The Old Yellow House
By Koda Graystone
kodagraystone@yahoo.com
Summary - Rayven a wildlife photographer and journalist returns to claim her ranch, while Jaxon Segreto, Chief of the elite firefighter team Blue Mountain Firefighters does some soul searching.
Disclaimer - This is an original work of fiction. The characters are mine. The story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. Some of the scenes/plot devices are actual events from my family history.
Some bad language, minor violence, a dead mouse and a nasty Aunt Lois who wants revenge.
Feedback - Any and all feedback, comments, and suggestions will be appreciated.
Started 2000 - finished August 2004 -- Story is complete.
I would like to thank those that have written asking how the revision was progressing. Sorry it has taken so long. The difference in this and what was previous posted I hope is a tighter story. I took many of your feedback suggestions and incorporated them into the new revision. I also took out some scenes and added a few new ones. I hope I also succeeded in tying up some lose ends and leaving an opening for a sequel if I chose to write one.
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Chapter Three
A few days later, Jaxon placed several calls to her closet friends. If her plan was to work she would need more manpower than herself and Donny.
Darlene Walters sat on the couch breastfeeding her youngest, while her partner Amelia O'Gieblyn idly played with their son's small foot. "It doesn't make sense. Something else is going on." Her down-to-earth tone calmed Jaxon, whose pacing was causing them to get seasick.
A short time after Jaxon hung up the phone, the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of the rest of her friends. Within moments all of her best friends sat around her living room, except Matt. He was lean and wiry, more than six feet tall with curly red hair; he was leaning against the wall. Jaxon told them as quickly as possible what had happened in the last few months. From the fire where she thought about taking her life, to Rayven's voice bringing her back, Jim Gilmore and his assault on her. How she had stepped down as Chief of Blue Mountain Firefighter's and Jaden's promotion. Seeing Rayven, after all these years, in the hospital room keeping watch over her son, and most importantly her desire to build a relationship with her soul mate once again.
Grabbing a six-pack of beer from the refrigerator and a Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi for Darlene, Matt took a seat across from Jaxon, who had finally been convinced to sit down. "What do you think Darlene?"
Darlene's big hazel eyes widened and Jaxon remembered how she used to give that dubious look to her team members. "It's simple, really. We have a mystery to solve."
"Mystery?" Hailey asked, shaking her blonde hair.
Darlene continued, "Why did Rayven come back? Where is her husband? If she has one, why did he not come with her? Is she running away from something or toward something? Is she planning on sell the ranch? Does she have any family here?"
"She has an Aunt Lois. But, she has always hated Rayven and I." Jaxx shook her head sadly, "she considered our life style perverted, plus she was upset when Sleepy Springs was left to Rayven and not her. She disowned Rayven years ago."
"Jeez." Amelia stood when Darlene drew back from nursing their son. Amelia gently picked the infant up to burp him. She eased Tommy against her shoulder. Rubbing his small back gently, she add a question of her own, "Why is Gilmore after you?"
"I'll run a check on Gilmore through the police computers, tomorrow." Deputy Emily McRoberts said as she took a sip of her beer and stretched her long legs out in front of her, while placing her arm around her partner Hailey Phillips. "If he has a record, I'll find it."
Jaxon buried her head in her hands. "I can't believe this. After all these years the only woman I've ever loved has come back to Silver Lake. I've got to have her in my life. I . . . can't live without my wife anymore."
"Jaxon, don't go emotional on us now," Hailey said gently. "You've got to keep a level head and we've got to think this through and come up with a plan of action."
"What do you want to do?" Matt asked.
Raising her head, Jaxon reached into her pocket and showed them the ad she'd cut from the newspaper. "I want to apply for this job and move Donny and me in with Rayven. That will give me time to show her that I've never stopped loving her. It will also allow me to be close to her when the baby comes. I can't and won't leave her up there all alone." Determination showed clearly in her blue eyes.
The always-levelheaded Jaden spoke up, "What if she has a husband?"
"I already told you, Jaden, once before," Jaxon was really getting tired of Jaden's question concerning Rayven's so called husband. "I won't break up her marriage but I don't feel she is married - unless Rayven has really changed in the past eight years. I have to be a part of her life. If friendship is all I can have than so be it, but I have to be a part of her life." 'Please, please don't be married' the thought kept repeating over in her mind.
Darlene had taken a seat at the kitchen table with a pad and pencil she'd grabbed from a nearby drawer. "Let's make a list of what has to be done."
Amelia bent to put a sleeping Tommy into his carrier. Then she stepped up behind her partner, laying her hands gently on Darlene's shoulders. "I'm assuming you want to let your apartment go, Jaxon?"
"You know, I always wondered why you didn't buy a house." Matt interrupted. "You were waiting for Rayven to come back home, weren't you?" he asked gently.
There was a brief silence. Then Jaxon looked up into her friend's eyes and softly said, "She's my life. There is no house to call home without her in it." Silent tears fell from her eyes.
Breaking the uneasy silence that followed Jaxon's answer, Jaden said, "Well let's change your life, my friend."
Jaxon smiled, thankful for the closeness of her friends and thankful that she opened up enough to share her thoughts and feelings with them. The next few hours were spent making calls and completing arrangements for moving Jaxx to the ranch.
<<<
At precisely 6:45 in the morning, a lone figure stood on the corner using the only pay phone in Silver Lake. "I understand you wanted to talk to me?"
"I might," the governor acknowledged.
"Might?"
"And might not. It depends."
"On what?"
