Barry paused behind his daughter, her abrupt halt catching him off guard. He sighed and gathered strength from his core, knowing that the road that lay ahead was going to be a difficult and painful challenge.

Susan’s eyes widened and her breathing slowed as she took in the visitor. Samantha had finally returned from her self-imposed exile. The redhead would see to it that the return was temporary. Very temporary. She feebly smiled at the dark-haired young woman and lifted her hand in greeting. Her arm felt heavy and her salutation was clearly not heartfelt.

Helen stiffened and grasped Allison possessively, bringing them closer. She watched the two former lovers gaze at each other with shared pain and desire. The lawyer’s jaw was set in a determined position; she didn’t like what she saw between the two young women. She got the distinct and painful feeling that they were still head over heels in love with each other.

The big man grinned at the all-around amazed reactions and grabbed his daughter’s shoulders, squeezing her to him. "Isn’t this great?" He turned to Sam and spoke awkwardly, gesturing more than signing. "Sam, we’re surprised to see you. I’m happy you’re here." He beamed brightly, hopeful for a reunion.

Sam stared at him blankly as if he was just air. She shrugged off his arm with indifference. Her face betrayed no acknowledgement as she turned to her aunt. "Hey, where’s Allen’s room?"

Julia ached at her niece’s unconcern and her friend’s hurt look. Barry was trying and Sam was just ignoring him as if he was some piece of furniture, not worthy of a second thought or action. The dark-haired young woman was being as obstinate as ever and Julia was growing tired of being party to this family debacle. She set her lips in a thin line and cocked her head to the right. "Third door."

Sam nodded and walked down the hallway, constraining her emotions. She entered the bleak and medium-lit hospital room and was taken aback at the sight before her. She knew that Allen was almost ten years old, but in her mind’s eye, he was still a sweet toddler.

The mischievous youth was replaced with a tall, thin blond boy. His hair was a shade lighter and all of his baby fat was gone. His skin was pale and his hospital gown only served to make him seem more vulnerable. Sam stepped silently to the bedside and grasped the dozing boy’s hand, stroking the back with her thumb. Regardless of what had happened all those years ago, Allen didn’t deserve to be in this position. What had happened to cause the boy to shoot his mother and his sister, then turn the gun on himself?

Sam’s thoughts reflected upon the blonde. She was older, her face was lined, and her hair was cut short and lightened. Allison was simply uglier and fatter than the last time Sam had seen her. She still seemed so anal-retentive, boring, dull, and idiotic. The blue-eyed woman smiled in gratitude, glad that she’d dumped Allison when she did.

Allen’s green eyes flitted open, focusing and adjusting to the visitor. Didn’t anyone listen to him around here? They were to stay out of his room. The boy took in his stepsister’s long black hair, her twinkling blue eyes, her crooked smile. He must be dreaming.

Sam reached over and tousled Allen’s limp hair. "Hey kid." She signed slowly and clearly.

A huge grin immediately broke across the youth’s face and he nearly undid all of his progress by attempting to jump out of bed and hug his stepsister. She chuckled—gosh, how he missed hearing her laugh. "Sammy!" The boy squealed, signing naturally.

"Oh, kid." Sam embraced her stepbrother gently. "You’re looking…" She surveyed the patient. "… good. Kind of shot, though." She winked as Allen grimaced. "What happened?"

"Don’t wanna talk about it." The brief glower on his face was replaced by a smile but then he wheezed, clutching his hand to his chest.

Sam surveyed the boy concernedly. She didn’t want to overexcite him. "It’s ok. Rest. We’ll catch up later."

Allen made a slight movement with his head, all he could muster. "Sit with me, Sammy."

"Of course." Sam took the boy’s hand, which still fit easily in her own. "Hey, I gotta tell you what happened on the way over here. My cab driver was this really weird guy and…"

*****

In the waiting room, Susan was fuming. The murderer had come back and her Beauregard didn’t seem one bit apologetic about her return! Samantha had made an attempt on her life and on Beau’s life and nobody seemed to care. The dumb deaf girl hadn’t even apologized. Her gray eyes narrowed as she watched her husband, the traitor, worry about Sam’s cold shoulder instead of fretting about how his own wife was feeling.

Allison rested her head on Helen’s chest and closed her eyes. Her heart beat euphorically, almost guiltily, in her chest. The blonde replayed Sam’s entrance in her mind. Her stepsister’s azure eyes had raged with unparalleled ferocity, but something else lurked in those swirling depths. Allison knew what it was—pain and bitterness, and maybe even some sort of love. If only…The dark-haired woman hadn’t changed except to become more hard and buff. Sam’s skin had tanned to a nice healthy glow and her muscles were more defined. The blonde’s heart swelled at the thought of Sam’s return. She was back and had seen her former lover in another woman’s arms. Sam now knew that at least one part of their break-up had been a lie.

Allison broke apart from Helen, not giving her lover a second thought, and strode down the hall with determination. She was going to resolve her differences with Sam. The way the taller woman had treated Barry spoke volumes.

Sam abruptly turned at the movement she detected from the corner of her eye. She straightened, halted her story, and stared down at the newcomer with coldness.

Allison smiled tentatively and nodded a greeting. "Hi Sam. Good to see you." She approached hesitantly, stopping at the foot of her son’s bed.

Sam squinted for a moment then smiled cruelly. "Oh, hi. Bad to see you. I didn’t recognize you before. You looked like two people, blimpy." She blinked and shook her head, holding up her hands in mistake. "I’m sorry! I mean, butterball." She shook her head again. "Oops, I was trying to say elephant. Where are my manners? You really are your mother’s daughter." Sam grinned as she critically surveyed her companion’s non-existent girth.

Allen laughed weakly at his stepsister’s mocking, encouraging her on. "Do you have residence in two states?" Sam’s eyes brightened. "Oh! Now it all makes sense. I noticed all those new restaurants and donut shops on my way from the airport. I thought there were too many for a town this size but you’re keeping them in business all by yourself, aren’t you? I feel sorry for the health food stores." She didn’t wait for the blonde to retort and turned her attention back to the patient.

Allison gasped indignantly but chose to find the positive aspect of the barrage. At least she’s speaking to me. She didn’t say one word to Barry. And Allen’s laughing. Her face fell in injury as soon the towhead signed.

"She’s right, piggy. You’re fat. Get outta here. I don’t wanna see you." Allen grinned at his co-conspirator, ignoring anything his ‘devoted mother’ would have to say.

Allison was stung at their remarks and swallowed her pride. Maybe it’s just a game. "You two can join the sumo wrestling team with me." She grinned, thinking her comeback had been a good one.

Sam and Allen both raised eyebrows at the blonde’s lame comment. The dark-haired woman cocked her head. "You could be ten whole sumo wrestlers by yourself." She returned her focus to Allen and icily ignored her stepsister.

Allison fought back tears. There was no mirth or playfulness in Sam’s steely blue eyes. The girl certainly knew Allison’s weakness, the subject that Susan constantly begrudged her daughter about. They just need time to heal. Allison left and headed directly for the ladies’ room down the corridor.

The bathroom was empty and had only five stalls and three sinks. The blonde splashed water on her face and rubbed her eyes, glad that she had privacy. She studied her reflection in the mirror. Her face certainly had seen better days. The strain of worry and lack of sleep was evident. Allison pulled up her shirt and surveyed her flat stomach and the beginnings of taut abdominal muscles. She smiled in satisfaction, dropping her shirt. Flexing her biceps in the mirror, the blonde concluded that she was most certainly not fat. Even if she was, Sam and Allen had no right to be making fun of overweight people. Fury rose in Allison and she closed her eyes, rubbing her pounding temples.

Sighing, Allison looked into the mirror once again and jumped back, a scream choking in her throat. The gruesome sight behind her in the mirror terrified her beyond description. Beady, rat-like eyes scurried over her body with an appreciative leer. A head was partially caved in and covered with a baseball cap. Brain matter slithered out, oozing a trail down the young man’s side.

Allison recognized her victim all too well and twirled around, clutching her purse, her heart hammering against her chest. Her frantic green eyes darted across the mirage’s body. Mickey wore a shirt that said: "Florida, here I come!" His sneer grew as the blonde’s terror intensified and finally he stepped forward, wiggling his grimy fingers. "You’re mine and you know it!" He cackled gleefully.

Thump! The bathroom door flung open and Mickey disappeared into thin air. Allison let out an ear-piercing scream and leaped into her mother’s arms.

Susan jumped back, hollering as well. "Allison Alexandra! Enough with the antics. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost! You thought I was one of your disgusting girlfriends, didn’t you? Which one was it? Samantha? Hannah? Jumping into their arms and making out in the bathroom like some…like some…kind of...disgusting creature? Get out of my sight!" She waved her hand dismissively and waddled into a stall. She slammed the door shut. "Allison, please depart. I don’t feel comfortable using the facilities with your kind in here."

Allison’s frenetic panting slowed and with two wildly trembling hands, she managed to open the bathroom door and rejoin the living. I didn’t really see him. I imagined it… feeling guilty about Sam’s return and all.

Susan sighed and proceeded about her business. She heard water running and she narrowed her eyes. She had told her daughter to leave, hadn’t she? She peered underneath the stall doors and saw a pair of scruffy tennis shoes squeaking and tapping on the floor. One of those disgusting indigents the hospital serves. Should just toss all of them out on their butts. Susan finally exited the stall after what seemed to be an inordinately long period. She was tired of waiting for the other person to leave. Her head turned from side to side in confusion. There was nobody in the ladies’ room, although she could have sworn she hadn’t heard the door open and close. She shrugged and proceeded to wash her hands.

*****

Barry sat down in the waiting room, tears running down his cheeks. "Oh, Jul. I can’t believe how callous she was! I mean, I know she’s mad but I thought that since she came back, she was ready to move on. She’s my daughter. It hurts to have her treat me like I…I don’t exist." He rubbed his eyes, willing the tears to stop.

Julia sighed and rubbed the big man’s back gently, shaking her head. "I’m disappointed in Sam. I hoped that you two would be able to make amends. I’ll talk to her again. Perhaps now that she’s here, it’ll be easier for me to convince her. It won’t hurt for you to try again, Barry." She noted with secret pleasure that Susan, newly returned from the bathroom, was squirming in her seat, uncomfortable with Julia’s familiarity and boldness. "I’m a parent too and it hurts like hell when your own kids act as if they hate you. Even when they’re only angry for a moment. Words like that aren’t taken back easily. But, Barry, you took away her family in two sentences. You kicked her out of your life with what you said. Some things you just can’t retract with a simple apology. You took sides too. You two need a good long talk."

The big man exhaled, staring at the wall opposite him. "Where do I start? It seems, no matter what I say, she just won’t listen. She doesn’t even seem sorry about causing Susan’s labor two months early. I’m afraid to do anything in the event that it’ll just drive her away again. Permanently. Baby steps or should I tackle this head-on?" He slammed a fist in the plastic seat next to him. "She’s here, isn’t she? She has to care a little bit. Or at least she’s not as angry as she was at first. That’s a good sign." Julia nodded encouragingly, letting her friend vent.

*****

Allison and Helen stood outside silently, leaning against the brick hospital exterior. The blonde wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the cool morning air. The lawyer studied her companion and sighed, finally venturing to break their tense silence. "You talk to Sam?" She spoke as neutrally as possible.

"Yes. She’s still mad at us all but Allen’s glad to see her and that’s all that matters. I hope Barry can work things out with her, at least to a degree." Allison allowed no emotion to enter her speech.

Helen nodded brusquely in return. The blonde noticed her lover’s stiff posture and clouded dark eyes. "I love you, Helen. I’m really glad you’re here." She buried her head in the taller woman’s chest and sighed contently.

Helen relaxed slightly. "I love you too, honey. I’m always here for you. Always." She wrapped her arms around the younger woman and embraced her tightly. They held each other comfortingly for a few minutes.

"Are you still going to tell Barry everything?" Helen fingered Allison’s hair.

The blonde sighed. "I’m not sure. We’ll see how things go. Maybe Sam will tell him. But I really don’t care anymore. I’m tired of all this crap. Momma and Oprah, Momma and Beau, everything!"

Helen furrowed her eyebrows and puckered her lips in quick thought. "Oprah? I don’t understand."

Allison exhaled a low breath. "Momma worships the ground Oprah walks on. Come on, let’s get some breakfast in the cafeteria."

*****

Allen finally fell asleep, against his best and most valiant efforts. For some time, Sam did not stir. She watched the boy as his chest heaved. He looked so small, so frail. And yet, only the day before, he had tried to kill himself, along with his mother and his sister. Was the situation at the Cannizarro home that bad? At least Allen was okay and seemed to be out of trouble. She could fly back to LA tonight if she so chose.

Guilt spread through Sam’s body as she thought of the abrupt way she had abandoned Allen, thrusting him in the snow without a second thought. And Corny… Sam stood and poured herself a glass of water.

According to Allen, the dog died happily about three years ago. "Don’t worry, Sammy," Allen said before his nap. "Corny and I took care of each other. He was a great dog." Up to his last day, he had still been barking and chasing ducks like the puppy he would always be. That night, he was limping and in obvious, great pain so the boy snuck the dog into the house. Corny went to sleep in Allen’s bedroom but never woke up. His body was cremated and the ashes scattered in Corny’s favorite swimming hole.

