grudgingly had to tip my hat to her writing prowess as a feeling of utter creepiness settled in on me like the kind you get when watching a scary movie late at night. Yet it was broad daylight and here I was creeped out by the goings on in a twenty three-page comic book script. I finished the preview and the number one issue. My brow furrowed. I really didn't want to like them, but I was finding myself enchanted by the whole story and its characters. My enjoyment was only tempered by the fact that the two characters might just possibly be modeled after Dani and Riley. I shook my head and decided to let real life go for a few minutes because it was giving me a major headache. I would simply ask Riley about it when she came in. I looked at the clock by the side of the bed, it was already after one; they had been out there talking for over an hour.

I picked up the second issue and started reading. At some point my eyes started to droop and I tried to prop myself up with a pillow. I wanted to be awake when Riley finally came in. My body was craving sleep more than I thought though, and I was finding it almost impossible to keep my eyes open. I decided I would take a quick fifteen-minute nap before reading the third comic.

* * *

The sound of a motorcycle revving woke me. I looked over at the clock and started when I noted that it was nearing three o'clock. I sat up and looked around, momentarily disoriented. The door in the front room opened and moments later a smiling Riley entered.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself," I said unable to keep jealousy from creeping into my voice even though I gave her what I think was a passable, congenial smile. "How'd your talk with Dani go?"

"Good I think, are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, because I can...?"

"Look I'm fine, okay?" I snapped causing her to step back warily.

"Okay." She said the word as if any slight mispronunciation would send me off the deep end.

"I'm sorry." I felt bad. It wasn't her fault I was feeling less than adequate. "I wake up grouchy sometimes after a long nap. I rarely get any sleep, so when I do, my mind doesn't know how to act."

"It's okay," Riley said in her deep careful voice, but I could see that she was still a bit hurt by my snappishness. She sat down in the chair that was next to the door.

"Why did Dani come out?" I asked casually as I turned to face her.

"She needed to talk to me."

"I thought you guys came here for peace and quiet?"

"She didn't know you were here with me if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, so you didn't tell her?"

"No, I thought you said you wanted to keep it a secret?" Riley had a slight frown creasing her forehead. I could tell she didn't see where I was going with my questioning which made two of us.

"I just thought it was odd that she would come up here is all. You said you guys never spend time up here together."

"We don't. This place is so that we can be alone and think, not socialize."

"Okay, so that's my point. Why would she come up here while you're here?"

Riley's mouth tightened. "Foster, she came up here because she wanted to make sure I was okay." Riley threw a white bank envelope on the bed, her tone emotionless as she spoke. It reminded me of the tone she used when talking to strangers, if she bothered to speak to them at all. I felt a certain amount of regret at hearing it used with me.

She obviously wanted me to look inside the envelope, so I opened it. There were several crisp twenty and fifty dollar bills inside. All of them facing in the same direction, all brand spanking new, and all with the huge presidential faces that were meant to make them counterfeit proof; but to me it only succeeded in making American money even more ugly than it already was.

"Shit Riley, there has to be over five thousand dollars here!"

"Five thousand five hundred." She corrected emotionlessly as she looked down at the floor. "I came in to tell you we were going to go into town, but you were sleeping."

"So your friend just gives you fifty five hundred dollars and leaves?" I was getting angry and it wasn't over the money. It was because of the kiss, because of the fact that Riley Medeiros had kissed me and as soon as her best friend walked on the scene, it was as if it never happened.

It suddenly occurred to me that Riley might have kissed me because she thought I wanted her too. I flashed on myself a few years back, leaning in to reluctantly kiss women that I had been seeing before biding them goodnight. As their doors closed my hand would, of its own accord, go up and wipe my mouth as if I had been given the cooties. It had only happened a few times, I had not even thought of it much afterward, but now... the thought that Riley would do that to me hurt like hell. Suddenly, I just wanted her out of my face.

"So you have your friends give you money all the time, Riley?" I asked her bitingly. I expected anger, maybe a fuck you or two, but not the look of pure rage that crossed her face.

"I have never taken one cent from Dani... never!"

"Then why the hell would you start now?" I yelled back at her, hating myself for starting the fight yet unable to stop myself from adding tinder to the burning flame.

Riley lurched up from her chair and snatched her pouch from the bureau. "You want to know why I took her money?" Her voice was so deep now that I could hardly understand what she was saying. She stopped in front of the bed and emptied the contents of her pouch onto my lap. I looked down as her driver license, a student ID, and a social security card along with ten dollars, a few dimes and a penny with a nasty looking green patina landed in my lap.

"I have ten fucking dollars, Foster!" I jumped as she said the word "Fucking." My mouth was probably created in the gutter, but I had never heard Riley say so much as "damn" since I had known her. "That's all I have to my name, and I bet you that's ten more dollars than you have!"

She was right but I just glared at her unwilling to give in and unwilling to admit my jealousy. You ever been in an argument with someone and realized that you were totally in the wrong and should probably stop right there and apologize, but instead you keep going because you don't know how to say you're sorry? Well I think that's what was going on with me at that moment because what I wanted to do was beg her to tell me why she was holding Dani like that so soon after kissing me and with me only a few feet away. But what I said was....

"Why in the fuck did you kiss me, anyway?" The question was meant to hurt and I instantly felt ashamed of myself when I saw the pain in her eyes. It was quickly hidden, or should I say covered, by anger. The side of her mouth quivered and a look of disgust crossed her face.

"Why did you want me to?" she bit out before turning away and walking out the double doors and onto the deck. She didn't bother to close the door. I watched as she went to the edge of the deck and gripping the rail, stared out at the ocean. A gust of wind blew past her filling her shirt with air and causing her to shiver. I wanted to comfort her, tell her it was all my fault and that I had been jealous. But in order to do that, I would have to own up to the growing feelings that I had for her. I wasn't ready for that. Why had I wanted her to kiss me?

I slid down off the bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I sat on the closed toilet lid and clawed my fingers through my strangely short hair. I was a mess and I was taking it out on Riley. I wanted something that I had never had. For me, a faithful lover was like a myth. Something lesbians wished for and claimed they had, but never really did. I had seen Stacy and her girlfriend as they practically cooed at each other in front of people, and then as soon as she was gone I had seen Stacy make a pass at someone else. I had known several women who acted as if they were joined at the fucking hip with their partners because they were too afraid to take a step alone. Swearing fidelity when every last one of them secretly wanted more than they were ever willing to share with the other. I never wanted that. I would have been happy alone until then. Until her.

I heard the doors in the bedroom shut and then nothing. Then I heard Riley's boots clump past the bedroom and into the living room. Standing up quickly, I turned on the water to the shower right before I heard a soft knock on the bathroom's solid door.

"Foster?" she called softly but I didn't answer. And indeed if I had really been in the shower, I probably wouldn't have heard her. I waited to see if she would continue to knock but she didn't. I sat back down on the toilet, my hands on top of my head as if to protect myself from fall out from above. Had I imagined the sadness in her voice? I really wanted to talk to her but I was afraid I would do something stupid like tell her the truth.

I stood up and stripped my clothes, or should I say Dani's clothes, and stepped under the needles of water. I stayed that way, head down eyes closed, until the water became tepid and then borderline freezing. I turned off the showers and stood there listening. I didn't hear anything so I stepped out, grabbed one of the navy blue towels from the shelf and dried myself off. I didn't bother with my hair; it was so short that it took no time to dry. I glanced around the small bathroom that was now cloaked in steam and, wiping the mirror clear, looked at myself.

I didn't really like what I saw. Since when had I become so callous? Testy maybe, but not outright cruel. I had really hurt Riley. Maybe hurt her pride and I, of all people, knew how awful that felt. I took a deep breath and decided to face the music. My old clothes were damp from the steam and I refused to put them back on, so fastening the towel tightly around my breast, I eased the door open. Crisp air hit my still damp skin causing me to inhale sharply, then I stepped out into the hall and looked from the living room to the bedroom, even taking a few steps to the right to make sure Riley wasn't in the kitchen.

I walked into the bedroom and noted that the envelop with the money was still on the bed where Riley had tossed it. Her pouch with her driver license and the change was gone, however. I walked quickly into the kitchen and peered out the window. Riley's truck was gone. I felt a momentary spark of fear and sadness before it occurred to me to go look for her things. I walked swiftly into the bedroom, no longer bothering to clutch the towel to my nude body and noted with relief that her bags were still there. With some curiosity I quickly counted the wad of bills on the bed. Riley had said there was fifty-five hundred so she must have taken at least three hundred with her. Sighing, I decided to get dressed. I pulled on my jeans and one of Riley's college sweatshirts. I did feel guilty about going through her bag, but she had told me to help myself. I just didn't know if I was still welcome. I pushed away the thoughts, walked outside and sat down on the edge of the deck.

