# Chapter 24

Cory settled into the car seat. Sam’s words were playing over and over like a stuck record. It was her fault. She’d put her friend before her family. Now she was being punished. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to block out the world. They drove in silence.

Thirty minutes later, Sam pulled into his in laws’ driveway. He glanced sideways at Cory. She looked awful. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes swollen. Her forehead had slight wrinkles on it, and he knew she was fighting demons. Demons he’d placed in there. “Cory come on love, we’re here. You’re going to have to put on a brave face. Your mum needs you.”

Cory opened her eyes; the light stinging them. “I know Sam. It’s just hard for me, too.” She shrugged off his attempt at a hug, and climbed out of the car. She found her mum lying on the sofa in the lounge. There were memories of her granddad scattered all over the coffee table. Cory picked up a pile of photos. There were photos of him as a child, photos from the war, and holiday pictures of him camping with her grandmother. There was one black and white photo that looked like a family holiday. It included her grandparents, mum, and what looked like her Uncle Tony, Uncle Keith and Uncle George.

“When was this taken?” Cory sat next to her mum and passed the photo to her.

Carol smiled. She’d found the photos at Fred’s house as they’d begun the clear out. Fred had been very succinct in his wishes. He’d wanted to clean his own belongings out of the house. Unfortunately, they’d only been able to clean out the living room cupboards. They’d been meaning to go through the photos and other mementos, but hadn’t gotten that far.

“It was taken in Scotland. I think I was about 9, so it was probably around 1956. Your grandfather had driven us up there in that car. Can you imagine all that camping gear and four children, plus your Nan in that tiny car? I remember we traveled around the Highlands, and one day it broke down. Your Uncle Tony had to help your grandfather push the car up a very steep hill. It was a good holiday though. Your grandfather loved camping. He liked going abroad with your Nan. He really wanted to take us all to Las Vegas this year, but the cancer got him.”

Cory didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to see her mum cry, so she continued to look at the photos. She found many photos of her granddad in a Royal Navy uniform. She found it hard to envision what it had been like for her granddad in the war. From what he’d told her over the years, he’d signed up at an early age, and was a gunner on a battleship. It was part of the reason his hearing had been so bad, all those huge guns pounding away. He’d never admitted his hearing was poor, even when the doctor had offered him a hearing aid. She remembered watching ‘Saving Private Ryan’ with him, and the sadness that had been evident on her grandfather’s face. He’d been on his ship just off the coast of Dunkirk, and could remember the countless deaths of his friends. He’d pointed out the sounds of the guns in the background of the movie. He’d indicated with his finger where his ship had been, and that the guns that sounded far off were those from ships, his being one of them. That memory had made Cory very proud of her granddad. She picked up the medals. Her grandfather had been a hero, to her and his country.

“Those are going to your Uncle Keith.” Cory’s mum said very matter of fact.

“But Uncle Keith is a jerk, mum! He never cared about granddad. He didn’t even visit him. You said he’d told granddad he wouldn’t be seeing him after Nan died, that he needed to find himself. And he never forgave granddad for the way he brought him up.” Cory was angry. She didn’t have much time for her Uncle Keith. He was a self-absorbed jackass. His only concern was for himself. He’d had a nervous breakdown a few years earlier, and had spent time in an institution. Now he blamed every member of the family, except for himself.

“It was Fred’s wishes. I may not agree with them, but I have to follow them, Cory. Are there any photos that you want?”

Cory looked at the table. “Maybe. I like the one of granddad and me at my wedding.” She looked at the large print. Her grandfather was smiling. He’d been very proud that day. He’d cried at the top table when they’d given a toast to absent friends. Her Nan had died six months before the wedding.

“Sure, take it now and put it in the bag over there. It’s got some sweaters and shirts in there. You were so generous to him over the years, and he never wore all of them. You know he’d never really got out of the rationing and post war way of life. Some of the shirts have never been opened I thought you might want to give them to someone, or a charity of your choice.” Carol picked up another photo of her father. It was one of him in his younger days, just after the war when he’d married her mother, in 1947.

“This is the photo I’m going to use to put on the remembrance card. What do you think?”

Cory shrugged, “It’s not granddad.”

“Of course it is, love.”

