Disclaimers: see Chapter
1
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Chapter 2: In the Hay Barn
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By mid-afternoon
Tevi was able to climb to the fortified stockade high on the hillside, although
her knee still shot twinges up her leg whenever she shifted her weight awkwardly.
The stockade would be needed to keep livestock safe from raids if war came. Tevi
had volunteered to inspect the structure. Her intention had been to avoid attention
and get time alone to think, however Brec had insisted on coming along. There
was no easy way to turn down the offer of company - not without getting into a
debate on the interpretation Laff might put on their going off together.
The stockade was a large enclosure
surrounded by a deep ditch with a timber reinforced embankment. Its layout made
use of natural rock faces wherever possible. From its entrance, Tevi looked down
on the valley. Nestling among fields far below, Holric looked small, like a toy
village made by a child in the sand. Tevi felt as if she could put out her hand
and knock it flat. She almost wished that she could. Her brooding was interrupted
when Brec trotted over from the far side of the enclosure.
"The ditch and bank are sound,
but the palisade needs a bit of work in places." Brec said as she came to
a stop.
"It's the same this side.
I'll tell grandmother she needs to send some women up here with axes. What do
you reckon - about two days work for three women?" Tevi said.
"That would do it easily."
Tevi nodded but said nothing more;
neither did she show signs of wanting to return to Holric. Brec frowned at her
friend's dark mood.
"Come on. Let's go back and
see how preparations are going. We could check out the cooking - maybe sample
a few bits to make sure they're doing it properly." Brec said in her brightest
tones.
"You could. I might go and
see my boat."
"Surely it can wait?"
Brec sounded exasperated.
"We've missed out on fishing
today. We'll have to set off early tomorrow. I want to be sure everything is ready."
"I'll come with you."
"You don't have to."
Tevi said quietly.
"Yes I do. But I warn you,
if you don't cheer up I'm going to start singing happy little songs."
Brec was irrepressible, and at
last, Tevi smiled. "That's quite a threat."
"I know. That's why I reserve
it for dire emergencies." Brec said in mock-seriousness.
Their route to the beach took
them through the jumble of barns and workshops on the outskirts of the village.
Decades of trampling feet had worn hollows in the dark soil. Dry-stone walls lined
either side of the path, overhung by steep thatch roofs reaching nearly to the
ground.
The fires in the smithy were low
and untended when they passed. The carpenter's, potter's and tanner's workshops
were also deserted. The arrival of the boat from Rathshorn and coming feast had
disrupted the daily schedule. Little real work was being done. The men still cleaned
and cooked, but most of the older women were using whatever excuse they could
to gather in groups and discuss the prospect of war. The younger women had assembled
on the open ground beside the river, where they practised their swordplay with
even more zeal than usual, hoping their ardour, if not their skill, would impress
the visitors.
Outside one of the stores, a group
of three men were struggling with a large cider barrel. One was Brec's brother
Sparrow, the others were distant cousins of Tevi. As soon as she saw what they
were doing Brec marched over and put a restraining hand on the barrel. The men
immediately stood back.
"Is this for the feast tonight?"
Brec asked.
"Yes. Grandmother told us
to get it." Sparrow answered defensively for the group.
"No one will drink it if
you stir up all the dregs."
"We were trying to keep it
steady."
Brec relented and smiled. "Don't
worry, Tevi and I will carry it."
"We'll cope." Sparrow
said softly.
"I'd rather not take the
chance, I'd like to drink some - or to be more precise I'd like to drink quite
a lot."
"We'll be careful."
"Tevi and I will carry it."
Brec said decisively.
"They'll be all right without
us." Tevi said, wishing to spare her knee.
"We can't leave the boys
to lug this to the main square. It must weigh twice as much as the three of them
put together." Brec said.
It was an exaggeration, but the
full barrel was certainly too heavy for the men to lift. However, thanks to Abrak's
potion, it presented no problem for Brec and Tevi. Tevi's knee complained with
each step, but the need to avoid shaking the barrel gave them the excuse to go
slowly. They wove their way to the main square with the men tagging along. Brec
kept up a stream of banter.
"You don't want to pull a
muscle, else you'll be no fun at the feast, and even less fun afterwards - although
the fun thing to pull then doesn't have a muscle in it." Brec said.
Tevi's cousins giggled.
Brec's flow of innuendo continued.
The men blushed at her more outrageous teasing. Sparrow walked beside Tevi, smiling
at her shyly. He was barely an inch taller than her, with long hair and large
brown eyes. As children, they had played together, collecting crabs and shellfish
on the beach and acting out games of make-believe. As adults their lives were
divided by the roles allocated to them, but he was still someone Tevi could consider
a friend. He seemed to like her.
"It's kind of you to help
us." Sparrow said.
"Brec was right. It's too
heavy for you to carry. Lizard should have sent some women." Tevi replied.
"I guess grandmother didn't
think."
"She must have a lot on her
mind."
