Chapter 4

Cory awoke she’d slept restlessly; she had woken several times in the night covered in sweat and with a worrying sensation in her tummy. She didn’t know why she usually slept very heavy and it took a lot to wake her up. She opened her bleary eyes and looked over to the alarm clock, 7.00, typical a weekend morning and her body clock was still on her weekday routine. She put her head back on the pillow, Sam was still asleep and if she moved he was sure to wake. He slept very lightly and every sound or move woke him. She could feel herself growing restless, she needed the toilet and she knew once she got up she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. She crept out of the side of the bed.

“What’s up Cor?” asked Sam groggily, “ You alright? You fidgeted a lot last night, bad dreams?”

“Sorry Sam didn’t mean to disturb you. I don’t know what was wrong, must have been something I ate. My tummy feels sickly. Go back to sleep I’ll sort the animals out and then I thought I’d go play on the computer.”

“ Come back to bed. I’ll rub your tummy if you want?” moaned Sam.

“No I’ll only fidget and you look tired. I’ll go make a cup of tea.”

Sam muttered something under his breath but Cory didn’t wait to hear it, she went into the ensuite and did her morning ablutions. She then shut the bedroom door and on her way past the office she booted up the laptop. She made her way down to the waiting menagerie of animals. She greeted each one and gave the cats a cuddle each. They were sat on the kitchen worktops. Some people felt this rather unhealthy but with a huge German Shepherd in the house it was the only place the cats could be fed without Holly devouring their food. She put the meat in the bowls and then turned her attention to the tea making. She switched the kettle on, put a teabag in each cup and a sugar. Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil she ran upstairs and pressed the Outlook Express button then ran downstairs to finish the task. She poured boiling water over the bags and added the milk. She then stirred the contents until the tea had a nice orangy colour and took the teabags out.

Her journey upstairs was interrupted by the morning mail arriving, she glanced at the pile on the mat by the door and decided none of them were urgent and she left them for later. She deposited Sam’s tea beside his slumbering body and went into the office. She scanned the mails, a sense of disappointment descending on her when she noticed that JJ hadn’t sent her one. She hadn’t really expected one as it was her turn to mail but she’d kind of got used to one being there. She opened up a new mail and began to compose the letter.

# Cory Williams A little history

Hi JJ,

Had trouble sleeping for some reason I keep getting these dreams and they wake me up – the thing is I usually remember my dreams but for some reason I can’t quite piece all of this one together.

So I guess it’d be good to give you some sort of background about me.

Well I went to school in my hometown Warwick, a town very near to Stratford where William Shakespeare was born and lived! It’s a very quiet town, a few shops and lots of pubs! (I think they’re bars to you). I stayed on at school after turning 16 and did my A’ levels in Economics, Biology and English Literature, I knew I wanted to teach but I didn’t know what in. I’d struggled to get my A’ levels my concentration span is so poor that the thought of 4 more years scared me. I got accepted at all my college applications and for some strange reason one of them was for PE. I talked to one of my teacher’s and she suggested I go for the Physical Education course as it’d keep me interested and I stood a good chance of surviving the 4 years study. I graduated in 1993 and have never looked back.

Sam and I met New Year’s Eve 1994, I’d gone down to friends in Wales and got drunk and met Sam. We have lots in common although we are complete opposites. He’s a very quiet, solitary person who likes his own company; me well I can talk for England! He doesn’t speak to any of his family except his father and he detests his mother with a passion; me – well I’m from a very close family, you can’t go a week without phoning home or else they send out a search party. This infuriates the hell out of Sam as everyone knows everyone else’s business but at least I know I’m loved! So how did you and Sarah meet?

I am a middle child and suffer from the middle child syndrome, never the first to do anything and not the first-born and well I’m no longer the baby of the family! My sister is my true sister, my mum has been married twice and well my real father left when I was 1 and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t know the specifics – I only know my mother’s side of the story and well if I’m honest I don’t think she’s telling us everything, apparently they married young and after Kerry and me they just didn’t get on. I still haven’t got over not knowing my father although my mum married a wonderful man 3 years later and he has been great. It’s nice to know he chose Kerry and I and knew what he was getting. They’ve just celebrated their 25 years together. They fight like cats and dogs but they do love each other. My brother is 5 years younger than me, and called Mike. When my mum and dad split up we went to live with my grandparents and they kind of brought us up. We would spend every weekend with them. My Grandad is my hero, my sister was my Nan’s favourite and I am my Grandad’s. When we were younger my sister would spend hours helping my Nan in the house-cooking etc, probably why she went into the catering business. As for me I was always out with my Grandad doing deals and scams. I love him dearly and that’s why it hurts so much that he is now very ill, he has cancer of the stomach and they’ve said it’s terminal. Talking of which you said your mother had died. If it’s not too personal when did she die?

