As the story is based on the academic year of 2001/2002, I added in some reactions to 9/11, and the events that happened...just a little warning, I hope this doesn't offend anyone.

Learning to Trust

By Jules Matthews

Part 5

Chapter 10

Taryn reclined on the sofa. Her head was pounding. The week had been a hard one and Taryn had repetitiously replayed events. She had become frustrated the day after her move to Cory and JJ's. To try and forget her troubles, Taryn had lost herself in her schoolwork and the gym. She didn't work on Thursday and had spent the day catching up on reading and class assignments, but her concentration hadn't been good. She kept replaying the last few months with Marti, over and over. She had finally given up and headed toward the gym. Cory had thoughtfully left her the directions on the table with a small note of encouragement. It helped Taryn to know that her roommates knew what she was going through. They'd both recently ended long-term relationships to be with each other. The only difference was that Taryn didn't have anybody to run to. She did not have anyone waiting on the sidelines. Taryn had liked the small gym at the complex. It had enough aerobic equipment and weights to give her a decent workout. But she had pushed herself way too hard for a first visit. Her muscles had cried out the following morning when she had struggled to get up for work. Cory had laughed at her all the way to work as Taryn had chosen to hobble along with her friend rather than drive.

Her mind returned to the present as Cory came back into the living room. She smiled meekly at the British woman and closed her eyes.

"Are you still aching?" Cory asked sympathetically.

Taryn opened her eyes and peered into concerned green ones. "A little. My head hurts. Too much stress for one week."

Cory remained crouched on the floor in front of Taryn. She gently rubbed her friend's leg. "Seeing Marti today couldn't have helped. Would you like a drink? I make a mean cup of tea." This comment seemed to bring a brief smile to Taryn's face. "So, how was Marti?"

Taryn rubbed her temples. Just the mention of Marti's name seemed to torment her psyche. "Confused. Upset. Angry. Pick any negative adjective and that pretty much sums up her feelings. She's placed all the blame on me."

Cory saw the vein in Taryn's temple pulse. Her heart went out to Taryn. She wished she could do more to help Taryn realize that she didn't have to shoulder the blame. "I understand what you're going through, Taryn. Do you feel guilty?" She watched Taryn nod in agreement. "I felt like that with what happened between Sam and I, and JJ felt the same about Sarah. Guilt is a nasty emotion. I felt like I'd ripped Sam's heart out and handed it back to him, and he let me carry this guilt around for a long time. In fact, I still have some up here." She pointed to her head. "I felt responsible for our break up. Sam refused to look at his part in our break up. As far as he was concerned my meeting JJ had changed everything. My cheating on him was his only focus. He couldn't see how unhappy I had become. But, Taryn, you really don't have anything to feel guilty about. You never cheated on Marti, you were always there for her, and you tried really hard to make it work."

Taryn clasped Cory's hand. "I know. She just has a way of twisting things. She says I didn't love her enough to change. She blames me because I never told her things. She said it was my fault because I never let her in. In that respect she's right."

Cory shook her head vehemently, "Taryn, don't think like that. It takes two to make a relationship work or fail. At least you're aware of your part in it. Just don't take it all on your shoulders. Marti's acting like a wounded person, and looking for sympathy. As a wise person once said to me, if you're looking for that, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis!"

Taryn burst out laughing. She loved the way Cory looked at the world. "Thanks for that image! Somehow I'll keep that little bit of advice to myself. Did I hear you offer me a cup of tea?"

"Yes. Hey, if you're not well you don't have to come with us tonight." Cory offered as she headed to the small kitchen area.

Taryn moved her head from side to side. It felt good to get the knots out of her neck. "No. I'm fine. I'll go and put some jeans on."

"Wrap up warm. It's bloody freezing at the ice rink. I think it's the coldest rink in the world."

Taryn took Cory's words of warning to heart. She pulled a long sleeved shirt on, followed by a sweatshirt, and then gathered her fleece and snowboarding jacket. She carried the latter two items back into the living room. "Where's JJ?"

Cory came out of the kitchen with two mugs of steaming tea and a few cookies she had baked the day before. "She had to go to the hockey store and get tape for her leggings, or something like that."

Taryn giggled. "I see you're turning into an excellent hockey widow, always paying attention to the small stuff!"

Cory handed a mug to Taryn and settled onto the couch next to her. "I try, but some of the things she goes into the store to buy just confuse me. Now, let me introduce you to BBC America. I think there may be a few episodes of Ground Force on. I think you'll appreciate some of Charlie Dimmock's finer features."