"Do you think Rathshorn is
going to declare war on us?" Sparrow asked seriously.
Brec heard the question and broke
off her own conversation. "Don't worry. We'll look after you. The Rathshorn
war-band won't stand a chance. We'll cut them into pieces to use as fish-bait."
The assertion made the men smile,
although a trace of unease remained in their eyes. Brec returned to her attempt
at seduction, clearly feeling she had said all the men wanted to hear. Tevi was
not so certain. Every woman in the village was eagerly debating strategy and politics
- were the men so different? She knew Sparrow was not stupid. Surely he could
not be content with Brec's trite boasting? Yet he asked no more questions.
The barrel was finally deposited
on a stand in the village square. The five young people stood a while, talking.
Tevi was anxious to leave, but Brec prolonged the conversation, her attention
fastened on one of Tevi's cousins, who appeared flustered, but not displeased.
The square was busy. While waiting
for Brec to finish flirting Tevi had plenty of time to look around. It seemed
that she was getting more than her usual share of disapproving looks, but it was
impossible to say whether it was due to Laff's accusation, or if people were for
the first time seriously considering the prospect of her leading the war-band.
In fact, she told herself, it could be that I'm looking for evidence
of people's dislike, rather than trying to ignore it. It was hard not to be
over-sensitive.
At last, Brec was ready to continue
to the beach. They walked in silence. Brec's face was unusually serious. Tevi
assumed her friend's thoughts were still with the young man she had been chatting
up. As they reached the boat, Brec said. "Do you mind if I say something?"
"Would saying 'no' stop you?"
Tevi replied with a grin - the sight of the boat had put her in a better mood.
It always did. She placed both hands flat on the hull and felt its solid reassurance
flow into her. Tevi glanced over her shoulder. Brec was staring at her own feet
and her jaw was set. She had clearly built herself up to say something and was
not going to be deflected. A sense of premonition kicked at Tevi's stomach.
Brec swallowed and said. "You
like Sparrow, don't you?"
"Yes. He's a nice lad. Friendly
to talk to."
"I don't mean like that."
"What do you mean?"
Brec hesitated for a second, biting
her lip. "I mean... like... as a man."
Tevi fixed her eyes on the boat,
not daring to face her friend. Laff has got even Brec wondering, she thought,
What must the rest of the village be thinking? Out loud she said, "Well...
yes. He's good-looking, and he..." Tevi's words died.
Brec was also not at her most
fluent. "Because... well, what Laff said... before you hit her..."
"She was just being spiteful."
Tevi fought to keep her voice steady.
"Oh, I know that. But I think
I know what made her think of it."
Tevi's mouth went dry.
Brec's words came out in a rush.
"Tevi, I can tell you're nervous with men. I know that doesn't mean anything...
lots of women are, they just hide it. That's what the stupid bragging is about.
I do it myself, like with your cousin just now." Brec raised her eyes, her
expression worried, but sincere. "But you've got no need to be nervous. Lots
of the men like you, I can tell. Sparrow likes you. You must have noticed how
he's started hanging around you. And... I think he's just waiting for you to...
say something. You have to be more..." Brec stumbled to a stop.
Tevi could think of nothing to
say. For a moment, the truth hung on her lips. Actually, Laff was on the right
track. I'm attracted to women, not men. They were words that could not be
said. Tevi managed to mumble, "I don't know..."
"You can't let rumours get
out of hand, just because you're not like Laff, chasing after every man like a
bitch in heat."
Even if she was naive, Brec was
right, but Tevi did not want to discuss it - could not discuss it. In a desperate
bid to shift the conversation, Tevi latched on to the topic of Laff. "You're
spot on about my sister. I think she's had every available man in Holric."
"And a few who weren't really
available. There's going to be a big bust-up one of these days." Brec agreed,
but her expression was troubled.
"I don't know how she gets
away with it. She's not even discrete." Tevi could hear herself babbling
and stopped short. Brec's candour deserved a better response. "But thanks...
I'll... er, think about it. "
Brec brightened. "If you
want I'll speak to Sparrow for you."
"No." Tevi said quickly,
but then gave an apologetic grimace. "I'll sort it out myself."
"All right." Brec gave
a sigh of relief and made her own attempt to change the subject. "Why does
Laff hate you so much?"
It was not the way Tevi would
have liked the conversation to go, but she tried to give an honest answer. "I
don't know if she does. I think she just puts on a show to distance herself from
me."
"Why?"
Because she's astute enough
not to get linked to a loser. Tevi did not voice the words; they were too
blunt and too simplistic. As a child, she could remember Laff running after her,
adoration in her eyes, but at some stage Laff had learned that her big sister
was not someone to be proud of. How much had the discovery hurt? Tevi suspected
most of the venom behind her sister's attacks was revenge for that first disillusionment.
In the face of Tevi's silence
Brec answered her own question. "She's jealous because you'll be Queen one
day."
