Summary - Rayven a wildlife photographer and journalist returns to claim her ranch, while Jaxon Segreto, Chief of the elite firefighter team Blue Mountain Firefighters does some soul searching.
Disclaimer - This is an original work of fiction. The characters are mine. The story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. Some of the scenes/plot devices are actual events from my family history.
Some bad language, minor violence, a dead mouse and a nasty Aunt Lois who wants revenge.
Feedback - Any and all feedback, comments, and suggestions will be appreciated.
Started 2000 - finished August 2004 -- Story is complete.
I would like to thank those that have written asking how the revision was progressing. Sorry it has taken so long. The difference in this and what was previous posted I hope is a tighter story. I took many of your feedback suggestions and incorporated them into the new revision. I also took out some scenes and added a few new ones. I hope I also succeeded in tying up some lose ends and leaving an opening for a sequel if I chose to write one.
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Chapter One
The bone tired, butt dragging, watery eyed, charcoal covered, exhausted body of Jaxon Segreto, Chief of the Blue Mountain Firefighters trudged wearily up the steps to her apartment. After managing to mumble a polite good-bye to the baby sitter, she closed and locked the door.
Jacqueline Tamara Segreto better known as Jaxon by her firefighter team or Jaxx by her friends took off her boots by the door, left them there so the noise of walking across the Ponderosa pine wooden floor wouldn't wake her sleeping child. Then she tugged her denim shirt from the waist of her jeans and headed down the narrow hall to the first bedroom, unbuttoning her shirt along the way. Slowly she opened the door, poked her head in and confirmed her rug rat was sleeping. She took a step back and closed the door then continued down the hall to the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes threw them in the hamper and climbed into the shower, not even bothering to turn on the light. Shutting off the water a short time later, she grabbed a towel hanging from the rack and wrapped it around her lean muscular body. The dark hair woman staggered into the master bedroom, stopping momentary to set her alarm on the bedside table, before falling face first across the bed. She was asleep instantly.
Four hours later she was awakened to the irritating electronic racket of her alarm clock. Groaning as she reached over and shut it off, sleepy blue eyes glanced out the window above her head and saw the moon shining brightly. Jaxon threw back the sheet, untangled a long tanned, muscular leg and climbed out of bed - all five foot eleven inches of her. She put on her running gear, which consisted of shorts, a sleeveless green sweatshirt and her trusty, well-worn, sneakers - of which she had four pairs hiding on a shelf in her closet. A hardcore runner never throws away their trusty sneakers. After completing her warm up, she checked on Donny before grabbing her cell phone and keys. She stopped by her neighbors' apartment to remind the older woman to keep a eye on her son and set off at a steady but leisurely pace.
One hour later, she was in the shower, shaving her legs and doing a poor job of it. For one thing, she'd forgotten, the blade on the disposable razor was brand new. Even with a new Bit Lady razor, she lacked the patience to shave properly. "Fuck!" she muttered as she cut the skin below and over her kneecap. Blood mingled with the spray from the showerhead, flowing in a thin stream onto the colorful smooth ceramic tile floor. "I see it didn't help buying the female model guaranteed to not cut the skin." So much for the commercial she saw on television, she thought to herself. A long tanned arm reached from behind the forest green shower curtain, flung it back and tore off a square of ultra soft toilet paper. She pressed it against the cut, then stepped onto the bath mat and began to dry her muscular body.
Jaxon glanced at her reflection in the full-length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door. Her hair, which she always wore in a ponytail secured by a worn leather string, was as black and glossy as a raven's wing. Her cheekbones were high and prominent, her coloring a simmering copper that took on a burnished sheen in the summer time. Hidden depths and currents as clear and blue as the high-mountain lakes shadowed her eyes. At twenty-nine, Jaxon was an attractive woman. While, the outside impression was one of steadfast confidence and rock-hard muscle, the inside was a different issue that very few had ever seen. She tried to remember how long it had been since anyone had seen her naked. She was far too busy for that type of entertainment or complications, besides the only person she ever wanted to see her that way she'd pushed out of her life almost eight years ago.
Unbidden came the memory of a young golden-haired woman, then the pain, the twisting ache of remembered passion and love and finally her betrayal that shattered the young woman's heart and her own in the process. With great effort, Jaxon pushed the memory to the back of her mind and proceeded to get dressed. She walked out of her bedroom and down the hall. Quietly she opened the door next to hers and stepped inside. Curled up into a ball underneath a Harry Potter bedspread was her seven-year old son Donald. His eyes were green and his short golden hair was curly, a constant reminder of her lost love and her betrayal. Tears formed in her vivid, brilliant blue eyes as she looked upon her son; he was the only good thing that came from that horrible day eight years ago.
Jaxon and Rayven shared every significant event in life together: their first slumber party, kindergarten, going to the movies, camp outs, mountain climbing and their birthdays, which were two days apart. The Firefighter' sucked in a deep breath; she couldn't remember a day or an event that didn't have Rayven in it. She remembered their first kiss in the tree house, behind her parent's house and that very special night, a week after they turned sixteen, when they shared their bodies for the first time, in what was to be the beginning of three years of gentle exploration, love and devotion.
Then the summer of their nineteenth year came. They had moved into a small house of their own. Rayven was a journalist apprentice for the local Gazette and Jaxon had her dream job as a firefighter for the elite group called the Blue Mountain Firefighters. The adrenaline rush was amazing after fighting a fire, second only to the rush she received after climbing a difficult mountain face. The thrill, excitement and the heat magnified itself depending upon the danger level. The fireman's lust, they called it.
The date, October 15th, two years after they moved in together, kept repeating over in her mind. After a horrendous day of smoke, flames and the death of two of her teammates, Tom Harris, a fellow firefighter, had volunteered to take her home. Jaxon remembered coughing from all the smoke she had breathed in and crying at the loss of her friends. She had felt numb - as if she were floating. Then Tom was there next to her, holding her, removing her heavy coat, boots, gloves and hat. Before she realized what was happening he was kissing her, wiping away her tears, mumbling soothing words.
Next she heard the broken voice of her lover, "I came as soon as I heard, Jaxon." The female firefighter jumped up from the couch throwing Tom off her half naked body as she stood on wobbly feet. Rayven took a step forward, rested her hands on the back of the couch, and looked down at a naked Tom.
