In Too Deep

By Ronica Black

Copyright 2002

Please read the introduction previously posted before reading chapter 1. Please do not read if strong language, sexual content and or violence offend you.

Chapter 1

The five detectives sat in awkward silence staring at a conference table in a crisp, air conditioned room. Erin glanced up from her hands and looked around the table at her soon to be partners.

Jeff Hernandez sipped on a cup of coffee across from her. They had gone through the academy together seven years earlier. She trusted him with her life and regarded him the respect she gave other noble officers in the department. His family had recently grown with the birth of his first child, a son. His wife Maria was a feisty, petite woman with a killer sense of humor and Erin adored her.

Erin’s eyes drifted over to Martin Stewart. The difference between the two men was like night and day. She inwardly cringed at the older detective. Stewart had a good heart, somewhere, she hoped. Maybe behind his tough guy façade was a sensitive, decent human being.

Stewart was married, he was from New Jersey and he was one of the best homicide detectives in the state. Other than that she knew nothing else about him. He was an asshole. That, she knew first hand. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back in his chair with a tooth pick dancing around his thick lips. A pack of gum and a steaming cup of coffee sat on the table in front of him. Apparently, since he had quit smoking, he was popping all sorts of things in his mouth to distract it from the nicotine cravings.

He looked over at her and she quickly looked away and concentrated on the detectives seated directly next to her. Patricia Henderson and her partner Gary Jacobs were talking quietly amongst themselves, glancing over the homicide files. The two had been working closely with Hernandez and Stewart since the second killing, much to Stewart’s dismay. Erin realized that she didn’t know all that much about either detective. She recognized Patricia from the academy where she had instructed the self defense class. Erin seemed to remember that the woman was extensively trained in martial arts and hand to hand combat and Erin had been in awe at her grace and power. Today, however, Patricia sat engrossed in a file with her auburn hair pulled back away from the elegant features of her face. Small sterling silver hoop earrings pierced her ears and a single platinum ring decorated her right hand, from this Erin assumed she wasn’t married.

Patricia looked up as her partner Gary traded files with her. He was a serious, no nonsense kind of cop. Erin always found him to be well mannered and polite but she had never seen him crack a smile. Not once. Not even when someone hired a drag queen to come in and sing happy birthday to Stewart last year. Erin had been in tears with laughter as the better than Cher look alike straddled a red faced Stewart and rubbed his bald head while she sang. But Gary had sat and watched from his desk with a blank expression on his face, almost as if he were watching grass grow.

Erin tapped her pen nervously against her notepad. They were waiting for a briefing to begin with their Sergeant. This would be the first of many meetings involving these five detectives and the serial killings. A larger task force was in the works, which would also include the FBI. But these five detectives were the closest to the case and the most knowledgeable in regards to the circumstances involving the three killings.

She tossed down her pen and rubbed her temples. The headache she had awoken with was not letting up. Sleep had not come easy for her the night before. She had stayed up late going over the victim files until she knew them by heart. Next, she had studied her target, Elizabeth Adams, their main suspect. She hadn’t even gotten halfway through the file before she was scared to death and anxious as all hell about having to interact with her. It wasn’t that the woman was terrifying in a psychotic serial killer kind of way. It was the fact that she was beautiful, powerful and exuded confidence. It seeped from the woman, even in the photos. She thought back to the pictures of the 5’10 raven haired Adams looking very professional in skirts and heels. Erin remembered her good her long legs looked in the short skirts and it had been easy to see how anyone would find her appealing. Erin’s thoughts then went back to other photos of Adams. The ones of her dressed in black leather pants and tight, sleeveless shirts, showing a more intimidating woman than the working professional the other photos showed. And Erin had found herself more than intimidated and she was beginning to doubt if she could break through the woman. Afterall, a woman was a lot different than a man.

Men were simply easier to get to and her previous two undercover jobs in narcotics had been a piece of cake compared to this. From what she read Adams was highly intelligent and a far cry from someone who was looking to make a quick buck by selling crack to kids. And she had had more women than Wilt Chamberlain, so why would she be willing to let Erin in?

"Good morning everyone." Sergeant Eric Ruiz glided in with a smile on his face, forcing Erin back to the reality of the conference room.

"Morning" came the group reply, not nearly as enthusiastic as the ever ready Ruiz.

Ignoring their lack of enthusiasm he slapped his thick stack of files down on the end of the table and adjusted his wire rim glasses. His was a shorter man, standing about 5 foot 8 and he had a head full of thick black hair that was just starting to gray at the temples. Despite his overzealousness and shorter stature Erin was very much intimidated by her superior. He demanded a lot from his detectives, showing off a fiery temper on a very short fuse when things didn’t go as planned. Nevertheless, his integrity and nobility were known far and wide throughout the department and Erin had the utmost respect for him.

"Ok," he said as he clapped his hands together, "You all know why you’re here, so let’s get to it." He rubbed his hands together and began his infamous pacing. The man did not know the meaning of sitting still. "Mac, how are you feeling about all this?"

Erin sat up straighter in her chair. "Fine sir," she blatantly lied. She felt like a scared rabbit but she would be damned before she would admit that, especially in front of this group. She did have some pride.

