The day looked like it was going to be a cold, bleak one. Cory pulled back from the window and drew the curtains closed. At least the weather matched the occasion and her mood. She picked up her black suit trousers off the bed and began to put them on. She tucked the cream blouse in and looked in the mirror. She pulled the blouse out and tried to decide which looked better.
“Tuck it in, it shows off your figure better.” Sam put the cup of tea on the dressing table.
“I don’t know why I’m fussing. It’s not like anyone is going to be focusing on my appearance.” She tucked the blouse back in and picked up the matching suit jacket. “The last time I wore this jacket was when Nan died.” She felt inside the pockets and pulled out some used tissues. “I guess I should make sure I have plenty of these.” She placed the old tissues in the wicker rubbish bin. She remembered back to her grandmother’s funeral. She’d cried so many tears that day but she’d also been supportive of her grandfather and had tried to be brave for him. She wasn’t sure she was going to get through the day but she’d made a resolve, no tears. Her grandfather wouldn’t have wanted her to cry. The problem was she was having trouble communicating this resolve to her tear ducts. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked back the tears.
Sam sensed Cory was having difficulty with her emotions. She wore her heart on her sleeve and was an emotional person. She cried when she was happy, she cried when she was sad, she cried when she was angry too. Sam knew this was something Cory hated about herself. There had been times at work when Cory had been misunderstood because of her tears. He remembered a time when she’d come out of school furious with herself because she’d been so angry. Her boss had given her a talk about handling pressure and not letting things affect her rather than listening to her properly. He placed a hand on her back.
“I’ve got some tissues, and Cory you look nice. Fred would have been very proud of you. I didn’t make you any toast, I wasn’t sure if you’d feel like it. Your mum said there would be breakfast at your grandfather’s house.” Sam put his tie on and checked his pockets for money. “We’ll have to leave in about fifteen minutes. The traffic on the motorway could be busy this time of the morning. There’s some mail for you downstairs. A few cards I think.”
Cory nodded, she didn’t feel very talkative but she knew Sam was trying to be helpful. “Thanks, I’ll go and open them. Is everything sorted out at work?”
“I called in and my schedule is clear until Monday. Brenda said she’d divert all my calls, I’ve put it on vibrate just in case. I have a feeling the McPherson deal is going to go pear shaped and I did ask her to call should that happen. I’m sorry Cory I did try to clear the decks.”
“Hey don’t worry, the world doesn’t stop because my granddad died.” Cory knew as the words flew out of her mouth that she’d been harsh. She hadn’t meant the comment to be aimed directly at Sam. She knew she’d hurt him. “I’m sorry Sam, that wasn’t aimed at you. I just meant I understand about work. I know this is a crucial time for you. I appreciate that you’ve worked hard this week.”
“I miss him too Cory. He was like my own grandfather. I’m going to miss the old man. Don’t forget your cup of tea, I’m going to check if the fax machine is set up on the computer.”
He needed to get out of the room. He hadn’t cried in front of anybody since his mother walked out on his father when he’d been thirteen. He’d vowed then that no one would see him cry or hurt him like his mother had hurt his father. He’d seen his father cry night after night. It had made Sam feel nothing but pity for the man he once worshipped. Sam had been brought up in a private school and in those days in Wales, men were men. They didn’t show emotion and they took control. His father had broken all the rules Sam had held dear to him. The after effects of the divorce had profoundly affected Sam. He’d never trusted his mother since then. She had taken everything his father had ever worked at and left him with nothing but a broken heart. It had been two years since he’d last seen his mother and that had only been because of Cory’s insistence that he tell his mother they were getting married.
The visit had been brief, his mother had looked ill but Sam could only see the bitter woman that had dragged his father down. Cory had invited the woman to the wedding. Fortunately, she’d been feeling too poorly to attend which had solved the problem of how to keep his mother and father apart. He hadn’t seen her since and really had no intention of ever wanting to. He knew Cory didn’t understand but that was the way he liked it and he was in charge.
Cory flicked through the mail. There were several cards from her work friends. Ange had sent a nice, thoughtful one. She’d called Cory on Tuesday to check if JJ had enjoyed her visit and Cory had explained about the death. Ange had met Fred a few times and had sent her condolences and thoughts. Cory hadn’t had chance to talk to Ange about JJ, as Sam had been home, but she had told Ange she would call the following week.