"Fuck." Sam swore under her breath and resisted the urge to smash the glass into thousands of pieces. She ran her fingers angrily through her long black hair. She had been so close to returning home more times than she could remember. And many mornings, she couldn’t get out of bed. She just lay there all day, depressed.

Allison. Allison. Allison. Allison. Allison. Allison. That single word ran through Sam’s brain incessantly for weeks at a time.

The hateful words, the snarl in her green eyes. Shit happens. Their relationship was a ruse. And now she was finding out that the woman she’d planned her future with, spent so many hours with, was just full of crap. Allison had lied through her teeth.

Unable to bear with the tormenting thoughts any longer, Sam stalked to the bathroom. She slammed the door furiously behind her. "I shouldn’t have come. Fuck! Fuck!" She smashed a fist into a tile wall, the pain and cracking in her hand barely registering.

For years, those words were blocked away in a part of Sam’s brain but now they reappeared and taunted her.

Sam fought hard against the tears she refused to let fall, imposing an iron control on herself. She’d thought she was over Allison. But the sight of her former lover, Miss ‘I Need a Real Man’ in another woman’s arms, was too much. Sam studied her reflection in the mirror slowly. "I’m not a blind fool in love anymore," she whispered. "And I’ll prove it."

Quickly, she left the bathroom, remembering that Allison’s birthday had recently passed. It wouldn’t hurt to get a belated present. An evil grin stayed on Sam’s face as she made a short trip to the shopping plaza across the street. Allison deserved every bit of what Sam planned to give her.

Returning to the hospital, Sam decided to find her aunt. The brunette was planning to stay for a few days, visit with Allen and Julia. Maybe she’d even swing by Paul’s new pad. A small boy standing next to the staircase on the sixth floor curiously studied Sam as she disembarked the elevator, a huge smirk on her features. A glimmer of recognition entered his gray eyes and he gritted his teeth.

"Murderer!" Beau cried and ran pell-mell like a bull, his head down, as he charged towards his half-sister. Sam was only semi-outside of the elevator when the boy’s teeth clamped squarely into her lower leg. Beau bit deeply and painfully.

Sam yelped, the boy and the bite catching her totally by surprise. Angrily, she jerked the boy by his shirt and snapped his body horizontal to her chest, but her wrath paused as she did a double take. He looked just like Lucas except for his truculent gray eyes. Beau’s feet flailed wildly and his small but persistent fists punched empty air. "Murderer!" He stuck his tongue out then poked his fingers in his ears. Then Beau used his hands to imitate sign language gibberish.

Sam blinked as her confusion dissipated. She had not asked, and Julia had not told her, the sex and the name of her father and stepmother’s baby. Sam uttered a low, inhuman snarl, her teeth gnashing against each other. Beau’s gray eyes widened fearfully as a warm dampness spread across his crotch. Both Cannizarros looked at the stain in disgust as Sam promptly crashed her half-brother back on the floor.

Beau let out a whoop, landing on his feet with a thump. "That was cool! Again!"

Sam simply threw a look of contempt in the tot’s direction and resumed her course to the waiting room. He chased after her and tugged on her jeans eagerly. "Again! Take me up! Fun!" He mouthed the words exaggeratedly.

The dark-haired woman shoved the boy aside roughly and strode into the mostly full waiting room. Julia sat with Barry but Susan was noticeably absent.

"Daddy!" Beau yipped excitedly and ran to his father. "Tell her I wanna do again!"

Barry studied his son’s wet pants. "What happened?"

"It cool! She picked me up." Beau pointed to Sam animatedly.

Barry grinned and waved for Sam’s attention, glad to see his daughter and his son getting along. But of course, she ignored him. Instead, she looked at her aunt. Julia grimaced and signed to her niece. "I see you’ve met your brother."

Sam shrugged. "Guess so. Looks like he learned his manners from the bitch and from the bitch’s bitch."

Julia shot her niece a warning look. "Beau’s a cutie, don’t you think?" Julia motioned Beau over for proper introductions.

"Beauregard!" Susan fled weeping from the hallway, collapsing next to her husband. "Allen Alexander doesn’t want to see me! His own mother! I just tried to see him and… and… my boy!" She sniffled and ensconced Beau in her lap.

"Oh, Susie." Barry held his wife and their son and allowed her to cry. "Shh. Give Allen time."

Julia rolled her eyes and tilted her head. "Let’s get a drink in the cafeteria, Sam."

The two tall women headed for the elevator and found themselves alone in the compartment, descending to the cafeteria. "Shouldn’t you be going home for a rest?" Sam asked her aunt.

"I am, soon. You should come with me, rest up too." Julia smiled wearily. "Your father’s having a tough time. Especially since you’re ignoring him."

"Ignoring who?"

Julia scoffed and shook her head. "Sam—"

"No. No." Sam looked at her aunt seriously. "He told me not to come back until I apologized for hitting Susan. Well, I’m not apologizing." She crossed her arms defiantly.

Julia groaned. "I’m too tired to deal with this." The elevator doors opened and the two passengers got into line for breakfast.

"Let’s sit with Allison and Helen." The older woman indicated a corner table in the back.

Sam scowled. "Is that her name?" She studied Helen closely. "I remember her. She works with the bastard." Thank the Gods I’m not with Allison anymore. She looks horrible.

Julia seemed to read Sam’s thoughts. "Allison’s been here since yesterday afternoon."

"Why did Allen go off on that shooting spree anyway?" Sam’s brows furrowed in puzzlement as she heaped donuts upon donuts on her breakfast platter. She considered and added a few chocolate muffins for good measure.

"Everyone’s wondering that." Julia and Sam weaved through the tables towards Allison and Helen.

"Mind if we join you?" Julia smiled warmly at the blonde.

Despite her earlier statements, Allison’s green eyes brightened upon the sight of Sam. "Sure." She welcomed the newcomers and gestured for them to sit.

Helen purposefully covered Allison’s hand with her own, getting the message across that the blonde was her lover, and hers only. Julia set to work on her plate while Sam shoved hers across to the blonde.

"I figured you’d need fortifications by now." Sam struggled to maintain an even, conciliatory tone. "I hope those 50 donuts are enough."

Allison gasped and pushed the plate away. "That’s not nice!"

"Aww." Sam pouted and stomped her fist on the table. "Poor bitchy baby."

Julia pushed her chair back and stood abruptly. She glowered warningly at her niece. "I’m going home now since we can’t get along like adults. You know where I live." She turned on her heels and left the cafeteria.

Sam thought about following her aunt, but decided against it. She was having too much fun. The taller woman returned her attention to her stepsister. "Do you need more donuts?" Her unflinching blue eyes widened in concern. "I’ll get you more. 25 should do it, piggy."

Allison’s chin quivered and she clutched Helen’s hand. "Sam’s being mean." The blonde spoke through her teeth, not signing for her deaf companion.

"What’s she saying?" Helen studied her lover concernedly but Allison stayed silent.

"I got you a birthday gift." Sam grinned easily and slid a gift certificate out of her pocket. "It’s a bit late but…" She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Thank you, Sam." Allison smiled genuinely. She took the present happily and drew out a piece of paper from the envelope. She stared at the $25 certificate to a BIG AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN’S CLOTHING STORE. The word "beautiful" was crossed out with black ink.

Sam strove to explain, laughing inwardly at the blonde’s dismayed reaction. "Yeah, I know. I couldn’t find a BIG AND UGLY store so that’ll have to do. Hey, I thought about going to a camping store ‘cause, well…" She studied the younger woman critically. "You probably wear tents, don’t ya?"

Allison plastered a fake smile on her face. She knew Sam must be hurting. The blonde leaned towards her stepsister and signed earnestly, not voicing for Helen. "I never meant to hurt you, Sam. I can explain—"

"Don’t bother." Sam cut in rudely, signing gratefully. "Breaking up with me was the best thing you ever did for me. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." Sam placed her hand over her chest sincerely and emphatically. "Whoo! You were really holding me back. I finally got to see the world. Got to travel, have fun." The brunette grinned happily. "You were so anal and boring. I’ve met so many exciting women, if you get my drift." Sam winked. "Let me tell you something. It’s true what they say about older, experienced women."

Allison leaned back haughtily. Two could play this game and she had the perfect retort. "Oh, I know, Sam. Have you met Helen?" She smirked, indicating her current lover.

Sam wasn’t fazed by her slip-up. "Actually, you remind me of someone. Who… oh yeah, your mother. Social-climbing gold digger. Like mother, like daughter. What’s Helen’s net worth, huh? She buy you cars and a nice house, clothes? I bet you don’t really love her. You’re just after her money. What did you do to get her? Knock her over the head and drag her home? She’s the only one who will have you ‘cause you’re so fat and ugly, not to mention you’re lousy company. Tsk. Shame." Sam sighed regretfully, the shocked look on Allison’s face egging her on. "But let’s not dwell on your inadequacies, however plentiful. Hey, eat up! There’s always lots more coming." Sam chuckled cheerfully and bit into a donut.

Allison’s face curled into anger. The blonde’s mouth opened for a retort but the blue-eyed woman beat her to the punch. "Hey, it’s only one donut. Geez! Calm down, will ya, blimpy? I put in a special order for you. Mmm. Let me show ya something." An idea occurred to Sam as she remembered the blonde’s desire to have many children. She whipped out her wallet and extracted a picture for Allison’s viewing. "My daughter Casey."

Allison took the photo numbly, still reeling from the earlier barrage. Sam had never spoken so many words in a single sitting. Sam’s a mother? The smiling toddler in the picture was about a year old, with chestnut brown hair and pretty blue eyes.

Sam proceeded proudly. "Actually, she was born before I met Christine but I just love Casey to death. She’s fifteen months old now. I just love being a mother. Casey’s first word was ‘mama’ and she pointed at me. She signs so well. Better than that mimicking you do. When Casey—oh! I must tell you about Christine. She signs so well. Her parents are deaf so she knows very well the deaf experience. I don’t drag her down at all. She is sooo good in bed, just great. Like a human pretzel. She’s beautiful, sexy, and intelligent. Everything you would want in a woman and more. Hot mama! She’s a professional model and graduated from Stanford Law. We stay up all night talking about anything. She is so understanding and wonderful."

Sam tossed her raven hair over her shoulders in a gesture of defiance, enjoying the blonde’s reaction. Allison’s jaw set and her back stiffened. Pent-up pain shone through in her green eyes. She took a deep breath punctuated with stifled tears.

Sam decided to add insult to injury. "She and I are going to be together for the rest of our lives. She’s my soul mate. Casey has our blue eyes, see? She is the perfect combination of me and Christine. I wouldn’t have it any other way. So sweet and darling! Christine is, right now, pregnant with our second child but I’m gonna have the third. We plan on having eight children. Maybe more. Kids! Can’t live without ‘em." She shook her head bemusedly, smiling inwardly at the sight of Allison furiously crushing Helen’s hand with her own. "So, enough about me. What about you two?" She flashed a benign grin. "From your size, tubby, I guess you’ve a houseful of kids. Bet your dresses are bigger than the house." Sam showed no signs of relenting.

Allison jerked her hand off Helen’s and propelled her chair back. She slammed the picture of Casey down on the table and stood, her green eyes narrowed into glittering slits of fury. Slowly, murderously, the blonde stepped around the table and towered over her smirking stepsister.

Allison, without flinching, boldly met Sam’s provoking and challenging blue gaze. The brunette smiled mockingly, daring the blonde with her eyes. Allison permitted herself a withering, scalding stare that let Sam know exactly how she felt. Her green eyes clawed Sam like talons as she seethed with mounting rage. All she wanted to do was wipe the smug imprint off the irritating woman’s face.

Helen watched the scene with horror, especially since she had no idea what Sam had said. The lawyer stood, ready to intervene.

Allison drew her hand back and with all of her might, brought her palm around. The blonde’s hand and Sam’s cheek connected solidly with a sickening popping of flesh on flesh, leaving an angry red mark. Without further ado, Allison turned on her heels and stormed across the cafeteria.

Sam, tight-lipped, watched the blonde go. She’d deserved the slap; she knew that. At least the smack had been worth the trouble.

Helen glared at the blue-eyed woman and chased after her lover, stopping her just inside the cafeteria entrance. "What did Sam say?" The lawyer spoke breathlessly.

Allison’s chin was set and tears were the furthest thing from her mind. All she wanted to do was punch her stepsister. "She called me tubby. Piggy. And that’s only the beginning."

Helen snorted at the dark-haired woman’s childish immaturity and ire rose in her. Passionately, the lawyer trotted back to the table. Sam sat complacently, provokingly, in her chair, as if she didn’t have a care in the world, and watched Helen approach. The lawyer wouldn’t dare hit her.

Helen slapped Sam mightily on her other cheek and grinned self-righteously, placing her hands on her hips. The taller woman let out a howl of rage and leaped from her chair. The ho had no right hitting her! Snarling, Sam slammed her fist against her opponent, bloodying the dark woman’s nose.

"Bitch!" Helen screamed from her position on the floor at Sam’s feet as the feral look in Sam’s blue eyes skyrocketed. The younger woman grabbed the dusky lawyer’s shirt collar and sent her flying onto a bench.

Allison shoved past Sam and rushed to her injured lover. Sam grinned in self-satisfaction, congratulating herself on a job well done. That would teach the bitches to leave Samantha Cannizarro alone. She wiped her hands on her jeans and began to stalk out of the cafeteria, but she didn’t get far.