"What you want. What I've got. Who are you? Who am I? Will you? Will I? Because nothing is as it seems," the governor rattled off the familiar script until he was sure the agents listening had gone back to their card game, assuming he was crazy and babbling again. Fools, they all were, so easy to fool.
"Where would you like to start?" Lois asked easily. She smiled at the use of the code words that meant nothing to the normal person but gave her an amazing amount of details.
"I always start at the end," the governor retorted tersely. "It's much easier to predict the future that way."
"And you foresee the future?"
"Of course I do."
"I see."
"No, you don't see. I do," the governor corrected her, slapping his hand loudly upon the hardwood desktop in his office. "If you did, you wouldn't ask me these stupid questions repeatedly."
Lois' eyes rolled while she waited to finish the silly but profitable game between them. It amused her that not once, in the last five years, had the governor ever been questioned about the same repeated script that was used every month. "In that case, what do I want and what can't I see?"
"Rich, masculine willow-bark tea."
"So it will be." Lois finished the conversation and hung up the phone.
<<<
Logic told Jaxon that her ex-lover probably wanted nothing to do with her. She hurt her badly once before but the ex-firefighter was determined to be a part of Rayven's life. Approaching the farmhouse, a week later, she spotted Rayven fixing the rickety wooden gate. She noticed a jar of sun tea steeping on the windowsill, and a pair of mud-caked boots sitting outside the front door to dry. Jaxon hoped her soul mate wasn't working too hard. As she gazed upon her wife she didn't think the journalist gained so much as a pound since they parted; the real change in the small body before her had come as a result of being pregnant. There was softness to the blonde, a slight rounding of her abdomen, the only sign of her being pregnant.
"Here," Jaxon said as she walked up beside her. "Let me help with that."
Jaxx stood there without moving, her work-hardened body and beautiful smile nearly tore Rayven loose from her surroundings and flung her back to a time when that body, that magnificent . . . sensual body, was hers to touch and caress. When she cared. When she felt. Rayven took a step away. "Thanks, but I can manage."
"Come on, Rayven." Jaxon reached for the hammer. "Please." Rayven lifted her chin in a stubborn gesture that the firefighter remembered all too well. She almost laughed aloud. Instead, she said, "You hold, I hammer." gesturing to the piece of pine wood in the small woman's other hand.
Willing herself to return Jaxx's gaze, she concentrated on her own breathing bringing it back under control. Jaxon meant nothing to her and hadn't for more than eight years. It shouldn't be so hard to remember that. Yeah, right. The blonde hesitated a moment longer, even while her expression began to soften somewhat, maybe at the use of the word please, and handed the taller woman the hammer.
"Thanks," Jaxon took the hammer. Rayven's fingers, warm and soft, touched hers, and her heart did a flip. Swallowing hard, she reached for the first board. They worked together quietly for a few minutes fixing the hinges and replacing a couple of broken boards. "There," she said, stepping back from the gate to see if it would swing shut on its own. "I believe we fixed it."
The journalist wasn't sure what to say next. She'd wished she wasn't so dirty and sweaty. Was her hair dirty? Had she brushed her teeth? Did her breath stink? More than that, she wished it didn't matter to her what she looked like. "Thanks," Rayven retrieved the hammer, the ghost of a smile nipping at the corners of her mouth. "So, what are you doing here and how is Donny?" Her wife was here facing her. Despite the years and distance between them, the reality of her, the power of her, the smell of her, wouldn't stop bombarding her. But she should be used to that, shouldn't she?
"Donny is fine. He said you called him."
"Actually he called me first since I didn't have your number." They could carry on a civilized conversation. It might take effort, but they would do it. "He's a sweet boy. He has a lot of you in him."
Jaxon blinked slowly, the movement hitting the blonde somewhere deep and unwanted. "He needs space," Jaxx responded, feeling her way past memories of their years together, buried years. "He'd rather be outside no matter what the weather. And he'd rather die than sit still. I fear he also has a bit of the wanderlust in him"
"And?" Even through she adored Donny it was hard to discuss him without thinking about Jaxx's betrayal.
"I thought I would come and see how you're doing."
"I'm fine." Laying the hammer down on the front steps, Rayven sat down.
"Have you decided what your plans are?"
When Jaxx rubbed her neck, she invited the fire fighter inside. "Yes. I've decided to stay, at least for a while. Come inside and I'll fix some tea. It should be ready by now," she said as she wiped the perspiration from her forehead, then stood and turned before walking into the house.
Jaxon stepped inside and followed her through the entryway and into the kitchen. "Rayven," she asked, "Donny said you were here by yourself."
"That's right," she replied, without breaking stride. Jaxx was breathing in that easy way of hers, a cadence that changed only when they were making love. Had. . . had made love. Had. Fighting free of thoughts she'd spent the past eight years exorcising, she motioned for the taller woman to sit down. She experienced a flash of resentment, and pain. "Have a seat, Jaxon." Rayven knew her words sounded stiff as she walked into the kitchen. A short time later she came back carrying two frosted glasses of iced tea.
Jaxon caught the slight tightening of Rayven's features. Even after all these years she could still remember her look of pleasure, smell her scent and feel her soft moist skin beneath her fingertips and tongue, the silky blonde hair that the fire fighter loved to bury her face in and run her fingers through. "Where's the baby's father?"
The journalist opened her mouth but slowly closed it without saying a word. The mouth she'd once claimed for herself looked tight. Small hands lay on Rayven's thighs, the tips pressing into the flesh beneath her jeans. Jaxx might not know her wife's thoughts but she could still read the smaller woman's body language. She was under control, barely.
