As always, my thanks to my beta reader, Barbara Davies.
A Handful of Heaven
Part 7
By Midgit
Tori stared at the clock. It was 9pm. Five minutes had passed since she last checked. She hadn't spoken to Eden since the morning of the previous day.
Her lover had returned late, very late on the Monday evening. She'd gone past the computer room door, ignoring the woman within, and spent long moments in the bathroom. Then she went to bed.
When Tori joined her, some thirty minutes later, the blonde was asleep.
Tori had reached out briefly and taken a lock of silky blonde hair between her fingertips. But then she turned away from her and fell, eventually, into a restless sleep.
That morning, Eden rose early and went to work, taking her training kit with her. Tuesday night was rugby night.
So now it was late Tuesday evening. Usually Eden had returned home by this time, the training session lasting from six until eight.
But as the minutes ticked by, Tori grew increasingly agitated. She had practised her apology all day. She had practised telling Eden just how much she loved her, how much she needed her. And then, she decided, she would show her just how much.
Tori looked at the clock again. 9.06pm.
She stared at the phone in her hand. Not knowing how it got there or why. She'd tried Eden a couple of times in the day. Twice she got her answering service. She'd thought about driving into the city, and going to the shop to see her lover. And twice talked herself out of that.
She'd dialled the number before she realised, and listened with a rapidly beating heart to the sound of it connecting. It rang, and was picked up.
"Hello?"
"Um. Hi."
"Tori? Jesus, Tori, is that you?"
A sigh. "Yeah."
"It's good to hear you."
"You too, Jodie."
"How are you?"
"I'm muddling along."
"What's up?"
"Does something have to be up?"
"I haven't heard from you in over three years. So, yeah."
"Nothing's up."
"Where are you?"
"How do you mean?"
A sigh. "Are you in London still?"
"Not any more, no."
"So where?"
"Bath."
Silence.
"You still there, Jo?"
"Yeah, I'm here. Why Bath?"
"I met someone."
"Really? And this person is from Bath?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"And we're together."
"Define 'together'."
"Living together."
Silence.
"It's not that shocking, Jo."
"It is for me. What about the devil's spawn?"
"Damien?"
"The one and only."
"He's not around anymore."
"You finally ditch him?"
A sigh. "Yeah."
"Good for you. So tell me about the live-in lover."
Silence.
"Is she cute?"
"She's beautiful."
"Should have known, but you're probably biased. You online?"
"Yeah."
"Send me a pic. Knowing you, you probably have one on your hard drive."
"I'll think about it."
"So what's up, then?"
"Why does anything have to be up?"
"Well, for one, you never call me. And two, there is no way on this damn Earth that I can see you cohabiting with another human being for more than a week. How long have you two been together anyway?"
"February."
"Blimey. Over six months."
"Yeah."
"You don't change much, Tori. You always were a lethal talker."
"Yeah."
"Is she there?"
"No."
"Why not?"
Silence.
"You've had a fight."
"Not really."
"You have, haven't you?"
"Sort of."
"What's her name?"
"Eden."
"Paradise."
"Yeah."
"What's she like?"
"She's the most amazing person I've ever met. Nothing like me. Always has a smile on her face. But she's fallen for me, so maybe she isn't perfect."
"My God, Tori, steady on. You'll exhaust yourself with long sentences like that." A chuckle.
"I've been a total prat."
"Sounds about right."
"Jo." Another sigh.
"Sorry. What happened?"
"I got jealous."
Silence.
"I know. She's changed me, Jo. I need her."
Silence.
"Never thought this would happen to me. Always thought I could walk away. But I can't manage without her now."
"Tori?"
"Yeah?"
"You need to talk about this?"
"I called you, didn't I?"
"Yes you did."
"So, I guess I want to talk."
"Go on then."
A long silence. " I was looking for a place to rent."
"In Bath?"
"Yeah. She was in the estate agent's. She found me a place. Later that night she called me at the hotel and asked me out."
"Forward, is she?"
"No, not really. But that's just what she's like. She knew I was in Bath alone, and thought I could use a friend."
"So you met her?"
"We had a good time. Things went on from there."
"So what's up now?"
"An old flame of hers showed up."
"Is that a problem?"
"It shouldn't be, should it?"
"No. So why is it?"
"I'm not used to this, Jo. You know me."
A chuckle. "Yes, I do. What did you do?"
"I got jealous; now she isn't talking to me."
"What sort of person is she, Tori?"
"I told you, nothing like me. I need her, Jo, and that's taking some getting used to."
"Never thought I'd hear you say you needed someone."
"Neither did I." A pause. "I have to go."
"Oh no you don't. Tori, talk to me."
"What about?"
"What the hell d'you think? Jesus, Tori. You call me out of the blue, tell me you've turned into another person, and then say `bye. Don't think so somehow."
"Sorry."
"So........ Is this the first time you've fallen out?"
"Not really, no."
"Go on."
"She got shot."
Silence.
"Because of me."
Silence.
"And Damien died."
