# Chapter 26

The afternoon had been just as hard as the morning for Cory. They’d retraced their movements back to the crematorium to say one last goodbye. Her grandfather’s ashes had been brought out in a large urn. Sam and Pete had arrived back just in time to pick up Kerry and Cory, who had been left waiting impatiently for the pair. They’d all walked down to the same oak tree Cory had stood under earlier. Cory’s mother had mixed the two sets of ashes together and said a blessing. The weather had brightened up, making the sad event a little better. Each of her mother’s siblings had been passed the urns to scatter the ashes, whilst the grandchildren and friends of Fred looked on. The ashes had been scattered in the same pattern as her Nan’s two years before. At last two souls were finally reunited. Cory had felt a kind of peace settle over her. It was the end of an era.

Sam and Cory had driven home in a comfortable silence. Now Cory was sat in the lounge trying to decide whether or not to talk to Sam. It didn’t really seem the appropriate time but Cory couldn’t work out when it would ever be the right time. Sam had gone upstairs to the office to check on business. She stroked Chip’s long fur. “It’s not really the right time is it?” The cat just purred in response. Cory would have given anything to be that cat at that moment in time. She decided she needed to do something practical. She hadn’t checked her email yet. The only problem was her laptop was in the office and that meant talking to Sam. She sat for a few more minutes and then decided that if Sam could check on business, she could check her email. She walked upstairs.

She looked through the office door. Sam was sat staring intently at the computer. “Did the deal go through?” She asked as she bent down for her laptop.

“Yep and to celebrate I’ve booked us into a hotel up in the Lake District. I thought it would do you good to get away. You can clear your head and maybe we could do some sightseeing.” Sam showed Cory the website of the hotel he’d just booked. He felt very proud of himself. “What’s wrong? Anybody would think I just told you some really bad news. You do have tomorrow off?”

Cory felt panic coarse through her veins. She had no idea what to say. Was this the moment to tell him or should she wait. She nodded her head, “Yes, I’m off. I guess I’m just shocked. I didn’t realise you were taking tomorrow off as well.”

“Well with the deal going through, and working my arse off the beginning of the week, I’m all yours. We could walk the hills and maybe do a climb or two if you want. I asked Mike if we could borrow his climbing equipment. He was so excited that there might be an opportunity to climb that he asked if he could come up with us. He has tomorrow free too and so does Clare.”

Cory let out a sigh of relief. At least they weren’t going to be completely on their own. Maybe this would be the ideal opportunity to talk to Sam. She still hadn’t worked out what she was going to tell him. She wasn’t sure whether to bring JJ into the story or just talk about their lack of feelings and how she needed a break. She did want Sam to realise that they would have broken up anyway. If he thought this was just because of JJ, he’d never look at his own problems in relationships. Plus she was convinced she’d have left him at some point with or without JJ. She was sure of it. They’d drifted apart. This situation was exactly what she was thinking about. She should have been over the moon that he’d booked a hotel but she wasn’t. It was a little bit too late as far as she was concerned.

“So what do you think?” Cory realised that Sam had expected a response.

“Err sounds great. When do we leave?”

“I originally planned to go up tonight but that would be a long trip after such a harrowing day. I figured we’d get up early and beat the Friday traffic. We can meet Clare and Mike on the M6 and have breakfast.” Sam cleared the paperwork off his desk.

“What about Holly? Who’s going to look after her?” Cory knew it was too late to back out.

“That was the best thing. The hotel accepts dogs so Mike can bring Toby and we can take Holly. I’ve asked Doug to feed the cats and he’s okay with that. We’re all set honey. All you need to do is pack and get some well-deserved sleep.”

Cory mumbled that it sounded great and retreated back downstairs with her laptop. She just wanted some sort of contact with JJ. She had hoped to spend some time in a chat with JJ this weekend. While the computer booted up she went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. She felt exhausted.

Her inbox was relatively empty but she was cheered up when she saw a few emails from JJ. The first was a card. Cory smiled when she saw the dancing Garfield before her. He was carrying a card that told her JJ was thinking of her. Her girlfriend was definitely a goofball. She desperately wanted to hug the brunette. She needed her woman, here and now. How strange a week could be. Her mind cast back to the previous Thursday night. She couldn’t believe that it had only been a week since she’d consummated her love for JJ. Time had just gone by so quickly.

She opened the second email.

JJ Matthews How are you doing?