It really was a beautiful place. I didn't even remember if I had thanked her properly for bringing me here. The dull ache that had been building up in my chest was now too strong for me to deny. Why had I said those things to her? Why couldn't I just shut the fuck up and be happy that Dani was gone and I was still here. Why had she kissed me?

Folding my arms in front of my chest, I leaned forward as I had as a child when I didn't want to go inside to get a coat. Hell, now I didn't have a coat. Like Riley said, I didn't have shit and she didn't have much more. I sighed heavily. If the situation were reversed I would have done the same thing. I would have done what I had to do to take care of Riley. Stacy had said that Riley had had two jobs and had put herself through school. Of course she would have never taken money from anyone if it were just her, but she had me...she was trying to take care of me. The selflessness of it made me hurt more. I had never been one to go out of my way. I wouldn't borrow a dime for anyone except myself. I think I was more the norm than Riley was.

"Goddamn it, Riley. Why can't you be like everybody else?" I said out loud. But the question was carried away by the increasingly gusty winds. I looked up just as Riley backed the cruiser into the gravel next to the cabin. I wanted to walk over to her but I refrained, telling myself that I would give her some space. I heard her step up on the deck, heard the crinkle of a paper bag as she stopped walking. I felt the need to turn and look at her because I knew she was looking at me, but I ignored the urge and continued to gaze out at the Pacific Ocean. She made two more trips from the car to the cabin before I heard her footsteps approaching from behind. She sat down next to me and neither of us spoke as the wind billowed around us like ghosts playing with our hair.

"You don't even have any shoes, Foster." Her tone was pleading, as if she needed to explain herself to me.

"I know." I hoped like hell she didn't feel like I did because this hurt even more than getting kicked in the ribs. I fucked up so bad.

"I..."Her voice sounded gruff. She probably thought so too because she stopped to clear her throat. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight anymore," she said and I felt something tap me on my enfolded hands. I looked down at the red and yellow package of a dual Slim Jim and then back up at Riley who was still staring out at the ocean.

I took the Slim Jim from her, gripping it tightly in my hand before tearing it along the perforation and offering her one half of it. She shook her head. "It's for you."

I thought it was the sweetest thing she could have ever done and I was feeling like a big wussie. I didn't even think Riley knew what a Slim Jim was. "You don't need to be sorry, Riley. You didn't do anything wrong. I... it was all my fault."

She didn't respond so I, like a child who's been given a lollipop so they would stop crying, began the difficult task of opening the Slim Jim with my teeth. I wasn't really hungry but it gave me something to do while I waited for her to say something. Or maybe she was waiting for me. I bit into the spicy treat and chewed vigorously.

"Why did you want me to kiss you?"

"Huh?" The "huh" was reaction more than anything. I had heard what she said but it gave me time to think while she repeated herself.

"Down at the beach, you wanted me to kiss you. Why?"

"I don't know, it seemed like it was the right thing to do at the time," I said lamely and seeing the look of disappointment that she wasn't successful in hiding, I recanted. "I just wanted you to kiss me. I didn't really think about it much, it's just...how I felt."

"Did you like the kiss at the club?" she asked and I frowned. Why did she sound so damn unsure? Hell, if we hadn't had an audience, I would have probably been on my knees with my ass in the air, like a cat in heat.

"I loved the kiss at the club." Suddenly I was the one feeling insecure. "Did you?"

"Yeah I... yes, very much." I nodded and swallowed the piece of meat I had been holding in my jaw. It suddenly occurred to me that I was making myself very unkissable by chomping on the Slim Jim. In fact I was suddenly wishing for a change in wind direction because I was sure Riley was being treated to my halitosis at that very moment.

"Good, I did too."

If she was feeling anything like I was, she was wishing for a piece of lined paper and a few boxes that said: You like me? I like you. Check yes or no. "When...when we were down on the beach you looked at me like...well like you didn't understand why I thought you would kiss me." I said badly before taking another bite of my nearly depleted treat as I shivered. It was a half-assed attempt to find out if she was or wasn't interested in women, but hell, I wasn't exactly at the top of my game at the moment.

Riley moved a little closer to me, almost as if she didn't realize she was doing it. "I thought you weren't interested in women with hard asses."

I started choking on my beef jerky. With a concerned frown she slapped me on the back until I stopped. Eyes watering and my voice a little weaker than normal I asked, "Where the hell did you hear that?"

I looked up to see her staring broodingly out at the ocean.

"Riley," I said gently and turned her face toward me. I ignored the urge to kiss her again as her eyes locked on my lips. "Where did you hear that?"

"You said it, Foster."

"I did not!" Under her disbelieving stare I was forced to explain. "I did, but that's not what I meant."

She looked away again and I sat up straight. She looked so hurt. "Who told you that Riley, did Stacy?" She didn't answer me and I had to raise my voice over the gusting of the wind. I turned her to face me again. "Riley, who told you I said that?"

"Nobody. I saw you say it at Secrets."

"You saw?" I frowned then had a flashback of me talking to Stacy and looking at Riley through the mirrors at Secrets.

"You read my lips?" She nodded and I released her chin and allowed her to look back out at the sea.

"Riley," I paused because she was still not looking at me. "Riley, please." I reached for her chin again and turned her around probably using a bit more force then I should have. Her eyes met mine frantically as the ocean air blew past us, moaning loudly as it passed through the rocky area. Her eyes locked on my lips and I opened my mouth to apologize when questions that should have occurred to me before hit me with the force of a sledgehammer.

Riley's deep uninflected voice, her habit of staring at my lips, her ability to read lips and even her hero worship of Lou Ferrigno. I had seen him on TV once talking about his bodybuilding and his hearing impairment. Although Riley's speech pattern was not as distinctive as his, there was definitely something there. I loved her voice. I had no reason to wonder at its origins.

A sob left my throat before I could stop it and I struggled to make myself calm down. Riley started to shake her head as if denying the question that I had yet to ask. She reached out and I grabbed both of her biceps to stop her. The muscles beneath my hands tensed as if she was preparing for a blow.

"Foster, calm down, please don't cry." I heard her say as if from far off, but I shook my head.

I reached up and grabbed Riley's face in my hands. I wanted to know and I wasn't going to let her get away without telling me. "Riley." She tried to pull away from me but I held her face firmly as I repeated her name. The wind had teased her hair from its neat braid and she looked scared and rumpled. The tears were running unchecked down my cheeks as I felt her hesitate. Finally, I asked, "Riley...can you hear me?"

She nodded but two tears slipped from her cheeks and I knew there was more to it than she was telling me. Was she hiding this from me? She had no reason to. I cared about her, I would never... "Are you deaf or something?" I heard it as if I was saying it aloud again. The pain in her eyes was almost tangible and I had caused it. I silently begged her for forgiveness even though I would never forgive myself. Her body started to shake quietly and I wrapped her in my arms as best I could as she cried soundlessly.

They would hit me until I made a sound. I never did.

I cried harder my face buried in her t-shirt. Unlike her, I cried with great wrenching sobs, "I'm so sorry, baby. Please don't cry," I whispered because my throat was too tight to speak any louder, and then I cried harder, because I didn't know if she could hear me.

I am not a touchy person but at that moment, on that day, I felt the need to be as close to her as I could possibly get. I clung to her like I have never clung to anyone in my life and she seemed to need that as well. Occasionally, one of us would tear up and the other would wipe them away. Finally, with a sigh that rocked her whole body Riley began to speak. "I don't want you to think I'm ashamed, Foster. I'm not. I'm hard of hearing, I've always been this way."

"I just wish I had known."

"Why? Would it have changed anything?"

"No," I looked at her steadily. "Riley, when I was talking to Stacy I was referring to myself not you. I'll admit to letting her believe that I meant you because...well, I didn't want her hitting on me. I was too tired that night you know...it was just easier to let her think that, but you have to believe me. I meant who would want to be with me. I know I can be an idiot, but I never...."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. There just never seemed to be a good time to bring it up," she said.

"May I ask you something?" I leaned over and caught a stray strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear.

"Sure," she said and smiled as I put my hand back on her thigh.

"I was wondering...uh why you don't wear a hearing aid?" I swallowed I didn't want her to think I was prying.

"I used to but," she put her hand up to her left ear and smiled as if to reassure me before she said, "there's nothing here, Foster. I have one hundred percent hearing loss in this ear. I had to wear the aid in my right. It basically amplified the sound, but I didn't like it. I couldn't tell where sounds were coming from and it made me feel so disoriented all the time... I stopped wearing it a few years back and I think I do a lot better." I nodded that I understood and to my surprise she continued.