Cory shook her head. “I know it is granddad. I just mean it’s not the granddad I knew. The granddad I knew never had much hair, just short white hair on the side. He had a great smile, and bright blue eyes. He was full of colour this picture is black and white and makes him seem dull. It just doesn’t remind me of granddad. It’s like the photo you used when Nan died. I couldn’t relate to the young woman on the photo. I’d never met her, and I found it hard to remember her.” She held the wedding photo in her hand. “This is how I remember him, full of life and smiling.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “It’s your choice, of course. It’s how you remember him too.”

“Well how about we use them both, a father and a grandfather shot? There’s one photo for the front, and one for the back. Your wishes count too, Cory. Yours, Kerry’s and Mike’s.”

Cory spent the rest of the afternoon going through the mementos with her mum. Bagging up photos that were going to be given to all her aunts and uncles. As the afternoon had turned to evening, visitor after visitor had come to pay their respects. Her grandfather had been well loved by many.

By 9pm, Cory was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. She walked outside and glanced up at the stars. The last time she’d looked at the stars, JJ had been in her arms. Now here she was, all alone. She hadn’t spoken to JJ yet. Her guilt was the only thing preventing her. Well not the only thing; Sam had been like glue around her. Every time she looked up, he’d been nearby. She was surprised that JJ hadn’t called. She was sure JJ had said she’d call that day. Cory decided she’d call JJ the next day. Sam would be at work, and he’d told her that Marj had insisted she take Monday off to spend time with her mother.

JJ was still concerned about Cory, and absolutely pissed off with Sarah. Helen had found her shooting hoops in the driveway. “You ready for practice, JJ? You haven’t showered yet!”

“Well, some woman was taking up space in my bath tub. I didn’t think it was polite to climb over her.” She’d been shooting hoop after hoop, and dribbling around the tiny driveway.

“Hey I’ve been out of the bathroom for thirty minutes! I shouted to you. You seem a bit wrapped up. Need to talk?”

“Sure, but on the way to practice. I’ll just go and grab my bag.” Helen watched JJ run to the house, and followed after her. She’d seen JJ down before, but this seemed different.

Helen had been waiting patiently for JJ to begin the conversation, but sensing the tall woman wasn’t in the mood to talk, she decided to take the initiative. “So did you call Cory?”

JJ nodded, never taking her eyes off the road.

“Did she talk to Sam?”

JJ shook her head.

“Come on J, give me a break. I’m trying to help you here. Remember the rules? To have a conversation requires two people to talk, that includes verbal communication as well as non verbal. How about I ask the questions and you answer.”

JJ grinned, “You’re such the fool, Helen. I’m sorry. I called the house, Sam answered. Cory’s grandfather died yesterday. He told me Cory wasn’t taking it very well, and then he hung up on me.”

“He hung up on you?”

JJ nodded, “Now I’m worried sick about Cory. She loved Fred so much, and she spent the last two days away from him to be with me. Knowing Cory as I think I know her, she must be so guilt ridden. What if she blames me?”

Helen placed her hand on JJ’s arm, “Hey, stop thinking like that. She wouldn’t think like that and you know it. You weren’t to blame, and even if she feels bad about not being there, she’s hardly likely to blame you. You told me yourself how ill he was. She knew it was coming, and she risked being with you. She knew the consequences. Call her tomorrow before work. You have her cell number so you can leave a message, or call her at work if you don’t want to chance talking to Sam. Get the truth before you jump to conclusions. Now are you ready to sweat, coach has big plans for us.”

“God, when am I going to catch a break? I feel like a truck has driven over me, and here I am asking for more pain!!” The two women giggled. They knew the torture they were going to go through during practice.

Cory woke up to a silent house. She’d taken some painkillers when she’d arrived home, and gone straight to bed, partly to sleep off the headache and partly so she didn’t have to spend much time with Sam. He’d been overly nice to her, and that had made her guilt ten times worse. Now was hardly the time to split up with him. Not before the funeral, it wasn’t fair on Sam, and she didn’t need to add more worry to her parent’s already full plate. For a brief moment the previous day, she’d felt guilty for being with JJ, but she’d remembered what Kerry had said. Her granddad had been happy for her, and he’d liked JJ.

She looked at the clock. It was just past 8am. Sam must have left early. She put on her bathrobe and went downstairs. Holly greeted her with a bark and a lick as she opened the kitchen door. On the table there was a brief note from Sam. He wasn’t expecting to be home until late, but he’d bring a takeaway if she was willing to wait. She switched the kettle on and went into the lounge. Her laptop was packed away neatly in the corner of the room. She hadn’t touched it since midweek. Her thoughts went to JJ. She needed to speak to her, but it was way too early to wake her yet. She booted the computer up and returned to the kitchen.

