"Are you sure you're okay, Maddie?" Anabel asked, gently applying an ice-filled washcloth to my face.

"I'll live," I mumbled, still embarrassed.

"You're gonna have a shiner."

"Great."

She chuckled and padded into the kitchen, leaving me sprawled out on the sofa. I craned my neck around and watched as she attempted to salvage a few of the flowers I'd mangled with my incredibly suave blunder.

At least she hadn't thrown me out, although that might have been easier on my ego. It kinda irked me that even now I could still hear her emit the occasional snicker. I didn't think it was funny at all; it had been painful and humiliating.

"You want something to drink, Maddie?"

"Sure."

She ambled over and sat down next to me, prompting me to scoot over by bumping her hips into my waist. "Here," she said, offering me a Mountain Dew.

"Thanks."

"Feeling a little better?"

"I guess."

A snicker that I tried my best to ignore. "Alright then, let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"You came over here to apologize didn't you?"

"Yes, I came to grovel."

"Good. Let me hear some groveling."

I sighed.

"I'm waiting."

"Isn't it enough I've already embarrassed myself?"

She made a production out of pretending to think. "I dunno."

"How about if I just said I was really sorry and would never do anything like it again?"

"Hmmm. I can almost believe the sorry part."

I thought fast. "Okay, how about this? I promise to try my best not to do anything like it again."

"You're getting there."

"Geez, I'm not very good at this. It's my first time."

"First time for what?"

"Groveling."

"God, no wonder you're still single."

I went limp in exasperation. "Don't I get any points for effort?"

"A couple maybe. Let me do the math," she said, bringing a finger up to her lips thoughtfully. "You get a few points just for the dress, and I'll add a few more for the flowers. Unfortunately, I'll have to deduct some for the really pathetic apology. Then I'll have to take away a bunch because I had to prod you for the apology. Of course, you didn't bring chocolates, another subtraction…"

I began to wonder why I wasn't attracted to men.

"… It's looking pretty grim, but I'll add a heap of points just because you managed to live through the mortification of taking a fall into the doorframe and smashing all my roses…"

Take me now, God.

"…So in the final tally, I figure you come out ahead by less than a point and I'll forgive you," she said with determined nod.

I smiled. "Really?"

"This one time and only if you kiss me."

"Deal," I said immediately, sitting up excitedly. "You wanna little tongue with that?"

She gaped at me and then rolled her eyes. "Just a smooch will do."

"Okay," I said, leaning forward to receive a quick, but very sweet, peck on the lips.

"That was nice, thank you," she said shyly, abruptly hopping up from the couch and returning to the kitchen. "I still have some pizza left over from lunch. Would you like some?"

"Okay," I said, a foolish grin slowly fading from my face.

She puttered about for a few minutes and when she returned, much to my dismay, she handed me a plate and took a seat in the armchair, instead of on the couch next to me as I had hoped.

I nibbled on my pizza, unable to keep from staring at her as I ate. I bet she had no idea how cute she was. "You're very pretty," I said, shocking myself by voicing what I'd been thinking.

The slice of pizza in her hand stopped halfway to her mouth and she cast the most bashful look I've ever seen in my direction.

"Thank you," she mumbled, quickly looking away.

A dumbshit smile came to my face. I didn't want the moment to end so I sorted through my encyclopedia of charming anecdotes, and settling on one, opened my mouth to speak. As usual, the powers that be rained on my parade and the ringing of my cell phone ruined the opportunity. Irritated, I dug it out of my jacket.

"Ledoux."

"Hey, Maddie," Billy said.

"I hope this is important. I'm kinda busy."

"It is. Tish Binkowski just took a bullet."

I froze. "Is she dead?"

"Yeah, on my way to the scene now. Wanna meet me there?"

"Yes, where?"

"She was shot at home."

"I'm on my way."

"See ya in a few."

I hung up the phone, angry with myself for not dropping in on the Binkowskis this afternoon like I had planned. Instead, I'd been sulking and now another person was dead. Not that I was all torn up about it, but if Tish were murdered by the same gun that killed Gus, I'd missed out on a golden opportunity for possible information.

"You've got to go?" Anabel asked, and I turned to find a disappointed frown on her face.

"Uhm… yeah. I'm really sorry."

"Did someone die?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Tish Binkowski."

She gasped. "That nice lady I met over at Gus's?"

"I'm afraid so," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry, but I've got to rocket."

"Okay," she mumbled grumpily.

"Uhm… do you have some clothes I could borrow?"

She chewed on her lip for a second. "I'll go find something for you," she said, and turned to rush down the hall.

I wasn't able to stand still so I paced around the living room until she returned and handed me a bundle of clothes. "Your feet are bigger than mine, I don't have anything in the way of shoes that'll fit you except a pair of boots."

"Anything will be fine."

"Be right back," she said, rushing back down the hall.

I shrugged out of my dress, letting it fall to the floor as I shook a pair of neon pink sweats out of the bundle Anabel had given me. Neon pink, for Christ's sake. The shirt was even worse, but I put it on anyway. Anabel returned as I was getting into a pair of socks and dumped a pair of combat boots in front of me. I sighed. Billy was gonna have a fit when I showed up at his crime scene in pink sweats, combat boots, and a bright yellow T-shirt with Smurfs on it.

I stood up after I got into the boots and she laughed at me. "You look retarded."

I sighed again and slipped into my jacket. "Thanks a lot. Did you dress me this way on purpose?"

"Of course not. I just grabbed the first things I thought might fit you."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and received another snicker.

"Maddie, give me a call when you get home, okay?" she asked, shuffling her feet a little.

"Uhm… I don't have your number."

"Oh," she said, grabbing her purse from the coffee table and digging through it to produce a pen. Instead of searching for a piece of paper, she reached out and grabbed my hand, writing the number on the back. "There you go," she said with an impish smile.

It was corny, but it kinda thrilled me. "Thanks," I said, knowing I had a mushy look on my face.

She leaned forward and placed a lightning fast kiss on my lips followed by a little shove in the direction of the door. "Be on your way."

I giggled and turned to make my way out of the house.

Billy was out front talking to a few of the uniformed fellas when I arrived. He broke away from them when I parked and walked over to meet me. He stopped a few feet away and leveled an amused look at me.

"What the fuck, Maddie? I didn't think you went if for the gay militant thing."

"Just spare me and give me the details, okay?"

He chuckled. "Large caliber wound to the abdomen. Ballistics will need to verify, but I'll reckon it's the gun we're looking for."

"Shit. I was planning on talking to her today and I didn't make it out here."

"Why not?" he asked, a knowing smile bearing down on me.

The grin gave him away. "Like you don't know?"

"Alright," he said around a snicker. "I'll let it go for the moment."

"Gee, thanks."

"Think nothing of it."

"I won't. Was Sidney here when it happened?"

"She was home alone. It was the staff's night off and Sidney was at a business meeting."

"He here now?"

"Yeah, he's in his office. I've got a couple of fellas looking after him, he's pretty distraught."

"Who found her?"

"Sidney did."

"Christ."

"Yep. You ready?"

"Yeah, let's take a look."

I followed him into the house and up a flight of stairs, as we entered the master bedroom he gave me a nudge.

"Watch your feet, it's pretty messy."

I nodded as he walked across the room and pushed open the bathroom door.

"In here. She was shot as she got out of the shower."

I approached and surveyed the interior from the doorway. A walk-in shower was situated in the corner next to a whirlpool bath. The corpse lay in the middle of white-tiled floor in an impressive pool of blood. I stepped inside carefully, circling the congealing puddle until I got a picture of the room as a whole.

On one side of the shower an exit-wound splatter stained the wall, and there were several smears in the blood where she had apparently struggled until death came for her.

"I agree. She was probably shot the second she stepped out."

"I place the shooter in front of the vanity."

I cast another look inside the shower and frowned. "If I remember right, Tish was about my size, right?"

"Pretty close, yeah."

I gingerly stepped into the shower doorway, glancing behind me to make sure I was positioned correctly. "Billy, go stand where you think the shooter stood."

He tiptoed over and shot me a curious look. "Whatcha thinkin', Maddie?"

"I'm thinking you stand about six foot tall."

"And?"

"That's about average height for most guys, isn't it?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Shoot me in the belly."

He extended his arm, pointing a finger at me. "Bang."

I stepped to the side. "Now look behind me."

"The splatter doesn't line up. She was shot at angle."

"Exactly. Now take a seat on top of the vanity and do the same thing."

He hopped up to sit down and we went through the scene again. "Well, shit. So the shooter had to be about six and half feet tall or they jumped up on the damn counter and waited for her to get out of the shower."

"It was the counter. They wanted a comfortable seat for the show."

"The show?"

"The shooter likes to watch them suffer. He gets off on it."

He shook his head in disgust. "God."

"No shit."

"Did you wanna talk to Sidney?"

"Nah, the questions I want answers to would be hard to hear right now," I said. "However, you might let him know that I'll call on him soon."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna talk to Larry Merchant tomorrow."

He took a deep breath. "That's a potential shitstorm, Maddie."

"Probably."

"He's not gonna talk about his clients, and if you piss him off, you can wave goodbye to your PI license."

"He'll talk."

"Oh? Why would he do that?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I asked, giving him a look.

He met my eyes, knowing where I was going. Joey. "No, I don't."

"There it is then."

He nodded. "Wanna tell me where ya got the shiner?"

"No."

"Did she slug you?"

"No!" I said, placing my hands on my hips.

He chuckled and dipped his head, zeroing in on something. "Is that her phone number on your hand?"

Goddamn it. "No."

"Don't ever run for office, Maddie," he said, grinning. "So why are you dressed up like Richard Simmons playing GI Joe?"

I rolled my eyes. "Isn't there something you should be doing?"

He looked at his watch. "It can wait."

"Not that long."

He snickered. "Fine, but I'll find out sooner or later."

"Sadly, that's probably true."

His radio barked. "Forensics just arrived."

"Copy, on the way," he replied.

"I need to lead them back here. Wanna wait or come with me?"

"I'll hang out."

"Be right back," he said, turning to amble out the door and leaving me alone with the late Tish Binkowski.

My eyes strayed to the body and I shook my head in wonder. The bogus boobs were indeed a sight to behold. They were as sturdy as the Himalayas and completely unaffected by gravity. A thought suddenly struck me. A sick, perverse thought that disgusted me even as I battled with the undeniable curiosity that gave birth to it. It was disrespectful, twisted, and gross, but I just had to know what a phony hooter felt like.

I looked to make sure the coast was clear, and crept up to within arms reach of my target. I had a hard time believing that I was even considering it. The poor woman was lying dead on the floor and I was thinking about feeling her up. I couldn't help myself. Knowing that I'd later be roasting in Hell for it, I reached out and hesitantly lay a hand on one of her breasts.

I'll be damned.

Voices in the next room sent me flying backward in a panic and I hurriedly tried to assume a nonchalant expression. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror and I was horrified to see a crimson face staring back at me glowing with shame. I could get caught diddling myself in church and not look as guilty as I did now. Loser, was too good a word for me.

Billy came into the room leading several guys and one woman. All of them instantly went about their work and none of them spared me anything more than a passing glance.

"You okay, Maddie?" Billy asked. "You look a little strange."

"Uhm… I'm just a little tired is all."

"Huh. You all done in here?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to walk you out?"

"Nah, I can find my way."

"Alright, gimme a call tomorrow."

"Okay. 'Night, Billy."

"Goodnight."

I brushed past him with a punch to his arm and escaped into the bedroom, letting out a giant breath of relief. All the way to the car, I berated myself for being a hopeless, depraved pervert.

When I got home, I shuffled into the bedroom and flopped down on my bed, a million things spiraling around in my head. My spirit guide told me the road that led to the killer had a lot to do with Tish Binkowski. But where did Gus come in? There was absolutely nothing substantial I could point to that connected Tish to Gus other than a dinner party. Was there more going on between them than met the eye? I doubted it.

A theory, or at least the vague outline of a theory, began to form. There wasn't a pimp on the planet that would cough up the kind of cash it would take to acquire the services of a shyster like Lawrence Merchant on behalf of a smalltime hooker. They would let her burn, secure in the knowledge that were plenty of other women to exploit. Tish knew something. She knew something important enough to keep her out of jail, and dangerous enough to eventually get her killed. That pointed to someone with clout and the obvious suspect was Sabrina DiCarlo.

She was the only one that had a possible motive for both murders. Maybe she figured Gus was getting too close and maybe she could no longer trust Tish to keep her mouth shut. It was all conjecture, but I could feel it in my teeth that Sabrina came into play somewhere in the middle of this mess.

I rubbed my eyes and winced as I came into contact with my contusion. The heat of embarrassment rose to my face at the memory of how I got it, and I turned my hand over to smile at the number written on the back. I reached for the phone.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's Maddie."

"Hey, you get home?"

"Yep."

"How's the shiner?"

"Growing."

She giggled. "I'm sure it won't be too bad."

"I hope not," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it. You're pretty enough most people won't notice."

I smiled slyly. "You think so?"

"Yep. Would you like to try and get together again for lunch?"

I considered. "How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll cook."

"Hmmm. What time?"

"Six okay?"

"I don't get off until six. The guy that works nights comes in then. Seven would be better."

"That's okay too. Want me to pick you up?"

"Nah, I'll get over there. I don't want to depend on you for a ride home if you make me mad."

I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at it.

She laughed. "I was just kidding."

"Does that mean you need a ride or what?" I asked irritably.

"Don't get ugly," she scolded. "And no, I don't need a ride."

"Hmph."

"Are you really going to cook for me?"

"Well, yeah. Did you think I was going to invite you over for dinner and then take you to McDonald's?"