"Samantha!" Julia Julian grabbed her niece’s ear and hauled Sam by the earlobe through the hospital and to the older woman’s car in the parking lot. Julia finally let go of her niece once they were outside. "What the fuck are you doing?" She noted an angry handprint on each cheek and surmised that her niece had received a slapping at the hands of either Helen or Allison.

"She started it!" Sam cried accusingly towards the hospital, holding her ear in pain. "Allison and Helen slapped me, see?" She indicated the two pink marks on her cheeks defensively. "What’s up with that shit, pulling me by the ear?"

"If you’re going to act like a three-year-old, I’m gonna treat you like one! I leave for five minutes, feel bad and come back. And what do I see? You and Helen fighting! Don’t swear like that." She waggled a finger in her niece’s face, scowling.

"They started it!" Sam repeated her plea. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Enough! Enough!" Julia propelled Sam in the car and drove angrily to the Julian house. By the time they had arrived fifteen minutes later, the older woman’s fury had not abated.

She grasped her niece by the ear again and hauled her into the living room. "Grow up, Sam! Be mature!" Julia fingerspelled the last word exaggeratedly. "You’re just a big baby! Always running away from your problems."

"You fucking cunt!" Sam had a half-mind to smash her aunt’s TV in smithereens but thought better of it. "You told me to come! You knew I might see the bitch’s bitch!" She arched into a defensive position, ready to do battle.

Julia’s eyes narrowed lethally. "Do not call me a cunt. Apologize."

Sam simply stared haughtily at her aunt and crossed her arms disobediently.

"You are twenty-three years old, Samantha! Not three! I know what you’ve been doing, taunting Allison with those fat jokes. If I recall correctly, you told me before that you were over her. That you’d never really loved her."

"That’s very true." Sam shrugged coolly. "She’s so retarded."

"Bullshit!" Julia pushed her niece on the couch and proceeded to sign at a furious pace. "You can’t even be civil to her. You’re still head over heels in love with her. No!" Julia shoved Sam’s protesting hand away. "Let me tell you something. She loves you too. She always did. She made a mistake—I don’t know why exactly, but give her a chance to explain. Go to her and work things out! At least do something for the family’s sake. She’s with Helen, yes, but only because you’re too stubborn and prideful to come back! If you had behaved just a bit more maturely today, you two might be back together."

"I don’t have to listen to this crap!" Sam leaped nimbly from the couch and glared daggers at her aunt. "You can’t tell me what to do, anyway. You’re not my mother!"

Sam stared at Julia as the older woman gulped, visibly stung. Glistening tears slowly found their way down her cheeks. "I’m not?" She whispered, then pulled herself to her full height, almost looking her niece in the eye. "Who took care of you when Norene and Lucas died when Barry couldn’t? Huh? Who explained to you about the monthly female curse? Who took you in willingly when you came in crying your broken heart out one January day? Who took care of you then? Who learned sign language for you? Who loves you no matter what? Gay or straight, troublemaker or not? I never judged you, unlike Barry. I respected your wishes against my better judgment for the past four years and did not breathe a word to anyone about where you were! Barry was too flexible raising you. He lets you get away with too much! I’ve always tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to be more involved in your life, Samantha, after Norene died, but you shut me out. I’m sorry, okay?" Julia turned her back to her niece as the sobs heaved harder. "I made a mistake! Let me tell you something."

The older woman inhaled deeply, biting back more tears. If what she was saying caused Sam to run out and add Julia to her list of ‘dead’ family members, so be it. "I may not have given birth to you, and I may not have raised you, but I love you and worry about you constantly like you were my own. How dare you say I’m not your mother!" Julia screamed and slapped Sam. "Someone needs to knock some sense into that head of yours! If you don’t work through your anger, you’re going nowhere in life. You will die lonely and bitter!"

Sam clutched her cheek in pain, although the emotional impact shattered her more.

"I visited you in New York often and flew to LA a couple times to see you! I certainly didn’t have to. And I could have bawled you out for putting Beau in danger and all that sleeping around you do! You think it’s cool? It’s not! You’re a slut! I pray every day that you don’t get a sexually transmitted disease. I think it’s pathetic the way you won’t face up and listen to your heart. If you even have one left by now!" The older woman quieted, fully expecting her niece to turn on her heels and storm out of her life. "Stop running away, Samantha!"

Sam’s chin quivered and she lowered her gaze. "I’m sorry." Frustration filled her whole being. "I… I…" She looked at her aunt with teary eyes. "I always wished you could be my mother. I was so jealous of Jules and Juliette. I wanted to come live with you so many times when I was younger but I was always too scared to ask… oh Aunt Julia. I have to run away, don’t you see? Because every time I stay and try to build a life, something happens! What’s the point?" Her breathing came in quick gasps and abruptly, she turned to flee the house, but Julia grabbed her arm. She pulled her niece to her and held her fiercely, allowing their tears to fall freely.

*****

Sam woke up from her nap completely drained. The brief snooze had not rejuvenated her. The dark-haired woman sighed and peeked into her aunt’s bedroom. Julia was still sound asleep, and by the looks of her, wouldn’t be up for a while yet. Sam plodded to the bathroom and washed up a bit. Her eyes weren’t red anymore, although they remained slightly puffy. She didn’t want to admit it, but her aunt was absolutely right. She needed to stop running away. She needed to face her problems. Allen hadn’t, and look where he was now.

After washing up and eating a small late afternoon lunch, Sam felt much better, more energetic. She had two things to do today: stop by the mall and get Allen that video game system that he was so crazy about, then find Allison and Barry. Somehow she would try her best to remain civil. Perhaps they could come to some sort of understanding, at least for Allen’s sake.

Sam jotted a note for her aunt, leaving it on the kitchen counter. Took the car—I’ll be careful. See you at the hospital.

On her way to the mall, the dark-haired woman practiced her approach. Her father would be easier to deal with than Allison. His anger and dismissal of her was more understandable. Sam parked the car and wasted no time in buying the video set and a few games for her stepbrother. Soon, she found herself at the hospital, without a plan in mind. She sighed, deciding to play it by ear.

She grasped the handles of the oversized plastic bag and maintained a confident, reassured stride into the lobby. I will do this. I will do this. I will be mature and civil, no matter what. Think of Allen. You don’t want him to end up like you. Exactly.

She gripped her fists resolutely and pressed the up button on the elevator, gazing out the huge windows of the lobby. A sleek BMW pulled up to the curb, and Sam’s heart clamped when she realized Helen was the driver and Allison the passenger.

The dark-haired woman’s resolve flew out the window and her wrath and fury multiplied exponentially as Helen and Allison swapped their filthy germs. The bitch’s tongue slobbered all over the ho’s face, and the ho was pawing the bitch and honking her tits. Enraged, Sam turned from the window and stifled the impulse to just beat both women to a pulp. If she couldn’t have Allison, Helen sure as hell couldn’t, either.

"You sure you’re ok?" Allison eyed her lover’s bandaged nose critically.

"I’m fine, baby. I really do need to get some work done this afternoon." Helen winced in pain as something accidentally poked into her back. "Is Sam always this immature?"

Allison rolled her eyes. "Apparently she is. Like I said before, I’m not gonna worry about her anymore. I’m going to focus on us and Allen. I’m so glad he’ll be okay." She grinned slyly, running her finger over the length of Helen’s thigh. "We need to practice making our kids," she whispered.

"Ah, ah. Keep your hands to yourself." Helen grinned, forcing the blonde to temporarily abandon her effort. "I’ll be back soon, okay? Two or three hours, max."

"I miss you already." Allison brushed Helen’s lips against hers, being purposefully gentle as to not aggravate the injury. "I love you, Helen."

"Right back at ya." Helen squeezed her lover’s hand. "Get out already and see your son."

"My son." The phrase brought an automatic smile to the blonde’s face. "Do you really think we can get—"

"Yes." Helen interrupted firmly and restarted the engine. "Don’t worry so much."

"Okay." Allison grinned and stepped out of the car, forgetting her purse in the backseat of the car. As Helen drove away, the blonde’s thoughts shifted not to her son, but to her stepsister. Her anger had abated quickly, although she knew Sam could have dealt with her problems in a more civilized fashion. The dark-haired woman was in tremendous pain, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

Allison sighed, thrusting her hands into her pockets, as she walked through the lobby doors. She and Sam would never get along again, and for a very simple reason. Sam hated her guts.

The younger woman braced herself when she sighted her stepsister waiting for an elevator. Sam hadn’t seen her, and was tapping her foot nonchalantly as the elevator lumbered downward to the lobby.

Allison hesitated, wondering if she should hide and wait for the next ride or take the stairs. No. That’s immature. The blonde took small steps in Sam’s direction and acknowledged the blue-eyed woman with trepidation. "Hi." Allison smiled slightly.

Sam smiled back warmly. Time for the fireworks. "Hi." She set the bag on the floor. "Are you and Helen okay? I’m sorry about overreacting."

Allison did a surprised double-take, fumbling for an answer. "Helen’s nose isn’t broken."

Sam heaved a relieved sigh. "Great. I was so worried."

The blonde grinned ear-to-ear at the sudden change in her stepsister’s mood. Maybe there was room for some sort of truce after all. "I’m sorry about slapping you, Sam." Allison peered hopefully into Sam’s gorgeous blue eyes, fighting the urge to drown in them.

The taller woman shrugged it off. "No biggie. So, did you go home and take a breather?"

"Yeah." Allison still couldn’t get over the recent turn of events. Sam was back, and she was being extremely reasonable. She just needed to get over the shock of everything.

"Are you staying at your aunt’s?"

Sam nodded in affirmation. "Yep. See what I got for Allen?" She handed the bag to Allison. "He was jabbering on and on this morning about that system."

The blonde surveyed the contents of the bag; Sam must have spent over five hundred dollars. Allison was planning to get Allen the set for his birthday or for Christmas, instead of now, because he already had so much, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt. "Wow. Impressive. He’ll love it." She grinned happily. "Allen’s overjoyed to see you."

Sam flashed her trademark devastatingly irresistible grin. "I’m glad to see him too. I’m sorry it took such a…" She swallowed, not used to sharing her feelings, but such disclosure was necessary for the performance. "Such a tragedy for me to come back." She met Allison’s light green eyes directly. "Why did he shoot y’all?" Automatically, Sam brushed a wayward strand of hair out of her stepsister’s eyes.

The blonde’s knees trembled under the intense gaze as her heart struggled to break free. Passionate and emotional words tumbled out of her mouth, bypassing her censoring brain. "Oh, Sam, Sam. I miss you so much." Allison flinched immediately after finishing her statement, fully anticipating a razor-like glare and total silence from her former lover.

The dark-haired woman sighed and cast her gaze downward, concealing her disgust at the filthy lies the slut was spewing. When she looked up again, the pain and the tears in her blue eyes were undeniable and not part of any performance. Slowly, she forced herself to stay with the program and to not blow her temper again. "Alli…"

The blonde’s heart melted at the simple endearment. Sam was the only person who called her Alli. She reached for her stepsister’s hand and grasped it firmly, never wanting to let go. Sam sighed, feigning contentment at the snug and still perfect fit.

The elevator arrived and the blue-eyed woman practically dragged her stepsister inside, ensuring they were alone. Once the doors closed, Sam immediately jammed the buttons, effectively rendering their ride to the sixth floor temporarily incapacitated. They were stuck and not going anywhere for a few minutes.

The brunette pulled Allison roughly, almost violently, to her. Crushing the blonde to her, Sam pressed her lips to the shorter woman’s and took her mouth with a savage intensity. She forced Allison’s mouth open with her thrusting tongue as both their loins burned with fire.

"Oh, Sam!" Allison trailed off in ecstasy as Sam deftly undid the buttons of her jeans whilst her mouth furiously ravished Allison’s neck, leaving love marks.

Sam and Allison were completely caught up in the throes of passion as the brunette’s fingers grasped the slick wetness of the blonde’s throbbing sex. Blood pounded in Allison’s brain, leapt from her heart, and made her knees tremble. She all too willingly succumbed to the forceful domination of her body, her emotions whirling and skidding as pleasure radiated outward.

Sam’s fingers searched entry and an aching Allison parted her legs. She clenched the dark-haired woman’s hand, cramming her fingers into the extremely slick and lubricated recesses of her body. "Oh God!" Allison thrust her pelvis back and forth, releasing years of pent-up frustration. She climbed towards an orgasm as sensations ripped through her body, sending her to dizzying heights. Sam massaged the swollen nub while gripping Allison’s back tightly.

The dark-haired woman changed gears abruptly and fell to her knees, jerking Allison’s pants around her lower legs. Her mouth sucked savagely on the mightily aroused young woman’s swollen clit, riding her to a powerful orgasm.

Allison forced herself against Sam’s raw and unadulterated passion, pulling the taller woman up to her. Her hands, even the one attached to the injured arm, fought to undo the dark-haired woman’s buttons and zippers. The blonde so desperately ached and needed to feel Sam’s luscious breasts and coarse vagina. Even Sam had no luck in pulling Allison off her and instead ran her hands down the blonde’s buttocks and pressed their bodies together.

The elevator squeaked slightly, then moaned loudly as it suddenly resumed its upward course. Allison yelped and leaped from the floor, frantically working to correct her disheveled appearance.