Her wife looked at her with such pain in her green eyes that it broke Jaxon's heart to know she had put it there. "Why?"
"Rayven." Jaxon gasped. She shook her head trying to clear the fog that surrounded her.
"I was told you were hurt. Instead I find you having sex with a man, in our home." she choked out.
"Rayven, please." Jaxx reached for her pants putting them on quickly. "I can explain."
"Are you going to tell me you weren't having sex with Tom? Are you going to tell me you didn't betray me? Are you going to say you didn't break the vows you made at our joining?"
Jaxon shifted from one bare foot to the other, coughing as she tried to clear her raw throat. Jaxx couldn't deny what her wife said; Rayven spoke the truth. But why was she having sex with Tom? She didn't even like the guy as a team firefighter or a friend. Tom slowly got to his feet dressed and silently left through the side entrance with a smirk on his handsome face.
"Please," Rayven cried out, tears flowing down her cheeks, as she watched him leave. "Please, Jaxon, tell me I'm wrong in what I saw."
Jaxon couldn't tell her lover she was wrong. Silence was her answer. She didn't understand it herself.
Rayven turned away as the room remained silent. She wanted to break down and cry. She could hardly swallow back the bile in her throat. Her heart was breaking as she slowly walked out of the room. A short time later, with suitcases in hand, Rayven left. All Jaxx could do was crumble in the corner of the house, holding herself, crying, until exhaustion over took her. Three months later, her fears were confirmed: Jaxon Segreto was pregnant.
As she shook the bump under the covers she said, "Come on tiger, it's time to get up."
"Momma?" came the sleepy voice.
"It's time to get up big guy. I have to drive up to Huckleberry Mountain this morning and check the towers. You want to come?"
The bump moved, covers went flying, and a small body came hurling at her, almost knocking her backwards. With his legs surrounding her waist in a vise grip and arms circling her neck, "you bet," Donny said excitedly.
"Okay." Jaxx laughed. "I see I have a new way to get you out of bed." The innocent statement brought back more memories of all the mornings Jaxon had a hard time waking Rayven. Shaking her head, she hugged her son tightly to her breast.
<<<
Rayven Erika McEllis was returning home as the sole owner of the largest ranch in Oregon. As she drove her sky blue Ford Explorer along highway US - 31, on her way to Silver Lake, Oregon, she wondered. Why? Why was she going back to Sleepy Springs, the ranch she grew up on? Why now? What did she hope to find there? At the same time she had butterflies in her stomach and lightning bugs in her feet. Her wait was almost over.
An hour later, the green-and-white interstate sign read Exit Silver Lake, one mile. She switched on her turn signal and slowed for the exit. She crossed the old steel bridge that separated the town from the freeway. It was still an ugly green, in need of a paint job, with names and designs painted in a multitude of colors covering it. She remembered when Jaxon had climbed to the top and painted their initials on their sixteenth birthday, and had to smile at the memory.
Memories, good and bad, flooded her mind, demanding her reflection. Rayven had spent the first nineteen years of her life in Silver Lake. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Pulling into Frank's Gas Station she switched off the ignition. For a moment, the pull of her memories surrounded her, suffocated her, until a young man asked what she needed. "Fill it up, please." Rayven responded out of habit.
After paying the young man, her mood darkened and she restarted the Explorer. She didn't want to think about Jaxon Segreto. She had more than enough to deal with, without digging up the past. There was no point in remembering what should and could have been. The last she heard Jaxx had married Tom Harris four months after she left Silver Lake, and they had moved to Olympic, Washington where both were working for Olympic National Forest.
Deciding she would take a drive through town before heading out to her parent's place, she shoved all thoughts of Jaxon to the back of her mind and began to notice the changes in the small town.
Silver Lake was picturesque, the small downtown featuring false-front Western-style buildings. The one stop sign was now a stop light, the Ponderosa Restaurant was named Pop's and the high school was now a junior high school. Mason's feed store was still on the corner of Smith and Third. There was Parker's laundry mat with adjoining Ed's barbershop and Mae's beauty salon. Two banks, the post office and a real-estate office shared with an insurance agency. Down one street was the grange hall, down another; city hall.
Not sure what she would find at the old house, she decided lunch was in order. Pulling into the Western Auto Parking lot next to Pop's Dinner, she grabbed her small backpack from the passenger seat and stepped out. Drawing in a deep breath she smiled; one of the things she missed in her travels was the smell of clean mountain air, free of smog, pollution, decay and death.
Pop's was exactly as she remembered. It used to be a hang out for the young teens of the small town. Chocolate milkshakes and hamburgers were the specialty as the old jukebox played the latest tunes, of Billy Idol, Fleetwood, Pink Floyd and rock-n-roll plus many more. Taking a seat at one of the booths at the back of the restaurant, she picked up the extremely used and stained paper menu. She stared at it unseeing as more memories flooded her mind. Everyone laughing after some joke was told, or bragging about how the Maniac's had won a football game. Jaxx's large warm hand on her thigh under the protection of the table always offering comfort and security. The blue eyes and that bright smile that was her world, until . . . until her world fell apart, shattering her soul in the process.
"Rayven . . . Rayven McEllis, is that you?" Came a soft voice.
As she slowly turned her head Rayven was looking into the questioning face of her Aunt, Lois Garrett. Older now, she had wrinkles around her eyes and the corners of her mouth, but her dark brown eyes still held the same old fire in them. She wondered if her Aunt was still as prejudiced as before. "Hello Aunt Lois."
"What's it been, Rayven, nine years?"
"Eight."
"May I sit down?" Aunt Lois asked as she motioned with her hand to the opposite side of the table.
"Of course, I'm sorry." Rayven replied quickly. No, I'm not.
"How have you been, Rayven?"
"I'm fine."
"I'm sorry about your mom." she said softly while placing a wrinkled hand over Rayven's, which was lying on the table's surface. As she did she noticed the ring on the young woman's finger. "You're married?"
"Thank you. It was a hard time for me. I felt it was time to come home and settle my parent's affairs." Rayven purposely avoided her Aunt's question with a rehearsed response.
"Is your husband here with you?" Aunt Lois asked while turning her head to look around the restaurant.