"I know you aren’t ready right now, but do you think you can be ready to roll by Saturday?" He asked as he stroked his chin and walked swiftly by her.

"Yes sir. She lied again."

Patricia Henderson stirred slightly next to her. "What, exactly, is the plan for Saturday?"

Ruiz stopped at the question, but only briefly, before he resumed his pace. "We introduce Mac onto the scene at Adam’s night club La Femme where we are hoping for an instant response and interest from Adams."

Erin’s mind flashed back to the file on Adams and visions of the elite lesbian night club came into her thoughts. Adams owned the popular club, along with a small production company notoriously well known for their lesbian themed films.

Henderson wouldn’t look at Erin, even though they were discussing her. "How far are we willing to let her to go with Adams on Saturday?"

Erin’s face flooded with hot blood immediately upon hearing the question. Stewart about choked on his shredded toothpick and it flew out across the table. He looked around the table like a fourteen year old boy talking about porn, with an excited grin planted on his face None of the other detectives found the question humorous.

"You think we’ll need to decide that before hand? Adams will move that quickly?" Ruiz pointed the question back to Henderson.

She answered matter of factly and Erin found her demeanor cold and distant. "Absolutely, sir."

Erin began to mentally chide herself for not finishing the file on Adams. She must’ve missed the section on aggressiveness with new and strange women. Would she really move that fast? Were they talking about sex?

"What do you suggest Henderson?" Ruiz gave her the ball to their court, the game was up to her.

"I think we should discuss it with McKenzie sir. After all, she’s the one going in. It will depend on what she’s comfortable with and the circumstances at the time. We just need to make sure she’s ready for anything."

All eyes focused on Erin and she wished the blood would leave her cheeks and re-circulate. Ready for anything?

"I agree." Ruiz stated. "We send Mac in and she will determine her own course of action at the given time. I trust her to do what’s necessary to befriend Adams in a safe manner."

"We don’t actually think Adam’s would harm Mac do we?" Jeff asked looking very concerned.

Henderson looked at Gary and he adjusted his glasses before speaking. "At this time we have no reason to believe Ms. Adams would cause harm to McKenzie. Her menace lies with males. She has never been known to physically harm females."

"So you’re saying Adams will try to fuck Mac senseless, but she won’t hurt her?" Stewart let out, enjoying this way too much.

"In a matter of speaking, yes." Gary was calm and unamused.

Henderson made eye contact with Ruiz who immediately stopped pacing. There was something unspoken going on between them. "Right, let’s go over our victim files so we can give Erin an idea what to look for."

Ruiz tossed three files down the table in front of the detectives. Stewart opened them for everyone to see. Erin recognized the pictures of the three dead men.

"As you all know, all three of our victims were killed in the same fashion." Henderson was briefing the detectives in a calm, confident matter. "All were taken to a private location, a hotel in Mr. Bale’s case, where they were promised sexual favors. At this location each of the men were caught in a compromising position and bound by the wrists." She paused and glanced at each detective. "We are assuming they were tied to a bed post or something similar. Our lab has found traces of nylon fibers on the wrists of every victim."

Henderson continued. "We have also found traces of GHB or Liquid X in all our victims. We all know this as the infamous date rape drug. It incapacitates an individual and in most cases leads to unconsciousness. However, in our victims only a small amount was used, not enough to bring them to unconsciousness. The drug was most likely given to our victims in a drink soon after they met up with our suspect, just enough to get their guard down."

Henderson stopped and allowed Gary to continue, "After the GHB, our suspect then injects the victims with a powerful tranquilizer, used primarily on horses. This is the drug that renders our victims completely defenseless, causing them to lose the use of their limbs, sending them in and out of consciousness." He paused and looked down at a picture of the first victim. He continued softly, "Unfortunately, it does not numb one of pain and I’m sad to say that each victim most likely felt a large amount of pain and was, at the very least, somewhat aware of the horror that was happening to him."

Silence held thick between the detectives as each one contemplated what was said.

Ruiz broke the quiet, not wanting the detectives to lose sight of the mission and to get swept away in sorrow for the victims. "Hernandez and Stewart, please fill us in on the rest."

Erin looked up at Jeff Hernandez as he began to fill them in on the post mortem details. "Each victim was found in an isolated desert area on the outskirts of the valley, all three being found within a five mile radius. All three were shot execution style to the head and ballistics concurs that the same 9mm was used in all three cases. Before death, however, each victim was subjected to mutilation of their genitalia with each victim sustaining four stab wounds to the penis and scrotum."

Silence filled the room once again before Stewart began to speak. "The only thing we’ve found at the scene are the guy’s pants which held their wallets." He was chomping loudly on chewing gum as he continued. "Robbery was not a motive here. The chick leaves hundreds of dollars in cash along with credit cards in the wallet." He continued smacking the gum and looked around the room at his fellow detectives. "It’s a message people. She’s saying loud and clear that she doesn’t give a fuck about their money. She doesn’t need it, or want it."

"I agree," Ruiz stated calmly, "She knows that each of these men are wealthy, and more importantly, they have all tried to use their wealth and power against her."

"Yes, this is the most important aspect of this case for you McKenzie." Henderson made eye contact briefly with her for the first time. Her eyes were dark blue and it startled Erin momentarily, but Henderson didn’t seem to notice. "The fact that Adams knew each one of these men and she verbally threatened them all is the main reason she’s our number one suspect."

