Chapter 16
Jace tapped the counter top with her fingers, her nervous energy spilling out in non-verbal actions. She waited patiently for her friend to return to the kitchen. She needed to talk before she exploded. "Is he asleep?"
Jane nodded, and sat down next to Jace. "He’s not sleeping well, and hates to go to bed. We had the same problem with Taylor when we moved him into his big boy bed. We were reluctant to do it, but he’s just grown so big that he was banging himself on the bars. I just wanted him to get a good night’s sleep before tomorrow. We’re going to be out later than usual."
Jace sipped her soda. She was looking forward to First Night in Boston. It had become a family tradition with Jane and the kids to go in and celebrate the coming year as a family. "It should be fun. Taryn went over to the apartment to pick up some warmer clothes, and spend time with JJ and Cory."
"Is she sick of you already?" Jane joked, then stopped when she saw the worry lines etched on Jace’s face. "Hey, I was kidding."
Jace rubbed her hand over her face and then ran her fingers through her loose hair. "I know. I guess I’m a little upset that she’ll be moving out soon. I’ll miss her company."
Jane passed a cookie to the sulking woman. "Here you are, cookies are definitely needed at a time like this. Jace, you’re bound to miss her. From what I’ve heard, you’ve practically spent every hour together since Christmas."
"We get on well."
"I know. It wasn’t a criticism. So, how has the week gone?"
Jace thought back over the week. It had been one of the best Jace had ever spent in another person’s company. Taryn and her had just clicked. The morning after Taryn had spent the night in her room had been a little awkward, but Taryn had seemed to know how to deal with Jace’s uncertainty. "It’s been fun. We seem to know when to give each other some space. We’ve talked a little about our pasts, spent a lot of time going to films or watching movies, and basically solved the problems of the world over hot chocolate!"
Jane listened to Jace’s synopsis of the week. She had definitely noticed a difference in the way her two friends interacted. Both women seemed more relaxed and comfortable around each other. Jane had ignored the fact that neither woman was sleeping on the sofa the morning after Christmas Day. She hadn’t commented, as she still felt guilty about the last time she’d jumped to conclusions, but her curiosity couldn’t be quelled any longer. "Any progress in the romance department?"
Jace dropped her head and shook it from side to side. "No. I’ve been tempted to say things, but then the coward inside talks me out of it. At least I can say I’ve slept with her." She saw Jane’s eyes bug out, and stifled a laugh. "Sorry, let me rephrase that sentence. We’ve spent the night in the same bed. Talk about torture!"
"That bad?"
Jace nodded solemnly, "To hold her in such an intimate manner and not be able to tell her how I feel really hurt. All the time I was holding her and trying to give her comfort, my body wanted more. I felt like a shit. There she was crying, and my body was tingling with desire."
"Was this Christmas night?"
"Yeah."
"Why was Taryn upset?"
Jace looked into Jane’s concerned eyes. She couldn’t betray Taryn’s trust, but she also didn’t want to cause problems between herself and Jane. "She missed her mom, and stuff with Patrick. I…I can’t say anymore, Jane. I wish I could, but I promised her." Jace was torn. She’d never had a best friend before, let alone two friends that were so close. She knew she had to tread carefully. Once again, she was entering unchartered waters.
"Jace, I know Taryn has her secrets. I’m just hoping she tells you what they are. I won’t pretend I’m not jealous, because I am. I wish she had faith in me, but she doesn’t…not like she used to. I’m really happy for you. I’ve definitely seen a change in you since Taryn came along. Give her some more time, Jace. I’m pretty sure she thinks you’re very special. So, how did it feel to share a bed with her, besides torture?"
Jace thought back to that night, trying to sort out how she had felt. "It was awkward at first. She had asked me to stay with her on the couch. I knew that I’d fall asleep, and I didn’t want to wake up all cramped, so I offered my bed. When we got there, she asked for a hug, I must have been as stiff as a board, because she asked me if I was okay. She was really quite sweet about it. I explained that it was my first time sharing a bed with anyone."
"I never thought about that. Wow…that must have been weird. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have someone in my bed."
Jace nodded. "It was. My body wouldn’t stop trembling, and I had these tiny shudders shooting through me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so aroused." Jace lowered her eyes. She could feel the blush rising up her face. "It scared me, Jane."
Jane took Jace’s hand and squeezed it. "I know, but you’ll feel better if you talk about it. Plus, I’ll have to kill you if you don’t give me all the details! I’ve been dying to know all the gossip for a week!"
Jace opened her eyes wider and looked questioningly at Jane. "Why didn’t you just ask?"
Jane took a deep breath and then released it slowly. "I didn’t want a repeat performance. The last time I opened my mouth, you and Taryn didn’t talk for ages. I figured I’d wait for you to tell me. I wasn’t about to ask Taryn. So, back to that night, what happened?"
"She rolled over to give me my space, which was a good idea. I think I’d have spontaneously combusted if she’d kept her head on my chest!" Jace shook her head and gave an embarrassed laugh. "I think I lay awake most of the night. I watched her sleep. At one point she rolled onto her back, and I was just amazed at how innocent she looked in her sleep. I…I did kiss her on the cheek. Then I must have fallen asleep. She woke me up when she went to the bathroom the next morning. I must have been lying on her, because I felt my body being gently pushed over. It was an experience I’d gladly repeat."
"How were things the next morning? I mean, you two seemed fine over breakfast."
Jace contemplated that statement. "We were. Taryn came back in when she’d finished in the bathroom and asked me how I was. She thanked me for being there for her, and we just went from there. The rest of the week we’ve just been two friends sharing a house." Jace banged her head on the counter top. "Why did it have to be her?"
Jane had no words to help Jace, so she just rubbed her friend’s back. Love could definitely be a major pain in the ass.
**
"Hey stranger, I’m surprised you remembered where we lived!" JJ teased as Taryn walked through the apartment door.
"Nice to see you too, buddy!" She stuck out her tongue. "I need some warmer clothes. The weather forecast for tomorrow night doesn’t look good. Are you guys still coming into town?"
Cory yawned, and then stretched her arms above her head. She repositioned her body against JJ’s and assessed her friend. Taryn looked a lot more relaxed. The bags under her eyes were gone, and she seemed to have a bounce to her step. "I’m looking forward to it. JJ was saying that the fireworks are awesome. So, how’s your week gone?"
Taryn dropped onto the spare sofa, and placed her feet on the coffee table. "It’s been good. Jace is good company. We went to see Lord of the Rings, and did a little shopping. I’ve written a little of my thesis proposal, and she taught me to bake a little."
"So, you haven’t killed each other?" Cory teased.
"No. In fact, I’m going to miss her company when I move back here. She’s a very nice woman."
JJ looked from Cory to Taryn. She sensed there was some unspoken message being passed from one woman to the other. "Taryn, what I think my other half is trying to tell you without breaking anyone’s confidence, is that she wants the gossip."
Taryn blushed, "You told her?"
Cory elbowed JJ hard in the ribs. "No. She’s just stirring up her own nest of hornets."
JJ winced, "Ow. Told me what?"
"Nothing." Cory mumbled.
Taryn could tell Cory hadn’t broken her trust, but she could also tell JJ had more to say. "There isn’t any gossip."
JJ nodded, but couldn’t hide her smirk. "But you’d like there to be, wouldn’t you?"
"Huh?" Both Cory and Taryn muttered.
"Give me a break. I have eyes. It’s very clear young lady, that you have a definite case of hero worship where Jace is concerned. I’ve seen you around her. I also think she likes you. You were like a couple of lovebirds on Christmas Eve. I think the only ones that don’t know how you feel are the pair of you."
Taryn was surprised at the accuracy in JJ’s observations. "You think she likes me?"
"Yes!" Cory and JJ said in unison.
Taryn thought about it. She knew her friends were just going on what they’d seen. They didn’t know about Jace’s past, and the insecure aspect of Jace’s personality. "Well, I can’t speak for Jace, and I’m not sure you’re right with your observations concerning Jace’s feelings, but I do like her...a lot."
Cory whooped with delight. "How do you know what Jace feels?"
Taryn shrugged. "She’s been great, but whenever I’ve initiated any kind of contact with her, she immediately backs off. We’ve had some great chats this week, but she’s taken to sitting in the armchair. I know she likes me, but it’s definitely just a friendship thing. I still can’t believe I’ve fallen for my boss! What am I going to do?"
"Taryn, I don’t pretend to know Jace all that well, but I have a feeling that she’s very much used to being in control. She seems a very responsible person. I can’t imagine her letting go of that control very often. Therefore, if you want anything to happen, it’s going to have to come from you. It doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s all bravado. I watched her in the club the night of your birthday, and she was scared shitless whenever a woman came near her. I thought she was straight until the day we got the Christmas tree. She never took her eyes off you, Taryn."