"I lost my hearing when I was a baby. My parents didn't know until it was too late. It's hard to tell with an infant. Now they know more about these things, but back then it was more common not to take a child to the doctor for a simple fever. I got better and..." Riley looked out at the water and I noted absently that the sun was going down leaving its distorted imprint glistening on the ocean like a fun house mirror.

"When I was growing up, I had a hard time...enunciating. My father would tell me that I needed to practice, but once he died there was no one. So I stopped talking as much. It was easier that way. People... kids mostly, liked to tease me about how I spoke. And after he died there was no one I wanted to talk to."

"What changed things?" I asked her as I placed my hand over hers to stop her from picking at her cast. I was fairly sure that, at some point, she would just pull it off whether her hand had healed or not.

"Dani," she said simply and a smile appeared on her face. I smiled back even though a small part of me wished it could have been me to help her. I'm sorry, but jealousy doesn't just die. At least not in my case. But it does sort of grow up and though I still felt jealous of the smile that came across her face, there was a small part of me that felt grateful. It was the scariest thing I have ever felt. "When I moved to Marin County they decide to put me in a speech class designed for the hearing impaired and kids with speech impediments. That's how I met Dani. They sort of lumped us all together in this one class."

I nodded as my earlier observation proved to be true. "I noticed that she stutters."

"She has pretty good control now though, she only stutters when she's nervous."

I ran my finger along Riley's arm and back down again. My god I'm touching her like I have every right to and she doesn't seem to mind. Which is probably a good thing because I don't think I could stop anyway. "What did she have to be nervous about?"

Riley shifted and looked down at me. "She was sort of nervous about meeting you I guess."

I blinked not expecting that answer. "Oh." My hand paused as I realized my fingers had, quite without my knowledge, snuck up the sleeve of Riley's t-shirt. As inconspicuously as possible I brought my hand down and covered hers, which was now resting on my knee. She gave my arm a little squeeze. "Why would she be nervous about meeting me?" I finally remembered to ask.

"I guess because I told her that I had finally met someone special that I would love to have come here with me someday."

I couldn't help it, my mouth fell open at her admission. I clamped it closed as she looked away embarrassed. This honesty shit was not really my thing. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to admit to her that her words thrilled me or if I was supposed to play coy. The whole idea of me playing coy almost made me grin. I stopped myself of course. With our track record Riley would more than likely think I was laughing at her and we would be back to square one.

"When did you tell her that?" I asked in order to give myself time to think.

"After you stormed away from the movie theater. I knew you needed some time so I stayed away, but I asked Dani if I could use the cabin because...."

"Because?"

"Well, I had planned on taking a few months off before I started working. I knew you were stressed out, so I thought you might be willing to come up here with me, um, if you could get some time off."

I moved away from her. "You mean even then you were going to ask me to come here?" I let go of her hand and dragged mine through my hair. It was still a shock to me to have so little of it up there but I have to admit I much preferred the shorter haircut and its easy maintenance.

"Well, like I said, I was going to try to spend a few months here anyway and I thought you might want to come too. Is something wrong, Foster?"

"No...I just thought the reason that you brought me here was because I was in trouble. I've been feeling guilty." I stopped as I looked up and noticed her staring down at my lips. God I wondered if I would ever get used to that as a thrill went down my chest and straight to my crotch. "I thought you might have wanted to be here alone or with Dani."

"Why would you think I wanted to be here with Dani? She is my best friend, Foster. She's like a sister to me. I'm about the only lesbian around here that Dani hasn't slept with."

Oh my God. Riley used the L word. "Riley, did you just call yourself a lesbian?" She smiled down at me bemusedly. I think she was starting to question my sanity.

"Yeah, I guess I did." She continued to look at me, her eyebrow raised.

"Are you really?" I asked dumbly.

"Am I what?" A full-fledged smile was spreading across her face.

"A les...."

"Les...bi...an," she enunciated for me and I nodded blinking owlishly at her.

"Well, sure Foster. Do straight women go around hitting on you often?" I contemplated telling her that they did but I decided not to. Besides the question had made me think of Monica, which made me sad. I wished I could somehow get word to her but there was absolutely no way I would risk that. Chief James would no doubt be on the look out for some contact from me. Something Riley said finally sank in.

"You were hitting on me? When?" I was thinking Riley might need to work on her approach because at no point during our acquaintance could I remember her hitting on me or anybody else for that matter.

"Well I sort of wanted to ask you out, but it just seemed like you were having a bad time of it and then when you, well you know, the drinking...."

"Turned you off, did I?" I tried to laugh it off but I was more than a little ashamed of my behavior.

"No, you didn't turn me off. I just didn't think you would be interested in me. After what I thought you said. And you had so much going on."

"But why would you be interested in me?" I started picking at her cast before she covered my hand and stopped me.

"I don't know, I just was. It changed you know. I was attracted to you first then I thought you might be in trouble. I really respected you for apologizing to me that night. You had enough on your plate without dealing with me."

"Riley? I still don't understand."

Riley looked down at our hands. They looked so different. Mine was so much lighter than hers, and smaller. I watched her close her hands around my fingers and I had to lean forward to hear her.

"I just knew from the moment I saw you. I just knew you needed me. I felt it here." She touched the place over her heart. "I saw you," she said. She smiled and her words flooded me with so much fear and uncertainty that for the briefest of moments I seriously considered jumping up and running away. But only for a brief moment. "I meant what I said last night, Foster. I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded and looked away from her. My God, it wasn't a dream! Her softly spoken words flowed over me like a warm caress. She was going to make me cry again. "I thought it was a dream." I chuckled nervously. "I guess I'm a little..."

"Scared?"

"Yeah," I admitted with a tight smile.

"Me too."

"Riley, you have to know that this...that I'm in serious trouble."

"I know. I just want you to give us a chance."

"A chance?" I repeated dumbly. She pulled me closer and I pressed my nose into her shirt as I had done this morning. "I can't pretend that my life isn't screwed. I can't do that to you."

"Why can't you?" she asked softly.

"Why can't I what?" In my frustration at not being able to lead a normal life with anyone I raised my voice.

"Why can't you pretend? I'll take you however I can get you."

"Riley..." I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached up to turn her face towards me. "Riley, I can't stay with you for long, you know that. I can't take the chance that they will find us together."

"How long can you stay?"

"I don't know," I told her truthfully. "Not long enough for them to figure out where I am."

"Then can I ask you something?"

"Yes, anything. I owe you that much."

"You don't owe me anything, Foster. I just want your friendship. If you don't want... can't be with me I understand, but... can I ask you something?" she repeated as if afraid to really ask the question.

"Yes, ask."

"If this weren't going on, would you...see me?"

"In a heartbeat," I told her honestly. Though something in me had to question if I would have taken her kindness for what it was, a genuine wish to help me. Would I have come here if she had asked me? No, probably not. It was an earth shattering revelation that caused me to have to catch my breath. The knowledge that I could have missed spending time with Riley was almost too painful to even consider.

"Foster?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"I said your stomach is growling. Are you hungry?"

My stomach took that moment to answer for me and I winked at her trying to lighten the mood. "I think that was a yes."

She held out her uninjured hand and I gratefully took it and allowed her to pulled me up. I stepped up on the higher part of the deck and turned to ask what she had bought for dinner. The higher level brought me in line with her lips. Her lips parted and she moistened them once before biting down on the lower as if to keep it from trembling. It worked but not before I saw the sign of her nervousness "Sort of disconcerting, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Her voice was soft and had a breathy quality to it that made me smile.

"You do that to me a lot," I said as I pulled her up on the deck and we walked hand in hand toward the cabin.

"I do not," she said with a straight face. I paused just inside the door and she turned and looked at me quizzically.

"You're kidding, right?"

"About what?" she asked.

"You totally stare at my lips when I'm talking to you. Like you want to devour them or something."

A tremor went through her body that told me she was laughing at me. I followed her into the small kitchen where she had left six or seven bags on the counter and table. "Uh huh."

"Oh my God, Riley, you totally stare at my lips all the time."

"Okay," she reached into one of the bags but her eyes were on me as she pulled out a huge plastic bag with something gross looking in it. "Next time I'm uh...staring at your lips you let me know, okay?"

"All right I will, smartass."

Riley rolled her eyes at me and looked down into the bag. "So what do you want to eat?"