Erin knew that these men were all members of an all male, high society type club. Their group had tried to shut La Femme down by revoking her liquor license and they had tried to ban the lesbian films she produced from being sold in local stores, claiming that the films were of pornographic, unnatural material. These short bouts of trouble had been more than enough to cause a strong reaction in Elizabeth Adams.

Witnesses in a posh Valle Luna restaurant had overheard the strikingly beautiful woman threaten the men as they dined with their wives one evening in April. With a smile on her face she had threatened to kill and castrate each of them if they continued to blacklist her.

"Mac, what we need you to look for is anything relating to the victims." Ruiz was leaning on the table with both arms out in front of him supporting his small stature. "Whether it be personal items or information or an outright bragging confession from Adams, all of that would be great."

"Yes, she would’ve most likely kept something that belonged to each of them, a trophy of sorts." Gary added.

Erin gulped and hoped no one noticed. "I’ll do my best." She looked up at Ruiz. "I’m assuming I’ll be wired for sound?" The assumption was based on her previous undercover assignments in which she had worn wires to record evidence.

Henderson and Ruiz once again looked at one another, seeming to communicate via telepathy. Ruiz answered carefully and not so confidently. "Yes, on Saturday we will have you wired for sound. However, if at any point you feel it unsafe to wear it, if she gets too friendly, discard of it immediately."

"Of course, sir." This woman must move really fast. She swallowed some fear and hoped no one noticed.

"We will also have another officer in the club planting cameras in order for us to have a visual to help keep you safe." He stood from his lean against the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

Erin breathed an inward sigh of relief. She would have back up in the club. Thank God.

"I’ve arranged for you to meet up with our sound guy along with your liaison tonight if it’s ok with you."

Ruiz read the confusion on her face. "You will have a liaison to help you prepare for your assignment."

"Tonight will be fine." She would welcome any help they offered.

Stewart’s beeper went off and Ruiz began restacking the files. Ruiz adjourned the group until the next briefing on Friday morning. "Remember any and all new information you gather must be brought to the meeting on Friday and given to Mac. We want her as prepared as possible."

Stewart strolled towards the door. "Guess the next time I see you, you’ll be a full fledged dyke." The comment was directed at Mac and she felt her anger begin to surface as her cheeks flared red at the crude remark. But before she could respond, she felt a warm hand on her arm, helping her to contain her temper. It was Henderson, who she noticed had not moved to exit like the other detectives. Instantly feeling calmer at the show of support, Erin chose her words carefully.

"You better hope so Detective Stewart, I know you need all the help you can get on this case." She gave him a smile, more of a smirk really.

Stewart mumbled a derogatory comment under his breath and eyed both women before stomping through the door.

"Thanks." Erin turned toward Henderson with a sigh of relief.

"No problem." Henderson stood and grabbed her files. "He’s just jealous that you’ll get more girls than he ever could."

Erin laughed at the comment. "I don’t know about that." She thought of Stewart’s appearance and changed her mind. "He is pretty awful isn’t he?"

"In every way possible, I’m afraid." Henderson eyed Erin as she stood and held the door as they exited the conference room. "He is one damn good detective though."

"So I’ve heard." Erin stated, still disbelieving it. They stopped outside Ruiz’s office and Henderson had her hand on the door. It appeared that she was to have an additional meeting with Ruiz. Erin gave her a brief smile, before turning to go her own way back to her desk.

She could feel Henderson’s eyes on her back.

"See you later." Henderson said softly before heading into Ruiz’s office.

* * * * * *

Erin eyed her vodka and ice. She was already on her second and she hadn’t even been home an hour. At least with this second one she had taken the time to add a lemon twist, unlike the first one which she had gulped down before it even chilled. She had been drinking more lately, the loneliness finally becoming unbearable. She took a sip and thought of her day.

It had been a rough one, one that had been spent going over and over all the information she had been given on Adams. And the night didn’t promise to be any more laxed with the imminent visit of her liaison and sound guy. She plopped down on the leather sofa and realized that it was cold on her bare legs and unforgivingly stiff from lack of use. Uncomfortable, she stood and tugged at the maroon mesh athletic shorts that matched her gray and maroon Arizona State t-shirt. She decided to instead sit on the floor.

The entire house was brand new and virtually unused, especially evident on the carpet in which she now sat. It still smelled new and she ran her hand along its surface, making a track against the soft grain. The four thousand square foot home contained the finest in furniture and décor but to her it seemed empty. She hated its coldness and spent as much time away from it as possible.

She fumbled with the remote to the large plasma screen TV. She had never even turned the damn thing on and she didn’t know how to use it. Yet, it was her husband’s insistence that they have the newest and best of everything, regardless of her repeated objections.

She sighed at the thought of Mark. Since he had made partner at his law firm they had seen less and less of each other. The past year they had merely existed amongst one another, seeing each other on rare occasion. Yet, he still made sure their home and vehicles were top of the line, for if and when he needed to show them off. He was all about appearances and Erin had become his trophy along with the other possessions.