A chuckle. "Cooking wasn't on the resume presented to me when I was being coerced into giving you a shot at dating me."

There were a lot of things in that sentence to be upset about, but I focused on the one that bothered me the most. "A resume!" I practically shouted, sitting up straight.

A musical cackle greeted me on the other end. "What can I say? You were a hard sell."

I fumed. "Tell me you're kidding."

"Okay," she snickered. "There wasn't a resume, but your lack of homemaking skills were brought to my attention."

I groaned. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Depends."

"Could you please cut down on the amount of information you give out? I'm picked on enough already."

"Aww, poor baby," she cooed. "They just love you."

"Uh huh. They're dreadful gossips and I'm tired of being a source of amusement for them."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'd appreciate it."

"How much?" she asked quietly.

An eyebrow rose. "A lot."

"Hmmm. On that note, I think I should say goodnight."

"Killjoy."

"We'll see, bye Maddie."

"Bye."

I fell on to my back and stared at the ceiling, a warm, and very welcome sensation starting in my toes slowly working its way upward. I basked in it for as long as I could make it last. Finally, I rose with a sigh and made tracks for the box of files I'd gotten from Billy. It was time to become acquainted with the DiCarlo's.

II

I rose the next morning with a mission; I was dressed, armed, and ready for battle by nine. Why nine? Because trial lawyers didn't work before nine unless they had court, or there was someone to rape. I punched a number into the phone and waited through four rings.

"Merchant law office, may I help you?"

"This is Mary Martin with the DA's office. Is Larry in this morning?"

"Yes, Mary. He's in the office until eleven today. Would you like me to connect you?"

"No, thank you."

I disconnected and hurried out to the car. I was happy. It wasn't everyday I got to threaten a lawyer. I could tell I already hated him. Judging from what little I knew about him, I figured him for a complete asshole. The kind of hypocrite that preaches justice and the rule of law in public, but in actuality practiced greed, manipulation, treachery, and self-indulgence. In other words, your typical Democrat. He was probably a child molester to boot.

It took me almost thirty minutes to get across town and when I arrived, my opinion of the man only fell a little further. His offices could only be described as decadent. No doubt paid for by stepping on the necks of those he perceived beneath him. Which, in his opinion, was probably everybody. I parked the car on the street and walked briskly up the stairs to enter a snobbishly decorated lobby with two-inch thick maroon carpeting.

A secretary sitting behind an arrogant, polished mahogany desk glanced up and leveled an almost contemptuous look at me as I approached.

"May I help you?"

"I'd like to see Mr. Merchant, please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Nope."

"I see. Mr. Merchant isn't in right now, but I can schedule an appointment for you if you'd like?"

I whipped out my ID. "I know he's here, and I won't take no for an answer."

She didn't even look at it. "Mr. Merchant is in court this morning. Would you like to make an appointment?"

"Mr. Merchant doesn't have court until eleven, and if you mention an appointment one more time, I'll break my foot off in your ass."

She was cool one. "I'm afraid I can't help you," she said, not missing a beat. "Mr. Merchant is in court."

"Hi, this is Mary Martin with the DA's office."

She glanced at me sharply.

"Can we cut through the bullshit now? Just take me to his office."

"I'll see if he'll admit you," she said, reaching out for the phone.

I reached across the desk and placed my hand on it before she got there. "It would be to your advantage to just show me the way."

"And why would that be to my advantage?"

I had to hand it to her, she was a tough cookie. "Because if I have to go looking by myself, I'll handcuff you to your chair."

She spent a few seconds studying me and finally rose to her feet. "Follow me, please."

"But, of course."

I trailed after her and pursed my lips; she had the hindquarters of a thoroughbred. Too bad she was only moderately attractive. My eyes strayed to take in my surroundings.

"You know, this place is shamelessly huge for just one guy."

"He's a very good attorney. You'll end up regretting this I'm sure."

"You must be sleeping with him."

She shot a poisonous look over her shoulder.

"That's what I thought," I said smugly.

I didn't get a response, but the sudden stiffness in her walk was all the satisfaction I needed.

We came to a halt a second later and she knocked on a huge set of double doors.

"Come."

I followed her into the office to confront a surprisingly handsome, well-built man standing in front of his desk reading through paperwork.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Merchant. This woman insisted on seeing you. Would you like me to phone the police?"

He walked around his desk with a practiced elegance and took up his chair. Studying me with interest before he spoke.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Thank you, Susan."

She gave me another look full of venom on her way out.

I found a seat in front of his desk and returned the scrutiny being directed at me. He sure wasn't hard to look at with dark, intelligent eyes and hair to match. He was pretty enough to be one of those Hollywood sissy boys.

"And you are?" he asked.

"Maddie Ledoux."

"How can I help you?"

"I'm a private detective and would like to hear all about your dealings with Tish Binkowski."

He smiled. "I don't know a Tish Binkowski and you know I can't discuss clients."

"You can and you will."

"Are you threatening me?"

"At this time, I'm just asking."

He leaned back in his chair and spoke condescendingly. "I don't know who you think you are, but you're way out of your league here. If you get up right now and leave this office, I'll pretend this never happened."

"And if I don't?"

"Don't force me into anything, Miss Ledoux. I'd like to think I'm a reasonable man."

"I'm reasonable too. I know you can't officially tell me what I want to know so I'll ask very nicely, just once, for you to share with me unofficially. Anything you tell me, will stay with me."

He lifted his eyebrows expectantly.

"Mr. Merchant, would you please share with me information regarding Tish Binkowski?"

A hand came up and he rested his chin on it in contemplation.

I crossed my legs, leaned back in my chair, and waited.

Finally, several minutes later, he raised his head. "No," he said with an evil little smile.

I stifled a chuckle. I kinda liked him. It was almost too bad. "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes, it is."

I rose to my feet. "Thank you for your time. Mr. Merchant."

"My pleasure, Miss Ledoux."

I strode from his office and made my way back to the lobby. Susan glared at me as I passed and shot me the finger. I grinned and ended up giggling all the way to the car. Under different circumstances, I could've almost liked her too.

When I sat down behind the wheel, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Joey's number.

"Yeah."

"Joey, it's Maddie."

"What's up, darlin'?"

"I need a favor."

"Name it."

"You know a Lawrence Merchant, Esquire?"

"Rings a bell. I can reacquaint myself quickly."

"I need a brace."

"I see. When?"

"As soon as possible."

"Stay by the phone. You'll get a call today."

"Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime. So, was I right?"

"Huh?"

"Anabel."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I guess I should thank you for that too."

"Yeah, you should," he rumbled, the sound of door chimes in the background. "Whoops, got to go."

"Okay, bye Joey."

"Bye bye."

I disconnected and dialed another number, one that I had a few misgivings about.

"Binkowski residence," Igor said.

"Sidney Binkowski, please. This is Maddie Ledoux."

"I'll get him," Igor said in a distasteful tone.

I waited a few minutes for Sidney to pick up.

"Miss Ledoux," he said tiredly.

"I'm sorry to bother you at such a bad time."

"I'll be at home all day, when can I expect you?"

"Within the hour."

"Very well."

He hung up without another word. The conversation had been more civil than I had expected and I couldn't help but think that this time, I'd get the straight dope.

When I arrived at the Binkowski home, I was led back to the library where Sidney was waiting for me. The poor man was sprawled in a chair looking as if he'd spent a long night locked in a room avoiding buttsex with a three-legged man. He didn't speak and cast a tiredly expectant glare on me as the door closed behind Igor.

"I know this is a bad time. I'm sorry."

"What is it you wish to know?"

"You were married to Tish for four years. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"How long did you know each other before tying the knot?"

"About a year."

"Did you know what she did for a living?"

"Of course."

"Were you a customer?"

"I loved her. I tried to take her away from all of that."

"It looks like you succeeded."

He shrugged.

"Are you familiar with her criminal record?"

"She told me. They all took place before I knew her."

"You got her cleaned up?"

"Yes."

"She had a very expensive attorney. Any idea how she paid for that?"

"She had a benefactor."

"Who?"

"I don't know. But she was very afraid of whoever it was. I could never get her to talk about it."

"I see," I said, gesturing to a chair. "Would you mind?"

"Help yourself."

"Thank you," I said as I seated myself.

"It seems you have manners after all, Miss Ledoux."

"I know what it's like to lose someone so important."

He gave me a sad smile. "Of course. My apologies."

I nodded. "You told me you'd dealt with Sabrina DiCarlo. What did she look like?"

He took a deep breath and sighed. "I lied to you, Miss Ledoux. I never met Sabrina. My dealings with her were handled through an emissary."

"Why did you lie?"

"I mentioned it once to impress some people I was associating with. It was an impulsive lie. I had no idea it would attract as much attention as it did and word got around. I couldn't back away from it without losing face."

I spent a moment mulling that over in disappointment. "Are you aware of the real circumstances regarding the DiCarlo - Sirico vendetta?"

"Just rumor. You were right the first time we spoke. I'm a fraud. The mob uses me and I let them."

"You don't have to, Mr. Binkowski."

"Perhaps."

"Did you ever get the feeling that Tish was involved in Organized Crime?"

"I had at one time considered it, but I came to the conclusion she wasn't."

"Why?"

"Her…customers… treated her too badly. The mob wouldn't allow an asset, however lowly, to be treated with such disrespect. That and she wasn't a profitable enterprise."

I ran that back and forth a few times. He had a good point. Prostitution was either a money machine for the mob or it was ignored completely. They didn't waste time with low-profit ventures. What I couldn't figure was where the benefactor came in. There wasn't enough money there to justify getting Tish out of trouble unless someone else profited.

"Tish got a traffic ticket in Iowa last year. Were you with her?"

"No."

"What was she doing in Iowa by herself."

"She didn't tell me. We had a fight and she left for me for a little over a week. I don't know where she went."

"Does she have any family?"

"None that I know of. She told me they were all dead and was loathe to discuss it."

"Where was she born?"

"Her birth certificate said Detroit."

"She never told you?"

"There were many topics Tish avoided. I let her."

"Why?"

"I had the feeling they were painful to her. She didn't need to relive any bad memories. She had enough to deal with as it was."

Jesus. I could only imagine.

"You suspect the same person for both our losses, Miss Ledoux?"

"Yes, I do."

"There won't be an arrest will there?"

"No."

"You'll let me know afterward, won't you?"

I stared at him for a moment. "You'll get a Valentine in the mail."

"I'll be looking for it. Eagerly."

I rose to my feet. "May I have a photograph of Tish and a copy of her birth certificate, please?"

"Of course," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll just be moment."

He exited the room and I waited almost ten minutes for his return. He handed me the requested items silently and then offered me his hand. I shook it. The man's life had just been forever changed. I knew exactly what it felt like.

I spent almost an hour driving around without a destination, contemplating my next move. I was a little tired; I had spent most of the night with the DiCarlo files. Regrettably, there was nothing I could glean from the information that could point me in a direction that I hadn't already considered. However, I did receive an education. The DiCarlos had been steadily going legitimate for years. Their portfolio, that which could be documented of course, was pretty fuckin' impressive. Oh, their hands were dirty, filthy dirty, but they excelled at covering their tracks, so good in fact, that their involvement in most enterprises was speculation at best.

Joey had been right; the DiCarlo assets were vast. Larger by leaps and bounds than Sirico's and integrated throughout a surprising portion of the country. It was nothing short of a miracle they managed to disappear so rapidly and so thoroughly. My instincts told me that vanishing was something that they had practiced and had for some reason planned to do even before the blow up with Sirico. Why? I didn't know. I could only assume the incident with Danny and Sabrina had forced Salvotore's hand and he forged ahead. But again, why?

DiCarlo outnumbered Sirico almost four to one. In a turf war, those kind of numbers virtually guaranteed victory. I could only figure that the potential cost was too high. Sal had a daughter to consider. A daughter personally marked by his rival. In a vendetta, Sabrina would be principle target number two after DiCarlo himself. In my estimation, he sacrificed himself to buy time for his daughter and the family's clean transition into anonymity. If that were indeed the case, those beneath him would be fanatically loyal. Apparently, they were. It had been almost seven years and still not a peep.

The big question. Did Gus get too close? If so, was he removed because of it? I had a hard time buying into the latter. Gus wasn't family, but at the same time, he was. Gus diligently ignored Organized Crime. He didn't want to get wrapped up in a conflict of loyalties. Everyone knew this and they respected him for it. That in itself told me DiCarlo would've known this as well. You don't successfully compete with a rival unless you're familiar with all the players. Removing Gus would serve no purpose. He would never put the pinch on family, rivals or no. Of course, that led me to wonder as to what exactly Gus had been looking into and why he kept it such a big secret. And where in the hell did Tish come in? Hopefully, my impending visit with Larry Merchant would shed some light on the subject.

My cell phone jarred me out of my deliberations and I answered it immediately.

"Ledoux."

"Hi, Maddie. It's Sarah."

I was delighted. I was beginning to wonder if I would hear from her again. "Hi!"

"I'm sorry I haven't called before now. I've had my hands full at work."

"That's okay. I'm just glad you called."

"Glad enough to meet me for lunch on short notice?"

"You bet. I'm just sort of wandering around."

"How does the Colcord on Division sound?"

"Sure, when?"

"About an hour?"

"I'll be there."

"Great! See you then, Maddie."

"See ya in a few."

I put the phone back in my jacket with a conceited little smile. I had a lunch date and a dinner date all in the same day. I was a playa! I was the Thang! Yo, G. I got game!

The Colcord was a medium-sized restaurant that catered to the trendy business types that worked downtown. The food was overpriced and I wouldn't walk a mile for it, but the company promised to be exceptional.

