Chapter 9

The week flew by for Cory; she’d been in charge of organising the cross-country meeting at her school so the few spare moments she had gone into making sure there wouldn’t be any problems. She’d mailed JJ frequently, they’d kept the mails light hearted, neither of them seeming to know how to explain the attraction they felt for each other. Cory hadn’t expanded on her ideas about the connection, she figured she’d answer it properly if JJ asked again as she wasn’t sure how to explain it to herself let alone someone else.

She was looking forward to her birthday; she’d be 29, one year away from another milestone birthday. Her diary for the next few days was hectic, she was having a meal with Sam and neighbours on her special day, going for a meal with the work girls on the Friday and then going out on the town with the other neighbours on the Saturday. She liked going out to restaurants but the thought of not being able to mail JJ was worrying her, she’d become addicted to JJ’s mails, she was like a drug which Cory didn’t want to give up. Could she survive three days of minimal contact? She was about to find out.

It was Wednesday night, the cross country had been a resounding success and it was the eve of her big day, she’d got her work load done and was taking a very well earned rest in front of the television. She had things on her mind, well JJ, she’d received her first photo of JJ and it had been a pleasant surprise but she hadn’t expected the jolt of familiarity when she’d looked into the bright, sapphire eyes that had smiled at her. They were the same eyes that were in her dreams and they were beautiful. The only word she could think of when she looked at JJ was gorgeous, she was 100% woman and Cory had been very aware of the arousal that had shot through her body. She desperately needed someone to confide in.

She was about to reply to JJ’s mail and was trying to figure out if she should mention her feelings for JJ, a problem shared was a problem halved in her book. I mean if they were soulmates of the non-romantic persuasion than that would explain the familiarity she felt for JJ. The chances of them ever meeting was slim and if she just told JJ she had these feelings then they might just disappear. It sounded good in theory especially as both of them were committed to others.

She downloaded her mail to find one waiting there from JJ.

JJ Matthews Pre Birthday Mail

Okay I know it’s technically your turn to mail but I’ve nothing going on over here and I figured I could annoy you!!

So what did you think of little ole me? Okay not so little as I’m bordering on 6ft but you can’t really tell from the picture. I know it’s long overdue but I had problems connecting the scanner whilst the office was being refurbished. The scanner is now fitting in very nicely in my new office furniture so expect plenty more piccies where those came from.

Well I put myself on no mail from the list, to quote my new UK friend; a certain somebody a thousand or so miles away has my undivided attention. So between taking 45 minutes to reread her emails and trying to make sure I answer them there was no time for the list. Do you know who the person might be!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I am not concentrating that great lately. All I am doing is deleting them. Could you forward any updates? I know there is a list that I can join to get the updates.

I know you’re going to be very busy over the next few evenings so your mailing time will be less but I have a few questions for you!! Well it’ll keep you occupied for a few minutes anyways!

What would be a great date?

I’d have to say mine is a dinner then a movie, I don't like smoke (do you smoke?) so I usually stay away from bars. After the movie we’d come home, play slow music, slow dance in the middle of the living room--- then slowly make our way to the bedroom and.... take it from there…

How would you spend lazy Sunday afternoon?

Well mine would be, especially if snowing: stay in bed, make love all day only get up to go the bathroom and get something to eat!!!! (Someday I will get that dream.)

What country or countries would you visit that you have not been to:

New Zealand, Australia and of course the U.K.

And finally………. Do you think someone can be in love with 2 people?

Well enjoy your last evening of being 28!! Think of it this way I’ll always be 4 years older than you!!

Your friend

JJ

Cory sat pondering the last question very carefully. Could you be in love with two people? No was the answer that sprang to mind. It seemed a very serious question to add to the end of a mail. She wondered if JJ had met someone and wanted her friend’s opinion. She couldn’t help noticing a pang of jealousy wash over her.

Cory Williams Re: Prebirthday mail

JJ,

The cross country went well, a huge success and the other schools gave positive comments so I got lots of praise off the boss so I’m the ‘blue-eyed’ girl at the moment. Never hurts to keep the boss sweet!