Sam went into the kitchen. He patted Holly and put some biscuits in a bowl. Holly was going to spend the day at the house but the neighbour had promised to walk her at lunch and dinnertime. He closed the kitchen door and walked into the lounge. “Come on Cory we need to hit the road.” He passed Cory’s coat to her. “You might need this they think it could rain. Who sent the cards?”
“Marj, Rachel and Ange. It was a nice thought. Marj and Rachel could have saved themselves a stamp and given them to me yesterday.”
“Well you know some people don’t know what to say and a card says it so much better when they can’t be with you at the time.” Sam closed the front door and locked it.
“You’re right. I guess I never really thought about it.”
The forty-minute drive was done in silence. Cory had closed her eyes. She didn’t want to talk, so she’d hoped to give the impression she was sleeping. She’d just zoned out and listened to the songs on the radio.
Her grandfather’s house was in an enclosed close. The close was circular in shape and had about fifty semi-detached houses in it. Sam drove slowly round the huge oval shaped grass that was the center attraction. Cory had grown up playing on the field, commonly called ‘the green’. It had been a safe place to play as all the houses looked onto it, and the close only had one entrance/exit. They parked on the green, next to other cars that belonged to the family. The road in front of the house had been left clear for the hearse and other funeral cars.
Cory walked into the kitchen area. Her mum was making breakfast and handing out juice. “Hey mum. Do you want me to do anything?”
Her mum shook her head, “No honey. Your granddad wanted everyone to have a good breakfast and a drink on him.”
“At 8.30 in the morning?” Cory smiled. That was way too early for anybody to be drinking alcohol.
“I have croissants, egg, sausage and bacon. Just help yourself, it’s going to be a long morning and the wake isn’t until noon.”
“Sam might have a bit but my stomach doesn’t feel too good. I’ll just have some juice.” She poured a glass of orange juice and walked out into the summerhouse that was attached to the back of the kitchen. Her cousin, Sylvia, was standing looking at the garden.
“It’s the end of an era I guess.” Cory stated.
“It’s hard to believe they’re both gone. I keep thinking of all the years I’ve spent in this garden. I’m forty next week, can you believe it?” Sylvia sat in the wicker chair.
“I never knew there were that many years between us. The house goes up for sale next month. Mum said granddad wanted the money to be split by all his children. It’s going to be strange to never come here again.” She knew she was rambling but she couldn’t stop. She picked up one of the remembrance cards. The picture on the front was the one her mum had shown her earlier in the week. She turned it over and her breath caught in her throat. There was her granddad, smiling back at her. Had it really been less than a week since she’d seen his smile? She closed her eyes and summoned up the strength she needed to quell the tears. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with JJ the previous night. ‘My girl wore pants that were too small for her! My girl wore pants that were too small for her.’ She smiled, she would have loved to have been there to see JJ’s face when she’d realised what she was wearing.
“The picture looks good doesn’t it?” Sylvia had tears in her eyes too. “Where was it taken?”
Cory was brought back to the present, “My wedding.”
“God, Cory, where does the time go? I think the last time I saw you, we were here but it was Nan’s funeral. How come we only ever meet at weddings and funerals?”
“Well we both have busy schedules. So how’s London?” Her cousin was an artist and designer who lived in London.
“I’m moving back home. The job didn’t work out for me. Mum and dad have offered to put me up while I look for another job. Plus dad’s been unwell and I think mum might need me around a bit more. So how was the wedding? I’m sorry I missed it. Mum said it was fun. I have to say I never pictured you getting married. You never seemed the type.”
Cory hadn’t expected that comment. “The wedding was good. What do you mean you never expected me to marry?”
“I don’t know just a gut reaction. I remember you were always more into football and playing with the boys than romancing them. Still that was a long time ago, things change.”
Cory didn’t have an opportunity to continue the conversation as Kerry walked into the summerhouse crying.
“Hey Kerry, come on dry the tears.” Cory hugged her sister. She couldn’t stop the tears coming. She’d been holding it all in until she’d seen Kerry’s face.
“I wasn’t crying until I saw the photo on the back of the card. I’m okay, really I am.” Both sisters wiped their eyes. “Mum seems to be handling things okay.”
“That’s because she has a mission. If she stops playing host it’ll hit her. Wait until later on when she’s alone or has nothing to do. I hope dad’s prepared.” Cory passed Kerry an extra tissue.