Having made a cup of tea, Cory settled into the rocking chair and rested her feet on the radiator. She plugged the modem into the phone line extension and dialled up the connection. She hated the squawking noise that the modem made as it tried to connect her. Finally, the system connected and she pressed the Outlook Express button. Her email box was full, and she read down the list, noticing three emails from JJ. The first was a card that made her throat contract and eyes water. She’d cried so much over the weekend she was surprised she had any tears left. The second email was a thank you from JJ for the week, and the love she felt for Cory. It was short and to the point and made Cory realise how worried JJ must have been. She looked at the third email it was titled ‘Call Me’. She opened the mail.

Dear Cory,

I called yesterday and Sam gave me the bad news. I’m so sorry, babe. If I could be there with you I would, but I know deep down it would cause you more trouble than I would wish for you. So here I am, miles away from you, and I feel useless.

Babe, Sam said you were feeling guilty about being with me. I hope this isn’t true. I feel very selfish; as all I keep thinking about is the wonderful time I had with you and how special it was. I know I only knew Fred briefly, but I don’t think he’d blame you, babe.

Please call me when you get this, if you can or want to, that is. It doesn’t matter what time of day, babe. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you’re okay, and most of all I need to connect with you. I’m going crazy.

You’re in my heart – always and forever

J (CALL ME!!)

Cory burst into tears. She was going to have words with Sam. She grabbed the phone. JJ had said to call no matter what time. She disconnected the phone line and opened up an old email, which held JJ’s number. The phone rang, once, twice and on the third ring she heard a clatter and a bang.

“Hello.” Cory said hesitantly, worried that Sarah may have answered.

“Huh?” JJ rubbed her head. She’d been scared awake, and had fumbled for the phone, pulling half the tabletop contents onto her head.

“JJ is that you?”

“Cory, thank god it’s you. I’ve been so worried about you.” JJ choked out, her mouth felt full of cotton wool.

Cory took a deep breath. She missed the woman so much. “I’m sorry babe, I went a bit crazy for a while. I didn’t get your message, Sam didn’t tell me you’d called.”

“That figures. So how are you? I’m so sorry, Cory. He was a special man.”

“I’m doing better, now that the shock has worn off. Occasionally I feel like it’s all a dream, and then I realise it’s not. I think too many things happened this weekend, and I had a huge guilt trip.”

“About us, or about not being there?” JJ asked nervously.

Cory twiddled with her hair, how much did she tell her lover. “A bit of both really. When I got there I was mad. Mad at leaving him, and a little mad because I’d been with you. But then I wouldn’t have been with him anyway. He died early in the morning. The rest is guilt because I haven’t told Sam. I’m not sure whether I feel guilty because I feel like I’m betraying you, or guilty because I betrayed his trust in me. It’s just been hell, and all I’ve wanted to do is sleep, and be with you.”

“I’m sorry Cor, I feel like I should be doing more. If you hadn’t called today, I was seriously thinking of catching a plane back over. You had me scared babe.”

“I know. I feel bad. So how are things on your end? How was Sarah?” The soothing sound of JJ’s voice was helping her. She just wished she could be with her.

“She wasn’t here when I got back, she’d taken all her stuff and more.”

“No way!”

“Yes. She took the bed and other stuff, and when I got back from training yesterday, she’d taken the lounge furniture and the patio stuff. She left the TV, video and other electrical items. I have the old 2-seater sofa from the kitchen and the spare bed. Oh, she left the washer and dryer too. Helen wanted to go over there and get the things back, but if that’s what it takes to get her out of my life, I’ll take it. She’s shown her true colours really. I need to do some math and see what I can afford to replace. We didn’t get a chance to discuss the actual house. She was way too angry, but it looks like she’s got a new girlfriend.”

“Bloody hell, already?” Cory was amazed the woman had only dumped JJ on Wednesday.

“Well Sarah was never one for being on her own. She needs a bed buddy. I think this Chris is a rebound romance. At some point this week I need to look into the house situation, but I’m waiting for Sarah to make the first move. She’s still paying the mortgage so it’s no skin off my nose. Any news when the funeral will be?” JJ glanced at the clock. It was coming up to 4am, and she felt exhausted. The coach had worked them hard. Her body ached from muscles she hadn’t worked in over a week.