I stared down into the bags. "You get frozen dinners? I could go for three or four of those." I looked around the kitchen nonchalantly before I noticed that there was no microwave. Shit, I was going to have to wait forty-five minutes to an hour before I could eat. I stuck my hand into one of the bags and started rooting around. I had a huge grin on my face and it wasn't just because of the food either. The weird thing was, I could be wanted for murder, had no money to speak of, was in hiding, had even gone out of my way to disguise myself and all that aside, I was happier than I had been in years. My hand snagged a plastic bag and I pulled it out. I looked at the yellow squash and then over at Riley who was still unloading bags. "You're kidding, right? We aren't going to eat this are we?"

She just grinned and shrugged.

Uh huh, yup she's got to be kidding.

* * *

Riley and I compromised. Or at least she compromised and I ate the stuff that I wanted to. It was nearly ten that night when we finally sat down to eat dinner. She had grilled two large steaks and put a couple of potatoes in the oven. I crowed when she told me that she had bought me sour cream and butter to go with them. I turned my nose up at the mixed vegetables that she sautéed but I determinedly pushed them around on my plate until it looked like I had eaten at least some of them.

I leaned back in my chair satisfied. My plate was empty aside from the scattered veggies while Riley still had half her steak and most of her dry ass potato. I eyed her meat with interest but was sidetrack by Bud's hundred mile an hour dash through his condo.

"Hey you think we can find him another ball? I bet he would love to run around here."

"I don't know, Foster, they don't really have a mall. Mostly just restaurants and souvenir shops."

"Oh," I said disappointed.

"We could always order it online."

"Oh yeah, your laptop. I forgot about that." Newly empowered by our talk I decided to ask her about it. "Riley, um, how did you get that? I mean they are sort of expensive."

"My mother bought it for me as an early graduation present. It came in handy when I was doing my final term papers. I used to have to try to get up early and use the ones in the library before class." Riley picked up our plates and walked in to the kitchen. A mother that didn't pay attention to her child but yet bought her a laptop so that she wouldn't have to use the library's computers. Seemed out of whack to me. But then who am I kidding? I had kind of gone loopy when Smitty died so it shouldn't have been a surprise if Riley's mother did the same thing when her husband died. From the few words Riley said about him he was obviously a great father. And from the caring individual that his daughter was, well it stood to reason that he would be a wonderful husband.

"That was nice of her."

"Yeah, it was." Riley grinned happily. "Brad picked it out, he's really good with computers. We got it online. It's refurbished but Brad was able to add some things to it that makes it better than some of the new ones."

"Your mother must be real proud of you." Riley shrugged and turned away. I sensed that I had crossed some invisible barrier and decided to change the subject. "Where did you learn to cook like that?"

"I had to learn or not eat," she said, and again I felt an undercurrent of anger emanating from her that seemed displaced, but I wasn't about to pry. I liked the newfound ease that we had with each other. I watched as she yawned while she rinsed one of the plates.

"Hey you must be exhausted." I checked the clock that hung over the table and noted that it was nearing eleven. I stood up, grabbed the glass that I had been drinking out of and walked over to her. "Why don't I do that and you go get ready for bed."

She smiled slightly and turned the water off. "Thanks, I am tired but... I want to shower first."

I nodded as she passed me to go to the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to move out of her way causing her to brush against me as she went by. Her voice deepened noticeably as she said a distracted sorry and hurried past me. I smiled. Well at least I'm not the only one suffering from dirty thoughts. I turned to the kitchen sink and began washing the dishes. I should probably take another shower before I get in bed too, a really cold one. Although that would make three in one day it wasn't a record for me. I always liked to take showers when I needed to think and something told me I was going to be taking a lot more showers before Riley and I parted ways. I stared blindly at the watercolor that hung above the sink. Going to bed with Riley. I closed my eyes. The thought of actually sleeping with Riley hadn't even occurred to me. It had been hard enough sleeping next to her when I didn't think she had any feelings for me, but now...well shit, the word torture comes to mind.

I finished washing the dishes, walked into the bedroom and pulled out a clean t-shirt and shorts to wear. Riley was still in the shower and basically I had nothing to do but wait until she was done so I started poking around again. I found nothing of interest and was contemplating pushing a chair up to the closet so that I could peer at whatever might be hidden up there when I noticed that the shower had been turned off.

Riley stepped out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam following behind her like an apparition. She was toweling her hair dry and looking down at the floor so I had a few seconds to observe her without her knowledge. She wore a white cotton shirt that was buttoned demurely except for a missing button at the collar and a pair of gray Joe Boxer pajama bottoms. I decided they looked warm and comfy and given half the chance I would steal them for myself.

I blinked when I noticed she was staring at me. "Huh?" I said idiotically.

"I said it's all yours."

"Oh, okay." I quickly scooped up the clothes and made a beeline for the bathroom. I was careful not to look at her again for fear she was laughing at me.

I shut the bathroom door and began to disrobe. Inhaling the scent of Riley's shampoo, I closed my eyes. It was going to be tough being so close to her and not being able to touch. Sighing, I stepped into the shower and turned all three jets on full blast. I briefly thought of turning the showerheads on cold but I figured it probably wouldn't do much good. So I contented myself with a quick, vigorous wash of my private parts and hair before reluctantly turning the water off and toweling myself dry. I paid particular attention to my teeth, even flossing which I usually forced myself to do once a week. Okay, I will admit to killing time because I wanted Riley to be asleep when I got out of the bathroom. It was nearing midnight and I was exhausted so I figured she must be even more tired than me.

I finally had nothing else to do so I opened the door and walked into the bedroom noting that the bed was turned back, but there was no sign of Riley. Music played on the stereo and for once the sky shown clear and black through the glass double doors. I walked around the bed to look out and nearly shrieked when Riley stood up from her position hunkered down in front of the stereo.

"Damn, Riley. You scared the shit out of me," I said a little too loudly as my hand went to my chest.

"Sorry," she said seriously, her voice so much lower than mine that it made my outburst seem even louder. She looked down at the stereo and back at me. "Dani left some CD's."

I noted for the first time that there was a song on by Janet Jackson. A CD that I owned myself or did own, as I was sure I would never be able to go back to my apartment again. "I like that CD."

"Me too. Would you dance with me, Foster?"

"Dance with you?" I repeated.

"Yeah."

She walked toward me and not waiting for my answer, folded her arms around me and pulled me close. I was still a little in shock so I just stood there for a minute before I began to relax into her embrace. She even moved well. Not that what we were doing was all that complicated, but I could tell that if she wanted to, Riley could probably hold her own on the dance floor. I pressed my face into her shirt and inhaled. I don't know when I had gotten into the habit of smelling her, but I was fast becoming addicted to the practice. I suddenly became exceedingly aware of her warm hand on my back as it moved up and down soothingly. I had to physically resist the urge to groan. I melted into her and she held me tightly. I don't know how I felt it because it was almost intangible. A slight pressure in my back, a small bend of her knees, and a bloom of hot arousal that flared in my crotch as our height difference suddenly seemed to be an asset rather than a hindrance.

"Foster, I want to kiss you. Just a kiss and a dance, that's all. We don't have to do anything else." It sounded simple enough, until I looked into the pools of compelling blue that told me that this was anything but simple. One kiss wouldn't be enough for either of us. I knew it and so did she. I almost laughed at the fact that I was supposed to be the reasonable one here. "Relax," she said. Her breath, or was it her lips that brushed mine?

We were barely moving by now and Riley's hand was pressing me tightly against her body. "See, just a dance." Her lips trailed lightly over my cheek causing me to shiver as we swayed to the music and I felt fingers run up and down my sides causing me to shift. I inhaled sharply as she finally gave up all pretence and her hands went completely under my shirt and were now caressing my back. I felt heat roll off of my face. I buried my face in her shirt so that I didn't have to pretend that I was unaffected.

"It can't be wrong, Foster," she said in my ear and I shook my head, my fingers going up to her ribs. I could feel her every breath, her every move. We were both spiraling out of control, but I was still surprised when Riley finally gripped my ass and pulled me tightly into her hips. I rested my head on her shoulder breathing hard before I looked into her eyes. She used my confusion against me then, and warm soft lips were soon plundering mine. My heart began to pound in countenance with my crotch. With a shock I realized that the right amount of pressure from Riley could possibly make me come. I ripped my lips away from hers as realization slammed down hard. Riley's arms were trembling with the effort of holding me up, her breathing was coming in heavy gasps and I knew it wasn't from the effort of holding me. Both of us were about two seconds from saying to hell with it. Well, I think Riley was already past that point.

"We can't," I said softly. My forehead was against hers, my eyes closed against the disappointment I knew I would see in her eyes.

"Why can't we?" Her voice sounded as desperate as mine.

"Because it will make it hard." I didn't want to say it would make it harder when I had to leave, but she knew what I meant.

"It's going to be hard anyway...for me," she said simply.