Well it is Good Morning to you I hope! I’m planning on having a lazy day but whenever I plan these something always crops up!
Oh yeah excuse my ignorance but what States surround Massachusetts? I never spell this correctly!! The spell checker always picks it up and I call myself a teacher!

I must stop rambling or this will never get sent.

What do you think we ought to do next with our reports??? You’re the oldest you decide! (vbg)

You said it was snowing in your last mail so I hope the snow’s not too deep!!! It's quite a nice looking but cold day here - I’ll speak to you later.

Cory

Ps I missed your morning mail – I hope everything is okay – I guess you do have a real life to live!! Just me worrying!

*******************************************************************

The rest of the weekend had gone by in a blur. So much for a lazy weekend! It was now early Sunday evening, she hadn’t checked her mail yet – she’d decided she needed to do her chores, the house had needed tidying, and it hadn’t really had a good clean since Christmas and it was nearly February. Whenever she sat in front of the computer the hours seemed to fly by. She was feeling quite pleased with herself as she’d managed to do so much in the time. She’d spent the morning planning her work for the week. She had a busy week ahead of her and she wouldn’t be in much the following week as it was her birthday, her 29th, she was creeping closer and closer to the dreaded 30.

She’d never really worried about her age as she felt young and healthy and many people said she only looked 18, which was true but she’d noticed the odd wrinkle which she called a laughter line and well everyone kept saying that she was getting older and needed to think about starting a family. She had thought seriously about this last year and while she knew she had maternal instincts and loved being around children she didn’t feel secure in her relationship with Sam. She knew they were drifting apart, she’d talked to Sam about her feelings about their relationship but Sam had just gone on about the pressures of work and that she read too many books and real life wasn’t made up of candles and roses. She knew this to be untrue, she admitted she was a romantic at heart and that Sam wasn’t but a little bit of romance wouldn’t kill him. She got flowers twice a year off Sam both in the same week, one bunch for her birthday and one bunch for Valentine’s Day. When they first started going out this to her had been romantic especially when he sent them to school, but as the years had gone on it had become a habit and Sam just did it out of duty now.

She’d also visited her parents and had spent quality time with her Grandad and was cheered that he was looking fit and healthy. The doctor’s had given him a few months in September and being the stubborn mule that he was, he was determined to prove them wrong. He’d put on weight, which was pleasing, as the cancer in his stomach had made eating difficult. He was living with her parents so he was being fed well and looked after which was a relief as he’d found life hard since her Nan had died and hadn’t been feeding himself well.

She was now in the lounge, they’d just finished their Sunday meal and she’d surfed the television channels but there was nothing on that she really wanted to watch so she’d relinquished the remote controls and Sam was watching the golf. She placed the laptop by the telephone socket and sat in the corner, like a little gnome, she closed down her work files and opened the e-mail file, the download process began. There were a variety of mails and as she scanned down she saw JJ’s name and her heart skipped a beat. She was sure there was a blush on her face. Cory didn’t know what was happening to her body. She was married for god’s sake but something about this person made her body do strange things. She’d put it down to the fact that she’d finally found someone she could be truly honest with. Well it wasn’t hard really as you didn’t have to look the person on the other end of the mail in the eye and it was just easier; kind of like writing a journal.

She opened the mail:

JJ Matthews Re: A little history

### Hey there,

I’m sorry about the lack of mails – I played Ice Hockey on Friday evening and got taken out in a vicious attack – nothing too serious; a bang to the head, which made me sick, and a bruised hand. Still that’s the price I pay for playing such a physical game – you should see the other girl!! bg The doctor suggested rest for the hand so typing was out!

I haven't had a lazy day in a long time, good for you – so did you get to do nothing or did real life take over?

As for rambling, I’m not one for idle conversation but with you it seems very natural. I have always been told I am very hard to get to know I keep too much to myself. What I like about our e-mails is the fact they are part the war, but also we are getting to know somebody as well. It is a little more personal.