“Thursday morning. The funeral car is coming to granddad’s house, and we begin the procession from there. Mum wants us to go in the funeral car. Granddad had booked two: one for his children and the other for grandchildren, if we wanted. I think Kerry and I are going to travel in it with my uncle’s wife and my little cousin.” Cory didn’t want to think about the funeral. “I miss you J.”

“I miss you too babe, so much. I want to be there. Holding you and wiping the tears, but I know I can’t. Even if could, it would cause you problems. How’s Sam been?” JJ had many things she wanted to say about Sam, but felt it was best to keep quiet for Cory’s sake. She didn’t trust the guy at all.

“He’s been very thoughtful. He’s hurting too. He was very close to granddad. I’m pissed off with him at the moment because he never mentioned you’d called yesterday, and I can’t believe he told you about the guilt. You wait until later, I’ll have it out with him.”

As much as JJ wanted to hit the guy, she didn’t want Cory to get into any more trouble or grief. “Cory I think you should let it go. I know you’re safe and sound now, it’s no use winding him up. He obviously had his reason for doing and saying what he did. Wait until the funeral is over. Please?”

“Okay, but only because you asked. I’m going to talk to him after the funeral. Maybe over the weekend, I’m going to tell him I need a break. I don’t think I can move out as I have nowhere to go except home, and I don’t want to be in my parent’s house, not so soon after the death. I thought I’d ask Sam to sleep in the spare room and take it from there. I haven’t had chance to think beyond that. You’re not mad, are you?” It was true Cory hadn’t given the future any thought since the death. She’d had so many plans in her head on the drive back up, including numerous conversations with Sam. But now they were all surplus to requirement. She couldn’t have the chat before the funeral. She didn’t have the energy.

“Hey babe, you take your time. I’m not going anywhere. When you feel the time is right, you can talk to Sam. I know how you feel about me, and I trust you, babe. I said always and forever and I mean always – even if it takes a long time, I know we can do it. So how long are you off school for?”

“Nice try at changing the subject Matthews. I love you, and I promise you we’ll be together soon. I’m going back to work tomorrow. Marj told me to take as much time as I needed. Nancy’s covering my class, but I should be there. It’ll help keep my mind focussed. As much as I hate to do this, I think you should go back to sleep. What time do you have to go to work?”

JJ groaned, “I have to be in at 8am. I was planning on getting up at 5 but that’s an hour away. I guess seeing as I’m already awake, an extra hour won’t kill me. I have a game tonight against a team from New Hampshire, so I’m leaving an hour early as it begins at 7. My body clock is all messed up, though. I think I’m struggling with jet lag still.”

“Well, the last thing you need is a crazy Brit calling you early in the morning. J, take care of yourself, and I’ll email you later. I love you, babe. I promise.”

“Thanks for the call Cory. It made me feel better, knowing you’re okay and knowing you really do love me. I love you too. Always. Have a good one.”

“You too and good luck tonight. I hope you win!”

“Me too. Bye.” JJ placed the phone back in its cradle and curled herself into a ball. Her heart ached, and she missed Cory so much. If she closed her eyes she could smell the mint of her hair, and see the green eyes looking back at her. She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling, seven weeks was going to be a hell of a long time coming.

Wednesday evening came quicker than Cory expected. School had kept her very busy. The students had been busy with practice SATs tests, and Cory had plenty of marking. Her netball team had practiced Tuesday after school, and had a game earlier that evening. Rachel had tried to convince Cory to participate in Body Pump that evening. Cory had given an excuse about having to visit her mum before the funeral. A small white lie, but Rachel would never know. She had other plans for the evening, Sam was attending a late business meeting, and JJ had promised to call. The American had bought a phone card so she could use the college phone in one of the off campus sites, which would give them some privacy. Cory was beginning to hate the five-hour difference. They never seemed to be around when the other one was available to play.

The one productive thing Cory had done that week was to book her trip out at Easter. She had surfed a few sites and got a pretty good deal. She couldn’t wait until later in the term to book, with it being Easter time flights filled up pretty quickly, and she’d promised JJ she’d be out there. She didn’t care what anybody said. Even if it killed her, she’d be in Massachusetts over Easter. She couldn’t wait to tell JJ.