"For me too," I admitted. I put my hand on her ribs just below her breast. I don't know why, but I felt the need to know what her heartbeat felt like. I moved my hand up to her neck my thumb grazing the hollow of her throat. My eyes still closed, I felt her pulse racing.

I shuddered. Riley had not released her grip on my ass and the pressure, along with what had to be the longest fucking love song on Earth, was starting to make me think that perhaps Riley was right. Maybe us being together was something we shouldn't fight against.

"You know I want to make love to you," she said. I could feel her heart beating so hard that I stroked her back in an honest effort to calm her down. That lasted for about two seconds before my brain spiraled down again with the thought of how good she felt beneath my hands. I thought, maybe she's right. Maybe it won't make things worse. Maybe I can make love to her and not feel guilty "Foster, I want to make love to you."

She wants to make love to me, I thought and my eyes opened wide as I began to push away from her. I can't let her.

"No, Riley...."

"Shhh," Riley breathed, her lips against my temple as I pushed weakly against her unmoving shoulders. "It's okay. I'm going to let you go. Can you stand on your own?"

"Yes!" I said desperately. I wanted, no had to make her let me go. Panic flooded through me making my fingers grip into her shirt even as I reached desperately for some distance between us so that I could think. Riley eased me away from her body but continued holding my hips as I refused to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Foster. I didn't know I was upsetting you."

I shook my head. I couldn't seem to catch my breath. "You didn't. It's not ...it's not you."

"Shhhh calm down. Everything's okay."

"God Riley, I'm sorry," I said as I struggled to catch my breath. "I just panicked."

She smiled gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't. I think I scared myself."

"Will this," she squeezed lightly at my hips, "change things between us?"

"Well, I don't think either of us can deny that there's a sexual tension between us." I tried to laugh but even I had to admit it sounded pathetic.

Riley's eyes went up as the long ass love song finally ended. "Were you trying to deny it, Foster? Because I always knew you wanted me."

My mouth dropped open and I forgot my stress of a moment earlier. A tentative smile played at the edges of Riley's mouth and I recognized and appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood. I decided to play along.

"Puleeeeze! You are not all that irresistible," I lied.

"Uh huh, whatever. That's because I didn't show you my real moves."

"Ohhhh, those weren't your "real moves" then?" I stepped back and admired the full-fledged grin on her face as Janet Jackson's Someone To Call My Lover started pumping through the speakers. I couldn't help but answer her smile with one of my own.

"Nah, those weren't my real moves. You would have to pay to see those. And you would have to promise to control yourself as I won't be held responsible."

"Ahhh I see. So, now you're so good I'm going to start throwing myself at you?"

Riley shrugged. That grin was still there and me being me, I couldn't turn down her challenge. "Well it seems to me that I got fifty-two hundred dollars here. Lets see what you got." I hopped up on the bed, pulled the bills out of the white envelope and fanned them out in front of me. "Hadn't you better start dancing? You're a long way from making me lose all control."

Riley grinned and in that moment I knew. I knew without a doubt that I should back down from this game. If not then, perhaps I should have when she started to sway her hips and her good hand went to the front of her shirt pressing in so that I could see the small indentions of her nipples against the cotton.

"Uh, this is a fast song," I reminded her nervously. And she quickened her hips and began to lip-sync to the song.

"Thanks," I said dryly

"Welcome," she said and once again I had the distinct impression that I was being played with.

Riley closed her eyes, which was a good thing because I mouthed, "Oh shit" as her hands disappeared under her shirt and lifted, revealing her tummy and the bottoms of her breasts. And exactly when had her pajama bottoms dropped so low on her hips?

She was still mouthing the lyrics to the song, her eyes open now but droopy looking as she sang maybe we'll meet at a club and fall so deeply in love.

I watched in stunned silence as she gyrated her hips and looked at me like I could have her if I wanted her. I licked my lips and to my shock she did the same causing me to stop swinging my legs and my body to go rigid. This was not playing fair. I watched her hand go up to her breasts and graze them before moving away.

I blinked, forcing my lids to drag across eyeballs exposed to the heat of the moment entirely to long. "Uh, Riley?" She shook her head and that smile that I used to think was so innocent turned seductive. I think I went catatonic as she turned around and lifted her shirt so I could see her ass. I blinked stupidly at it while she turned around, her grin now wide and knowing.

Oh my God. She's going to open her shirt. I thought as her fingers gripped tightly onto her shirt. The moment the song ended Riley ripped her shirt apart sending buttons flying across the hardwood floors, and my heart skittering right behind them.

"Oh good God. Good God," I said as my fan of money fluttered to the floor and my right hand went to my mouth.

Riley's body began to shake as I stared incredulously at what should have been naked, bobbing boobies.

Instead, I was looking at a tank top; a thin one I will admit, but a perfectly modest tank top. I had seen more skin after she'd worked out.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman," I said and flopped back on the bed. There was nothing but silence and I opened my eyes to see Riley nearly doubled over and shaking holding on to one of the bedposts for support.

"The look on your face!" she said. I growled at her and grumpily pulled the covers back and then pulled them completely over my head. She could laugh at me all she wanted but I didn't have to watch it, I thought. Then I was forced to stifle a laugh. I shook my head beneath the blankets. She really had gotten me good. I bet I looked hungry when she ripped that damn shirt open. I heard a click as Riley turned my lamp off and I pushed the blankets down around my shoulders and turned on my side. I opened my eyes and stared into the dim light cast by the living room fire. I breathed in the crisp, faintly salty air of the cabin wondering if I should really be feeling this happy. Riley got into bed and immediately cuddled into my back her hand rested warmly on my stomach.

"You mad?" I could still hear the smile in her voice and it made me feel good that I had put it there. She really didn't smile enough.

"Nah," I said and wondered why my voice sounded as deep as hers.

"Good. Is this okay?" she asked sleepily and once again I felt guilty for waking her so early with my dream.

"Yes," I said with a contented sigh.

"Are we okay?"

"Better than okay," I answered. I squirmed a little as memories of the dream reappeared making me uncomfortable laying so close to her. I told myself to lay still and it would go away. Behind my lids the clear vision of Riley thrusting into me caused me to grit my teeth. I felt a numbing sensation in my crotch as I became acutely aware of her body pressed into my backside. I tried to breath soundlessly so that she wouldn't know that I was still awake.

"Riley," I whispered. I was tempted to turn around but her soft, even breathing told me she had already fallen asleep.

And what had I called her for anyway? My face burned hot as I realized that for all my good intentions, if Riley had been a little more insistent on making love, I would have probably given in. I closed my eyes in resignation. I was long past denying my attraction. She sighed in her sleep as if she had somehow sensed my surrender and pulled me tightly back against her body. My eyes snapped open and I stared into the dimly lit living room. Suddenly the futon was looking a lot more comfortable.

* * *

"Hey, sleepyhead. You ever going to wake up?"

I opened one eye to stare into two beady red eyes and two cheerful blue ones.

I opened my mouth and wouldn't have been surprised if I had heard a loud creaking. I felt like I had probably been gritting my teeth all night. My libido had forced me to stay awake for hours after Riley's breathing had evened out.

I glared first at Bud who was sniffing around on the bed inches away from my face and then at Riley who was either on her knees or squatting because her eyes where about level with the bed. "If he shits on this bed it's your fault," I groused. I could tell by her eyes that she was laughing at me. A point that was proven by the shaking of her head as she did that silent laugh of hers. I sneered at her and sat up in bed sending Bud scampering before Riley scooped him up and put him on her shoulder.

"Hungry?" she asked as she stood up.

I perked up as I smelled the air. There was coffee and a few other tantalizing odors. "Ohhh, what's that smell?"

"You'll see. Why don't you get a shower and I'll get breakfast finished." I noted for the first time that her hair was freshly washed and braided and she was fully clothed in a pair of neatly creased blue jeans and a t-shirt.

"Okay," I agreed halfway cheerfully as the thought of hot coffee and whatever it was she was cooking cheered me.

I rushed through my toiletries and was out of the bathroom in about twenty minutes, my short hair sticking up every which way. Once again I wished I'd thought to buy a can of mousse. I looked at the clock casually as I entered the kitchen and gave a tap to Bud's cage as I passed. "Holy shit, it's nearly twelve!" I said as I approached Riley.

"I know. I thought you would never get up. I'd already mixed the batter so I decided to make breakfast anyway."

"Oh yeah?" I looked around happily for the food but was turned around and pushed gently towards the small table with a cup of coffee in my hands.

"I'll bring it to you. Why don't you sit down?"

She turned her attention to the stove and I sipped my coffee gratefully. I watched her profile as she stared down at whatever she was making. She looked good this morning. Hell she always looked good. I wondered why she took so much time ironing her jeans and t-shirts? Didn't most people simply take them out of the dryer and put them on?