A very deep sigh. "We have some catching up to do, don't we?"
"I told him I wasn't going to marry him. He came after me."
"I always knew he was unstable. I don't know what you were thinking, agreeing to marry the idiot."
"I was doing something for someone else for a change."
"For those people who called themselves your parents? Give me a break, Tori."
"Yeah, well. You heard about Mother?"
"No."
"She got drunk and went through a window, slashed an artery."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
Silence.
"So you were telling me about Damien?"
"He came after us with a gun. Eden got shot and he hit his head falling. It killed him."
"Oh............. She's ok now though?"
"Yeah, she's fine. Only a small scar. Still twists me up inside to see it though."
"I'll bet. So you moved in together after that?"
"No."
"Tori, what happened? And I don't mean about Damien - knowing he's gone is fine by me."
"Did a runner, didn't I. Typical. Thought she'd be better off without me. You know how I can be. She didn't need the problems that I bring to a relationship. She should have listened, huh?"
"Define `did a runner`."
Silence.
"I left her in the hospital. Just stayed around long enough to make sure she was going to be ok, and then ran. Back to London."
"But you went back?"
"Nope, she came after me."
"Some woman you got there."
"Yes, she is."
"And she forgave you?"
"Without reservation."
Silence.
"I don't deserve that."
"Maybe. But as she did give you another chance, you should cherish it."
"I do."
"Do you show her?"
"What?"
"How much you cherish her."
"Yes. I think." A pause. "I signed over everything I have to her."
"Does she want your money?"
"No."
"Sounds like she just wants you."
"She says so."
"Sounds like you're a lucky woman."
"I am."
"So what's up?"
"You keep asking that."
"You called me for a reason, Tori."
Silence.
"I don't know how to make it right. I don't have the words."
"Then show her."
"How?"
"You never had any trouble showing me."
"I don't think sex is the answer. Well, maybe part of it. But I can't use sex to make everything right. I tried that before; it doesn't work."
"I'm not talking about sex, Tori. That wasn't all we did............ Was it?"
Silence.
"We were quite a pair, weren't we?"
"Yeah." A chuckle.
"Where were we?" A pause. "Oh right, sex. No. Not sex. Just tell her how much you love her. The words will come."
"You think so?"
"I'm sure of it."
Silence.
"You still there?"
"Yeah, I hear a car. Listen, I think she's home."
"You'd better go then. Remember, show her. If you can't find the words, show her."
"Ok. Thanks Jodie. I.............."
"Don't worry about it. Just don't leave it so long next time. You know..................."
"I know."
"Bye then, Tori."
"Bye, Jo."
Tori replaced the phone in its cradle and stared at it for a long moment. Then she heaved herself out of the chair she was sitting in and made her way to the front door.
There was a car in her driveway that she didn't recognise, a rather old Montego. Rust around the wheel arches and the bottom of the doors blended badly with the black paintwork.
The person walking towards her, however, she did know.
"Hello, Tori," Annie said.
Tori got to the bottom of the steps. "Hi." She looked past the woman at the car, which seemed to have a couple of other passengers.
"She's, um, had a bit to drink," Annie said, following Tori's gaze back to the car.
"I thought you were playing rugby."
"Oh we did. We finished early, though, and went to the pub."
Behind her Eden fell out of the car. Tori walked past Annie and helped her to her feet, pulling her up by one arm.
The blonde snatched her arm away, glaring at the taller woman. "Don't need you," she said, and staggered past the two women and toward the house.
"I'm sorry," Annie said. "She didn't seem to have that much. It wasn't until we came outside that we realised how gone she was."
Tori shook her head and kneaded her suddenly pounding forehead. "That's ok. Maybe she needed it." She put a hand on Annie's shoulder, "Thanks for bringing her home."
Annie shrugged, took one look at the blonde who was trying to extricate herself from the bush at the bottom of the steps leading to the front door, and popped the trunk of the car. She handed Tori Eden's bag and got into her car, driving off quickly.
Tori turned, bag in hand, and walked towards her lover, who was now slowly making her way up the steps.
The taller woman took her elbow and once again Eden shrugged it off. "I can manage."
"Suit yourself." Tori left her there, and went on into the house, depositing the bag in the hall as she went.
From there she went into the kitchen and put the electric kettle on, intent on making Eden some coffee. She heard her stagger into the hall and straight up the stairs to their bedroom. Then she heard a crash, and decided she'd better check to make sure the blonde wasn't doing too much damage to herself or the house.
She didn't find her in the bedroom, just an overturned stool, but followed the sound of retching to the bathroom.
"Now, that's attractive."
Eden looked up from her view of the toilet bowl to see Tori framed in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against one side. The blonde sagged to the side, coming to rest against the wall beside the toilet. "Go away, Tori," she said, reaching up for some toilet paper and wiping her face.
"You just don't learn, do you? This is your answer to everything." Tori was shaking her head slowly.