Tevi shook her head "No,
that's not fair. Laff would be happy with the role of loyal sister to a respected
Queen, but she feels I won't be able to play my part when the time comes."
"You'll do fine."
"Laff may be right."
Tevi said quietly.
"Don't be stupid."
"I'm hopeless at fighting."
"So was your grandmother,
from what I've heard. It's why she wasn't so keen to go into battle with her sisters
- and it's why she's still alive. Yet, she's been a great Queen. You must have
more faith in yourself. Why are you so worried?"
Tevi struggled to find an explanation
she could give to Brec. The sound of footsteps, scrunching on the sand, was a
welcome distraction. The pair turned to see Red appear behind the stern of the
boat. Her eyes skipped over Tevi and fixed on the other young woman.
"Brec, I was looking for
you. Lizard wants to see you right away."
Tevi's eyebrows rose. Passing
on the message was such a menial errand - surely a child could have been sent
instead of Red. It had to be something serious. Brec trotted off immediately,
saying only "I'd better go see what grandmother wants."
Alone on the beach, Red looked
at her daughter with an expression of distaste. "I don't suppose you know
where Laff is?"
"I think I saw her practising
her sword-play by the river."
Red snorted and turned away.
"Mother." Red stopped
but did not look back. "If there's something you need? Can't I help?"
"I doubt it." Without
any further words, Red limped off up the beach.
"Right. Fine. I'm sure Laff
will be more use to you." Tevi spoke to her mother's retreating back, in
a tone pitched too low to be heard.
Red vanished behind the dunes
at the top of the beach. Above the high tide line, the black sands held a ragged
cover of sea-grass. The first blooms of sand-pinks were starting to show with
a flush of colour. Tevi's gaze skimmed over the deserted scene. There was nobody
in sight. She turned and leaned her shoulders against the hull of the boat, staring
bleakly at the sea.
"You want to know why I'll
be no good as Queen?" Tevi addressed the waves with the words she could not
say to Brec. "I don't like shouting and arguing. I don't like swaggering
around all the time as if I'm looking for a fight. I don't like pretending the
only strong emotions I feel are anger or lust. I'm no good at the act anyway.
My mother is ashamed of me." It was a simple, painful fact.
Of the children Red had borne
before Tevi only three sons survived infancy. Tevi had been a desperately longed-for
heir. By the time she was three, her mother was already planning the victory feast
for Tevi's first triumphant return from battle. Tevi knew she was supposed to
become an invincible warrior and awe-inspiring leader. Watching her dreams crumble
had made Red bitter. The injury to her leg had been the final blow.
Tevi's chin sagged onto her chest
- if only one of her brothers had been a girl. She envied them. They gossiped,
dyed their beards and went about their work, unheeded and unchallenged. Men
don't have to pretend to be something they're not, she thought. She could
almost wish she had been a boy. Then it wouldn't matter how I feel about women.
Brec might even want to be my lover and... Tevi's head shot up as she squashed
the thought.
The islands had a strict set of
unwritten laws. Cowardice in battle would leave a woman disgraced forever; her
family would disown her. There was a range of punishments for stealing, from a
fine to enslavement. Treason or murder warranted the harshest penalty - death
by stoning. For one woman to take another as lover was not so clearly defined.
You might be executed, exiled, flogged or merely ridiculed - at least for a first
offence. It would all depend on circumstance, the mood the Queen was in that day
and possibly the direction the wind was blowing.
A memory came to Tevi, sharp and
vivid. Eight years before a prisoner had been brought before her grandmother.
The woman had killed another in cold blood. The Queen had passed judgement. The
murderer had been taken to the scree slopes and tied to a post. Tevi had gone
with the rest of the village to see justice done. The crowd had been a little
overawed, watching as the Queen ceremonially threw the first stone. Others had
joined in hesitantly. The first forty or so hits had resulted in torn and bleeding
skin, a broken shoulder joint, and two or three fractured ribs. The woman had
screamed for forgiveness. The next large stone had smashed the side of her face,
crushing her skull and killing her. She had been deemed fortunate.
Tevi groaned and looked at the
boat. Everything was in perfect order. There was no reason to stay away from the
village any longer, except she could not face it - not just yet. Turning away,
she walked along the beach and up the cliff path to the headland. Brec's words
kept running through her head. Her friend was right about the risks of rumours.
Tevi knew her status in the village was low enough. She did not need further scandal.
Women's sexual exploits formed
a major part of their conversation, with imagination used, where necessary, to
embellish the facts. Even allowing for exaggeration, Tevi was aware that all the
women her age had been sexually active for years. The tally Laff was notching
up gave rise in equal parts to jokes and envy. Tevi knew her own lack of enthusiasm
for men would be noticed eventually - she just hadn't worked out what to do about
it.