She waited a moment then said, "No, he isn't here."
"I'm glad you finally came to your senses and found someone to make you into a proper woman like Tom Harris did Jacqueline Segreto," Aunt Lois stated disgustedly. "It made me sick the way you and her carried on, disgracing your family. I'm glad Tom finally showed Jacqueline that a man is what she needed, not living some perverted lifestyle with you. She's happily married to a man she loves. I tell you..."
"Stop!" Rayven demanded. She sat without speaking for several moments, her hands clenched in her lap. Her chin went up and her gaze hardened perceptibly. "I did not want your opinion when I was younger, Aunt Lois, and I sure as hell don't want it now." Her words falling like chipped ice. "It looks like nothing's changed. You are still the bitch you always were."
"You're right, Rayven. I haven't changed and I never will." Aunt Lois stood, abruptly turned and hurried out the back door.
<<<
Lois breathing grew rapid as she walked down the street to the pay phone on the corner. The evil monster that lived inside of her came out in full force, ruling her, owning her. Reaching into her purse she brought out a hand full of quarters and slapped them down on the metal shelf. Slamming several dollars worth in to the silver cold box she quickly dialed a number. "I will not let that . . . that niece of mine ruin everything." While waiting impatiently for a voice to answer she noticed the metal casing around the pay phone bore the scars of countless vandals and a long chain hung freely where a phone book should have been, A stark representation of humanities destruction.
The phone rang for several minutes before a sleepy voice answered with a harsh, "Hello."
"If you want the person responsible for murdering your lover eight years ago, join the Blue Mountain Firefighters in Silver Lake, Oregon. Chief Jacqueline Segreto is your killer." With finality she hung up the receiver.
<<<
Jaxon parked the light green company's truck at the base of Huckleberry Hill. "Grab your tin cans Donny and we'll pick some berries while we're here."
"Cool, Mom. Do I still get fifty cents for each quart?" he asked excitedly.
"How about I raise that to seventy-five cents?"
"Alright, let's go." Donny responded as he grabbed his tins with the strings tied to them and climbed out of the truck.
"Slow down, Donny, it's a long walk to the top." Jaxx laughed at her son's enthusiasm.
"Mom?"
"Yeah!"
"Tell me the story about the Huckleberry."
"Again?" she moaned aloud.
"I like it."
As she reached over and ruffled his blonde curls, she began the tale. "For years, American Indians spent the summers high in the mountains of Oregon hunting, fishing, picking berries and celebrating the plentiful gifts of the land. They named the huckleberry, Olallie."
Her voice took on a melancholy tone and Donald knew his Mom was remembering a different time. She did that a lot; he loved to listen to her voice as she told tales of her youth, which always included a person named Rayven. He had never met Rayven and wondered what she was like. He knew she held a very special place in his Mom's heart and he wished he could meet her someday.
"I remember it as if it were only yesterday, picking Huckleberries for the first time with Rayven. I was eight years old. I can close my eyes and see the bushes hanging with their small plumb fruit, which had ignited the hills into a burgundy blaze. Feel and smell the hot still air, hear the laughter of my friends and family nearby, gathering tins on strings around our necks and being told to not put more in our mouth than in the pail. Rayven and I had wandered off to the south of where my parents were and found a large group of berries. We sat down on a log and started to pick the juicy fruit, putting as many in our mouths as we did in the bucket." Jaxon laughed remembering the purple stain on Rayven's lips and tongue.
"Moving deeper into the thicket of berries, Rayven reached for a bush that was covered with white berries. As she began to put one in her mouth I yelled for her to stop."
"Why Mom? I thought you said the white ones were good to eat." Donny interrupted, as he snagged a plump berry from the huckleberry bush which was draped over every hill in view and in between each stand of trees.
"They are, Donny, but there are red ones called Bear Berries and they're poisonous. At that time, I wasn't sure what Rayven had found. I didn't want her to get sick," she replied.
"Would you show me what a Bear Berry looks like again so I'll be sure not to eat one?"
"Of course, honey. My cousin Robert ate some Bear Berries once when he was only a year old and almost died. His stomach swelled up like a giant balloon. The skin was stretched so tight you could almost see through it."
"Did they take him to the hospital?"
"We didn't have a hospital in Silver Lake at that time, but there was a small medic center for the loggers. The closest one was in Moses Lake some 150 miles away."
"What happened?"
"My Mom used the neighbor's phone and called the hospital in Moses Lake. Dr. Pappehagen told her to take the end of a syringe and put it in Robert's bottom. She taped it so it wouldn't move and left it in over night. I remember it sounded like air slowly being released from a tire."
"Mom, that's gross." Donny wrinkled his nose at her.
"Yeah, it was. But he's alive today because of it."
"Okay, no Bear Berries for me. I don't want a syringe stuck up my butt."
"You won't, besides we finally have a nice hospital in town. I'm sure there is a more modern way to take care of it now. You want to hear the rest of the story or not?"
"Please. Like Eww . . . Gross . . . Mom." He responded with a big blue smile, purple teeth and blue lips.
Chuckling, Jaxon went on to tell the story of how her and Rayven had discovered the first albino Huckleberries. The story ended with their pictures in the local newspaper and a pie of their very own.
<<<
After Rayven left Pop's she stopped at Barney's Super Market to pick up a few supplies, then headed out of town on Old Wells Bench Road. Fifty miles from town she pulled off onto a gravel road and drove another two miles. Coming around a curve in the road she spotted the old yellow house standing strong and proud against the setting sun.
Allowing the Explorer to come to a stop before the locked gate, she shut the ignition off and stared at Sleepy Springs Ranch. Her green eyes clouded, tears flowed freely down her cheeks as the memories played in her mind.
She remembered her first sleigh ride when she was six. "Daddy, Daddy can Jaxon come too?" Rayven yelled above the sound of the old truck engine.
"Of course, dear. Your friend is more than welcome to come. Where you go, she goes." Her father picked up first her and then Jaxon and settled them into the over turned hood of one of the old cars that were parked in the far corner of the ranch. The hood was then chained to the back of the 1967 Ford truck.
"Hang on tight now," her father said as he got into the cab of the Ford, put it into gear, and slowly pulled the homemade sleigh down the road.