**

Taryn and Cory had gotten so engrossed in the British gardening show that they both jumped when the door buzzer sounded. The women looked back and forth between each other. Finally, Cory jumped up and pressed the door button. "It can't be J, she has the key with her. Was Jane coming over?"

Taryn shook her head. "No. She has a date with Bill. Enough of this second guessing, open the door, doofus, and we'll find out who it is."

"Okay, Miss Impatience." replied Cory playfully, opening the front door and smiling as she met the azure eyes she knew so well.

"Hey, Cor, look who I found on the doorstep." JJ moved aside and let Jace into the apartment.

Taryn jumped off the sofa when she saw Jace walk through the front door, and frantically yelled at Jace. "Jace! Is everything okay? Is Jane all right?"

JJ waved her arms in the air, and then made the sign of a T with her hands. "Whoa. Slow down there. I invited Jace over."

Taryn blushed, realizing how foolish she must have looked and sounded. "I'm sorry."

Jace looked solemnly at Taryn. She was disappointed with Taryn's reaction to her visit. "No. I should apologize, that's the second time I've scared you into thinking there's something wrong. I should have mentioned I was coming tonight." She shuffled her feet, suddenly feeling very awkward. What if she doesn't want me here? Shit! I should have thought about that! I should have told her. Wake up, moron. The reason you didn't tell her was because you didn't want to give her a chance to back out! Suck it up and make nice!

JJ moved between the two women. "Stop with the apologies. If it's anyone's fault for not saying anything, it's mine. With everything that's been going on I forgot." She moved out of the way and went toward her bedroom. "Cory, don't forget you need to grab your blanket and bag."

Cory excused herself, and followed JJ into the bedroom, shutting the door. "You sneak! I asked you the other day who was coming and you never mentioned Jace."

JJ's shoulders slouched. "I didn't want you to think I was meddling."

Cory was a little confused, "Meddle in what?"

"I just know how much I relied on my friends when Sarah and I split, and you were in England. But it hurt when they would take me out and I couldn't be with you. I felt like a spare part. I don't want Taryn to feel like an outsider tonight. I figured Jace would be a good companion. I didn't think you'd mind. But I should have thought about how you'd feel having your boss with you outside of work."

Cory put her arms around her girlfriend, and lifted JJ's chin slightly so she could meet her eyes. "Your thoughtfulness is what I love the most about you. Come here you big lug and give me a kiss."

**

Taryn watched Cory follow JJ to the bedroom. She could see Jace shuffling her feet and looking around the room. "I'm sorry, Jace. I make a lousy host. Would you like to sit down?" For some reason she felt awkward around the taller woman.

Jace moved away from the door, but left her eyes trained on Taryn. She could sense the younger woman's discomfort. "Taryn, I can go if it's a problem. I didn't think about it when JJ made the offer. I'll understand, really. Who needs their boss hanging around when they're having fun?" Jace turned her attention to the TV. She didn't want to see the expressions running across Taryn's face.

Taryn could sense she'd hurt Jace. The longer she remained silent the more awkward the atmosphere. Inside she was debating about whether to go or stay home. She looked over at the brooding woman and made a decision. "Jace, I'd love to spend the evening in your company." Her response was a mild smile and nod of the head from her supervisor.

The journey down to Falmouth was quiet. JJ had offered to drive, as her equipment wouldn't fit in the back of Jace's Jeep. Cory sat next to her girlfriend and chatted about her latest phone call home. She felt like she had to keep the conversation going, as there seemed to be little input from the two in the back. Taryn listened in every now and again, but her mind was on how to get Jace out of her sullen mood. She knew it was all due to her reaction to Jace's visit. When there was no sign that Jace was going to talk to her, she gently tapped her leg, and finally got Jace to look at her.

"I owe you an apology." Taryn whispered.

Jace shook her head, "We've been through this. It's fine."

Taryn decided to get bold and nudged Jace in the side. "Stop being so noble. I was a jerk. I really do want you here. I'm actually relieved you're here. I was dreading being on my own tonight." She smiled meekly at Jace. "Truce." She whispered.

Jace couldn't resist grinning at Taryn. She looked adorable all wrapped up in her winter clothes. She couldn't stay mad for long. "Truce." She held out her hand. Taryn took Jace's hand and shook it lightly. She was reluctant to let go of the warmth she found there. Jace looked at Cory and JJ and saw they were too involved in their own conversation to hear what she was about to say. "Now we've got that sorted out, let's try and establish some ground rules for future engagements." She saw a glint of curiosity in Taryn's eyes. "Nothing too serious. I just want you to consider me your friend as well as supervisor. So when we're out of work, let's try and be equals. I don't want you always thinking I've come around or phoned because I have bad news about Jane or the kids." She paused, unsure about how much to reveal. "I…like you, Taryn. I'm beginning to realize how important friends are. I also like your friends, and I had fun the night of your birthday."