"Hey, can I help with anything?" I'm sure the look Riley threw my way would be no surprise to you, but I was still a bit put out by it.

"Hey, I may not be Julia Childs, but I'm not that bad."

"Uh huh," she said, not bothering to look up at me. "You can get the silverware and strawberries out of the fridge." I could do that. I walked behind her and made sure to bump against her a little too hard to be accidental. She turned and looked at me, a smile on her face. "Don't peek either."

"I'm not," I told her petulantly.

"Uh huh," she said again, not at all fooled.

"How long is it going to be?" I asked as I peered down into the silverware drawer. For some reason the drawer had several different sized forks. I don't mean like a salad fork and a regular fork. I mean like five different sized forks. One was so small that it had to be for a baby and a couple of the others were huge. I picked them up and studied them. I sort of liked the idea of big forks so I nodded my head and grabbed two. I figured it would take less time to eat with forks that large, you could get it all up and into your mouth with no trouble. I grabbed two steak knives and two paper towels and set them on the table. They didn't look all that neat, so I folded them in two and placed the forks and knives on top. Satisfied with my setting, I then went for two plates, and the strawberries from the refrigerator.

"I'm just about done. Would you mind pouring some juice as well please?"

"I'll pour you some. I don't want any juice, I have coffee," I said as I went to the refrigerator.

"Have a little for me. Please?" she said softly. I didn't bother to answer her but I took two glasses out of the cabinet and grumbled softly to my wussie self as I filled them both and put the carton back in the refrigerator. I had just sat down in my chair when Riley approached with a large serving platter and a smile on her face as she noted my grin. I was starving.

"We are going to have a little compromise, alright Foster?"

I didn't like the sound of that. I squinted my eyes as I remembered the soy butter and nonfat milk at her place in LA.

Riley used a spatula and put the largest, fluffiest, grayest Belgium waffle on my plate I had ever seen. She then put two pieces of odd-looking bacon along side it.

"Thank you?" I said as I looked down at the obscene looking thing on my plate.

She grinned widely as she served herself. "You're very welcome."

I looked at the huge gray waffle then back at her. I was thinking maybe I should take over breakfast duties because my waffle looked like she had dropped it on the floor. Twice. And the bacon, well let's just say that if I hadn't heard Bud happily running in his cage behind me I would have been concerned for his well being.

"Just try it, Foster, it's good. I promise."

I nodded and swallowed down some orange juice hoping this would take her eyes off me long enough to hide some of this odd looking stuff under my paper towel. She didn't buy it though and continued to stare at me amused. "Try it for me, please."

I picked up my fork and broke off a bit of the waffle. "Wait. Hang on," she said and with a spoon ladled some of the strawberry concoction on it.

"Umm, thanks." I shoved the waffle determinedly into my mouth and tried not to frown as I chewed. I chomped down on my mouthful again and was pleasantly surprised. The dirty waffle, coupled with the sweet strawberries, was actually pretty good. I picked up the piece of odd looking flat bacon and shoved it into my mouth as well. Bacon it was not, but it wasn't half bad and if it made Riley happy, I would eat it. I picked up my knife and began to happily cut up my waffle. I had just finished cutting it up and was about to thank her for the breakfast when I noticed she wasn't eating. She held her fork and knife in her hands like two clubs.

"What's the matter?" I asked her before I remembered that my mouth was still full.

She looked up with a small smile on her face. "Nothing," she said and began to carefully cut into her food. I shrugged and tucked in to mine as well. A couple of times during the meal I caught her looking at me with this amused look on her face as she carefully put a fork full of waffle into her mouth. I nodded with approval. I had stabbed myself in the cheek with my big ass fork a few times already. I was glad she was being more careful.

It had been two weeks since Riley first told me that she was hard of hearing. Two weeks since I turned into a touchy feely beast that couldn't seem to keep my hands to myself. I don't mean sexually either; just this need to make sure that she was still there. She always was. We ate together, slept together, and walked together. It was the most at peace I have ever felt.

On the fourth of July the only things that lit the night sky in our quiet place were the hundreds of stars that graced it regardless of the date. Riley and I lay out on the deck and looked up at the sky for hours. We talked and kissed until the sun bleached the sky a honey gold and woke the birds.

Riley turned over on her stomach and started playing with a piece of my hair. "You ever notice the world smells different at dawn?"

I shook my head. "I'm never up at dawn."

"Never?"

"No, not that I can remember."

"Then you wouldn't know about the rule."

"What rule?" I asked, somehow knowing I would like this rule.

"The rule about kissing to let the sun know you appreciate her coming up every morning."

"No, I didn't know about..." and then she kissed me until the sky was a cobalt blue and we thanked the sun for that too.

* * *

I stood at the sink washing dishes while Riley read the newspaper from the day before. Neither of us spoke but it was a comfortable feeling that had settled over the small kitchen.

I finished with the dishes, hung the towel I had used for drying over the faucet then turned to look at her and smiled. She looked so sweet sitting there pouring over the paper, a frown creasing her otherwise smooth forehead and her hair, which she wore down today, falling forward on to the table. I wanted to tell her that I liked when she wore it down but I felt inexplicably shy. I can't explain it to you other than to say that I have never been one to pass out compliments freely and I was afraid of veering too far off my normal path. Since she hadn't looked up from her paper, I stared at her openly. Keeping Riley at arm's length is for the good of us both, I told myself. Of course, how arm's length included talking-- well mostly I talked and she listened-- kissing, dancing closely and spooning nearly every night for the last two weeks was beyond me. I did, however, put my foot down when Riley suggested we get in the Jacuzzi. It sounds harmless until you think about the fact that neither of us had bathing suits. A fact that didn't seem to trouble Riley half as much as it troubled me.

"Riley," I called out softly wanting to wipe that frown from her face. I was pleased when the frown immediately went away and a smile replaced it. Good she's smiling more. I hope it's because of me. "Anything interesting in the paper?" I needed to act like I was trying to ask her something and not like I missed having her look at me.

"No, nothing interesting."

"Hey Riley, do you think it would be safe if we went into town?"

Riley frowned. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Foster. Do you need something? I could always get it for you."

I sat down across from her. "I wanted to go to a library or something if they have one."

"For what?"

"I want to read the newspaper. You know, see if they have anything on me or Smitty."

Riley's frown deepened. "Foster...can't we look online? At the newspapers, I mean."

"Well we could try, but it's doubtful a city this size would have their newspaper online. And anyway it's not going to be the whole paper. For the most part they would much rather you buy it than get it for free online."

Riley nodded. I could tell she still wasn't too happy with the idea of me going into town.

"Tell you what, I'll wear the hat and sunglasses. Deal?"

"I guess but I still don't like it."

"It'll be fine. No one will recognize me. I'll stay clear of any tourists just in case they're from LA. Once we go through the papers we'll leave okay?"

She agreed reluctantly and I went into the bedroom to look for something a bit more appropriate to wear. I wasn't sure what I expected to find in the library but I figured I could at least see how much the papers in this area had printed about me. And hopefully they had gotten more answers about Smitty's death, too. Something about that still clawed at my gut.

Mendocino is about five minutes away from Albion, the town that the cabin is located in. The night we had arrived it had been too dark and rainy to notice the quaintness of the town. Some of the homes were large and stately causing me to wonder how many people could afford to live in such a rural area and own such large homes. It wasn't like there were any large high-rise office spaces. Indeed, the only people that even looked like they worked hard were the fisherman and they for damn sure weren't living in those homes. Riley had been quiet during the short drive into town. I could tell that she didn't think this was a good idea. I would apologize later. Besides, as much as I was enjoying the cabin, I did need to get out every so often.

"Here it is." She pulled up to a white building and we both ducked our heads so that we could look at it. The library looked like it may have been an old school house or church at some point. It was painted a pristine white with a small picket fence that went around its parameter and also had a large steeple at the top, though it no longer had its bell.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

I got out of the car feeling slightly self-conscious in my orange flip-flops and sunglasses. Walking up to the library I noted that aside from the flyers pinned to a corkboard just outside the front door, the place looked deserted. Riley opened the door and we walked in. I nervously looked around, taking in the four brand new computers and the stacks of magazines and newspapers that sat on a shelf beneath a bold, bright red sign marked ‘Periodicals'. My eyes scanned the room again. I was starting to feel anxious until I found what I was looking for. The fire exit. It would be my path of escape if I needed a quick retreat. The idea of being cornered didn't sit well with me.

"May I help woo?"