I was a little early so I walked in and made arrangements for a table for two. It was busy and I decided to wait at the bar instead of hanging out in the foyer like a wallflower. The bar was situated in the center of the room, offering me an unobstructed view of the entrance. I ordered a girly drink because I wanted to taste sweet and sat down to study the people around me. All in all, it was a pretty good-looking crowd.

My eyes eventually landed on the television behind the bar and I frowned. Geraldo Rivera sickened me. The man had no shame. When he didn't have his tongue up the ass of the politically corrupt, he undoubtedly spent a lot of time trying to give himself head. I immediately turned away and occupied myself with the much more enlightening endeavor of identifying the best set of tits in the room. It was an arduous process and I was still at it when I caught sight of Sarah.

I felt an instant arousal and fired off a wave as soon as her eyes moved in my direction. She was wearing a silky white pantsuit that clung sensuously to her figure as she moved toward me. My eyes were riveted upon her as she advanced and I burned the image into my memory. I would replay the scene later, when Stephanie and I had some quality time.

"Hi, Maddie."

"Hi there," I said, leaning forward to place a peck on her cheek.

She giggled and I swooned for a second. "Nice greeting."

"I kinda thought so."

"Did you get us a table?"

"Yep, they haven't called my name yet. Would you like a drink while we wait?"

"Just a soda I think."

"Okay," I said, waving to get the bartender's attention.

She hopped up on the stool next to me and beamed a smile. "I'm glad to see you. You've been on my mind a lot lately."

"Good thoughts, I hope."

"Very."

I felt my heartbeat begin to pick up and a heat rise to my face.

She chuckled. "You're an easy read, Maddie."

I tried a casual shrug and indulged in a generous helping of my drink. Fortunately, I was saved by the announcement that our table was ready. Sarah placed a possessive hand on my back as we trailed our hostess and with the gesture, a pleased warmth spread throughout my body. I reluctantly severed the contact as we took our seats and I picked up the menu. When I removed my sunglasses to peruse my options, a chuckle greeted me as I hooked them on the neck of my shirt.

"Where did you get the black eye?"

"Uhm… I fell down."

"On to what?"

"A doorframe."

"Ouch," she said sympathetically. "That must've hurt."

"It did. In more ways than one."

She laughed. "Poor thing."

I pursed my lips and nodded in agreement.

She shot me a wink. "So tell me, what exactly does a private eye do?"

"Nothing glamorous."

"Oh?"

"Most of the stuff I do revolves around unfaithful couples."

She smiled knowingly. "So you spy on cheating husbands?"

"Actually, it's split pretty evenly among cheating husbands and cheating wives."

"Really?"

"Yep. Chicks are just as bad."

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Is that a fact?"

"In my experience, yes."

"How much experience do you have, Maddie?"

I looked up from my menu. "I've been around the block a few times."

"Was is it an eventful trip?"

"Mostly painful, but if you wanna play, ya gotta travel."

"Do you want to play?"

With an effort, I struggled to keep an impassive expression. Hell yes, I wanted to play! Anticipating an overdue return to the winner's circle, the pit crew maintaining my criminally underused sex drive began to blur into motion. However, the crew chief was cautious; he'd been tricked before. "To be perfectly honest, I'd love to play," I said carefully.

She raised an eyebrow. "But?"

I took a breath. "But, I think I want things to feel right first."

She leaned back in her chair and studied me curiously. "And they don't now?"

I debated. Should I try to open up or just shoot off a flippant remark? A week ago, I probably would've chosen the latter, but today, for reasons unknown, I chose to be sincere. "I just don't know."

Her face became thoughtful. "Are there possibilities with me?"

"If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here."

A brilliant smile. "Then I'm very fortunate."

I didn't know what to say so I settled for an uncomfortable grin and returned my attention to the menu, acutely aware of her eyes still on me. Finally, she giggled and let me off the hook.

"Would you like to get together tonight?"

"I'm afraid I can't this evening."

She frowned. "Tomorrow then?"

"Uhm… Gus's funeral is tomorrow."

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "How about if I give you a call in a couple of days?"

"Okay, I'd like that."

As if sensing my suddenly darkened mood, she deftly steered the conversation into a light small talk that lasted the duration of the meal. It suddenly struck me that I was playing a dangerous game and I should endeavor to make a choice between Sarah and Anabel as quickly as possible. I certainly didn't want to hurt anyone and I already had more enemies than I cared to count. But then again, I was very, very tired of always making the wrong choices. I could only hope that this time, just maybe, I could follow my heart and truly go where it led me.

As Sarah and I stepped into the parking lot, she took my hand and turned a sly look in my direction.

"Which car is yours?"

"That one," I said, pointing a finger.

She rushed ahead and began pulling me toward the Grand Am excitedly.

"What's the hurry?" I asked amusedly.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. "I want a little private time. Indulge me?"

"You bet," I said immediately, taking the lead and pulling her quickly toward the car. As I neared my destination, I noted a previously unobserved feature on the vehicle that Joey had given me. On the rear bumper someone had placed, probably Joey himself, a sticker that read 'Mafia Staff Car'. I chuckled but didn't let it interrupt my forward momentum. If it weren't physically impossible, I would've sworn I was suddenly sporting a boner.

I reached into my jacket for the keys and abruptly found myself pressed pleasantly up against the door, a firm, two-handed grip around my waist that rapidly found its way under my shirt. The hands were cold but warmed rapidly as they flattened against my belly and began to make long, slow circles.

She pressed her body into mine erotically and before I could object, I was rendered almost completely helpless. When she spoke her voice was pitched low and carried with it a sexual charge that left me momentarily breathless. I felt myself lean harder into her embrace.

"I don't think I've ever seen a woman I wanted more than I want you, Maddie."

I swallowed.

"Don't make me wait too long. It's hard to be around you and think straight."

The hands on my belly began a trail upwards and fingertips brushed against the bottom of my breasts. Much to my dismay, a whimper was my only response and as soon as they made contact, her hands dropped again to my stomach. Battling between frustration and relief, my eyes widened in alarm as fingers began to play at the waistline of my jeans, teasingly probing as if they might venture underneath.

I fished for my voice, it wasn't easy to find. "Please don't," I finally managed.

Her hands moved to my hips and prompted me to turn in her embrace. "I guess you can't hurry love," she said with a little smile, coming up on her toes to place a gentle kiss on my lips.

I took a long moment to compose myself. "No, you can't. As much as I'd like to."

"That sounds like experience talking."

"Unfortunately."

She nodded reluctantly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Life is what it is."

A giggle. "You're an odd bird, Maddie."

I shrugged.

"I'll call you soon."

"Please do," I said, unable to resist the urge to lick my lips. She tasted good. Better than good.

She smiled and placed a peck on my cheek. "Are you gonna check me out as I walk away?"

"Uh huh."

"Enjoy the view," she said sexily and turned to saunter in the direction of her vehicle.

I did exactly as I was told.

After Sarah drove away, I sat behind the wheel for close to a quarter of an hour and struggled to get my libido under control. For the first time in my life, I understood how sex could be used as weapon. Never before had anyone been able to hold that kind of power over me. My plea for her to stop had been halfhearted at best and if she had refused, there was no doubt in my mind that we'd be doing the nasty right now in full view of anybody who happened by.

I tried to tell myself that I was just weak and it had been way too long since I had gotten any. Way, way, too long. In my current state, and if presented to me at exactly the right time, I'd probably fuck the paperboy. However, I didn't buy it. There was no question that I was pathetically desperate, but there was more to it than that. Perhaps it was my own desire that bothered me or maybe it was because Sarah and I weren't the only ones in the picture. There was Anabel to think about.

As I made my way into traffic, I played Anabel and Sarah against each other, trying to weigh the pros and cons of each. It was an exercise that provided me with no answers and only managed to add to my confusion. A thought suddenly struck me, a thought I considered somewhat profound. Of course, that in itself was kinda meaningless since I occasionally found episodes of 'Buffy' to be profound. Sarah wanted me and made no secret of it. Anabel, on the other hand, would like to be with me, but it obviously wouldn't kill her if it didn't work out. Was I thinking about choosing the path of least resistance?

I shook my head back and forth several times, I had the annoying tendency to over analyze and it always led to disaster. Pushing all thoughts of women from my mind, I decided to focus my attention on other matters and pulled the cell phone from my jacket.

"Winters."

"Hey, Billy. Wanna do me a favor?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On what it is."

"Verify Tish Binkowski's birth certificate."

"Hmmm, I can do that."

"She had to be fingerprinted as well, can you check that out too? Maybe she'll turn up somewhere."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Ya gonna drop the certificate off? I'm not in the office."

"I'm not that far from my office, can I fax it over?"

"Sure."

He was being too brisk. It was out of character. "Something wrong, Billy?"

"Nope, just caught me at a bad time."

"Ahh, then I'll let you get back to it."

"Okay, talk to you later, Maddie."

The phone returned to my pocket and I spent the time it took to get to my office trying to think about nothing at all. I succeeded in doing just that until my piece of shit fax machine threatened to eat Tish's birth certificate. After some choice words and a few strategic blows, it gave in to my wishes and I recovered it intact.

I spent a few moments going through my mail, the majority of which were bills and therefore immediately slam dunked into the garbage can. Always eager for more good news, I decided to listen to my messages, giving up halfway through and deleting the rest. My administrative duties complete, I grabbed my keys and headed for home. The house was a sty and there was no need to clue Anabel in on what a slob I am. She'd find out eventually, but I hoped to keep that knowledge under wraps until we had at least slept together.

III

Four hours later, I awoke with a yawn and looked around at my untidy abode. I had come home and immediately planted myself in front of the television. Suddenly realizing my dilemma, I jumped up with a start and began running around in a minor panic; I hadn't even gone to the store for groceries. Cursing myself for procrastinating, I policed up all the dirty clothes littering the floor and headed for the kitchen, where I paused and surveyed the damage in growing horror. Every dish I owned was filthy and stacked up in the sink and on the counter. Three large Hefty bags filled to capacity were lined up against the cabinets and the kitchen garbage can was overflowing. I ventured cautiously to the sink and instantly turned up my nose at the food encrusted dishes that were cheerfully going about creating a life of their own.

I was disgusting. If I was dating a chick and this is what her kitchen looked like, I'd dump her faster than prunes through a fat man. I wondered if I could hire a cleaning crew that could get here and be done within the next three hours. I was turning for the yellow pages when my cell phone rang. I hurried across the room to dig it out of my jacket.

"Ledoux."

"You know the marina on 59th?" Joey asked.

"Yeah."

"Jimmy will be looking for ya. You met him the other day remember?"

"On my way."

"Make it fast."

I hung up and got into my jacket with a curse. I wasn't expecting Joey's call until well into the night. I'd have to cancel on Anabel. I lifted the phone to dial her number, but on an impulse, entered Billy's number instead.

"Winters."

"Wanna do me another favor?"

"Why is it that every time you call you want something?"

"I'm just special I guess."

"That's debatable. What can I do you for?"

"Anabel is coming over tonight and…"

"Really?" he interrupted excitedly.

"Yes, and well I…uh… have to go out for awhile and I don't think I'll be here when she arrives. So I was kinda hoping you would let her in and keep her company for a bit."

"You realize I'm gonna spend a lot of time talking about you, right?"

I sighed. "I knew I could count on you, Billy."

He laughed. "What time do I need to be there?"

"Seven."

"Will do."

"Oh… and Billy?"

"Yeah?"

I braced myself for the explosion. "Could you take out the trash and…"

The sun had almost disappeared by the time I got to the marina. I didn't see any sign of Jimmy so I parked and stepped to the front of the car to light up a smoke. The mere fact that this little get together was taking place near a body of water didn't bode very well at all for Mr. Merchant. He must've pissed the fellas off.

A whistle got my attention and I scanned for the source, finally spotting Jimmy giving me a wave. I strode toward him as I worked on my cigarette and he disappeared when he saw me start to move. When I reached the slips, I looked around again and came up empty.

"Maddie."

I tracked the source of the voice and found him waving at me from beside a cabin cruiser a short distance away. I crushed out my smoke and made tracks in his direction. He ushered me aboard and instantly went about throwing off the lines. A few minutes later, he waved at the pilot and we were under way. Other than myself, it seemed that Jimmy and his accomplice were alone.

"How many on board?" I asked.

"Including you and the corpse?"

I grimaced internally. Merchant was in trouble. Big trouble. "Yeah."

"Five. Your friend is below. Ya want company?"

"Not at first. Can he walk away from this?"

He took a deep breath. "Doubtful."

"What would you need?"

"Impress upon him how serious the situation is. If you can get through to him, we'll discuss it."

"Fair enough."

"Put a rush on, it's fuckin' freezing out here."

That was no lie and I gave him a nod before heading below. As I shut the door behind me, a pinch on the ass sent me hopping forward with a surprised squawk. I spun around to find Sophie's husband chuckling and grinning at me roguishly. Anthony Leone was of average height with rugged good looks and gentle eyes.

"Fuckin'A!" I exclaimed. "Why do guys think scaring me is so goddamn funny?"

"Quit whining and say hello, Maddie. It's been a long time."

I gave him a glare. "Yeah, it has."

"Ya still mad at me?"

Was I? He'd stolen my best friend. All three of us had been close at one point in time. My shoulders slumped, admitting to myself, in an unwelcome second of insight, that he hadn't stolen anything. The only thing he was guilty of was falling in love. I was the one at fault. I'd been the one that had let her slip away. I was the one who started an argument every time we spoke. I was the one who didn't return her calls. It wasn't a lack of effort on Sophie's part, but rather too much effort on my part to separate us. All because I was jealous and mending a broken heart over a love that Sophie couldn't return. It was way past time to make amends.