Taryn listened to JJ’s statement. Half of her was excited about the observations, but the other more frightened side of her was unsure about what she should do next. Could she really be with someone who had no experience of love or relationships? "I’ll take your word for it. Let me go and get my clothes ready." Taryn stood up to leave, her eyes falling on the shelf of DVDs. "J, could I borrow a few movies? We’ve exhausted Jace’s collection."
"Sure. Take what you want."
Taryn went into her room and packed up a few pieces of clothing. After she had gathered all that she thought she needed, she walked back out into the living room and settled in front of the DVD collection. The films in front of her were definitely eclectic in taste. She scanned some of the covers. She grabbed three, and pushed them into the side pocket of her bag. "Thanks. I promise to return them as good as new."
**
Jace looked up as the front door slammed shut. She had missed being with Taryn, and was glad to see her roommate was smiling. "How are they?"
"Good. They have that look of love on their face. My guess is they’ve been doing it likes rabbits since I’ve been gone." She saw the blush tinge Jace’s cheeks. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you."
"No apologies needed. Remember you promised to rectify my innocence, so I figured these comments were just the beginning."
"Speaking of innocence…I…err…I borrowed some DVDs off JJ."
Jace gulped, "Really? Should I be worried? You don’t usually stammer like that."
Taryn punched Jace lightly on the arm. "You’ll have to see. What’s that I smell?"
"Your dinner. I cooked a stew. It’s a little cold out there, and on a chilly day there’s nothing better than beef stew. Do you want to eat in here or on the sofa?"
"Sofa. We can watch one of the films. I thought we’d start with Coyote Ugly. Have you seen it?"
Jace shook her head. "No. I heard it was supposed to be good. Why that one?" She scooped some stew into a bowl for her guest, and then did the same for herself. Passing the bowl to Taryn, she saw the blonde smirk evilly at her.
"You’ll see. I thought tonight could be the beginning of your transformation from a lurking lesbian to slightly more aware lesbian." She saw Jace’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "Relax, I’m not expecting you to run out into the road and announce it to the world! In fact, everything we’re going to do can be done on the sofa."
Jace had to grip her bowl tighter as her shaking hands trembled with nervousness. "Why, oh why, do those words not comfort me?"
Taryn tasted the stew. She had to admit it was delicious. "You’re a great cook, Jace. How’d you learn to be so good?"
Jace chewed and swallowed the lump of beef in her mouth before she answered. "My aunt. She still believed in old traditions. The man goes out and works, and the woman stays home. She wanted me to have something to offer a man! So, you like it?"
"Yep. I may have to make you cook for me even when I’m not here." Taryn pressed the play button on the DVD, and continued to press the remote when the screen demanded her to.
Jace watched the beginning of the movie. A lanky blonde woman seemed to be the focus of the story. "Why are we watching this film?" Jace asked after she’d finished eating her meal.
"You’ll see." Taryn replied glibly.
Twenty-five minutes later, Jace was still confused, but enjoying the film. She smiled when she saw some girls in an early morning café dancing. "That would never happen. I’ve never been in a café and seen people do that."
Taryn smiled, "Stop being picky. It’s setting the scene for what’s to come. They have to get her attention somehow. She’s hardly likely to go to the bar they work in, so the producers had them dance in the café while they’re having breakfast. And, that’s beside the point. The real question is, do any of the girls catch your eye?"
Jace did a double take. "Pardon?"
Taryn turned in her chair, taking her eyes off the screen. "Well, you said you’re pretty sure you’re gay. Am I right?" She saw Jace nod. "So, I was interested in what type of girl you would go for."
Jace’s eyes returned to the screen. The sight of a blonde woman wearing a very tight tank top made her eyes widen a little. "She’s kind of cute."
"Really?" Taryn’s eyes surveyed the woman on the screen. She had to admit that Jace seemed to have a good eye. The woman was definitely buff, and nice to look at. "Okay, that’s a start, why?"
She reminds me of you! Jace said inwardly. She continued to watch the film, and laughed as she watched the antics in the bar. "Could you imagine going to a bar like that?"
"No. It looks pretty fun though. So, do you still like the boss woman?"
Jace nodded. "She’s pretty, in a natural looking way. I mean, she’s got a good build and isn’t afraid to dominate. I like someone who can stick up for themselves."
Taryn made a mental note that Jace had picked out the blonde. "Crazy, isn’t it?"
Jace nodded. "So, what about you? What type of girl do you go for?"
"I wouldn’t say I have a specific type. I know what I like when I see it. The tall brunette catches my eye, but she’s a bit of a bitch. I like most women if I’m honest, but I am partial to any with blue eyes." Taryn dropped the hint to see what reaction she would get off Jace.
"Okay. If I had to go for a specific color of eyes I’d have to say brown. I really like Jane’s eyes. They’re so expressive at times. Sometimes they swirl around and change colors when she’s troubled." There you go, a safe answer, but I wonder if she knows her eyes are the spitting image of Jane’s.
"Jace, can I ask a question?"
"Sure. I didn’t realize we were still at the stage where you had to ask me first."
"I was just curious about you and Jane. Have you ever had feelings for her?"
Jace’s eyes rounded. "No! I mean, she’s cute and a really good friend, and I love her…but no."
"Hey calm down, I was just curious." Taryn giggled as she heard the lesbian comment in the film. "This film was just to get you thinking more about looking at girls as dating material. There aren’t many films out there that have so many pretty girls doing raunchy things! Wow! Look at the legs on that brunette! I think I need a beer to cool down. Would you like one?"
"Sure. Thanks." Jace settled into the chair. She appraised each woman on the screen. The blonde still managed to catch her eye every time she was on the screen. She took the bottle handed to her, and clinked the top with Taryn before the blonde settled back on the sofa.
"Did the guy’s body do anything for you?"
Jace shook her head. "Nope. Nothing moved on my heart rate monitor. Why do I suddenly feel like a rat in a laboratory experiment? It’s still the blonde boss. I guess I’m into the power thing."
They settled in to watching the film in comfortable silence. "Hey Jace, would you ever get a tattoo?"
Jace admired the tattoo on the bar owner’s arm. "Never thought about it. What do you think about me having one on my biceps like her?" Jace rolled her t-shirt sleeve up and flexed the muscle. "Do you think it would suit me?"
Taryn tried not to laugh at her usually serious boss as she pretended to be a tough broad. Taryn pointed to the screen. "Ooh! Look at the ice going down that woman’s stomach. Now she’s hot! I like them tall and lean."
Jace lifted an eyebrow. "Really?" Her eyes were riveted to the screen as she watched the ladies writhe around wet on the bar top.
"Sure." Taryn gulped down some of her beer. "I think you’d look like that if you wore a leather skirt hitched up to your panties, and a top that flashed your cleavage." She winked at Jace to show she was kidding; well half kidding.
"Would never happen! I’m way too old to be doing any of that!"
"Bullshit! You run every morning. Your body doesn’t look a day over twenty, and you’re only four years older than me!" Taryn blushed as she heard the words leave her lips.
Jace matched Taryn’s blush. "Thanks. You’ve got a pretty good body yourself."
Taryn smiled. She’s flirting with me! Oh my God, my boss is flirting with me! "Well, we should start up a mutual appreciation society."
Jace reclined her chair, and appreciated the scantily clad women in the film, smiling inwardly at the knowledge that Taryn found her interesting. As the film rolled to an end, Jace realized she missed being close to Taryn. She wanted to move over to the sofa and sit by Taryn, especially when the film turned serious and began discussing bad childhoods. She wanted to show Taryn how she felt. She listened carefully to the conversation between the characters Lilly and Jersey. "I hope we never have to have that discussion."
Taryn looked over to a very serious looking Jace. "The boss/friend conversation?"
Jace nodded. "She thought Lilly was her friend, but Lilly never said she was her friend. She was just her boss. I…I want you to know that you’re my friend, Taryn. I just hope I never have to do what Lilly did because you broke a rule."
Taryn listened carefully. "Jace, I’ve already been there. Remember the bite mark?"
Jace nodded solemnly. "Yeah. I felt bad afterwards, especially when you told me about Marti’s behavior. I still had to do my job."
"I know, Jace. I was never mad at you. Lilly was just doing her job. She stated the rules very clearly, and Jersey broke them. It’s nice to hear that we’re friends though. I’ve really enjoyed my time here, Jace."
"Same here." Jace laughed when she heard the bar owner describe herself as a cast iron, heartless bitch. "Oh, I bet that’s what you thought I was when you first met me!"
Taryn laughed in response. "Well, maybe a little. But I think you considered me stubborn and pigheaded at first. Admit it!"