Hey Cory,

I wish I could have been with you today. I know you must feel awful at this moment in time but it does get better. I want you right now to put your left hand on your right shoulder. (DO IT!!!) Now put your right hand on your left shoulder. Okay now give yourself a big squeeze. That’s what I want to do to you right now. To take the hurt away and kiss it all better. But a cyber hug is all I can offer.

I began a countdown today……….i make it officially 21 days until you fly out!! 3 weeks…. i can do that. It’s driving me crazy not being with you. Mainly because I want to be the one that is there for you, comforting you, and helping the hurt go away. I feel useless.

I met with Helen earlier and we had lunch. I did a bit of checking on the immigration laws and both countries have their pros and cons. The good news is that Britain offers same sex sponsoring. The bad news is we have to live together for two years before hand. I’d need to find someone who would be willing to employ and sponsor me. To be honest Cory I’m not sure my computer skills are in the higher skills domain they’re after. I could just come over for 6 months at a time if we could afford that.

I looked at the US website and I think the US is even stricter about their immigration policy. We only offer a 3-month visitation period. You could teach over here – I’m not sure how we’d go about getting you into a public school but we could look at private schools. You have to be certified as a teacher in Massachusetts’s public schools. Helen did come up with a good idea though… how do you feel about going back to college? You mentioned last week how stressed and disillusioned you are with your job. Well how about going back and doing your Masters in an area you’re interested in and taking a break? Helen’s looking into a program where you might be able to work at the college and they’ll pay for your tuition and you will even get paid.

Cory reread this section twice. JJ had certainly been doing her homework. She’d been way too preoccupied to do any searching. She reviewed the options. College. How did she feel about that? She had quite enjoyed her undergrad years but could she really face going back into a classroom to be a student. Well it was something to think about over the weekend for sure. She read on.

I’m going to check out the job opportunities in Britain this weekend. Sarah has the real estate people coming over tonight to assess the house. She wants to move pretty quickly on this. So I could be homeless soon!!! I thought I would go and live with my father if the house sold. That way I can start saving money.

Well I should look like I’m working. I’ve basically clock watched the whole day.

I love you with all my heart…I wish I could have been there for you today.

Hugging you close to me

J xxx

Cory read the section about the immigration and decided to do a little bit of web surfing herself. There were so many websites that offered advice. She stopped after an hour. The more she surfed the more depressed she got. It just seemed so unfair. Heterosexual couples seemed to have so many more choices than same sex. She felt proud of her country that it at least offered the same sex sponsoring but even that seemed a long process. How the hell could she live two years with JJ if they couldn’t get into the same country for more than 6 months? She was currently on a gay and lesbian website that had offered advice to couples whose partners lived in different countries. She’d read some stories that had made her want to cry. Some of the stories were about people living illegally in a foreign country because they couldn’t bear being apart. It had made her more determined to find a solution for her and JJ. One that was definitely legal and that would help both of them.

She lifted her head as Sam entered the room. “I ordered an Indian. I didn’t feel like cooking and you look worn out. What are you doing?”

Cory felt a surge of guilt coarse surge through her. “Just surfing websites. We’re doing the European Union in school next week and I thought I’d just get the latest details as they’re always adding new countries.” Yet another lie had slipped out. It was making her feel sick the lying and deceit. She clicked onto google.com and entered ‘European Union’ in the search section. The least she could do was to look up some information that way it wasn’t a complete lie.

“There’s seventeen, isn’t there?”

Cory looked at Sam quizzically. “Pardon?”

“Countries. There are seventeen in the Union I thought.”

“That’s what I’m checking on. You could be right. It sounds the same amount as last year. I’m just checking to see whether Turkey joined. I’m sure someone told me they had applied. Thanks for ordering dinner. I’ll probably eat that and then go and pack. We’re climbing and walking so that should be easy enough to do. Plenty of warm layers.”

The rest of the evening had gone by peacefully. She’d managed to write an email to JJ about the day. On the topic of college she’d expressed her interest. She had also offered to look into this option when they knew more. The meal had been good and her appetite had definitely returned. She’d managed to find all her walking and climbing clothes and had packed some jeans and tops for the evenings. The Lake District was very rural so the evenings were probably going to be spent in some local pub. Even though it had just turned 8.30pm her weary body had begun to protest. She’d said a quick goodnight to Sam and turned in for the night.