"No, I'm not mad. If anything I envy both of you," I said, surprising myself and completely baffled over my emerging ability to give a voice to my feelings.

He looked at me strangely. "Envy? Why?"

I hesitated, looking at him carefully. "Because you have each other."

He blinked a few times. "Where's the real Maddie and what have you done with her?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

"That's more like it," he said with a grin, but it changed quickly to a scowl. "I was damn sorry to hear about Gus. Sophie was devastated. We know how much you loved him."

I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. "Be quiet, Tony. I don't want to be crying right now," I said, bringing a hand up to quickly wipe at my face.

He nodded. "Does the asshole downstairs have anything to do with Gus?"

"I doubt it, but he could help if he wanted to. What's the story? Jimmy told me we'd be a body light on the trip back."

"He's having a problem understanding that he isn't nearly as powerful as he thinks he is."

I snorted. "Sounds about right."

"I'll be right outside. If you need anything give a holler."

"Okay," I said, turning to go below but pausing at the door. "Tony, how did you get roped into this?"

"Joey was a man short and asked me to ride along. That, and I wanted to see you. Sophie was going to call you today but I asked her to wait until I found out whether or not it she'd regret it."

That stung and I winced. "Was I really that big of a bitch?"

"Do you want a straight answer, Maddie?" he asked dryly. "You weren't the only one that ended up with a broken heart."

I could only nod since there was nothing I could say in my defense. Reluctantly, I made my way down the steps with a weight on my chest and sensing the birth of a massive headache. When I reached the bottom, I made my way into the small room Merchant was in and closed the door behind me.

His eyes widened in surprised recognition, but they quickly turned icy with rage. The fellas had gagged him and handcuffed him to a chair behind a crappy little card table. It was extremely close quarters and I squeezed into the second chair. I leveled an appraising glare on the man and hoped I could make him see reason.

I cleared my throat. "I figure us to be a mile or so offshore by now. I'll remove the gag, but you should realize that screaming won't do anything but piss everybody off. Understand?"

It took him a moment, but he finally nodded.

"Before I remove it you need to know some things. First, there's a very real possibility that you'll die out here. These people don't fuck around and I can't stop them if they decide to do just that. Second, I don't want that to happen because if it does, it'll be my fault. I'm the one responsible for you being here. Surely, a lawyer of your experience understands how the mob does things."

The fury in his eyes died in an abrupt and visible wave of comprehension.

"Have I made the situation perfectly clear?"

This time the nod was quick in coming and I immediately rose to relieve him of the gag.

"Ledoux isn't it?" he rasped.

"Yes, Maddie Ledoux. Would you like something to drink?"

"Please."

I got up again and exited the room long enough to ask Tony to bring down a couple of sodas. When I returned, I sat quietly until the drinks arrived. I extended a Pepsi in Merchant's direction, but stopped short as he tilted his head to one side and shot me a sarcastic look. I almost smiled.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Tony, can we lose the handcuffs? There isn't anywhere he can go."

He shrugged and handed me the keys before making an exit. I moved the little table out of the way and released his arms from the chair, leaving only the cuffs keeping him bound to the chair by an ankle. A man with a chair attached to his leg would be easy to take down if the situation called for it.

"Thank you," he said as I settled back into my seat. He popped the top of his soda and took a few swallows. "I would never have pegged you for a wiseguy with a name like Ledoux."

"I'm not."

He blinked. "You seem to have a lot of pull."

"Joey Vendito is my uncle."

"I see," he said slowly. "What do I have to do to see the sun rise?"

"Truthfully answer any question presented to you and hope I can convince the fellas you'll forget this entire evening ever happened."

"And what would the odds on that be?"

"Not very good."

Much to my surprise, he chuckled. "At least you're honest."

"When we met earlier today, I wasn't kidding. Anything you tell me will stay with me."

"And how would ethics concern me as I sank to the bottom of the lake?"

I couldn't help it. I liked the guy. "Good point," I said with a grin.

"Well, let's hope you're more persuasive with the gentlemen on this boat than you were with me earlier today. What would you like to know?"

"Who paid you to defend Tish Binkowski?"

"I remember the name from this morning, but I don't know a Tish Binkowski."

I narrowed my eyes, but as far as I could tell, he wasn't lying. A light bulb went off. "How about LaTisha Morland? It was her maiden name."

That rang a bell, but he appeared reluctant. "May I ask a question of my own?"

"Sure."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because Tish is dead and the person that killed her is the same person who killed my Dad."

He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "This is personal then?"

"Very."

"Then I'm extremely sorry, but I don't have any information that can help you."

"Why is that?"

"I was anonymously given four times my normal fee to defend Morland and given a substantial bonus if successful in keeping her from serving any time."

My shoulders slumped in disappointment. "Do you often get paid in secret for defending the guilty?"

He started to reply, but hesitated, obviously measuring his response. "Isn't that a rather hypocritical question considering the circumstances of this conversation?"

I resisted the urge to lash out. "Perhaps."

"Everybody on board at the moment is a criminal, Miss Ledoux."

"Are you including yourself?"

"Of course, although I'd never admit that anywhere but in this room."

"I've broken the law, Mr. Merchant." I said quietly. "And in all likelihood, I'll break it again, but I don't consider myself a criminal. However, the other men on this boat are criminals and they don't feel the need to try and hide it. That in itself, makes them more honorable than most. They don't hurt people for fun, they don't rape women or molest children, they don't exploit you unless you give them the opportunity, and they certainly don't hide behind the guise of good intentions."

"You sound like you admire them."

"In a way, I guess I do."

He looked at me, suddenly thoughtful. "You were a cop, weren't you?"

"Once upon a time."

"I remember you now, your name has been nagging at me all day. You're the one who put the big hurt on Senator Hilary."

"My popularity on that issue is something I wish would just go away."

He chuckled. "No wonder your friend out there didn't bat an eye about leaving you alone with me unrestrained."

Suddenly amused, I smiled. "Don't I look tough?"

"Gimme a break," he scoffed. "You look like a little elf. I'll bet Hilary thought the same thing until he woke up in a body cast."

I tried, but I couldn't quite disguise my grin.

"Are you aware that I was once approached to defend you?"

"Really?" I asked in surprise "Why didn't you?"

He shrugged. "Democrats keep trial lawyers in business. I was advised that representing you wouldn't be in my best interests."

"Gee, there's a shock."

He laughed and shot me an appealing smile. "Are you single, Miss Ledoux?"

I chuckled. "That's an odd question to ask, considering the amount of shit you're currently swimming in."

"I have every confidence you'll convince your companions that I had no idea who I was dealing with, and couldn't resist the opportunity to shoot off my mouth."

I started to laugh. He had said the last with just enough self-demeaning humor to come across as charming. If I were into guys, he'd probably be the type I'd go for. I started to reply, but the door suddenly opened and Tony poked his head in.

"Step outside a second, Maddie."

I rose from my chair and followed him up the stairs. As I took the last step, he turned on me with a befuddled look.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"We grab the guy, rough him up, drag his ass out into the middle of the lake with every intention of leaving him on the bottom, and you're in there laughing with him like he's been chatting you up for the last half an hour."

"We can turn the boat around, he'll keep his mouth shut. He wasn't aware of all the factors. He's also very aware of the consequences."

He grunted reluctantly. "You sure he understands?"

"He's not a fool."

"It's Jimmy's call, but I trust your judgment. I'll run it buy him," he rumbled. "But if he comes down here to look in, you better not let him hear you in there hamming it up with that guy."

"Won't happen again," I said and spun to make my way back down the steps.

I reentered the room and sat back down.

"Should I be worried?" he asked.

"They're talkin' about it. Jimmy's the one in charge and is kinda new. I don't know him as well as the others."

"Don't they all work for your uncle?"

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you in charge?"

"I told you I'm not a wiseguy, Mr. Merchant. Joey was just doing me a favor."

"Ah."

"While we're on the subject, I should make it very clear what would happen to you should anything about this evening come back to haunt any of the entities involved."

"No need. I'm quite aware of Mr. Vendito's reputation."

"If they question you, make it a point to say that."

"I'll do that. You speak rather eloquently when you want to, Miss Ledoux. Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer?"

"Not once."

He chuckled.

"Do you know a Sabrina DiCarlo?"

He hummed for a second. "I don't think so."

"How about a Salvotore DiCarlo?"

"Sounds familiar, but I can't place the name. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. Tell me, do you happen to know anyone that Tish Bin… Morland used to associate with?"

"No, in fact, I only met Tish a total of three times. I never dealt with any…" he paused, his brow wrinkling.

"Yes?"

"If I recall correctly, I had a girl come into the office not long after the second time I got Morland off. Told my receptionist that LaTisha informed her that I was her attorney."

My eyebrows started to climb. "Do you have a name?"

"Can't remember it, but it would be in the office records."

"What happened?"

"We sent her away, I don't remember the exact reasons, but she was in trouble for something very minor that another lawyer could help her with for a lot less money. Assuming I live to return to work, I'm sure I …" he trailed off at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, "…Looks like I'm about to find out," he finished amiably.

I kinda admired him. Instead of fidgeting like a man awaiting his execution, he sat there calmly as if expecting to be pleasured by a body slave. This wasn't the first episode of the kind I had participated in, and by this point, those in the hot seat were usually, and quite understandably, reduced to incoherent blubbering.

Jimmy poked his head through the door. "Maddie, Tony told me you have the keys?"

I nodded.

"Uncuff him and bring him up top," he said, disappearing instantly.

I slumped in my chair as soon as the door closed.

"That sounded like bad news."

"Any news is good news."

"Oh?

"If you were going overboard, he would've shot you the second the door opened."

He released a very long, slow breath. "What a relief."

"It ain't over, but you'll be okay as long as you play it straight."

"I'll do my best."

I gave him an apologetic look. "Mr. Merchant, I'm sorry this turned out to be as serious as it did. I admit I wanted to run you through the ringer, maybe even a few broken bones, but I had no intention of endangering your life. "

"You can make it up to me."

"How so?"

"A dinner?"

"I find it strangely amusing, and more than a little flattering, that you would want anything to do with me after tonight."

"Why?"

"Putting the obvious reasons aside, you should know that on the way to the marina, I was wondering how many of your fingers I would get to snap before you broke."

"Five, but only if they were on the same hand."

I grinned and moved the table aside so I could undo the cuffs around his ankle. "That's four more than I would've guessed."

"You underestimate me."

"I don't doubt that."

"And that dinner?"

"We have a small you're straight and I'm not problem."

He fell back against his chair, placing a hand over his heart. "I'm crushed," he said jovially. "Ever consider jumping the fence?"

"If I do, you'll be the first one I call."

"Call me anyway, I'll have that name for you."

"I'll do that," I said, gesturing to the door with a nod. "After you."

To my considerable relief, I watched Merchant get into a cab not long after we arrived back at the docks. I thanked the guys for their assistance and even managed to give Tony a quick, and somewhat hesitant hug before I returned to my car.

My first stop was the grocery and I hurried through the store with my buggy. The only food I currently had at home was an almost empty box of Fruity Pebbles and no milk. I hoped that Anabel wasn't too put out with me for leaving her with nothing to eat and subjecting her to Billy's company for the last hour and a half.

Shopping complete, I smiled as I approached the checkout and noted that I wouldn't have to wait in line. Predictably, a skinny woman with a pierced nose and grungy clothes spotted the opening as well. I quickened my pace but she saw me coming and nonchalantly moved to cut me off at the pass.

I ground my teeth. The chick had an overflowing buggy and my eyes narrowed as I spotted the checkbook in her hand. For Christ's sake, I only had fourteen items in my basket and was going to pay cash! What the fuck did she have going on her life that made it imperative for her to get in line ahead of me? It would have only taken a minute or two to let me go first whereas I'd be standing in line behind her for twenty goddamn minutes. It had to be some sort of power trip.

I simmered silently. If the situation had been reversed, I'd do the considerate thing and let her go before me. I mean shit, I was far from perfect, but at least I had some manners. I held the door open for the person behind me, I didn't light up a cigarette before walking into a convenience store, and I made it a fuckin' point not to fart in the elevator.

I brooded over the subject until I noticed her struggle to withdraw a fistful of coupons from her purse. For the love of God! I leveled an investigative glance at the items she was buying; it was the kinda food I'd buy if just shopping for myself. My eyes sought out her left hand and I wasn't surprised at the absence of a ring.

Fifteen minutes later, she was finally writing out her check and I moved forward to place my items on the belt.

"For a single woman, you sure bought a lot of food," I said in a friendly voice.

She turned to me with a look of condescension and feigned tolerance. "Oh? Why would you think I was single?"

"Because you're uglier than shit."

The nerd running the register blustered an involuntary guffaw and I beamed my best smile at the woman's darkening features, dismissing her and turning my attention to the cashier.

"You'll be happy to know that I'm paying cash and don't have any coupons."

The nerd played along. "That's…uh… very considerate of you, ma'am," he said, trying his best not to snicker.

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" I said, turning a squint upon the woman who was still rooted in place. "Since I don't have but a few items."

Settling for an insulted huff, the scruffy slag proceeded to stomp toward the exit. I grinned, pleased with myself.

Exactly two minutes and thirty seconds later, I exited the store and ambled to the car, tossing my bags into the passenger seat. My hand was centimeters away from the ignition when a grip in my hair pulled me back hard against the seat. I barely stifled a scream and went immediately for my gun, my fingertips brushing the grip of it before a knife at my throat froze me in place.

"Don't be stupid," a voice whispered in my ear. "Put your hands on top of the steering wheel."