Jace smirked, and poked her tongue out at the blonde. "A little, I guess. You are stubborn and a little fiery, but I like you!"
"I think the film would have been much better if Jersey and Lilly had gotten together. Can you imagine the sex scene?" Taryn teased, as she saw Jace squirm in her seat.
"Don’t tease me! I’m new to all this. Okay, I admit I would like to see the blonde naked. What’s her name?"
Taryn picked up the DVD box. "Maria Bello. I think she was in ER for a while. Do you watch that show?"
Jace shook her head. She watched the lead character sing the hit song from the movie. "Okay, if I was in the room with her, I’d definitely be interested. She has gorgeous dark eyes. And I would be interested in Jersey too. And maybe the brunette, Rachel, too. Am I learning?"
Taryn grinned. "Definitely. Ooh, LeAnn Rimes, now I could go for her! She’s cute, and I knew Rachel couldn’t be a complete bitch! Ah, what a nice film. It makes you all cozy inside!"
"Yeah, that was a pretty good film. What’s next on the agenda?"
Taryn stood up and stretched her back out. "Another beer, and a bit of a different film. It’s a lesbian classic. It stars Sharon Stone and Ellen DeGeneres, If Walls Could Talk 2."
Jace gasped, "Sharon Stone played a lesbian?"
Taryn grinned. "She sure did. I think you’ll appreciate this film. It has lots of blondes in it…and a little bit of lesbian sex." She saw Jace’s eyes widen like saucers. "Relax. It’s nothing that’ll make your underwear knot up. There’s some kissing and a few body shots. It’s the next step in your development. You need to see what you think of two women getting it on."
Jace watched Taryn’s retreating body. She looked from the sofa to the chair she was sitting on. Shrugging to herself, she quickly rose and settled onto the warm seat that Taryn had vacated. She was enjoying the evening. Her embarrassment around Taryn was lessening, and she felt they were developing a great bond. She hoped that she would soon be able to pluck up the courage to tell Taryn how she felt. She looked up when she heard the tutting sound coming from the kitchen door.
"Geez, would you jump in my grave that quickly?" Taryn passed the cold bottle to Jace and went to sit in the chair.
"You can share the couch with me, if you want? I just wanted to be able to stretch out a little more to the side." Jace lied, not wanting Taryn to know she just needed to be near her.
"Okay. Let me switch the DVDs over." Taryn placed the previously used DVD in its case, and put the new one in the slot. She watched as the DVD player read the disc, and then settled on the opposite end of the couch.
Jace watched the first story. Taryn had explained that the DVD was three stories in one movie. She felt the lump in her throat when she saw how the older woman was treated. When the film ended she turned to Taryn. "Are the others just as sad?"
Taryn shook her head. "No. But that one makes you realize how hard things can be for gay people. Even nowadays, there’s prejudice in the world. Are you ready for that?"
Jace considered the question. "Well, I’m not planning on shouting it from the rooftops, but I am sick of being lonely."
"What about work?"
Jace raised an eyebrow, "What about it?"
"Would it bother you if people knew you were gay?"
Jace thought about it. It had never been an issue before. She shrugged her shoulders. "I would hope my partner and I could be discrete, but I’m sure there’s already some talk going around the Center." Jace watched the screen as the other story unraveled.
Taryn watched Jace wriggle in her seat. "Is the scene making you uncomfortable?"
Jace blushed. "A little. I’ve never watched two women make love before. It’s interesting."
"Interesting? Now that’s a word I wouldn’t have used. How does it make you feel?"
Jace buried her head into the nearby cushion. She couldn’t admit how she felt, not even to Taryn. It was too much, too soon. "Err…next question."
Taryn could sense Jace’s embarrassment. "If I told you it turns me on, would that make you feel better?"
Jace nodded her head slightly. She sat back up, raised an eyebrow, and turned smoldering blue eyes on Taryn. "It does?"
Taryn nodded. "Yep. It’s at times like this I wish I had someone to hold and be with, but it wouldn’t take away the underlying hurt. The answer to my problems can’t be solved by sleeping around." Realizing the conversation had switched to her own problems, she tried to deflect her comment back onto Jace. "So, does it turn you on?"
The taller woman looked at the screen. She considered the term ‘turned on’, not even sure she knew what it meant. Did the image make her hot? The answer was yes. Did looking at a woman’s naked body make her tingle? The answer was yes. She turned back to Taryn. "I guess so."
Taryn had seen the uncertainty in Jace’s eyes. She began to understand that concepts linked to sexuality were really new to Jace. Taryn tried to think back to her teenage years. She couldn’t remember what it was like to discover her awakening sexuality. She had no idea how Jace was feeling. To be in her thirties, and yet so innocent must be heartbreaking, especially when the same person was so in control and knowledgeable about other things. Deciding that she really had pushed the conversation to its limits, Taryn settled down to watch the final show in the trilogy. She liked seeing Sharon Stone cavort with Ellen. As they watched the interaction between the two familiar women, Taryn could feel Jace relax a little more. The evening’s conversation had definitely helped Taryn come to terms with her own feelings. She doubted very much if Jace and her could have a romantic future. They were so different. Taryn didn’t want to give her heart away, especially to someone who was so unsure about her own sexuality, and had no experience at a relationship. A friendship was all she had to offer Jace.
Chapter 17
Taryn squeezed into the bustling train. Bodies jostled her, and she struggled to keep upright. She tightened her hands around the rail, and planted her feet firmly on the floor. The clickety-clack of the wheels on the track made her mind drift in and out of reality. She glanced around, and felt comforted that her family and friends were with her. She felt an arm snake around her stomach and pull her closer to the body behind. She turned her head, and smiled up into the blue eyes that had been constantly on her mind of late. "Thank you. Whoever designed these overhead rails was a giant. I see you don’t have any difficulty."
Jace flashed a white smile down at Taryn. "I could see you struggling, and I know this part of the track gets bumpy. You don’t mind this, do you?"
Taryn shook her head. "No problem." She saw Cory looking at her, and caught the knowing glint in the blonde’s eyes. "Stop it." She mouthed at Cory.
Cory grinned back at Taryn and winked. She had been watching the interaction between Jace and Taryn all evening. Jace had picked her and JJ up earlier, and Cory sensed that something significant had happened between the couple. Taryn assured her that nothing had happened, but Cory wasn’t completely buying the whole story.
Jane was seated with Tom held tightly on her lap, her other son and daughter were seated either side of her, dutifully watching the carry on bag. Bill had the folded stroller in front of him. "We’re the next stop, guys. Remember to hold an adult’s hand when we leave the train. Josie, you stop rolling your eyes. You’re still a child, and it’s busy out there. I do not want to lose any of you tonight!"
Taryn took pity on her aunt, and held her hand toward Taylor. "Here, buddy. You’re my pal tonight." She grinned at the look of awe on Taylor’s face. She took his hand firmly in her own, and checked that Taylor had his balance before she began to turn to the door.
Jace reluctantly released her tight hold of the blonde’s body. She had enjoyed feeling the closeness, and had been pleased that Taryn hadn’t pulled away. In fact, she was sure the shorter woman had welcomed the embrace. Jace kept a hand on the edge of Taryn’s jacket, not willing to let the blonde out of her sight. She felt JJ come up behind her, and flashed a grin at her. "Whose idea was it to come out on New Year’s Eve?"
JJ smiled back, "Yours!"
The family followed the crowd out of the T station and up onto one of the main streets of Boston. The air was chilly, and Taryn could see the condensation leaving her lips as she blew out. She zipped up her jacket and tightened her scarf around her neck. They all waited patiently as Bill put the stroller together, and then they placed the carryall bag under the chair section. Jace helped Jane put Tom inside the carriage, and then took hold of Taylor’s spare hand. They made their way over the common, and followed the delighted sounds of families enjoying a night out together. JJ led the group over to the first ice sculpture. The crowds surged forward, making the view difficult.
Cory held her camera up, but couldn’t get a clear shot. She looked imploringly at JJ. "Can you get me a shot? They should have stools for us short-arses to be able to stand on."
Jace laughed at the comment and received a dig in the ribs. "No mocking, Xanthos! We short people can seek revenge in many devious ways!" Taryn wiggled her eyebrows at Jace.
"I’ll behave, I promise."
"Mom! Mom! We can skate!" Taylor exclaimed excitedly.
Taryn’s whole attention was focused on keeping Taylor by her side. "We’ll go there in a minute, Tay. Calm down." She kept hold of his hand and looked at Jane. "Do you want me to take the kids on the ice? It’ll give you and Bill a moment of peace."
Jane looked at her niece. "Would you mind?"
Taryn shook her head. "I wouldn’t have offered if I did. Did you bring your skates?" She saw Jane nod her head as she leaned down to grab the bag. "Would it be okay if Cory borrowed them? I thought it would make a great photo to send home to England."