Taryn could see how hard it was for someone like Jace to admit she needed friendship. "Sounds like a plan, and as I'm forgetting right now that you're my boss, you get to buy the first drinks at the bar!"

Jace laughed aloud, "You are so like your aunt, it's scary!"

**

Taryn tucked her hands further under her armpits. The air was frigid. The crowd was sparse and the four friends were huddled together on the bleacher opposite JJ and Helen's team. The first period had been very fast, and Jo had helped Cory give a running detail of the other team members and order of play. Taryn's attention wasn't fully on the game. Her thoughts kept returning to Jace. She wondered how serious Jace was about being friends. She glanced at the dark haired woman who was leaning against the wall, sipping coffee from her cup. Her eyes darted back and forth across the ice as she kept up with the puck. Every now and then a small smile would grace her face, linger and then disappear into a frown. The woman was still a complete mystery to Taryn. Taryn was envious of Jace's apparent knack of keeping warm. The tall woman had on blue jeans, a gray hooded sweatshirt, and a black leather jacket. Her hands were devoid of gloves but still looked their usual healthy color. Jace's face looked a little chilled but nothing compared to Cory's or Jo's. She felt a shiver travel up her spine. She was so cold.

Jace's attention moved from the game to Taryn when she heard and felt the blonde stamping her feet on the bench. "Cold?" The scowl on Taryn's face answered her question. "Stupid question, wasn't it?" Taryn just nodded. To speak would require her to open her mouth and let out valuable warm air. Her teeth chattered and she tried really hard to clamp them shut.

Jace was concerned about Taryn. The air in the rink was damp and extremely cold. She needed to find a way to warm Taryn up. She surveyed her options. They could go out to the entrance hall but that would defeat the whole purpose of coming to the game. Jace considered taking off her jacket and offering it to Taryn, but she knew Taryn would never accept it. And, if she was honest, the thought of not having her leather jacket made her shudder. Her third option was to try and move them to higher ground and hope that things were warmer away from the ice. She looked at the balcony seating. "Would you like to sit up there?" She indicated with her arm to the extra seats.

Taryn looked at the balcony. She opened blue lips and blew out a breath. "Sure. It can't be any colder." She turned to Cory, "Are you guys coming?"

Cory shook her head. "No, I'm going to stay down here. I like to be close enough to shout encouragement to JJ, but here take the blanket. The seats up there are wooden but they're still cold to sit on."

"Are you sure?" Taryn asked

"Positive. Jo and I are used to this cold."

Jo agreed with a shake of her head. "When your girlfriend is a rink rat, it's second nature to freeze your butt off in the name of love. Go."

Jace didn't need any more encouragement. She impulsively grabbed Taryn's hand and led her down the corridor and up the stairs. There was no one else up on the balcony and Jace decided that the middle seats would give them with a better view. "Here, help me spread this blanket out." Reluctantly, Taryn let go of Jace's warm hand. Her fingers had just begun to get some sensation back in them. They put the blanket over the seats and then sat on it, pulling the edges around their bodies. Jace tugged on her edge of the blanket but it wouldn't reach completely over her legs. "Sit closer." It came out as an order, and she sheepishly added a please to the sentence.

Taryn moved a little closer to Jace. She really wanted to snuggle as close to the warm woman as possible; however, her sense of decorum held her back. "Do you have enough blanket?" She asked.

Jace looked at Taryn. "I'm fine…but you still look frozen." She lifted her arm up and placed it behind Taryn. "Come closer. I promise not to bite." She revealed her white teeth and flashed her eyes at Taryn. Still seeing wariness in Taryn's eyes she returned to her usual sensible self. "Come on. I'm just teasing."

Taryn moved against Jace and felt a sudden warmth flow through her as she felt Jace's arm wrap around her. "Thanks. How do you manage to keep so warm?"

Jace pulled the blonde even closer and settled against the back of the seat. "I don't know. You would think I would hate the cold coming from the Mediterranean, but over the years I've just acclimatized. Are you feeling warmer?" She liked having Taryn so close. It felt so good to hold her. A wave of guilt washed over her and she tensed up. She's cold! She just wants warmth. Don't make more of it! A friendly hug, that's all. The more she tried to block out the thoughts, the warmer her body became. When she felt Taryn nestle even closer, she shuddered: a very different kind of shudder.

