MY SISTER’S KEEPER

PART 16 (CONCLUSION)

By Mavis Applewater

For disclaimers, see Part One.

A very special thank you goes out to Joanne my over worked beta reader who made this series possible.

As always, this is for Heather.

Chapter Sixteen

Jenny kept running until her lungs were ready to explode; she was in the woods just past Lizzie’s childhood home. She released a horrific scream as she dropped to her knees. She had heard Lizzie’s frantic pleas behind her as she ran. She couldn’t make herself stop running, knowing that if she stopped she would be forced to face Lizzie. Before Lizzie had moved out of her apartment, the brunette had promised herself that no matter what Lizzie decided she would support her decision and do anything she could to keep their friendship. Now she realized that she’d been lying to herself. She honestly hadn’t thought that Lizzie would go back.

"Jenny?" Lizzie choked out fearfully from behind her. Jenny still couldn’t look at her. She wiped the tears from her eyes as her mind screamed at Lizzie to just go away and leave her alone with her pain.

"Go away," Jenny sobbed, her body aching.

"You don’t understand," Lizzie pleaded. Jenny could feel Lizzie kneeling down behind her.

Her skin prickled as she felt how close Lizzie was. She jerked her shoulder violently when she felt the blonde’s hand touch her. "Please just go," Jenny whimpered in a pitiful voice.

"Come with me," Lizzie pleaded.

"No." Jenny sniffed, her eyes remaining focused on the ground. "You’ve made your choice."

"Please?" Lizzie implored her weakly.

"Can’t," Jenny managed to choke out as she felt her throat closing.

Jenny’s body shook violently as she felt and heard Lizzie’s footsteps growing dimmer. Her hands clawed at the dirt as she fought the pain. ‘Just let her go; it’s for the best,’ her mind screamed over and over again. Her heart refused to listen, no matter how hard she fought to reconcile herself with the reality of what had happened.

Jenny felt like a wounded animal as she curled up under a large oak tree. "I don’t understand. How could she decide that going back is the right thing to do?" she whimpered as her mind replayed the time they’d spent together since Lizzie’s mother had assaulted her. They had laughed, talked, flirted, snuggled, and gotten to know one another again. For Jenny the domestic situation had erased the years and miles that had separated them for so long.

"What does this song mean?" Lizzie asked as Jenny washed the dishes from the dinner they’d shared. The brunette quirked her head and listened to the song that was playing on the radio. She had to laugh when they realized each of them had decided to listen to an oldies station. 'When did all my favorite songs end up on the oldies station?' She wondered as she listened to the lyrics of Band Of Gold carefully as she tried to decipher what was bothering Lizzie. "The lyrics don’t make sense," Lizzie explained. "‘Took me from a mother I had never known and on our honeymoon we slept in separate rooms.’ Hello? What is she talking about?"

"I don’t know." Jenny laughed as she wiped her hands with the dishtowel. "But it has a nice beat and you can dance to it," Jenny reasoned, chuckling at the scowl Lizzie cast at her. "What was that other song?"

"What song?" Lizzie responded evasively.

"You know the one," Jenny teased her as she began to wrap the towel between her hands. ‘The one you used to drive me completely insane about. What was it?"

"You were always insane," Lizzie teased.

"Only around you, short stuff," Jenny grunted. "Come on, what was it?" Jenny began to swing the towel in a threatening manner.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about," Lizzie innocently retorted. Her eyes grew large as Jenny started flicking the towel at her backside.

"Out with it!" Jenny demanded as she snapped the towel. "You were always whining about it until you drove me completely nuts."

"Okay!" Lizzie squealed. She darted across the living room as Jenny chased after her, snapping the towel against the blonde’s backside. Lizzie attempted to make a dash for the front door when Jenny captured her in her arms. Jenny held the squirming woman tightly as she began to tickle her.

"Say it," Jenny demanded as her fingers showed no mercy as they continued to attack the smaller woman’s rib cage.

"Copacabana!" Lizzie squealed out.