She looked at the computer clock, and saw that she had ten minutes before her call. She shut down the computer and went to make a drink. She wanted to sit in the lounge so she could watch for Sam’s car. She hated the sneaking around but she couldn’t tell him just yet. Even if she’d wanted to, he hadn’t been around. She knew he had a busy workload and that he’d made plans to have the next few days off. She appreciated the thought. He really was a good guy. She knew he’d be heart broken, but she’d known all along she was gay and had really tried to make it work. She just couldn’t go on living a lie. They both wanted different things from the relationship, and Cory needed to right a wrong. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but life wasn’t that kind. Regardless of her feelings for JJ, she needed to talk to Sam once and for all.

The phone ringing jolted her back to reality. She couldn’t wait to hear JJ’s voice again! They’d been emailing daily, and had been able to have an early evening instant message chat yesterday. But nothing could replace the tone of JJ’s voice. Nothing could take the place of hearing JJ’s soothing tone.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe, how you doing?” Cory was so excited.

“You sound perkier. How are you doing?” JJ was pleased to hear Cory’s voice sounded more relaxed.

“I’m doing better. I’m dreading tomorrow, but I can’t avoid the inevitable.” Cory had hoped to keep the conversation light and breezy.

JJ wanted to change the subject, but she knew she needed to talk to Cory about the funeral. “Babe, it’s going to be hard. Remember back to your grandmother’s. All I can say is lean on people. They love you, even Sam. You’re going to need him tomorrow, let him be there for you. It hurts me that he gets to be the one that wipes your tears and holds you, but I’m pleased you have someone. Hey, I have an embarrassing story that might make you smile.”

“You do? Fess up Matthews.” Cory couldn’t believe how JJ could think so level headed.

“Well if I tell you, promise you’ll use it as a visual to help you through tomorrow. Promise me?”

“I promise. So what happened?”

“Well yesterday I woke up late. I think the jet lag finally caught up with me. Anyway, I had to be at the Brookline campus, and had about 40 minutes to get there. We were doing upgrades to all the college computers. So I jumped in the shower and grabbed the nearest clothes I could find, mainly anything that was at the top of the bureau.” JJ could feel the pain as she spoke.

“Uh huh, so what did you end up wearing?”

JJ giggled, “Your underwear!”

“My what?”

“You heard me, your panties, or knickers as you call them.” JJ blushed.

“How the hell did you get a pair of my knickers? More to the point, why were you wearing them?” Cory giggled.

“I have no idea. It was your black pair. They look like mine. I guess I must have packed them at the hotel by mistake. I never noticed I had them on until lunchtime. I arrived at work and something felt weird. As the day progressed, I could feel my legs numbing, and I had this weird sensation in my stomach. I could barely breath. I thought I was having a heart attack. When I went to the bathroom to pee, the elastic was cutting into the top of my leg and waist. It was then I realised they were yours. I had to take them off and go commando the rest of the afternoon. If I hadn’t I’m sure I would have fainted! All I could imagine was being rushed to hospital, and having to explain why I was wearing underwear two sizes too small. You have incredibly small undies!” All JJ could hear was Cory’s laughter down the phone.

“That’s it, laugh at a woman while she’s down. I think I’m scarred for life! The red marks are still there, you know.”

Cory couldn’t stop laughing, picturing the scene. “I’m sorry babe, but that’s what you get for stealing my underwear.”

“Hey I never stole it. If I’d known it was yours I’d have never washed them!”

“You pervert!” Cory shouted down the phone.

“Yeah, but I’m your pervert, right?” JJ was pleased to hear the laughter. It felt good to make Cory smile.

“Yes, you’re my girl. Oh, I have some good news for you. I booked my ticket for Easter.” Cory knew this news would cheer JJ up.

“Really?” JJ had believed Cory when she said she’d be out at Easter, but believing and hearing that she’d booked a ticket were two different things. This made the trip more real.

“Do you want to hear the good news?”

“Sure.”

“Well I’d been going on last years calendar, and I thought Easter was in April, but Easter’s early this year. So I fly out on the 23rd of March. Which is just under four weeks away! The down side for me is that the final term is going to be a long term, almost fourteen weeks. But in twenty-three days I get to see you again! Isn’t that great?” Cory hadn’t believed it herself. She’d been all for waiting six to seven weeks and then her boss had reminded everyone of the short half term, and the need to hold parent consultations earlier than usual. This had made Cory so happy! She’d been dreading the seven-week gap, and now the reality was that JJ would be in her arms very soon.