Sam watched the blonde, a medley of extreme feelings swirling through her. Despite the original intents of her plan, she wanted nothing more but to finish what she had started, to spend the rest of her life with Allison. But then Helen and memories of the past kicked her squarely in the gut. She smoothed her rumpled clothes and patted down her silky black hair, conspicuously tossing her heart’s advice into the trash.

By the third floor, Allison managed to throw together a reasonable appearance of composure but couldn’t stop herself from jumping into Sam’s arms and squeezing her tightly, fiercely. "Oh, Sam. I’m so happy we’re back together." She signed excitedly, wanting nothing more in the world than to be with the brunette for eternity.

"Slut. You little whore." Sam’s words bit through Allison’s consciousness like a thousand shards of sharp ice. The smug look returned to her face.

"What?" Allison’s jaw dropped open and her green eyes widened in shock.

Sam groaned as the elevator creaked onto the sixth floor. "You’ll fuck anything that moves. You were making out with Helen, what, ten minutes ago?"

"No!" Allison yelped, feeling as if she was being slapped. "I thought we were—"

Sam cackled evilly. "No way in hell! I’ve met my soul mate and have a kid with her, remember? You little homewrecker! Even if I didn’t, what would I want with you, fatty?"

Tears sprang to Allison’s green eyes as the full force of shock and betrayal set in. "Then you’re a slut too! Fuck you!"

"At least I admit it. Well, doesn’t feel so nice, does it? You wish. In your dreams, I’d fuck you, over and over again, huh? Just close your eyes when you’re with Helen and imagine that it’s me on top. You’ll open your eyes, screaming my name and see her hurt face, knowing that I was ten times better. You could have had me." Sam smirked. "Too late. Shit happens." She stepped grandly off the elevator, the pained and distraught expression on Allison’s face hurting more than humoring her.

The brunette was surprised to see Helen standing near the bank of elevators, but immediately took advantage of the situation. As the startled Helen’s chocolate brown eyes met Sam’s vengeful blue eyes, the younger woman slowly and sensually brought her hand to her mouth. Sam’s hands were still wet, her fingers covered with Allison’s juices.

The taller woman smirked, suckling on each finger and exaggeratedly savoring the taste.

Confused, Helen studied the scene and glimpsed Allison, standing dazed and shocked in the back of the elevator. The blonde stared horrifically at Sam. Her light hair was slightly rumpled and her face was flushed with the pleasure of recent sex. Helen could smell the blonde’s scent on Sam and her blood boiled with rage.

"Oh, no." Helen whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. "Oh, no. You didn’t, Allison."

The blonde’s gaze jerked in Helen’s direction and her green eyes widened in guilt. The elevator doors promptly closed, transporting Allison upward.

Sam approached Helen, standing only inches away. Thoroughly enjoying the lawyer’s bewildered reaction, the younger woman smacked her lips. "Mmm." She made the thumbs-up sign and winked at Helen.

Helen narrowed her eyes but kept her anger in check. She glanced upwards to see which floor the elevator had stopped on, but there wasn’t an indicator. Her heart hammered furiously against her ribcage as she studied the hugely sneering woman in front of her. Finally, Helen remembered what she had come for—Allison had forgotten her purse. Emitting a low rumble, the lawyer shoved past Sam with all her might and stalked to the staircase.

Helen wasn’t sure if she should just leave or try to find Allison, but either way, their relationship was over.

*****

Sam ducked into the bathroom before stopping in to visit her stepbrother. All of her previous smugness and pride from the victory was gone, and she wanted nothing more but to leave and get the hell out of this cow town. She scrubbed her hands with soap then vigorously dried them. She splashed some water into her mouth and gargled.

"Sammy." Allen’s eyes lit up as soon as his tall, raven-haired stepsister entered.

"Hey." Sam smiled, trying to appear causal and nonchalant. "You’re looking great." She surveyed the array of machines dotting the room.

"Yeah." The boy grinned happily. "Mostly thanks to you. What’s that?" He peered curiously at the gigantic bag from his favorite toy store.

Sam proffered the bag. "Something to keep you busy."

"Cool!" Allen crowed as he weakly extracted the video game system and the three cartridges. "Can you hook it up? We’ll play!"

"Sure." Sam’s mouth curved upwards, although she definitely didn’t share the boy’s enthusiasm. "Allen… I’m flying back to LA tonight or early tomorrow." She made the decision right then and there.

"LA?" His brows furrowed. "Do you have to? No!" Angrily, he yanked a tube out of his wrist. "No! You can’t leave me here. Take me with you!" He implored her with round green eyes.

Sam sighed and patted the towhead’s leg. "You can visit me. Hell, I’ll come back and visit sometime this summer. Maybe for your birthday. Okay?"

Allen sniffled miserably. "No. I can’t live here anymore, with them."

"Why not?"

The boy tilted his head, demonstrating his reluctance to talk. "Don’t wanna."

"You shot your mother and your sister, then yourself. Why? Tell me!" Sam forced the youth to look at her.

"Don’t wanna talk about it." Allen glowered at his stepsister, wondering if she really cared. "As if you give a shit."

Sam’s blue eyes widened disapprovingly. "I do."

"No you don’t. You left me." Allen studied her with grave finality.

"I’m not leaving you this time. You’ll visit. I’ll visit. Okay?" Sam kissed her companion’s quivery forehead gently.

"What if they don’t let me?"

"I’ll make sure they do." Sam grinned and pressed her finger to Allen’s lips. "Don’t be so glum. Let’s play some games."

*****

Allison slouched into a corner somewhere in the hospital. She didn’t quite know where she was but she didn’t care. All she could see in her mind was a jumble of images, each strikingly clear.

Sam’s tearful and pained expression over four years ago. The same expression today.

The shock, astonishment, and hurt in Helen’s eyes and in her voice.

Allen snarling. I hate you.

The owl and Mickey’s vacant, bloody gaze.

Susan and her whiny twittering. Me. Me. Me.

The blonde sat in the corner for quite a while, feeling lower than a clump of rat feces. Despite her best efforts, everything had blown up in her face. Allen’s life was screwed. Sam’s life was screwed. So was Barry’s, Beau’s, probably Helen’s, her own. And all because of Allison Albrecht. The list went on and on. No matter how hard she tried, she failed. Mickey was dead because of her. She was just an awful person.

Allison stared numbly at a nonexistent stain on the floor before a raspy voice jerked her out of her reverie. "Fucking dyke bitch, eh? Told ya she was bad news."

Allison puckered her lips together and willed herself not to look in the voice’s direction.

She was just hearing things out of guilt. Finally, she hauled herself up and decided to find Allen. Maybe he would be willing to see her now.

*****

Sam took note of her stepbrother’s drooping eyelids and put an end to their gaming session. "Get some rest, kid." She tousled his strawberry blond hair.

Allen shook his head defiantly. "You’ll be gone when I wake up."

Sam sighed, not knowing what to say. "I’ll visit next month, okay? And before I leave, I’ll talk to Mr. and Mrs. Cannizarro about you coming out to see me."

Her presence undetected, Allison stood silently at the window dividing the hallway from Allen’s room. She stared at the two people in the world that she loved the most, yet they hated her with such passion. Her heart wrenched at the words that her son signed.

Allen giggled at the formal terms, then remembered he was supposed to be angry with everyone except Sam. "I know why you left, Sammy. I’m mad at Al ‘cause of that."

Sam arched a dark eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"I hate her like you do. We both loved her but she played with our feelings." Allen sunk back gloomily.

Allison chewed her lower lip, her hands balled into fists. She was angry at herself for being weak and for allowing her mother to hurt two innocent people in her crusade for status and wealth.

Sam covered Allen’s hand with her own, surprised that he actually knew the truth behind her departure. "What do you mean? How did she hurt you?"

"Same way she hurt you. She lied to me about everything. I’ll never forgive her. She’s a stupid fat pig."

Sam chuckled and stood up. "Give her a break, Allen. She loves you. I know that for a fact, and whatever the problem is, try to put it behind you. I’ve never seen a sister care for her brother so much. Back at military school, then when I went off to college, when she e-mailed me, you were all she could talk about. How wonderful and smart you were. And she was right. You’re a wonderful guy, Allen." Sam patted the boy’s shoulder. "You’re lucky to have your sister. People make mistakes and you just have to forgive and forget. Take it from someone who learned the hard way." Sam decided to ask once again. "What was so bad that you had to shoot her and try to kill yourself?"

Allison’s head bent to the side as she watched her stepsister’s commentary. After the events of the past day and barely being civil to Allison, the dark-haired woman was actually encouraging Allen to forgive and forget. Her stomach unclenched and she allowed a smile to grace her features. The blonde was glad that in spite of everything, Sam hadn’t chosen to use the young boy as a pawn in her quest for revenge.

"Don’t wanna talk about it. Not even with the therapist." Allen avoided his stepsister’s gaze again and his eyelids became heavy with sleep.

"Okay. If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen." Sam kissed his forehead and tucked the covers over his thin body. "Sleep well."

She picked up a pad of paper and a pen from the nightstand and began writing.

Sam folded the paper and stuck it in her pocket. She kissed the tip of Allen’s head once more then left the room. Allison ducked behind a corner and remained unseen by her stepsister. Sam walked into the waiting room and spied her father scowling at her stepmother. Sighing, she strode to the big man and stuck the paper in his face.

Barry grinned; his daughter was actually conversing with him. He read the note. It was short and to the point. The big man gulped and squeezed Sam’s shoulder. "You’re not leaving now, sweetheart?" He shook his head emphatically. "I’m sorry." He fisted his hand and made circles on his chest. "I’m sorry."

Sam stared at the man haughtily; Barry was hurt even more by his daughter’s neutral expression. Without further ado, she turned on her heels and strode to the staircase. Barry chased after her, but even outside, she would not acknowledge him. With a heavy heart, the big man watched Sam climb into Julia’s car. Whatever had he done to alienate her so?

*****

Allison turned away from the window, readying herself to visit the boy. Helen stood towering over her, an angry and hurt expression on her face, and Allison jerked back in surprise. "Helen! I didn’t know you were here."

Helen’s shoulders sagged as her lower lip curled in animosity. "Watching your little sex toy, were you?" She looked away, at the floor, studying the tiles. "Whatever’s going on between you and Sam, we’re over." She listened for a response.

Allison gasped and grasped her lover’s shoulders firmly. "What do you mean?"

Helen shook her head and shrugged out of the blonde’s grasp. "Don’t play me like a fool. I don’t want to be second best, second choice. It’s clear to me that no matter how much you may care for me or love me, you’re still in love with Sam. Your heart belongs to her. Only one day and you’ve already fucked her."

"I…" Allison’s mouth opened to deny the accusations but she quieted down, realizing that she couldn’t add yet another lie to the pile of lies that had already ruined so many lives. "I love you. I may still have feelings for Sam but rest assured, whatever I had is gone. Besides she has a life of her own, a partner and a kid with a second one on the way."

Helen’s brow furrowed. "Humph! She didn’t look too committed earlier. She was fucking another woman! That still makes me second choice. If you can’t have Sam, you’ll settle for me. Has it been that way all along? I know you had feelings for her before but I thought you were over them." She reined in her fury and studied the blonde coolly.

"That’s not true, Helen. I’m not settling for you. I do love you, I do! I had feelings for Sam before, I admit that, but not anymore. I’m over her." Allison nodded her head convincingly.

The taller woman shook her head. "Yeah, right. Answer this truthfully, if Sam came walking into that door, single, childless, and dropped to her knees and begged you to come back to her, would you?" Allison’s green eyes flickered and she hesitated for a few seconds. Helen pounced on that moment of uncertainty. "If you even had to think about that, it’s obvious. We’re not right for each other, I’m not right for you. Let’s not delude ourselves. I refuse to be second best. Every night, I’ll wonder…when you sleep, do you pretend I’m Sam? When we make love or made love, did you pretend I was Sam, imagining her blue eyes, tongue, and muscular body eliciting those sensations from you? When you utter those three words, do you mean them for me or for a blue-eyed lover you can’t have? When you picture our children, do you imagine black-haired, blue-eyed children with Sam’s characteristics, or do you imagine mine?" Aching was clear in the lawyer’s otherwise normally stoic exterior.

Allison’s green eyes glistened with tears as her arms dropped. "I’m sorry, Helen. I really am. This isn’t fair to you. I…"

Helen interrupted the blonde. What she was about to say was going to hurt. "You should go after Sam. Talk to her, do whatever it takes to get back together. I can see that she still loves you too." She pulled away and walked down the hallway, her posture defeated.

*****

Allison knew the next course of action. There could be absolutely no more delay. To hell with her mother and damn the consequences. Enough people had been hurt already. She squared her shoulders, set her eyes straight forward, curled her hands into loose fists, and marched down the hallway to the waiting room where Susan and Beauregard Cannizarro were awaiting Allen’s permission for them to visit. The blonde swung open the door and stared down at the couple sitting on opposite sides of the dimly lit waiting room. "Barry. Enough’s enough." Her voice was steely and strong, full of determination and conviction.

Barry flinched at the hardness of his stepdaughter’s voice and the stern expression. He straightened up and leaned forward, folding his hands together. "What is it, Allison?"

Susan narrowed her dull gray eyes, studying her daughter’s disheveled appearance and grunted. Allison appeared on the verge of making a scene. "Darling Allison. Let us fetch some hot beverages." She uttered the command in a no-nonsense voice and rose from her seat, her gaudy jewelry clinking together out of sync.