Rayven stopped and looked at her blue-eyed friend, her brow furrowed in an expression of total disbelief. "Do you really think that you, of all people, have the right to ask me that?"
Yes. No. Yes. No. She had no rights at all where Rayven was concerned. Yet it didn't stop her from believing she did or from dreaming and thinking about the smaller woman, of wanting to know what she'd done with her life or who she'd become. She's my wife, damit. I should have rights but I gave those rights away when I had sex with Tom. Sighing heavily, Jaxon resigned herself to No; she didn't have any rights, yet. "You're right, I guess I don't," she finally whispered. "It's none of my business."
Unexpectedly the journalist heart went out to the firefighter. For several moments Rayven remained silent, not sure what to think or say. Then she gave in, "Jaxon you don't have to worry about me." Her voice had lost its angry edge, and Jaxx turned to look at her, with sad but hopeful eyes. It was almost her undoing.
Jaxon also felt the pull of the smaller woman, of the shiny green eyes that held so much mystery and the soft full lips she could still feel, as they moved over her body, if she closed her eyes she could remember their sweet taste. Her body jerked as she remembered tasting herself on those soft lips. No, she didn't have any rights. However, she'd learned how to listen and more times than not, that ability made it possible for her to hear things left unsaid, like the tension and doubt, even fear in Rayven's voice, like the need for them to be together after all these years. "Rayven," she took a step towards the blonde, but stopped short of touching her, "can we talk?"
Silence.
Jaxon closed the distance between them. "I need to talk to you, please."
"Jaxon" Rayven whimpered. "Don't."
"Please, Rayven." She reached out and brushed a smudge of dirt from the beautiful woman's cheek, marveling at the feel of warm skin against her fingertips. It was as soft and smooth as she remembered. "I simply want to talk."
Rayven took a step back, away from the outstretched hand. "All right," she said without enthusiasm, and ran one hand idly through the blonde mass of hair that now fell loosely around her face. 'Oh, Gods, this is harder than I thought it would be'
The familiar gesture caused Jaxon's heart to tremble. Rayven had always done that when she was nervous and hiding something. I wonder what your hiding, sweetheart? Jaxon needed to apologize to Rayven for hurting her eight years ago and she wanted to be friends again, to laugh and remember old times as well as have the chance to build a future with her. To be forgiven for hurting her, instead she said. "I'm sorry about your mom."
Rayven acknowledged her condolences with a nod and a whispered, "Thank you." After a pause she continued, "So what are you doing here, Jaxon?"
"I came here because I want to help," she said with a smile. "This is a big ranch, and I know it can't be easy trying to run it alone."
"I'll be fine."
From the dark haired woman's shirt pocket she withdrew a piece of wrinkled paper. "Not according to this." It was the ad Rayven had placed in the newspaper.
"So?"
"So I'm applying for the job."
Jaxon answer had been so matter-of-fact that for several seconds, Rayven hadn't registered the seriousness of what the firefighter had said. "Thank you for the offer, but I need someone full-time and you already have a job."
"I quit."
"You quit?" Rayven couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You quit being chief of the Blue Mountain Firefighters? A position you dreamed of all your life? Why?"
"My goals in life have changed."
"I'm sorry Jaxon, but I can not accept your offer. I assure you I'll be fine."
"I'm offering you one summer or until your hus . . . husband arrives." Jaxon stumbled over the word husband.
Refuse her offer, her common sense demanded. Rayven knew she shouldn't accept yet she also didn't want to be on the ranch alone when the baby was born. She was scared and she knew it. There was a part of her that wanted to forgive and forget the past and start new, and a part of her that didn't. It was safer that way, but also, extremely lonely. If she were to forgive, Jaxon, where did it go from there? Could there ever be more? Did Jaxon just want to be friends? The answers weren't coming, but one thing she did know the answer to and that was she didn't want to have the baby alone. "Okay, Jaxon, you win. You've got the job."
When the ex-firefighter rose and crossed to her and gently took her hands, the look in the sky blue eyes almost made Rayven believe they could make it work between them. If Jaxon did still care, maybe there was a chance.
She wanted to hug Rayven, but instead, she merely said, "Thank you. Donny and I will move our things over tomorrow and get set up." She squeezed the small hands gently.
The simple gesture rocked Rayven. It felt too much like old times, when their every move was in perfect harmony. With all the strength she could muster she said," tomorrow?"
"Of course. The ad did say room and board. You can show us our rooms tomorrow. I better get started packing. We'll be seeing you tomorrow, hon." Then she left quickly, before Rayven could respond, leaving the room unbearably empty.
"Oh Gods, what did I just agree to?" Rayven asked unbelievably. "My intelligence shrinks as I expand." she said, patting her swollen stomach gently. "Great, just great." Shaking her head disgusted with herself, she walked through the house to the back yard to begin working on her garden.
< < <
The next morning, four pickup trucks and two trailers loaded with stuff came down the long drive. The first one contained Jaxon and Donny; the others Rayven didn't recognize.
They stopped in front of the house and Donny jumped out, coming up to give her a hug. "We get to live here with you," he said excitedly.
"That's right, honey, you sure do." She ruffled his hair and gave him a one-arm hug in return. Never taking her eyes off of Jaxon until the woman from the second vehicle opened the door and got out. She was tall, if not taller than the fire fighter. It hit her suddenly and with stunning force, she felt jealousy build inside her as she watched the interaction between Jaxx and the red head. What the hell was wrong with her? She had no claim on her ex-lover so why was she having these feelings? Damn, you don't ever learn?