Her body melted into the mattress. It felt so good to just lie down but her mind wouldn’t co-operate with her body and it was restless. She leaned over and opened the bedside drawer. She took out a small bottle it contained lavender and vanilla cream. She’d received it at Christmas off one of the parent’s in her class. It was supposed to help promote sleep. Cory placed a small amount on her temples and pulse points. It didn’t take long before she was sound asleep.

Her body felt weary. Her feet ached and she was shivering. No matter how she moved she couldn’t get warm. She pulled the furs further up her body and settled into the soft fern bedding. The fire was still burning but there didn’t seem to be any heat near her. Why did she feel so cold? Why did it feel so wrong? She looked around. Something was missing. Something or someone? Then she remembered. She was gone. She was dead. Her eyes turned to the sarcophagus. Her best friend was gone… She’d left her alone. How could she? She let out a strangled sob. She’s dead. She’s dead…

She woke up feeling cold and clammy. Fragments of the dream were still floating around in her head. It had felt so real. She remembered the feeling of being so alone. Isolated. She looked at the bedside clock. 11.30. At least she’d slept for a few hours. She settled back onto the pillow, closed her eyes and tried to summon up a better image. Her lips curled up into a smile as she thought of a certain brunette naked and under her. Cory’s thumb slipped into her mouth and she rolled onto her side. Sleep came quickly.

The journey north had been uneventful. They’d left the house at a reasonably decent hour. Cory had felt very refreshed after her early night. She hadn’t even minded the early morning wake up nudge she’d received, off Sam, at 6am. All she’d had to do was shower and dress. Her bags had been packed the previous evening and she’d already informed JJ that she was going away. So she hadn’t needed to check her email. She’d thought about packing her laptop but this was a weekend for talking and the last thing she wanted was to wind Sam up before they’d even started on the trip. They’d met Mike and Clare at the services and eaten breakfast. The hotel had been a nice surprise. A huge country house set in the woods. The rooms were elegant and spacious. Cory couldn’t believe they allowed animals. Holly on the other hand had made the four-poster bed hers.

They’d all agreed to unpack, change and meet in the foyer ready for their first climb of the weekend. Cory had felt fine on the journey up but now she had slight cramps in her stomach. She counted days on her hands and realised that she was due her period any day. She usually got away with minimal aches and pains. Her breasts occasionally were tender and her stomach cramped just before. She muttered expletives to herself. She was about to go into the middle of nowhere with no toilet for miles, and mother nature had decided that today was the day she’d grace Cory with her presence. The blonde walked into the bathroom and prepared herself for the worst-case scenario.

The atmosphere between Sam and her had been light all day. The presence of Mike and Clare had helped immensely. They had settled on a small climb. Sam and Mike were both competent and good climbers. Cory had done a little but her fear of heights had always held her back. They’d found a nice outcrop of rocks and it had been pretty deserted. Cory wasn’t surprised. The weather in March could be unpredictable and many climbers preferred the comfort of indoor walls. Luckily the weather was mild and she felt quite comfortable in the clothes she was wearing. She changed her walking boots for her climbing shoes. They were a tight fit and her feet protested mildly against being squeezed into such a cramped space. She put on her harness on and did the buckles up. She didn’t pull them completely tight as she figured it would be a while before she saw any action. She watched Sam and Mike discussing the route.

They had decided to top rope the climb and belay from the bottom. Cory wasn’t overly pleased about this. She preferred her belay person to be at the top of the climb. She personally felt safer knowing that the person at the top was holding the rope. There was always a tiny fear in her mind that the rope would come loose from the object it was secured to and she would fall. She looked at the climb although it didn’t look all that high she knew it was. She watched Mike as he carefully free climbed and clipped in the rope as he went. When he got to the top he waved.

“Make sure you secure the rope!” Cory shouted up.

Mike gave her the thumbs up. She knew she was being silly. Her brother was an experienced climber and had taken many groups out. She knew she was in safe hands but it didn’t stop her from worrying. Mike hammered the clips in and tied the rope and safety rope around a boulder and onto the clips. He then got ready to abseil down the trail he’d just climbed.

“He’s like a big kid when he’s allowed to be.” Clare settled next to her sister in law.

Cory smiled. “They both are. They’re men!” The girls giggled. “How are things going?”