"Now see? That wasn’t so hard," Jenny gloated as she reluctantly released Lizzie from her grasp. Much to her surprise and delight, Lizzie didn’t move away; instead the blonde continued to lean into Jenny’s body.

"I still want to know," Lizzie asserted as Jenny groaned.

"I’m sorry I started this," Jenny grumbled as she wrapped her arms around Lizzie, pausing for a moment to take in the sweet scent of her hair.

"But I want to know," Lizzie demanded as she released a throaty chuckle and relaxed further into Jenny’s embrace.

"I want to know; I want to know," Jenny mimicked her.

"Come on, Jenny, aren’t you the least bit curious?" Lizzie whined. "Think about it; we know what happened to Lola, but who shot who? Did Tony shoot Rico or did Rico shoot Tony?"

"Ugh," Jenny growled.

"Fine. What’s for dessert?" Lizzie asked brightly as she leaned back and gazed into Jenny’s eyes.

"You are impossible," Jenny said with a hard swallow. She wondered what would happen if she closed the small gap between them and kissed Lizzie. Instead Jenny released her hold on Lizzie’s warm inviting body and stepped away from her. "I don’t think you deserve dessert," she teased the blonde as she moved even further away from her.

"Oh, what are you going to do? Spank me?" Lizzie innocently tossed out.

A sudden rush coursed through Jenny’s body as she stared at Lizzie. Both of them turned beet red as the implication of what Lizzie had said hit them. Each of them struggled to breathe as they became locked in an intense gaze. They each muttered a lame excuse that would give them distance from the other and the moment passed.

"How do you go from that to staying in the church?" Jenny muttered miserably. She tried to understand how Lizzie had managed to forget how unhappy she was in her vocation. "It doesn’t make sense."

Jenny was still thinking about Lizzie’s sudden decision as she wearily made her way back to her parents’ home. The stabbing pain in her heart increased when she was greeted by her parents’ worried expressions. "I’m fine," she lied as she picked up the bible that was resting on the coffee table. She had returned it to her mother, still not understanding why she had given it to her.

"Kate said she didn’t understand what was going on," her mother nervously informed her. "She said that Lizzie woke her up in the middle of the night and told her that they needed to see their mother and that she had to go to the convent. That’s all she knows."

"Doesn’t matter," Jenny mumbled out another lie as she clutched the bible to her chest.

"Jenny?" he father nervously began.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Jenny pleaded like a small child.

"Of course," her mother quickly responded.

"Thank you," she muttered out the weak response as she began to climb the stairs.

"Do you want to talk? Do you need anything?" her mother asked worriedly.

"No," Jenny mumbled once again as she headed towards her childhood bedroom, feeling the need to hide away in one of the few places she felt safe.

She closed the door behind her and tossed the bible onto the bed. She glanced over at the bedroom window. Snarling as she approached it, she offered a single digit salute before she yanked the curtains shut. "Hope you saw that, you pervert," she hissed before climbing onto her bed and curling up into a ball.

She sobbed uncontrollably as she wrapped her arms around her knees. As her tears began to subside, she spied the bible resting next to her. "What is it that you were trying to tell me?" she questioned absently as she unfurled her aching body and picked up the bible. Jenny once again began to flip through the pages before deciding to give the reference section in the back a try. She sneered as she went through the women’s names. In typical patriarchal fashion the women were only defined as ‘wife of’ or ‘mother of’ as if they did not possess any other historical significance.

Finally she came upon the name she was searching for - Rachel. Her crystal blue eyes widened with surprise as she read the short biography. ‘Rachel, wife of Jacob.’ Her heart was pounding; she frantically wondered if what she was reading meant what she hoped it did. The tears overwhelmed her as she snapped the bible shut. ‘Is it possible that Lizzie didn’t forget me? In some small way did she take my name in an effort to keep me in her heart?’ Her head was pounding as she tried to understand if it was really true. And if it was true and Lizzie had defied her vows by still carrying her in her heart, then why would she go back?

The persistent pounding of her head and heart made sleep impossible. Jenny was physically and emotionally spent in the morning as her father drove her into the city. Both of her parents had pestered her with questions and concerns all morning. Jenny refused to answer since she was at a complete loss as to what was happening. Somehow she managed to gather herself together and make it to work on time. She avoided Kate and Nuru’s constant inquires as to what was wrong. She was numb as she worked through her shift.