They had been married for six years and for the last two Erin had lived in her own room. The new house allowed her her own wing as well. She had briefly considered divorce but since she had been promoted at work she had spent most of her time down at the department or working undercover. For the time being it was just easier to let things be. And when the time did come to go, she would be ready. She had already collected all the evidence she needed against Mark, his mistress in Austin being no secret to her.

She took another gulp at her vodka. Things with Mark didn’t hurt her at all anymore. She had just simply stopped caring. It was the loneliness and the thought that she was missing out on something truly special, somewhere, somehow. That’s what drove her to drink. Was this all there was to life? A career, a meaningless marriage and a big, empty house?

She mashed more buttons on the remote and suddenly the DVD she had put in began to play.

It was one of the many movies that Adam’s produced. Erin had brought home a box of them, much to the disappointment of some of the male detectives who enjoyed watching them.

This particular one was titled Hearts Afire and it appeared to be one of the milder movies. She figured she’d better start off slow and easy. She crossed her legs in front of her and focused on the movie. She had mentally prepared herself for any offensiveness that watching two women have sex might bring her, but ten minutes into the movie and she was completely engrossed in its plot, any reservations she had were long gone as she made herself more comfortable by laying out onto her belly and propping her head up onto her fists.

The story was incredible and she soon found herself rooting for the two women to proclaim their love for one another. In fact, she became so involved in the movie that she found herself pacing in front of the TV. and laughing in a giddy manner when the women finally became intimate. Completely frozen in amazement, she watched as the two women made love. She was surprised to find that the sight of two women being intimate did not make her uncomfortable in any way. Instead, she found herself more than intrigued by the spectacle and when the movie came to an end, she was disappointed and she dug through the box to hurriedly find another.

Grabbing one entitled Leather Lasses, she opened it and slid it in the player. Strangely excited, she stood waiting for it to play. But no sooner than it had started, the doorbell rang.

"Shit." It was undoubtedly her liaison and sound guy. She had completely lost track of time. She grabbed the remote and pushed a button to make the DVD stop but it didn’t work. Two women in leather appeared on screen and one aggressively grabbed the other and kissed her passionately. Deciding that this could not be left on in front of her guests, she turned the power to the TV directly off. The kissing women disappeared behind the black screen as the TV. shut off into darkness.

The doorbell chimed again and she ran to the door and yanked it open hurriedly to find J.R. Stanford standing next to a beautiful woman. She should have known it would be J.R.; he had worked her sound on her last assignment. He grinned at her in the devilish way that only he could and elbowed the woman next to him to get her to turn all the way around to face the door.

Erin smiled back in relief at seeing J.R. and she went to greet the woman but was startled to find herself staring at Patricia Henderson. Erin had never seen Henderson with her hair down and the woman was strikingly beautiful. Her thick auburn hair rested on her shoulders and Erin noticed her eyes were more of a blue green in the light of the setting sun.

Her thoughts were interrupted by J.R. who waved his hand in front of her face. "Hello? Earth to Mac."

She shook her head to snap out of her rudeness. "I’m sorry; it’s just that I didn’t expect to see you." She directed the apology to Henderson who only smiled in return.

"It’s ok; I thought it might surprise you."

Erin motioned for them to come inside. "Why didn’t you just tell me today?" She asked, genuinely curious as to why Henderson and Ruiz didn’t enlighten her earlier today.

"I asked Ruiz not to, not in front of everyone that it is."

They entered the house and J.R. began being J.R. "Holy shit Mac, you dealin drugs on the side?" He teased while looking around the house in complete awe.

Erin laughed at him. J.R. was such a character the way he spoke with a Spanish accent and slight lisp, causing him to sound very unique. And he proudly told anyone who asked that he and his mother came from Mexico and that his father was the "Wonder Bread". J.R. was also eccentric in every way, dressing worse than a blind man on a good day. Presently, Erin observed him in tight, faded jeans and a wildly colorful shirt with traffic signals all over it. The loud shirt was unbuttoned halfway down showing off sporadic chest hair.

"Seriously," He continued, completely oblivious to her eyeing his attire. "I know you was working narcotics and all, but I didn’t know you was "working it". He bumped hips with her and eyed her playfully. "You go, chica".

Henderson also stood looking around at the spectacle of a home.

"My husband is an attorney at a successful law firm." Erin found herself saying, needing to explain "That is the only reason I live in a house like this." She looked around at its audacity and cringed at what her colleagues must be thinking. "I could never afford this on my salary."

"Man, I was waiting for fuckin Lurch to answer the door." J.R. said as he continued to look around.

"Please come in and make yourselves at home." Erin offered, trying to get their minds off her home. She led them into the living room where she had spent the remainder of the afternoon watching the lesbian movie.

"You mean you don’t have a big dead lookin dude to answer your door, Mac?" He sounded truly disappointed and Erin playfully elbowed him, embarrassed at his words.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?"

Henderson shook her head no politely and Erin looked to J.R. who was looking directly past her.

"Oh man, you gotta plasma TV.!" He moved around her quickly, heading for the TV. "I heard the picture is like 100 times better on these things." Before she knew what was happening, he had grabbed the remote and found the power button.

"Wait!" She tried to stop him, but it was too late. The screen came to life just as the two women in leather came together in a series of loud orgasmic screams.