I complied carefully, the hand in my hair was painful and the blade gave me no leeway at all.

"We need to talk, Matilda."

"Do I know you?"

"No, but I know you."

"Would you mind backing up a little? Your breath is bleaching my hair."

A quiet chuckle. "I'm going to relieve you of your weapons. It would be advisable not to move."

My eyes strayed to the rearview as he released me and an arm snaked over my chest, the mirror had been tilted toward the ceiling and I cursed myself for not noticing immediately. After he took my gun, I groaned when he reached behind me to take the second one. I knew then that I was dealing with someone that was not only very serious, but dangerously competent.

"How did you know?"

"I assume you're referring to the gun at the small of your back?"

"Yeah."

"It's my business to know."

"What is it you want?"

"Just conversation. If it goes well, you can have your guns back."

"Can we hurry it along? I have a date."

"I'm going to take the blade away and lean back."

"Thank God. Your breath smells like you brush your teeth with dogshit."

"Don't piss me off. Believe me when I say that if you attempt to turn around, I can, and I will, drive this blade through the seat and into your spine long before you can get a look at me."

I didn't have a shred of evidence to think he wasn't bluffing. "Okay, why don't you start since you have me at a disadvantage."

"My employer wishes to express dismay regarding your current investigation."

"Which investigation is that?"

"The death of your uncle, Augustus Ledoux."

"He was my Dad."

"We both know that's not true in a biological sense."

"What the fuck would you know about it?"

"I know all about you, Matilda. Your father died when you were twelve from an opium-induced stroke. Your mother died when you were three from a variety of untreated venereal diseases."

I caught my breath. "My mother?"

"She was a whore, Matilda."

I started to spin around angrily, but his hand was in my hair and the knife was at my throat immediately. "Don't."

"What the hell would you know about my mother? I never even knew her name."

"Augustus knew."

"How would you know?"

"It's my business to know."

"Let go of me."

"Alright, but if I have to grab you again, I'll put a scar on your face. You're very pretty, it would be a shame to mark you like that."

He released me and I struggled to remain calm. "Just say what it is you came to say."

"Very well. The DiCarlo family expresses sincere regret at the loss of your uncle, but assures you that they had nothing to do with his death."

"And why should I believe that?"

"Because I could very easily have been sent to kill you, not talk to you."

"Why not just kill me?"

"Because you have friends in the DiCarlo family, Matilda."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"Do you know who killed Gus?"

"No, I don't."

"Can I talk to Sabrina?"

"No."

I sat silently for a moment, mulling things over. A snippet of my conversation with the Frank's popping into my head.

"You're the DiCarlo boogeyman aren't you?"

"That's not very flattering, but it is somewhat accurate."

"You seem to know a lot more than I do. Is there a direction I should be looking in?"

"I honestly don't know."

"I see. Then I guess you've made your point. Are we finished?"

"So it seems."

"Can I have my guns back now?"

"I'll leave them in the backseat. Have a pleasant evening."

I forced myself not to turn around when I heard the door open and close, waiting almost a minute before retrieving my pistols. I felt like throwing a fit. It seemed like everybody knew more than me and the more I learned the more confused I became. Did Gus really know about my mother? Was what the boogeyman said true? Worse, I believed him as far as the DiCarlo's were concerned. They wouldn't have bothered to send a minion to talk to me if they had anything to do with Gus's death. I was running out of suspects and seemingly very far away from any of the answers I really wanted. Angrily, I started the car and pointed it toward home.

IV

I trudged up the stairs with my groceries and inserted the key into the lock. I was in a mood that was proving hard to shake. I sincerely hoped that I could at least disguise it for Anabel's sake.

I came to a complete standstill as soon as I stepped inside. The stereo was playing loudly, and I swore I could smell air freshener. Cautiously, I ventured forward only to freeze again a few paces later. Anabel had her back to me, busily going about running the vacuum back and forth as she gyrated sexily to the stereo. She was cleaning my fucking house! I risked a glance around and corrected myself. She had already cleaned my fucking house! I was horrified at the discovery.

And just where the hell was Billy?

I had a frightening moment. What if Anabel had met Stephanie? No, God just couldn't be that cruel. Besides, Stephanie was safely tucked away in her hermetically sealed, specially constructed stainless steel vault, or in layman's terms, my sock drawer. Surely, Anabel didn't have a reason to be poking around in my bedroom. I winced at the thought, for if it were me, the bedroom would be the first place I'd go snooping. Thankfully, not everyone is as nosy or as shallow as I am, or for my sake, I certainly hoped not.

"Maddie!" Anabel exclaimed suddenly, turning off the vacuum and bouncing over to turn down the stereo. "I was beginning to wonder about you."

"Uh… hi."

"I hope you don't mind but I cleaned up a little," she said with a little grin. "Your place was so messy it was beginning to give me the creeps."

I had to chuckle a little at that. "Billy was supposed to keep you company, where'd he go?"

"He got a call after he let me in, he had to run."

"Oh."

"Did you bring me something to eat?" she asked, ambling up and pecking me on the cheek.

I felt my mood begin evaporate. She was just so damn perky it was hard to resist. "Yeah, how does fried chicken sound?"

"Unhealthy, but I'll give it a go."

I smiled. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"That's okay, you're here now."

"Tell me Billy at least took out the trash."

"Yep, he was doing that when I got here."

"Thank God."

"Don't look so put out."

"Thanks for cleaning up."

"It gave me something to do. Have you been fishing?"

"Uh… no."

"You smell like the waterfront."

I lifted an arm and gave myself a sniff. "I do not."

"Yes, you do. Go hop in the shower while I start dinner," she said authoritatively, reaching out to take the grocery bags away from me.

She left me standing there like an idiot as she dumped the bags on the kitchen counter and went about rummaging around for all the things she needed.

"Well, hurry up. I'm not going to do all the work," she said, giving me a little frown.

I turned slowly and made my way toward the bedroom with the distinct feeling that I had somehow lost control over my home, and that I was no longer the one in charge.

When I ventured back into the living room, I paused as I encountered the frown being directed at me from behind the kitchen counter.

"What?" I asked warily.

"I was hoping you'd let your hair down, I've only ever seen it tied back."

Who was I to deny her? I reached up to pull the scrunchy out of my hair and shook my head back and forth. "Better?"

She studied me for a moment. "Much better."

"I'm glad you like it," I said, feeling more than a little shy as she sauntered toward me and curiously ran her hands through my hair.

"It's very beautiful," she said quietly. "Mostly black but it has red in it too, do you dye it?"

"No!"

She giggled. "God, you're sensitive."

"Hmph."

"Go fry me some chicken whilst I lounge around in front of the TV," she said, swatting me on the ass and marching across the room to flop down on the sofa.

Given my orders and dismissed, I wandered into the kitchen obediently to find a prepared salad, a heaping of fried potatoes, and the chicken out and ready for batter. I risked a glance at Anabel, but she was already sprawled out on the couch and apparently happy to ignore me until dinner was ready.

Vastly baffled at her behavior, I busied myself with the chicken. I was tempted to help myself to some of the potatoes, but just as I was caving, a voice wafted in from the other room.

"I counted the taters so you better stay out of them."

Foiled, I mumbled under my breath. Could she read minds?

"You're lucky I didn't hear that."

I shot her a glare. What the fuck?

Grumbling, I slaved in the kitchen until the food was ready. This domestic shit was for the birds. Frying chicken all by myself seemed like a monumental task. The only reason I knew how to prepare it was because I'd helped Gus make it several times. How had the man cooked for me all those years and not gone mad? No wonder we ate out twice a week.

"Dinner's ready," I called out.

"I can't wait."

I stared at her for over a minute, but it quickly became obvious that she had no intention of rising from the sofa. I scowled when I realized that she expected me to bring it out to her. Jesus, she hadn't even let me feel her up yet!

"Maddie, I hunger!"

I stomped my foot and began to cart plates out to the coffee table, giving her a disgruntled look as I deposited them in front of her. When she could be bothered to cast her eyes away from the television, all I got in return was an amused giggle.

"Don't forget the ketchup."

I spun on my heel, and proceeded to usher out the rest of the food in supreme agitation.

"Would her Majesty like a drop cloth?" I asked when everything was in place.

She sat up excitedly. "No, thank you. Everything looks delicious," she said, energetically going about filling her plate.

I stared at her in bewilderment.

"Are you going to join me?" she asked, gracing me with a sideways glance.

"I thought I should stand here at the ready in case you decide you need something else."

She laughed. "You've been spoiled, Maddie. Stop being a baby and take a seat," she said, patting a place beside her on the cushions.

I reluctantly sat down and began to fill a plate, not quite sure how I felt about the evening so far.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I guess."

"What's the longest relationship you've ever had?"

That was one question I certainly didn't want to answer so I stalled for time. "What was yours?"

She gave me a casual shrug. "Never really had one."

"Huh?"

"I've always been busy, you know, business to run and all that."

"No kidding?"

"No kidding."

"Have you ever… uhm…"

"A couple of times, nothing worth noting. You gonna answer my question now?"

I fidgeted. "Is the chicken okay?"

She grinned. "It's great. Just tell me, you won't surprise me."

I sighed. "A month."

"A whole month?"

"Well, almost a month," I admitted, giving her a dirty look.

A chuckle. "Why did she leave you?"

"I left her," I said indignantly.

"Liar."

I felt a sulk coming on so I clammed up and looked away from her. Unbelievably, she carried on with her meal like she could care less and proceeded to ignore me. Fuckin'A, she had a lot of nerve! She makes me wait on her hand and foot, calls me a spoiled baby, gets me to open up, laughs at me, and then calls me a liar. Why was I putting up with this?

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"How long?"

"None of your business."

"Must've been a long time then," she said, throwing in a sympathetic look that only managed to piss me off.

"I don't think is going to work out."

"Why do you think that?" she asked, not bothered in the slightest.

"I just do."

"I don't."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"I can tell you what I think. Who knows anything for certain?"

"Then by all means, tell me what you think."

"I think you've been looked after all your life and encouraged to be too independent for your own good. You don't want to change, or maybe you want to, but you're not sure how to do it."

I rose to my feet. "I'm not about to sit here and listen to someone I've only known a few days psychoanalyze me. I think you should leave."

"Make me."

My jaw hit the floor. Did she just say what I think she said? "Are you baiting me?"

"Maybe."

"Don't."

"Will you hurt me, Maddie? You're certainly capable of it. You hurt people all the time."

My hands clenched into fists.

"What happened to you, Maddie?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I don't like that word, please don't use it around me."

"Right now, I don't give a flying fuck what you like."

She launched herself off the sofa before I could blink and, to my complete shock, she slapped my face. I stood rooted in place for what seemed like an hour. When I managed to speak, it came out as a rasp.

"Get out."

"No."

"Get out before I throw you out."

"Grow up," she said, retaking her seat on the sofa and picking up her plate.

I took a step forward, barely catching myself before I could take another.

"It isn't easy, is it?"

I clasped my hands together to keep them from shaking. "Please tell me why you're doing this?"

"Because you need someone who can."

"Someone who can do what?"

"Gus loved you too much to hurt you and like you said, I've only known you a few days."

"Don't talk about Gus," I growled, so close to snapping I was afraid for both of us.

"You're a nasty bitch, Matilda."

My control fled and I raged forward to grab her by the front of her shirt, lifting her off the couch, spilling her plate, and so angry, I managed to suspend her in the air several inches off the floor.

What followed next was, without a doubt, the most utterly unbelievable moment of my life. She embraced me tightly, wrapping her legs around my waist and laying an open mouth kiss on me that chased away the fury in an instant. Struck completely dumb, my ass hit the floor with her in my lap.

She wrapped her hands in my hair and prodded me on to my back. Determinedly placing kisses on my mouth and face until I began to respond. Finally, she gave me a reprieve and withdrew to toss her glasses on the coffee table. I watched in a flabbergasted silence as she pulled her shirt over her head and put her hands behind her to unclasp her bra.

Holy God! I wish I could describe how wonderful it felt to see a set of gazoobers that weren't my own. They were gorgeous. She was gorgeous. I felt my body react with a long suppressed vengeance. My nipples hardened into bullets and the bud was in full bloom.

She collapsed on top of me and captured my mouth with an intensity that made me whimper. I was completely under her power. I was hers. When she leaned over and offered me her breasts, I worshiped them eagerly. Quite willing to happily spend the rest of my life lying there in devotion. She suddenly rose to her feet, depriving me of her gift and I groaned my disapproval.

My eyes focused on her hands as she stood above me, holding my breath as they fell to her waist and slowly removed her pants. She stepped out of them one leg at a time and when she revealed herself to me, I was afraid I might pass out with the want of having her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Her eyes met mine and she stepped forward hesitantly, wanting my consent. I squirmed with impatience, perilously close to begging. "Please," I croaked.

She began to lower herself toward me, but I couldn't wait. As soon as I could get a grip on her, I pulled her down hungrily. I was overcome with excitement at the contact and panted my desire into the heat of her. As she started to grind into me, I groaned with the bliss of it. I loved how wet she was. I loved the way she tasted. I loved every one of the little sounds she made. When her release came, I nuzzled into her as deep as could, wanting to savor everything, wanting to feel everything. It was over entirely too soon and I gripped her hips demandingly, needing more and wanting frantically to continue.

She backed away slowly and I growled my dissatisfaction, reluctantly letting her retreat. A hand cupped my cheek lovingly and I encountered a gaze that regarded me with a surprising tenderness. She leaned over me again and gently kissed me, exploring lightly until she released me again and resituated herself. Her back to me, she straddled my chest as she started to remove my sweats. I enjoyed the view while she labored, waiting for her to complete her task and then spreading my legs invitingly.