"Rayven, I like you to meet Deputy Emily McRoberts. Emily, this is Rayven McEllis, my new boss."
She jerked, startled from her thoughts. Emily stood there, looking beautiful and sophisticated, a warm smile on her face. "Hi, it's nice to meet you," she said, shaking Rayven's hand.
"Welcome to my home, Emily."
"And I'd like you to meet Jaden Brooks, the new Chief of Blue Mountain Firefighters, his partner Matt Adams, Darlene Walters and her partner Amelia O'Gieblyn, owners of Herbs America."
"Hi, it's nice to meet all of you."
Jaxon broke the uneasiness by saying, "Emily, let's get your truck unloaded first so you can be on your way. I know you don't want to miss your appointment."
"You got it, beautiful," she responded as she walked to her pickup and let the tailgate down.
"Jaxon?"
"Not to worry, Rayven. Everything is taken care of." she said over her shoulder as she went to help Emily and the others.
<<<
"You said she was beautiful, but you never said she was a goddess. She's gorgeous," Emily stated as they spoke quietly at the back of the truck.
"She's more beautiful today than when we were kids. I can't lose her again, Emily. I'd die."
"You know Hailey and I are here for you, we hope you and Rayven get back together. Maybe a little jealously won't hurt," she said smiling.
Laughing softly, Jaxon said, "Maybe, but not too much. If Rayven is anything like she used to be, she can be one evil green eyed monster."
"Okay, just a little. Let's go. I think I see the monster rising from the depth of those beautiful green eyes."
Glancing at the ranch owner it was clear from where they stood that indeed the sparks were building in Rayven's eyes. "I think you're right." I know you still care for me, sweetheart. If you give me a chance I won't let you down, again.
"Rayven?" Jaden spoke while holding two boxes. "Where do I put Donny's stuff?"
"And where do we put Jaxon's stuff?" asked Matt who was walking up behind Jaden.
It was obvious Rayven was quite out of her element and having a hard time making sense of all that was going on. One minute, she was living alone awaiting the birth of her child, the next her home was full of strange people and her ex-lover and son were moving in with her. Shaking her head several times, she took a moment to compose herself. When she felt her world begin to settle, she took control. "Jaxon?" she called out.
"Yes, boss?" the deep voice rumbled next to her ear as a long arm slid across her shoulders. "What's up?" Jaxon smiled slightly as she felt Rayven lean towards her. Yes! She could have shouted. I knew she still felt something.
"Umm, you need to let your friends know where to put your things." Jaxx is so warm and solid, secure and unmovable. I wish I could stay like this forever, tucked in the protection of her arms. She wouldn't . . . couldn't . . . let down her guard with Jaxon. No matter how appealing the idea . . . or the woman . . . happened to be.
Jaxon knew that Rayven's bedroom was on the first floor. "Are you staying in your old room?"
"Yes."
"Donny?" Jaxon yelled getting her son's attention. "There are two bedrooms left on the bottom floor, pick one and take Jaden with you."
"Okay!" came the excited response.
"I'll take the other one." she said as she squeezed Rayven's shoulder gently then removed her hand and went back to unpacking the vehicles.
As Jaden walked into the yellow farmhouse his senses were flooded with the aromas of cinnamon, apples and baking bread. "What is that awesome smell?" he called out, stopping quickly which caused Matt to run into the back of him.
"Cinnamon buns and homemade apple pies." Rayven blushed slightly. "I had the urge to cook this morning." Cooking had always been a favorite pastime of hers and when she was stressed or upset it was a way for her to work off excess energies.
Jaxon came up to stand beside her wife. "It smells fantastic, mouth watering even."
Donny came running down the hall turning the corner so fast he skidded into Max. "When are they coming out of the oven? I'm starving."
"But, you just had breakfast," stated Jaxon.
"Mom, McDonalds isn't homemade apple pie." He wined.
Jaden replied, "Later. After we've eaten some real food maybe your Mom will let you have some."
"Cool." Donny said as he began to tug on Jaden's hand. "Let's hurry so we can eat some real food."
The timer went off and Rayven opened the oven, releasing a powerful wave of fresh-baked-bread-and-cinnamon scent. Jaxon shut her eyes and moaned in ecstasy.
Emily laughed and bumped Jaxx with her shoulder. "Come on tuff stuff; let's get this done so you can pig out."
Winking at Rayven, the firefighter replied, "Do you know how long it's been since I've had home cooking?" Before anyone could respond she added, "Years." Jaxon loved the blush covering Rayven's beautiful face.
"You never learned how to cook?" asked Rayven.
"Mom can burn water." yelled Donny, as laughter came from his room.
"Now I'm offended," pouted Jaxx as she turned and left the room.
Rayven shook her head and went back to buttering the rolls and setting out the pies to cool.
<<<<
The morning passed quickly. People trampled in and out of her home until finally the last item was put in its place. She was glad that Jaxx had such a wonderful support system. Jaden and Matt included Donny in everything they did, never making him feel like a "kid", but more like one of the guys. They were great role models for the boy.
As lunch time rolled around, the guys offered to grill up hamburgers and hotdogs that Jaxon brought - which was good because Rayven was concerned how she would feed them as she didn't keep much food in the house. In moments the whole gang was crowded around the picnic tables under the maple tree in the back yard, piling their plates full of food.