A line of cloud hung over the
horizon, but the sky above was clear. Sunlight glittered off the waves. Tevi stood
on the cliff tops. The brisk wind, heavy with salt, snapped at her hair. Seagulls
screeched, their feathers rippling as they hovered. For a long time Tevi stood
watching them while listening to the crash of surf below. It eased her tension,
but the decision could not be put off. It was essential she took steps to silence
the gossip. One particular course of action was unavoidable.
Tevi thought of Brec's comments
about Sparrow. Presumably, Brec knew her own brother. Would he really be willing
if she made a play for him at the feast? A rueful smile crossed Tevi's face. His
response was unimportant for her purpose. It would probably have more effect on
gossip if he ran from her screaming "No, no. You beast, unhand me!"
But if he agreed...? Tevi pursed her lips - it probably would not be so bad. After
all, she liked Sparrow. He was a friend.
Tevi hung her head. She had to
do it, but the cynical way she was planing on using Sparrow did not sit well with
her conscience. The coming evening would be a trial. The rest of her life would
be a trial. She remembered her childish disappointment when she realised that
being the Queen's granddaughter did not automatically make her the best at everything.
Tevi turned around and looked back at Holric in the distance. The sun was sinking
close to the horizon. It was time to go to the feast but, all things considered,
maybe death in battle might not be so bad.
* * * * * *
The smell of roast boar greeted
Tevi on her return to the main square. She paused by the fire pits. The air was
thick laughter and with ribbons of sweet smoke. It seemed as if every child in
Holric had gathered to watch the two pig carcasses cooking over the glowing coals.
Many stood in silent awe, eyes and mouths wide open. Others laughed and squabbled.
Women had already begun their
festivities, passing around flagons of wine and beer. There was no sign of the
envoy and her comrades - they were presumably in the Queen's hall, being entertained
more formally. The mood in the square was cheerful. For once Tevi did not feel
herself to be the subject of hostile scrutiny. A gang of young women were sprawled
to one side. For a moment, Tevi was tempted to join them, but she had an objective
to achieve that night. With a determined expression, she turned to Lizard's family
hall in search of Sparrow.
Inside it was dark and noisy,
but once her eyes got accustomed to the light, she saw Sparrow surrounded by a
group of small boys. He was helping braid their hair. Tevi made her way to within
a few feet of him, then came to a standstill, suddenly very nervous and uncertain.
For a while, she watched Sparrow, until one boy tapped his shoulder and pointed
in her direction.
Sparrow looked up and smiled.
"Hello. Are you looking for Brec? She's only just gone."
"No." Tevi said. "Actually
I was looking for you."
"Me?"
"Well, I thought... you might
like to come with me... if you're finished here. And I... we could see if the
cider has settled. It might be nice if you and I, er..." Tevi knew she was
flustered, she prayed she was not blushing as well. "spent some time together."
The knot in Tevi's stomach tightened,
however she was relieved, and just a little surprised, to see the expression on
his face change to a broad smile.
"I'd like that. But I thought
you were due to meet Brec. She was looking everywhere for you." he said.
"We had no plans." Tevi
was a little confused.
"She seemed very anxious
to find you."
"I'm sure we'll bang into
her at the feast."
"I think it was important."
"I don't know..." Tevi
hesitated.
"It's not a problem. I'm
going to be a bit longer with the children. When I'm finished, I'll look for you.
I promise." It was Sparrow's turn to be shy. He fiddled with the comb in
his hand, but then gave Tevi another broad smile.
"All right. I'll go and find
her. We'll meet later." Tevi stood shifting from foot to foot, wondering
if she should make some gesture - hug him, but it felt false. Besides, all he'd
agreed was to meet her at the feast. He might be assuming she only wanted company.
There would be time to say more later - and the cider would help.
Tevi settled for trying to match
his smile before she left. Once outside she raised her face to the sky and let
out a deep sigh. Sparrow had seemed happy. Maybe Brec was right about his liking
of her. Tevi did not know whether to feel pleased or frightened.
At the thought of Brec Tevi stopped
and looked about. The village square was swarming, but there was no sign of her
friend.
"Have you seen Brec recently?"
Tevi asked a woman standing nearby.
"She was looking for you.
I think she headed off to your boat... thought you might be there."
"Right, thanks."
Tevi jostled through the crowded
square with as much speed as possible. The sun had not yet set, but already some
people were slightly drunk. They would not last until the end of the feast. One
almost fell in her path. Running bands of children presented further obstacles,
colliding with her at waist height. It took several minutes before she cleared
the press of people lining the edge of the square. The noise was left behind.
The outskirts of Holric were deserted but, on the way to the beach, she could
see a lone figure.
"HEY. BREC!" Tevi shouted.
The figure stopped and ran back.
"Where've you been? I've searched everywhere for you."
"What's up?"
Brec was clearly agitated, now
she was close enough for Tevi to see her face. "I need to talk to you. Come
with me." Brec said.
"What about? What's wrong?"
Tevi was worried.
"We can't talk here. Come
on."