“Unbelievable! I can’t believe it’s that soon!” JJ was amazed. She’d marked off seven weeks in her calendar, and now Cory was saying that in less than four she’d be in the US.

“Yeah, it was more my fault, really. I generally think of half terms being about seven weeks. I had no idea that Easter was early. I tend to think of Easter being like Christmas, held on the same day every year. How stupid is that? And I call myself a teacher! Anyway, it’s early and so is the holiday. I’m not going to complain, but just remind me of that when I have to teach for fourteen weeks next term!”

“Sure, sounds good to me. I think I need to make sure I book time off. Cory, I won’t be able to take the whole two weeks off. I have about seven days vacation left and then I have to work.”

“Hey no problem. At least you have Good Friday and Bank Holiday Monday, as well.” Cory added.

JJ shook her head, then she realised that Cory couldn’t see this gesture. “No babe, we don’t have these holidays. Its just Easter Sunday we recognise officially. As a good catholic girl, I know what Good Friday is about. Some places give you Good Friday off, but not the college. We have Spring break two weeks earlier. The problem is, the college makes me work harder when the students are absent, as it’s the only time the computers are free. It’s been rumoured that we’re getting new systems over Spring break. Which means I’ll be refitting labs, and then loading software for the next few weeks. But we’ll work something out.” JJ was pissed, but she knew there was no way she could take more time off.

Hearing the disappointment in her lover’s voice Cory spoke quickly, “Hey, if I get to wake up in your arms and hold you at night, I don’t care what I do. It’s not like our life is going to be one big vacation. This will give us an indication of how life might be together. I have a shit load of work I need to prepare before the new term begins. I could always come into work with you, if you wanted me to?”

JJ smiled, “These plans sound nice, Cory. I can’t wait. It gives me something to look forward to.”

“I know what you mean. Tomorrow is going to be worse time of my life. I’m dreading it. I know the weekend is going to be hard, too. I just hate hurting Sam, but I know I have to be cruel to be kind. He deserves someone who loves him. I mean I love him, but I don’t love him. Does that make sense?” Cory still had no idea how she was going to start the conversation with Sam.

“I understand Cory. Like I’ve said before, take your time. You’ve told him many times how you feel, and he’s had chances to change his ways. I’ve seen him in action Cory, and I know it’s going to be a shock for him. When the time is right you’ll know. I should go babe. I get a bit nervous making private calls from work, even though I’m paying for this.”

Cory hated this part of the conversation, “Thanks for being here, J. You’ve made me feel better. I promise if I need you tomorrow, I’ll call your mobile. Even if it’s just to hear your voice.”

“I promise to charge the cell, and leave it on all night and day. I love you Cory. Picture me holding you tight, and kissing your forehead. Plus the underwear that was way too tight!”

“I love you too. I promise I’ll call. Have a good evening, don’t get up to mischief.”

JJ laughed, “Me? Get up to mischief? Never! I miss you babe. Bye.”

“Bye babe! I miss you too.”

After the phone call, JJ paced around the computer lab. She had another hour of work, then she was leaving early. She’d had a call from Sarah, and they’d agreed to meet up at a neutral venue to discuss the details of the house. JJ hadn’t heard from Sarah since the weekend, and then Sarah had called. She hadn’t told Cory of the meeting, as she felt Cory had enough to worry about. Plus, if things went well with Sarah, she hoped she had nothing to worry about. Helen was coming over for pizza later. Jo was still on the road, and both women were missing their girls.

JJ pulled the truck into a clear parking space. The afternoon had dragged. She’d made it worse by staring at her watch every ten minutes, and wondering what Cory was doing. The separation was driving her crazy, and it had only been five days! Still the news about Easter had made her day. She’d sent an email to her boss asking for the rest of her vacation time, and had decided it was best to take the first week off. She just needed to check with Cory on when she was returning. She had a few personal days, so she figured she could use one of those if Cory was leaving on a workday.

She saw Sarah’s SUV as she walked towards the mall. JJ had chosen the mall as a meeting point. It was halfway between work and home. She also hoped that Sarah would control her temper better in a public place. She walked through the first section of the mall, towards the food court. She saw Sarah sitting at a table for two. JJ noticed she already had food in front of her. That was typical of Sarah, thinking of herself before others.

After buying two chicken tacos for herself, she wandered over to Sarah. She was nervous. She had no idea what was going on in Sarah’s head. “Hey,” she muttered as she approached the table.