Cory moved from room to room. She managed to avoid her Uncle Keith. She had no intention of being trapped talking to the guy. Now was not a time to lose her temper and her uncle seemed to know what buttons to push on her without trying. She glanced out of the window. Sam was leaning on his car talking to her brother in law, Pete. Mike was talking to her father.
Cory had been upset earlier in the week when her mother had said that her Uncle Tony and her brother would read the eulogy. Cory had felt that she should have been the person to write and say things about her granddad not Mike. Mike hadn’t had the same relationship with her grandfather as she had. Mike had really only gone to visit when he’d wanted something. She’d refused to help Mike when her mother had said he needed memories of her granddad. As far as Cory had been concerned if Mike couldn’t recall some of his own then he shouldn’t do the job. Only when her mother had stated the fact that Cory wouldn’t be able to hold her emotions together to do the speech did she agree. She also pointed out that Mike was talking for all the grandchildren and thus he needed memories from everyone.
She continued to stare out the window, remembering the good times and the bad. Nearly three decades had been spent in this house. She saw the hearse enter the close. Walking in front of the car was a man dressed in top hat and tails. On the front garden stood her mother with her three brothers and two sisters. Her Aunt Eileen had flown in from Oregon the previous day. Each sibling had a champagne glass and as the hearse stopped in front of the house, her Uncle Tony released the champagne cork. He poured a small amount in each glass and collectively they clinked glasses and toasted their father. It had been something Fred had done to his wife when she’d died and now the children were carrying out his wishes.
Cory walked out onto the front garden and looked at the simple floral display on the coffin. She couldn’t believe her grandfather was lying in that box. They had been asked not to bring bunches of flowers. Instead each child and grandchild had a red rose to place on the coffin. It had been the same at her Nan’s funeral but Cory hadn’t wanted to give a rose. She knew that carnations had been her Nan’s favourite flower. Cory had chosen a yellow carnation it didn’t matter that it was different from the others. On her Nan’s birthday and anniversary she placed a single carnation under the tree where her ashes were scattered. She’d chosen a single yellow carnation for her grandfather too. She stood next to Kerry and looked down. Kerry was also holding a yellow carnation.
“I liked your idea of the carnation Cory. You don’t mind me copying you?” Cory shook her head and held her sister’s hand.
They walked to the car. Sam was going to follow in their car. The funeral cars would only take them to the crematorium. From there they needed their own transport. Cory had never been in a funeral car. The seats were leather and it was very spacious. Kerry got in first and Cory followed. She looked at the seat opposite her and smiled at her younger cousin. No words were needed to convey their feelings. All Cory could feel was a tremendous ache in her heart and a pain in her throat. She closed her eyes and summoned up the happiest thoughts. Each one settled on JJ.
The tears began as Cory walked into the Crematorium. The music playing was Tina Turner’s ‘Simply The Best’. Even through the tears Cory had to smile. Only her granddad would pick this song. She had definitely inherited her ego from him. Sam had met her outside and was now holding her hand as they walked down the centre aisle. They sat in the second row of pews. Cory’s eyes never left the coffin. Her resolve was gone and she couldn’t control the tears. The pain inside was ripping her apart and the words from the song swam around inside her head. Her granddad had been the best. She missed him so much.
Her Uncle Tony began the eulogy. Cory began giggling as her Uncle told story after story of her grandfather’s life. Some of the stories she knew well; others were new to her. She listened as he recalled how Fred had loved greyhounds and had visited the local races every week for 72 years. He’d been a small eight-year-old boy when he’d first gone there. He’d done odd jobs for the bookies and had slowly worked his way up in the ranks. Her uncle continued talking about Fred joining the Navy and seeing the world. According to Fred’s brother, Albert, his brother’s greatest wish after the war had been to breed greyhounds and race them. But he’d never achieved that dream instead he’d met Cory’s grandmother and fallen in love. Even though she had three children from a previous marriage, he had given up his dream and taken a job at the local car factory. He had provided a home and support for his new wife, her three children and the three others that would come along.
“The one piece of advice Fred had for all his kin was to follow your heart as they turn into your dreams. He never regretted the life he gave up because he found the one person who meant the world to him. They may have fought like cat and dog and we all witnessed those fights. Deep down they had a love that lasted fifty years. So I’ll end it here and pass it over to Mike to give you the memories that his many grandchildren had of him. Just remember follow your heart.”