Erin felt her face redden all the way up to her ears.

"Oh my goodness, Mac you bad bitch!" J.R. was looking at the screen and turning his head in examination of their position.

Henderson looked at Erin and laughed. "I see you’ve been doing your homework." She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans a little embarrassed herself at the situation.

"Yeah, I don’t think Mac needs you now. She’s learning on her own" J.R. said to Henderson without looking away from the screen.

Erin threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "You got me." Inwardly she wanted to die, but she stood her ground, hoping against hope that this would not find its way back to the department. She cringed as she thought of what Stewart would have to say about it.

They all stood in silence and watched the screen as two new women now entered the scene.

"Hey Henderson, you in this one?" J.R. chided.

"Fuck you." Henderson shot back and grabbed the remote from him, to which he protested loudly.

"Just do your thing and get out of here." She said placing the remote in her back pocket, a place she knew for sure he wouldn’t go. "We have important things to discuss."

"Well, if I can’t watch the movie, can I watch you guys?" He raised his eyebrows in mock hope.

Both women stared him down with arms crossed across their chests.

"Ok, ok. I had to try." He moved over to his bag of equipment and began removing wires and rolls of tape. "I don’t have to do much, since I’ve already worked with Mac before. But I do need to show you guys how to communicate with each other."

Erin looked up at Henderson. "You mean you’re the one going in with me too?"

Henderson shook her head yes as J.R approached them carrying two small pieces.

"Henderson will be wearing an ear piece which will let her listen to you and to the guys outside." He handed her the ear piece and then moved over to Erin. "Mac will be fitted with a wire for her voice sound. This one is smaller and safer than what we used last time. It fits right in your bra."

Erin remembered that J.R. always got excited when he talked business. He truly loved his job and she had become fast friends with him since their last undercover assignment.

"Here, let’s try it out." He motioned for Erin to lift up her shirt, which she willingly did. He fastened a tiny black device to the center of her bra. She looked up and caught Henderson watching them with an obvious look of invasion on her face.

"It’s ok." Erin felt she needed to explain. "I trust him not to bite. Besides, I happen to know for sure that J.R. isn’t into me." She knew that J.R. himself was gay, but she kept that to herself. It would be difficult for him if everyone at the department knew. All the macho stuff was bullshit. He definitely loved women, but not in the way he led others to believe.

Henderson looked away quickly at the comment and Erin could see a tint of red to her cheeks. She was blushing. Suddenly Erin realized that Henderson had been looking at her bare skinned torso, not J.R. Feeling self conscious Erin looked down at the black lace bra and fairly toned abs.

Judging by the blush Henderson was sporting, Erin thought she must look pretty good. But then again she didn’t know for sure what women liked in other women. Mark had always told her she was too muscular for his taste. She wondered what Henderson thought of her and she planned on asking her later that evening when they were alone. She had to make sure she was up to par before she went undercover.

"Ok, Henderson lets put in this earpiece." He helped her fit the tiny piece behind her thick hair where it was completely hidden from view. No one would see it unless they pulled back her hair and looked for it. "Go in the other room and see if you can hear us." J.R. instructed.

Henderson complied and walked to the other wing of the house.

J.R walked over to Erin and stood in front of her. "Mac has a nice rack." He said with a smirk.

She laughed and smacked him on the arm. "Hey that hurt!" He rubbed his arm. "Seriously though, what are you carrying…a nice pair of C’s?"

"Yes, they’re C’s." She replied, examining herself. She blushed suddenly, remembering that Henderson could their conversation.

J.R. had similar thoughts. "You better be careful being alone here with Henderson tonight. She might try to sleep with you to authenticate your undercover role. This time tomorrow, you could be a butch truck driver wearing horrible flannel shirts."

He had barely finished the last sentence when Henderson came flying into the living room and grabbed him by the front of his shirt scooting him over to his equipment. "Out, get out now!" She yanked out her earpiece and tossed it to him. "Your equipment works great, now you can go." She looked at Erin and breathed, "I’ll take that drink now please. Make it strong."

"Shit man, I was just making sure you could hear us." He straightened his shirt and grimaced. "Oh man, I think you got some chest hair."

Erin couldn’t help but laugh at the both of them. She pulled up her shirt once again and retrieved the small listening device. This time Henderson was too busy sitting on the couch massaging her temples to look at her.

"Can I ask an obvious question?" Erin said as she handed J.R. the device. "Why aren’t you the one going in undercover?"

Henderson looked up from the couch and opened her mouth to answer, but J.R. cut in before she could.

"Are you kidding? She’s slept with half of Valle Luna! They would make her before she even walked in the door!"

Henderson glared at him and he backed up a little unconsciously rubbing at his chest hair.

"I…I would be recognized. It wouldn’t work." She said in defeat and dropped her head again into her hands.

"See! I told you." J.R. picked up his equipment bag and headed towards the door. Henderson gave him the finger from her seat on the couch. "That hurts Henderson." He patted his heart as if it truly pained him.

Erin walked with him to the front door. "See ya, Mac." He kissed her on the cheek and stepped out into the desert evening.

She returned to the living room and looked to Henderson with concern. "Headache?"

"Asshole is more the word I would choose for him." She was rubbing her temples again.

