BOOK FOUR in THE GUARDIAN'S SERIES
Book One: A Guardian's Touch, Book Two: A Guardian's Love, Book Three: A Guardian's Passion
Disclaimer See Part 1
Feedback: Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, so feel free to drop a line or two at steinwillard80@gmail.com .
PART 10
Chapter 17
Clarissa slowly approached the bed but came to an uncertain stop when she saw the panic in the grey eyes. Damn, she was scared of her. Knowing this felt akin to a hot iron being rammed through her chest. Over the years since they were apart of all the expressions she had dreamt of seeing on Jessica's face, fear was never one of them. Ecstasy, love, happiness, desire, but never fear.
“Jess, earlier tonight I was going to tell you something very important but we were interrupted.”
She saw Jessica's eyes narrowing to slits and she heard the word liar echo through Jessica's mind.
“There was no one else in the room with us Clarissa, at least that I remember.”
Clarissa cringed inwardly at the skeptic tone she heard in Jessica's voice.
“Yes, you're right. But you were unconscious when our uninvited guests barged through the door.” She gestured to the bed. “May I come closer, please? What I need to tell you will take a while. Do you mind if I sit on the bed next to you?”
Jessica quickly looked towards Gabriella and when she looked back at Clarissa she was stunned by the raw pain she saw in the beautiful soft eyes.
“Hurting you would be tantamount to ripping out my own heart, Jess.” The blonde head bowed and when she looked up again a lingering sadness was in her eyes. “I love you so much.” She took a careful step closer. “Earlier this evening you thought of me as ‘your woman' .” She saw the look of absolute shock cross Jessica's face. “Yes, I heard your thoughts. And you were right I am ‘your woman' in every way. I belong to you with all of my heart and soul and because of that I will have to take the biggest gamble in my life ever. I will have to tell you who …what …I am and …and risk the chance of losing you …forever.” The anguish in the blonde's voice was almost impossible for her to bear. “I love you Jessica, with every fiber of my body. Please listen to what I have to say and please, my love, please try and understand my situation.”
At the ardent declaration of love, Jessica had closed her eyes. How she had wanted to hear those words over the past three years… Now, having heard them she was more confused than happy. Why did it have to come to this? How could her fairytale have morphed into a nightmare so quickly? She opened her eyes and with slight alarm noticed that Clarissa was a step closer than she had been a few seconds ago. She held up her hand to indicate that she wanted to maintain the physical distance as well as that she wanted to remain in charge of the situation. After all she was the injured party.
“What did you do to me?”
“I rendered you unconscious to protect you from a group of dangerous men.”
Frowning, she turned her head away from Clarissa.
“What is going on, Clarissa. What are you not telling me?”
A look of pure panic flashed in Clarissa's eyes before it was gone. She noted the quick glance Clarissa threw Gabriella's way before focusing her mesmerizing sienna eyes on her again.
“I'm immortal, Jessica.”
The statement was met with silence. Jessica could feel both Clarissa and Gabriella staring at her expectantly. Immortal? What does that mean? The only point of reference for her regarding immortality was the Highlander movies with whatshisname again…yes…Christopher Lambert. They lived long lives; amass vast fortunes and what else…? This surely is a joke. She felt anger spiking her blood.
“Don't waste my time Clarissa.” She pushed herself off the bed. “I'm leaving.” She hadn't even reached the door when Gabriella stopped her. The amber eyes were dark with an undecipherable emotion.
“She's telling the truth.”
“What? Pah, don't tell me you believe in this…this paranormal nonsense too,” she lashed out, a look of disbelief on her face. Gabriella had a level head on her shoulder. What could have happened to have changed that? Still, the amber eyes stared intently into hers. “Gaby…?”
Gabriella nodded and Jessica slowly turned to face Clarissa who was just standing there looking at them.
“Is it true?” Even as she asked the question, she could see the answer in the dark eyes. “What does it mean? Who are you?”
Clarissa maintained eye contact. “I'm a vampire, Jessica.”
This time the word echoed loudly in the silence. A vampire. A bloodsucker. A monster. Clarissa was a … monster. All the myths and folklore she had been fed through movies and books, rushed through her mind. Involuntarily, she felt herself taking a step back and jumped when she brushed against Gabriella. Swinging around, she fixed her ex with an anxious look. Was she one of them too? “Gabriella…” Her tone was pleading.
“No, Jess, I'm human.”
As if an afterthought, Jessica lifted her hand to her neck. Had she …? Was she going to become…?
Clarissa took a step in her direction and Jessica quickly moved behind Gabriella.
“Please… stay where you are.”
Clarissa felt her heart break at the horrified look on Jessica's face. It was hard to believe that just over two hours ago, those grey eyes were looking at her with absolute love. If only she could turn back time.
“I love you, Jess.”
The dark head moved from side to side, the grey eyes holding a haunted look.