"Yes!" Cory shouted. "My brother would be so envious. Me, skating in Boston Common on New Year’s Eve! Do you mind, Jane?"
The brunette shook her head. "Be my guest. I’m quite happy watching from here."
Jace watched as Taryn and Cory hung onto the kids’ hands as they were dragged over to the rink. She was a little disappointed that Taryn hadn’t asked her to skate. You don’t have any skates, bozo! Suck it up! She followed the family over to the edge of the ice rink, and watched as Taryn paid for the four of them to skate. She watched as Bill and Jane took Tom over to see the clown carrying the balloons. She smiled at JJ as the tall, raven-haired woman joined her at the barrier. "Aren’t you skating?"
JJ shook her head. "No. I do enough of it on the weekends. It’s nice just to watch Cory skating. She’s been out here for five months and I haven’t seen her on the ice. I’m still amazed she’s here. There were times earlier this year when I doubted we’d ever do it. "
Jace listened to JJ talk. "Was it difficult to begin with?"
JJ averted her eyes off the short blonde, and onto Jace. "Yes and no. Falling for her was easy. I’d never even seen a photo of her, yet I knew she was the one. Deciding what to do next was the hardest decision I had to make. It’s about where you are right now, isn’t it?"
Jace was startled. JJ had never made any personal remarks to her before. She was stunned by the comment and wasn’t quite sure of the hidden meaning behind the question.
JJ saw the shocked expression, and put her hand on Jace’s arm. "I didn’t mean to come right out with it. I just wanted to let you know what I see. No one has told me anything. I’ve made my own judgments by watching. There is something to be said about being the quiet one. While Cory chatters and is the life and soul of a gathering, I people watch. Tell me to mind my own business, Jace, but I see how you look at her. I just wanted to give you the heads up. It’s not really the secret you think it is."
Jace didn’t know what to say or do. She looked over at Jane, then back to JJ, confusion written all over her face. "I…I didn’t know I was that transparent."
JJ smiled. "You’re not. Cory said something the other week at Thanksgiving. It got me thinking. She thought you were a little too concerned about Taryn’s safety, especially when you were reluctant to leave Taryn’s side. When a person is more attentive than her best friend or aunt, people talk. I just wanted you to know that Cory and I jumped to our own conclusions, Taryn hasn’t said anything to us."
"Okay." Jace had no words to describe what was going through her head.
JJ looked over at the two blondes frolicking on the ice. "They’re quite a pair, aren’t they?" Jace nodded in agreement. "Look, I’m not one for heart-to-hearts, I just wanted you to know that I told Taryn you liked her, and I thought you should know that the reaction was quite favorable. Just in case you were wondering if she liked you." JJ winked at Jace. "I’m not breaking any secret pact, just telling you what I observed. Am I wrong?"
"You told her I liked her?" Jace shook her head and let out a deep sigh.
"I wasn’t meddling. I just wanted to see what she thought. Cory’s been very tight-lipped where Taryn’s concerned. And having told Taryn, I felt it was only fair to let you know what I’d done."Jace appreciated JJ’s honesty, and decided to open up a little to her. "I like her…a lot." She smiled when she thought about what JJ had said. "So, she likes me too?"
JJ wagged a finger at Jace. "I didn’t say that, my friend. I said the reaction was favorable. If you want to know how she really feels, then you’re going to have to do what all the books and movies say, and just kiss the girl!"
Jace paled. "Kiss her? Couldn’t I just wait and see what happens? You said she didn’t balk at the idea of me liking her."
JJ looked back at the skaters. She wanted to make sure neither Cory or Taryn were within hearing distance. "Okay, here’s the scoop, and I promise the conversation is between us. If Cory and Taryn can have their fun, then so can we. Taryn’s a very pretty, cute young woman." Again Jace nodded in agreement. "While she may not be adverse to you liking her, she’s also very single. Now we’ve had discussions at our place, and I know she’s no virgin. If you don’t jump in now and let her know how you feel, then she may just find that someone before you do pluck up the courage."
Jace’s heart had jumped into her throat when she’d heard JJ mention the word virgin, until she replayed the sentence, and realized JJ was talking about Taryn. "It’s complicated."
JJ threw her hands into the air. "How complicated can it get? Look at Cory and I. Let’s break it down to the bare basics. You like her; she may like you. I say go for it. Life’s too short not to. You seem pretty close. What do you have to lose?"
Jace mulled over JJ’s words of advice. "Her friendship…my dignity…I could become a laughing stock at work!"
JJ leaned on the barrier watching her girlfriend chase Josie around the ice. "Well, if you really think Taryn would stoop that low and spread gossip around, then I can see why you wouldn’t say anything. Personally, I think you have the ideal opportunity to show her how you feel."
Jace felt guilty that she had thought those things about Taryn. "What opportunity?"
"It’s New Year’s Eve…you know, the ball drops and then to quote my wonderful girlfriend, everyone sucks face with someone. All you have to do is get Taryn alone in a room and go for it. You can always blame it on tradition if she turns you down. Just go for one kiss and see what happens."
Jace smiled as she saw Taryn topple onto the ice pulling Cory and Taylor down with her. She hadn’t thought about making a move on Taryn. There had been times she had wanted to tell the blonde how she felt, but now a plan began to formulate in her mind. "JJ, if I ask you something, will it remain between the two of us?"
"Sure."
Jace could see the sincerity in the blue eyes that looked eerily like her own. "Say I go for it, and I kiss her. How will I know if she’s interested?"
JJ tried really hard to swallow her surprise, but she knew she was struggling to hide the astonishment. Although she’d had her doubts about Jace’s experience, she hadn’t expected to be asked such a basic question. "My guess would be she’d kiss you back." She looked at Jace’s inquiring face. "If you kiss someone and they’re interested, then they tend to move into a kiss, and it may go on longer than a quick peck on the cheek. If she pulls you closer or opens her mouth, then she’s definitely interested."
Jace digested the information. "Thanks. You didn’t expect that question, did you?"
JJ grinned. "No. I thought I’d done a pretty good job at analyzing you. I told Taryn yesterday that I thought you were really into control and she’d have to be the one to make the move, if she was interested. But then I thought about it, and Taryn still considers you her boss, because in all actuality you are. She wouldn’t want to jeopardize your working relationship if she wasn’t hundred percent sure her feelings were reciprocated. Am I making sense here?"
"Kind of. I just didn’t realize I had been the center of a conversation." She shoved her hands further into her leather jacket, and stamped her cold feet on the floor.
"Like I said, Jace, I like you. I don’t mean to meddle. I just didn’t want you to be blindsided if Taryn ever did make a move on you, and I want my friends to be happy. You’re good for each other. Think about it. I flew three thousand miles to try to win Cory’s heart. I never realized that she’d already given it to me."
"Okay. It looks like the skaters are tired. Let’s go and meet them at the gate." Jace was grateful for JJ’s insight, if not a little miffed that she had been so easily read.
Taryn wiped the mist off of her face. "You should have come on the ice, Jace. It was fun."
"I can’t skate, Taryn. You’d have been dragging me around the ice."
"You can’t skate?"
Jace raised an eyebrow. "I grew up in Greece and California! Not exactly ice country. I never really found the attraction. Maybe you could teach me. I never made fun of you when you said you couldn’t cook!"
Taryn looked sheepishly at Jace. "I’m sorry. I sometimes forget how different we are. Oh, look the fireworks. Woo-hoo! Tay, make sure you get it on video." She moved back so that the young boy could stand in front of her with the camcorder. The night had an air of romanticism to it. Impulsively, she grabbed Jace’s hand. "Jace, look how pretty they are!"
Jace kept a firm hold of Taryn’s hand, not wanting to lose contact with the blonde. She just wished the blonde didn’t have her gloves on. She missed the soft feeling of Taryn’s skin against her own. "They’re beautiful. Make a wish, Taryn. It’s the end of a year, and nearly time to greet the new one." Deep, brown eyes met dark blue, and a silent wish was sent skywards.
The group wove their way through the crowds heading for the T station. Taryn clung onto Taylor’s hand and tried to keep the boy away from the heaving bodies of the crowd around them. When they reached the subway entrance the family group stopped. Taryn turned around and looked at Jace. She smiled softly in response to Jace’s own smile, and then looked back at her aunt and uncle. She caught the worried glance that passed between the two, and watched as Bill began looking between the baby carriage and in front of JJ and Cory. She saw the panic cross Jane’s face and she quietly placed Taylor’s hand into Jace’s. "I’ll be right back." She commented as she crossed the short distance to Bill and Jane. "What’s up?"
Jane looked frantically around. "We can’t find Josie. We thought she was walking ahead of JJ and Cory, but when Bill looked over she wasn’t there."