Finally it was time to call it a day; both she and her partner were grateful. All Jenny wanted was to go home and curl up into a ball until the pain went away. As she was changing in the locker room, Kate cornered her. "I don’t want to talk about it," Jenny muttered bitterly. "I just want to be left alone."

"I don’t understand what’s happening either," Kate carefully began. "But I need you to come with me."

"No," Jenny uttered as her tired eyes fluttered shut.

"I know that I don’t have any right to ask, but please come with me?" Kate gently implored her.

"No," Jenny repeated as she leaned her head against her locker.

"Please? She’s asked to see us," Kate pleaded helplessly.

Jenny just wanted all the pain to stop. "Fine," she conceded without understanding why she was giving in so easily. "It’ll give me a chance to say goodbye. Your mother robbed me of that the last time," she added bitterly. Kate watched Jenny in concern as she began to change. The tall brunette changed her clothes and gathered her gear without a single thought. She followed Kate out of the station house, her body moving of its own accord.

Jenny stared blankly out the windshield of Kate’s truck. She was lost in memories of Lizzie’s body and stolen moments of their youth. At the time they’d been certain that their love would last forever. Time proved to be their enemy; in the present everything was teetering on a vulnerable edge. Jenny tried to center herself as Kate started the truck and drove out of the parking lot.

Jenny was only half listening to Kate as they drove along the city streets. "I tried to talk her into postponing this for at least one more day," Kate tried to explain. "She just thanked me and smiled. Then she asked if I could convince you to come up today. She said that she needed to talk to both of us." Jenny took a deep sobering breath as she wondered if perhaps the meeting might just be a good omen. She quickly dismissed the small glimmer of hope. Lizzie was gone and Sister Rachel had finally taken her place. She needed to support her friend’s choice and begin to find her own way in life. Her heart had survived losing the blonde once; she silently vowed that she would once again endure.

Kate grew quiet as the trip continued. The journey to Saint Andrew’s was short and uneventful. Jenny and Kate found themselves drowning in an uncomfortable silence as they neared the convent. As they pulled into the gravel parking lot, Jenny spied Lizzie waiting for them, dressed in her black habit and standing on the stone steps of the aging building. She could feel Lizzie’s eyes on her as she stepped out of the truck. She was unable to return the blonde’s gaze, knowing that the sight of Lizzie dressed in her habit had already proved to be far too painful.

‘Where was the girl that I was so deeply in love with? Where’s the carefree woman who shared my home for the last few weeks? When did this stranger take her place?’ a voice from deep inside of her searched for the reasoning behind Lizzie’s actions. The voice that was speaking from her heart wanted to know what had happened to the new Lizzie, the woman who gloated after beating her at cards and snuggled with her at night. Where had she gone? Jenny’s steps were deliberate as she approached the nun, wondering whom she would miss the most. Jenny was uncertain if it was the young teenager she had given herself to so freely or the older wiser woman who had stolen a place in her heart. Jenny felt that if she had given the woman a chance, both of them could have managed to get past the sins and mistakes from their past and started over again.

Mother Agnes stepped out of the ivy-covered building and took her place by Lizzie’s side. "Thank you for coming," Lizzie calmly greeted them. Neither Jenny nor Kate could speak or look at the small nun. Jenny understood that Kate felt like a raw nerve.

"They’re waiting for you, my child," Mother Agnes instructed Sister Rachel.

"Thank you, Reverend Mother," Sister Rachel answered respectfully. She motioned for Kate and Jenny to follow as Mother Agnes ushered the nun inside.

They entered a cold dark hallway; Mother Agnes instructed Jenny and Kate to wait in the wooden chairs that lined the dim corridor. Mother Agnes escorted Sister Rachel through a door adjacent to the chairs Jenny and Kate were sitting in. As the door was closing behind them, Jenny caught a glimpse of stern-looking nuns seated in chairs that formed a circle around the room.

