Tempus Fugit
By Mavis Applewater
For disclaimers see part one.
A special thanks goes out to my beta reader Mary.
As always this is for Heather.
Part Five 1960
This was the year that four black college students sat at a lunch counter in Woolworths in Greensboro. They were refused service but allowed to stay seated at the counter. A small yet inspirational victory. I experienced my own mini protest that year. Mine paled in comparison to that of those four brave souls still I had my own minor victory. For me it was when I stood up to my parents for the first time. Also it was the first time we crossed the line and actually talked about my love life. It started innocently enough. I had been dating Carrie for awhile and it only seemed right that she meet my family. I knew they loved Ginny like one of their own and even though they'd never say the words they were hoping that Ginny and I would work things out after she was released.
I didn't have the heart to tell them it was Ginny who had ended things between us. I was still friends with her and I guess I part of me was hoping that maybe after she got out we could start again. It was hard for me to deal with. Carrie and I had been together for over a year and I still hadn't completely given up on my ex-girlfriend.
Mom and Dad didn't make it any easier each time they met or I told them about a new girl. They were polite still their disapproval rang through each and every time. I mistakenly thought that if they met Carrie, broke bread with her that perhaps they might change their tune. It was a really bad call.
Ellen, Mom cautiously approached me. I was furious. The trip home had been one disaster after another. It began when I asked if I could bring a friend home with me. Silly me I thought when Mom and Dad said it wasn't a problem that it wouldn't be a problem. Now when Sammy was rude to Carrie I wasn't surprised. He was still a kid and still believed that Ginny could walk on water. My parents on the other hand had no excuse for their lack of manners.
I spent most of the day apologizing to Carrie. I kept explaining that yes my parents truly are warm and loving people. In fact so long as we don't throw it up in their faces they don't have a problem with our relationship. My mistake was assuming that just because they didn't have a problem with Ginny meant they didn't have a problem with my sexuality.
Carrie was hurt, but never said a word. Both she and I were on our best behavior, and to the outside observer we wouldn't appear to be any more than close friends. We weren't fooling my parents. I just never thought we had to. They knew about me. Hell everyone knew about me. So long as no one talked about it, no one seemed to care. I couldn't wait for dinner to be over so we could get out of there. I was tired of my parents acting like Carrie wasn't in the room. Before dinner was over Dad managed to punch my ticket one too many times.
Dad! I shouted throwing down my napkin startling everyone at the table.
I don't care for that tone. He cautioned me.
Why would you bring that up? I harped not caring that I was defying him.
All I said was that Ginny didn't look good the last time we visited her, he grumbled. You usually like to hear about our visits with her.
Just before I could blurt out, 'not in front of my new girlfriend!' Mom stepped in and pleaded for us to calm down.
I am calm. Dad fussed glaring at me.
Carrie wait for me in the car, I instructed swallowing my anger.
Okay. She whispered while bolting for the car.
Eleanore? Mom cut in as I stood. There is no need,
Oh come off it, I wailed. If it wasn't okay you should have just said so.
Eleanore, Dad bellowed. We just want you to be happy.
By mentioning Ginny in front of Carrie? I fumbled. Tell me you didn't know that was wrong? As for happy, I want to be happy. Next time you visit your adopted daughter ask her whose idea it was that I move on with my life? Trust me it wasn't mine. Frankly I'm tired of her self scarifying holier than thou attitude.
Speaking of a holier than thou attitude, Mom calmly butted in. Young lady change that tone of voice. Eleanore I'm not disagreeing with what you are saying. But I will not put up with you speaking to us in this manner. Is that understood?
Sure. I groaned still seething.
Try again. Mom threatened.
I'm sorry, I bit back my anger. I didn't mean to explode. But what you did today wasn't cool.
Perhaps not, Mom conceded. You're right we do think of Ginny as part of the family. And we're not happy watching your new friends come and go. We can't keep track anymore.
It's time you got serious, Dad explained almost sounding repentant.
I am.
With? He motioned towards the window. I knew he was asking how I felt about Carrie.
No, I confessed feeling exposed.
And that is why we are worried, Mom blew out. What happens when Ginny comes home?
I have no idea. I wearily grumbled. If I did things would be a lot easier on all of us.
I couldn't handle the conversation and I knew all too well that my parents were even less equipped to deal with the subject. The truth was if I knew Ginny would take me back I would wait for her. She was the one who made it painfully clear that she wasn't waiting and for me to do so was a waste of time. I retreated simply saying goodnight to my parents and leaving with my girlfriend. To her credit the only thing Carrie said about the fiasco was, 'That was interesting.'
Carrie and I lasted almost another year. It wasn't meant to be. I was still haunted by Ginny. Who still insisted that I move on with my life. I just hated that she could be so reasonable and understanding. I wasn't ready to start dating again. I wanted to be on my own for awhile and see what would happen. I had just survived my one and only normal relationship with a woman. After my first two girlfriends, Carrie was a breath of fresh air. Once again Ginny pushed and along came Martha. I still wonder if I would have given Martha the time of day if I hadn't been so pissed off by Ginny's noble insistence.
At midnight on March 23rd I snuck away from the party my friends had thrown for me. My hands were shaking as I dialed the number. The call was rejected. I could only assume it was because of the time of day. I did a little research and called at the appropriate time the following evening. My call once again was rejected. Wait, I pleaded with the matron who answered my call. I'm twenty-one. I protested.
Your name is on the restricted list. The woman curtly informed me before hanging up.
I had waited four long years just to hear Ginny's voice and for some reason she was refusing to take my calls. I tried several more times. Not being one to just give in the next visitor's day I drove to the prison. I was completely unprepared for what awaited me. I had to fill out endless forms, show my ID over and over again and then I was searched repeatedly. Each search proved to be more degrading than the last. Then just when I thought the wait was over and I was finally going to be able to see Ginny, I was turned away.
I kept trying. I called, I showed up on visitor's day even arriving with my parents on a couple of occasions. Each time my calls were disconnected and I was turned away. Later my parents informed me that Ginny didn't want me to see her in there. So be it. That wasn't going to stop me from showing up on the day she was released. If she still didn't want to see me then she'd have to tell me in person.
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