The clapping of hands brought Cory out of her thoughts. She wiped her eyes. Her brother began his speech. He looked nervous and half way through he began to cry. Cory wanted to go and give him a hug. Her admiration for her brother was growing with each utterance. He was no longer the little boy that had told tales on her. He was a man doing a sterling job to keep his emotions in check.
As Mike finished speaking it was time for the vicar to say a few words. He then invited the family to put their flowers on the casket. As her mother stood up the tones of Frank Sinitra echoed through the room.
And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain,
My friend. I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.
I've lived a live that's full.
I travelled each and every highway,
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.
Cory watched her mum and dad, aunts and uncles walk to the coffin. Each person placed their rose on the coffin as the music filled the room. Every word meant something to Cory. She felt Kerry stand up next to her and she tried to follow but her legs began to buckle. Sam caught her before she fell. She let him hold her up. Her tears were coming thick and fast and she found herself sobbing.
Regrets, I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do,
And saw it thru without exemption.
I planned each chattered course,
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.
She walked slowly towards the coffin. She placed her carnation on top of the roses and kissed the coffin. Words couldn’t express how she felt. She knew through the song her grandfather was trying to express how he felt. He’d had plenty of time to prepare himself and now Cory had to finally say goodbye. Sam led her back to her seat and he held her close as she watched her little cousin put a picture she’d drawn on top of the casket.
Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But thru it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spit it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
And did it my way.
As the song finished the coffin began to move along the conveyor belt towards the back of the room. The curtains closed in front of it and Cory closed her eyes. She didn’t care who saw or heard her she couldn’t stop the sobs. She couldn’t fight the pain anymore.
JJ woke up in a sweat. She’d had a restless sleep. Her thoughts were 3000 miles away. She wanted to be with Cory. Helen had stayed a few hours the previous evening but JJ had been lousy company. In the end she’d given up trying to keep her end of the conversation up and had made her excuses and gone to bed. Helen had understood. Well, she’d said she did. JJ would have to call her to apologize. It was just coming up to 5am. The funeral was just coming to an end. She hoped Cory was okay. It hurt JJ to know that her lover was going through this grief without her being there. The distance between them sucked. She lay staring at the photo on her bedside table. The frame held a photo of Cory. JJ had developed her vacation photos and this one had drawn her attention more than the others. She’d been taking photos at the top of the castle tower and JJ had turned to catch Cory daydreaming. Cory looked so relaxed and young.
JJ moved her spare pillow down to her side and cuddled it. She missed Cory so much. She’d found herself buying the same perfume as Cory wore just so she could spray it on her pillow. That way with her eyes closed she felt closer to Cory. She was pathetic. She thumped the bed in frustration. There was no way she was going to survive without the blonde near her. She needed to start finding ways for them to be together. She didn’t care where she just needed it to be soon. There had to be a million ways to get into another country. She’d lived in Germany for two years playing ice hockey. Maybe that was the way forward but she didn’t think England was really into ice hockey. She remembered from her conversation with Sandy at the hotel that there wasn’t as much interest in the sport. She set her mind to do some web surfing at work. It would keep her mind off Cory and at least she’d have some good news to tell her girl when she emailed.
She wasn’t entirely sure what Cory’s plans were for the rest of the week and weekend. Her last email had been brief and sent late the previous evening. It had thanked her for the phone call and mentioned that Sam was taking some time off work. JJ knew the chances of a call were slim but hopefully Cory would send her an email to let her know how the cremation had gone. Personally, she’d never been to a cremation before. All her family were catholic and were buried in the traditional manner. She’d never really given it a thought. She was trying to think about where she’d have her ashes scattered if she had a choice. She wasn’t sure she liked the idea of her body being scattered. A grave was definitely where she wanted to be laid to rest. In fact she didn’t want to think of death at all. She looked back at the clock and couldn’t ignore the time any more. She needed to get in the shower and on the road.
The family gathered outside the crematorium. Hugs and kisses were swapped freely along with tissues. The sound of chatter and nose blowing filled the air. The wake was to be held at a nearby pub her grandfather had always liked. It had been the pub where he’d had his first official drink in 1938. Cory decided she needed to walk. She let go of Sam’s hand. “I just want to go and say hello to Nan. Warn her to be good to Granddad.”
“Do you want me to come?” Sam had been concerned about Cory all through the cremation. He wasn’t sure she was stable enough to be left alone.