"Hey. You're cold. I felt you shiver." Taryn took Jace's hand and held it under the blanket.

Jace squeezed the frozen hand. "I'm all right." She rubbed Taryn's fingers, trying to get the blood to circulate more. Jace tried to focus on the game, anything to take her mind off the feelings soaring through her body.

Taryn half watched the game, feeling content that her body was beginning to warm up. The blanket aided to keep the cold air off her legs and hands. Jace's slow rhythmic stroking helped and Taryn silently switched hands so that the left hand could benefit from these gentle ministrations. She needed to remember to thank JJ for inviting her savior. She was sure she'd be a block of ice if Jace hadn't intervened. Taryn could feel Jace relax a little more. When they had first sat down the tall woman had been very tense, but now that her attention was on the game her manner was calmer and her body not so rigid.

When the second period ended, Taryn decided it was the ideal opportunity to find out more about her companion. Jace could hardly leave her, and in this intimate moment Taryn felt she might gain further insight into the complex woman. "Are you enjoying the game?" Jace looked down at Taryn. "Yes. It's pretty fast for an over thirties team."

"JJ's a really good player. Cory said she once played semi-professionally in Germany, for a few years. Helen looks good, too. They just switched to this team. JJ wanted to spend more time with Cory and her old team traveled a lot. Helen switched with her. It's kind of cute."

Jace looked blankly at Taryn. "What is?"

"The way they are together. I mean, for a couple that met online and have only lived together for not quite four months. They're very settled. They seem very comfortable around each other, and so open. I'm a little jealous."

"Really?"

Taryn nodded. "I half wish Marti and I could have had that."

"Do you think you were like them at the beginning?" Jace was interested in what Taryn perceived as a good relationship.

Taryn shook her head. "No. We were companions and sleeping partners, I never allowed the relationship to go any further." She chuckled to herself.

"What's so funny?" Jace asked confused at how Taryn could laugh at such an admission.

Taryn shook her head bemusedly. "Nothing. I'm just constantly amazed at how easy it is to talk to you and it just surprises me how you can manipulate a conversation away from yourself and onto me."

Jace bit back a caustic comment. The word manipulate had really hurt her. "I didn't realize I was doing that. I'm sorry." She mentally chastised herself for being so sensitive.

Taryn squeezed Jace's hand in assurance. "It wasn't a criticism, Jace. It's just… I'm beginning to understand what it must have been like for Marti, or even Jane, to have a conversation with me. I find it amusing because usually I'm the one who clams up. I just thought it was ironic as I had planned to use this time to …to get to know who you are."

Jace listened to Taryn's confession and sighed. She knew the time had come where she needed to try and be open with Taryn. If she wanted Taryn to see who the real Jace Xanthos was, then she needed to let her in, a little. "You could just ask." She remarked.

Taryn watched the players as they skated back onto the ice. "I didn't know how. I've always respected the fact that you're my supervisor and your privacy is your own, but tonight you said you wanted us to try and be more than that. Well…I tend to want to know about my friend's lives. I…wasn't asking to get office gossip."

Jace turned her body to face Taryn's, and tried not to drown in the chocolate colored eyes that seemed so open and honest. "I never thought you would." She paused, gathering her thoughts before she continued. "Taryn, I know how deeply you need your own privacy, and because of this I know you will respect mine. You have your aunt's integrity."

Taryn giggled nervously relieved that Jace wasn't mad at her for being curious, "Oh, I'm not so sure about that." A blush tinged the cold, pale face. She looked shamefaced at Jace. "I have tried questioning her about you…but she always refused to say anything."

Jace quietly pondered that admission. She silently thanked Jane for her discretion, but also felt a twinge of sadness, as there really wasn't much that Jane could have said. Jace made a decision then and there that she would rectify that fact, beginning right now. "Let's make our second deal of the evening. How about we feel like we can ask the other person anything, and they'll try and give an honest answer. But, if that person chooses not to answer the question we respect their decision and leave it alone. I'm willing to try being more open, if you are?"

Taryn scrutinized Jace's face. "You're serious, aren't you?" She watched as Jace quickly nodded in response. "Thanks. I'll try."

Jace was bemused with the response. She'd expected a million questions. When none were forthcoming, she settled down to watch the game. She felt secure in the knowledge that when the blonde had recovered from the shock she would soon be interrogating her. Jace just needed to decide which questions to answer.