I whipped around, stunned. I hadn't heard anyone walk up behind me and apparently neither had Riley from the look on her face. A small woman, probably in her late fifties, peered over the rim of her glasses and chewed rapidly on something as she waited for us to answer. She wore tight jeans that looked like they were better suited for a sixteen year old, Sperry topsiders, a thick pink sweatshirt with a cat on the front and two large pink barrettes on either side of her pixie cut, mouse brown hair. I resisted the urge to take a step back because anyone this woman's age, dressed the way she was, had to have a few screws loose.

"Uh, yes." I cleared my throat nervously. "We would like to look at your newspapers."

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" She must have shifted whatever she was eating to the other side of her mouth because I was able to understand her better. She held a small plate with two dark brown lumps on it. I grimaced, hoping fervently that what was on that plate, was not also in her mouth.

"Uh, yeah. We want to look at the employment ads in the San Francisco and Los Angeles papers. Oh, and the ones here too," I added as if it were an afterthought.

"Hmm, well there are no jobs here," she said dismissively her jaw still working.

"Uh yeah, see that's what I told my friend here, but she didn't believe me. Can you point us in the right direction?"

"Yeah, you go to the periodical section." She pointed with her little plate. "Put them back where you found them when you're done." She looked at me sternly as if she somehow sensed that I fucked up newspapers when I read them. She was right.

The newspapers hung on sticks that were segmented so that each part of the newspaper could be hung separately inside. The end was rubber banded off so that the paper could be hung neatly on a stand that looked like a wooden table that was missing its center. Riley and I started with the Marin county papers and worked our way through to the San Francisco and even the Oakland papers. I found nothing that mentioned me, Smitty or even Harrison Canniff. We'd been at it for over two hours when I looked up to see Riley glaring down at the paper, her eyes intent on the article she was scanning. A dark smudge had appeared on her chin and without realizing what I was doing, I reached out and with my thumb gently rubbed the smudge away.

"You just have a little newsprint on your face, sweetheart." I flushed at how my voice sounded. I hoped she believed that the reason I was whispering was because I was in the library and not because I was suddenly feeling very shy.

She smiled, almost like she understood how I felt. It wasn't an easy thing to wear your feelings out in the open, at least not for me.

"Thanks," she whispered back. And I suddenly had the feeling she was going to kiss me. I gripped the pole tightly as her face swam in front of my eyes.

"You find anything?" The librarian appeared as silently as she had before, still working on that thing in her mouth.

"Uh, yeah we're doing fine, thank you," I said even though my mind was screaming for her to get the fuck out of there so I could be kissed senseless.

"You want some?" she asked tipping the plate so Riley and I could get a look at her succulent morsels of who knew what.

"Uh no, thank you." I'm sure the smile on my face looked about as sickened as the feeling in my stomach.

"You look like you should eat more fiber. That one probably eats lots of fiber." She pointed at Riley. Looking her up and down approvingly, she then looked back at me as if something distasteful had just occurred to her.

I opened my mouth to give her what for but was stopped by a calming hand on my wrist. Instantly I forgot what I was going to say.

She turned to go back to her desk and probably her endless sack full of the nasty gelatinous looking things she was eating. "Okay, if you need any help, my name is Cooché Escalara. I'll be at the front desk."

I'm sure my eyes went large as I watched her go. Surely she didn't just say... I looked over at Riley for moral support but she was already staring down at the newspaper, a worried frown on her face. I instantly forgot Coochie, or whatever the fuck her name was, and leaned in to touch Riley's hand. "What's wrong?"

She looked up and the frown dissipated slightly. "I found something."

My heart started slamming against my rib cage with those few words. I'm not sure why. It would stand to reason that we would eventually find something. In fact it was starting to look really odd that there hadn't been more printed on the subject. I stood up and squatted down next to Riley so that I could read the article that she had splayed out on the table in front of her. She pointed with her finger to an article that was so small I would have probably missed it.

Los Angeles, California

June 10, 2001

Police detective,

Foster Everett, is sought

for questioning in connection

with the death of one Harrison

Canniff. Everett's partner

Joseph Smith died in an apparently

unrelated car accident on Highway 1.

The Coroner's report is inconclusive

as to whether alcohol was involved.

__

See related stories:

• The Forgotten Children...

"Son of a bitch. Smitty never..." I stopped myself then. I had been about to blow up because they were implying that Smitty drank, which he never did while driving. I heard the squeak of chair rollers on hardwood floors. I turned to see Coochie leaning forward in her chair as she chomped on her prune/date/fig thingy. That disapproving librarian frown already on her face from my outburst though we were the only people in the library.

"I know, that's why I didn't want to show it to you."

I nodded wearily. "Is that the only one?"

"Yeah, it's the only one I found in the recent stuff. The guy doesn't even mention it anymore and I checked two weeks in either direction." I frowned. "Don't you think that's just a little weird?"

"Yeah it's more than a little weird." Usually the papers are full of shit like this. Murder or not, this was news. A cop suspected of killing a perpetrator was front-page stuff and it would take people a lot more powerful than the fucking LAPD to hush that up. A cold chill went down my back as I thought of one of my last conversations with Smitty.

"I think we should check this related story."

"They probably have those articles over there on the computer," Riley said and was already on her way over to the computers. Her fingers moved nimbly across the keyboard and within seconds of me leaning over her shoulder, the small article was up and on the screen.

The Forgotten Children of the City of Angels

The Los Angeles Bystander

(Published April 18, 2000)

Byline: Lana Morgan-Archer

"I've done this too many times," she says as she covers the twelve-inch form. She holds a clothespin in her mouth while another volunteer hands her dried flowers to place into the tiny makeshift body bag. Citing a near-fatal accident with her own son, she has made it her life's work to champion those less fortunate.

She shakes her head as if it is almost too much to bear but continues because she knows if she doesn't, no one else will.

She named her Ann.

"Ann was my mother's name," she explains teary-eyed as she lifts the body on to the borrowed gurney. "Someone let this baby die, threw her away. She never had a chance at dignity. I thought Ann was a dignified name."

She watches the volunteer disappear with the gurney. Ann will be loaded into a van and chauffeured to her final place of rest.

You see Ann has been adopted by Monica Smith, daughter of Police Chief Herbert James, and wife of LAPD detective Joseph Smith. Ann, who was discarded by her real mother and perhaps unwanted by her real father, will now be laid to rest in a graveyard filled with adopted brothers and sisters of every race imaginable. Ironically, over one hundred eighty-five strangers will show up and mourn Ann's passing.

Ann, who will be buried with her umbilical cord still attached, will never celebrate her first birthday.

There have been twenty-three others, and there is room in the donated graveyard for six more.

It will be full before years end.

______________________________________________________

"I remember hearing about this." Riley said softly.

I sucked in a breath "Yeah, Mon' used to hit me up all the time for donations...I uh, never went to the funerals."

"No?" Riley turned in her chair.

"No."

"Too sad?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I always felt like in some ways it was my fault. Like if I had done my job better the babies would..." I shrugged.

"Foster," Riley turned around and stared at the screen. "I don't know if you or any other cop could prevent this...people who... do this kind of thing." She shook her head. "There is something wrong with a society if that's the only way they know of getting out of the situation...there's something broken. It's okay if you didn't want to see that."

"It was more than that, Riley. It was that, and well, something else. Something...I don't know, weird about it." I felt horrible telling compassionate Riley about how I felt but once I started I couldn't seem to stop. "It's like all Monica thought about were the babies. How can someone base their life on something so sad? I used to walk around her van, I mean wide around her van, because I knew she carried the babies in it...and she well, she would put their son in it and not even blink as she dropped him off at day care."

Riley was silent for a moment. I could tell that she was divided in what to say to me so she said nothing. We avoided each other's eyes because there were no easy answers. I thought Riley might be shocked by what I said. Hell, I was sort of shocked too. I never really realized what freaked me out about the whole thing until then. And then as moments often do, that one passed and we scanned the rest of the database for related stories. We combed through the Times hoping to find something else but other than the small article on Smitty's death and the article on Canniff, both of which I had already seen, there was nothing new. I stood up and stretched, my back cracking and making me wonder if I had aged ten years from the stress of the mess I had gotten myself into.

"Are we done here?" Riley asked as she placed the paper back in its rack.

I nodded and followed her toward the front door.

"No luck, eh?" Coochie asked still checking Riley out as if she were an organism under a microscope. Riley's face had that same bland, unemotional look that she wore at the club. I hadn't seen that look in a while and I didn't appreciate someone making her feel like she had to hide behind it.

"No luck, Cooch," I answered.

"It's Cooooché, Coooooché." She shifted the date/fig/prune, whatever the fuck it was, to the other side of her mouth and repeated herself. This time slowly, as if we were mentally challenged. "Cooooché!"