Taryn looked over at Cory. "Did you see her?"
Cory shrugged her shoulders. "We thought she was back with you and Jace. JJ’s gone down into the station to look around. She has the height to see over people."
Taryn put her arm around Jane’s shoulder and tried to give her aunt a reassuring squeeze. "She’ll be fine. Josie’s got enough common sense to know what to do. Look, there’s some police I’ll go and see if they’ve seen her. Stay here." Taryn glanced down at a sleeping Tom. At least the boys were safe. She looked over at Jace. The tall woman had Taylor on her back and was obviously distracting the young boy from the family problem.
Jace had heard part of the conversation and had immediately offered Taylor a piggyback ride. She was currently pointing out things of interest and trying valiantly to keep the young boy occupied while the others searched for his missing sister. She glanced to her left and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she caught sight of Taryn pushing her way through the crowd with a sobbing Josie wrapped in her arms.
"Thank God, Josie." Jane cried as she rushed to gather her daughter in her arms. "You had me so worried. What happened?"
Josie clung to her mother and tried to calm herself down. She wiped her teary eyes and kissed her mom on the cheek. "I thought I was following JJ. There was a tall woman in a denim jacket. I looked behind I couldn’t see you and dad. Then the woman turned around and it wasn’t JJ. I tried not to panic and I remembered what you told me. I found the nearest policeman and told him my name and address. He said I was really brave and had done the right thing. I did do the right thing, didn’t I?" Josie gripped her mom’s hand.
Jane kissed her daughter’s head. "Yes. You did the right thing. You’re a very sensible young girl."
Josie hugged her father and then her cousin. "It was scary being all alone."
Jace walked over and joined the family, very relieved that things had righted themselves so soon. "Good to have you back with us, squirt." She rubbed the top of Josie’s head. "You had us all worried for a second." She glanced over at a nervous looking Cory. "No sign of JJ?"
Cory shook her head. "I think I should go down and find her. Let her know the panic is over. She felt bad that the others thought we had her."
Jace squeezed Cory’s shoulder. "I think you should stay here. JJ knows her way around Boston and she knows where she left us. She’ll be fine. It’s probably heaving with passengers eager to catch the train out of town. Give her a few moments to fight her way through the crowds. She’s probably the only person trying to climb the stairs out of the station; everyone else is going down them."
No sooner had Jace uttered the words, than a rather cross looking JJ exited through the T station doors. "It’s crazy down there." Her eyes caught the smiling faces and she saw the young girl hugging her mom’s side. "You got her. Thank God."
The group made their way down the station steps and hugged goodbye before the train arrived. Taryn tried one last time to get Bill and Jane to change their plans and come for food at the apartment, but one look at the three tired faces of the children made her realize that life for Bill and Jane had to follow a schedule. Before turning away, Taryn promised she’d call her aunt the next day.
**
"I love Chinese food. Is it really a tradition to eat Chinese on New Year’s Eve?" Cory asked in disbelief.
"I swear it is. Taryn, tell her the truth." JJ begged.
Taryn shrugged. "Wrong person to ask, J. I grew up in an Irish family. We tended to cook a roast. Jace, what about you?"
Jace copied Taryn’s action and shrugged. "I’ve heard rumors that it is. But besides these past few years, I’ve tended to just stay in. Sorry, JJ, you’re going to have to prove it using more reliable sources. The meal was good. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone eat as many crab rangoons as Cory did."
Cory laughed. "It’s my little American fetish!"
"Hey, I thought I was your little American fetish?"
Cory tweaked JJ’s cheek, "You’re my tall, dark and gorgeous American fetish."
JJ cleared the plates away. On her return, she grabbed Cory’s hand and pulled the blonde to her feet. "I’m not pushing you guys out, especially as you live here, Taryn. Feel free to stay over, but we’re heading out. I wanted to whisk this pretty lady away." She saw Cory’s questioning gaze. "I’m taking you to the beach."
Cory’s expression turned into a full-scale smile, "You remembered?"
"I keep my promises!" She addressed Taryn and Jace; "I promised Cory we’d spend our first New Year’s Eve on the edge of America facing England."
"That’s really romantic, J. Go!" Taryn said excitedly, "Jace and I have our own plans."
"We do?" Jace asked without thinking.
Jace and Taryn watched JJ and Cory put on their coats. "Have fun. I’ll be home tomorrow. I’ll call before I leave, just to make sure you two have your clothes on!"
Cory blushed and looked at Jace. It felt weird having the Center Director laughing at her expense. "Taryn, I will get you back! Mark my words…be afraid. Be very afraid."
Jace and Taryn watched the pair of lovebirds race out the front door. The silence in the room was deafening. Jace shuffled in her seat. Finally, when it looked like Taryn wasn’t going to speak, Jace spoke up. "If you’d prefer to stay here, I can drop your things around tomorrow."
Taryn bit down on her bottom lip. She hadn’t considered that Jace might not want her around. "No. I’d like to spend the rest of the evening with you. If you still want me around?"
Jace flashed Taryn a toothy smile. "I was hoping you’d say that. So, what things do you have planned for me?"
Taryn winked at Jace, smiling as she watched the gulp travel down Jace’s throat.
**
Taryn checked her watch. It was only an hour until midnight. They had arrived back at Jace’s, and immediately put some champagne on ice. Taryn had proceeded to put the final DVD on that they hadn’t finished watching the previous evening. "There’s only thirty minutes left."
Jace settled into the chair. Her mind wasn’t focused on the film, but on JJ’s conversation. She couldn’t believe that Taryn liked her, too. She was actually shocked. The blonde hadn’t given any indication that she found Jace attractive, or was in anyway interested in her. Jace couldn’t keep a little smile from edging her lips. She tried to work out how to approach Taryn. JJ had suggested she just kiss the woman, but that was going way beyond Jace’s comfort zone. She watched as the credits rolled. The film had been mildly entertaining, and there had been a cute blonde. But overall, it hadn’t challenged Jace’s mental ability. She watched the change of scene as Taryn switched off the movie, and saw the crowd accumulating in Time Square. She listened as the reporter and cameraman zoomed in on the ball, which was on top of the building. She looked over at Taryn. "Would you mind if I put some music on in the background? I could probably give you the script word for word about what he’s talking about. It’s always the same!"
Taryn nodded her agreement. "I know what you mean. It’s one of the things I enjoyed about living in Ireland; there was always a good party in the local pub on New Year’s Eve. No driving needed, as the pub was only down the road. I know Cory misses the pub community. People always assume it’s just because the cultures drink a lot, which they probably do, but there’s more to it. It’s like a second home and a place to talk with people about your problems, day at work, or just to pass their free time in."
"What did you do last year?" Jace asked out of curiosity.
"Marti arranged a gathering of our friends. We watched movies, had a few beers, and basically played games. It was nice, I guess. What did you do?"
Jace smiled. "Take a guess?"
"Stayed at Jane’s?"
"Exactly! Am I that predictable?"
Taryn nodded compassionately. "Only when it comes to holidays or special occasions."
Jace had an idea and jumped up. "Okay, if you could have your dream date. What would you want to be doing this time on New Year’s Eve?"
Taryn thought about the question carefully. "That’s a tough one. I don’t really want to dwell on it, as it reminds me how lonely I am. But I guess if I had to think about it, I’d be dancing slowly with my date. How about you?"
Jace shrugged her shoulders. "I’ve never thought about it…but I guess dancing would be nice." She clicked the remote control, switching the CD player on. The sultry tones of Eva Cassidy wafted into the living room. "Would you like to dance with me, Taryn?"
Taryn looked at Jace’s offered hand, and took it gently. "Sure." She stepped into Jace’s arms and felt the woman pull her close. Both women listened to the slow melody, and swayed in time to the music. Taryn enjoyed losing herself in the moment. One song became three, and soon Taryn was nestled in the crook of Jace’s neck. The musky, vanilla scent that was Jace seeped into her nostrils and lingered on her clothes. She glanced at the television screen. "Hey there. The countdown has begun. Are you ready?" She felt Jace’s head rise off of her shoulder.
"Sure. Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…" Jace mumbled watching the numbers flash on the screen.
"Five…four…three…two…one. Happy New Year, Jace." Taryn said.
"Happy New Year, Taryn." Jace bent down and kissed Taryn on the cheek.
Taryn didn’t let go of Jace’s hand and body. She could still feel the tingle of the kiss on her cheek. She was unsure whether to proceed with what her mind was yelling at her to do. Kiss her! Just stand up straight and kiss her! She looked into tumultuous, swirling blue eyes. She saw the uncertainty shining back at her. She knew Jace had no experience in areas of romance. Did she really want to get into a relationship with someone who had no experience?