**

The game had finished in a tie, but from the cheery looks on JJ and Helen's faces they seemed happy with it. The six women met up in the foyer of the ice arena. Taryn leaned against the wall heater and tried to warm her frozen nose. Jace chatted quietly with Jo and Cory, while JJ and Helen arranged the schedule for the following games. When Taryn felt a little more alive and social, she tried to join the conversation.

"God, Cory, you weren't kidding when you said this place was cold." Taryn wiggled her fingers and stamped her feet trying in vain to get the circulation moving.

Cory stopped talking and turned to Taryn. "Do you ever stop moaning? Every time I looked up, you seemed really cozy." She winked mischievously.

Taryn blushed and quickly looked at Jace. The tall woman was staring nonchalantly at the team notice board. "Jace was very gracious and leant me some of her body warmth. So, where are we going to eat? I'm starving." Taryn desperately changed the subject. She had really enjoyed Jace's company and didn't want to scare her off by joking with Cory. She didn't want to give Cory the wrong impression either. She saw the quick look that passed between Jo and Cory before their eyes focused on Jace. "What?" Taryn asked, totally confused. She turned her eyes to Jace.

Jace felt all eyes on her. She had turned away when Cory had mentioned her snuggling with Taryn. She didn't want anyone to see the color that she knew was glowing on her cheeks. She'd really enjoyed talking to and holding Taryn, and had felt another small barrier come down between them. When the final buzzer had sounded, Jace had been disappointed and very reluctant to release Taryn, assuring the younger woman that it would be a little while before JJ and Helen came out from the changing rooms, and they should stay where they were. Jace looked at Taryn, she felt like she had missed something important, but by the appearance of Taryn's baffled gaze, she didn't think she was the only one. "What?" Jace echoed Taryn's query.

Cory looked back at Jo, shrugged, and then looked back at Taryn. "Err…we usually go for a meal…at the local bar a few miles away."

"Great!" Taryn exclaimed, "So, why all the mystery?" She saw Cory look toward Jace and began to put two and two together. "Oh."

"Oh what?" asked Jace. She was becoming frustrated with the cryptic conversation that seemed to be going on between them.

Taryn kept her eyes trained on Jace. The woman had asked to be treated as an equal and Taryn wanted to honor that request. There was no other way to address the issue other than coming straight out with it. Taryn laughed quietly as she thought about the irony of her thoughts and the situation. Just be straight with her. What a play on words. "I think what Jo and Cory are inferring is the bar's clientele are gay."

"Oh." Jace replied, unsure of what to say.

Cory and Jo nodded to indicate that Taryn's guess had been correct. Taryn soon realized that neither woman was willing to jump in and explain their worries to the Director whose eyes were glinting like chips of ice. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly parched. She looked at her two friends, "Hey, I think your other halves need you."

Cory looked over her shoulder and saw JJ still engrossed with the coach over the schedule. She turned back to Taryn, and understood by the resolute expression on her roommate's face that her company was no longer required. She grabbed Jo's arm. "Come on, if we don't snatch our girls now, we'll be here all night." The two awkwardly left the circle, leaving Taryn stamping her feet, though not because she was cold.

Jace watched the two women leave. She couldn't understand what the hidden agenda was about but she definitely knew there was one, and that she was the center of it. "I think it's time for me to be the first person to test out our new deal. What's going on, Taryn? I feel like you three just had a whole conversation but not one word was uttered."

Taryn focused on the board behind Jace. "It's nothing. I think Cory and Jo were trying to be sensitive to your feelings, but blew it."

"Huh? I'm still confused."

"The gay bar. I think reading between the lines, Cory's worried you'll feel out of place in the bar."

Jace's eyes widened. "Oh…no. I mean I went out with you all on your birthday. I don't have a problem."

Taryn gave Jace a gentle smile, and then took a deep breath. Here goes. Now we'll see how this friendship deal works. "Err…you seemed okay when Jane was around… but Jace, you barely left her side all night. Whenever a woman so much as looked in your direction you grabbed Jane's hand and didn't let go. It…well, it was as if you were scared."

Jace's face blanched. She hadn't realized she had been so transparent. "I…I…was okay. I was trying to make Jane feel comfortable." She thought back to the evening at the bar. Taryn was right; she had been scared. The thought of being asked to dance by a stranger had both scared and exhilarated her. She had wanted to experiment and see what it was like to hold another woman. She'd wanted to see if her feelings for Taryn were real, or if it was just her awakening sexuality making itself known. But the fear had been stronger than the temptation and she had always sought refuge in Jane's arms or company.