My mother was diagnosed with a tumor on her kidney about 7 years ago. That is the renal cell area. She had it removed. I was living in Germany at the time; luckily I had planned a vacation (holiday) for six weeks at the same time. The doctors told us they got all of the tumor and cancer. Well four and a half years later they found it was growing back. In the meantime for me I was back in the States, but living in Texas. To make matters worse I was thinking about moving to California. I asked my mother what did she think should I come home or go there. She said to go. That was in Oct 1997. She got sicker in the end of November of 1997. I saw her at Christmas, by then she was in the hospital and not doing well. I left to go back to California and 2 weeks later my father called me and said to come home. I unfortunately didn't get to see her before she died. She died on Jan 10. I came back home in April of 1998 and will never leave my family again. I never realized how important my family is to me and never want to miss any of it. I hope that makes sense. Sarah was very close to my mother and she was so upset. I was in such shock I don't really remember any of it. I just knew I had to be strong for my father. It took me almost a year before it sank in and I let myself really cry.

I don't speak to my friends from college that much, but my friends from school I do. I have known them for 25 years. So if this friendship thing works out for us (looks good so far) you just might be stuck with me as a friend for a long time. You still have time to back out.

Oh yeah as for our search, I have no idea what to do next. Give me some time to think about it, do you have any ideas? Just because I am the eldest doesn't mean I always know what is best! :-)

In answer to your question Massachusetts is in the Northeast AKA New England. We are on the east coast - the beach is 20 minutes from my
house, we are near New Hampshire, Vermont, New York,
Connecticut, Maine.

The snow isn't too bad but it is very cold outside, though. There has been a warning for frostbite.

Well my computer room won't paint itself so I must tear myself away from the computer and do it. I am going to hit the gym later, whilst there I may come up with some more ideas for out report to the list! I hope I am not too shattered afterwards. (Using my new favorite word)

Have a great evening, Cory - talk you later today probably tonight for you.

### JJ

p.s. If there were no more women in the world, I could live with a guy!

Cory reread the mail and when she got to the third paragraph she felt a lump form in her throat. The mail had touched her heart and she desperately wanted to give JJ a hug but that was impossible she’d only known her less than a week but the honesty and openness in their mails was comforting and she so wanted to get to know this person better.

She hit the reply button:

Cory Williams Bored across the pond

Hi

Sorry to hear about your accident, I haven’t had chance to check my mails until now. We had a busy weekend with one thing and another. Well we’ve had some very emotional mails this week so I’m going to lighten the mood plus I am one very bored cub here - UK television is not fantastic on a Sunday night - even Sky is crap.

So you drew the short straw as I figured I'd ramble on a bit more.

Musical tastes that’s a good topic to discuss:

I love Cher (saw her in concert last month with another one of the cubs), Annie Lennox. The Beautiful South, Gloria Estefan, Celine Dion (but I'm only admitting that to you!), Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, Bette Midler and Texas - to name but a few.

Favourite films:

Nottinghill, Calamity Jane (I love Doris Day), 4 Weddings and a Funeral and best of all The Star Wars trilogy.

Favourite Comedians:

Billy Connolly, Alan Davis, Victoria Wood and Jasper Carrot.

Favourite Television Shows

I used to love Cagney and Lacey (I was in Sharon Gless' fanclub but that's the only other fan club I've ever been in). I like Star Trek - Next Gen and Voyager but I'm not on any on-line stuff.

My favourite soap is Eastenders and Emmerdale but they’re UK shows and you wouldn’t know them. I like them as they make my life seem wonderful as every character is usually going through a crisis!

Anyway I hope I haven't sent you to sleep - I think you may have met your match for talking! You said you were redoing your office, how’s the refurbishment going?

Have a good evening – mail you tomorrow – I might scan some pictures on of me and send you one.

Cory

Cory was jolted back to reality by Sam’s voice.

“Sorry what did you say?” Cory asked.

“I said do you want to watch London’s Burning? It’s the new series. You were miles away. What you doing?”

“You know I told you about that role-playing well I’ve joined in too. I met someone on there and we’ve joined forces. She seems really nice; JJ’s her name. She lives with her partner Sarah in America.” Cory said the last part rather quickly. She knew Sam’s views about gay people, he was sort of homophobic and it irritated Cory like mad, especially as she had something in her past that she hadn’t told him. To be precise she hadn’t told anyone.

“You mean she’s a lesbian?”