“Please don't say that. It's…It's…It makes me uncomfortable.” Even to her own ears it sounded lame. Maybe because it was not what she'd wanted to say. She didn't want a monster to declare eternal love to her.
“I'm sorry you feel that way Jess. Maybe I should leave and let you process everything I have told you.” She slowly walked to the door making sure not to make eye contact with Jessica as she walked passed her, not wanting to see the look of horror in Jessica's eyes. She reached out for the door handle, but her hand stopped mid-air. What was she doing? Walking away from Jessica now was stupid. She tried it before and it almost killed her. She needed to see this through – even though it hurt like hell. She turned slowly and boldly met Jessica's eyes.
“No.” She saw the confusion in the grey eyes and closed the distance between her and Jessica.
“I love you too much to let you go without a fight.” She stepped even closer and gently brushed Gabriella aside. “I was a vampire when we met and made love. I was a vampire when we fell in love with each other. I was a vampire last night when you fell asleep in my arms and I was holding you. If I'd wanted to hurt you don't you think I have had ample opportunity to do just that?” With eyes burning intensely, she held out her hand. “You love me and I know you are strong enough to overcome your fear and give us a chance.”
Jessica looked at the outstretched hand and back up into the brown eyes. As terrified as she was of what Clarissa represented, she couldn't help but admit that she was right. She had fallen in love with Clarissa the vampire, though she was not aware of that then. She had rolled around with her in a dark barn. She had slept in her arms afterwards and then she…
“You did something to Greta, didn't you?”
Dejected, Clarissa dropped her hand to her side.
“She did not want to take no for an answer,” she said curtly.
“What did you do to her, Clarissa? She was totally out of it.”
“I just planted an illusion in her head to scare her off.”
Clarissa stepped closer and Jessica quickly held up her hand to stop her movement.
“Please…”
“No Jess, I will not give up on you. That first night with you…that was the most spectacular night I've ever had in over four hundred years.” She saw the grey eyes widening in disbelief but she ignored Jessica's reaction. “I have been so lonely until you stumbled upon me in the graveyard at Cleaver's Keep. I was waiting for dawn to break.” She quickly glanced at Gabriella. “I was going to end my existence.” She saw the shock in the amber eyes.
“Oh no…Clarissa,” Gabriella groaned and cupped Clarissa's cheek. “I didn't know.”
“I wasn't going to tell anyone.” She turned back to Jessica. “And then you came out of the dark and cast a bright light on me, on my burdened soul. I was spellbound. I followed you back to the castle and by the end of the night I knew I had to have you.” She reached out a shaking hand and gently brushed her knuckles over Jessica's cheek. The grey eyes were moist. “I fell in love with you the first time our lips met. It was the first time in four hundred years that I felt alive again.” This time a lone red tear streaked down Clarissa's cheek and she squeezed her eyes tightly.
The room was as silent as a tomb. Clarissa kept her eyes closed, refusing to see the condemnation in the grey eyes. The silence became unnerving, but still she kept her eyes shut.
“I…I'm so sorry Clarissa, I didn't know,” Jessica whispered huskily. “A full minute after you left my room I knew it was a mistake to have let you go.”
Clarissa opened her eyes slowly and more tears spilled over. She was shocked by Jessica's admission and even more so to find tears running down the photographer's cheeks. She gently wiped the tears away and stared at her damp fingertips in wonder.
“You are crying, Jess?” she said quietly.
“I guess I am,” Jessica said softly, her grey eyes roaming over Clarissa's face.
“You know what that means?”
Frowning lightly, Jessica shook her head. “Can't say I do, Clarissa,” she answered honestly. The dark eyes stared deep into hers for an intense moment.
“It means you must still feel something for me.” The beautiful brown eyes held a look of such intense pain and fear. “Please, give me another chance. Don't leave me.”
The soft plea did her in and Jessica found herself in Clarissa's arms. Her arms were wrapped tightly around the vampire's neck as she sobbed into her neck. Her grip tightened when she felt Clarissa's body start to tremble violently. They just stood there holding each other. No words were necessary. After a while Jessica stepped back and stared into Clarissa's eyes, their intensity almost blinded her. She slowly leaned forward and brushed her lips over Clarissa's. It lasted only a few seconds and when she pulled back, Clarissa's eyes were still closed. When they opened again, the breath got stuck in her throat. Never before had she been the recipient of such an exquisite look of love. Humbled by it, she shook her head in disbelief.
“How can you love me like that? Even after everything I've put you through? Am I worthy enough?” Her voice broke.
“Yes, you are and I will show you how much I love you everyday for the rest of your life.”
A soft sniffing sound behind them made them both turn. Gabriella was standing there with tears running down her cheeks.
“You have finally found the One, Jess,” she murmured.
Jessica looked at Clarissa and found her staring back at her with a look of adoration on her beautiful face. She tightened her arm around the Vampire's waist.