Taryn could tell Jace was lying. Her normally bronzed skin was pale and a mild sheen covered her face. The blonde stepped closer to Jace. "Remember our pact. The deal was that we would answer honestly or not answer at all. Your face gives you away, Jace. Look, I know how I feel when I go into straight bars. I feel out of place and uncomfortable, and if I'm honest, scared at times. Scared that someone will ask me out and they won't like my response. If it's going to make you uneasy we can go to a generic place. I'm sure there's a Friendly's or a Chili's close by."

Jace shook her head. She'd screwed up her first opportunity to be honest and open with Taryn. "I promise you, Taryn. I have no problem going to a gay bar." Dancing with you, I have an issue with. Watching other women kiss and getting so turned on, I have a problem with. Wanting to take you in my arms and hold you forever, I have a concern about. Jace reeled off in her mind all the things she had issues with. Taryn was standing so close to her that all it would take was a tiny step and a dip of her head and they'd be kissing. The arena atmosphere may have been chilling her extremities, but inside she was burning and the fire was at her very core. She wriggled uncomfortably, trying to ignore the wetness that she could feel gathering between her legs. She looked anywhere but at Taryn. She knew that one look in those deep brown eyes would be her undoing.

Taryn watched the emotions fleeting across Jace's face. There was more to Jace's admission but in the middle of the arena foyer was neither the time, nor the place. She could see the other four women waiting on the other side, four identical quizzical looks on their faces. "Okay, but this conversation is not over." She saw the slight nod of Jace's head. "Just promise me, that you'll use me for support like you used Aunt Jane before."

Jace sent a silent 'thank you' to whichever gods were looking down on her. She flashed Taryn a goofy grin. "I promise…and if I need to I'll pretend to be your date."

"Pardon?" Taryn asked feeling rather flummoxed.

"Both Jane and I were a little nervous about going some place new, so we made a deal that we'd pretend to be partners. Taryn, I swear, you have nothing to worry about. I am not at all homophobic. I love spending time with you guys and I think those four make wonderful couples…" Jace looked in the direction of the others, "and I really enjoyed your birthday. It was probably the best night out I've had in a while. So let's quit talking about it and get to the bar before JJ devours Cory's arm!"

Taryn slapped Jace's arm softly, relieved that Jace was comfortable around them all. "You have a wicked sense of humor. Come on then, if you're my date," She opened her arm, "you can walk me to the car."

**

"Did you enjoy the game, Jace?" JJ asked as she wiped the last remnants of her meal from her plate.

Jace looked up from her meal and quickly swallowed the mouthful of meat she had been chewing. "It was good. I think you and Helen make a great defensive pair. When you were on the ice the offense didn't stand a chance. The only time they scored was when you switched off."

JJ smiled, "Thanks. It was a huge decision to leave my other team. I don't know about Helen, but I feel settled with this new team. There's less pressure on me to train and they always play in Falmouth. My other team played away a lot and I just didn't want to leave Cory alone. Plus, my new job requires me to be around more regularly on a day-to-day basis. I used to be a tech at another college, one of your rivals in fact, and the hours were way more flexible."

Jace watched how the other couples interacted. Their displays of affection were obvious. Jace had noticed that Jo and Helen tended to distance themselves when in general public, but now in an accepting environment Helen's hand had rarely left Jo's. Cory and JJ's love and relationship was obvious to anyone with eyes. Everywhere they went, one or the other was always in contact: a small hand on a back, a touch of an arm, or brief touch of hands seemed to be their way of telling the other they were there, and thinking of the other. Jace continued to watch as JJ wrapped her arm around Cory's shoulder and pulled her close for a kiss.

"Get a room!" Taryn heckled from across the table. "Don't you two ever get tired of smooching?" She winked at Cory to show she was just joking. "JJ, I demand you take that wench onto the dance floor. She looks like her hunger hasn't been sated!" Cory took Taryn's hint and led her willing partner onto the dance floor where they immediately gravitated together and resumed kissing.

Helen stood up and held her hand out to Jo. "If you can't beat 'em, then I say we should join them. Excuse us."

Jace felt a pang of disappointment and jealousy, she desperately wanted to be able to ask Taryn to dance, but she didn't trust her own actions. The atmosphere was too intoxicating. She tried to take her mind off having the blonde in her arms and surveyed her surroundings. It was a very eclectic bar. The area was much more spacious than the previous bar and definitely not as packed. Jace was pleased that there was less smoke and she relaxed back in her seat praying that Taryn wouldn't ask her to dance. She glanced across at her dining partner. Taryn had a wistful expression on her face. A tiny furrow of lines ran across her forehead. Jace knew Taryn's expressions well. She had spent the last few months studying the blonde from afar. There were times at work when Jace had found her own concentration lacking. It was always when Taryn was in her immediate field of view or vicinity. Rather than continue fruitlessly with her work, Jace would just watch the younger woman. Jace knew that at this very moment Taryn was running something through her mind. "How was the food?"