Emily, she found, had been born at Silver Lake but left shortly thereafter as her father was transferred. She'd always wanted to come back and see what the area was like. When her Uncle, who was retiring, offered her the job of Deputy, she jumped at the chance. Not long after moving back she stopped Hailey Phillips for reckless driving and speeding. They had been together ever since. In an odd sort of way, Rayven was thrilled that Emily was attached. Jealousy wasn't a nice feeling - especially when she had no right to be.
Darlene and Amelia owned Herbs American, a multi-million dollar business that they started in a small green house in their back yard. Rayven and Amelia spent quite some time talking about different herbs and their healing properties as well as their culinary uses. Rayven related a story to them about a patch of ground her mother used to get her herbs from. She suggested they come back at a later date and she would take them to see it.
After everyone had eaten all the buns and apple pies, the friends said their goodbyes patting their full stomachs and stating it was past time for a nap. Jaxon walked them to their vehicles while Rayven helped Donny with cleanup.
As the six walked to the parked vehicles, Amelia turned towards Jaxon. "I can see why you're still in love with Rayven, she is the most natural and honest person I've ever meet."
"Absolutely beautiful," chimed in another.
"A tender spirit."
"Intelligent and witty."
"Stunning."
"Yes and Yes . . . Yes." Jaxon laughed. She couldn't be happier - her friends liked Rayven.
"Seriously," Jaden added. "It's clear that Rayven has feelings for you, but there is also a great amount of pain in her eyes, Jaxx. I believe there will be a happy ending but it's going to take time and patience."
As Emily reached for the door handle to her pickup she added. "If my instincts are right, Rayven isn't married. For some reason she avoided my questions about her husband joining her."
They each gave Jaxx a hug and wished her well, leaving a very thoughtful ex-firefighter in the dust created by the vehicles.
<<<
Jaxon and Donny were arranging their rooms and getting the last of their items settled. Rayven wandered around feeling helpless and depressed. She should have felt elated, because Jaxx was back in her life, but she didn't. She was consumed with doubt.
She felt like she was losing control of her life. Jaxon had always been the one to make the final decisions. She took over and made things happen. Sometimes she bullied people, other times she gave them her 'evil' stare; either way, Jaxon Segreto didn't know the meaning of the word compromise.
"Rayven?" The ex-firefighter questioned as she came around the side of the house and saw the blonde leaning against the weeping willow tree in the back yard. "Is something wrong?"
"Is something wrong?" she laughed softly.
"I noticed you left and wondered if you were feeling okay." Don't bail out now, my love. Please give us a chance.
"I was wrong. I've changed my mind. This won't work, Jaxon," she said.
"Rayven, please," she murmured. "At least give it a chance."
"I'm sorry your friends went to a lot of effort to move you, but I..."
"You're afraid to be alone with me," she said flatly.
Rayven shoved off from the tree and glared at her. "I'm not afraid of anything." It was a lie and she sensed her ex-lover knew it. She'd been running from her emotions for eight long years.
"You would rather have a stranger live in the house with you than me?" Jaxon asked quietly.
"Yes. No. I had the bunkhouse redone. He or she would have stayed there."
"I won't hurt you, Rayven. I promise." She moved around the edge of the picnic table to stand closer to the woman she loved. "We can't change the past, Rayven. I wish I could, but it is done and all we can do is move forward. Please move forward with me."
Rayven tucked a length of blonde hair behind her ear and looked away as she flinched. "I don't know you anymore, Jaxon. Don't you understand you are like a stranger to me?"
"I can't leave you here alone, Rayven, please don't ask that of me. Whatever anger, doubt or confusion you may feel towards me please let me do this one thing for you. Just for the summer. Please, baby. If you want, Donny and I will move into the bunk house." If begging would allow her to stay than she would beg. Rayven was far more important than her pride. Hell, she'd do battle with the devil before she'd let this opportunity go.
"No, I won't have that sweet boy living in a bunk house."
"Than give us the summer, it's your call. You make the decision." Jaxon held her breath waiting for the answer.
Why did life have to be so hard? Rayven thought. She didn't realize she was crying until she felt the heat of her tears against her skin and the brush of Jaxon's gentle fingers across her cheek.
Rayven closed her eyes, releasing the last of her tears. "Jaxon," she whispered shakily, "what do you want from me?"
"A chance to help you," she answered. A chance to prove to you I will always love you.
"Why?"
"You want the truth?"
"Yes. I need the truth."
Jaxon drew her finger along the blonde's throat, down to the silken curve of her slightly swollen breast in a slow, tantalizing motion, watching the involuntary reaction of Rayven's body to the sensual caress. Then she cupped her wife's chin and lifted her gaze to look into the taller woman's eyes. For a moment, the world stood still and everything else faded away around them.
The ex-chief lowered her head, brushing Rayven's soft lips with her own. The journalist's heart stirred, searching for an ember of the love that had once consumed her. Then the panic seized her and she nearly fought. But Jaxon shifted her large hands to cradle her face and she lost all desire to run. The warmth and love in the open blue eyes held hers, calmed her and rendered her beyond thought. Then they were kissing again. Only this time she was pulled closer, sliding small hands down a long muscular back as Jaxx coaxed her lips open.
Jaxon stroked her tongue in her mouth taking the kiss deeper with each thrust, pulling her tight as Rayven melted into the taller woman's embrace. The familiarity of the embrace nearly overwhelmed her. The strength in the long arms, the width of the shoulders she loved to run her hands across and the breasts that were pressed above her own told her it was no longer a young woman that held her, but a mature woman. It seemed an eternity before she was released.