Brec could not be drawn to say
anything more. Anxiously Tevi followed her friend along the riverbank. They passed
the empty workshops. At last, Brec lead the way into one of the barns at the edge
of Holric. A mound of hay filled the back of the room. A row of small barrels
lined one side and a few others were scattered in the middle. Apart from this,
the building was empty.
"Right. So what is this about?"
Tevi asked.
However, Brec held up one hand.
She clambered onto the hay and peered over at the rear wall. Tevi stared in astonishment.
"I have to check if we are
alone." Brec said.
"What... why?"
"You'll understand."
Brec returned to where Tevi was
standing and pushed the door shut. The last of the sun's rays fell square on the
timber planks. Light squeezed through the cracks so Tevi could see well enough.
She selected one of the barrels and sat on it, waiting for an explanation.
Brec had her hands clasped behind
the back of her head, staring at the ceiling. The dim light made it hard to judge
her expression. Only the faint sounds from the distant square broke the silence.
"Brec?" Tevi prompted
her friend.
"I've been thinking... about
what we were saying beside the boat. At least... I've been doing a bit more thinking."
Brec said unsteadily.
"And so have I. I've talked
to Sparrow and I think you're right. He does like me."
"You're not really keen on
him."
"Of course I am." Tevi
said.
"But not as a man."
Brec's voice was quiet. "You're sister was right, wasn't she?"
"Brec!"
"It's all right. You don't
have to deny it."
Tevi's mouth went dry. For the
space of a dozen heartbeats she could not force out any words. She was tempted
to give in to panic and run. Eventually she found her voice. "Has someone
been getting at you? Was it Laff? You shouldn't bother about her. Come on, let's
go back to the feast." Tevi stood.
The other woman made no attempt
to move. She was clearly fighting for words.
"Brec?"
Brec face dropped into her hands.
Her voice came in a strangled whisper through her fingers. "I love you, Tevi."
The words hit Tevi like a physical
blow. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Her legs turned to jelly. Stunned, she
sank back onto the barrel while the barn around her seemed to ripple and fade.
"Tevi?" Brec's voice
was tense, devoid of emotion.
Tevi did not answer. In her mind's
eye she saw the body of the executed murderer, sagging broken and blood-soaked
against the post.
"Tevi. Did you hear me? I
said I love you."
"It's dangerous."
"But do you love me?"
"You must know that I do."
Tevi said in a monotone whisper.
"Will you meet me here tonight?"
Brec spoke urgently.
Things were going too far, too
fast. The solid world was wrenched out of joint and Tevi felt half-stunned, or
half-drunk, yet the implications of the request struck through the fog. She stared
at her friend in alarm. "Hang on! Have you gone mad? Do you know what'll
happen if we're caught?"
"I don't care." Brec
said.
"We could be exiled or executed."
"Are you frightened?"
"Yes. Aren't you?" Tevi's
head was spinning.
"But it's just the fear of
being caught? If it was safe you'd want to be my lover?" Brec's voice was
harsh in its insistence.
Tevi's head dropped as she fought
for control of her voice, but now she could be honest. "More than anything
in the world. I've loved you hopelessly for years."
"Then please, meet me here
tonight. No one will miss us with the feast."
Tevi knew it was insane, but she
could not say no. "All right, I'll be here."
"And we'll be lovers?"
Brec's question sounded like a challenge.
"Yes."
"I think we've heard enough."
The Queen's voice rang out. Tevi's head jerked in its direction. There was movement
at the rear of the barn - someone emerging from behind the hay. Bewildered, Tevi
spun back just in time to see Brec's fist. The blow knocked her sprawling on the
floor. A foot swung into her stomach, driving the air from her lungs.
"Stop that." the Queen
said sharply.
Gasping for breath, Tevi was vaguely
aware of the presence of more people in the barn - walking around, standing over
her. Their feet passed in front of her face.
Brec's voice sounded over the
others. "Goddess! Did you hear her? I don't know how I managed to..."
The Queen broke in sharply. "We
heard her. You played your part well. Don't overplay it. Now, bring her here and
let's see if we can sort this out."
Still fighting to suck air into
her lungs, Tevi was hauled to her knees and dragged across the barn. There was
the sound of a flint being struck and the gentle light of a lantern sprang into
life. Movement in the barn subsided. Tevi's head cleared as her breath returned.
She found herself kneeling in
the centre of the floor. Both her arms were twisted behind her - sufficient to
hurt a little and prevent her standing, but not enough to cause any damage. Tevi
twisted her neck. Brec was holding one of her arms, Laff the other. In front of
her Lizard and the Queen sat on barrels. Red adjusted the lantern before limping
over and joining the two older women. A cold fist clenched Tevi's stomach - three
judges and herself as prisoner. The hay barn was empty apart from the six of them.
Silence dragged on painfully until
her grandmother said. "I take it you accept the authority of this court.
Or would you prefer a public hearing?"
Tevi shook her head, not trusting
herself to speak.