"Oh, my."

They were the first words she'd spoken since calling me a bitch and I was suddenly self-conscious.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

She ran a hand over me and my nails dug savagely into the carpet.

"I could stare at you for hours, Maddie."

Her words only succeeded in bringing me to the edge and I was deliriously aware that another touch, however slight, would send me plummeting into the abyss. She began to slide her hips over me, backing toward me to offer herself again. I accepted readily, my hands roaming over a delightful ass as I pulled her close, wanting to taste her when I came. Arms encircled my legs and I could feel her breath on me as she descended.

I think I may have screamed.

I'm not really sure since I allegedly fainted.

For the first time in longer than I care to admit, I didn't wake up horny. In fact, as I stretched extravagantly under the covers, I purred with satisfaction. It was a brave new world. I spent a few moments in insight and was delighted to discover that my night with Anabel felt right. There was no guilt or regret. I'd made the right choice or rather; Anabel had made it for me. I giggled with pleasure.

"You gonna get up?"

The smile on my face felt absurd and I rolled over to find Anabel regarding me from the bathroom doorway wrapped in a towel.

"Maybe," I rumbled.

She walked over and climbed on to the bed, carefully kneeling beside me. "Why were you laughing?"

I shrugged. "Just happy."

She smiled bashfully, but then gave me a serious look. "We need to talk, Maddie."

My smile vanished and I felt the beginnings of panic. I hated those words. Anything said after that was guaranteed to be unpleasant, and probably painful.

"Don't you want to be with me?" I asked, disturbed at how small my voice sounded.

Her features softened. "Of course I do."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Me and you."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"You need to realize that to keep me, you're going to have to work at it."

I frowned confusedly. "What are you gettin' at?"

"You, Maddie. You're cynical, selfish, hateful, rude, and just plain mean."

Gee whiz! Those were not the sweet nothings I expected to hear after a wild night of monkey love.

"I'm willing to tolerate it, but I'm not willing to accept it as a fact of life. I believe you're a good person at heart and I think you're special, but you need to get yourself together."

I contemplated this in a worried silence, doubt darkening my previous euphoria. Had I made the wrong choice after all?

"What happened to you, Maddie?"

"What do you mean and why do you think you know enough about me to say the things you just did?"

"Gus was my friend. He talked about you often, long before he approached me as a possible suitor."

I rose to lean my back against the headboard. "What did he tell you about me?" I demanded.

"He was worried about you."

My anger began to rise. "Why? And why did he talk to you instead of me?"

"There were things he felt uncomfortable talking to you about."

"Gus could talk to me about anything!"

"Maybe I phrased that wrong. There were things he was afraid to talk to you about because he feared he'd make a mess of it."

"Like what?"

She took a deep breath. "He hated to see you so alone. It bothered him a lot and you seemed to push away everybody who tried to get close."

I began to boil over, outraged that she knew a shitload about me and I knew next to nothing about her. I was always in the dark and it pissed me off. "If you think I'm so fucked up then why did you consent to date me?"

"Please don't use that word."

I bit my tongue. "Fine. Just answer my question."

"Because I think I fell in love with you long before we actually met."

The wind left my sails in a rush and I gaped at her. "What?"

"Did you ever read a story where you connected with a character so strongly that you wanted to meet them, know them, or even love them?"

"I…I guess," I stuttered, not sure where she was going.

"Well, Gus told me a story and you were that character. He loved you so much that I guess a little of that rubbed off on me."

I blinked a few times, dismayed at the tears that had started to build. Gus was always looking out for me, even after he was gone. "Why… did Gus choose you… for me?" I was struggling not to cry, but it was a question I needed an answer to.

She beamed a brilliant smile. "Because he knew I wouldn't put up with your bullshit."

I barked a laugh that turned into a sob. Troubled, I brought a hand up to cover my mouth. Anabel scooted closer, running a hand over the top of my head and offering me a shoulder to cry on. A little piece of me, a very little piece, wanted to resist but it was quickly silenced. I fell forward into her arms and wept like a fuckin' pansy.

I was close to running late as I got of the shower and when I reentered my bedroom, Anabel was reclining on the mattress, an elbow cocked to support her head.

"I picked out some clothes for you."

So she was dressing me now?

"They're on the back of the closet door."

I padded over to look, trying my best not to frown. "Did you pick out my underwear too?"

"Yep. But you have to let me watch you put them on."

I grinned a little at that. I opened the closet door to find my suggested wardrobe hanging neatly on separate hangers.

Grudgingly, I had to admit that she had impeccable taste. I couldn't have done better myself. Of course, I wouldn't have chosen to wear the thong. I turned around and presented it to her with an eyebrow raised in question.

"You don't want panty lines do you?"

"I don't like thongs, they ride up on me."

"They're supposed to ride up on you, Maddie."

I guess I couldn't argue with that so I removed it from the hanger and dropped my towel. After I got into it, I reached for my bra but was called up short.

"Not so fast, come model for me."

"You've got to be kidding."

"You have an amazing body. Come over here and show it off."

I wasn't sure I liked that idea, but I turned around and walked over to edge of the bed, a little uncomfortable at being on display.

"Yummy."

I started to blush a little and got a giggle in response.

"You certainly weren't shy last night."

The blush deepened.

"Turn around."

I spun, thankful that I was no longer facing her.

"Wiggle your hips a little."

"If I do, can I go put my clothes on?"

"Okay, but it has to be a sexy wiggle."

I rolled my eyes. Embarrassed, but more than a little turned on.

"I'm waiting."

I bent over slightly and shook my ass at her.

"Oh, baby."

I stood up straight and hurried back over to the closet, a teasing laughter trailing after me.

"Get over it, Maddie. I've already seen you naked in about every position imaginable."

My mind flooded with recent memories, leaving me feeling a little lightheaded."Yeah, I guess you have."

"Then what's the problem?"

Good question. "I dunno."

"Hmmm, I guess you'll figure it out," she said cryptically.

I chewed on that while I got into my clothes. Anabel had chosen black slacks with a matching blouse and vest. She'd also remembered my aversion to heels and picked out a pair of black pumps.

"Would you like me to braid your hair?"

"I thought I'd just leave it down."

"Okay, that's a really good look for you."

"It is?"

"Oh, yeah."

I smiled, but then it hit me why I was getting dressed up and I faltered. I was so glad that Woody had made all the arrangements; I don't think I could've done it.

"Hey now, don't you go ruining your makeup," Anabel said, rolling off the bed and grabbing a Kleenex from the nightstand. She hurried over and began dab at my eyes. "You okay?"

I took a shaky breath. "It's going to be a tough day."

"I know it is. You'll get through it."

"Will you sit with me for the service?"

"Of course."

I was pathetically relieved. "Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me, Maddie," she chided. "You about ready?"

"I was gonna paint my nails, but I can't keep my hands from shaking," I admitted reluctantly.

She grabbed a hand and led me into the other room. "What color do you want?" she asked as she seated me at the kitchen counter.

"Red, I think."

"Okay."

She left me alone for a minute and I struggled to get myself under control. I had lied. It wasn't just going to be a tough day. Tough wasn't even close to strong enough a word. I hadn't even left the house and I was already beginning to blubber.

When Anabel returned, she sat down across from me and went about the business of painting my nails. She hummed comfortingly as she worked and I wondered how difficult the day would be, would already be, without her. I didn't ask her to be here yet here she was. It hit me abruptly that I had more than just a lover, I had a friend. Someone who cared about me and, if I was to believe what she told me earlier, even loved me. I guess I had a lot to think about.

"There we go," she announced with satisfaction.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Maddie."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because I'm not performing a service for you. I'm doing it because I want to."

"I see."

"No, you don't. But you will."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You don't intimidate me. Stop trying."

"Why do you make me feel like I don't know half as much as I think I do?"

"Because you don't. But I shall teach you, Grasshopper."

I chuckled. "Shut up."

She laughed, obviously amused with herself. "We ready to go now?"

"Just need my jacket and my gun."

She scowled. "You won't need a gun today and you're not wearing that jacket, it smells like cigarettes."

I started to protest, but gave in with a sigh. "Then I suppose you've picked out something for me to wear, Mother?"

"Yes, I have. I'll go get it," she said, rising to her feet but pausing to whisper in my ear. "And your mother wouldn't lick every inch of your body or sit on your face, Maddie."

I was glad she didn't loiter long enough to see my reaction, which was a shiver that shook me from my toes to the roots of my hair. I couldn't fight off the disturbing sensation that I had stumbled into something that left me in way over my head.

"Here ya go," she said from behind me.

I turned to find her holding the black Irish walking cape that Joey had bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago. I'd never worn it. Dutifully, I pulled it over my head and settled it into place.

"God, you're beautiful."

I gave her a smile. "So are you."

"I know," she said, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the door. "You're gonna be late if we don't hurry."

I swallowed my apprehension and put on my sunglasses as we walked out to the car. Once we were traveling, my mind worried over the events of the day and the burden began to weigh on me. Everything seemed so imminent and I wanted nothing more to run back into the house and hide until the day was over.

"Everything okay?"

"What gave me away?"

"You're chewing on your lip."

"Oh."

"Trust me, you'll survive."

"I don't know how people do this."

"Do what?"

"Say goodbye."

"It isn't easy," she whispered. "I know what you're feeling."

"Do you?"

"I've said goodbye to both my parents."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Will you tell me about it?"

She sighed. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to adjust to. I never felt more alone, or so vulnerable."

My eyes began to sting. "How do you get past it?"

"You don't. It hurts today as much as it did then; you just learn to deal with it. Time makes it easier."

I didn't trust my voice so I tried to focus on the road. She reached over and took one of my hands. She didn't say anything and I was glad. A minute or two longer and I would've had a complete breakdown. We rode in silence until I pulled up in her little driveway.

She squeezed my hand and leaned over to kiss me. "I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

"Okay."

"You'll be fine, I promise," she said, pecking my cheek and reaching for the door.

"Annie!"

She stopped and turned around to face me. "Hmmm?"

I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I was suddenly terribly afraid of being alone. "I...I..."

"Shh, I'll see you soon."

I could only manage a nod and she patted me on the leg before she got out. I watched her walk up to the door, working up an unconvincing smile when she shot me a wave, and damn near bursting into tears as she disappeared inside.

V

I eyed the house across the street from me with trepidation. It wasn't the kind of house you would expect a crime boss to live in for it was just a modest dwelling in old neighborhood. You would be hard pressed to find a difference between it and the home I grew up in, a home only a couple of blocks away.

There were reasons why I was afraid to get out of my car and enter the all too familiar house. Things had changed. I hadn't seen Sophie since I left for the Army and I had a lot to apologize for. She never gave up on me, even though she probably should have. Was I completely over her? They say nothing endures like first love. Would she forgive me?

The last few days had given me a lot to consider and unfortunately, none of it was good. I had put so much effort into not thinking about it that I never allowed myself to realize just how badly I had treated her. All she had ever wanted was to be my friend and, for a long time, that's exactly what she was. The very best friend. We shared everything together and had no secrets between us. That is, until I fell in love. Of course, she fell in love as well, it just wasn't with me. Suddenly, we both had secrets to keep.

Until very recently, I couldn't remember a more horrible moment in my life than when she told me she was going to marry Tony. I'd never felt so completely betrayed. I threw a world-class tantrum a toddler could only look upon with envy, stormed from the house and spent the night on the lakefront bawling my eyes out.

With a great deal of effort, accompanied by some subtle threats from Gus, I bottled everything up and maintained a somewhat civil attitude, even managing to be her Maid of Honor. A day burned into my memory with indescribable pain. It had been beyond gut wrenching. I stood beside her at the ceremony, trying to look happy for her, but totally unable to stifle the tears flowing over my cheeks in rivers. As soon as it was over, I ditched the reception and ran all the way home, curling up in a little ball on the floor next to my bed. I wanted to die.

After the wedding, everything rocketed downhill. I wanted her to hurt as much as I did, and I took every opportunity I could get. I knew every button to push and I pushed them over and over again. I was fuckin' despicable.

Still, she kept trying to get through to me no matter how malicious I became. I couldn't be around her and I couldn't forgive her so when I graduated from college, I joined the Army. It worked for the most part, but she tracked me down religiously twice a year. Every Christmas and every birthday she either called or sent me a card. I never replied to the cards and when she called, I tried to make it as difficult as possible.

Sadly, now that I could see things in a different light, I had no excuse for my behavior. She loved me, of that I was certain. It was almost ten years later, and she still hadn't given up hope. The calls had been infrequent the last few years, but she still made them. How could I say I was sorry? How could I say that it wasn't her, but me that I needed to forgive? How could I say that I was just too childish to deal rationally with the situation? How could I say that what I understand now, I didn't then?

I looked at my watch and took a deep breath. It was time to pay the fiddler. I checked my face in the mirror and gave myself a gut check before climbing out of the car. As I puttered across the street, a painful throbbing started in my forehead and I sorta hoped it was the first stage of a fatal stroke.

I ended up standing on the front porch staring at the door, thoroughly incapable of mustering up the courage to ring the bell. I don't know exactly how long I stood there and I probably would've frozen to death, if Joey's wife hadn't opened the door and found me.

"Maddie!" Carla exclaimed in surprise, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the house. "You look like you're freezing, honey. Did you walk over here?"

"No, I was just… I mean… I guess I lost track of time."

"Foolish girl. Let's get you something warm to drink," she said, leading me into the living room where a crowd had gathered.

Before I knew it, a toddy was thrust into my hand and I was surrounded.