Jace was in turmoil. She could see straight into Taryn’s soul. Her eyes were boring into Jace’s confused blue ones. She couldn’t work out if Taryn was just lonely and with her for comfort, or whether she was really interested. She remembered JJ’s words. Just kiss the girl! With every second that passed, their heads came closer together. Jace tried to control her body, but it was all so new to her. She felt a tremble travel down her spine and into her legs. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She needed some control.
Tentatively at first, Taryn took the lead and pulled Jace’s head even closer. She looked at Jace’s closed eyes, licked her lips, and then closed the final distance between Jace’s lips and hers.
Jace’s mind exploded. Stars burst in her brain. She tried to make sense of the overwhelming emotions rushing through her body. Her knees shuddered, and she felt Taryn tighten her grip on her body. Jace could feel Taryn’s teeth gently graze across her bottom lip. She opened her mouth even more, moving on instinct alone, and felt Taryn’s tongue hesitantly explore her mouth. Finally, when she couldn’t control the racing of her heart, and had no strength left in her legs, she pulled away from Taryn. Her breathing had become labored, and her body was quivering from head to toe.
Taryn smiled shyly at the response her kiss had received from Jace. "Happy New Year!"
Jace looked into the deep, dark eyes of the woman she was sure she loved. "I’m having a little déjà vu, as I’m sure we already did the Happy New Year sentiments."
Taryn pulled away. "We did. I was at a loss as to what to say…that kiss kind of rocked my socks."
"So, it was okay?"
"Yes! You have no catching up to do there." She looked at the innocent and loving face of the woman she was beginning to care for. She took Jace’s hand, and led her in the direction of the bedrooms.
Jace panicked when she saw where Taryn was leading her. Oh crap, I am not ready for this! Shit…tell her!
Taryn stopped in front of her temporary bedroom. She stood on tiptoes and began to kiss Jace goodnight, "Thank you, Jace. I had a perfect evening." She closed her eyes and continued to enjoy the kiss.
Jace couldn’t let Taryn go. She deepened the kiss, pulling Taryn to her. After a few moments of bliss, Jace gently broke off the kiss. "I’ve waited so long to do this with you. I’m glad you had a good evening, Taryn."
"I did, Jace. But we need to talk about this."
Jace held Taryn tightly in her arms. She breathed in the jasmine scent of Taryn’s shampoo, mixed with the smell of winter. "I know. But can it wait until tomorrow?" She saw Taryn nod her head. "Goodnight, Taryn."
Jace walked away from the blonde. In a way, she was relieved that the night hadn’t gone further, but she was somewhat disappointed that Taryn hadn’t stayed in the living room. She couldn’t believe how all her dreams had come true. She knew there was no way she was going to be sleeping any time soon.
**
Taryn tapped lightly on Jace’s door. She hadn’t slept very well, and had decided to get up and make breakfast. She tapped again and waited, but there were no sounds coming from her host’s bedroom. The house was spookily quiet, and Taryn found herself wandering into the kitchen. She saw the bottle of champagne on the counter. A smile reached her lips. They hadn’t remembered it. She took the bottle out of the cooler and placed it back on the rack. She turned and stood watching the fish swim aimlessly around the tank. Her mind drifted back to the night before. How had things changed between them? One minute they had been laughing and joking, the next dancing, and then kissing. The kiss had been more that Taryn had anticipated. Jace’s kiss had left tingles in places Taryn didn’t even think arousal was possible. She had also been amazed at her own lack of control, and how affected the normally stoic woman had been, as well. Taryn had felt the trembles, and had worried at one point that Jace would topple over. Turning away from the fish, Taryn went in search of food. She saw the latch turned up on the deck door, and immediately knew where Jace was. Taryn placed the bagels in the toaster, tapping her hands lightly on the counter. She switched on the local radio station, and began bopping to the latest chart tunes. A sultry voice interrupted her dancing.
"You look perky this morning?" Jace assessed Taryn’s mood. She didn’t know where to take the conversation. Her sleep had been brief and restless, the kiss fresh in her mind. When sleep had evaded her, she had risen and sat in the living room listening to the quiet, mournful tunes that had drifted out of her stereo in the dark of the night.
"Good morning. How did you sleep?"
Jace raised an eyebrow. "You even have to ask?"
Taryn smiled as she saw the exercise flushed face redden even more, "So, I’m guessing you slept as good as I did?"
Jace stretched her legs out, needing to do anything other than look at the younger woman. "Taryn, nobody sleeps as good as you do, except maybe Taylor. Don’t even pretend you didn’t sleep, I know you better!" She winked to show Taryn she was just fooling around.
Taryn poked her tongue out. "I’ll have you know, it took a little longer than usual for me to drop off. I had things on my mind."
Jace pulled out a stool, and picked up the water bottle she had filled earlier. She drank thirstily from the bottle, unsure of what to stay and wanting to stall the impending conversation. "These things you had on your mind…I think I have the same ones running through mine. Do you want to talk over breakfast?"
Taryn ruffled her own sleep-tousled hair. "Sure. I’ve toasted the bagels. I’ll get the cream cheese, and you’re in charge of the coffee. Deal?" She was pleased that Jace wasn’t acting all awkward around her. She had dealt with many uncomfortable morning-after experiences, and she had been worried that the friendship they had developed would be strained.
Jace placed the coffee pot on the counter and proceeded to get two mugs. She placed the mugs beside the pot, and collected the sugar and cream. She had given her feelings for Taryn a detailed analysis while she’d run. Her priority was to remain friends with Taryn, keep up a great working relationship, and anything more was a bonus in her eyes. She had sensed some hesitation on Taryn’s side to take the friendship further. After the initial kiss, Jace had expected Taryn to take the lead. When that lead had headed toward the bedroom, Jace had been shocked. But when Taryn had just said goodnight, Jace had begun to ask herself questions. She could tell by Taryn’s sobering mood that the imminent conversation was not going to be all she’d dreamed of. She watched as Taryn placed the bagels on a tray. She waited patiently as the blonde fussed around the counter tops, and finally relaxed when the grad assistant took a seat next to her at the counter.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Neither one knowing quite how to start the conversation. Out of the corner of her eye, Taryn watched Jace chew more of her bottom lip than the bagel. She put her half-eaten slice of bagel down, and grabbed hold of one of Jace’s hands. "Jace, I do like you. I really do."
A little shocked at the sudden outburst, Jace turned to face Taryn. "That’s good to know… except I sense a ‘but’ coming along."
Taryn nodded sadly, "But we can’t be together." She saw the forlorn look on Jace’s face. She lifted her hand to wipe a strand of sweat sodden hair off Jace’s forehead. "You have made this week so special for me. And if I’m honest, I do have feelings for you. I’m not going to pretend last night was a spur of the moment thing. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while."
Jace’s eyes brightened, all was not lost. She plucked up the courage to ask the question foremost on her mind. "But you don’t want to be more than friends?"
Taryn shook her head. "It’s not that easy, Jace. We’re not just two women meeting for the first time. We have the simple fact that you’re my boss and direct supervisor to consider. It could be awkward at work if people knew about us, and I’m not a person who likes to hide how I feel. You chewed Jane out when you found out she was my aunt. What was the quote, oh yeah ‘a conflict of interest’." She saw the sparkle in Jace’s eyes dull. She squeezed Jace’s fingers, trying to reassure the woman that she was feeling just as down about it as the woman beside her. She took a moment to consider things, and then continued with her reasons. "I’m also a student, Jace. I’m sure there must be rules about staff dating students."
Jace nodded. "There are, but I don’t think it really relates to us. I checked it out a little." She smiled guiltily at Taryn. "I…I wanted to know where I stood, if you ever felt the same way. It’s more a rule to protect undergraduates from faculty and staff. But you’re right about me being your supervisor." She felt the slight increase in Taryn’s supportive grasp. She looked into sad, puppy-dog eyes. "Taryn, I really like you. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m not good at expressing how I feel…but just for the moment, can you forget that I’m your supervisor, forget that you’re a student, and just look at me as a woman? Would you date me?"
Taryn pushed her stool away from the counter and stood up. She moved toward Jace, and slipped between the taller woman’s long legs. She kept hold of Jace’s hand, but with her other hand she gently stroked the striking face in front of her. "Jace, you’re probably the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. I’ve thought about this a lot, and my answer would still be no." She fought to keep Jace’s face still looking at her. She could tell the older woman was crestfallen. "Hey, let me explain. For starters, we both have pasts that we still need to deal with. Maybe that pertains to me more than you. I’ve never stood on my own, Jace. I’ve always run away. And as tempting as it is to run into your arms, I need to find out who I am." She felt the tiny nod of agreement against her hand. "I’m also just getting over a long-term relationship. It hasn’t even been two months since Marti and I split up. I’m not ready to be in another relationship. You don’t need my baggage."