Allison shook her head resolutely and turned her green eyes on her stepfather. "I’m here to tell you the truth, A to Z. Everything. From why Sam left to why Allen shot us all up."

Susan’s stomach lurched at her daughter’s words and her gray eyes widened in horror as she saw her life’s work drain down the proverbial toilet. "Oh, Allison! I’m so glad you decided to finally tell Beauregard the truth." She turned towards her husband and smiled. "Allison was ashamed that she had given birth to a bastard child."

Allison gasped indignantly and roared. "That’s not true! Bitch!" She turned to Barry, pleading with her eyes to allow her to complete the tale.

Barry rolled his eyes, exhausted of the merry-go-round. "Shut the fuck up. Go on, Allison. You will have your chance, Susan, at the end. Proceed." He waved his hand, wondering what story would spew forth this time.

Allison strengthened her resolve and began weaving her tale. "My father died when I was eight years old and he is not Allen’s father. Allen is my son. Not important how he was conceived but momma and I agreed to keep it a secret and that she would adopt Allen because I was thirteen at the time." She paused for the big man to recover from the first of many shocks.

Barry’s mind reeled from the revelation. The sweet, angelic Allison had a child at thirteen but then again, this was the same Allison he had never suspected of being a lesbian. He nodded weakly, encouraging her on. Susan apparently had lied to him about Allen’s parentage and about her marriage to Phillip.

"Allen eavesdropped on a conversation momma and I had. We were fighting about Allen coming to live with me and she was trying to use Allen as leverage against me. Allen found out that Phillip wasn’t his father, that I was really his biological mother, that momma was really his grandma, and why Sam left. He just went berserk and started shooting. Mind you, he was already unhappy with how things were at home and he missed Sam as well. He also missed having you around. There were other things but the catalyst was finding out his whole life was a lie." Allison studied a spot directly above the big man’s head, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Oh." Barry could muster only one word. He gulped, managing to piece together several more words. "What about Sam? Why did she leave? You mentioned something about that." He cocked his head to the side and his brow furrowed in thought and anger.

"You know…uhh… Sam and I were close." She stammered, unsure of exactly how to out the whole relationship to Barry.

Barry nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I know y’all were like, best friends. Sisters. Did you confide in Sam?"

Allison shook her head, chewing her cheek. "Uhh…you know about me and Helen?" She raised an eyebrow apprehensively.

"Yeah. You told Sam you were a lesbian and that scared her off? That shouldn’t have. I’m happy for you and Helen."

"Not exactly." Allison began to speak but Barry interrupted her.

"Oh, Allison. I understand completely." Barry stood and embraced his stepdaughter, holding her close. Allison was confused and shook her head. What had Barry understood? "I don’t blame you one bit! Sam is a beautiful woman. Of course you had a crush on her and that scared her off. She sure took it seriously." Barry grinned, proud with his deductive reasoning.

Allison groaned and chuckled nervously, drawing back from the embrace. "Barry, not quite. There’s more."

Barry inclined his head in agreement. "I can see that, indeed. You had a crush on her, told her how you felt. And maybe she had some mixed feelings about you. She confused sisterly feelings with romantic feelings and just freaked. But what does that have to do with Susan?"

The blonde sighed and shrugged. "Bzzz. Wrong answer." Barry began to speak but Allison interrupted and held up a cautioning finger. "Hold on, Barry. Please be quiet for one minute. You’ve been wrong three times." She inhaled a deep breath then continued.

"Barry… I was completely, totally, head over heels in love with your daughter. We were perfect together. We had our future all planned out. Kids, a house, traveling… She loved me, Barry. Not as a sister loves a sister or as a friend loves a friend, but as a man loves a woman. As a woman loves a man. Understand?" She waggled her eyebrows as Barry’s face froze.

"We were together for a little over a year and half before she left. Momma caught us in a very compromising position and threatened to never let me see Allen again. She said she would treat him badly if I didn’t end things with Sam. Suffice it to say, Sam didn’t take the break-up well. We were so much in love. When we broke up, I had to resort to saying some really cruel, horrible things which just broke her heart. Mine too but…" Allison sighed, popping her knuckles. "She trusted me. She allowed herself to love me and I destroyed that. I accept my share of the blame. Momma was afraid that the high society people would frown upon our relationship. Because she was deaf, a troublemaker, plus it was a lesbian relationship."

Susan’s jaw dropped as if she was learning all of this information for the first time. "Allison! You and Samantha were lovers?" She clutched her hands to her chest and sat down unceremoniously. "Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve understood! I would have loved having Samantha as my daughter-in-law!"

Barry shot his wife a confused look, unsure of who was telling the truth. "Sam and you were lovers? Was it a one-time thing for Sam?"

Allison shook her head. "No. She has a partner and a daughter now back home, wherever that is. You’re a grandfather."

Barry’s heart stopped for a second and he looked at Susan with clarity for the first time. He saw an ugly woman, a cruel, cold-blooded reptile with no conscience. "You heartless witch!"

"Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute! Even if what Allison Alexandra is saying is true, that gives Samantha no right to beat me up! She almost caused our son to die!"

Barry growled, his teeth gnashing against each other. "You broke Sam’s heart, drove her away! I may have said some things but you drove her away! She had a hard enough time trusting anyone with her heart and you destroyed it! You used a little boy as leverage! You used a mother’s love for her child to your advantage! You made two children lie to me, their stepfather. You lied to me and manipulated me." He advanced upon his wife, his blue eyes blazing with fury.

Susan’s back arched defensively. "Why are you believing her?"

"You haven’t volunteered any other explanations! You haven’t told me one single reason why Sam left!"

"That’s because I know nothing! Nothing! You want to know why Sam left? I didn’t want to tell you because it’s so horrible! You have such illusions of your daughter, place her on such a grand pedestal but…" Susan sobbed, clutching her husband’s arm. She looked away in shame, verbalizing the first excuse that came to mind. "I caught her molesting Allen!"

Barry’s jugular veins popped out while Allison’s jaw dropped open. His nose flared in rage and his eyes bugged out. He pushed his wife off him, his stomach retching at any physical contact or closeness with the redhead. "I can’t believe you’d accuse Sam of sexual abuse! She loves that little boy. She came back for him!"

"Exactly! Exactly." Susan began to speak slower. Her story made complete sense. "Don’t you think it’s strange she came back for him? She wanted to make sure he didn’t spill the beans! That she was the only one he is willing to see? They became suddenly close when they were younger. Don’t you think that was odd? I’m glad she wasn’t around to molest Beau! That’s why she battered me, because I threatened to expose her shenanigans!"

"Such filth that comes out of your gutter mouth! Sam would never do that. I can’t believe you’re glad she has been gone all those years. I know exactly how to resolve this. I want tests done. Prove to me who Allen’s real mother is."

Susan rolled her eyes as if her husband was dense. "I’m not debating that point. Allison is Allen’s mother. Allison didn’t want you or anyone else to know because she was very ashamed, so I kept quiet. I’m just telling you why Sam left—because I caught her molesting Allen."

Barry sighed. "I’ll call Julia and Sam. See what they have to say." Right on cue, Julia walked into the waiting room and Barry motioned her over. "Were Sam and Allison lovers? Did they break up and that’s why Sam left?" His voice was firm.

Julia’s eyes widened. "Yes… that’s what Sam told me."

Barry turned to his wife with cool authority. "I demand a divorce." He slipped the gold wedding band off his finger.

Susan’s gray eyes immediately filled with tears. "No! They’re lying."

"Immaterial." Barry grunted and tossed the ring carelessly onto the hard hospital floor. It made a clinking sound. "I am in love with someone else."

"No!" The redhead squealed. "No!" She fell to the floor, clutching the band.

"Yes." Barry’s blue eyes shone with pride. "She’s right here." Grandly, Barry swept his arm around the room with a grand flourish. Susan’s sister Jackie burst hysterically into the waiting room.

"Susanna!" Jackie shrilled loudly and clambered over to her older sibling. "I just returned from a lovely cruise and received the horrible news! Do say darling Allen Alexander is all right!"

The redhead snarled with fury and she leaped from the floor. "Jacqueline! My God! The one woman I did not suspect! My sister! My own sister! How could you? Wasn’t daddy enough?"

Barry formed an ‘o’ with his mouth and attempted to intervene, but he was too late. Susan’s long red nails raked into Jackie’s smooth, perfect face, and drew trails of blood. There would definitely be scarring. Jackie hollered in pain and immediately reared back, her bejeweled fist connecting squarely with Susan’s face. They rolled onto the floor, punches flying wildly.

"Barry?" Julia reached for the shocked man’s hand. "Are you and Jackie…"

"No!" Barry exclaimed. "She just had bad timing. Julia…" He cupped the shorter woman’s chin. "I’m crazy about you."

Julia’s face broke out into a bright grin. "Oh, Barry…" She gazed dreamily at the big man, ignoring the hubbub in their midst.

Allison slipped away, wanting to find Sam and work things out. The blonde tiptoed to Allen’s room, figuring Sam would be there. The towhead was sleeping soundly, alone. The green-eyed woman sighed and rubbed her forehead. Today was one of the longest days of her life, but it could turn out to be one of the happiest if she was reunited with Sam. Allison waited several minutes, but her stepsister did not make an appearance. The blonde gave up and retreated to the waiting room, aiming to ask Julia.

Hospital security was carting off both bleeding, hollering, and weeping sisters. Susan wouldn’t listen to Jackie’s denials, and Jackie was screaming at the redhead for ruining her gorgeous looks. "Daddy will never forgive you for this!" Jackie bellowed.

"I don’t care!" Susan retorted right back. "He’s a bastard! Fuck you both!"

"Julia!" Allison called out to the aunt. "Where’s Sam?"

"Oh, umm…" Julia turned to the blonde as Barry’s ears perked. "She got home right as I was leaving. That was a while ago." The older woman consulted her watch. "By now, she’s probably left for the airport. She’s flying back."

Allison’s face fell. "No. No. No." Tears sprang in her eyes. "No."

"Already?" Barry spoke through clenched teeth.

Julia squeezed the big man’s hand. "She promised to visit next month. For a week. And she wants Allen to fly out for his birthday."

"Is she bringing her daughter?" Barry asked hopefully.

"Daughter?" Julia repeated the word, confused.

"Casey," Allison supplied numbly. "How long ago did she leave? Never mind." Allison waved the question away, knowing Julia probably wouldn’t answer. The blonde sighed and exhaled a deep breath. "I’m going to the airport." She grasped her purse and turned on her heels.

*****

Allison promised a generous tip to the taxi driver if he could get her to the airport, normally a fifteen minute drive this time of the night, in ten minutes or less. He told her he could do much better, then pressed the pedal to the metal. As the driver careened through the sparsely occupied streets, the blonde hardly noticed the bright city lights penetrating the rapidly falling dusk. Her thoughts were entirely focused on Sam—as they basically had been ever since the tall, slender, raven-haired beauty with the bewitching smile, intense blue eyes, and the vulnerable heart, entered Allison’s life so many years ago.

The skilled driver delivered his passenger at the airport seven minutes later, giving her little time to review the best course of action after her trip down memory lane. Nevertheless, Allison tipped him well, impressed that she had met a worse driver than she.

Clutching her small brown purse across her shoulder, Allison dashed into the medium-sized airport. It was a semi-national airport, serving mostly the eastern part of the United States. In recent years, it had expanded service further westward as demand and population numbers increased. The blonde clambered up the flight of stairs to the terminal and paused momentarily to catch her breath. At this time of night, shortly after eight, the terminal was mostly deserted, except for the occasional departing and arriving flights.

Allison scanned the lobbies of each gate as she hustled nervously down the carpeted concourse. Most of the flights had departed within the last hour. Only two flights were leaving in the next couple hours—one to Charlotte, North Carolina, in exactly sixty-five minutes, the other departing for Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in precisely eighty minutes. Both Charlotte and Pittsburgh had huge airports and connecting flights to virtually anywhere in the world. Unable to locate Sam, the blonde swore under her breath. After a through but hurried search of the gift shops and cafes, Allison concluded that Sam most likely was en route on a plane at the moment, on her way back to her lover and their child. I’m too late. Heaviness settled in Allison’s heart, but she steeled herself. "No. No," she whispered under her breath. She was determined not to give up, even if she and Sam could not get back together. If the brunette truly had found her soul mate in Christine, so be it, but Sam deserved to know the truth about the break up.

Scowling at herself, Allison located a pay phone and dialed the number for the hospital. She needed to ask Julia for more details about Sam’s flight home. If the older woman wasn’t willing to cooperate, she’d find herself faced with an extremely irate and frustrated blonde.

Sam walked out of the ladies’ bathroom and stopped briefly to adjust the straps of her laptop carrying case. Her eyes fell upon her stepsister, who was standing across the corridor near the men’s bathroom. Allison’s face was obviously flushed with irritation as she forced coins into a pay phone slot. Just like a dumb dog, she is. No matter how hard she’s beaten, she comes back wanting more. Sam unconsciously remained rooted in place as she studied Allison longingly, missing her desperately. Her hair fell in layers around her neck, and her green eyes, speckled with gold, shone with pain and passion. Allison cradled the phone receiver between her ear and her shoulder, waiting impatiently for someone to come on the line.