"It looks like a firing squad in there," Kate said tensely. "This reminds me of when she took her vows. It was in this musty old church. The novices marched past us and the other families dressed in white. Then as they entered the chapel these really big nuns closed iron gates behind them. There we were all crammed together in this tiny alcove watching the ceremony from behind the gates. I felt helpless. I knew what a mistake Lizzie was making and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Later it was explained to me that the separation during the ceremony was symbolic of how the novices were leaving our family and entering God’s. I haven’t been to church since."

"What do you think today is all about?" Jenny asked as she tried to understand why she and Kate were there.

"I have no idea," Kate grumbled. "All I know is that yesterday we had to see my mother and then Lizzie had to come here."

"What happened with your mother?" Jenny asked, eager to find something other than what was going on in the room across from them to focus on.

"I don’t know," Kate tersely responded. "I only lasted about three seconds in my mother’s company before I left her and Lizzie talking. I went to Dante’s and had breakfast. When I got back, Lizzie was sitting on the sidewalk waiting for me. She said Mom wasn’t going to seek help. That was it until we drove by your parents’ house and found you strangling Robby."

As the hours passed, Jenny could feel the fear rising inside of her; she began to pace up and down the hallway in an effort to keep busy and warm. Finally the door opened. Jenny felt a new rush of panic sweep over her as she watched a row of nuns file out of the room. Each of the elderly women appeared to be exhausted as if they’d done battle with the devil himself. Jenny feared that Lizzie had been punished for the attraction they’d shared since her return to Boston. Lizzie had already explained to her that feeling desire for something wrong was just as much of sin in the eyes of the church as acting on that desire.

"Sister Rachel would like to speak to both of you before you leave," Mother Agnes gently informed them as she stepped out of the room.

Jenny’s heart sank as she stepped into the room. Lizzie was kneeling on the bare floor with her hands clasped in front of her. The blonde’s eyes were shut and her head was lowered. ‘Why, Lizzie?’ Jenny silently screamed in anger.

"Sister Rachel," Mother Agnes addressed the kneeling woman firmly. "You may speak to your guests before you join us in the chapel."

Lizzie opened her eyes and made the sign of the cross before she stood. "Thank you, Reverend Mother," she quietly addressed her superior.

"Don’t be long," Mother Agnes cautioned her as she made her departure.

"Lizzie, how could you?" Kate blurted out as her anger took over. "Are you absolutely sure that this is what you want?"

Lizzie looked curiously at Kate and then Jenny as she took a cleansing breath. "Ladies," she began in a strong convincing tone before her face erupted in a mischievous smile. "I’m leaving."

"I know, for Zaire," Kate snapped.

"If either of you had just given me a chance to explain," Lizzie muttered with a hint of amusement. "I’m leaving," she repeated as they blankly stared at her. "The church. I’m leaving the church," she clarified. Jenny’s heart leapt as her jaw dropped open.

"What?" Kate stammered.

Once the reality had sunk in Kate and Jenny moved to give Lizzie a hug. "Not yet," Lizzie cautioned them as she stepped shyly away.

"I don’t understand," Jenny said in bewilderment. "If you’re leaving then why are you here and why do you still have to dress like a penguin and go to chapel?"

"This isn’t like quitting your job at Burger King," Lizzie scoffed with a sweet smile. "There’s a process involved. You don’t just say ‘I quit’ and walk out. I’ll need to remain here for a few more days and it’ll be difficult."

"Will they try to change your mind?" Jenny asked in concern.

"Some of my sisters will," Lizzie answered honestly. "The majority will not. They fail to understand why I’m not ashamed of my homosexuality. When I would go to confession, it took a great deal of courage to confess my desires for women. I would receive a stern lecture about the evils of being gay. Then I would have to perform a very harsh penance. I couldn’t receive communion since I wasn’t granted absolution. That certainly caused talk around the convent."

"Wait! You confessed so why couldn’t you receive communion?" Kate blurted out.