"I'm glad you're here, Maddie," Woody said. "There's something I'd like to talk…"

"It can wait, Woody," Joey interrupted, coming up behind him. "Maddie, get yourself upstairs. You know the way."

I swallowed.

He bumped Woody aside and leaned over to whisper in my ear, relieving me of my drink. "It'll only hurt a little and it's way overdue."

My throat constricted, but I managed a nod. Of course, he actually had to give me shove to get me moving. I made my way across the room, sensing that at that moment, I knew exactly what death row convicts felt like as they were ushered to the electric chair. Tony caught my eye as I reached the stairs, and there was no mistaking the warning in his expression. I sighed and plodded up the steps.

Far too soon, I was again standing in front of a door. I decided that thinking was my biggest problem and I was only prolonging the inevitable. With a rush of rapidly fading bravery, I reached out and completed a short knock.

"Come on in."

I extended an unsteady hand and stepped inside, catching my breath and fairly confident that I was tense enough to shit an 84-karat diamond. She had her back to me and was fussing over her dress in the mirror. I closed the door behind me and she turned at the sound.

She gasped in surprise, her hands rising to cover her mouth.

"I haven't changed that much have I?"

"Oh, Maddie," she whined, her eyes shining.

She took a hesitant step toward me, but caught herself as if unsure of her reception.

"I…I've missed you," I rasped weakly.

"I've missed you too. I've missed you so much," she cried.

I began to crumble, but I wanted to say it. I needed to say it. "I'm so very, very sorry, Sophie," I choked, trying to ignore the moisture starting to rage from my eyes. "I'd give… anything… to go back and change the way I acted. I've been a hideous, jealous bitch and you have no reason, no reason at all, to… forgive me. I… I can only pray… that you will."

She rushed across the room and I tensed, half expecting a slap or perhaps a light pummeling. Instead, she smothered me in a hug and wept hysterically into my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her, the weight that had been slowly driving me into the ground evaporating in her embrace. The relief was so poignant it made me dizzy and I likened it to an epiphany. I didn't know how she could, or why she would, but I was forgiven. Just like that. I could hardly believe it and it took a moment for it to really sink in. When it did, the tears that gushed forth were no longer heartsick, but tears of joy.

Close to an hour later, I was seated on her little bed, her head in my lap while I played contentedly with strands of her mousy brown hair. She was still as beautiful as I remembered. An inch shorter than I was with deep brown eyes and a body that could've made Michael Jackson give up little boys.

We had spent the last twenty or so minutes gossiping and catching up with each other. The past apparently thrust behind us, it seemed like old times. I couldn't have been happier.

"Do you have somebody, Maddie?"

"I think so."

"You think?"

"It's very new and sometimes I'm not sure she even likes me."

She rolled around to look up at me. "What do you mean?"

"We've only know each other a few days, but she's already slapped my face and called me, among other things, a bitch."

"How did you meet her?"

"Gus kinda set us up. Then Joey and Billy jumped on board."

A chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Sounds to me like they picked the perfect girl."

My brows knit. "Why do you say that?"

"Never mind."

"No, tell me. I really want to know."

"You won't get mad?"

"No."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

She took a deep breath. "You've always been arrogant and unpredictable, Maddie. You want everything your way and if you can't have it, you tend to lash out. You need someone strong enough to make you stop and think about what you say and do every once in a while. Gus could put you in your place, and my Dad, but you drifted away when you left for the Army. I don't think you've let anyone else have that kind of power over you since."

I contemplated this in a thoughtful silence, unable deny that it hit a little too close to home.

"Are you mad?"

"No. Just thinking about stuff."

"Okay."

"That was painfully accurate."

"Yeah, it was."

"We haven't really talked or known each other in a long time, Sophie. How can you see me so clearly when I'm apparently blind to everything around me?"

"A few reasons, wanna hear?"

"Yeah."

"Even though you ran away from me, I couldn't let you go. I talked to Gus and Dad all the time, getting all the news about you that they knew or that they would tell me. They were very informative."

"Sophie," I said sadly.

"There's more. It's the most important reason."

I nodded, rubbing at my eyes.

"I love you, Maddie."

I sobbed. "I love you too. That's why I had to go."

"I knew you loved me. I always knew. But you didn't have to leave."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because it hurt too much to see you with someone besides me."

"We were never going to be lovers, Maddie. You had to know that."

"Maybe I did. I just didn't want to believe it and I couldn't help how I felt."

"I couldn't help how I felt either. I found a husband but I lost my best friend. There've been a lot of times I needed you, and a lot of times I wanted to be there for you. It's hurt me for a very long time that you wouldn't or couldn't understand how much you mean to me. I wish we could've had this conversation years ago."

"I wasn't ready to have it."

"I can understand that. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't want to."

"I know you didn't. It just took me some time to realize it."

She smiled at me and gave my belly a poke. "So tell me about your girlfriend. Is she pretty?"

"She's beautiful."

"Will I meet her today?"

"Yes."

"Have you boinked her?"

I gaped.

"So you have. How interesting," she purred teasingly. "Only known her for a few days and she's slapped you, called you names, and slept with you."

I frowned. It all sounded pretty pitiful when stated like that. "That makes me sound so cheap."

She giggled. "I know you're not cheap, Maddie. I just find it interesting."

"How so?"

"Because it sounds to me like she's got you right where she wants you."

When we finally arrived at the chapel, the misery of the day fell heavily about me. Billy was waiting for us in his dress blues, and ushered us inside. There was barely enough room for one to find a place to stand and bodies lined the walls. It was a sea of black and blue, cops and robbers intermingling without prejudice.

I saw faces that I hadn't seen for years, some welcome and some not, but they were all present to pay their respects. My legs felt like lead and the journey to the empty pew directly in front was a long one. It was the place reserved for family and a place I'd never believed I'd have to sit. Gus had been a man of immense strength, and I always thought he'd be there for me forever. He was the rock at the center of my world. Dealing with the idea of him being mortal was something I'd never bothered to entertain and now that I was faced with it, my world seemed so suddenly empty and chaotic.

As we were being seated, I managed to grab Billy's arm. Whispering to him in a voice I couldn't recognize as my own. "Have you seen Anabel?"

"No, Maddie."

I burst into tears at the news, embarrassing myself in front of God and everybody. He helped me into my seat and Sophie took my hand in hers.

"I'll bring her up front when she gets here, Maddie," he whispered before withdrawing.

I could only nod and sit there weeping, totally unwilling to look at the coffin I knew was at the front of the room. I felt disassociated from everything, and wanted nothing more than to be able to crawl into a dark hole and never come out. I lost all sense of time and could focus on nothing but the hopefully fatal pain encompassing me.

A nudge from Woody elicited no response, although I was dimly aware of him rising to his feet from beside me. An arm slipped under mine as a body saddled up next to me, and my hand was grasped tightly. I was afraid to look, but I did anyway.

I almost didn't recognize her. Dressed in a sleek black suit with her hair tied into a severe bun that made it look short, she smiled at me from behind a pair of sunglasses.

"Sorry I'm late."

My head dropped to rest on her shoulder and I sat there wiping my eyes in relief. Her presence giving me the strength I needed to carry on for a little while.

And carry on I did. I had some pretty bad moments but the worst came with the eulogy that Joey stood up to deliver. He started to sniffle at the halfway point and I broke down completely, sobbing my way though the end of the service and out on to the street to take my place.

Marching through the cold managed to sober me a little, and I squeezed Anabel's hand as tightly as I dared. Afraid to let her go, needing her to keep me grounded.

I hated funerals and I hated this one with a passion. How I persevered through the graveside service is a mystery to me. I could only stand there bawling, wishing that the flag they were folding would be presented to me. I resented Woody more at that moment than I ever resented anything in my life. It was petty and irrational, but I felt it just the same. He was Gus's son and I was only his niece. I suddenly, and very intensely, hated Woody. I watched with helplessly watering eyes as the man approached.

I gasped when he stopped in front of me and extended the flag. My knees went weak and I felt myself begin to sway. It had to be a mistake, God was just twisting the knife. I managed to crane my neck to the side and meet Woody's eyes.

He just nodded.

It was the ultimate gift and I stumbled at the magnitude of it. An arm around my waist kept me on my feet and I accepted it with trembling hands, instantly clutching it to my chest possessively. The world started to spin and I was horrified. I was going to collapse in front of everybody and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I could feel Anabel struggling to keep me upright, but she was faltering. Unexpectedly, I felt a much stronger arm prop me up from the other side and Woody spoke softly in my ear.

"Hang in there. It's almost over."

He shook me a little and I sluggishly got myself together. A few minutes later, I was being led to the limo. Inside the car, I rested my face hard against the window. I wanted to feel the cold, knowing that it would keep me somewhat lucid until I could find a place to waste away.

Everyone piled in after me and I was aware of Anabel whispering to me comfortingly, but I couldn't reply. She took my hand, stroking the top of it tenderly until we returned to Joey's house. I walked inside like a zombie and stood in the living room, vaguely aware of the questions being directed at me yet unable to hear them.

"I want to lay down," I said.

"Let's take her upstairs, we can put her in my bed," Sophie said. "Help me, Anabel."

They escorted me to the bedroom and I took the last steps to the bed in a rush. Throwing myself on top of it and curling up instantly, wanting to make myself as small as possible so the despair might overlook me. I was aware I had observers, but I didn't care. I cuddled my flag tightly and cried until I finally, and mercifully, fell asleep.

"Maddie."

I grunted.

"Come on, sweetie. You need to get up."

A hand shook me and I grumbled incoherently.

"Mom's downstairs making a huge breakfast."

I ignored the voice, hoping it would go away.

"She's making banana pancakes," Sophie sung teasingly.

Now this got my attention and I cracked open an eye to find her hovering over me. "Really?"

"Are they still your favorite?"

I nodded.

"Then you better get up or the guys will eat them all before you get down there."

I scowled. "They better not."

A chuckle. "Rise and shine."

I grudgingly sat up, rubbing at my eyes.

"God, what a cranky face."

"Shut up," I mumbled, realizing with a start that something was missing and I looked around in growing panic. "Wh…where's my…"

"It's right there, Maddie," she interrupted quickly, pointing to the to top of her dresser. "Anabel put it there last night after you conked out."

I sighed deeply in relief but then I looked around again. "Where's Anabel?"

"She stayed with you all night, Maddie."

"She did?"

"Uh huh, she tried to get someone to work for her today but couldn't get a hold of anybody. She had to leave about an hour ago and was very upset about it. She wanted to be here when you woke up."

I felt a stupid smile take shape.

"I think you got a keeper there, Maddie. You better not mess it up."

"Isn't there a chance she could mess it up instead of me?"

"Nope."

I frowned. Why was I always the one in the big black hat?

Sophie bounced on to the bed beside me excitedly. "She's great, Maddie! We talked about you for hours last night!"

I gave her an ugly look, not liking the sound of that at all.

She gave me a swat. "Don't get all pissy. She had nothing but nice things to say about you."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"What did she say?"

"Oh, just girl stuff."

"Such as?"

"Well, she said you make a funny face when you come and…"

"She did not!" I practically roared.

She fell on to her back, overcome with giggles. I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly and waited impatiently for her to finish.

"No wonder the guys still pick on you," she snickered after a moment. "You're such an easy mark."

I rolled my eyes and glared at the ceiling.

She gave me a poke. "Stop pouting, Maddie."

"Hmph."

Another quick laugh and she climbed off the bed. "Go wash your face and come down to breakfast. Mom was almost done when I came up here."

"Okay," I grumbled, throwing the covers off and rising to my feet. I was still fully dressed from the day before and was suddenly overcome with sadness. My eyes started to water as they wandered over to the folded flag sitting on top of the dresser.

"Hey," Sophie said gently, coming over to take my hand. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Let's go have some pancakes," she added, tugging me toward the door.

I let her lead me to the bathroom and was appalled by the reflection waiting for me in the mirror. "I look like hammered shit."

"You do not," she said softly. "I wish I was half as pretty as you."

I blinked. Did she really think that? I always thought that of the two of us, she was the gorgeous one. But then again, I'd been in love with her for a long time. "You'll always be beautiful to me, Sophie."

She beamed a smile. "Don't let Anabel hear you say that."

"Oh? Why?"

"I think she felt a little threatened by me."

I sighed. As far as Anabel was concerned, I didn't have a goddamn secret left to my name.

"Don't fret over it, Maddie. She had your number anyway."

I stared at my reflection. Was I really that fuckin' transparent? I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started to wash my face.

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs, okay?"

I grunted an affirmative and looked after my morning necessities, ambling down the stairs a few minutes later. The living was room was still a mess from the previous evening and I headed for the kitchen, the sounds of a boisterous conversation coming from within. A little self-conscious, I tried to slip quietly into the crowd.

"Maddie!" Carla thundered, announcing my arrival to the entire neighborhood. "Pull up a chair, I cooked up a big batch of pancakes just for you."

I grinned. I'd been a little worried the guys would eat them all just because they knew I liked them. It wouldn't have been the first time. The jerks.

I took a seat in the empty chair next to Sophie and looked around the room. Woody, Billy, and Joey were arguing good-naturedly over something while Tony and Jimmy mumbled to each other. Sophie patted my leg and a smile threatened to split my face as Carla deposited an enormous stack of pancakes in front of me.

"There ya go, honey," she said, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "If you can finish those, there's more where that came from."

"Thanks!"

She chuckled and floated away as I dug greedily into my plate. Carla was a groovy lady, although I often thought as a kid I'd grow up to have her handprint permanently embedded on my face, Sophie too for that matter. One learned quickly that smart-ass remarks or vulgar language around her would result in a lightning fast slap. I'd even seen Gus and Joey receive a few over the years.