Clare leaned back against the mossy rocks. “Good. Things are good. We’re finally making some headway with the house and Mike is happy with the progress. Thanks to Sam we replaced the windows and the insurance company paid the difference which helped.” Cory nodded. Her brother had bought a run down semi-detached house that had basically needed rebuilding. He’d done so much of it himself but when they had gone around the last time. Sam had noticed the bay windows were caving in. On further investigation they’d found them to be completely rotting away. The rainwater had seeped through the old felt and Sam had suggested that unless they replaced the felt and windows the whole front of the house would cave in. Mike had complained to the surveyors who had missed this completely on their initial survey and they’d been compensated.

“The house is definitely warmer with the new windows. Sam really saved our arses. We should be ready to add the extension on in the summer. The money that Fred left will help us to do that too. Bless him.”

Cory stopped staring at the men climbing and turned to Clare. “What money?”

“The inheritance. Fred left all his grandchildren £3000 each. The house was for his children and apparently your mum said he and your Nan had saved a little so he could leave some money for each of his grandchildren. Did you know there are seventeen grandchildren?” Clare realised she’d opened her big mouth when she saw the look on Cory’s face. “Oops I think I just let the cat out of the bag. You didn’t know?”

The blonde shook her head. “No, I don’t understand why mum didn’t tell me.”

“Well I heard from Mike. Apparently he’d walked in on your mum, uncle and Fred discussing the issue. Your uncle apparently had only wanted Fred to give the money to the grandchildren that were his, and who actually had spent any time with the old man. Your grandfather had been quite adamant that the money had been a joint decision between your Nan and him, and thus everyone was entitled to an equal share. What do you think? What would you have done?”

“Personally I just want my grandfather back. No amount of money will make up for the gap he has left. But he made the right decision. He kept his promise to Nan.” Cory stretched out. The sun had peeped out from behind a cloud and had warmed the entire hillside. Spring was definitely on its way.

She must have dozed off as she vaguely heard a voice. “Oi, Sleeping Beauties. Do you want to climb?” She opened one eyelid and glanced in the direction of the voice. Mike was waving the end of the rope at them. She turned her head to see Clare wiping her eyes.

“Wow it’s true what they say about country air. I was zonked out completely. I guess it’s time to stretch the muscles.” They sauntered to the bottom of the crag. The boys had certainly been busy. Both Mike and Sam were wearing tops and shorts that had sweat patches all over them.

“Who’s first?” Sam asked as he slipped the rope into the belay bug.

“I’ll go.” Cory grabbed the other end of the rope and pulled it through the loop on her belt. She tied a figure of eight knot and secured it with a safety knot slightly higher up the rope.

“Taking in.” Sam called to her as he took in the slack. She felt the tug of the rope on her.

“That’s me. Cory climbing.” She called as she put her hands and feet on the bottom of the crag. Sam had drummed into her the importance of using the correct jargon when climbing and the safety involved. She knew it was important to call out that she had felt the rope, as that indicated to Sam that he had all the slack and the rope wasn’t stuck on some rock. She also knew it was important to tell him she was climbing so he could focus on her.

She felt her way up the wall. There were some nice holds and she started off with ease. As she reached the midway point her heart was pounding, her arms were aching and her legs were shaking. The buzz of climbing! She stopped on a small ledge to catch her breath. She looked up and saw the rope taut overhead. She then made her big mistake and looked down. Her head began to swim and her legs went weak. She hated heights. She looked back up and saw the rope. In her mind she saw someone coming by with a knife and cutting the rope, sending her hurtling to her death. She clung to the wall. “Okay, okay. Just move your legs Cory. Come on we can do this. Look for a handhold. You’re being stupid. Just climb.”

No matter how much she spoke to herself her body wouldn’t move. No matter how much she willed her hands and feet to move, they wouldn't. She was frozen.

“Sam I’m coming back.” She croaked.

“Keep going. Cory climb. You can do this. I have you tight. You’re not coming down. This time you will get to the top.” Sam held the rope tight. His wife needed to conquer her fear.

Tears began to run down Cory’s cheeks. “Sam let me down. I can’t go on. Please.”

“No come on you can do it.” Sam held the rope tight.

Mike looked up at his sister. “Maybe you should let her down Sam. She looks shaky.”

“She’s fine. She does this every time and at some point she has to overcome what she’s scared of. I know her, she needs a little push now and then.” Sam stood still. He didn’t like his judgement being called into question.

Mike was about to mention that he knew his sister much better than Sam did. But when he really thought about it maybe he didn’t. Cory had changed so much. He remembered a different Cory coming back from college. It was possible that she’d changed since being with Sam. Maybe he did know best. He looked from Sam to his sister. It was at that point he caught the expression on his sister’s face.