I will answer the questions in reverse order. Can you be in love with 2 people at the same time – my answer would be no – here’s why: You can love many people in many different ways at the same time but can only be IN love with one. That person holds your entire heart and if you were in love with 2 people it wouldn’t be proper love. I think you can fall in love with someone new but at the same time you’d be falling out of love with the other person. Plus to be in love with two people would mean cheating on both of them. Just my opinion feel free to ignore it.

As for my perfect date I liked what you wrote – that would be my perfect date too. See we are so in tune with each other, probably why we get on so well. I have to add that my date would also involve strawberries and melted chocolate!! Now where did that image come from?? Vbg

JJ I’m not going to be around much the next three nights but how about meeting up for an online chat next week?

Oh yeah I almost forgot I’m off to Angela’s next weekend – we always meet up at holiday times, as we can stay longer. I think I’m going to tell her about Deb. I then have a week off, it’s a pity you can’t come and visit! I have nothing to do that week!! I can but dream that one day we’ll meet up!

Well I’d better be going as I’m not getting any younger! vbg

Your kindred spirit

Cory

Ps: I hope you don’t mind me saying you are very good looking! If it wasn’t for Sam and Sarah I’d be knocking at your door!! vbeg

Cory read the postscript, well it was true wasn’t it, she did think JJ was attractive and who knows in a different time or place JJ and her could have been together. Well the ball was in JJ’s court now; she’d see how she replied to that mail.

************************************************************************

Cory blinked her eyes open, there was a lovely aroma tempting her out of her deep sleep. She wiped the remnants of drool away from the corner of her mouth and looked to her bedside table, there was a card and a mug of coffee.

Then she remembered it was her birthday, she smiled and opened the card off Sam,

Cor,

Happy Birthday

Love

Sam

Well it wasn’t exactly gushing with sentiment but the thought was there. As if on cue Sam entered the bedroom his hands holding a tray and cards tucked under his arm.

“Happy birthday sleepy head! Hope you slept well. The post arrived early – makes a nice change at least you get to open your cards before work. Oh yeah there was a parcel from America as well. The postman was trying to shove it through the letterbox so I rescued it off him. It’s off your mate JJ, well I’ll leave you to open it and use the shower first.”

He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared into his bathroom. Cory flicked through the cards recognizing the senders by their handwriting and postmark. She picked up the parcel; the handwriting was clear and bold. She tore the tape and open the manila envelope, inside were two wrapped presents and a card. She carefully opened the card, it read:

To Cory

Hope you have a very happy birthday, thinking of you and I hope you like the presents – the CD is a ‘Cory Special’ and the t’ shirt is in my size as I didn’t know what would fit. It’s from the place I work.

Take care – with love

JJ

The handwriting was neat and carefully written, she smiled and reread the last line ‘with love’ she felt her heart miss a beat, the sentiment that Sam had written hadn’t had the same affect as when JJ had written it. She opened the small package, inside was a home made CD entitled ‘Cory’s Birthday Mix’, she scanned the contents and found there were many artists who she liked but songs she’d never heard of. She felt her smile turn into a grin when she realised that JJ had listened to her plea to hear more of Melissa Etheridge and the Indigo Girls, she looked at the titles of the songs:

Season’s Change Expose

Count On Me Whitney Houston and CeCe Winin

I take You With Me Melissa Etheridge

Power of Two Indigo Girls

Love Will Lead You Back Taylor Dayne

Good Night Girl Wet Wet Wet

Dreaming of You Selena

You’re Not Alone Amy Grant

One Sweet Day Mariah Carey/Boyz to Men

The Power Amy Grant

Through the Fire Chaka Khan

This Used to be my Playground Madonna

I Still Believe Mariah Carey

I’m The only One Melissa Etheridge

You Are the Reason Celine Dion & Carole King

Each title seemed to hold a meaning to Cory, she slipped from the covers and switched on the stereo, as she did so she noticed the time, if she didn’t get a move on she’d be late for school. She decided she’d listen to it whilst getting ready, she quickly opened the other present it was a purple t-shirt, she tried it on it was big, JJ was definitely a tall woman and bigger than her in many ways. She decided that she’d use it for a nightshirt; she hugged the shirt to her it had a fresh new smell but a trace of a familiar scent. Her mind was jolted out of its daydream when she heard Sam shout her from the hallway to get a move on.

She walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower whilst waiting for the water to warm up she listened to the first song and the words echoed in her mind

She knew that she felt something more than friendship for JJ and that in itself made her feel guilty because of Sam but did JJ feel the same. Was the CD a sign of unspoken words from JJ? The last song was one of her favourite songs but it was definitely laden with messages. Cory washed the soap out of her eyes and shook her head, ‘You're dreaming Cory, she just sent you a CD of your favourites with some of hers thrown in!’ She repeated this to herself a few times and continued to wash away the night’s sleep.

She quickly dried her hair with the dryer and then set about finding some clean and ironed clothes, there were plenty of clean clothes as doing the laundry was Sam ‘s job, the ironing was Cory’s and she was way behind in this chore. She finally found a pair of black trousers and as she slid them on her mind traveled to the lyrics of the current song playing,

‘Wonder if you’ll ever see me

And I wonder if you know I’m there.

If you looked in my eyes would you see

What’s inside would you even care.

I just want to hold you close

So far all I have are dreams of you

So I wait for the day and the courage

To say I love you …………….’

She needed to talk to JJ but what did she say, their friendship was special and she knew she liked JJ but there was nothing that neither of them could do, they lived 3000 miles apart, it was just her imagination playing up. She was lonely and she was reading more into this than there was.

She went into the office, Sam was on the computer, and he looked up, “So what did you get?”

“A CD of my favourite singers but some are songs I haven’t heard of and a few of JJ’s favourites and a t-shirt.”

“You’re not sulking because I haven’t given you a present are you?” Sam asked.

“No way, the deal was you got me a laptop for Christmas and it would be a joint present. I’m not sulking honest.”

“Well it’s a good job I know you well, look in the drawer over there.”

Cory went to the drawer and opened it, inside was a present. She opened the wrapping paper and inside were 2 more CDs, the latest Shania Twain and Texas. “Sam you didn’t have to.. we made a deal but thanks I’ve been wanting these for ages.”

She gave him a hug, and then pulled him up out of the chair, “Come on I have to get to work, the world won’t stop because I have a birthday!”

He grinned at her and followed her out of the room.

Work had been good, she’d received gifts off Rachel and some others and they’d all promised to keep her glass filled the following evening. The kids had all sung to her and then spent the day guessing her age. She’d enjoyed the day immensely and the evening would be nice but her priority was to thank JJ. She’d spent time at lunch thinking about her feelings and decided that it was just a crush, she wasn’t having an easy time with Sam and JJ was having the same problems so they were enjoying each others company that wasn’t a crime and she didn’t want to read too much into things, she decided she’d follow JJ’s lead and see what JJ had said to her mail the previous evening. She would tell JJ she felt a connection, as that was something she couldn’t deny, she did feel connected to JJ in a strange way she felt like she’d known her forever and a day.

Jean had dropped her off from work; Sam had had to go to a meeting. He’d rung her at work and she’d thanked him for the flowers, the ladies at work were always jealous of Cory’s bouquet of flowers and when Sam had sent them the first time she’d thought it very romantic now she thought Sam just did it out of habit and always commented on how mad she’d be if he didn’t.

She made her way to the office and started the download procedure up, whilst waiting she went into the bedroom to pick out her evening clothes. She decided on her jeans and a jumper she’d received for Christmas off her sister, she searched through her underwear drawer for the appropriate bra and pants and then returned to the office.

Once in the office she noticed her inbox was full with quite a few messages personally for her, she glanced down and found the all to familiar name:

# JJ Matthews Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Cory!!!

I take it from the missing mail this morning that you were a very busy girl opening tons of presents. Did you get anything special in the post?

My day has only really just begun but I’m hoping yours was stress free!

Thank you for the compliment about my looks – it was a good ego boost! You’re very good looking yourself so we’d make a good pair was it not for our respective partners!! vbg

So I’m making this short, as I know you’re a very busy person the next few days. As it happens coincidentally my hockey team has got an away match so I’ll be busy too. I’ll mail later and tell you how the match went!

Enjoy yourself tonight; think of me skating my socks off,

Love

JJ

It was the closing sentiment that Cory noticed, it was the first mail off JJ that had been sent with love as the parting gesture and it made Cory feel very warm inside, she felt like she was on a cloud. This wasn’t helping her resolve but if JJ wasn’t going to say anything then neither was she. If they were meant to be time would tell.