"Maddie," Woody addressed me amusedly. "What do you remember about our trip to Vegas?"

I groaned. "I remember it was hot and the road trip was unbearable."

"You don't remember Gus's ice cream?" Joey asked.

I started to laugh. I hadn't thought about that in forever. We had all been crammed into a van that Gus had borrowed to get us out there. Of course, the air conditioner didn't work and being northerners, we were totally unprepared for the devastating heat of the Nevada desert. It felt like the surface of the sun and by the time we were ready to head back, most of us were burned and resembled boiled lobsters. It was a cranky, long, miserably hot trek out of the desert and the close quarters had us snapping at each other.

To make matters worse, we had to keep all the windows rolled down and it made it hard to speak to each other over the wind blowing in. Then there was the fly. The little bastard was a survivor, tormenting us all, refusing to leave, and deftly avoiding every attempt made on his life.

We were passing through some little town when Sophie spotted a Dairy Queen and started whining for us to stop, I happily joined in and grumbling, Gus took the exit. Soon, we were back on the road and immersed in our treats while Gus weaved through traffic with one hand, holding his untouched, two-scoop, chocolate dipped cone in the other. I just happened to be looking at him as he got us back on the Interstate and leaned back in his seat. The fly chose that moment to make a reappearance and he swatted at it absentmindedly, tossing his yet to be sampled ice cream right out the window.

I watched him stare after it as if he expected it to come back and my cheeks ballooned in an effort to keep from choking

"I'll be goddamned!"

I started shrieking laughter, quickly dissolving into uncontrollable hysterics. My antics were so contagious that everybody, sensing blood in the water, was suddenly alight with amusement and already beginning to chuckle. I was laughing so hard my eyes were watering, and I couldn't answer the eager questions being directed at me.

"What's a matter, Gus?" Joey asked.

I risked a glance at him and you could practically see the smoke coming from his ears. I turned to jelly in my seat, laboring to catch my breath.

"I just threw my fuckin' ice cream out the window!"

"He was swatting at the fly," I chortled. "He hadn't even licked it yet!"

They erupted in hilarity, Carla cackling so uproariously she forgot to whack Gus for his profanity. Merriment at his expense overtook everyone and we carried on for so long that you could hear his teeth grinding in the car behind us.

Chuckles encompassed the table. "God, he was so mad," Sophie snickered.

"He didn't speak to anyone until we were in Missouri," Joey hooted, instigating another wave of mirth.

"Maddie, you remember Gus catching us the first time we got drunk?" Sophie asked.

I winced. "God, yes. He blistered our asses for that."

"When was this?" Joey asked. "I don't remember hearing anything."

"I guess we were what, close to fifteen?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't I know about this?" Joey asked darkly. "What happened?"

"Oh, be quiet, Daddy," Sophie chided. "It was years ago."

"We got into the liquor one day after school and he caught us red-handed."

"I'd never been so sick in my life, I still can't get within a foot of tequila," Sophie said with a shudder.

"Me either."

"I can't believe Gus didn't tell me this," Joey mumbled. "I'd have busted your asses too."

"Trust me, Joey. We learned our lesson and he probably thought we didn't need to get another one from you."

"What'd he do?"

"We passed out in the kitchen with the evidence all around us," I said, shaking my head sadly. "We both got the belt as soon as he pulled us out of our stupor, then he put us to work out in the backyard."

"I thought I was gonna die," Sophie said grimly. "He kept us up all night, had us pulling weeds and stuff until the sun came up."

"He supervised from a lawn chair and we got sprayed with a garden hose every time we threw up, started to cry, or looked like we might pass out."

Predictably, the guys thought this was a riot, but Carla came to our defense.

"That's horrible," she admonished. "How could he be so mean?"

"Oh, hush," Joey chuckled. "I'll bet the girls avoided the booze for years after that."

"I know I did. I think the next drink I took was in college."

"Me too," Sophie said. "I panicked every time I was offered any. Kept looking over my shoulder scared to death Gus would somehow appear."

The laughter started again and we spent the rest of the morning reminiscing. It was a happy day engaged in both laughter and tears. When it was over, and I was finally on my way home, I couldn't help but think, that maybe, just maybe, I'd be okay after all.

I let myself in the door and stumbled around in the dark, having not a left a light on the day before. I fumbled for a lamp and then made a beeline to my phone to speed dial Anabel's number. I waited through twelve rings prior to hanging up and then calling information to get her store number. My lower lip started to protrude as I was informed she had already left for the day.

I felt like blubbering. Sophie had begged me to stay the night again, but I wanted to come home because I had hoped Anabel would come over. Now I was stuck in my crappy little loft all alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me occupied. A mood starting to encompass me, I slugged into my bedroom and carefully placed my flag on top of the dresser. The tears began to build again, depression rocketing toward me and picking up speed.

A knock at the door filled me with me relief and I raced to answer it, hoping desperately it was who I wanted it to be. I ripped open the door to find her standing there with an overnight bag and I was suddenly elated. I grabbed her hand and yanked her inside, blathering like an idiot.

"I'm so glad you're here I tried calling you but there was no answer and I called the video store but they said…"

She covered my mouth with a hand and giggled. "Hush."

I grabbed her wrist and placed a kiss on her palm. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she said, leaning forward to place a kiss on my cheek. "Can we close the door now? I'm freezing."

I reached an arm around her and flung the door closed. "Are you gonna stay the night?" I asked, knowing I sounded pathetically desperate, but unable to stop myself.

"If you'll have me."

I nodded enthusiastically.

She smiled. "Then I'm yours."

I bounced in place excitedly.

She laughed at me and gestured to the other room. "Let's go sit down, I bought you a present."

"A present?"

"Yep," she said, turning to saunter into the living room.

I followed after her happily, plopping down on the sofa beside her and looking at her eagerly.

She sat her bag on the coffee table and dug through it to produce a triangular shaped package wrapped in a pretty red paper. Presenting it to me with a curious expression.

I tore it open impatiently, coming to an abrupt halt and clasping a hand over my mouth. "Is this what I think it is?"

"I thought you might like it."

"I do," I croaked. "Very much."

"Would you like to put it inside?"

I was so touched I could only nod. She reached out and took it away from me, peeling the rest of the paper away carefully. "I'll get it ready it for you. Go on now."

I rose and traveled into my bedroom to stand before my dresser. Gently lifting my most cherished possession, I cradled it to my chest and carried it back into the living room. Anabel had it ready and I reverently placed my flag inside the beautiful glass display box. The waterworks started as soon as she clasped it shut, and I fell over and buried my head in her lap.

"Thank you so much," I whimpered. "It's a wonderful gift."

She stroked my hair. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you today."

"I understand. It was actually a pretty good day. We laughed a lot."

"You have a wonderful family, Maddie."

I sighed and rolled over on my back to look up at her. "Sophie told me you stayed with me all night."

A nod.

"Thank you. I know I wasn't very good company."

"You're very welcome."

I grinned. "I was afraid you were going to tell me not to thank you."

"Nah, even I wouldn't kick you when you're down."

"That's good to know."

She grinned. "You hungry?"

"I'm stuffed, Carla forced food on us all day. Are you? We can run out and get something."

"Nope, she fed me when I went back to look for you after work."

"Oh," I mumbled, not sure if I was comfortable with that. I was getting tired of being talked about.

"Don't worry," she said knowingly. "We just visited, you were barely mentioned."

I fought off a frown. "Will you tell me something?"

"What?"

"Am I really as easy to read as I'm beginning to think I am?"

"Only to people who love you."

I really wanted to ask her if she were one of those people, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it fast enough.

"Can I ask you something now?"

"Okay. But you should know that I'm not in the mood to discuss all my personal failings."

She grinned. "But there's so many."

"Just ask your question," I said dryly.

"What's with you and Sophie?"

I froze. Of course, that only gave me away and I sighed. "Didn't Gus tell you?"

"No."

"What did Sophie say?"

"Like I know her well enough to ask."

I procrastinated. I really didn't want to discuss it since it seemed that I'd only very recently come to terms with it. "Can we talk about something else?"

"I think I'd rather talk about this," she said, an edge creeping into her voice. "Do you love her?"

I closed my eyes. "Of course, I do. She just didn't love me back. At least, not the way I wanted."

She was silent long enough that I opened my eyes and started to fidget.

"Do you still love her?"

I nodded and her expression darkened. "I'll always love her, but I'm no longer in love with her."

She seemed to relax a little. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm."

"Were you jealous?" I asked with a little grin, wanting to make light of what I perceived as a tense situation.

"Nah," she scoffed unconvincingly. "Was just wondering what was up."

I beamed a delighted smile. Finally, the tables had turned a little and I had one up on her. I intended to milk it. "Is that why you looked ready to claw my eyes out a second ago?"

"You're imagining things."

"Not going by the look on your face."

"Some detective you are, I've just got a little gas."

I laughed. "Big, fat liar."

She huffed and turned her face away. "Fine, I was a little jealous, you happy now?"

"Immensely," I said in my most imperious tone.

Her eyes flashed and I giggled deviously. Apparently, she didn't like being teased. A little muscle twitched along her jaw line and I felt my stomach flop over. My smile faded, the observation having kick started my libido. Oh, my my! Oh, hell yes! Ya got to put on that party dress!

I rose to place a kiss on her neck and lingered there lovingly. She pretended to ignore me, not ready to give up her sulk. I moved to her lips, but she moved her face away in childish protest. My fingers sought out the buttons of her blouse and her hands came up to stop me.

"What are you doing?"

"I want you."

"I'm not in the mood."

"Let me work on that."

"How?"

"What do you want?"

She was caving, I could tell. I mean, who could resist me?

"What are you willing to do?"

"Anything."

"Like what?"

"Tell me what you want. I won't say no."

"You tell me."

I thought fast. "I'll model for you."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"In your thong?"

"If you like."

"You've been wearing it for almost two days. It could model for me without you."

Ouch! "I have another one."

"What color?"

"White."

"Nah, white doesn't do it for me."

"Help me out here."

"You're the seductress."

"It's my first time."

She gave me an odd look. "What?"

"It's my first time."

"For what?"

"Being the seductress."

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope."

"My God, you really have been spoiled."

I flopped back into her lap in frustration. "You're killing me."

"I told you I wasn't in the mood."

I sat up and took an empty space on the couch. Was it possible that I wasn't the chick magnet I thought I was? No, that just couldn't be it. Something else had to be going on here. I stared at her confusedly, wanting an explanation.

She readjusted her blouse and reached for the remote, clicking on the TV and ignoring me completely.

I gaped at her in astonishment, a tantrum gaining momentum. What the fuck was this? Not only had I been fuckin' rejected, I'd been shot right out of the fuckin' saddle. It wasn't every fucking day I threw myself at someone. In fact, I'd never thrown myself at fucking anyone. What sort of Mickey fucking fuckity fuck fuck Mouse game was she playing?

Mere seconds away from pitching a fit, a blast of awareness washed over me and I eyed her carefully. I was being manipulated. It had all been way too deliberate. I'd be the first one to admit that I could at times, be pretty damn dense, but if there was one thing I wasn't, it was a fool. It didn't make me angry that she was playing me for one, I was always angry. She made me mad.

"Anabel?"

She turned an inquiring look in my direction. "Yes?"

"I changed my mind."

"About what?"

"I think now would be a perfect time to discuss my personal failings."

"Oh? Why?"

"I dunno, I just fuckin' feel like it."

"Please don't use…"

"I'm going to use that word anytime I want and if you slap me again, I'll slap you back," I interrupted, rising to my feet and seating myself on the coffee table directly in front of her.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, probably more than I should've because it's left me feeling generally confused. Be that as it may, I don't like to be manipulated, Annie. I already know enough about myself to realize I have problems. I don't like to have them pointed out to me, because odds are, I'm already well aware of them. Some I don't care about and some I'm trying to work on, but they're my problems and I don't want you to fix them. However, if it'll make you feel better, or if you're just curious, I'll let you in on what I've figured about myself."

She just stared at me.

"I am spoiled. I've been fortunate enough to have people in my life that would, and have, gone to great lengths to protect me, love me, and tolerate me. I've really never been denied but one thing, and that was Sophie. I was in love with her for so long that it took almost a decade for me to put it behind me. "

I paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm selfish because I've only had myself to deal with for far too long. I'm cynical because I give a shit and far too many don't. I'm hateful because like everybody, I'm a hypocrite. But unlike most, I realize it and I don't like it. I'm rude because some people don't understand anything else. And I'm mean because until I met you, I hadn't been laid in over three years. I won't bother to tell you how long it was before that."

She gave me a chuckle and a little grin.

"It feels right when I'm with you, Annie. I'd very much like this to work, but don't take a therapeutic approach with me. Take me as I am or don't take me at all."

She chewed on her lip, her face thoughtful. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess I'll have to take you," she said slowly. "But… I have conditions of my own."

"Yes?"

"Take a shower first."

I blinked. "What?"

"You're right. Fuck the shower."

She surged off the couch and tackled me from the coffee table in a blur, both of us landing on the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. Damn but the chick could move when she wanted to! Fingers labored rabidly at my waist, unclasping my belt, pulling it off with a flourish, and then tossing it away wantonly. I looked up at her with undisguised fascination. What was with the bizarre need to knock me to floor before mating? It struck me as a lot like being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I mean really, all she had to do was say the word and I would've happily moonwalked nude into the bedroom and performed a half gainer on to the mattress.

My train of thought whispered away as my shirt fell open and my bra was pulled up over my boobs. She fell upon them with an urgent zeal, and it was soon impossible for me to think about anything. Well, almost anything…heh, heh, heh.

Continued