"I understand." Jace whispered.
Taryn sucked in another deep breath. "There’s more."
Jace looked at Taryn, a puzzled expression on her face. "Wow, you really have analyzed this. You’ve already mentioned four reasons not to proceed."
Taryn lifted Jace’s chin so the dull blue eyes were looking straight at her. "My final reason is probably the most important. Jace, you’re new to all this and you need to investigate how you feel about women a little more. I think you need some time to understand what you’re getting into, and if it’s really what you want. I’m sorry. I’m probably being very selfish, but I don’t think I’d cope very well if we got involved, and then you rejected my lifestyle and me.
Jace fought the tears that threatened to fall. She had to be strong. She needed to keep her control. "But I am ready. I don’t need any time. I’ve thought of nothing but you for the past six months." She saw Taryn’s eyes widen in surprise.
"I’m flattered, Jace." Taryn could tell that Jace was beginning to get agitated with the situation. "I’m not rejecting you, Jace. I swear, if things were different…if I was in a different time or place, than I’d be jumping your bones right here and now." She saw a little spark ignite the fire in Jace’s eyes. "I just need time… and you need to date others." She lightly kissed Jace’s lips.
Jace was stunned at Taryn’s comment. "I don’t want to be with others. Taryn, I want you to be my first."
Taryn laughed when she heard the innocent words. "Jace, I said date, not sleep with them." She pulled the taller woman into her arms and hugged her fiercely. "Friends?" She pulled away, and looked into the deep cerulean eyes that looked back at her with such trust.
"Always." Jace snuggled her head into Taryn’s chest, enjoying the warmth Taryn’s body offered her slightly battered soul. I will win your heart, Taryn Murphy! I’ve waited thirty-five years; I can wait a few months. Jace silently vowed as she soaked up everything that Taryn had to offer.
**
Taryn picked up her cell phone and dialed her home number. The phone rang three times before she heard the perky tones of her British roommate. After checking that they were both up and around, Taryn grabbed her bags out of the trunk, and made her way down the pathway and into the apartment block. She opened the door, and saw two snuggled bodies reclining on the sofa. "Happy New Year." She said solemnly.
Cory lifted herself up and looked at her sad colleague. "From the look on your face, I’d say it’s anything but happy. What’s wrong?"
Taryn shrugged her bag off her shoulder, and flopped onto the loveseat. "My whole life sucks! I think I just broke the heart of the most gorgeous woman that walks this planet."
Cory peeled herself off JJ and walked over to her friend. "What happened?"
Taryn rubbed her tear stained eyes. "She kissed me, I kissed her…then I told her we couldn’t be a couple. Now she hates me!"
Cory took her friend into her arms. "I’m sure hate is too strong a word. Look, tell me exactly what happened and we’ll go from there."
JJ stood up. "Hey, I’ll leave you two girls to your chatting. I’m going to drop over and say hello to my dad. Is that okay, Cory?"
"Are you sure you want to go on your own?"
JJ looked from Taryn to Cory. "I think Taryn would appreciate some Cory time. I’ll be back later. I’ll grab us some dinner on the way home." JJ grabbed her keys and headed out of the door. It didn’t take long before she arrived at her destination. She slammed the truck door, and proceeded up the pathway. Hesitantly, she knocked on the door.
Jace clambered off the sofa and went to see who was knocking at her door on New Year’s Day. Surprised at the presence of the woman who stood on her doorstep, she opened the screen door. "Hey, JJ. What did she forget?"
JJ shuffled her feet. "She didn’t forget anything. I thought you might need a friendly face, or someone to yell at. I kind of feel guilty…I feel like I pushed you into it."
Jace moved away from the door. "Come in."
The two dark-haired women made their way into Jace’s kitchen. "She didn’t waste any time telling you the details, I see."
JJ took her jacket off and hung it on the back of a stool. "Cory’s very persuasive. I didn’t get the whole conversation. Taryn was a little upset. She seems to be under the impression she’s broken your heart." JJ tried to assess Jace’s mood, and then decided to just find out the answers to her questions. "So, you kissed her?"
Jace looked at JJ’s concerned face. "Yes. Well, I kissed her on the cheek. She followed up with a kiss on the mouth."
"What happened next?" JJ asked as she peeled a few grapes that were in the fruit basket in front of her.
Jace dropped onto the stool. "We went to bed…in separate rooms. This morning, she told me we couldn’t date because I’m her boss, she’s a student, she’s also on the rebound, she needs her own space …and more importantly I’m inexperienced." Jace held her head in one hand, as she used the fingers on her other hand to emphasize the five reasons.
"I’m sorry, Jace. I was so certain she liked you."
Jace thought about the question, "She did say she liked me…a lot. I’m just so confused. It’s not your fault JJ. If it had been left to me, I would have probably watched Taryn walk out of my life forever. At least I know she likes me."
JJ tapped the countertop, "She has a point, Jace. It’s no fun being caught on the rebound. I’ve been there, and so have some of my friends. You always worry that the person is dreaming or thinking about their previous partner. As for the boss issue, there’s nothing you can do about that. I have to say; it’s probably not a major reason for why she’s stalling. I think she’s scared."
"Scared of what?"
"You." JJ leaned back against the stool.
"Why, me?" Jace asked inquisitively.
"Jace, it doesn’t take a genius to work out you haven’t dated much, am I right?" She saw the nod of the head. "If I’ve understood the brief conversations here and there, I’m guessing Taryn’s been around the block once or twice." Again Jace nodded in response. "She’s already done the whole dating game, and gone through the learning experiences associated with being out on the scene. I know from talking with Taryn that she wants to settle down, and finally belong somewhere."
"But, I want that, too…with her."
"Then show her. She needs to know you’re willing to do anything to be with her. What did she say to you?"
Jace’s spirits brightened. "She said she needed time and space, and I needed to date people. The latter I’m not too happy about. So, what do I do?"
"You show her you’re in this for the long term. Jace, if you’re willing to listen to my advice, I may be able to help you. Usually I don’t meddle in other people’s business, but I care for Taryn and I like you."
"I’m listening." Jace paused, unsure whether to risk telling JJ exactly how inexperienced she was. In the end she decided honesty was the best policy. "JJ, when I say I have little experience…I really mean I have none."
JJ grinned at Jace compassionately. "I kind of figured that one out last night." She saw Jace’s raised eyebrow. "When you asked me how you’d know if she liked your kiss. Jace, if it’s any consolation, I don’t think Taryn’s problem is with the physical aspect of your experience. It’s more to do with the whole feeling comfortable and knowing how to play the dating game."
"Okay. I’m not exactly sure what you mean, but I’m all ears. I appreciate this, JJ. I’ve tried talking to Jane, but she did say that there might be differences between straight and gay dating. You know, some weird sub-culture within the lesbian world that neither of us understood."
JJ chewed on a grape. "There is. Okay, let me see if I can explain what I perceive the problem to be. I’ve always known I was gay, but I still dabbled in the straight world when I was growing up. I dated the occasional boy now and again, I even slept with one." She pulled a face as she said the words, making Jace smile for the first time since she’d arrived. "But then I decided to experiment, and I dated women. It was very different and more to my liking. I ended up in a serious relationship with a woman who wasn’t sure about her sexuality. To cut a long story short, she left me for a guy. Damn near broke my heart. It took me a long time to recover, but I did and I dated other women. I was never the same again, though. I always protected my feelings and picked safe women. Women I knew liked me more than I liked them. I even settled down with Sarah, knowing that I didn’t love her as much as I’d loved Tina." JJ continued to fiddle with the fruit in front of her. Talking about her own emotions wasn’t what she did best.
"What happened then?" Jace asked. She had been out with JJ a few times, and this was the longest amount of time she’d heard JJ speak.
"Then the Cory-effect happened. I met her and she blew me away, heart and soul. But she was married. I’d fallen for what I perceived to be a straight woman, again. It took a great leap of faith and a lot of trust for me to really believe Cory wanted to be with a woman. We’ve talked about it, and I know she dated a woman before Sam. I also know that Cory has dated a lot of men. But this has helped confirm that she likes women. It scares me every day that Cory may go back to being with a man, but I have to trust her not to hurt me. I think Taryn’s problem is she was hurt by someone, and isn’t prepared to believe that you know how you feel. She’s never doubted her own sexuality. She’s never dated men. You, my friend, are a complete mystery to her."
"So, what you’re saying is I should try the dating game to make sure I really am interested in Taryn?"
"Kind of. I have no doubt you really do like her. But it’s a bit like chocolate. I like all kinds of chocolate, but certain types of chocolate catch my liking more than others. Now, if Cory wants to buy me chocolate, she always buys me my favorite brand, which is M&Ms. In terms of women, Cory’s my M&M of women. I like all women, and particular women catch my interest, but only Cory is what I always want."