"This is fun." Jaxon said as she moved closer to Rayven. "You scared?"
"Little bit." Rayven replied as Jaxon helped her settle in between her long legs. Strong arms enclosed Rayven in warmth and strength.
"How's that?" Jaxon smiled.
"Good. Thank you, Jaxx." Rayven answered settling back into Jaxon's warm body. Now she could enjoy the ride.
"Jaxx?" asked Jaxon.
"Your nickname." Rayven replied as she patted the legs wrapped securing around her smaller body.
"I like it," Jaxon smiled. Laughter and yells of joy filled the afternoon air as they had one of the best times of their young life.
Rayven pushed the memory to the back of her mind as she got out opening the gate. After driving through she locked the gate and proceeded down the dirt road to the house. As she walked up the old wooden steps she paused a moment to gaze out over seemingly endless acres of green. Against a cloudless blue sky, the peaks of the Cascade mountain range loomed in the distance. They were magnificent. Capped with a light layer of spring snow, their ridges splashed with an array of colors and their lower levels a carpet of deep green from the multitude of trees surrounding the base. The mountains beckoned her, reminding her how long it had been since she'd breathed in pine-scented air or spent a day on horseback exploring a high-country trail. Too long since she'd cast a line into a crystalline blue streams or dipped her hands into water so cold and clear it took her breath away. Rayven drew in a deep breath before she walked into the house that held her past and possibly her future.
<<<
Donny thought that maybe now was the time to ask his Mom about Rayven. He knew they meant a lot to each other. His friend Bobbie said his Mom got a weird look in her eyes like his Mom did when she talked about his dad. When Bobbie had asked about it his Mom had said she loved his father with all her heart. Did Mom love Rayven the same way? They never talked about his Dad, but she did talk about Rayven. His Mom was a girl and he loved her. Rayven was a girl too, so did his Mom love her? He guessed it was okay for his Mom to love a girl. After all, he loved his Mom. It had to be more than simply being friends. He didn't get all goofy eyed when he thought of Bobbie.
"How did you meet Rayven?" Donny asked as he climbed over a fallen log. Jaxon had finished the story and they were walking up the trail to the tower.
Jaxx stopped and leaned against the fallen log. Meet her? She could barely remember a time when she hadn't known Rayven Erika McEllis. "We met in kindergarten, I guess. We went through school together."
Donny grinned from ear to ear. His Mom had that look again. "So you were like girlfriends?" He giggled. "Like Aunt Emily and Aunt Hailey."
"Donny, why are you so curious about Rayven?"
"Mom, you get this funny far off look in your eyes when you talk about her." Donny shrugged his small shoulders. "Bobbie's mom looks at his dad like that and Walter looks at Penny like that at school."
"Far away look?"
"Yeah, Walter says it's cause he's in loooovvvvve." Donny giggled then continued. "Bobbie's mom loves his dad. I asked Uncle Matt why he looks at Uncle Jaden with that same look and he said it was the look of love. So I thought you must love Rayven." Small fingers tugged at a piece of loose bark.
Jaxon had never hidden her feelings from Donny about Rayven and she always tried to be honest with her son. "I guess it's time I tell you about Rayven and me."
"Did you love her?"
"Yes, I still do very much," she responded quietly, reflecting on earlier days. "We were friends for a long time before it became girlfriend/girlfriend relationship during junior high school."
She answered the question before her mind went back; briefly, to envision the teenager she had fallen in love with. Rayven was small for her age, thin and athletic, an excellent student and a fantastic mountain climber.
"So, it wasn't like Uncle Matt said? Love at first sight?"
Jaxon smiled. "You're very nosy today," she remarked. "But I guess with Rayven and me, it was more a friendship at first sight. We were inseparable as kids. I always knew she would be the best part of my life. The love part kind of caught us by surprise." Very much by surprise, she recalled, as she thought of that long walk home from high school one day.
It was a long time ago. The rain had been none stop for several days. Making walking slippery and tedious. They were slowly walking down the slippery road from the bus stop to Rayven's house, loaded down with books and their gym bags, when Jaxon accidentally slipped, falling face down in the mud. The books, she was carrying, flew in the air landing in a mud puddle, with a loud splash. Although the fall didn't hurt her, her fourteen-year-old pride was wounded.
But Rayven hadn't laughed, not even a giggle. She wouldn't have blamed her. The sight of her tall clumsily body covered in water and mud would have been amusing. But she hadn't. "Jaxon!" Rayven had anxiously called out her name. "Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself? Let me help you." The blonde dropped her belongings on the ground and knelt beside her best friend as she sat up.
Jaxon smeared at the mud and water that covered her face and hair, only making it worse. "I'm okay . . . just embarrassed," she replied, as Rayven wiped more mud from her friends face with small warm hands.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Jaxx," she'd responded immediately, pushing strands of dark wet hair away from her friend's forehead in a tender touch. Friends. That's all they were, wasn't it? In that moment, it felt different. It felt like they were more, than friends. But what? Rayven knelt only inches from her in the muddy rain soaked road, while she looked for a long moment in the blue eyes that viewed her with new curiosity.
"An accident..." the smaller girl hesitated before lowering her shy green eyes to look away, " . . . could happen . . . to anyone." Rayven stumbled through the sentence. Then, she cautiously looked back to find that those beautiful blue eyes hadn't strayed from her face. The blonde smiled a little, timidly, and Jaxon thought for the first time how gorgeous her friend was. Flooded in unfamiliar feelings and thoughts, Jaxon slowly leaned forward, her lips brushing Rayven's in a soft kiss that was returned, tentatively at first, then, gradually, with a little more confidence. They finally broke apart, each of them settling back onto the muddy, wet ground gasping for breath.
"Mom," Donny interrupted the private memory," tell me about how you fell in love."
The slight curve of Jaxon's mouth was the only hint of the emotion behind the memories. "It's difficult to tell you the precise moment you know you're in love, Donny. You'll understand it better when you get older and fall in love." But in fact, Jaxx knew the exact instant it had been for her: that afternoon in the mud and rain. After that kiss, Jaxon and Rayven were one.
Before Donny could ask any more questions, they crested the mountain. A few scattered clouds appeared, but seemed white and as innocent as spring fawns. The view of the golden rays of sun highlighting the surrounding mountains was breathtaking. As far as the eye could see, a thick fog blanketed the valley floor and bald eagles flew high in the sky above them.