The evening went smoothly, the meal was wonderful and the company was stimulating to Cory’s intellectual needs. She’d had a good day and the following nights were going to be along the same lines, her last waking thought was that she wished JJ could have been a part of them.

The evening out with her work colleagues had been very relaxing and fun, she was the youngest and they all took great care of her, she enjoyed their company and she was just getting ready to go out with Doug and Nick from next door. Her sister Kerry had readily agreed to come out and she was looking forward to seeing her sister again, they hadn’t met up since Christmas as Kerry’s job took her abroad a lot.

They went next door at 7pm and had Cory had a glass of Guinness and the plans for the evening were laid out, they were catching a mini bus into town and then going to a popular pub and then an Indian restaurant. Cory wished she’d eaten slightly more than she had when she realised they were going to the pub first, still so long as she paced herself she’d be fine.

Her sister and brother in law, Pete, turned up only 10 minutes later than scheduled – this was a miracle, as Kerry was never known for her time keeping. They loaded the bus up and headed into town.

They’d been in the pub for two hours and the alcohol was flowing freely, she found she had a lot in common with both Doug and Nicki, her sister filled her in on all the countries she’d visited lately and Cory found herself feeling very relaxed and happy, her eyes rested on Sam who found socializing difficult but he seemed to be having a heart to heart with Pete, he was swaying slightly and looked a bit worse for wear, she wished she was a fly on the wall and could hear what Sam had to say, it might have given her a little insight into her husbands mind.

She sidled over to him, “How you doing?”

“Fine Pete and I were just discussing football and stuff. I’m starving do you think we could go to the restaurant if we don’t eat now I’m going to regret it!”

Cory went over and suggested to Doug that they moved the celebrations to the restaurant, she was feeling rather drunk herself and food would certainly help her dizzy head.

The restaurant was quite quiet and they were seated quickly, they placed their orders with out too much delay they were all seasoned Indian eaters and everyone seemed to have their own curry preference, Cory noticed that Sam had disappeared, she looked at Pete and he said he’d go and search him out, probably held up in the gents.

Ten minutes later Pete arrived back, he’d found Sam feeling poorly and had walked him out the front of the restaurant, he’d given his apologies and had decided to walk himself home, no goodbye or hope you’re okay to Cory, she felt abandoned and let down.

She chewed her lip as Pete told her what Sam had said, there were tears glistening in her eyes but there was no way she was going to cry in front of the others, she just couldn’t believe Sam had left her in town, he’d never done that before and it was supposed to be her birthday celebration.

“Hey you okay Cory? Kerry asked as she put her arm around her baby sister.

“Yeah just a bit tipsy I guess. I’m worried about Sam.”

“He’s a big boy Cory he’ll be okay. I have to say I’m a bit surprised you two are usually inseparable but you’ve hardly said two words to each other tonight. You had a row?”

“No I guess the pressures of work and stuff are just getting to us.” There was no way Cory was going to discuss her intimate relations with her sister.

The night had turned from a good evening to the worst Cory had had in a while, she just wanted to go home and cry, she just needed to talk to someone, she just needed JJ. There she’d admitted it. She needed contact with JJ.

When they’d finally paid the bill it was coming up to midnight, the mini bus came to collect them and dropped them off, they all had a good hug of each other at the front door and then Pete, Doug and Cory crept upstairs to check on Sam, he looked so sweet lying there in bed. They decided to let him sleep it off.

Cory thanked the guys for looking after her and promised they’d do it again son, she took off her clothes and put on the t-shirt JJ had sent her. She sank down on the office floor against the warm radiator and cried her heart out, she cried for her lost love with Sam and she cried for the new exciting feelings she felt for JJ. Feelings that she’d never get a chance to explore because of the ocean between them and the fact that as far as JJ was concerned Cory was just a friend. She cried for the situation to finally meet someone who had the same likes, dislikes, who understood all she was and all she wanted to be and she’d maybe only ever meet this person once or twice in her life.

She opened up Outlook and pressed receive all. It took a few minutes but the download began, she felt even more alone when she realised there was no mail off JJ. She panicked, had she scared her off with her comments about the presents, then she remembered JJ was out of town and with the time difference she’d not get a mail until morning.