"Very true." Erin laughed. "But I was talking about you, how bad is your headache?"

Henderson looked up at the beautiful, athletic looking woman in front of her. No one had taken the time to notice her feelings in years. It felt oddly nice that she paid attention.

"It’s not so bad. I just need to eat, I haven’t had anything since this morning."

Erin sighed, "Well there’s nothing here to eat. Can you hold off on passing out until a pizza gets here?"

This time Henderson laughed and it was the first time Erin had ever seen her smile. She was incredible and she thought should smile more often.

"Pizza’s fine. And I promise not to pass out."

"What kind do you want?" Erin picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Oh, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s food."

Erin placed the order for a large pepperoni and hung up the phone. "How’s forty minutes sound? I can get two drinks in you by then." She headed over to the bar and grabbed two glasses and clanked in some ice cubes. "I’m betting you’re a scotch drinker."

Henderson stared at her in awe. "How could you possibly know that?" She walked over to the bar to retrieve her drink.

"Call it a gift." Erin handed her the tumbler filled with an expensive scotch and began refilling her own vodka.

"Thanks, this is just what I need." Henderson rarely drank but she needed something to help ease her nerves for what she was about to do. It didn’t make it an easier that Erin was so attractive. She hadn’t been truly attracted to someone in years.

Henderson sipped her scotch. "Those things J.R. said about me….they’re not true."

Erin stood there a little unsure what to say. "Ok. But regardless, your private life is none of my business." Erin heard herself say the words, but she suddenly realized that she did indeed want to know more about this detective, her liaison.

"Yes, it is important that you do know. I’m going to need you to trust me and listen to me. And you can’t very well do that if you think I’m going to come on to you."

Erin gulped at her vodka. This was harder on her than she thought it would be. Henderson stirred things in her. She didn’t know why or how exactly, but things were moving inside her.

"I trust you, Henderson. And I never believe anything that comes out of J.R’s mouth."

"Thank God." Henderson said sipping some more scotch and taking a deep breath, trying to gather some nerve. "I need to talk to you about some pretty personal issues. And it’s important that you are completely honest with me. Your life may be at stake here McKenzie. Elizabeth Adams is a predator at the top of the food chain."

"Please, call me Mac."

"I need to ask you some questions. Important questions." Henderson looked into bright green eyes and thought for sure she would lose her nerve.

Erin picked up her drink, "Ok, shoot." She motioned for Henderson to follow her to the couch were they both sat.

Henderson squirmed a moment and took a large gulp of the scotch before she began. "Have you ever been intimate with a woman before?"

"No." Erin answered quickly. That was an easy one.

"Have you ever kissed another woman before?"

Erin looked at her in confusion. "I thought I just answered that question. To me, kissing is extremely intimate, and the answer is no."

Henderson sat dumfounded for a moment. She also believed kissing was intimate but so many people did it casually now, like it was nothing more than holding hands.

"Listen, I’m not Bill Clinton here. I don’t have anything to hide."

"Thanks for being honest with me." Henderson glanced down at her empty tumbler, silently wishing the liquid courage would kick in. She took a deep breath and let it out slow before continuing. "Mac, have you ever been attracted to another woman before?"

The question hung in the air between them. Henderson’s blood raced through her temples, but this time the pain was gone. In it’s place was an excitement and nervousness she hadn’t felt in a long time. She recognized it as adrenaline. Sheer adrenaline was surging through her like a flame catching to gasoline. Why was she reacting this way to Erin Mackenzie? This was just part of the job. She was here to help guide this woman undercover on a very dangerous assignment.

She watched as Erin sipped her drink and began to pace with a nervousness throughout the room. She watched her well muscled legs as she walked, and she mentally traced the lines of her neck as she watched her swallow her dink. She had known it the second she found herself blushing at the sight of Erin’s bare torso. She was attracted to her. But she hadn’t been drawn to anyone in years. Why now?

Erin stopped pacing and looked at Henderson sitting before her on the couch. She wasn’t sure how to answer the question. Actually, she wasn’t sure if she understood the question well enough to answer it.

"I’m not sure what you mean by "attracted". Do you mean sexually attracted or intellectually attracted or something else altogether?" Erin ran her hand through her hair and began pacing again, obviously flustered.

"Well I, I guess I mean all of those things. Both of those qualities can lead someone to want intimacy with another. Don’t you agree?" Henderson was perplexed by Erin’s questions and her analysis of a single question.

"No, I don’t think I agree. I mean I’ve had strange and strong attractions to women but they were never sexual."

Henderson suddenly understood Erin’s confusion. "Did you ever have fantasies about these women?"

"Nothing sexual, no."

"They don’t have to be sexual to be intimate Mac." She paused a moment to let her statement set in. "There were fantasies weren’t there?" She asked very softly.

Erin sighed and sat back down as if defeated.

"Yes." She sat her drink down and rubbed her palms on her shorts. Her mind was reeling, trying desperately to make sense of the mess in her head. "I uh, I would fantasize about being with them in different scenarios, different situations. But never anything sexual, just being with them."

Henderson knew these feelings all too well. Erin had never explored her feelings because she simply couldn’t see what they were.

"Would it be fair to say that you were infatuated with these women?"