"Mom, it's beautiful." Donny reached out and placed his hand in her larger one. "Is this why you call it God's Country?"
The spectacular view always took Jaxon's breath away; it made her feel small in comparison. "Yes, son, this is God's country."
"Are those human voices I hear, or have I finally lost it?" A voice drifted down from above.
Looking up, Jaxon saw Becky White's head poking out from the tower railing.
"Becky, its Jaxon and Donald Segreto, can we come up?"
The lookout tower was a steel structure up to 75 feet tall. There were many towers located throughout Freemont National Forest; they were used to spot forest fires. The advantage of fire lookouts is that they are fixed-detection and the lookout on duty watches large areas of land. The faster the call comes in to headquarters that a fire has started, whether from lightening storms or humans, the quicker the Firefighters could put it out.
For six months, the towers were home to a single individual. It was a lonely way to make a living. Weeks could go by without any visitors. Relief came once a month and stayed for three days, allowing the lookout to go to town, replenish supplies and have some downtime.
"You bet, come on up. I haven't seen another living soul in almost two weeks." Becky laughed.
After climbing the 92 steps, which Donny counted aloud every time they came up here, they finally reached the locked gate. For security reasons, heavy duty steel gates, eight foot by three feet, were placed on each tower, shielding the only entrance and exit not only from humans but also black and brown bears that called the area their home. The bears could climb as well as any human. The horrible accident back in '72 proved that. A hiker found one of the lookouts mauled to death in his bunk.
Becky unlocked the gate so Jaxon and Donny could entered the small 'cap', the name given to the living quarters at the top of the tower. The 'cap' was a 14 foot square with a small bunk in one corner, the radio table sitting next to it and a small camper's kitchen off to the side. A port-a-potty was in the corner opposite the bunk and had an army blanket hanging from the ceiling beams hiding it from view.
Jaxon walked over to one of the open windows and looked off toward the mountains. She wondered as she had a million times before, where Rayven was and what she was doing, if she was happy, and if she had someone in her life. Swallowing hard, she wondered if Rayven was in love.
Rayven haunted her. The dark haired woman saw her at the playground, saw her in the woods when she fought a fire, saw her every time she turned around, every time she shut her eyes and every time she opened them. At home, it was even worse. There she saw Rayven in her dreams. What would I do if I ever saw her again? she thought.
<<<
Later, alone in her home, Rayven replayed her Aunt's words; Jaxon was happily married to Tom Harris. Suddenly, a feeling of helplessness washed over her. Once the first tear fell, the rest came out in a thunderstorm as she sat curled in the corner of the old brown couch. The windows stood open, the fading sun warmed her cheeks, while the wind caught her up on all that she had missed.
After awhile, her sobs receded to just an occasional hiccup. Taking a tissue from the box on the table beside the couch she wiped her damp face and eyes. "So what do you think, honey?" Rayven whispered to the child growing inside her. "Should we stay here or find another place to call home?" She placed her hand over her stomach and rubbed gently. "I love you, honey, but I'm scared." Rayven continued in a soothing voice hoping her baby could feel her love. "Being alone won't be easy, but we'll get by, I promise."
Four years ago she knew nothing about being pregnant; since then she had read every book she could get her hands on. She smiled when she thought about how small her baby was and at how such a little thing could cause her to be so sick in the mornings.
Rayven had decided at the age of twenty-five that she wanted a child. She made appointments, visited clinics and reviewed thousands of available donors but none matched her heart's desire and that was to complement Jaxon's features as close as possible. She had never stopped loving her wife and maybe it was selfish, but she wanted her child to look like her ex-lover, the person who still owned her heart and soul. How can I love her so and hate her at the same time? What would I do if I ever saw her again?
After leaving Silver Lake, Rayven had put herself through college. Her thesis paper received great reviews and caught the eye of National Geographic Magazine. She went on her first assignment two weeks after she graduated college. Now she was a well- respected freelance journalist who worked for several nationally known magazines and publications.
On her last assignment, in Australia, her tour guide, Mark Serrano, could have been Jaxon's twin brother. The height, skin coloring, hair that was so black it looked blue and sky blue eyes were a perfect match. In fact it was too perfect a match and Rayven's mind came up with some weird scenarios.
Curiosity got the best of her and she contacted a closer friend, Jase Moreland back in the States who was also a private investigator and asked her to perform a full investigation on Mark Serrano. The results surpassed her wildest dreams.
Years ago the Segreto family had a feud ending in a family split; some went out west others went far across the seas. Peter Segreto went to Australia where he changed his name to Serrano and raised his family. Mark Serrano was Peter's son making him Jaxon Segreto's first cousin.
A ton of signed legal documents, a trip to the local clinic, and two months later her dream was fulfilled: she was pregnant.
Her doctor in Chicago had advised her to take a leave of absence from her job as her blood pressure was reaching the danger levels. He suggested she should take a vacation, find a place to relax and follow a strict diet and exercise routine to help lower her blood pressure. That is what she had done. She went home to Sleepy Springs Ranch, to a place that held many good memories for her. To a place she could feel the love of her late parents surrounding her. Another wave of fear and loneliness washed over her. "We'll make it, sweetie, you and I." She whispered as a million memories, sweet and sad, whirled through her mind. Leaning her head against the back of the couch, she closed her eyes, letting the past wash over her.
<<<
"Donny!" Jaxon called as she put away the last of her supplies in the pickup. "We're running late."
The firefighter closed the truck door while listening for her son's reply. When none came, she crossed the yard and stepped inside the house. She glanced around the living room, kitchen and family room but Donny was nowhere in sight. The chief headed for her son's room, hoping to find him there.
"Donald!" she called again, irritated when Jaxx saw him sitting at his computer playing a game while his backpack lay on the floor untouched. "I told you to get your stuff ready, you're staying with Mrs. Dailey while I'm gone," Jaxon said.
At the sound of his mother's voice, Donny jumped to his feet causing the chair to fall over. "I don't want to go alone," he said defensively. "I want to go with you."
"Honey, you can't go with me. You know that." Jaxon's voice had calmed.
"I don't want you to go." He said as his lower lip began to tremble.