Taryn broke her gaze from the couples on the dance floor and met dark, cerulean eyes. "Good. You can't really go wrong with steak and fries. I'm glad you're enjoying the evening, you look happy?"

Jace took a sip of her beer. She knew she had to drive home once they got back to the apartment, so she had limited herself to just one, and planned on savoring it for a while. She did feel happy, even content. "I am."

Taryn swirled the ice around in her glass. She had watched Jace interact with the others and various questions had arisen. She glanced to the dance floor and saw the others still dancing. She might never get a better opportunity to talk this personally with Jace. "Jace…"

"Yes?" Jace had felt the subtle shift in mood between them. Taryn's expression had turned sober and she'd straightened in her seat. Jace sensed a serious conversation looming on the horizon.

"Are you seeing anybody?"

Jace looked directly at Taryn, "No."

Taryn wasn't surprised at the answer. She knew Jace spent all her vacations in Jane's company, but she wanted to know more about the woman. "How come?"

Jace shrugged, "Work, I guess."

"Classic workaholic syndrome?" Taryn asked.

"I guess so."

Taryn was trying to think of a question that would elicit more than monosyllabic or short response from Jace. "Has it been a long time since you dated?"

Jace thought about the question. Would it be lying if I said yes? Or do I just tell her and put the girl out of her misery. Jace could tell that Taryn was trying to be diplomatic, and Jace was very embarrassed that she had no relationship history. She thought of a way to say it all but not lie. "It seems like a lifetime." That was about as honest as I can get. Now do what you do best and move the conversation away from your secrets. "What about you? How are you feeling?"

Taryn sensed that her open question session had just been closed, nevertheless she felt pleased that she knew a little more about Jace. "I'm doing okay. I'm feeling a little sad, but I'll survive. I always have before. I'm just a little depressed. I thought I'd gotten past the whole dating scene." She surveyed the bar and shuddered. "One thing I do know is that I'm not ready to get back into it just yet."

Jace nodded in agreement. Since her libido had awakened, her thoughts had turned to dating. Jane had been trying to get her to at least go out on a date, but the usually confident woman had blanched at the predatory looks she had received at Taryn's birthday outing. Admitting her attraction to women was one thing; acting on it was entirely different. "Before Marti, did you date a lot?"

"It depends what you call dating. In Ireland I went a little crazy. I needed some relief from nursing and taking care of my mom. When the opportunity arose I would drive to the city and visit one particular bar. Well…let's just say I didn't go there to make friends…" Seeing the shocked look on Jace's face, she added. "I'm not proud of myself."

Jace gulped. They were so different. She had held no pretense that Taryn was innocent, but finding out that Taryn was a very experienced lover made her nervous. They were way too different. "So you were an Irish Romeo?" She laughed nervously, "What about before Ireland, I mean when did you know…you were gay?"

Taryn relaxed when she didn't see repulsion or shock in Jace's eyes, although she sensed the older woman was feeling some discomfort. Her attention moved back to the dance floor, and she noted that the four others had moved over to the pool table. She was pleased. It would give her more time to talk to Jace. Taryn had no idea what it was about Jace, but she found herself wanting to open up more. "Tough question. I'm someone who believes you're born with a defined sexuality. I always knew I was different from other girls. In school, I had the usual teenage crushes, except mine were on female friends or teachers. I didn't come out until college. However, when I did, my mom and Jane were very accepting. I hadn't planned on telling the family, but then I met Ann and I thought she was the one for me." Taryn took a large gulp of her beer. Talking about Ann always brought back painful memories. "Unfortunately, I was just another notch on her bedpost. It hurt like hell and I felt rejected again. Since then I've played it safe. I thought I'd found happiness with Marti, but over the past few months I began to question my motives for being with her. So there's my love life in a nutshell. How about your sexual awakening?"

Jace was genuinely interested in the subject of sexuality. She really wanted to know more about how other people discovered their preferences. Her analytical mind was replaying her own childhood and teenage years. She tried to remember a time when she'd been attracted to anyone. She couldn't. I must be one hell of a slow learner. She didn't want to admit to Taryn that she hadn't slept with anyone, but she'd promised Taryn honesty. Jace thought about not answering the question. However, she knew that would put a damper on the rest of their conversations. Taking an enormous leap of faith, Jace swallowed the nervous lump in her throat. "I…haven't had as much experience as you."