"I couldn’t," Lizzie dryly explained. "To be able to receive the body of Christ, I would need to be absolved for my sins. I can’t be absolved if I fail to feel remorse. I never felt guilt or remorse for the way my heart feels and I can’t lie about it either. This is not the vocation for someone like me. I don’t blame any of them. The Catholic Church teaches us that being gay is a sin. I don’t agree. And I’m not alone. For the most part these are very good women who do good work. They have a calling and I do not. I can’t stay."

"So what happens now?" Jenny asked as she fought to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"In a few days time, I’ll be an ex-nun on the loose and looking for a job," Lizzie explained brightly. "Which reminds me, Katie, would it be okay if I stayed with you until I get situated?"

"Of course," Kate exclaimed.

"I hate to break up this little party but I have to go," Lizzie reluctantly informed them.

A million questions buzzed around Jenny’s mind as she watched Lizzie and Kate exchange their goodbyes. She lingered behind in hopes as spending just a few moments alone with Lizzie. "Are you certain that this is what you want to do?" Jenny asked, needing to confirm that it was true and Lizzie would be rejoining the world and possibly her life.

"Yes," Lizzie responded with a firm conviction.

Lizzie’s emerald eyes held the taller woman captive as they stood there just looking at one another. "I think you should go before I get myself into any more trouble," Lizzie said in a quiet promising tone. Jenny wanted to reach out and pull Lizzie into her arms. She could feel the wave of energy passing between them. She stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets in an effort to keep her body at bay. "Just a few more days," Lizzie promised. "Then you and I will be free to talk."

Unable to trust her voice, Jenny simply nodded in response and walked out of the room. She felt like she was walking on air as she climbed into Kate’s truck. "I can’t believe it," Kate gleefully exclaimed as she started the truck. "So when are the two of you going to pick up where you left off?"

"You don’t waste any time, do you?" Jenny laughed heartily. She felt truly alive for the first time in days. "Lizzie is just starting her life over again. There may not be a place in her heart for me," Jenny carefully explained in an effort to caution both of them against hoping for too much too soon.

Over the next few days Jenny was filled with an eager anticipation. She kept nagging Kate about when Lizzie would be returning to the real world. "I don’t know," Kate shouted after the third day of Jenny’s pestering. "Geez, get a grip, Jacobs. If you ask me again, I‘m going to beat you senseless."

"I was just wondering if you’ve heard anything," Jenny lamely explained in an effort to defend her actions.

"Not since the last time you asked which was forty minutes ago. Now get away from my desk and get back to work," Kate scolded her.

Jenny was still running on nervous energy when she arrived at the station the following Friday morning. There was something about the way Kate smiled at her that sent her into overdrive. She bounced over to the tall blonde, wondering if she should risk her physical well-being once again. She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked at her supervisor expectantly. "I picked her up last night," Kate casually tossed out.

"Why didn’t you call me?" Jenny demanded. Her shoulders slumped as everyone in the police station stared at her. Kate laughed as Jenny blushed from her sudden outburst.

"I wanted some time alone with my sister," Kate explained. "I have a feeling that once the two of you start hanging out together, that I’ll need an appointment to see her."

"Kate, that isn’t true," Jenny argued in a much calmer tone. "Just because she left the church doesn’t mean that anything is going to happen between the two of us."

"Right!" Kate barked out with a loud laugh. "Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"

Jenny’s mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to think of a way to answer Kate’s question without sounding like a lovesick teenager. "What are your plans this weekend?" Kate asked her with a sly smile.

"Nothing, just doing a little laundry and hanging around my place. Why?" Jenny responded eagerly, hoping that Kate was about to invite her over and she would be able to spend time with Lizzie.

"That doesn’t sound very exciting," Kate teased her. "I, on the other hand, have a very full schedule."

"Really?" Jenny asked, wondering just where the conversation was heading.

"Yes, I have a date tonight," Kate informed her casually.

"Get out!" Jenny enthusiastically responded. "Who with?"

"Mitch Dunbar from the DEA," Kate answered as her face turned a light shade of pink. "And you don’t have to sound so surprised," she growled.

"Sorry, but it has been awhile," Jenny apologized. "So you and that tall dark hunk who worked on the Englewood case, huh? Have a good time."