“Hi. I’d have gotten you some food, but I didn’t know what your tastes were these days.” Sarah gave a fake smile.

JJ hadn’t missed the double meaning behind the words. “Let’s cut the crap Sarah, and get down to the real reason why we’re here.”

“I’m sorry. Can we at least be civil?”

“Hey, you started this. You were the one who broke up with me. You were the one who moved out of the house. You were the one who took all the furniture. And, you were the one who started with the snide comments.” JJ could feel her blood boiling.

“Well, you were the one having an affair.” Sarah shot back.

JJ shook her head, “For the last time Sarah, I was not having an affair. Cory and I didn’t get together until we’d split up.”

“So you admit that you are seeing her. It wasn’t all in my head, was it?” Sarah asked.

JJ could see the hurt in her ex’s eyes. There was some truth to her words. “Yes, I’m seeing her. I swear nothing happened until the end of the week.”

“But you wanted it to happen before then, didn’t you?” Sarah needed to know the truth.

JJ shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe. Anyway, what’s with you and this Chris? Don’t act all innocent.”

“She’s a friend from work.”

“Just a friend? She seemed more than that on Sunday.”

Sarah looked at JJ. She couldn’t believe she was sitting opposite her old girlfriend. Two weeks ago they’d been a couple, and now they could barely tolerate each other. “I’ve known for a few months that Chris liked me. She’s been there for me this past month while you’ve been playing around with your Internet buddy. I went to see her last Sunday morning after you left, and she offered me a place to stay.”

“And a bed to lie in, I bet!” JJ was actually pleased Sarah had found someone, it made her life less complicated. On the plane over, she’d been worried about how Sarah was going to cope with all the changes. But it looked like she’d landed on her feet.

Sarah chose to ignore the comment. “About the house, I’ve decided we should sell it.”

“You’ve decided this. What about what I want?”

“Well, you could buy me out. But I want at least fifteen thousand.”

JJ nearly choked on her coke. “You want how much? I put down the deposit on that house, and paid for the furniture. Now you’re asking for fifteen? You must be joking!”

“On the mortgage, we’re equal partners, JJ. That means an equal share of the profits. And the house has made at least thirty thousand in profit. If you want my share, then that’s how much I want.”

“No way. I may have been an idiot when it comes to letting you have the furniture, but there’s no way I’m giving you that much money. That profit is the maximum amount we’d get and you know it. I’d rather put it up for sale. I might be moving anyways.” JJ had no idea what her future held, but there was no way she’d give Sarah anymore than she had to.

“To England? You’re that serious about her?” Sarah shook her head.

“Yep. If I can get a job over there, I’d move in a heartbeat!”

“And what does her husband think about this little charade?”

JJ didn’t answer her. There was no way she was going to tell Sarah about Sam and Cory.

Sarah knew she’d hit a raw nerve. The twitch in JJ’s cheek gave it away. “He doesn’t know yet, does he? Oh my, now what if a little birdy told him.”

JJ looked up, her body shaking with anger. “If you did that, it’d be the last thing you ever did. I mean it Sarah! She has enough on her plate. For god’s sake, her grandfather just died. Sarah, don’t make me hate you. Just because we’re over doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“You do?”

“Sarah, just because I fell in love with someone else doesn’t mean I don’t care for you. I do. I always will care for you. Please, let’s leave Cory out of this. I didn’t mean to get angry. I just miss her so much, and want desperately to be there for her.”

Sarah saw the tears in JJ’s eyes. In all the years they’d been together, she’d never seen her cry. “You really love her, don’t you?” Even through all her pain she couldn’t forget how much she cared for the tall woman in front of her.

JJ nodded, “Yes.”

“You never really loved me did you?” Sarah had known deep in her heart that she’d been second best, but JJ had appeared to care, and they’d had some good times.

“What do you want me to say? Yes I loved you. How deep I never knew, until I met Cory. It’s different. I’m different. It doesn’t mean what we had was nothing. So the house, do we put it up for sale?”

Sarah nodded, “I guess so. I’ll call the real estate agent tomorrow.”

By the time JJ got to the house, Helen had already arrived. “I’m sorry, Sarah was a handful. I’ve got the pizza. I hope you’ve got the beer. I need some serious down time. So, how was your day? It has to have been ten times better than mine!” JJ joked with Helen as they headed for the door.

Part 25

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