“That’s usually what it’s called when two women live together. Why are you pulling that face?”

“It’s not natural Cor. Gives me the willies!”

“Well at least it’s you getting the willies! They certainly don’t want them!” She grinned at him and decided it was time to change the subject. She looked at her watch, it was too early to go to bed but too late to really do anything so she decided to have a cuddle and watch London’s Burning.

An hour later and she found herself yawning, she was very comfortable, she noticed that they weren’t actually cuddling, she was using Sam more as a pillow and his arm was around her but there was no pressure and he hadn’t shown any interest in stroking her hands or anything. It was just comfortable like an old friend. This worried her, if she wanted just friendship she’d have married her best friend Angela!

She slid onto the floor and crawled to the computer.

“Where you going?”

“I’m just going to check my mail one more time. I have a feeling JJ might have mailed me and well it’s just nice to get personal mail.”

“You’re always on that bloody thing, we never spend time together!” he moaned.

“We’ve just spent an hour watching the television – what do you want us to do?” Cory looked at him a tired expression on her face.

“Well nothing but it’d be nice if you paid me as much attention as you do your e-mail mates.” Sam whined.

“Look I’ll check my mail, then we’ll have an early night. You feeling amorous.” Cory looked at Sam and noticed he’d suddenly found the remote control interesting and was surfing the channels.

“Look the golf’s still on. You check your mails, don’t worry about me.”

Cory shrugged, it worked every time she mentioned the prospect of sex and Sam suddenly found something else to do. It usually depressed her but at this moment in time she was feeling happy. She just knew there’d be a mail waiting for her. She downloaded and didn’t have to wait too long, there it was and she’d known it would be there.

JJ Matthews Re: Bored across the pond

Hey there,

I am glad you decided to write. The office make over is going well, I’m on the painting and it’s going pretty good. I have to do a second coat, next weekend. It was funny I was going to write tonight and send you my favorites. So without further ado.

Musical tastes

I love Cher; Sarah and I will be seeing her in March. Other faves, Elton John, Melissa Etheridge, Gloria, and believe it or not Mariah Carey (her music not attitude).

Favorite films:

The Other Sister (with Juliette Lewis), The Santa Clause, Birdcage, Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar.

Favorite Comedians:

Paula Poundstone, Ray Romano

Favorite Television Shows

Cagney and Lacey - (Sharon Gless oh yeah), Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Party of Five, Le Femme Nikita and my soap opera "Days of our Lives" I tape it.

You didn’t send me to sleep!! As for the talking part as long as you don't mind I don't.

From the previous email

You asked me about Sarah. We didn't meet until 1994. We both moved home after broken up relationships and we worked for the same supermarket. I played hard to get, because I was so unsure of another relationship. That was almost six years ago. We are both so opposite sometimes I wonder how we stay together. We have a great time together so that must be it. Sarah doesn't like computers, so she’s not into e-mailing lists. She likes cop shows and real life trauma in the E.R. shows-- my stomach can't stand those shows.

My friends from college know me as a different person and we are all from different states. My friends from high school I live near now. I am at the most 1-hour or so from my best friend from high school. When I came out to them and myself they understood and stood by me. My friends are; Nancy (who has seen me at my worst) she lives two streets over. My friend Katy she lives 10 minutes away. My friend Ellen lives also ten minutes away. My friend Patsy (she is gay, too) lives about 40 minutes away and my friend Faye lives about 1 hour away. We hung out in high school and had a passion for sports and didn't drink. We separated in college, but in the recent years have gotten back together. It is almost like we never had years apart.

When it comes to the house, Sarah is the outside person and I am the inside. I hate mowing the lawn and raking leaves. I will vacuum and clean the bathroom and kitchen. I work with all guys - so I don't even bother ironing. I can wear jeans and sweatshirts if I like.

Well I think I have written plenty for this email. Remind me and I will tell you about my job in the next email.

I hope you have a good day (if you are reading this in the evening) or will have a good day if this is morning.

Take it easy Cory,

JJ

She looked at the clock, it was getting late she could return a mail but it didn’t look like JJ was expecting one as the last sentence implied that JJ thought Cory would be in bed. She decided that that was a good place to be. She shut down the computer, collected her things and climbed the stairs to bed. The weekends never seemed long enough and she always got a little down this time on a Sunday, as she knew she had another grueling week at work.

Part 5

Mail Jules

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