"Because," Jaxon whispered breathlessly, "because I love you and always will."
The answer brought Rayven back to her senses and she pulled away. "That shouldn't have happened, Jaxon," she said.
"I'm not going to apologize for showing you how I feel, Rayven. I love you and I always have. Good night, sweetheart." Jaxon replied. Turning, she walked toward the house, disappearing into the darkness of the night.
<<<
A week later, Jaxx was sipping her coffee as she watched Rayven make breakfast. She needed to do something to help break the tension in the air. Then a smile came to her face; she knew just the thing. "Rayven?"
"Yes?" she replied without turning around.
"I have to go up to Cutter's Meadow this morning to check on a sighting of a momma bear and her cubs. What do you think about me putting together a picnic lunch and you and Donny come with me?"
"You mean I make the lunch and you and Donny load the truck." Rayven turned around, her eyes sparkling with excited.
"Right." Jaxx laughed. "I can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
"How about left over chicken and potato salad from last night?"
"Great. Maybe we'll get lucky and see them up close. You could bring your cameras. In some areas Black bears are an endangered species. It might make for a good story."
"I would really like that." Rayven's green eyes twinkled with anticipation. "As long as I can make it up to the ridge, I would love to go. I'd like to take some pictures. I haven't written anything in a while. I think I may be getting rusty."
"I'll help you and we'll take it slow. I'd really like for you to come with us." Jaxx looked at her wife with honesty and sincerity.
"Let's do it." Rayven smiled and turned to start making their lunch.
Once they were in the area, the ex-Chief turned on the radio-tracking equipment. The big sow wore a collar that gave off a signal she could track. Pulling off onto a rough logging road, Jaxx pointed up the hill. "The information I received said she was spotted on that ridge. She was digging roots and eating berries."
"After not eating all winter, I'd be hungry too."
Jaxx laughed. "Cobie Markham, who's with the Fish and Wildlife, usually checks on the sightings but he broke his leg a couple of weeks ago. So when he called last night I agreed to check it out for him. I'm glad you decided to come, Rayven."
"Me to." added Donny.
Jaxon shoved the truck into gear, and they rattled up the barely visible road. She was careful of potholes and bumps. She didn't want Rayven jarred around too much. An hour later, the three were moving slowly toward a mountain meadow when Jaxon pointed. "There they are!"
"Where?"
"There. See? Just inside the tree line."
Rayven made out a dark brown shape inside the woods, far down the slope. As they watched, the sow moved swimming through the bushes skillfully picking each clean of berries with a single swoop of her paw, followed by her two cubs. Rayven unpacked her camera. Jaxx could hear the shutter click as the journalist took pictures. The old sow paused and started digging up the ground, throwing earth behind her. A big paw full of dirt hit the largest cub full in the face. It sneezed, shook itself and bounced over to tackle the other cub. The two rolled on the ground like puppies.
"Jaxx, these bears are brown. Why did you call it a black bear?" asked Rayven as she continued to take their picture.
"The name is misleading, as they may be black, brown, cinnamon, or even blonde in color. In this area they are browner in color, but on the Deschutes National Forest they are black and cinnamon in color near Caldera. At Cultus Lake and Elk Lake there have been reports of blonde bears.
Donny was spellbound. "Mom, this is great."
"It's not often you're going to see something like that." Both women were talking very softly, while Donny watched transfixed. Jaxx had made sure they approached the meadow from downwind. The bears had not sensed their presence. She also brought along a dart rifle and a vial of tranquilizer called Telazol, the preferred anesthetic agent for large non-domestic wild animals, including black bears. Typically, 2 - 3 cubic centimeters of the drug would sedate a bear within 5-15 minutes. Jaxon wasn't taking any chances with the lives of the people she loved.
"It's sad what's happening to the bears." Jaxx began. "The demand for medicinal and aphrodisiacal value has caused the increase of illegal killing of the black bears. Poachers kill the bears just to get their gallbladders; jaws and paws, and then leave the rest to rot. With the right contacts, they're worth more on the international market than heroin."
"More than heroin? That's crazy." Rayven replied disgustedly.
"Pound for pound, yes. In some foreign countries a dried gall bladder will go for $50,000 or more. Cobie says it's becoming a big problem. There are almost no more bears left in some of the foreign countries so the poachers come to the United States."
"That is so sad." Rayven signed.
"The really ironic thing is that since 1996 well over a thousand black bears have been killed by USDA Wildlife Services here in Oregon. The bears are captured primary with leg-snares. Once found, sometimes 48 hours later, the bears are shot with a rifle along with their cubs if there are any. The Wildlife Services has never made an attempt to relocate these bears. This decision was made due to the black bears being hungry and eating the bark of young trees. The bears are being forced out of their natural habitat only to find death in the end."
Rayven looked at the magnificent animals at the far end of the meadow. She thought about her plans for the ranch and decided it was time to share her dreams with Jaxx. With the ex-firefighter's connections maybe they could help the bears.
"I've been thinking about the future of the ranch, Jaxon, and what I want to do with it. I believe I might have an answer to help some of the bears."
Jaxx turned to look at Rayven, interest showing in her eyes. "Please, tell me."
Rayven went on to tell Jaxx the details of her dreams and how she could offer a section of the ranch for the bears. It would be a large enough section that the bears wouldn't feel closed in like at a zoo, but would be safer from poachers and the Wildlife Services. She went on to tell about the dude ranch and the climbing school.