Cory shook her head, “I’d prefer to be alone. I’m sure they’ll be a few more people making their way down there too.”
She wandered down towards the tall oak tree that towered high above any of the other trees. She had to cut through a tiny gap in the hedge, where a small paved path lead through the remembrance gardens. There were two places where she went to feel closer to her Nan. The first was the huge oak tree where some of her Nan’s ashes had been scattered. Her granddad had kept some of the ashes. His wish was to mix these with his own. The tree looked barren without it’s leaves. Underneath the tree were some fresh flowers, left in the vase her grandfather had placed two years earlier. She stood reflecting over the two years. She’d missed her Nan. She wondered how her granddad had survived the two years without her. He’d never looked at another woman even though many women had tried to court the old man.
She turned and headed back the way she’d come but instead of turning right she continued walking straight ahead towards the rose garden. That was the second place of remembrance. The family had planted a rose in remembrance. It had her name and the date she’d died inscribed on a plaque in front of it. As she turned the corner she saw her mum and two aunts standing in front of the rose tree. She walked up and stood beside them. Her Aunt Pam hugged her. “How are you doing Cory? He really did love you.”
“Thanks. I’m holding up okay.” She fought back the tears. She just didn’t have the energy to cry any more.
They stood reminiscing for a few minutes and then they walked back up to the main entrance. As they walked up the hill they passed the huge fishpond. Next to the pond the flowers from the top of the coffin were laid out for people to see. Attached to each flower was a card. Cory looked at them. She stopped when she read her own message.
Granddad,
You taught me all I know - thank you.
You will always be my hero.
I love you
Cory
She stared at the flowers. One thought was going through her mind ‘Follow your heart Cory. Follow your heart.’ She looked up at the sky. ‘I will granddad I promise.’ With that she walked towards the rest of the mourners.
The wake went well. The food had been buffet style, and had been a welcome sight for Cory. Her stomach had been feeling awful, but now that she’d had some food, it felt much better. She’d spent some time talking to aunts and uncles about school, and life in general. She’d enjoyed listening to the many memories they held. The time went quickly, and the beer flowed. Cory was trying to monitor how much alcohol she drank, but it was becoming difficult to say no. Every time she turned round another drink was in front of her, and a toast was being said. She hadn’t seen Sam for a while and wondered where he’d gone.
Her sister was talking with her cousin Alan, and Sylvia was sitting next to her brother looking decidedly bored. Cory picked up her pint and walked over to them. “Room for a small one here?” She asked.
“Sure. Hey have you seen Pete?” Kerry asked.
Cory shook her head and took a small sip from her glass. “No, but as I can’t find Sam I’d say the two of them are together somewhere.” Cory looked around and caught her brother’s eye. “Mike have you seen Pete and Sam?”
Mike nodded, “The last time I saw them they were playing pool in the other bar. I’ll go and check on them if you want.”
Cory shook her head. “No it’s okay I was just checking where he was.”
Sylvia nudged her, “Young love, ain’t it sweet.” Cory gave her a false smile and continued to sip her beer.
Alan and Kerry were swapping work related stories. Cory listened for a while but soon got bored. She looked at her other cousin. She hadn’t realised there was such a big gap between her cousin and herself. “So you said it’s your fortieth soon. Any special plans?”
Sylvia shook her head, “No I might go out with friends in London before I leave but I’m not sure.” Cory had always been curious about Sylvia, in all the time she’d known her cousin there had never been any indication of a boyfriend or any kind of significant other. Cory decided to try and dig for more information.
“So you were surprised when you heard about Sam and I then?”
Sylvia looked at her younger cousin, she had always been a pretty child and now she could see that even though her eyes were puffy from crying she was a gorgeous example of a woman. “Like I said before you never seemed to be the marrying kind.”
Cory looked to her side. Alan and Kerry were so involved in their conversation; they were oblivious to the other two. “I guess I never thought I would either. How about yourself, any significant other on the scene?”
Sylvia looked at Cory, the way she’d worded that question was so different from everyone else. Usually she got asked whether she had a boyfriend or why she wasn’t married, especially at her age. “There may be. I just met someone recently at an exhibition. If I ever get brave I may ask them for a date, but don’t hold your breath.”