"So, how does that help me with Taryn?"
"You have to make yourself her special brand of chocolate. If I’m right, and I don’t profess to be an expert, I imagine she’s either expecting you to be very hurt, maybe even distant, or she probably expects you to ignore what she said and try even harder to pursue her. Rule number one of Dating 101, you will do exactly what she says, but make sure you keep her informed. The one thing women can’t deal with is jealousy."
Jace grabbed JJ a soda out of the fridge and some chips from the cupboard. "I think I’m beginning to understand. It’s a little reverse psychology?"
"That’s it. The most important thing Taryn needs to see is you aren’t going anywhere. Be her friend, Jace. Continue to hang out with her, but also ask her advice on dating. Try out a few dates. There’s nothing wrong with taking other women out, and it may help you to see how you feel. Is it Taryn, or the idea of being with a woman that excites you? Just keep Taryn informed. It’ll drive her crazy!" JJ wiggled her eyebrows. "One more thing, if Taryn or Cory find out about this conversation, I’ll be toast!"
"I swear, JJ. This conversation doesn’t leave my kitchen. Thank you, though. I really am feeling a lot better." Jace leaned back against the stool trying to assimilate all the information Jace had given her, and a plan began to formulate in her mind.
***
Taryn walked into the quiet Center. It was weird seeing the normally bustling place so desolate. The usual hum of industriously working students was gone, and in its place was the quiet hush of whispered voices. She checked her watch. Jane had asked that all grad assistants report to work by nine o’clock, the second day of the New Year. Taryn had come in earlier on the off chance of seeing Jace before they got caught up in all the pre-spring semester business. She continued toward her office area, saying hello or wishing those she met a Happy New Year. She paused in front of the closed wooden door. Jace’s Jeep had been in its usual parking spot. She listened carefully at the door, when she heard the shuffling of paper. She tentatively knocked on the door.
"Come in." Jace’s deep, serious tones instructed.
Taryn pushed the door open and consciously placed a smile on her face, hoping to disguise the nervous tension she felt. "Hey."
Jace smiled when she saw Taryn. She had missed the blonde’s presence in her life. Twenty-four hours could be a long time when you missed the very essence of someone. "Hey yourself. What have you bought me for breakfast?" Her eyes indicated to the brown bag Taryn was carrying.
Taryn released the breath she’d been holding. She had expected to find Jace harboring some animosity toward her, or even a depressed persona. But in front of her, was the usual cheery Jace she had come to know so well.
"Who says I’ve brought anything for you?" Taryn teased. She was delighted to see a sparkle in Jace’s eyes.
"Because you’re a creature of habit, and you want to make sure your boss is a happy woman!" She wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
Taryn placed the bag on Jace’s desk. "I got toasted bagels. Donuts are too unhealthy, and my New Year’s resolution is to eat a much healthier diet. I’m even considering joining a gym!"
Jace laughed and openly appraised Taryn. "There is nothing wrong with your body, Taryn. So, because you’re on a healthy diet regime, I have to be? No fair! I run four miles a day. I deserve my donut!" She stuck out her bottom lip and pretended to pout.
"Suck it up! You can do breakfast every other day, and we can have donuts when you’re buying!" Taryn handed one of the bagels and cup of coffee to Jace.
Jace watched as Taryn smeared her bagel with cream cheese. She snorted in disbelief, when she saw the blonde cover every available bit of bagel.
"What?" Taryn asked, taking a huge bite of the bagel.
Jace lightly creamed her own bagel. "I was just amused at how much cream cheese you used. You might as well have had the donut, because there’s a ton of fat in cream cheese."
Taryn poked out her tongue. "Smarty pants!" She relaxed in her chair, pleased that Jace was in a good mood.
Jace chewed thoughtfully on her food. She had spent a lonely evening analyzing JJ’s advice. The hockey player had made a certain amount of sense. She just needed to put her plan into action. When she’d finished eating, she looked at Taryn. The grad assistant’s lips were edged with cream cheese, and Jace had the sudden desire to lick those remnants away. The memory of Taryn’s kisses was seared permanently on her brain. "Thank you for breakfast, Taryn. I was a little worried that my declaration would have sent you running." Jace said in a hushed manner. She knew work was not the time to be having the discussion. However, she needed to know how Taryn felt, and was unsure when they’d have time alone.
Taryn looked at Jace’s sincere expression. She wanted to take Jace in her arms and show her how important she was. "Not as pleased as I was to see you smile at me. I was worried you’d hate me. The first time you open your heart to someone, and they hand it back."
Jace nodded glumly. "That’s life. But you didn’t rip it up or tear it out; maybe it got a little bruised. You actually gave me a little hope. I thought about what you said, and I think I do need to get out there and date. I was wondering if you knew of any places or ways I could go about doing this."
Taryn’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head! She hadn’t expected Jace to follow her advice, and had thought the tall woman might continue to avoid other women. Even though she had suggested Jace date, the little green-eyed monster reared its head. In a perverse way, Taryn had enjoyed being the object of Jace’s desire. She swallowed her pride, and grinned falsely at the other women. "That’s great, Jace. We’re heading down to watch JJ play again on Saturday. If you want to, you can join us. We’ll probably end up in the same bar." Taryn commented. "I think your first outing into the world of dating should be supervised, don’t you?"
Jace pretended to give the suggestion some thought. She had noticed the look of shock in Taryn’s eyes, and detected a hint of irritation in the younger woman’s tone. Go JJ! Okay rule number one completed. Now I need to find out what rule number two is. Time to make a phone call!
***
Jane surveyed her friend. "Remind me again why we’re doing this?"
"To win Taryn’s heart." Jace said in a frustrated manner.
Jane listened to the aggravated tone in Jace’s voice. "But how does openly dating women get you Taryn?"
"I have to show her I like women. I figured I’d try and get a few women interested in me. We’d go out a few times, and this will do two things. First, it’ll show Taryn that I’ve dated, and second, the jealousy will force her to admit she likes me."
Jane laughed out loud. "How in the hell did you come up with that idea? A few weeks ago, the mere thought of talking to a woman scared the crap out of you."
Jace pulled her jeans up over her long tanned legs. "It’s rule number one of dating lesbians, or so a little bird told me." She saw Jane’s questioning look. "Hey, ask no questions and I’ll tell no lies. Okay, what top should I wear?"
Jane assessed the tops scattered across Jace’s bed. "It depends. What image are you going for?"
The tall woman looked at her colleague. "I don’t know. I want to appear sexy, but I want to be comfortable. It’s damn cold in that rink. I’d usually wear a sweater, but I don’t want to become a wallflower. The whole idea is to attract a woman." Jace held several tops up to model.
Jane threw her hands in the air. "When are you going to realize how god damn sexy you are" You’d turn heads if you showed up in a Hessian sack. Personally, I like you casual. How about the blue hooded sweatshirt, over a white t-shirt? At least you’d be warm. Your hair looks awesome with the wax in it. It emphasizes the black, and adds body to the curls. Oh…and put your black boots on, too." She watched as Jace followed her instructions. "Good. Looking sexy. Okay, time to try out some moves. Give me a ‘come on’ look."
Jace raised both eyebrows. "A What?"
Jane laughed impishly, "Pretend I’m a woman." She saw the arched brows rise a little higher. "I mean, pretend I’ve caught your eye. How are you going to get my attention?"
Jace considered the question. "I don’t know. I’d probably try to make eye contact, maybe smile." She practiced the subtle eye contact with a rakish smile. "How was that?"
"Pretty good. Okay, you’ve got my attention. Now what?"
"I don’t know."
Jane shook her head. Her friend really was a novice. "Ask her to dance." She saw Jace’s eyes widen. "Just like you did with me. And you said you danced with Taryn on New Year’s Eve."
Jace paled. "But, with you I feel safe. You’re allowed within my comfort zone. As for Taryn, I wanted her to be that close, but I had trouble controlling myself. I don’t want to give these women the wrong impression. I mean, I want them to be interested, but I have no intention of leading them on. If I get too close, they may try to kiss me!" Jace exclaimed.
"Calm down. Practice with me. Use this time to see what feels right and what feels wrong. Jace, you’ll probably end up leading. Your height and strength makes that inevitable, but you have to believe you can do it. If you try it out here, you’ll be more confident when you do it for real."
Jace put a compilation CD into the stereo and drew Jane into her arms. After a few songs, and a little coaching from Jane, she felt more certain of her own capabilities.
"Okay, stud. I have to get going. I expect a detailed report in the morning, okay?" Jane reached up and kissed Jace on the cheek.
"Okay, boss. I’ll keep you posted."
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