She opened up a mail and decided to pour out her feelings and take a chance.

Cory Williams Depressed Person

Hi JJ

What a crap evening I’ve had, it started out really good but disintegrated into a mess. Sam got drunk and abandoned me in town, well left me on my own with the others, no goodbye or anything.

I feel so lonely, I know I have to face up to the fact that maybe my marriage is not the fairy tale romance I dreamed of but that’s hard to do.

JJ you asked the other week if I felt a connection and yes I do, I feel like I’ve known you forever and the songs you sent hit home in so many ways. I just think that in another time or place maybe we were meant to be together. I know you and Sarah are together and Sam and I are so it makes it impossible for us to try but I like you a lot.

Anyway I just wanted you to know your friendship means the world to me. I’m off to sleep off my alcoholic state.

All my love Cory

She found her way to the spare room where she lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, she knew she’d regret her actions in the morning but for now she just wanted to dream about another time and another love.

Her eyes slowly opened she could smell the morning dew on the grass all around her. She snuggled up, the arms that were wrapped around her were strong and they made her feel secure, she pulled closer at the body and felt the warmth transfer from theirs to hers. She could feel the muscle against her softer body. Her hands began a bold wander up the strong back and she felt the muscle ripple and then a giggle, her head lifted and she looked straight into the azure gaze of the woman she loved……….

Cory opened her eyes, she was covered in sweat and there was a heat pulsing through her straight to her core. She was so turned on she was throbbing, she’d never felt like this before, never with Jon or Sam, her legs were trembling and as she shifted under the cover she felt the moisture that had gathered between her legs. Cory closed her eyes, she’d never felt the urge before but she knew she’d have to take care of her own needs, the images in her mind were strong and clear… blue eyes, black hair and a lazy smile. Her hands began to wander over her breasts and one settled between her legs, the pool of moisture was warm and as her fingers dipped into it she felt her body tingle. Her fingers slowly caressed the swollen bud that was the center of her soul, she moved her fingers slowly all the while her mind was playing over the events of the past few months and as she fell closer and closer to edge of her desire one name kept repeating itself over and over again JJ, JJ, JJ. Her muffled cries of passion were soon taken over by gentle sobs as she realised that she’d fallen in love with someone she could never have.

It took Cory a while to surface the next morning, she just wanted to hide under the covers forever, her mind was replaying the last 24 hours, and she had many reasons to hide:

1) She didn’t want to confront Sam

2) She was embarrassed that she’d sought comfort at her own hands

3) She’d remembered her mail to JJ and the words she’d written she’d practically spilled her love out to JJ.

She curled up into a ball and felt the tears sting the back of her eyes, she refused to cry anymore. There was a tentative knock at the door and Sam poked his head around the door, “You talking to me?”

“No go away but leave the tea on the counter and get me some headache tablets as you go, they’re in the bathroom.” She knew she should be angry with him but it wasn’t his entire fault and he had made the first move.

He sat on the side of the bed, “Cory I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mixed my drinks and I felt sick and just knew I needed a bed. I guess I should have said goodbye to you first.”

“It’s okay Sam I’m not mad.”

“Why’d you sleep in the spare bed then?”

“You were so fast asleep and well you snore like a wart hog, so i decided if i was going to get any sleep I’d be better off in here.” He leant in to kiss her but she turned her head.

“Hey you are mad!”

“No just tired and you smell of beer. Sam I just need some time on my own today.” She looked at him and could see that he was trying to keep his feelings hidden. “I promise I’m not mad, a bit unhappy but not mad we’ll talk later okay?”

“I’m off to the driving range then, I’ll see you later okay?”

“Enjoy yourself, I think I’ll have a bath and then a play on the laptop.” He leaned in and pecked her on the cheek.

Cory looked at the ceiling, how did she really feel about Sam, about JJ, about her life? She had no idea.

She slowly got out of bed her head was spinning and her stomach was threatening to rebel, she made her way to the bathroom. One glance in the mirror confirmed her suspicions she looked as awful as she felt, her eyes were swollen from crying and her hair disheveled from her restless sleep. She crawled into the shower and let the water drip down her back and over her head.

Part 10

Mail Jules

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