Jaxon walked over and sat on the end of the bed, holding her arms out to her son. Within seconds, he was nestled securely in her lap. "Honey, I thought you liked Mrs. Dailey."
"I do, she makes great cookies." He nested closer. Donny loved being in the warmth and protection of his mothers' arms.
"Why don't you want to go?" she asked gently as she kissed her son's head.
"Don't want you to die." His little body jerked with sobs. "Uncle Jaden said the fires are going to be real bad this year."
"Donny, honey, I'm not going to die. It'll be okay, you'll see."
"Promise?"
"I promise, and I always keep my promises." All but one, she thought.
"Okay," came a soft reply.
"Help me get your things packed up."
"Can I ride Ginger over to Sleepy Springs and pick apples in the orchard?" Donny asked while grabbing some computer games, books, and other odds and ends. "Mrs. Dailey makes great apple pies."
Jaxon smiled. The kid never thought about clothes. "Yeah, I'll let Mrs. Dailey know you have my permission. Please, be careful."
"Thanks, Mom, I will."
<<<
Rayven woke to the trill of a bird outside the opened window, where sunlight streamed in. Somewhere a metal pail clanged and the chimes that hung from the large tree out front were tinkling in the morning breeze. She sighed and wondered what time it was, then swept back the blanket and climbed out of bed, all five foot four inches of her.
Her suitcases stood upright at the foot of the bed. She laid the first one down on the floor and snapped the latch to open it. She glanced at the half-rumpled, half folded clothes inside and frowned. She went through the clothes and laid out a clean set. From the second suitcase, she added her hair dryer, and a small personal bag to the stack, then gathered them up and carried them into the bathroom.
She peered into the stall and couldn't decide if she would be any cleaner after a shower than when she started. She didn't like showering with green, slimy algae on the tiled walls. Sighing, she started digging under the sink, praying she'd find a can of cleanser.
While she waited for the water to get hot in the shower, she loaded her toothbrush with toothpaste. As she lifted the brush to her mouth, she looked at the mirror in front of her and paused, momentarily distracted by the reflected image of her green eyes that hinted at mysteries and emotions that rarely ruffled her surface.
At twenty-nine, Rayven was a very attractive woman. Some said she was drop-dead gorgeous. Her body, as her last cameraman said, was 'stacked'. She took pride in keeping her body healthy and fit.
With an effort, Rayven shook herself from her musing and finished brushing her teeth, then adjusted the temperature, and stepped beneath the spray, pulling the blue plastic curtain shut. Thank goodness she had called and had the water and electricity turned on before she arrived. She stood beneath the pulsating jets of water, letting them beat at her and massage away the tension. Steam billowed around her, an enervating heat that relaxed all her muscles and soothed her too taut nerves.
When she stepped out of the shower, Rayven felt cleaner and so was the shower. She was now ready to face the day. Wasting little time, she dried herself and began to blow dry her hair.
A short time later, her waist long blonde hair still felt slightly damp to the touch. Rayven decided that was good enough and unplugged the dryer, securing her hair with an old leather string. Dressing leisurely, she pulled a pair of faded jeans on and slipped a T-shirt over her head. Walking back into the bedroom she sat on the edge of the bed while she slipped her hiking boots on.
She wondered once again if she had made a mistake coming back. There was nothing to hold her to the Sleepy Springs but memories. Her parents were dead and her only living relative, Aunt Lois, hated her.
<<<
The rescue call came in the pre dawn hours that a small girl was lost in the Shawnee Pass. The parents and several other families had been camping, hiking and enjoying the wilderness when a black bear had startled the group, causing fear and hysteria. When everyone had settled down and the bear ran off due to the loud screaming the mother noticed her five-year-old daughter was missing. After searching for several hours Jaxon found the small child perched on a ledge after falling a short distance in the dark. She was diabetic and needed attention immediately.
Before returning home Jaxon had decided to climb the Kiral. She loved the mountains and everything about climbing: the height, the roughness and beauty of the rock itself; the wide-open wild places that were home to her. She loved the adventure, challenge and discipline it took to learn a new face and the strength and independence it demanded. She loved the adrenaline rush when she made it to the top. Most of all, she loved the way the wild country spoke to her, sang to her, and calmed her soul.
Jaxon friends often asked her, "Don't you get lonely out here by yourself?" She would smile and say, "Can't you hear the music? It's all around you, in the way the animal's play, in the wind blowing through the trees, and in the way the water skips and flows over rocks in the rivers. Even the clouds and sun overhead sing. How could one be lonely with all of this?" spreading her arms to encompass her surroundings. "This is God's country."
The sun was beginning to climb up the sides of the mountain peaks, awakening the land with its hint of a warm day. She flipped her long pony tail over her shoulder, put on her harness, her glove tight climbing shoes and reached up for the first hand holds with a brilliant smile on her face. This was one of the few places she felt totally at peace with herself.
<<
Rayven finished packing her daypack, spare ropes, a bag full of slings, quick draws, and carabiners in her truck. She was excited about climbing the Kiral. It was rated a 5.12b climb. She knew that before long the doctor would advise against her climbing up a rock face. Until then she was going to make the most of it. Rayven pulled off the road into a parking area where she used to always park for the hike into the Kiral. The sky was clear but a cool wind blew through the trees. She secured one of the ropes to her pack and set off.
As she crossed the Oconto Falls trail to Kiral, she noticed multiple signs of wildlife, a veritable of vegetation and pungent wildflowers. The trees were covered at the base with a hanging moss colored a day-glow light green. The shaggy giants drop year's worth of needles, giving a soft bounce cushion to the trail and provided adequate building materials and protection for varies animals. Rayven had learned a love of the forest and wildlife from her father. She remembered how he had taught her to listen to its secrets and to see its beauty. The sounds of a squirrel ran up a nearby tree as a bird carried food to its young. She studied the area as she hiked, letting the beauty of the woods speak to her. Birds darted in and out of the trees and a yip of a fox could be heard in the distance. As she stopped at the base of the Kiral she set her pack down and glanced up. She saw a climber high up on the rock face. The person was moving with an easy, fluid grace that left her open-mouthed with admiration and a touch of envy. As she watched the climber, Rayven could see why so many who loved the sport called rock climbing a vertical dance of poetry. It was amazing, graceful and beautiful when it was done correctly and this climber was one of the best she'd ever seen. The stranger reminded her of Jaxon.