Cory took another sip of her drink. Interesting. She thought, there had been a flicker in Sylvia’s eyes, and to Cory it had seemed like fear, or surprise. Maybe her suspicions about Sylvia were true. She’d always liked her older cousin, admired her even. She appeared to have it all: the clothes, the job in London, the money and her accent had always made Cory feel very different. But maybe they were more alike than they knew.
“So what are they like?” Cory was careful to keep the pronoun general. She knew from her experience with Ange that people usually jumped to the wrong conclusion and assumed that it had to be a man. If Cory’s hunch was correct, she wanted Sylvia to be the one to say it.
If Sylvia was aware of her little game, she never let it show. “Cute, good looking, a great artist in my opinion and special.”
“Special? Now that’s not a word one usually says about someone they’ve just met.” Cory knew she was treading on new territory. She’d never talked to her cousin about romance but Cory sensed Sylvia wanted to talk.
Sylvia took a few moments to think about what she’d said and then she looked into Cory’s eyes. Before her she saw openness, honesty and trust. She’d known Cory all her life and from what she’d heard and knew Cory was known for being trustworthy. Was it time to reveal her secret to someone? Could she trust her? She was turning forty and sick of lying to herself and others. Maybe she should take a note out of her grandfather’s book and follow her heart. She finished her drink off and looked back at Cory.
“I’m sorry Sylvia I was prying where my nose doesn’t belong. Forget I asked. Would you like another drink?” Cory could see the uncertainty, and had already guessed what might be going on behind the dark, soulful eyes. Sylvia and Cory had completely different complexions. They were as different as chalk and cheese looks wise. Her Aunt Pam had married an Armenian man and the Mediterranean looks had been dominant.
Sylvia nodded and passed her glass to Cory, “Sure I’ll have another. And don’t be sorry, it was a good question. I’m just thinking of a good answer. How about I accompany you to the bar and we continue this discussion in a more secluded spot.”
Cory rose and picked up her own glass. She followed Sylvia to the bar where they ordered more drinks. They placed the full glasses onto the small ledge to the side of the bar and leaned against the wall well away from any prying eyes and ears.
After a minute or two of uncomfortable silence, Sylvia picked up her drink, “ I think I’ve drunk more than I really should have today and it’s still early.” She raised her glass towards Cory. “Here’s to Granddad, may he rest in peace.”
Cory picked up her own glass and clinked it to Sylvia’s. “To Granddad.”
Cory continued to take a big sip of her drink as she heard Sylvia mutter the words, “She’s gay.” Lager spluttered out of Cory’s mouth.
“I’m sorry Sylvia, not the reaction I guess you were after. You just caught me by surprise. Talk about straight to the point. No pun intended.” Cory grabbed a tissue from her pocket, and began to wipe her jacket. She handed another to Sylvia. She’d managed to project the lager onto her too.
“No, I’m the one who should apologise, I didn’t think you’d be surprised. I guess I read the wrong signals over there.”
Cory caught her cousin’s arm, “No you didn’t Sylvia. I knew. It wasn’t the subject that surprised me. It was just the way you came out with it.”
“You asked what made the person special. I mean it’s not what makes her special but it makes her more interesting to me. Usually I meet someone and they’re wonderful and we get on so well, but they’re straight, or so they say. I met Amy a few weeks ago at an art exhibition a friend was hosting. She took my breath away. She seemed really interested in me and we got on great. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her if we decided to go out for my birthday.” Sylvia felt relieved, she’d finally told someone her deepest, darkest secret.
Cory was intrigued, she’d found a kindred spirit within the family, and although she wasn’t sure this was the time and place to discuss her problems she could at least offer an ear to her cousin. “Did she tell you she was gay?”
Sylvia shook her head, “No, my friends told me. I spoke to my two friends who knew her and I told them how nice I thought she was. They told me to be careful and not to give the wrong impression to her because she was gay. I pretty much knew anyway but I wasn’t sure. I’ve been wrong before and been burnt badly. I fell in love about ten years ago with a wonderful woman. Unfortunately, she married a good friend of mine recently and I never told her how I felt. We spent all our time together, I figured she’d get tired of chasing men and realise I was always there for her. But she met her knight in shining armour and I was surplus to requirement. Well we tried to keep in touch but I couldn’t bear seeing her and knowing she loved someone else.”
“Ouch, love can definitely have its low points. So your friends don’t know?”