Allison felt a change in the atmosphere around her, detecting the same electrical charge whenever Sam was near. As a nurse answered with a brisk hello, Allison looked up and for the second time that day, met her stepsister’s deep blue gaze. Sam noticed the immediate change in the blonde’s demeanor—there was a sudden shift from annoyance to happiness. A small smile immediately tugged on the corners of Allison’s mouth and she let a grin slip. Sam’s solid, unpenetrable mask did not change.

Sam waited for Allison to make the first move. The blonde hung up the phone and approached the taller woman hesitantly. "Hi." Her green eyes shone with the usual friendly gleam that Sam remembered so well. "Do you have a minute? I really want to—"

Sam held up an abrupt hand. "Make it quick." She consulted her watch. "I have thirty minutes." She bore into Allison with her trademark inscrutable gaze, deciding that for Allen’s sake, she and Allison would have to learn to get along.

Allison wrung her hands together nervously. Weariness and fear enveloped her as she tried to continue. "Let’s get some coffee. My treat." Her heart hammered as she fell in step slightly behind Sam for the five-second jaunt to the coffee stand. At least things were going well—Sam was speaking to her, being civil.

The brunette silently took the steaming cup of coffee offered by her former lover. With Allison trailing, Sam headed for her gate; her flight was to Charlotte. She sat on a hard blue chair, typical airport furniture, and raised an eyebrow, signaling for Allison to begin.

The blonde took a seat across from Sam and began to sign. Her hands trembled slightly, but visibly. "I want you to know the truth about why I broke up with you. I wrote you a letter a couple years back explaining the whole thing… you didn’t read it by any chance, did you?" Allison leaned forward slightly. Sam might have lied to Julia.

The blue-eyed woman across from her swallowed almost imperceptibly, but the movement did not pass unnoticed by Allison. Sam sipped from her cup and set it down on the seat next to her, still saying nothing. Unbeknownst to Julia, Sam hadn’t ripped the letter into shreds. It remained in the envelope, unopened, untouched, and unread, simply laying in her dresser drawer. In a moment of weakness, the dark-haired woman had slipped it into her backpack before leaving for her flight to visit Allen and Julia.

Allison sighed and crossed her ankles. "Anyway, Sam… Sam…" Looking into the beautiful face, into the depths of her stepsister’s cool blue eyes, Allison almost lost her nerve. "Sam…" The blonde floundered helplessly; this was harder than she thought. She tucked a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear and started again.

Sam studied Allison with the usual mask of detachment, although her nerves were on pinpricks. If she knew the younger woman, and she thought she had, the blonde was in one of her more vulnerable states, and had something extremely important to say. Sam wanted nothing more in the world than to just bridge the chasm separating her from Allison, to hold the smaller woman in her arms and kiss her for eternity, but stubborn pride and a wary, bruised heart prevented her.

Allison swallowed and looked at Sam again, avoiding direct contact with her magnetic azure eyes. "My mother made me break up with you."

Sam narrowed her gaze and a cold shield immediately went up. "No, she didn’t. In the end, the decision was yours."

Allison’s chin quivered and tears threatened to shatter her composure and resolve. "Breaking up with you was the worst mistake of my life, Sam. I know you’re in love now with Christine, and I’m so happy for you. Really. I just wanted you to know the truth. You’re a wonderful person and I love you, always."

The icy, inscrutable expression on Sam’s face didn’t change. "That’s all you have to say? Thanks yet again for wasting my time. Go back to Helen."

Allison shook her head emphatically and her hands quavered tremulously. "Helen and I are over. My heart will always belong to you. I know there’s no excuse for what I did but please… momma threatened to never let me see Allen again. She said she’d hurt him."

Sam scoffed and her features hardened even more. "Come up with a better lie, can’t you?"

Allison forced her hands to stop shaking and she inhaled deeply. "Please let me finish."

Sam rolled her eyes indifferently. "Get on with it already." She looked at the clock—fifteen minutes to boarding time.

Aware of the disappearing minutes, Allison rushed on. "Momma caught us in bed. When you went to the firm with your father the next day, she confronted me and… no." The blonde suddenly changed her approach. She was going about it the wrong way. "Allen’s my son. He’s… he’s my baby, Sam. I had him when I was thirteen years old. Momma’s boyfriend ‘raped’ me." Allison ventured a peek at her stepsister, but Sam seemed nonplussed.

Behind the cool façade, Sam’s reaction was incredulous and it was all she could do not to keep her jaw from dropping open. Her first instinct was to accuse Allison of lying, but one look at her tormented face told her otherwise.

"Momma hates me because of what happened with Bob. He was the love of her life. Bob left when he found out I was pregnant. My father died when I was eight years old." Noticing the increasing flurry of activity around her, Allison muttered something under her breath and spoke gamely. "I won’t bother you with all the details but… Allen overheard momma and me talking yesterday. I wanted him to move in with me, live with me, but she said no and things just screwballed out of control and the next thing we knew, Allen was holding us up at gunpoint." Allison gestured impatiently, wanting to get the most important things out before Sam boarded the plane.

"Anyway, anyway, what I said to you that day wasn’t true at all. Momma pointed out that she had a lot of money, more experience, a husband, and a better track record when it came to Allen. She was going to kick me out and make sure I never saw him again. And she promised to hurt him, make his life miserable. And I knew that if I went easy on you, I would crumble so I had to go all out. I really had no idea that you were gonna… I don’t know. I guess I just figured it’d work out in the end." Allison slouched back in her seat and exhaled noisily. "Thank you for coming to see Allen. It means the world to him. He adores you. I was scared, Sam. I was eighteen and didn’t know what to do… hindsight is always 20/20 and if I could do things over again, I would."

Sam tilted her head, still absorbing the news. "Mmm. Well." She stood and slung her duffel bag over her shoulder. The plane was now boarding. Sam went with her first reaction. "Thanks lots for your consideration. It’s so very much appreciated." Her words dripped with sarcasm.

Allison whimpered pleadingly, begging Sam with her green eyes. "I love you."

"You know…" Sam paused in mock thoughtfulness, rubbing her chin exaggeratedly. "I feel even sorrier for Allen now. Having Susan as a mother was bad enough, but now with you as his mother…" Sam clicked her tongue sympathetically. "Gods help him." She tossed her silky black hair to one side and winked at the blonde sitting across from her. "Have a nice life." Then she was gone, her hips softly swaying from side to side.

Allison sat slumped in her chair for almost an hour after Sam left. Her stepsister had just received shocking news and needed time to process the information and recover. Boarding and clearance for takeoff usually took fifteen minutes at least, but Sam didn’t show up. A static, crackly voice announced that the plane had taken off safely, but then Allison hoped that perhaps Sam didn’t get on the plane after all, but was hiding out somewhere in the airport, thinking things through. But when Sam didn’t return after all those minutes, the blonde gritted her teeth and willed her tears not to fall. She had to pull her act together for Allen’s sake. Sam was with Christine—they had a child together and more on the way. And if Allison truly loved and cared for Sam, she would be happy for her former lover.

*****

The short, twenty-minute flight to Charlotte was only half-full, so Sam had a block of three seats to herself. She chose the window seat, still inwardly reeling from the news Allison dumped on her. It was too incredible, too farfetched. Sam stared out the window numbly as the plane taxied off and soared into the air.

Sam swallowed, moistening her suddenly dry mouth. So what if she is telling the truth? Doesn’t change a thing. Sam nodded resolutely, trying to convince herself that her life at the present moment was great and satisfactory; she needed no change.

And those three words, those pained, truly sorrowful green eyes. I love you.

Allison had appeared distraught, inconsolable. All Sam had wanted to do was hold her and make things right. That was all she still wanted to do. The harder she tried to ignore the truth, the more it persisted.

She thought about her life in Los Angeles. Taking pictures of snot-nosed kids at Sears, sleeping with a new woman every week, denying the obvious. Was that living?

Sam furrowed her brows and reached into her backpack for the letter Allison had written months ago. Restlessly, Sam puckered her lips and searched for the envelope as the seatbelt lights went off. It was safe to move around the plane. A stewardess appeared but Sam got rid of her quickly. Finally, she located the letter and tore the envelope open.

With trembling hands, a thumping heart, and a churning stomach, Sam read then reread Allison’s words. Her stories matched; Sam knew they would. She swallowed, struggling to maintain clear and rational thoughts. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you’ll go back to her.

The brunette asked herself what she would have done if she’d read the letter earlier. She blinked, realizing she would have torn it up. She was that bitter.

Sam took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. She should have told me. I would have helped her. I’d never let the bitch get her grubby hands on Allen. Why didn’t she trust me enough to tell me? Sam didn’t buy Allison’s excuse that she was young, scared, and unsure, although the explanation did hold some merit. The brunette located a particular line in Allison’s letter and ran her fingers over it again. Her handwriting was so beautiful. I was so happy with you. I was so happy, too happy, that I knew it had to come to an end. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it happened, I gave in. I was stupid. But please, don’t make Barry, Allen, or Beau suffer for my mistakes.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut as the plane descended into Charlotte. She tried to put herself in Allison’s shoes—twelve years old, alone, her alcoholic father dead, a mother who hated her, struggling to accept her sexual identity, suddenly pregnant. Having to raise the baby as her brother, kowtowing to her mother’s every whim and desire. Sam refolded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. If she had been in Allison’s place, she might have done the same thing. And if she hadn’t blown her top, granted, she had good reason, maybe they’d have worked things out eventually. If she hadn’t run away, caved in too easily… Suddenly, Sam realized that she herself had been too happy with Allison, subconsciously waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it had, they’d both accepted it with barely a whimper.

Sam thought about all the times she’d sworn not to think about Allison anymore. Allison. Allison. Allison. I hate you, Allison.

Sam opened her eyes as the plane came to a stop. She gathered her carry-on bags and trudged off the plane. She had plenty of time to make her connection to Los Angeles.

Unsuccessfully, Sam tried to banish thoughts of Allison from her mind. Holding the small body against her chest, feeling the steady and rhythmic beating of her heart, her golden hair spilled across her supple, perfectly rounded breasts, her delicious nipples, their semi-nude bodies splayed and entwined. They had been so perfect together, clicking on physical, emotional, and spiritual cylinders. Allison’s body was fantastic, her smile, her dimples and full lips framing gleaming white teeth. For once in her life, Sam truly thought she’d met someone with whom she could trust her heart. Allison loved her, didn’t judge her. Gave nary a thought to taking advantage of her when she was crying her eyes out at the cemetery, comforted her after Allen’s fall at age three, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

But also Allison had hurt her twice—once with accusing her of stealing Chas’s wallet, and then again with the break up. Sam gripped the duffel bag, her knuckles turning white from the force, as she remembered her initial temptation when Susan almost caught them kissing at the beach. Allison threw the poem in the ice bucket and ran away. Sam had just wanted to fuck it all, but she hadn’t. She stayed, didn’t run away. Swallowed her pride. And Allison didn’t view it as a weakness.

Julia’s words came back to her. If you don’t work through your anger, you’re going nowhere in life. You will die lonely and bitter! Stop running away, Samantha!

*****

After leaving the airport, Allison headed for the hospital. She tiptoed into her son’s room. Apparently, Barry, Julia, and Allen’s other visitors were gone. There was no sign of them in the waiting room or anywhere else in the hospital. The blonde sat delicately on the edge of Allen’s bed, not wanting to disturb him. He was sleeping soundly, and his prognosis looked good. A couple of the machines that had dotted the landscape previously were gone, and his condition didn’t look as intimidating.

She gazed at him for a few minutes. Allen was so adorable, as always. He slept on his back, his head lolling slightly to the side. His hair, which became lighter by the day, was mussed and he seemed to be an average, typical boy, but Allison knew better. Barry knew the truth now. Susan knew that Barry knew. Allen knew too. Now Sam knew. It was a know-fest.

Allison ventured a light kiss on the boy’s forehead and said a silent prayer. Please let my son recover. I want him to live with me. We need each other. I’ll be a great mother, I promise.

The youth’s eyelids fluttered and his green eyes squinted as they adjusted to the visitor. One of the monitors emitted a whining, high-pitched sound as he tossed and awakened.

Allison swallowed and stood, blinking back tears. "Sorry. I’ll go now. I just wanted to stop in and see how you were doing. I love you, Allen." She bent over and squeezed his hand.

He didn’t let go. "You can stay." His whispery voice was slurred and sleep-filled, but his words filled Allison’s heart with hope. His eyelids flickered and remained closed for longer intervals at a time. He was losing his battle against the sedatives and the onset of sleep.

"You want me to stay?" She repeated the phrase tentatively, as if it was too good to be true. The raw hurt that had glittered in his dark green eyes seemed to be subsiding.

"Mmm." Allen coughed weakly and tightened his grip on Allison’s hand as best as he could. He was tired of being alone, of shutting people out. Before, he’d always had Allison, and he still wanted her. She made mistakes like everyone else, but not once had she left him. They had a long, bumpy, but passable road ahead of them. "Stay with me, Al. I love you too."

Allison wiped a tear away before Allen could see it. A silly half-grin appeared on her face, lighting up her features. Allen nodded off, returning to dreamland, but his hand maintained its hold on Allison. She slipped into bed with her son, taking extra care not to disturb his wires and tubes or to do anything that could hinder his treatment. She pulled the covers snugly over both of them. Her fingers caressed his smooth skin and ran through his hair as she felt breaths rise and fall, each stronger than the one prior. Before long, Allison fell asleep, her arm encircling Allen’s waist.