Eden was holding her head in both hands, obviously in some pain. "Tori, please, just......... just leave me alone." She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her sweating forehead on them. The room was spinning and she could feel her empty stomach trying to expel the liquid she had consumed that evening. A touch on her face, a finger beneath her chin raising her face to meet concerned blue eyes.
Then a cold damp cloth was wiping away the sweat that beaded on her face and neck.
"Better?" Tori asked, pulling a towel from the rail and wiping her lover's face.
Eden nodded carefully, the motion making her feel sick again. And sick she was. Tori just managed to get out of the way, but the mixture of alcohol, and little else, deposited itself down the front of Eden's shirt and into her lap.
Tori quickly positioned her lover over the toilet again, but dry heaves were all that were left. Sitting her down again, she once more wiped her face, twice dampening the washcloth and ringing it out.
Eden was trembling, her eyes tightly shut.
"Let's get this off." Tori pulled the shirt out of the waistband of Eden's jeans, and gently pulled her lover's hands away from the buttons of her shirt, which shaking fingers were having no luck in undoing.
She undid Eden's shirt and pulled it off the blonde, who was now resigned to letting the taller woman undress her. Tori reached up into the sink, and ran the cloth under the cold tap again.
"Cold," she warned as she wiped off Eden's chest and stomach.
The blonde head was bowed, and she was taking deep breaths, trying to control her rumbling stomach.
"I'm sorry," Eden whispered.
Tori found the green eyes, flinching at the pain she saw there. "Me too." She cupped the back of the blonde head and pulled it onto her shoulder. Turning her head she kissed the warm cheek. "D'you wanna get off the floor?"
She heard Eden sniff. "Don't know if I can."
Tori stood and held a hand down to the woman on the floor. "Come on. Let's get you in the shower."
Eden allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, and stood on shaky legs as Tori eased the zip of her jeans down. Then she was pushed gently back to sit on the edge of the bath. Tori knelt and undid Eden's shoes, easing each one off along with her socks. Standing her up again she lowered the jeans, holding onto the swaying woman as she stepped out of them.
Tori reached into the shower and turned it on, adjusting the heat until it was just right. "D'you want me to wait here?"
Eden took a handful of Tori's shirt and pulled the taller woman closer. "No. Join me." She stood on tiptoes and kissed Tori's chin. "Please. I've missed you."
"Ok." She kissed her lover's forehead. "I'll get us some towels."
Eden was already in the shower by the time Tori had undressed. She eased in behind the blonde who was leaning with both hands against the shower wall.
"I feel ill again."
"You want to throw up?"
"Don't think so. Just really dizzy."
Tori pulled the smaller body against her own. Reaching around Eden she snagged the soap and started lathering the soft skin under her hands. Tori knew that her lover probably wasn't going to last too long, she could feel the small body leaning heavily against her. She turned Eden to face her, and closed her eyes as their bodies made contact. Eden rested her head against Tori's chest and relaxed into the embrace.
"Feeling better?" Tori breathed into the wet hair.
"My head is splitting."
"Let's get you to bed."
"Don't know if I should lie down. " Her voice was partially muffled by Tori's chest. "Always makes me feel worse."
Tori stepped out of the shower and helped her lover out as well. She took the two large bath towels and wrapped Eden in one, then draped the other over her own shoulders.
They reached the bed, and Tori pushed Eden down to sit on the edge. She knelt in front of the wavering form and ducked to see into the glazed green eyes.
"How much did you have?"
Eden made an attempt to dry herself, but her arms suddenly felt incredibly heavy. "I don't remember drinking that much. We weren't there long."
"What did you eat today?" The silence she received as an answer was enough. "Eden, you did eat, didn't you?"
The blonde rubbed her face with a shaky hand. "Didn't really think about it. I was really busy. I had two viewings and a valuation. I didn't stop."
Tori stood abruptly, startling her lover. "For crissake, Eden. You have to look after yourself a little." She began pacing, watched every minute by sad green eyes.
Tori spun back towards her, her anger growing. She found Eden slumped, her head in her hands, her shoulders heaving.
She dropped to her knees in front of the sobbing woman. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. Come here." She crawled onto the bed, pulling the blonde with her until her back was against the headboard and her lover was cradled in her lap.
"I've been so miserable."
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault," said Tori.
"No. Don't say that." Eden took a deep breath. "I spoke to my parents."
"When?"
"Last night." Eden snuggled closer.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You were busy when I got home."
Tori remembered back. She had been working on the computer when Eden had arrived. But she thought the blonde hadn't wanted to talk when she went straight to bed. "You should have come and talked to me." She gently squeezed a little tighter. "How were they?"
"Oh, they were fine. They're glad I'm happy."
"That's wonderful." Tori was quiet for a moment, resting her chin on the damp golden hair. "Are you?"
"What?" Eden's voice sounded far away.
"Happy?"
"Happier than I've ever been."
"I'm sorry," said Tori.
"Me too." Eden yawned and sighed, resting heavily against the solid body beneath her.
"Go to sleep, sweetheart." Tori closed her eyes, and felt herself relax for the first time in nearly three days. Her lover was back where she belonged.