“No, I don’t know why I haven’t told them. It’s not like it’s new to me, I’ve always known. I just know their views on certain subjects and I just fall into that trap where I just went along with things to keep the peace. Does that make sense?” She looked at Cory who was nodding. “Every time I thought I’d met Miss Right she was either straight so off limits, or married and having a mid life crisis. Amy’s different I think she actually likes me. So I’m scared spitless and would love dearly to invite her to my birthday night out. I feel like I’m 15 and planning my first date! Any ideas?”
“Go for it! What do you have to lose?” Cory held up her two hands. “On the one hand you have nothing, on the other hand you could ask her out and she says no. You’ve still got nothing. Then again she could say yes and what have you then?” Cory paused to get her point across. “You’ve got a possibility of happiness. So pick up the phone and ask her.”
“You’re right I know. The other good thing is she lives near mum and dad. I couldn’t believe that coincidence either. Her gallery is based in Birmingham. So if she did agree, we’d see each other daily as I’m moving back here too. In fact I may call her tonight when I get back.” Sylvia looked so happy, Cory was glad she’d pursued the conversation.
“So as I haven’t heard this scandalous news on the family grapevine I’m putting two and two together and guessing your parents don’t know?” Cory watched Sylvia’s face turn from happiness to pure sadness.
“No. They drop hints now and again but nothing concrete is ever said. Who knows, maybe if Amy is the girl for me I’ll take the plunge, and reveal all. I don’t think they’ll be too shocked. Mum’s quite liberal. Dad could be a problem but I’m sure mum would pave the way. Cory thanks for listening. You’re the first person I’ve told this to. I feel so good, like a weight has been lifted off me.” Sylvia hugged her cousin.
Cory knew how that felt. She’d felt like that twice the previous week. Talking to Ange and then JJ. “Hey, no worries. I’m glad you felt you could confide in me. It’s our little secret I promise Sylvia.”
“Do you know what’s even funnier? You’re going to kill me when you hear this.”
Cory shook her head, out of the corner of her eye she spotted Sam coming towards her, “No, tell me.”
“I was so surprised about you and Sam, as I’d always thought you were gay. How stupid was that?” Sylvia laughed as she said it.
Cory wished she could tell Sylvia the truth but as she opened her mouth Sam came up beside her. “Hey Sylvia, I haven’t seen you in ages. Do you mind if I steal my wife away for a few minutes?”
“Nice to see you too Sam. Sure she’s all yours. I think I’ve monopolised her time enough. Thanks Cory, for being such a great listener. I really appreciate it. Here’s my phone number and address until the end of the month. If you need anything, give me a call. Maybe I can return the favour one day.” Cory took the card, hugged Sylvia and walked away with Sam.
“You two looked very cosy. I didn’t think you and her were very close.” Sam steered Cory towards where Pete and Kerry were standing near the door.
“We’re not really. I think funerals bring out the bond we all have more than any other time.”
“She seemed very grateful for your attention. What’s her problem?”
“Work. She’s moving back home and just needed someone to moan at. I offered.” A little white lie was necessary to keep the promise she’d made, and Sam would have been the last person she’d have told, even if she’d been allowed.
“Pete and I have to go over to Fred’s house and pick up the ashes of your Nan.” Cory stared at Sam. “Fred wanted to mix the ashes he’d kept with his own when he died. Your mum forgot to pick them up when she left. The crematorium phoned and we can scatter your granddad’s ashes later this afternoon. It’ll save everyone making another trip over tomorrow. Do you want to come with us or stay here?”
She looked at Kerry, “Are you going?”
Her sister shook her head, “No I’m settled in here and it’s warmer.”
“I’ll stay with Kerry.” Sam followed Pete out of the door.
“Well I think that’s the last we’ll see of them for a few hours. They both hate family events. Pete was chomping at the bit to leave early. Are you and Sam okay? You seem a bit tense around each other.”
Cory bit her inside lip, another white lie was about to leave her lips, “We’re fine. I guess I’m just tired.”
She spent the rest of the time sitting in the corner, observing her family and wondering what the future held for them all.
Work had been busy for JJ. But for the past hour it had slowed right down and now she was clock watching. She was due on her lunch break in a few minutes and Helen was picking her up for lunch. She’d been surfing the web, looking at the British immigration site. She’d found a few interesting options and others that had depressed her enough to stop surfing. She looked up as the door to her office opened.
“Hey there, Slowpoke. Long time, no see!” Helen looked very pleased with herself.