Her mind flashed back to when she and Jaxon were preparing to take the rock-guide test. "Belay is on!" Rayven quickly took up the slack in the rope.
Jaxx started to down climb doing beautiful gymnastic moves, smiling as she forced her body into impossible positions. Rayven laughed, enjoying watching her lover have fun on the face. Jaxon was stretching hard and using different sets of muscles which rippled and moved in the sunlight. Having placed herself into a pretzel, she grinned at Rayven upside down. "You like?"
"You're crazy, but I still love you." She laughed.
"And I love you sweetheart." Jaxon said as she landed lightly beside her wife. They were climbing routes between 5.7's and 5.10's, as well as several pitches and gaps. "Your turn."
Rayven smiled and started up, moving effortlessly. At the top, she waited for Jaxon to put her on belay. The smaller blonde did not have the height - reach advantage like Jaxon, she compensated by being flexible and strong. With her left foot secured she climbed down with her right until she was in a hyper extended split.
"Oooh, ouch! Baby, you're making me hurt just watching you." Jaxx acted out.
Rayven laughed. Her right foot now solid on a small protrusion she bent over backward and put both hands on the ledge, and then stepped out in a walkover. Jaxx cheered and applauded. They were both laughing. It had been a glorious day, six months later, when they walked away holding their certificates from the Association of Oregon Mountain Guides in their hands. They were the two youngest women to receive their rock-guide certificate in the state of Oregon.
Not wanting to disturb the climbers ballet performance, Rayven walked back to her truck and headed to Conga, which was rated as a 5.5a. She knew that climbing alone wasn't the safest thing to do, even through every climber she knew did it. Climbing a more moderate face was probably for the best. She would take extra steps in protection. When she finished the sun rapidly approached the horizon. There was satisfaction like no other in climbing the rock face. The high ridge held stunning views in all directions. There were mature forests, untouched by human hands, rolling into luscious green meadows. There were golden mountains, wearing red shawls of huckleberry bushes in the distance. She felt tired and exhilarated all at once. It had felt good to climb again. She threw her pack and rope over her shoulder and headed down the trail to her vehicle. Rayven drove home wearing a huge grin that was usually reserved only for waffles.
<<<
The members of the Blue Mountain Firefighters, in their yellow Fire Fighter suits, hike hundreds of miles, dig fire lines, do mop-up until their backs are pushed to the point of breaking and live through days of pure hell and exhaustion. Some of them would be injured; possibly some will die. Yet they go on chasing the wildfires, loving the adrenaline rush, the addiction, and the excitement from a frightening, dangerous day.
Clearcut logging is a firefighter's most sworn enemy. The clearcut method, a product in the name of efficiency, is devoid of respect and thankfulness. The butchering and profiteering of clearcut logging leaves a grave yard of dead and dried branches. A dropped match, a lightening spark, into the dry brittle mess is a wildfire recipe waiting to happen. Ground crawlers, they called them. A slow moving fire one minute, the next an uncontrolled forest fire. Some firefighters called it the dragon killer, a monster rising up from the fiery depths of hell, laughing, taunting and feeding their fears - waiting for the firefighter's weakest moment to consume them. Overnight, lightning had bombarded the high country near Blue Mountain, starting two fires, with a combined total of over 22,000 acres. When the two fires met it caused an explosion which hurled smoke over 25,000 feet into the sky in the shape of a gray frightening mushroom cloud.
In the center of this hellish grave yard, Chief Segreto focused on blocking out the heat, the smoke and the danger. The fear. Sweat ran down her forehead and stung her eyes. Her t-shirt was soaked underneath her fire suit. Every inch of her was burning up, but she ignored the feeling as she raised her Dragon Hoe above her head and drove it into the burning underbrush.
She watched the bright yellow, red and orange flames flicker nearer, licking at her skin and wondered if she should lay down and allow the Dragon to claim another victim. The desire to close her eyes and let it all go was paramount. She was exhausted, so tired of living without Rayven, fighting everyday to keep going for Donny. She was a moment away from giving up, a moment away from death. Her throat seized up at the knowledge as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She closed her eyes and just before she murmured "I'm sorry", she heard an angelic voice whispering to the very depths of her soul. "You promised you would never leave me, Jaxon. Come back!"
She slowly opened her blood shot eyes and shook her head as if to clear it. "Donny and Rayven need me," she thought and told the devil she'd meet him in hell. Sometimes, the only way to escape a fire was to run through the flames. She unsnapped her fire suit and stripped her wet t-shirt off, re-snapped her suit and wrapped the t-shirt around her head, covering her hair, mouth and nose. Bending her head, she ran full force into the flames praying she'd make it to the other side to live another day.
A few minutes later, which felt like a lifetime, she was greeted with soft nervous laughter and smiles. The men and women's faces were marked with ash but open, reflecting the life style that had shaped each of them. She had battled the dragon killer and won - with the help of Rayven's angelic voice.
The medic rushed to her side and began treating her. Jaxon clenched her teeth against the pain she ached everywhere from pounding the earth with the Dragon Hoe, axes and shovels. She smelled of ash, her fingernails were black and scratches, scrapes and blisters marked her hands and face. Her hair was singed. She would have a hacking cough for days due to breathing the smoke she'd inhaled but she survived to live another day. She'd kept her promise to her one true love, Rayven.
Chapter Two
Rayven hated doctor's offices. She hated the paper gown, the chilly room and the table high enough that her legs dangled in space, making her feel like a child instead of a twenty-nine year old pregnant woman. She hated the cold instruments, the plastic gloves and the cold clear slimy gel. She hated spreading herself so some stranger could see her most intimate parts.
That thought brought another to her mind; the last time she was intimate with anyone was with Jaxon almost nine years ago. After October 9th, she didn't feel anything; she didn't want companionship or sex. She'd shut off her emotions and buried herself in her career.
Tired of sitting on the cold table, Rayven scooted off and moved to a small chair next to the door, careful to keep the paper gown tucked around her. Picking up a copy of American Homes that someone had left behind, she started thumbing through it. As she became absorbed in an article on remodeling your kitchen she began to see in her mind's eye the way she wanted the old yellow house to look.