Cory looked down. Tears were streaming from her eyes. She felt sick and to make matters worse her stomach had decided this would be a good time to cramp. She clung to the wall. She looked up, trying to find another handhold. Her arms felt so weak she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. “Sam let me down! NOW!” She screamed between sobs.

Clare came up behind Mike. “What’s going on?” she whispered. “She needs to come down. What the fuck does he think he’s doing?”

Mike knew this too. If Sam wouldn’t listen to him he’d take the rope off him physically. “Hey mate. Bring her down.” Mike put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two but I’d say she’s mad, and scared as hell. She’s not going to overcome her fear this way.”

Sam shook his head. He thought if he’d held out, Cory’s resolve would have made her climb. He looked up and saw his wife’s body shaking. “Okay hold onto the knot with two hands I’m letting the rope out.”

Cory blew out a slow, ragged breath and followed his instruction. She slowly walked down the crag. When her feet reached the ground she let out a huge breath. The she turned on Sam. “You bastard! What the hell were you thinking?” She looked at Sam, he was laughing at her. “You have a lot to learn. You are such a jerk at times.”

Sam realised she was being serious when she pushed past him.

“Oh boy is she mad at you.” Mike said. He held onto Sam. “If I know my sister she needs some cooling off time.” He looked towards Clare and indicated that she should follow Cory.

“Oh great he makes her mad and I have to cop the fall out. You owe me big time Sam.” She muttered a few other things, grabbed Cory’s rucksack and trudged up the hill towards a very pissed off and upset sister in law.

Cory was fuming. The arrogant son of a bitch. She couldn’t believe the smug look she’d seen on Sam’s face. Plus she was mad with herself. She hated having her weaknesses exploited. She kicked a few stones in her path and settled on a rock. She looked back and saw the three of them huddled together and then she saw Clare waving her finger at Sam. It looked to her like Clare had drawn the short straw. “He can’t even come and do his own dirty work.” She muttered aloud.

“Hey is it safe to come near you? That’s some language you spouted off back there!” Clare sat on the rock next to Cory. “How you feeling?”

“Like an idiot. I don’t know what comes over me. I like climbing but I just can’t get past the fear.” Cory took the tissue her sister in law passed her and blew her nose. “I’m sorry Clare, I shouldn’t have ruined your day.”

“Hey you did me a favour. Now I don’t have to climb the stupid rock!” She grinned at Cory. “Unlike you I hate climbing. I only came because Mike was so excited. I rarely go up I was only going to climb today because you were doing it and I didn’t want to look like a wimp. You just saved me from making my own scene.”

“Seriously?” Cory had no idea; she’d always thought Clare was really into climbing. “But I thought you and Mike met on a climb?”

“We did. What can I say I like men with muscles! There’s nothing better than lying out in the sun and watching men flex their muscles in front of you! My ex was a climber. We were climbing with the same club Mike belongs to and I met Mike. We just clicked. He knows I’m not really into the sport but I can belay him and he gets to climb. It works out well.” Clare handed Cory another tissue. “You have rock dust and chalk mixed in with tears all over your cheeks. It looks very fetching on you!”

Cory laughed. “Thanks Clare. I think my emotions are all to pot. I’ve cried more times this week than in my whole life. Plus to top it off I think I’m due my period.” Cory wiped her face and stretched her muscles. Her body was beginning to recover and her muscles were loosening up.

“How about we leave the lads climbing and take the dogs on a walk over the hill. They could do with really stretching their legs. Well Holly’s could. I can always carry Toby if he gets tired.” Cory looked over to where the German Shepherd and Yorkshire Terrier were lying.

“They certainly make an odd couple. Sure I’ll go for a walk. I could do with a few hours away from Sam.” Cory took her rucksack from Clare. Her feet felt better once she removed the restrictive shoes. She wiggled her toes a few times and then slipped her feet back into her walking boots. She whistled to Holly. “Come on girl we’re going walkies.” With the last word the huge dog shot up and ran towards Cory, closely followed by the smaller dog.

The couple walked along a worn out pathway that wound it’s way up one of the smaller hills. Behind them they could make out the faint outlines of their partners. Cory enjoyed walking in the countryside. The hillside was beginning to show signs of spring. There were a few daffodils dotted along the trail. The fern was beginning to change colour and various smells were assaulting her senses.