JJ gathered her wallet, keys and headed towards her friend. “The amount of time I’ve spent with you this week people are going to start talking!” She slapped her hand on her friend’s back.
“So, where to my Princess?” She looked over her shoulder to where several of her work colleagues were staring. “Rumors will be flying now.”
“There’s a ‘99’ down the street. We might as well stay local. So how goes the battle?”
“You are way too hyper for me. What’s gotten into you?” JJ asked as they walked towards the car.
“Jo is coming home tonight! Her last appointment got cancelled and she managed to get a flight home. It feels like she’s been gone forever. I’ve really missed her.”
After parking the car, finding the restroom and waiting ten minutes for the lunchtime rush they’d finally been seated in a booth next to the window.
“So how are things? Any news off Sarah?” Helen asked as she munched her way through the complimentary popcorn.
“She’s arranged for the real estate people to view the house later. No one could ever say she was slow at getting things organized.”
“Wow, that’s quick! What are you going to do once the house is sold?” Helen couldn’t believe how quickly her friend’s life was changing.
JJ starred at the popcorn in her hand. She hadn’t really given the next step much thought. “I don’t know. It depends on what happens between Cory and I. I could be moving to England or she could come here.”
“Would you really move?” Helen didn’t like to think of her friend so far away without friends or family. She liked having the tall woman around and had finally found a friend she could actually talk to. “I’d miss you if you went.”
JJ looked at her friend, “I’d miss you too. Even if you are a pain in my butt at hockey practice.” She grinned as she said this indicating to her friend that she really was kidding around.
The waitress brought their drinks order and waited patiently while the friends poured over the menu. They finally ordered and then resumed their previous conversation.
“So what plans have you got?”
“Well I did a bit of looking this morning. The good news is that Britain allows same sex couples to sponsor their partner into the country.”
“Awesome! And they make out those Brits are stuffy! They’re way more progressive than us.”
“Yeah, but the snag is we have to show we’ve lived together two years. That means getting into the country in the first place. They offer a six month tourist visa but that would mean coming back and forth and I wouldn’t be able to work. In order to work in the country I have to have computer skills that they need. Unfortunately they are skills I don’t have like programming. So I need to look at a way to get us together for two years.” JJ sipped her strawberry milkshake. She’d been so psyched when she’d read about the same sex sponsoring but when reality had hit her she’d realised that it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. She didn’t know if she’d be able to live off Cory’s wage for two years and not contribute in any way.
Helen digested the information, “What about college?”
JJ choked on her milkshake. “No way! I just about managed to get my undergraduate degree. I’m more a hands on person, rather than an academic.”
“I didn’t mean you. I meant Cory. You said she was a teacher. Couldn’t she apply to a college here and get her master’s?”
JJ thought about it, “That would certainly be a possibility but it would cost a lot of money for her to do it at Tewksbury.” Tewksbury was the small, private college she worked at. “What made you think of the Masters degree?”
“I was thinking about it last night when I drove home. I got my degree paid for through my Graduate Assistantship. I worked at the college as a trainer, and they paid for my classes. They also gave me enough money to contribute to the rent. It wasn’t a lot but I’m sure it would be enough if you had your wage as well. I could look into it. They must accept foreign applications, as I know we have exchange students from Japan and England as undergraduates.”
JJ’s eyes were sparkling, “I never realized that’s how you got through college. I assumed Jo paid for you.”
“No. She wanted to. She thought I’d have more time to devote to studying but there were two reasons I took the assistantship. The first was to get some practical training in and the second was for independence. I needed to give some money to Jo to feel useful and get out of the house! I enjoyed it. The college environment is fun.”
“Sounds pretty good to me. I’m sold on the idea. All I have to do now is convince my girl.”
“Well it’s worth a shot. If not Cory should be able to teach over here surely.”
JJ shook her head. “She has to have Massachusetts certification and that might take time. I’m sure there’s a way to get her into a private school but I haven’t really looked into it. I do like the idea of the degree. Could you check around at work for me?”
“Sure. The graduate office is next to the athletic director’s so I go near there on a daily basis. I’ll do some digging around. I could pick up a catalogue if you want me to.”
JJ nodded and spied their subs being brought out. Over the rest of lunch, Helen carried on telling JJ all about the jerk she worked with and how he thought the basketball team all drooled over him. JJ nodded in all the right places but her mind was busy plotting and planning her future with Cory.