"I thought as much. So, what
are we going to do with you? You really do present quite a problem."
"She always has. I blame
myself for bearing her." Red interjected.
Tevi looked towards her mother,
swamped with the bitter thought that Red would be unmoved to see her elder daughter
provide the village with one last afternoon's entertainment on the scree slope.
The Queen spoke calmly. "Blame
isn't the issue. As I said, Tevi presents us with a problem. We have to decide
what to do about it."
"You're going to have me
executed." Tevi found her voice.
The Queen shook her head. "That's
an option, but not a very good one. I'd have to tell people why, and I'm afraid
it would have a damaging effect on our family's reputation. With imminent war
against Rathshorn we cannot afford that sort of scandal."
"So why have you engineered
this?" Tevi asked.
"Because you were all set
to cause a scandal whether I acted or not. Knowing you, you'd set it off at the
worst possible moment. That's why I decided to pre-empt things. Always meet trouble
halfway, it lets you pick the battleground. I learnt that years ago. Right now
we're in an awkward situation. Executing you will only make it worse." The
Queen paused while she brushed loose straw from her knees. The lamplight flickered
in a gust of air. "So I'm going to give you an option."
Tevi raised her chin. A pulse
leapt erratically in her throat. "You want me to kill myself - fall on my
sword." At least it was a clean death and would spare her the humiliation
of a public execution. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, but her grandmother
shook her head.
"That would be a better option,
but still not the best. If you commit suicide, people will talk. The gossip might
even make things worse than they actually are. You can bet Queen Fearless-warrior
would do her best to fan the speculation. Even if you make your death look like
an accident - fall overboard and drown, it will be seen as bad-luck. Coming on
top of your mother's injury and losing the chalice, we would be seen as a very
unlucky family. People would say the Goddess had turned her back on us, which
won't help in gaining allies."
"So what do you want me to
do?"
"I want you to go."
the Queen said firmly.
"Where?"
"Anywhere. The further the
better."
"You're exiling me."
Tevi said.
"In effect, yes. To do it
officially would give free reign to the rumourmongers, so I want you to appear
to go of your own accord. The feast tonight will provide a suitable audience.
I want you to put on an act for them, like Brec did just now. Make a scene. Say
the theft of the chalice is an insult to our family and you can no longer sit
back and do nothing. Swear that you're going in search of Abrak's chalice and
won't return until you find it."
"But nobody knows were the
chalice is."
"So nobody will be surprised
when you don't come back." the Queen said.
"And if I refuse?"
"I'll have to think of something
else. Maybe arrange for you to be murdered and frame one of the women from Rathshorn.
It might work in our favour, but it would be a very high-risk plan. Much better
for you to disappear on a heroic quest - it's romantic and will make for some
good songs. But, one way or another, I'll make sure you don't disgrace the family."
Steel had crept into the Queen's voice.
Tevi raised her eyes to the roof.
Shouts and laughter carried from the square. Someone was beating out a rhythm
on a drum, displaying more enthusiasm than skill. Both Brec and Laff were shaking,
even more than herself. A trap had closed around her, and there was no escape.
"It's not a real choice, is it? All right, I'll give you what you want. I'll
go." The gasp of relief from her sister surprised Tevi.
The Queen nodded. "Let her
stand."
Tevi's arms were released. She
got to her feet, rubbing her shoulders. She did not attempt to look at Brec. The
Queen also stood and said, "Now I think we should leave as discreetly as
possible, not all at once."
Laff beat everyone to the door,
wrenching it open and rushing out. Brec would have followed close on her heels,
but the Queen repeated sharply, "I said, not all at once."
Brec stopped as if she had hit
a wall. She leaned against the doorpost, breathing deeply, her eyes fixed on the
Queen. After a while, the elderly woman nodded. Brec spun out of the door and
marched off in the direction Laff had taken.
A cold, dead feeling settled on
Tevi. She stood, hardly conscious of the room around her, until a gentle push
from her grandmother sent her tottering through the doorway.
Lizard left next, after a brief
exchange of regrets.
Once she was alone with the Queen,
Red ran her hands through her hair and scowled. "It's the one big disadvantage
of being a woman - you can't dispute who your children are. At least, if I were
a man, I could've questioned whether she really was mine."
"Nor can I deny that I'm
her grandmother, but, unlike you, I'll confess I'm saddened to lose her, particularly
in this fashion." the Queen said quietly.
"You can't mean that."
"But I do. And I also think,
somewhere deep inside, you're grieving too, though I know you'll never admit it."
Red snorted and stuck out her
chin. "That's because I'm not. If I'd been in your place I'd have gone for
framing one of the Rathshorn women for her murder."
"How can you say that? It's
our flesh and blood we're talking about."
"Supposing she doesn't leave
the islands? Supposing she joins with Fearless-warrior?"
"She won't"
"How can you be so sure?"
Red demanded.