"I don't pride myself on that. I'd swap all my previous experience to find a relationship like JJ and Cory have."

Jace followed Taryn's stare. JJ and Cory were kissing each other slowly, while Helen and Jo played a game of pool together. "Speaking of Cory and JJ, I couldn't help notice the photo on the table. Was that Cory dressed as a bride?"

Taryn nodded. She'd seen Jace's questioning look when she'd come to the house midweek. Knowing Jane would have noticed the picture too, Taryn had talked to Cory about what she could say if people asked. Cory had given her permission to tell Jace or Jane that she had been married. "Yes. Cory left her husband to be with JJ, and JJ left her long time partner. The man in the photo was Cory's grandfather."

Jace raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh. I never would have guessed. So, is Cory bisexual?"

"No. She knew all along she was a lesbian, but she tried to please her family, and society in general, by going along with the perceived norm. Helen teases her and says she's been on that long river called denial. I'm just pleased that she finally found JJ" She watched the two lovers as they comfortably displayed their affection. "She looks so happy, and if she hadn't met JJ then I would never have met her either. She's been a real rock for me." Taryn finished her bottle of beer. She didn't want the conversation to end. "Let's see, we've discussed my sexuality… and Cory's. You dodged my previous question, so I'll rephrase it. When did you realize you were straight?" She winked at Jace expecting to get a huge grin in return, but what she saw instead was fear.

Tell her. No lies. Just tell her the truth and move on. Jace's pulse was racing and her heart fluttered. She'd been nervous telling Jane, but it had felt nothing like this. She stared down at her hands and swallowed. "I…I'm not." Jace couldn't look up. It was so ironic. Here she was in the middle of a predominantly lesbian bar, coming out to her gay friend, and she had a dreadful feeling that she wasn't going to be accepted.

Taryn was shocked at the admission. Even after all the hints from Marti, and the odd comment from Cory, Taryn had never considered Jace a lesbian. Or maybe she hadn't wanted to consider the possibility that Jace was gay. "I'm sorry, I just assumed."

Jace tried to reply to Taryn, unfortunately, JJ and Cory chose that precise moment to reappear at the table. She desperately wanted to talk more with Taryn. She didn't want her coming out to be like a white elephant in the room, something that would always be there and hard to ignore. She smiled as JJ gave a running commentary on the pool game they had played. Jace caught Taryn's eye a few times. She was thankful that Taryn never looked away. In fact, Taryn looked as pissed about the interruption as she was.

Taryn was relieved when the other four called it a night. JJ and Cory had stayed at the table for the rest of the evening. Taryn had wanted to ask Jace to dance, just so they could continue their conversation, but the dance floor was not the best place for a heart-to-heart. Jace hadn't said much since her admission, and after her initial surprise Taryn had begun to realize what a huge admission it must have been for Jace. In fact, Taryn felt truly honored that Jace trusted her enough to admit the truth. Taryn just felt there was more to the story. Jace had been cagey, to say the least, when Taryn had asked her about relationships.

Helen and Jo said goodbye after they walked through the bar door. Jace was surprised when she was pulled into a hug by Jo, and patted on the back by Helen. She felt like she belonged in this group of friends. Their goodbyes seemed genuine. JJ went around to her side of the truck, and Cory opened the passenger door and waited patiently as Taryn and Jace climbed in.

"Are you sure you're okay sitting in the back, Jace? I feel bad that I have all this leg room and you've squeezed those long legs in the back."

"I'm fine. I promise, but thank you for asking." She reassured Cory. She was a little crushed in the back, but on the other hand she was sitting beside Taryn and that was all that mattered. An uncomfortable feeling had developed between them and Jace wanted to clear it up. She wasn't sure if Taryn was mad because she hadn't told her the complete truth before. "Are we okay?" Jace whispered when JJ turned the engine on.

Taryn placed her hand on Jace's leg and squeezed it lightly. "We're fine. Don't worry about it."

Jace looked at the hand on her thigh. A tingling sensation ran up her leg from the offending appendage, and Jace had to grit her teeth and stifle a moan that was desperate to be heard. The temptation to hold Taryn's hand and move it other places was so strong. Jace peered at Cory and JJ, and when both women appeared to be more interested in discussing Christmas than listening to the backseat conversation, she turned back to Taryn. "You don't sound fine."

Taryn could see the concern etched on Jace's face. She wished circumstances were different. "I promise. We'll talk about it later, okay?"

To be continued...

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