From the way she said it I could tell it was a bone of contention with her. All three of us stared at each other for a minute before I shrugged and walked out of the library without another word. Riley followed close behind me.

"She should have changed her fucking name if she didn't want people to make fun of it," I grumbled to myself, inexplicably embarrassed that the word coochie would come up around Riley. If I had any luck left Riley would let it go. Hell she's a grown woman it's not like she's never heard the word before, right? I'm sure she will blow it off like I did. I had calmed myself by the time Riley caught up to me. I planted a fake smile on my face and looked up into her very confused eyes.

"Uh, Foster. Did that woman just call us coochies?"

I walked away without replying. My overly bright smile fraying at the edges.

* * *

The lack of any real newspaper articles on me had obviously made Riley feel a lot better about us being seen in public. She insisted that getting my own clothes would make me feel better and she knew just the place that I could get practically everything I needed. I reminded her that there was still the very real possibility that law enforcement might be looking for me. She pointed out that if law enforcement had been informed, then how likely was it that the reporters wouldn't have picked up on it. I was so deep in thought that we were damn near in the store before I happened to look up and catch the Doc Marten sign on the window. She was right. When I saw the small corner of the store dedicated to boots, I immediately perked up.

By the time we left the store a full thirty minutes later, I was laden with three large shopping bags, a big grin and a whole lot of guilt for allowing Riley to spend Dani's money on me. I have to admit though; the bum look I had been wearing hadn't done much for my spirits. Riley had whispered heatedly that the clothes were so I wouldn't look so damn out of place. I had agreed with her there. So I allowed her to buy me three pair of jeans, some boots, a few white shirts and a brand new pair of Doc Martens. Riley took the bags from me and I jumped into the car. I flipped the sun visor down and looked at my hair in the mirror. I would need to dye it biweekly to keep it up. I had never been one for regular maintenances besides the obligatory daily wash and sighed heavily at the prospect.

Riley got into the car and looked over at me. "Ready to go home?"

A thrill shot through me as she said home. "Yup," I said to disguise the fact that I was somewhat touched by her question and settled back in the warm car as she pointed us back in the direction of cabin.

"What are you thinking?" she asked as we passed over the small bridge and prepared to make a right turn onto the private road that led to the cabin.

"I don't know, I guess I'm still... wondering why."

"Why, what?" she asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt and prepared to hop out of the truck to open the gate.

"Why you're willing to help me. I mean its not like I'm anyone special.

"Hang on," Riley got out of the car and swung the gate open before quickly hopping back in and driving us through. After she had closed and locked the gate behind us she got back into the car, a serious look on her face. "You have to stop second guessing everything, Foster." She looked like she was choosing her words carefully but I could tell it was something that she had been thinking about for a while yet had never voiced. "The best thing for you to do is to try to move on." She cut the ignition and looked over at me.

"You mean forget? See, that's just it. I can't forget. Every time I feel happy it's like I feel guilt for it because this guy Canniff can't ever feel happy again. I took that away from him. I keep waiting for my luck to catch up with me, and thinking that maybe this is me getting what's coming to me. What if I'm meant to be happy so that when I have to...you know leave or something, it will be even more hard?"

"Foster...." I didn't look at her because her voice was entirely too soft and I was already feeling odd about my admissions. "I don't mean forget about it. I don't think you ever will. I mean you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what's going to happen next. I see you worrying about it when you don't know I'm looking." I nodded and Riley sighed. "For some reason this thing has been hushed up. Maybe it was Smitty's father-in-law, maybe it wasn't. Who knows? You have a chance to live a new life and maybe this time you'll be happy."

I wanted so badly to do as she said, to just be grateful. But in my lifetime I had learned you rarely got something for nothing and the idea that there was someone out there cleaning up after me left a taste in my mouth akin to eating a really nasty sunflower seed. "Boy you sure do talk a lot sometimes, huh?" Riley rolled her eyes and smiled at me. "What makes you so smart, huh?" I reached across and grasped the fingers poking out of the now faded and bedraggled cast.

"Life." She said and with a grin that should have belied her statement but didn't, she got out of the car and left me to ponder her words.

Life had made Riley so wise? I wondered if she meant her father being taken from her. I knew there was more to the story than I was getting. Whatever it was had caused her a lot of pain. She would need time to tell me. As I shut the car door behind me, I looked fondly at the weight set that now took up a part of the deck that wasn't used for anything. She had painstakingly put it together one handedly while I slept.

I walked into the house to find her drinking a bottle of water. "Hey, I thought you were going to take me fishing?" I was gratified when her eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously as she swallowed the rest of the water. I changed out of my new clothes and we trouped down to the beach. We watched as the ocean crashed upon the rocks just below where we sat and the seagulls swooped and dove to pick up things too far away for us to identify.

"Are you happy, Riley?" I asked as I sat with my fishing pole tucked under my leg. I hadn't caught anything in the few hours we had been sitting there so it was doubtful I would get a bite then.

"Why do you ask?" she questioned without looking at me.

"I just want to be sure...you know...that I'm not boring. I know this is supposed to be your vacation. I just sort of want you to know that you don't have to hang around here all the time. If you have something better to do, I mean." I took a deep breath. My God, all my linguistic skills went out the window when I tried to do anything but have a normal conversation with Riley.

She was quiet for a minute. "I don't remember ever being more happy."

"Good." We continued to sit with our poles in the water, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

I shivered and although Riley wasn't looking at me, she must have sensed it. "We should head back. It's going to be chilly tonight. I can already see fog rolling in." I nodded and started reeling in my line while she did the same. Although we hadn't caught anything I relished the quiet moments that I had just spent with her. Riley, unlike most people, had learned the art of silence. Even though I professed a wish for silence, I don't think I had ever noticed how quiet one could be in a world that continued to pass you by.

She stood up and stretched. I resisted the urge to run my fingers along the lines of her calf as I stood. I groaned. "My God. We need to bring some pillows out here next time. I feel like two midgets just drop kicked me in the ass."

Riley smiled and shook her head giving me that look.

"What?" I was suddenly feeling shy again.

"You have a way with words."

I walked a bit closer to her and placed my hands lightly on her hips. "So do you, Riley. So do you."

I think both of us decided that a kiss might not be prudent at that point and we walked silently back to the cabin.

"This has been the perfect day," I breathed.

"Hmm," Riley agreed.

See what I mean? I, like most people, feel the need to verbalize what I feel. Riley didn't. She just enjoyed it, soaked it in like a sponge.

"Would you like to watch the sun go down with me, Foster?"

I turned to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, unwilling and unable to keep myself from touching her, the day having lulled me into a comfort zone that I vaguely recognized as dangerous, but stubbornly refused to acknowledge.

"I would love to."

"Would you like to sit in the Jacuzzi then?"

"How did I know that was coming?"

She smiled. "Probably because I have been trying to get you in there with me for over a week now."

"We still don't have bathing suits."

"We can wear shorts and t-shirts if you want," Riley said. But I could tell that she thought we would be better off nude.

"I think that would be safest," I told her with a smirk. She simply shrugged and we pulled the cover off the Jacuzzi before heading into the house to undress: me in the bathroom. Riley in the bedroom. When I came out in a pair of Dani's shorts and a t-shirt Riley was already in the Jacuzzi, eyes closed, a finger running over the edge of the tub as if she was tracing something in her mind, a small smile on her face. I placed one foot in the water hoping to get in before she opened her eyes. She sensed my presence though and gave me a welcoming smile as I stepped into the hot, oscillating water. "Sorry," I breathed in quickly as the now cold air and the warm water surrounding me made my flesh goose bump.

"It's okay. I was just thinking."

"About what?" I asked conversationally.

"About you." I had no idea what to say to that so I moved closer and leaned in for what I thought would be a sweet kiss. I was unprepared for the passion. So much so that I turned away from her and prepared to go back and reclaim my seat against the farthest wall.

"No," she said against my temple. "Stay. You want me, you want this. I can tell." I wanted to tell her that it was a mistake but I didn't because she was right. Then again, she always was. I wanted to feel her mouth on mine, her chest moving against me as she breathed. And most of all I wanted to feel her body responding underneath my hands.

I straddled her hips and she placed her hands around my back to give me support. I wrapped my fingers around her neck and looked down at her for once. Her eyes latched on to my lips and I bent down. She met me halfway for a kiss that would leave us both breathless and achingly aroused before I reluctantly pulled my lips away to pull in air tinged with salt and chlorine.

"We missed the sunset," Riley said after her breathing had returned to normal.

"I didn't," I said softly. And even though my face was hidden in her shoulder, I could feel that she was smiling.

Continued in part 5