"That's what this whole charade
was about. I could have just spoken to her in private, explained my suspicions
about her preference in lovers and asked her to go. Then she might have fled to
Rathshorn. What I had to do was drive it home that she had no future on any of
the islands. There'd always be the risk of rumours catching up with her. On top
of that, my guess is she'll want to get as far from Brec as possible. If she sails
to the opposite end of the earth she won't feel it's far enough."
"Well it's my bet that she
comes to a miserable end, no matter where she meets it."
"Hopefully not. Anyway, she
should do better than she would here. If only she knew it I've done her a favour.
She wouldn't last five minutes in battle, or five days as Queen. But if I thought
she had a chance I'd back her to the hilt."
"You've always had a soft
spot for Tevi." Red said.
"While you've long preferred
Laff. But let me tell you, given an even chance, Tevi would make a much better
Queen. Leastwise I'd feel happier passing Storenseg on to her care."
Red gave a barking laugh of disbelief.
"I'm being serious."
the Queen said.
"With respect, mother, I
think you are being blinkered."
"Tevi is neither a fool nor
a coward."
"Nor is Laff." Red retorted.
"Laff doesn't think she can
lose, and that's a good starting point for leading the whole island to ruin."
"At least I know I can trust
her."
"Despite what you think,
you can trust Tevi. At least she'd never betray a friend, unlike Brec." Contempt
was clear in the Queen's voice.
"I think Lizard will tell
you it took a lot of argument, not to mention downright threats, to get Brec to
go along with this. They were embroiled together for hours after I sent Brec to
her. Come to that, it took me enough time to talk Laff into assisting."
"She clearly wasn't happy."
the Queen observed.
"I'd have thought she'd be
more eager for her chance to lead the war-band."
"I've always suspected she
taunted Tevi more to persuade herself of her dislike than anyone else. I only
hope she doesn't blame us too much." the Queen said thoughtfully.
"Why should she?"
"Because I blame myself.
I keep thinking I should've been more alert, or found some way to avoid this situation."
"I don't think it was ever
possible. Anyway, it's over now."
"Oh yes, for us." The
Queen looked at her daughter with clear disapproval. "We'd better get to
the celebrations before our absence becomes too marked." After one final
glance around, she stalked out.
Red collected the lamp and followed
slowly, addressing her last comment to the empty barn. "I still think we're
well rid of her."
* * * * * *
The sound of waves rushing onto
the beach echoed softly on the night air. Stars peeked between torn shreds of
clouds. Tevi lay on the sand in the lea of her boat, wrapped in an old wool blanket.
She was warm and comfortable enough, but could not sleep. The scene she had made
kept running through her head. It had gone much easier than expected. Carried
by the pain of rejection and betrayal, her vehemence surprised even those expecting
the speech. People had sat stunned, some with jaws hanging open. The Goddess alone
knew what the women from Rathshorn had made of it.
Throughout it all her mother had
stared at the ground, lips compressed in a tight line. Laff's eyes had darted
nervously, not resting on anything but particularly avoiding Tevi. No doubt some
added Laff's guilty expression to the fresh bruise on Tevi's face and drawn the
wrong conclusions as to what had prompted Tevi's outburst. There had been no sign
of Brec. Only the Queen dared meet Tevi's glare, but that ancient face, schooled
by decades of intrigue, had given no indication of her thoughts.
The surge of emotion had carried
Tevi on. Fired by her determination to get away, she had gone further than required,
swearing by earth, wind and water, not to eat another mouthful nor sleep another
night under her family's roof, until she returned with the stolen chalice. Now
it was all over, her rage had faded and she was alone with her boat on the beach.
She placed a hand on the wooden
planks of the hull, a small fishing boat, barely fifteen feet in length. Normally
it held a crew of four but, without the need to handle nets, Tevi knew she would
have no trouble sailing alone. Her grandmother had not said she could take it,
but she could hardly be expected to leave Storenseg on foot. It would take only
a day to stock the boat for the voyage and gather her few belongings, then she
would be gone - forever.
In the distance, the sounds of
the feast were dying down. Only the occasional barked laugh or chorus of song
disturbed the peace. The revellers were going to their beds. The poorest, the
slaves and outcasts, would sleep in rough shacks on the edge of Holric. The more
fortunate would enter their family halls. In the Queen's house, the members of
her family - cousins, aunts and nieces, would be settling around the fire. At
the edges men of the household who were not claimed by a woman, would sleep with
the babies and young children snuggled to them for warmth.
In that hall, Tevi had slept virtually
every night since she was born. She could envisage the scene. Many of the elder
ones, overcome by drink, would already be snoring loudly. The younger girls, too
excited to fall asleep quickly, would be whispering jokes and gossip. The silence
would also be disturbed by people making their way to and from the village midden,
with sharp oaths when they drunkenly tripped over an out-flung foot or arm. And
then there would be the quiet noises of women, amusing themselves with their choice
of man for the night, the only privacy coming from darkness and custom. Only if
someone created too much disturbance would anything be said and even then it would
be one of the standard, age-worn clichés, no names mentioned, addressed
to the room in general. It would be appalling rudeness to watch or make comment,
but of course everyone knew who every woman's lover was. Tevi realised she had
been beguiled by the etiquette. It must have been so obvious that she always slept
alone.