“I love this time of year. It’s so pretty up here.” Cory found a stick and threw it ahead of them for Holly to chase.

“Yeah it makes a change to be able to walk without twenty different layers of clothing.” They continued to walk. Cory wasn’t quite sure what conversation to start. She’d known Clare a few years but she was so different to Cory they hadn’t really talked in any great length. She’d always seemed a little superficial for Cory’s liking.

“So you said the house is coming along.” Cory figured she’d stay on common ground and continue the earlier conversation.

“Yeah but I wish he’d get the back room done. It’s just such a small house that one more room would be wonderful. I know we have to wait for the extension to get done but I’m losing my patience. I want to be able to invite friends round for a meal and not have to eat in shifts. I wish we could have bought a house like you and Sam have.”

Cory patted the dogs as they wound themselves around her legs. “The house is nice. Sometimes it seems like we have too much room though. We don’t get half as many visitors as I’d like. Sam prefers just our company.”

“So are you and Sam okay?” Clare had wanted to ask this question since the incident by the crag but hadn’t had the nerve to ask.

The delay in answering wasn’t because Cory was surprised with the question. She’d expected it. Her hesitation was because she had no idea how to answer it. It wasn’t fair on Sam to tell others before she told him. Ange and Dave were the only people outside of JJ that knew about her. She didn’t want to lie to Clare. Particularly as the shit was likely to hit the fan very soon and she didn’t want Clare to think she hadn’t trusted her. “We have some issues we need to address.”

“We have some issues we need to address. What textbook did you quote this from? I’m family Cory. I’ve known you and Sam for a long time and you guys don’t seem to be as happy as you were.”

Cory watched the dogs playing chase over the field. As she looked beyond the dogs she spotted some sheep a little further up. Cory decided to try and change subject. “Holly come here girl. Come to mummy.” She was rewarded with a bark, and then a panting dog at her side. “Good girl. Clare I think we need to put them on their leads.” She pointed towards the hill. “There are sheep roaming over there. Better to be safe than sorry. I’d hate for them to get over excited and scare the sheep.” She clipped Holly’s lead on as she spoke.

“Good thinking. I hadn’t thought about it. I’ll have to carry him I left the lead with our backpack.” It took her a few minutes to catch Toby. He’d caught sight of the sheep and had taken it upon himself to investigate. Clare had given chase, and with the help of a dog chew Cory had found in her rucksack they’d stopped the little Terrier causing trouble.

When she’d finally got her breath back, Clare resumed the conversation. “So what issues do you and Sam have?” Clare decided she’d give it one more try and if Cory didn’t open up to her then she wouldn’t push the topic.

“I guess the honeymoon period is over and we’re beginning to see more of the differences than the similarities. Quirks that were cute at the beginning are now annoying habits. Does that make sense?” Clare nodded. Cory carried on. “I’m sure it works both ways. I miss my independence and he wants to control me. Plus we have intimacy problems which hasn’t helped.” Cory stopped there she didn’t think she should say too much for fear she begin pouring out her troubles and couldn’t stop.

“Have you talked to him?” Clare wasn’t quite sure what to say. She was intrigued, especially with the intimacy part, but didn’t want to pry. She knew from conversations with her mother in law that Cory was hard to talk to about her private life.

“Until I’m blue in the face. It’s water off a duck’s back as far as he’s concerned. He’s a true Welshman. His feelings are so well hidden. I’m just sick of it. I want to do more things with my life and I feel like I’m being suffocated.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Cory stopped walking and turned towards Clare. “Well I have a few options. I could just let things carry on as they are and put up with it. I could talk to him and be ignored and things repeat themselves like they have been doing. Or I could leave. Each choice has consequences for both of us. To be honest I’m going to talk to him this weekend. I know if we split up it’s going to hurt my parents dearly.” She continued to walk. Her left hand wrapped tightly round Holly’s lead. She played with a coin in her right pocket.

“Ouch, things are that bad?”

Cory nodded, “I think so. Sam thinks differently.”

“Well my advice would be to leave while you’ve still got a chance to save the friendship. If you stay you’re only going to let things fester and then one day you’ll turn round and realise you hate each other.”

Cory knew what Clare was saying made sense. She was just scared because she knew her parent’s reaction was going to be unbearable. “I know I just can’t stand the thought of having to tell everyone I failed. Or they’ll think that I’m just being fickle.”