Jaxx was excited and extremely interested, adding information and encouraging Rayven to follow her dreams. Rayven was glad she had shared her dreams with her "friend".
"She got one!" Donny said suddenly. The women looked to see the big sow gulping something.
"What did she get, son?"
"Didn't you see her jump at that ground squirrel when it ran?" Donny laughed with excitement.
Down in the meadow, the sow was sitting in the hole she had dug. Propped like a person in an old lawn chair, as she nursed her two cubs. Minutes ticked by, and nothing else happened. A short time later, Rayven asked for Jaxx hand to help her up. She stood and stretched, stiff from sitting so long on the hard ground.
"Do you want to find a safer place to have our picnic? The bears will sleep through the middle of the day, but I'd rather not take any chances."
"Let's go to Oconto Falls and have lunch and let Donny play in the water."
"That's a great idea. I brought my climbing gear. Maybe I'll climb the Kiral - that is, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind. I'd love to watch you climb. I went up there after I first arrived to climb a little but there was another climber on the face." Looking thoughtfully, Rayven turned and looked at Jaxx. "That was you?"
"Well, if it was the end of April, yeah it could have been me." Jaxx engulfed the journalist's hand with her own to help her walk across the rocky path. "I had just got back from rescuing a lost little girl and I needed to wear off some excess energy."
"Did the rescue go bad?" she asked so she wouldn't think about the shaft of lightening that had hit her body with Jaxx's simple touch - the heat and power in those long, strong, fingers which were softly curled around her own, fingers that used to caress her body, bringing it to a feverish pitch causing her to scream her wife's name.
"The little girl was a diabetic," she replied. "It was close."
No words were necessary as they continued down the path to the vehicle that would take them to the falls.
<<<<
From a pay phone on the corner of Main Street, Aunt Lois spoke softly. "I have what you want." Lois always made her contact calls in broad day light in front of anyone who wanted to see or hear her. She felt a thrill doing something illegal under their noses. She smirked as she heard the call connect and the phone answered.
The contact voice hesitated. "What do I want?"
"You are a hunter," she announced. "That doesn't hunt the typical prey." As the silence continued on the other end, Lois added. "You haven't had much luck hunting lately."
"Luck can always be improved," the stranger acknowledged.
"This means you need me."
"Maybe."
"Guaranteed to bring successful hunting." the woman promised.
"I suppose that could be useful," the stranger allowed. "Just what, exactly, are we talking about here? Is the prey healthy and a challenge? How can I trust you?"
Breathing deeply Aunt Lois explained. "A mutual friend, the governor, suggested you would like to join him in a "human" hunt next month. Are you interested?"
Hearing a gasp of pleasure on the other end of the connection, Lois knew she was $150,000 dollars richer. Not bad for a few hours work.
"Yes, I'm very interested."
<<<
"I'd like to use the pyramid workout method, go up an easier climb of 5.08 three or four times, then do one slightly harder a few more times, and so on. I wanted to do this workout the last time I was here but it's too dangerous without someone to belay me."
"I'm glad you didn't." A picture of Jaxon laying hurt and alone flashed through her mind. "I'll belay you."
"Mom, I want to show Rayven how I can climb," stated the small boy.
"You've taught him how to climb already?"
Looking sheepish, Jaxx's only response was a smile as she moved to reach the first handholds.
Rayven had to take in rope as fast as she could to keep up with Jaxon on the first pitch. The ex-firefighter was speed climbing, making huge, precise dynamic lunges on the big holds.
"Quickly!" Jaxx called as Rayven started to lower the taller woman. The journalist let the rope run free, only slowing when her wife's feet were directly above the ground.
"Great! Thanks! Climbing," Jaxon started up again. By the fifth time, she was panting hard, but her moves stayed precise and graceful. She moved sideways such that the rope ended up over on a 5.14 climb. After going twice up that one, she landed beside the blonde. Her hair was dripping with sweat; damp bangs clung to her forehead.
"Anything harder?" Jaxon leaned down to stretch her legs.
"You know there isn't, you big goof."
Jaxx grinned at the smaller woman. "Climbing?"
"Climb on."
Rayven watched with amazed admiration as Jaxx moved; the way her muscles bulged under the now wet tee shirt, the swell of her muscular arms, the thighs that flexed against the tight blue jeans cutoffs. How those long chalk covered fingers griped tightly to the smallest rock holds. Memories of how Jaxx's long lean body moved in a sensual dance over her own and how the long, lean muscular back arched when her wife reached her climax flooded her. Her thoughts were disrupted by Jaxon leaning against a rock in front of her panting, watching her with the slightest of knowing smiles on her flushed face.
"That was fantastic! I wanted this type of workout for sometime. I'm glad you were here to share it with me." Taking a deep breath she asked, "Are you sure you want to climb, Rayven?" a hint of trepidation in her voice.
"I'm sure. The doctor said it was okay until next month. I'll get too big by then and with you here I know I'll be safe. Let's do a 5.0 to a 5.02. My climb won't be nearly as strenuous as yours but I also need a workout."
"Give me a minute and I'll put you on belay." Jaxon didn't like the fact Rayven wanted to climb being almost five months pregnant but she also realized she needed to be supportive of her wife's decisions. The doctor may have said it was alright but Jaxx was determined to make sure the small woman was safe. "When you're done I'll let Donny give it a go."