*****

Shortly after midnight, Sam arrived back at the hospital, via taxicab. She had taken the last flight. She chose the hospital, knowing in all likelihood, Allison would be with Allen. If she wasn’t, Sam would just stay with the boy and visit for a while, take it from there. She had no idea what she was going to do or say to Allison, just that they had to at least make an effort to patch things up. The brunette tipped the driver frugally, her wallet already reeling from the ridiculous prices in California and from the money she’d spent flying around the country in less than two days.

She appeared in Allen’s room, a black silhouette framed by the doorway. The light from the hall barely managed to slither into the dark hospital room, but the moonlight was brilliant. Slowly, Sam advanced further and quietly closed the door behind her. Sam’s hunch was correct; Allison lay in bed with Allen. Both were sound asleep.

The blue-eyed woman took in the serene figures before her, suddenly feeling like an outsider. I should leave them alone. But an unexplainable force brought Sam closer to the bed and she couldn’t help but smile wistfully. The slight rivulet of drool trickling out the corner of the blonde’s mouth caused Sam’s lips to curve upward. Sam’s heart went out to her stepsister and to the son she had borne at such a young age, while still a child herself. Allison obviously loved the boy and would do anything for him, but the evil currents and the dark forces of life had prevented them both from truly being happy.

Sam studied the thin, pale, frail youth with new, awed eyes. Allison’s child. This is Allison’s son. Allen took a whole new meaning for Sam. To his stepsister, Allen had always been a cool, cute kid. But now, he seemed like an angel. He was part of Allison; he had come from her. He had inherited his hair color, the bubbly green eyes, a sweet disposition, and so much more, from her. The brunette remembered the slightly off-kilter grin that Allen must have gotten from his biological mother. Sam bit her lip as she mediated upon mother and child. I’ve been a stupid, blind fool. . Life would never be the same again.

The taller woman heaved a deep breath and softly set her bags down on the floor. She selected a chair and leaned back in it, intending to rest her eyes for only a moment. She awakened with a jolt about ten minutes later, realizing the extent of her exhaustion. Sleeping in a chair wouldn’t do the trick, but she didn’t want to wake Allison up. On the other hand, she had waited long enough already. Sam grinned, mentally chastising herself. After all those years, she could certainly bear a few more hours. The brunette stood and peered anxiously at her stepsister, mentally willing her to awaken. The taller woman uttered a small groan of impatience when Allison remained asleep. She was practically knocked out.

Sam couldn’t help herself. Allison looked so sweet, so vulnerable, and infinitely beautiful. She bent down and used her index finger and thumb to wipe off the drool from Allison’s cheek. She kept her hand on the fair skin, caressing the light blond hairs. Sam brought her lips to Allison’s forehead and smiled contentedly. Gently, she rubbed Allison’s back, needing to resolve their rift now. Not tomorrow, not later. Now.

Allison stirred somewhat, but didn’t rouse. Sam interlocked her hands behind the blonde’s back and halfway hoisted her. The stronger woman sat on the edge of the bed and coaxed Allison onto her lap. She grinned, studying the mumbling half-awake blonde; she was still hard to wake up. Maybe this’ll move her along. Sam brought her mouth to Allison’s, using her fingers then her tongue to trace the soft fullness of the younger woman’s lips. The taste of Allison was a delicious sensation and Sam could wait no longer. She was addicted for life and more.

Allison felt Sam’s lips touch her like a dream. Her mouth instinctively found her way to the brunette’s slow, drugging kisses. She pressed her mouth against Sam’s and drank in the sweetness of the fantasy. Astonished at the fulfillment she felt, Allison became instantly awake, fully aware of her surroundings.

Allison’s reaction seemed to amuse Sam, as a Cheshire cat grin leaped onto the taller woman’s face. She laughed softly, and a mischievous look crept into her shining blue eyes. As the expression of intense shock subsided, a strange, faintly eager look flashed onto Allison’s face as she realized that she might not have been dreaming.

Allison blinked, focused her gaze in the semi-darkness of the room, then grinned. The intense gaze from Sam sent the blonde’s pulse spinning. Her heart refused to believe what her mind told her.

"Alli?" Sam finally broke the silence when it became unbearable for her. "I’m not a mind reader."

A blush crept onto Allison’s cheeks, provoking a devilish grin from Sam. "We’ll have to see if you’re still ticklish too." Without replying verbally, Allison buried her burning face against Sam’s shoulder, favoring her injured arm.

Sam slipped her hand up Allison’s shirt, searching for the familiar hollows of her back. Allison’s body tingled from the contact and a thought finally shoved its way into her brain. She leaped from the bed. "You’re really here!"

Sam stood and pinched herself, smiling broadly. "Suppose so." She held up her hands in mock guilt then a more somber expression moved onto the brunette’s face. "Look—I was hoping that… we could maybe work things out." She sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets. Words never were her best suit.

Allison’s jaw dropped. "We can’t."

"Oh," Sam whispered. She gulped hard, preventing tears from falling. "Why not?"

"I don’t want to ruin yet another family. Your lover. What about Casey and the baby on the way?"

Sam grimaced at the reminder of her lie. "Ahh… funny you bring that up. I may have been exaggerating just a wee little bit." She brought her thumb and index finger together to indicate a microscopic amount of space.

Allison’s green eyes widened. "Tell me…"

"There’s no Christine, no Casey. I made them up, hoping you’d get jealous. The kid in the picture was just a friend’s. I was being really immature. I’m sorry, Alli. About everything, the fat jokes, running away all those years." Sam analyzed the blonde’s reaction. Finding the results to be positive, Sam, her dark gaze never leaving Allison, reached for the smaller woman and interlocked their hands. "Do you think we can get our relationship back on track? At least try?"

Suddenly, Allison knew the flooding of uncontrollable joy. "It worked. I was jealous as hell. Yes. Yes. Of course I’d love to." She fell silent, nearly speechless. The shadows across her heart quickly vanished. Who would have thought three days ago that she and Sam would be here…

"Wow. You’re quiet. This must be something big." Sam smirked, teasing Allison affectionately. "C’mere." She encircled Allison’s waist for a hug, feeling like she had just been transported onto a cloud. She pulled back after a moment, unable to conceal her burgeoning grin of pleasure. "You tired?"

Allison shook her head vigorously. "Never. Do… Do…" She stammered, still adjusting to the fact Sam was back. "Excuse me. I’m a little overwhelmed." She smiled, dropping her gaze automatically from Sam’s shoulder to her perfectly formed breasts. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"Your place?" suggested Sam. She cast an appreciative glance across Allison’s slim figure. There were a lot of things they had to hammer out before taking their relationship to a more serious plane, but she couldn’t wait.

"No. I live with uhh… lived with Helen. I’ll be moving out. There’s a motel next door. I’ll pay for a room." Allison skipped to Sam and planted a wet, joyous kiss on her cheek. "Oh Sam!"

"Hold on." Sam steadied her stepsister’s enthusiastic gait. "Shouldn’t you leave a note for Allen?"

The blonde grinned. "Of course, yes." As she scribbled a message for the youth, Sam surveyed the recovering boy again. His eyes were lidded with heavy sleep; he wouldn’t be waking up for a while yet. Allison completed the memo and laid paper and pen on the nightstand. She joined Sam at Allen’s bedside, secretly taking pleasure in the look of amazement on the brunette’s face. "Ready?" Allison offered a hand but Sam remained deep in thought.

"Your son’s beautiful, Alli. Just like you. You did good." Sam smiled and turned to Allison, tracing the cleft in her chin with her hand. "I’ve missed you. Your stubborn chin…" A wistful gaze entered her blue eyes. "There’s so much we have to talk about."

"I know." Allison clutched her companion’s hand. "Let’s go."

*****

Allison and Sam walked, hand in hand, with the spring of rekindled love in their step, across the hospital parking lot to the motel next door. The motel was a family affair. A swimming pool was sandwiched between a U–shaped building of rooms. Most of its guests were people visiting their loved ones or friends at the nearby hospital. The establishment was clean and well-lit, quiet, with only the sounds of squirrels scurrying about and leaves rustling in the light spring air. The blonde was adamant about paying for the room and finally, Sam gave in. "Fine, fine." She rolled her eyes teasingly, scowling when a yawn escaped her.

Allison responded with a prolonged yawn of her own as she waited for her credit card to be processed. "How much have you slept in the last couple days?" Sam asked the blonde.

Allison thought for a moment and smoothed out her hair and clothes. "Four hours, tops. I must look awful. Need some beauty sleep."

"If you look awful now, I can’t wait to see how you look all fixed up." Sam grinned and winked.

The front desk clerk returned with the bill. Allison signed the paper and received two room keys, handing one to Sam. They strolled outside and down the cemented sidewalk to their room. Allison swallowed as Sam unlocked the door, hoping she wouldn’t reach the wrong conclusions. Their room, only one of a few available, consisted of two double-sized beds. Sam didn’t seem to notice or mind.

Sam set her bags on the floor next to the door and closed the door behind her. "Bunch of crap." She shot daggers at her ratty duffel bag, which was on the verge of falling apart. She shrugged out of her worn leather jacket and placed it on a nearby chair.

"Uhh… yeah." Allison smiled awkwardly, now that they were completely alone. "You need a new bag."

The brunette shrugged. "My laptop is what’s important. So, you’re signing very well. More than well." She grinned. "You’re a teacher, huh? Like it?" Sam stuffed her hands in her pockets and bounced on the balls of her feet, studying the younger woman nervously.

"Oh, yes." Allison’s green eyes shone. "It’s wonderful."

Sam wrapped her arms around Allison’s midriff and rested her head on the blonde’s shoulder for a few minutes. As Sam held her close, Allison felt her stepsister’s uneven breathing and barely buried tears on her cheek. The taller woman drew back, a sheepish smile on her face. "Sorry. I just can’t seem to get enough of you."

"Don’t be sorry." Allison motioned for one of the beds, knowing that her face must be mirroring the look of enthrallment on her friend’s. Sam sat, visibly nervous and unsure. Allison took her stepsister’s hand and guided it to herself then caressed the strong tendons in the back of her companion’s neck. "You can have all of me you want. Anytime, anywhere. I promise I won’t ever hurt you again."

Sam’s nipples firmed instantly under Allison’s prickling touch and intense words. Allison’s skin was like peach-tinted cream and her firm, high-perched breasts were enticing. The blonde shuddered as Sam’s hand, beautiful, long-fingered, and strong, trailed down her temple. She was acutely conscious of her stepsister’s athletic, muscular physique, but for both of them, the moment was not erotic, but more of a ‘getting acquainted again’ period. They weren’t going to have sex until things were worked out.

Allison’s lips curved upward. "I want to know what you’ve been up to. I guess you’ve graduated from college. Are you in grad school now? Or working? Where? Which university? What was your major?" Sam’s brow creased with worry as she thought about what she had to offer Allison, which was nothing. "Hey, do you still paint? I still have some of the pictures we tried to do together, some that you drew for me. I’ve kept the poem and the ring—"

Sam pressed her lips to Allison’s and covered the smaller hand, momentarily interrupting the flow of words. "Looks like motormouth’s back." She smiled affectionately at her indignant stepsister. "Don’t give me that look, Alli. I could tickle you right now, you know. It would be too easy, you being one-armed and all."

Allison yelped and drew back slightly.

Sam chuckled, adjusting her position in the bed. "Don’t worry. I’ll be good tonight. Mmm… you smell so nice. Different, though. Now you smell like…"

"Yep. Right now I smell like hospital. I don’t smell like coffee twenty-four-seven anymore since I quit the Addict." The blonde half-grinned, taking note of Sam’s troubled expression. "What’s wrong?"

Sam exhaled a deep breath. "There are a few things you need to know. I transferred to New York University, stayed for a couple years, but dropped out after I totally fucked up my scholarship. I was into partying and drugs and sex. I flunked every single class, even introduction to drawing and introduction to English. I moved to California—LA—where I’ve been for, umm… a year or so. You want to know what I do, Alli? I’ve slept with Gods know how many women, but it was just sex. There was no connection nor attachment. Miserable. I take pictures of whiny, snot-nosed brats at a department store. I never went back to school. I didn’t see the point, really. I don’t have much to offer you right now." She endeavored a glance at Allison, but the blonde didn’t seem repulsed.

"I haven’t made much of myself. My aunt doesn’t know. Now that I’ve looked back upon the last few years, I’ve really wasted them. Made a lot of bad choices and wasted good money." Sam paused thoughtfully. "Julia thinks I graduated from NYU with a major in art history and I didn’t bother to correct her." The dark-haired woman sat up in the bed and used the headboard to support her back. "I live in a really crappy part of town in a shit-hole of an apartment and pay sky high rent. I miss the East Coast. I miss home, having a backyard, seeing green trees and the flowers, the plants, lakes, swimming, nature. I miss you."

Allison remained silent, getting the feeling that Sam had a lot to say, to get off her chest.

"You really hurt me." Biting her lip, Sam looked away. After a moment, she continued, almost choking on her words. She tried to hold back tears of pain and disappointment, but several slipped out nonetheless. "I know I could have come back… tried to fight for you. I…" Sam shook her head in disgust; she was carrying on like a baby. "Actually, I didn’t throw away your letter. I read it on the plane for the first time tonight. I asked myself what I would’ve done if I had read it before. I’ll tell you… I would have torn it up and not believed a single word. I was so depressed for weeks after you dumped me. So many times I thought about just ending it all. Just getting two really sharp blades and slitting my wrists. ‘Cause…" Sam’s eyes glimmered with tears as she turned to Allison. "I don’t know how to explain it but before you came into my life, it was like I didn’t really exist. And after we were over, I’d had a taste of heaven and I couldn’t just go back to…" Sam furiously wiped tears away and held the rest in check. "Thank the Gods for my aunt. She saved my life."