Erin reacted as if she had been struck. Infatuated was such a strong word. What was going on here? If she was infatuated then that meant she was attracted to women and that meant sex and that meant she was a lesbian. No way.

Henderson saw the panic washing over Erin as the blood drained from her face.

"Mac it’s ok. This isn’t always about sex." Henderson moved closer to Erin on the couch and took her hand to comfort her. "This is why I’m here Mac. I need to make sure you’re ready for all this. If you’ve ever had feelings towards women, no matter how innocent they seemed, there’s a real possibility that this undercover assignment may open up the flood gates for you."

Erin looked into the deep blue eyes of the kind woman sitting next to her. Patricia Henderson was incredibly attractive physically, but emotionally as well. Erin suddenly realized that Henderson would have become the next fantasy. It had been awhile since a woman had held her interest but she now knew that Henderson would have been the next one. Erin was suddenly drawn to her today as she saw her in a new light. Was it because she now knew that Henderson was a lesbian? Erin’s heart rate picked up and she felt her face flush. The thought excited her but she didn’t understand why.

"What does all this mean? My fantasies, my wanting these women to respect me and to be with me?" Erin paused and searched Henderson’s face, desperate for answers. "This doesn’t mean I’m gay…does it?"

"No, I’m not saying that at all. Let’s not jump to conclusions here. I’m trying to get a feel for where you stand on things. If we threw you in undercover right now without exploring these feelings first, you would be in way over your head."

Henderson sat in silence for a moment and eyed Erin’s hand. She knew what she had to do but she suddenly felt like she didn’t have the nerve. Or maybe she was more worried about her own reactions rather than Erin’s.

"You’ve had these infatuations with women for quite some time right?"

Erin shook her head yes.

"Since I was a kid, I think."

Henderson turned Erin’s hand over in her own with the palm resting up.

"And all this time, all those women you fantasized about, none of them ever touched you?"

"Uh, no. Well maybe a hug or something." Erin’s eyes were large and the green was hazed a deeper shade.

Henderson swallowed hard and deep. She looked into the darker green eyes as she began to lightly stroke Erin’s palm and wrist. Erin’s reaction was immediate and evident as she took in a powerful breath and her pupils dilated erasing most of the green.

Henderson knew at once what Erin’s reaction meant and it didn’t help to ease her attraction towards her in the least. Seeing Erin so easily turned on, with her touch being the cause, sent hot adrenaline surging to every aching nerve ending.

"What do you feel Mac?" It came out as a raw whisper as Henderson choked back her desire for the rooky detective. Henderson continued the strokes up Erin’s arm.

Erin didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. The majority of her blood supply was not in her head, instead it was being quickly pumped by her pounding heart to her awakening nether region. She felt completely out of control and yet she had never felt so alive, so awake, and so driven.

"We need to make sure you are aware of these feelings before you go in undercover. It’s ok to feel them, but you must be aware of them so you don’t lose control." Henderson looked from the emerald eyes to rose colored lips, they were slightly parted, beckoning her. "Because it’s so very easy to lose control when you feel desire for another woman." As she said it, she leaned in closer to Erin, giving in to her craving need to taste the other woman, and ignoring her screaming voice of reason.

Erin closed her eyes and awaited the feel of Henderson’s lips. She heard the noise from the garage but she didn’t register it right away. Her eyes flew open as the noise stopped and she bolted off the couch realizing that the noise was the garage door.

Henderson jumped up after her, mentally chiding her momentary lapse of reason. She never let herself lose control like that. What the hell was wrong with her?

"It’s my husband." Erin said looking over her shoulder towards the garage door leading into the house.

Henderson looked at her, not quite understanding. She thought Erin would be furious at her for her unprofessional behavior and she was waiting for her to get upset.

"Excuse me?" She still didn’t understand. She followed Erin’s gaze to the garage door as it opened and a man walked in wearing an expensive suit.

Henderson stared in disbelief. The blood came back to her pounding head with a vengeance.

"Hi." Mark walked in and set down his briefcase.

"What are you doing home so early?" Erin didn’t hide her disappointment. Why did he have to come home at a decent time tonight of all nights?

Mark noticed her resentment and gave her a puzzled look. Any reaction from his wife these days was rare indeed. They merely existed amongst one another without emotion, or concern. He looked at the stranger standing in his home and smoothed down his tie and put on his best smile despite the embarrassing daggers his wife was sending his way.

"Hello, I’m Mark McKenzie." He moved toward the attractive brunette and extended his hand.

Henderson took it and noted how cold it was. She looked into his face and immediately saw past the expensive suit. His skin was pale and his brown hair was graying in an unfavorable pattern. His trimmed goatee sat crooked flanking his mouth, too much growth on the right side causing his face to look…. unbalanced. He definitely tried to exude perfection but he was far from it. Her experience told her that this man had more than a few skeletons in his closet.

She wondered what Erin saw in him. Mark retrieved his hand and began scratching a pink spot just above his eyebrow. One cheek also had some redness to it and she figured it may be a skin condition.

She was right. He was one big flake in both senses.

Erin rubbed her face in a nervous gesture as the three stood in momentary silence. She was sure that Mark would be able to see right through her, that somehow the incredible surge of emotion and desire she had felt was written all over her face.