Even great-aunt Wirry, toothless
and deaf, had taken a man four or five times a year, right up to the month of
her death. It had strained convention almost to the limit, only her great age
sparing her. Like most deaf people, she underestimated the volume of her own voice.
Tevi recalled one occasion when Wirry had snapped out. "What do you think
you're doing now?" It was in the days before hostility had grown between
the two sisters. Laff had been close by. She rolled over and whispered a suggested
answer so outrageous Tevi had been forced to bite on her arm to stop from laughing
aloud.
The memory cut Tevi like a knife
to the heart. Never again would she sleep in her family hall. She rolled onto
her back and lay, staring upwards. By now the village was almost silent. Tevi
could hear the sea-grass whispering in the breeze, and then the sound of uncertain
footsteps approaching.
She slipped from her blanket and
crouched in the shadow of the boat. In the faint light she could see a silhouette,
standing on the sand a few yards away. Tevi started to fumble for her knife, suddenly
worried that her grandmother might be putting another plan into effect.
"Tevi?" It was a quiet
male voice.
"Who is it?"
At that moment, the moon drifted
clear of the cloud, illuminating the beach and, even as she recognised Sparrow,
he leapt forward and dived into her arms. Tevi was surprised to realise he was
crying.
"They say you're going."
Sparrow said between sobs.
"That's true." Tevi
said.
"Please don't."
"I've sworn an oath, I can't
break my word."
Sparrow pulled back a little and
sat upright. He turned his face from her. In the moonlight his half grown beard
was almost invisible and Tevi could see Brec's nose, and Brec's high check bone.
She had always known where the attraction she found in Sparrow lay.
"You're going to get Abrak's
chalice." Sparrow said.
"That's what I said."
"How will you find it? I
was in the square the day it was stolen. This big black bird just picked it up
and flew straight out to sea. They say it was heading back to a sorcerer on the
mainland. The chalice could be anywhere, how will you know where to look?"
Tevi did not know how to reply.
There was no sensible answer to the question. In the end she mumbled, "I'll
talk to people on the mainland when I get there. Find someone who knows."
"Take me with you."
"Don't be silly."
"I mean it." Sparrow
said earnestly.
"I'm leaving the islands.
It's no place for a man." Tevi looked at him curiously. "Why do you
want to go?"
"I like you. You're not like
all the other women."
Tevi groaned inwardly.
Sparrow dug holes in the sand
with his fingers as he continued. "All the men like you. You talk to us as
if you're interested. The other women pester us, some won't leave us alone, but
you're the only one who acts as if you actually like men - as people, as if you
want to be our friend."
Tevi tried to cover her surprise.
"I've got to leave Storenseg, and I can't take you with me. The other women
here - they like men really. You'll be safe here with them."
"I'd rather be with you."
"You can't come with me."
Tevi said gently.
"I'll miss you." Sparrow
was crying again.
Tevi put her arm around his shoulder.
"I'll miss you too."
Sparrow continued pushing the
sand back and forth, while he built up courage for his next sentence. "Can
I spend the night here with you? To remember you." Tentatively, he reached
for her hand.
This time Tevi groaned out loud
and raised her eyes to the sky. Somewhere there was a goddess with a very poor
sense of humour.
Sparrow drew back, hurt by her
response. "You do like me, don't you?"
"Yes I do, but... look, if
things hadn't turned out how they did I would have..." Biting her tongue,
Tevi let the sentence trail off. She searched desperately for something to say.
"I've got to go, and I don't know when I'll be back. It would be best if
you tried to forget me and sleeping with me tonight won't help. Also I don't know
what's ahead of me, but I'd rather face it without the chance of being pregnant."
Sparrow looked as if he still
wanted to argue. Tevi did not give him the chance. "I think you should go
back to your grandmother's. I'll escort you."
Nothing was said as they walked
to the village. At the entrance to Lizard's family hall they stopped. The square
was empty except for them. Tevi was tall for a woman, her face level with Sparrow's.
Tears were forming in his eyes. On a sudden impulse, she took hold of his shoulders
and pulled him to her. They kissed for a while. His arms slowly tightened around
her as they explored each other's mouths. For a moment Tevi was tempted to change
her decision. At least Sparrow wanted her. Yet, finally she pushed them apart
gently. Sparrow stepped back, looking as if he was about to speak, but instead
turned and disappeared into the hall.
Tevi slowly walked back to the
beach. The moon lit the familiar landmarks in harsh tones of black and white.
She was overwhelmed by an unbearable sense of loss. This was the only world she'd
ever known; the fact she didn't much like it hardly mattered.
Continued in Chapter 3
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