Tears also welled within Allison’s green eyes and suddenly all pleasure left her. She reached for Sam, hoping the brunette would allow an embrace, but Sam resisted. The taller woman stood and paced the room.

"I don’t know how it happened or when it happened, Alli, but somewhere along the way, perhaps right when we met in that restaurant for the first time when our parents announced their engagement, I was smitten with you. I was a goner. You know how much I hated kids and despised the whole romantic concept of love and settling down, all that shit. But after one month with you, I’d already tossed all those negative thoughts out the window. Every time I saw you, I just wanted to make you happy. I couldn’t be happy unless you were happy too… I wanted the world for you, for us. I thought maybe I hadn’t made it clear to you how much I loved you and appreciated you, needed you. I thought of so many reasons why you broke up with me but couldn’t come up with anything… after a while, I just stuck all my anger somewhere and buried it, letting it simmer. I thought I hated you… you know, but this isn’t what I’m trying to say. I’m fucking up again." Sam turned, paused to catch her breath, and studied her stepsister.

Allison’s face was mottled and she appeared miserable. Dismay and sorrow was etched all over face.

"I thought I moved on, but I hadn’t. I love you, Alli. I will always love you, no matter what. I may not realize it, but I know… Gods." She balled her hands into fists, then unclenched them. "And after everything, when we got together, you trusted me too. Like that thing with Mickey. Or with what you told me about your father at the cemetery. I don’t know… it hurts that you couldn’t tell me Allen was your son, even before Susan caught us in bed. Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you trust me or my father to help you? Makes me wonder if you really love me." She cleared her throat and began again. "You made me feel worthy. Like, you remember when Allen fell in the pantry? If my father had been around, he’d have whipped my hide and blamed it all on me. But you, you barely knew me but you weren’t bawling me out. I put your son’s life in danger and you risked your ass for me. I treated you so horribly those first few months but you weren’t deterred. Like that night at Paul’s place the same day we stole that car. I took advantage of your sweet nature—"

Sam sat down abruptly on the foot of the bed. "I’m sorry, Alli. I’m just going on and on, not making any sense. I really don’t know what I’m saying. I think maybe I was too happy with you and just waiting for it all to end. Like our relationship was too good to be true. Perhaps you felt that way also. Like you said in your letter. That’s why I just ran away. I thought you were different from everyone else… I found out you weren’t. Of course, now I know I’m wrong but—" Sam sighed, trying to relax. "I wonder if you ever really loved me and if I ever really knew you. If you ever really knew me. Well, basically, that’s what I’ve been up to. One thing I do know is that I miss you like hell. I’m a washout, college dropout. I just blew my scholarship and most of the money my mother left in her trust fund for me. I’m a screw up. What ever did you see in me? Do you still see anything in me?"

Allison chewed on her lower lip and stole a glance at Sam. She swallowed hard, trying to manage an appropriate answer. Sam didn’t seem mad, just curious and confused. The blonde shuffled over the bed to her stepsister and snaked an arm around the blue-eyed woman. "Sam, I love you. I’ve always loved you. What I saw, and still see, is a wonderful woman who needs love and trust. We complete each other. You underestimate yourself, Sam. You’re a much better person than I can ever be. You’re great with Allen, you’re blunt and honest, you’re just… you’re the only one for me." Allison hesitated, making sure Sam understood what she was saying. "It’s going to be hard now, to just pick up where we left off. But I’d like to try. Work things out."

Sam nodded mutely. "Me too." She sighed and put an arm around the blonde’s waist and pulled her closer in. "What’s up with the Helen thing anyway?"

"Oh. We broke up. She’s a good woman. She realized that I was still in love with you and told me to go after you. I’m not living with her much longer. I’m going to find my own place and try to have Allen come live with me. I’ll sue momma if I have to. No more tiptoeing around my mother. Now it’s time for hardball." Allison shook her head and tilted her head backwards, studying the ceiling. She returned eye contact with Sam. "Were you careful? With those women?"

Sam’s heart thundered in her chest and she looked into those honest, trusting green eyes. She couldn’t lie to the blonde. She turned sideways and held the younger woman’s hand in her own. "No. I wasn’t. I’ve always felt fine and it never mattered to me. I should get tested before we do anything." She reflected upon their brief encounter in the elevator at the hospital. "I’m sorry I put you at risk for a disease. I wasn’t thinking, but of course, that’s no excuse."

The blonde gulped. "I see. Okay. Have those tests. That’s a good idea. Just how many have you slept with?"

Sam hung her head, studying her companion. "I have no idea. A lot. Don’t really remember any of them." She looked away from the green eyes and focused on the carpet patterns. "I’m so sorry, Alli."

"Stop apologizing! We both made mistakes. We just have to move on. Learn and let live." Allison squeezed the dark-haired woman’s hand to emphasize her point.

"Yeah. Other than Helen, have you been with anyone?" Sam stiffened her upper lip and waited for the onslaught of jealousy and anger.

"Not really. Momma was always setting me up with this guy or that guy. Helen is the only person I’ve slept with. We were together for a long time. There’s Bob but I don’t count him." Allison hoped that the blue-eyed woman wouldn’t get overly upset at the mention of her former lover.

"Ok. Sexual history, covered. Seems like we’ve learned much today. What’s next?" Sam’s response was an unsuccessful attempt at lightening the mood.

"Where do we go from here? Are you moving back to the East Coast?" Allison studied the planar features, hoping that the answer was an affirmative.

"Yeah. I have nothing in LA. Just a lousy job that I can quit anytime. I don’t need to go back to get anything." Sam’s response was morose.

"Why not?" The blonde’s fair eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement.

"You’re all I need. Besides, all I have is a pet cockroach named Elvis, a Datsun hatchback, a bed, a paper plate or two. Crappy art supplies. That’s it." Sam spat disgustedly at the concrete remnants of the past few years. Time well spent, indeed.

"You lived like that for the past year?" Allison’s tone was incredulous and a silent nod was her answer. Sam tugged off her boots and socks and placed them in a neat row next to the bed. She wriggled back and rested against the headboard, motioning to the younger woman to join her. Allison rested her head on Sam’s chest and they sat in silence for several moments, enjoying each other’s essence.

Finally, Sam spoke. "I’ve made my decision. I think I made it when I got on that plane back here. I’m staying. I want to be with you, near you and Allen. I’m going to court you now. I’m also going to talk to Barry. Work things out between him and me. Tell Aunt Julia the truth about college. Will you go with me, Alli? Be my…support?"

Allison smiled and nuzzled the nape of Sam’s neck. "Of course. They won’t be too happy but they’ll be just glad that you’ve decided to come home and bridge the chasm between you and your father. I’m so thrilled myself." The blonde kissed Sam’s chin gently. "Who said I couldn’t court you, hmm?" She raised an eyebrow in mock indignance and giggled as Sam playfully tickled her.

"Ok. We’ll go both ways, then. I’m tired. We can finish this conversation later. We still have a lot to discuss. Let’s get some sleep and we can go talk to everyone tomorrow. Later today, whatever." Sam yawned and stretched out her frame, her joints and muscles creaking in protest. "Long day."

"I have nothing to sleep in." Allison sighed and shook her head, her blonde locks swaying gently.

The blue-eyed woman winked suggestively at her companion. "Since when has that been a problem?" She smiled to show she was just jesting and pointed to her duffel bag. "You can borrow a T-shirt. On me, it fits. On you, it’ll be a nightgown."

"Don’t call me shorty!" Allison laughed and grabbed a gray shirt from the bag. She went into the bathroom to change.

Sam quickly slipped out of her jeans and T-shirt, replacing them with an older shirt and boxers. She slipped under the covers and interlocked her fingers behind her head.

Allison reappeared, the taller woman’s T-shirt reaching her mid-thigh. The brunette whistled appreciatively at the slender and muscular legs. Allison paused at Sam’s side, swatted her shoulder, then kissed her on the cheek. "Good night." The blonde lifted the covers to the other bed and started to get in but was interrupted by a light flickering on and off.

Allison looked around and saw her blue-eyed companion mock-pouting. "Why don’t you come in here?" Sam lifted the covers and motioned inside. "I promise to be a gentleman. Don’t even need bundling!" Sam leered and ran a pink tongue across her lips. "Well, I won’t promise anything, but I’ll try. My hands just have a mind of their own." She winked at the flustered blonde, who quickly found her composure.

The younger woman set her lips in a haughty pose. "I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into, Samantha Cannizarro." She raised both of her eyebrows and scolded her companion. "Here I come!" She slipped into the covers and snuggled up to the taller woman. She found that they still fit perfectly into each other. Sam wrapped her arm around the younger woman and held her close, smelling her and sighing contently.

Allison shifted the brunette’s head until it was in a more comfortable position on her chest. She stroked the dark locks and mulled over the events of the past few days. She was wiped out, emotionally and physically. First, the shooting, Allen’s brush with death, Helen’s break-up, Sam’s return, now this. She felt indescribable joy that the dark-haired woman was back to give things another try. She kissed Sam’s hand, which was sprawled on her breast, and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, as incredible elation surged through her body.

Allison was dozing off herself when she saw a hazy shape at the foot of the bed. She jerked up, gasping at what she saw. Mickey stood there, sneering and repeating one line again and again. "That fucking dyke bitch. That fucking dyke bitch. That fucking dyke bi…" Allison screamed and sat upright, disbelieving of what she had just seen.

Sam woke up, grumbling at her interrupted slumber. She leaned over to her side and flicked the overhead lights on. Her dissent immediately dissolved at the look on the younger woman’s face. "What’s wrong, sweetie?"

Allison pointed towards the edge of the bed, her face ashen. Her fingers trembled with fear. The brunette looked around and saw nothing. "What?"

"I saw a ghost!" Allison’s lower lip trembled. "It was Mickey!"

"Oh, honey. Come on, it was just a nightmare. Don’t worry. I’m right here." She enveloped the green-eyed girl in her arms and hugged her tightly.

Allison tore herself out of Sam’s embrace. "He was really there! Repeating, ‘that fucking dyke bitch.’ I heard him!" She jerked around and looked frantically around the room. "I saw him at the hospital too. His head was…it was horrible! A yellow shirt saying, ‘Florida, here I come!’ and goodness. It wasn’t a nightmare. I saw him while I was wide awake!"

Sam sighed and rubbed the younger woman’s back. "You’re just feeling guilty. Those are just manifestations of your guilt, hallucinations, nightmares, daymares, whatever. He doesn’t exist anymore. He’s dead. The dead don’t come back to life."

"Oh Sam! I don’t know." Allison crooked her eyebrows in despair.

"Have you told anyone about Mickey’s death?" Sam’s blue eyes searched the fair features of her companion, wondering.

"No, I haven’t. I still feel badly about the whole thing. I wish I hadn’t killed him. I wish that it had never happened." Allison neglected to mention that her visions of Mickey had only started occurring after Sam’s return.

"I know. I know. I’m the one who introduced you guys." She shook her head and sighed.

"Sam, please don’t berate yourself. He met me beforehand, at the Addict. He could have followed me from there. Who knows. Please, it isn’t your fault. We need some closure." Allison’s shoulders slumped. "Have you thought about him? Dreams? Anything?"

"No, I buried him deep down inside, haven’t thought about him in ages. Try not to. Every time I do, I feel bad. What he did was reprehensible but there’s a part of me that just wants to remember him as the guy I was pals with. I agree with the closure thing, Alli." She heaved a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. "We can go set him up with something. Maybe a cairn or something at the parkway, some flowers. Whatever. See what’s up with his mother and brother."

Allison rested her head on the taller woman’s shoulder. It was reassuringly strong and solid and she knew that she was well cared for in Sam’s presence. "Sounds good. We’ll do that in a few days. The sooner the better."

Sam agreed and cocked her head towards the bathroom. "Well, since we’re up, I gotta go." She jumped out of bed and padded her way into the bathroom. After she had taken care of business, she studied her appearance in the mirror and washed her hands and face. She definitely had seen better days. Her lips curved upward as she thought about the woman who waited for her in a nearby bed.

Sam dried her hands on the threadbare motel towels but jerked back when she saw a condom, packaged with a grotesque shade of pink, on the floor. Gross. Damn motel people don’t clean up. She poked her head out of the bathroom with a twisted expression on her face.

Allison started at the look on her lover’s face. "What?"

Sam’s lips curled up in disgust. "Don’t go in the bathroom barefooted. A condom, along with Gods know what other germs, is on the floor. Eww. Thanks for letting me know."

Allison’s eyes narrowed at the odd report. The condom hadn’t been on the floor when she had used the toilet earlier. Sam also didn’t know that Mickey’s "calling card" had always been a condom, used or otherwise. She inwardly shuddered and rose to take a look at the object for herself. A condom indeed lay in plain sight. How could she have missed that? "I didn’t see that before."

"You must’ve just overlooked it. Now get back in bed ‘cause I need a pillow!" Sam grinned and dragged the blonde to bed, flicking off the lights in the process. They snuggled close and Sam rested her head on the younger woman’s chest.

Part 21

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