“Cory you can’t live for your mum and dad. Life’s too short. Yesterday made that fact very clear to me. I took a walk around the graveyard after the funeral. My grandparents are buried there. Do you know what I noticed?”

Cory shook her head. “That the graveyard is overcrowded?”

“No. There are way too many gravestones with young people beneath them. You should do what is going to make your life happy because you never know when it’s your turn to leave. If I know you like I think I do, you have a plan of action inside that pretty head of yours. That’s one thing I admire about you Cory, you always seem to be so level headed and organized.”

“I wish I had that much confidence in myself as you do. I have many things going on inside here but whether they’ll ever come to fruition I have no idea. I’m going to talk to Sam at some point and then we’ll see. Thanks for asking though. Do you think we should head back? We’ve walked quite a distance.” She didn’t want to pursue the conversation. The talk had helped her to realise she needed to tell Sam soon. It wasn’t fair on either of them. Cory hadn’t wanted to reveal too much to Clare either. Mainly because she really hadn’t got a clue what was happening with her life. But also, she didn’t want to be the talk of the family. She did trust Clare, but just in case she was wrong her life was not going to be the latest piece of gossip.

The walk back down was pleasant. They kept the conversation light. Clare discussed her job and the down side of being the coordinator on a housing association program and then life in general. When they finally reached the two men, they were packing the equipment back into the car.

“We were just about to send out a search party for you two?” Mike joked as he took Toby off Clare.

Cory put Holly into the back of the car and walked round to the passenger seat. She was prevented from opening the door by Sam’s arm on hers. “You feeling better?”

“I was never ill?” She shot back sarcastically. “I think the words you’re looking for are ‘I’m sorry’.”

“I was just trying to help you get over your fear. How are you ever going to conquer it if you never try?” Cory shook his arm off his body, and opened the door.

She bent to get into the car. Then stopped, she turned towards Sam. “When I decide to overcome my fears you’ll know. Most people wouldn’t put the person they love through that much humiliation or fright. I guess I just worked out how you actually feel about me.” She shot him an icy stare. Sam stared back for a fraction of a second and then walked to his side of the car.

Mike and Clare sat helplessly in the back, trying to make themselves disappear. The atmosphere in the car was strained. Neither of them knew what to say. As they pulled away from the small car park area, Mike sighed and put his arm around his wife. There was trouble ahead and he hoped Cory knew what she was doing. He looked at his wife and shrugged.

The atmosphere had continued to be frosty when the pair arrived back to the hotel room. Cory had locked herself in the bathroom and had spent a good hour relaxing in a bubble bath, reading a novel she’d printed off an Internet site. The story had helped her forget about Sam’s behaviour but had made her miss JJ even more. Especially when she had read the love scenes.

They’d decided to eat in a local pub and luckily there had been plenty of entertainment. After a fulfilling meal, Sam and Mike had played pool. Clare and Cory had listened to the local band and played a few of the quiz games. Nothing had been said of the tension earlier and the evening had been pleasant enough.

When they’d arrived back at the hotel, the tension between the couple had returned. Sam had taken the dog for a walk. Cory had taken that opportunity to get ready for bed, she was going to pretend to be asleep when Sam returned.. She closed her eyes when she heard the door open and began the charade. She could hear Sam wander round the bedroom. Holly climbed on the bed and settled down by Cory’s feet. It felt uncomfortable but Cory didn’t want to move for fear that Sam would realise she wasn’t asleep. The bathroom door closed and Cory heard the sound of water. She opened her eyes and adjusted Holly’s position on the bed. Holly took her chance and snuggled up to Cory.

Sam returned from the bathroom to find Holly and Cory cuddled up together. Typical the dog seemed to get more attention than he did. He wished he could talk to Cory but she seemed to be slipping from his grasp. The day had been a perfect example. They used to enjoy spending the day together and now all they could do was bicker. He’d hoped this weekend away could be a start of the good times again. Cory had barely touched her laptop all week and she’d ceased to mention JJ’s name. He felt that something must have happened in London to make Cory lose her interest in the American. Before the visit, Cory had mentioned JJ in everything she did and said. Since JJ’s departure Cory hadn’t really talked about her. Sam was pleased the tall woman’s hold over Cory was broken. He climbed into bed and nudged Holly down towards the end of the bed. He rolled over and got comfortable. His mind was on the rest of the weekend. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day for them both. A new beginning.

Part 27

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