“Yes, I did.” She turned back to Gabriella. “No offense, but since when do you hang out with vampires?” She meant for it to be a joke, but her eyes held genuine curiosity.
Gabriella smiled and walked over to the door and pulled it open. Standing in the doorway was Trinity, her green eyes anxiously running over Gabriella before she stepped forward and wrapped her in a tight embrace.
“I too, lost my heart to one.”
Jessica's eyes grew so wide that Clarissa was scared her eyes might actually pop out. She gently reached out and pulled Jessica back into her arms.
“It's a long story, my love,” she said with a smirk.
“But…but I saw her…the sun…” She blushed at the amused look in the brown eyes.
“Vampire magic,” Gabriella said with a low chuckle and winked at Trinity. Trinity's green eyes were glowing as they rested on Gabriella.
“With you every day is magical, my love.” The remark earned Trinity a deep, breathtaking kiss and Jessica couldn't help but be transfixed by the intimate interplay between the two women. Gabriella pushed away from Trinity and grinned.
“They are terribly romantic, Jess. Believe me; you're in for a ride.” She slipped her arm around the green-eyed vampire's neck and flicked out her tongue to taste Trinity's lips. “And they are exceptionally good in bed too, as you should know by now.”
Jessica blushed and turning to Clarissa, she buried her burning face in her girlfriend's neck. Gabriella chuckled softly as she pulled Trinity behind her towards the door.
“We will find someplace else to sleep tonight,” she threw over her shoulder as she pulled the door open. “The room is all yours. Make good use of it.”
The door clicked shut behind a chuckling Gabriella and Jessica slowly turned to Clarissa.
“Don't mind her.” The brown eyes were infinitely tender. “We will go at our own pace. I have waited so long for you already no need to rush it.”
Jessica smiled back weakly.
“Are you reading my mind?” she said quietly, her grey eyes moving slowly over Clarissa's face.
The brown eyes darkened slightly. “No.”
“Thought so.”
Clarissa looked at her with obvious puzzlement.
“Are you telling me that you want…want me to read your mind?”
“At this very moment? Yes.”
Hesitantly, she nodded and effortlessly entered Jessica's mind. Her eyebrows shot up at what she picked from Jessica's mind.
“You are sure of this?” Her tone was soft and uncertain.
Jessica nodded and stepped closer, so close that only a sliver of air separated them. The dove grey eyes were intense. “We are three years overdue.”
“But…”
Jessica gently ran her fingertips over Clarissa's cheek, the look in her eyes apologetic.
“I know what I said earlier. It was based on unfounded fear. After all, isn't it the prerogative of a woman to change her mind?”
Clarissa smiled at her and nodded.
“Yes, it is.” She clasped the fingers in her hand and brought it to her lips, the dark gaze steady and serious. “But I don't think we need to rush this. I want our first time to be very special.”
She closed the distance between them and pressed her lips gently against Jessica's. “When we make love together again, I want to pledge my life to you.” She studied Jessica's eyes carefully and took a small step backwards. “Are you okay with that or do you think I am moving too fast?”
Jessica quickly closed the distance between them and rested her head on Clarissa's shoulder.
“I have to be honest with you Clarissa.” She leaned back to look into the brown eyes. “I am still rattled by your revelation and I don't know how I will work through it all.” She saw Clarissa's jaw tightening. “But I will. You are worth that much and more.” She placed a soft open-mouth kiss on Clarissa's lips. “To answer your question, if you hadn't asked me for something more permanent, I would've.” She looked at the window. It was still dark outside. “Shall we lie down together, before you have to leave?”
“Leave?” Clarissa echoed with a puzzled look.
“You know…vampire…dawn…all that stuff.” Jessica was looking anywhere but at Clarissa and she jumped slightly when she felt the soft touch on her cheeks.
“Look at me, beloved.”
Jessica almost smiled at the sound of the old-fashioned endearment, but at the same time she felt a warm glow of emotion spreading in her chest. Yes, she was Clarissa's beloved, and no one beside her will ever call her that. She turned to look into the tender dark gaze.
“I understand how confusing and scary the idea is to you. Don't hide it from me. I need to know because I need to help you through this. You are willing to give us a chance and I want to bring my side too.” She slowly traced Jessica's jaw line with her finger. “It is still very early but yes, I will have to leave for my liar in a few hours.” She grinned suddenly. “Thank you for reminding me. With the excitement of the evening I almost completely forgot about that.”
Jessica grinned back. “Then we don't have much time to waste, now do we?” She sauntered over to the bed and threw back the bedding. “There is so much I want to know about you.”
Warily, Clarissa approached the bed, her eyes very dark.
“Some of the things I have to tell you might change your opinion of me.” She closed her eyes tightly. “I'm scared you might change your mind about us.”
Jessica held her arms open and Clarissa stumbled into them.
“Let me be the judge of that, okay. Just be honest and don't hold back anything.”
All Clarissa could do was nod.