She cleared her throat. "This is Detective Henderson, we’re working a case together."

"Oh good." He said with the same smile. "Well I won’t keep you then."

Erin moved with him as he took off his jacket and headed toward the other wing of the house.

"What are you doing here Mark? You’re never home this early." He looked over his shoulder quickly and motioned for Erin to keep her voice down. He didn’t want their guest to hear the bickering.

"I’m flying out for Austin first thing tomorrow morning."

"Oh, another meeting?" She crossed her arms in defiance and raised her eyebrow. She allowed him to have his fun without interfering and now she wanted to have hers.

"Yes, several in fact. What’s with the attitude?" He was completely puzzled by her behavior.

Erin bit back her response when the doorbell rang. He waited as she answered the door and paid the young man for the pizza.

"You hungry?" She was already heading back into the living room ready to forget Mark and his interruption.

"No, I ate earlier." He rubbed the back of his neck not sure what to make of Erin. "If you’re worried about me interrupting this case you’re working on, don’t."

Erin turned to look at him as he continued.

"I’ll be gone for seven days and then in and out for the following week, so you’ll have the house to yourself for awhile."

Erin chewed on her lower lip trying very hard to bite back the cynicism that so badly wanted to prevail.

"Ok. Well have a good trip." She gave him a plastic smile and continued into the living room, thankful at the news of his impending absence.

She found Henderson still standing by the couch looking very pale.

"Sorry about that. I didn’t expect him home until much later." She retrieved plates and fished out a slice of the steaming pizza for Henderson.

Henderson took the plate and sat back down slowly, willing the wheels in her brain to start turning once again.

"You’re married." She knew this, always had. But it those two minutes of wild desire she had completely erased it from her mind.

"MMm" Erin mumbled in response as she chewed a bite of hot cheese. "I guess you could call it that."

They chewed on in silence for awhile and Henderson slowly started to feel better with the food in her stomach. She tried hard not to look at Erin’s mouth as she ate. It stirred up the animalistic feelings of wanton that hadn’t surfaced for years. She felt like a teenage boy sitting next to his first crush.

"Erin I need to apologize to you for my behavior earlier…I…uh..lost control and went beyond what is professional."

Erin took their plates and set them on the coffee table.

"You mean what almost happened, the kiss?" She wasn’t quite sure what was inappropriate.

"Yes, I should not have gone so far." Henderson looked helplessly down at her hands.

Erin sat closer to her on the couch. "I think I’m attracted to you Patricia, I know I am."

Henderson swallowed the lump in her throat and willed rational thought to stay with her. "You don’t know what you feel Mac. This is all very new to you and it will be a confusing time for you." She met the green eyes with her own and continued softly, "I just don’t want you to get in over your head. Imagine a woman you are attracted to undercover kissing you. Could you handle it?" She had to make Erin understand. "It’s not like with men Erin. It’s so much more intense and raw and emotional. You have to be ready for that."

"I guess there’s only one way to find out. You’ll have to kiss me."

Henderson looked at her in disbelief. She had awakened a sexual monster and it would be so easy to have her. To show her what making love truly meant. She envied and hated Mark McKenzie for taking such an incredible woman for granted.

"I should probably go for tonight. We both need to cool our heads and gain new perspective before we do something rash."

Erin suddenly felt like a fool. She had blatantly come on to her colleague. "I’m sorry, I’m just not thinking very clearly right now. I hope I didn’t offend you."

Henderson stopped her and took her hands as they stood facing one another. Her chest felt heavy and with every breath in she could feel Erin’s mixing with her own. "You didn’t do anything wrong. I understand more than you know." She leaned into her and placed a gentle warm kiss on Erin’s lips. The warmth from the kiss spread throughout her quickly and she instantly craved more. Her body screamed in defiance as she pulled away from Erin.

"I’m going now. You have a lot to think about." She glanced down the hall to where Mark had disappeared. "Maybe you should talk to your husband about the case and your feelings."

Erin let out a laugh and put her hands on her hips. "Yeah right."

"Some men are very accepting and even excited about the thought of their wife with another woman."

"It won’t be happening." Erin looked distraught and even annoyed at the thought. "He lives his own life and I live mine." She paused when she saw the surprised look on Henderson’s face. "We live on opposite ends of the house. I rarely see him."

Henderson looked at the beautiful woman before her and thought what a shame, what a waste of an incredible woman. She should be with someone who could love her completely.

"I’m sorry." Henderson said softly. "You deserve better."

"Someday I’ll leave him. I think maybe I’ve been waiting for my own reason to leave."

"I hope you find your reason Mac. You deserve happiness."

Silence fell between them and Erin felt almost shy at the raw emotion they had shared earlier.

"I guess I’ll see you tomorrow." Erin opened the front door for Henderson.

"You’re getting your haircut tomorrow aren’t you?" Henderson knew Erin was due to be made over the following day and Elizabeth Adams liked short hair. She was anxious to see what Erin would look like.

"Yeah, I’ll be in after my appointment to go over more information with you."

"Please go over the files I brought for you on Adams. I think they’ll be your best weapon in dealing with her."

"I will, thanks. Goodnight."

"Night." Henderson gave a warm smile and headed out into the warm desert night.

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