Rayven nodded and concentrated on stretching out in the few minutes she had. She knew that this would be her last climb, but it was important for her to do this with Jaxx. This one time. Watching Jaxon move seemed to have rubbed off a bit because she positively flew up the first pitch. The fire fighter brought her down so fast it was basically a long free fall. She whooped with exhilaration and started back up again. It wasn't anything like she was used to but she thought she realized her body limitations and in no way wanted to endanger her child. By the third climb she was slowing down, considerably.
Jaxon's concern was evident as she brought the shorter woman to the ground the last time. "Excellent!" Rayven's smile made the blue eyes come alive. The journalist spun to return a high five, and her legs buckled, the muscles exhausted from the climb. Jaxx caught her; the blonde found herself securely tucked against a soft breast, held firmly in her companion's arms. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"
"Sorry, my legs gave out."
"Donny," yelled Jaxx, "bring the canteen, quickly."
Gently sitting Rayven down on a nearby grassy patch, she took off the smaller woman's helmet, gloves and harness. As Donny came running up with the canteen, she loosened the cap and handed it to the shaken woman.
"Mom, is Rayven going to be okay?"
"I'm fine. That was a great workout. Thanks." Rayven's gaze went to Jaxon.
Jaxon frowned and bent down; sliding the climbing shoes off the small feet in front of her and then began to pack up the equipment.
Rayven noticed Jaxx's change of moods and wondered if the ex-firefighter was upset. She received her answer when Jaxon told Donny to start packing up their things - they were heading home. When Donny said he hadn't got to climb yet, the answer was not today.
"That's not fair," murmured Donny, as he turned to take the first load to the truck.
Rayven reached out her hand and touched Jaxon's forearm, feeling the tremors under the skin. She's afraid for me, thought the blonde. Looking closer she noticed her friend's body visibly shaking. I did this to her. I scared her. Why do I always have to think of myself?
"I'm sorry."
Silence.
"I probably shouldn't have pushed myself so hard. It's difficult sometimes to know my limitations since I'm pregnant. Before, I could go for a long time, like you did. This is new to me, Jaxx."
"You could have gotten hurt," whispered the solemn woman.
"Jaxon, look at me."
The dark head raised slowly, the look of fear, anger and something else lurked in the sad blue eyes.
"I'm alright. See. My breathing is back to normal. I just over did it a little. I won't climb again until after the baby is born. I promise. Beside, I knew you would keep me safe."
"I will always keep you safe," came the response.
"Forgive me?"
"You sure you're okay and you promise to see the doctor tomorrow?"
Sighing, but pleased, Rayven could do no more than agree; she had scared herself also. "Let the boy climb, please. He really was looking forward to it. I'll sit here and watch. I won't even get up to help."
"You sure?"
"Positive. If you could bring me some fruit or crackers I'll sit her and eat while I watch you both."
Finally the smile that had stolen her heart so many years ago crossed the magnificent woman's features. "Okay."
It was almost five by the time they pulled into Silver Lake. After the long day of watching the bears and then climbing, Rayven felt like she could eat a horse. Mentally she was going through what there was to eat in the house when Jaxon said, "Have you tried the new pizza place out yet? I'm starved. How about we stop there?
Rayven's mouth watered at the thought of pizza, but she shook her head. "I can't, Jaxx. I didn't bring any money with me."
"Mom will pay." Donny added. "Please, I love pizza and they have these cool video games to play."
"That's right. I'll treat. Come on. You must be as hungry as I am. I don't want you to have to cook for us after the day we've had. Think of it as a thank-you for helping me with such a great workout this afternoon."
Rayven wavered. She could almost smell the pizza. "Okay." She smiled. "Thanks. I am starved."
"Great! We'll go just as soon as you get checked out by the doc whose office, I noticed, is still open.
Rayven groaned but complied.
When they left the doctor's office Rayven held within her a secret that she cherished.
As they ate pizza, Jaxx brought up Donny's birthday and asked what he wanted to do this year.
"I'd really like to go floating down the river, Mom." Donny grinned. "I could ask a bunch of my friends to go and maybe Rayven could go with us."
Jaxon wiped her napkin across her mouth. "Rayven, do you think you'd feel up to going? The section of river I plan on taking them is really calm. Not too heavy on the rapids and the water isn't too rough; it's called the Loop Back. There are several sections that will be bumpy and you may get some spray. Nothing like we've done in the past."
Reaching into her bag she brought from the truck, she brought out her cell phone, "I'll call and ask the doctor if he feel's it would be all right."
While Rayven spoke on the phone for a few minutes, Jaxx and Donny planned who he wanted to go with them. His total so far was eight boys, including him self. He also wanted Jaden and Matt to go.
As she ended the call and placed the phone back in her bag she turned to them with a smile. "Dr. Dalton said that as long as the water wasn't too rough and had no heavy rapids I should be fine. I need to watch about being in the sun too long and a few other things, but yes, if you want me to go Donny. I'll go."
"Yeah, it's going to be great, Mom. Can we go home now so I can call my friends?"
"If it can be arranged soon it would be better. By next month I'm not sure I'll be able to go." A hint of sadness and awe filled her voice. She was so excited about having twins, but at the same time knew it was going to be more difficult. Soon she wouldn't be as active and she would miss that part. Also, what was she to do if Jaxon left and she was all alone on the ranch when the babies came?
"How does next weekend sound? That will give Donny time to get a hold of his friends and I need to see if Jaden and Matt can go with us."
A few minutes later they were in the truck heading back to Sleepy Springs Ranch.
<<<
As Jaden watched, Gilmore packed up his belongings and left the camp. He had no hard feelings over firing him. His instincts told him it wouldn't be the last they saw of him either.