She was good with her hands; Jaxon and she had built their first tree house together, then they built a clubhouse and finally they had remodeled their home together. "Damn. Why does everything center around Jaxon?"
"Excuse me!" A deep voice pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up and met a pair of light gray eyes.
"Oh sorry, I was reading about remodeling my kitchen." Rayven replied as she stood and walked back over to the tall table.
"How are you feeling, Mrs. McEllis?" Dr. Dalton asked as he flipped through her chart. "Your blood pressure looks much better."
Rayven gave the doctor a small smile. The doctor was an older gentleman with salt and pepper hair he had a fatherly nature about him, which pleased her. "I feel fine, a little tired."
"That is to be expected. Is this your first pregnancy?" Dr. Dalton laid down her chart on the counter as he moved to stand at the foot of the table, motioning her to slide down and put her feet into the stirrups.
"Yes." Rayven hated this next part but knew it was necessary for the health of her baby.
"Try to relax; this won't take but a minute."
It was at times like this that Rayven wondered why she wanted to be pregnant.
<<<
A few days later Jaxon sat on the edge of another fire camp watching an eerie red glow spread across the night sky. Smoke hung thickly in the night air. Sixteen hours of abusing her body in every conceivable way should have made certain that she could sleep, but she couldn't. With the fire now contained to a very small area, tomorrow Jaxon would begin the task of mop-up. Though tedious, mop-up was as necessary and vital as the initial attack on a fire. If all the embers were not extinguished, the fires could re-ignite. Even so, checking for the hidden embers was not only the least favorite part of the job, but it also played hell on her back and shoulders.
Taking a sip of campfire coffee, she wondered how Donald was doing. Had he found apples in that old orchard on the Sleepy Springs Ranch? The orchards held many memories, some good and some bad - like the day Rayven got hurt:
On the evening of their seventeenth birthday they took a walk up to the orchards since it was a private place. Jaxon laughed, remembering how she couldn't wait to have some private time with Rayven. She had wanted to kiss her all day, but they never could find time alone. With Rayven pressed up against the side of a small tree Jaxon began nibbling kisses down the side of her lover's neck while her hands found purchase on soft flesh under the smaller woman's blouse.
Driven by her own need, Rayven answered Jaxon's caress, her kisses, making her own passionate demands, so that Jaxon, too, was soon moaning for more.
Jaxon started to lift the smaller woman up so shorter legs could wrap around her waist; she wanted to feel Rayven's heat against her muscular stomach. The motion caused the blonde to push back against the tree. Unfortunately, the tree was quite dead. When she pushed back, she jarred the tree, which made the upper portion snap off and fall right on Rayven's head, knocking them both to the ground.
"Rayven," she screamed as she scrambled to get up. "Rayven, sweetheart, let me see," Jaxon pleaded. Her fingers shook as she tried to move the smaller woman's hand, which covered the injury. She felt sick as the blood gushed from under Rayven's fingers.
"I'm okay, but it hurts," she said quietly.
Rayven didn't look okay at all. "Let me take a look." Stomach heaving, Jaxon gently loosened Rayven's fingers from her bleeding cut. "It will be okay." She parted the golden blonde hair to get a better look. "Uh-oh," she whispered. "I think any plans we might have had for the rest of the night will have to be put on hold, honey."
The cut showed the white bone of her scalp, and Jaxon realized that Rayven would need stitches to close it. "We need to take you to the emergency room." She tried to sound reassuring.
"I'm sure I'll be fine, sweetheart." Rayven's voice sounded fainter. "I 'm just a little dizzy; let me rest here for a few minutes."
Tearing off part of her shirt, Jaxon pressed it against the wound. Blood was starting to drip down the side of Rayven's beautiful face, pooling into a puddle on the ground. "I can't take the chance of moving you. You may have other injuries. I'll run and get help. Keep pressure on the cut. It will help stop the bleeding."
"Okay," Rayven relaxed back against the hard pack earth.
"I love you, sweetheart. I'll be right back."
"Love you too."
The cut required thirty-two stitches. The good news was Rayven didn't have a concussion, but she did have one hell of a headache. After arriving home, Jaxon helped Rayven into bed. She tucked her in and sat down in the chair next to the bed, holding the small hand gently in her larger one. She was determined to watch over the woman she loved.
"You could crawl in here, too," she whispered, gently tugging on Jaxon's hand.
"Your parents?"
"Jaxon," Rayven's mother's voice came from the doorway.
Jaxon jerked and dropped Rayven's hand. Moving to stand, she was pushed back down by Mrs. McEllis warm hand on her shoulder.
"Mom, please let Jaxx stay."
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Mrs. McEllis took Rayven's hand then reached for Jaxon's. Gripping them gently, she looked at the young women. "We know, girls." She spoke softly.
Rayven and Jaxon glanced at each other afraid to speak or hope.
"When God brings two people together that share a love as deep and as beautiful as yours, who are we to say it isn't right?" Mrs. McEllis smiled softly. "When you are in our home you are free to be yourselves."
"Mom, are you sure?" Rayven couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her parents accepted her relationship with Jaxon. She glanced at Jaxon and saw tears in her eyes as well.
"Thank you, Mrs. McEllis. I love Rayven with everything I am. I always have and always will."
"I know, honey. You would have to be blind to not see it. However, the outside world, and that includes your parent's Jaxon, will not be so understanding; I fear for your safety and acceptance. Please be careful."
"We will. Thanks Mom. I love you and tell Daddy I love him to." Rayven gave her mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"We love you to, honey, now get some rest." Mrs. McEllis stood and left the room closing the door after her.
Jaxon looked up to see a bright smile on her lovers beautiful face.
"Come to bed, honey."
Jaxon stripped down to her underclothes and crawled into the bed, gently folding Rayven into her arms. "I love you. Now and forever," Jaxon whispered.
"Love you," Rayven mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.
Jaxon pulled the blonde closer and held her contentedly, but it was a long time before she fell asleep. She sighed and swallowed back tears. Her heart was so full of love for the small woman in her arms. She swore to herself to never hurt her.
But . . . but, she had. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she stood and went to her tent hoping that maybe she could sleep for a few hours.