"Speaking of having a good time," Kate started slowly. "Since I’m going out tonight, Lizzie will be left home all alone. Perhaps she could use some company?"

"You push too hard," Jenny cautioned her as her mouth suddenly dried up.

"What can I say?" Kate smirked. "I happen to think that the two of you belong together." Jenny shouldn’t have been stunned by Kate’s bluntness, yet it still caught her off guard. "I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other," Kate continued. "Jenny, I’ve never been blessed with having someone look at me the way you look at my little sister or the way she looks at you."

Jenny was unable to speak as the sudden reality hit home - Lizzie was free. She was afraid that if she just jumped in with both feet she could ruin what might be. She knew how she felt and what her heart was telling her. Discovering that Kate could also see just how deep her emotions ran frightened her. She could feel the blush creeping across her face. "I need to go," she finally blurted out. As she turned to leave, Kate grabbed her by the arm and guided her to the locker room away from prying eyes.

Kate pushed her down onto one of the wooden benches as she order the women who were using the room to take a hike. "Now hold on for just a moment," Kate began in a reassuring tone as she sat down next to Jenny. "I’m sorry if I put you on the spot or made you feel uncomfortable. You’re right; I push to hard. What I don’t understand is why you look like you’re going to bolt now that all the obstacles are out of the way?"

Jenny was fighting to control her erratic breathing as she tried to gather her thoughts. "What if it’s too soon or it isn’t meant to be?" Jenny whimpered like a small child.

"I find it really hard to believe that you’re getting a case of cold feet after everything the two of you went through for the past seventeen years?" Kate barked out.

Jenny was silent as she tried to understand why she was suddenly afraid to face Lizzie. "I do have cold feet," she confessed quietly. "Lizzie was everything to me. When I was ten she gave me my first kiss." Jenny laughed as Kate’s eyes widened with surprise. "Relax. Like I said we were ten at the time. It wasn’t a lover’s kiss with a major tongue wrestling; it was sweet and innocent and after it happened we both pretended that it didn’t. She was my first real crush. She was my first sexual experience. For the first half of my life Lizzie was my life. And then she was my first heartbreak."

"And now?" Kate encouraged.

"And now I have no idea what she means to me or what I mean to her," Jenny explained. "The only thing I’ve been certain of since Lizzie’s reentered my life is that I never got over her. I’m afraid that what I’m feeling is just a memory. And if what I’m feeling today is real, what is she feeling?"

"I don’t know what to tell you, Jenny," Kate gently offered. "Your fears and concerns are valid. Who knows what Lizzie’s feeling now that she’s changed her life? I do know one thing; you’re not going to find the answers by avoiding her." Kate patted her knee before she stood and left her alone in the locker room.

Jenny remained seated on the cold wooden bench, lost in her thoughts until Nuru barged in and informed her that it was time for roll call. Jenny was still lost in her thoughts as Nuru drove them around the streets of Boston. "Want to talk about it?" her partner offered.

"No," Jenny answered her with a woeful sigh. Then something caught her eye. "Pull over."

"What is it?" Nuru asked hurriedly as she scanned the streets for trouble.

The patrol car hadn’t come to a complete stop when Jenny threw open the door. "I’ll be right back," she said quickly as she jumped from the squad car and darted towards the flower stand she’d spotted.

"I have a permit." The elderly Asian man scowled as Jenny approached him.

"Cool," she said with a shrug. "I was just looking for some flowers."

"Oh?" he said with a toothy smile.

"Has someone been hassling you?" she asked as she looked over the buckets of flowers. The man simply grunted in response. "Tell you what. Why don’t you help me pick out something nice, and while I’m looking, you can tell me all about it?"

The man spoke rapidly, mixing questions about the lady Jenny was shopping for and telling her about two of her brother officers who visited his stand every day. Jenny had to force the man to take her money once she’d selected her flowers. "For me?" Nuru gushed once Jenny climbed back into the squad car.

"What do you know about Dunne and Miller?" Jenny inquired as she processed what Mr. Akira had told her about the two patrolmen who visited him each day.

"Tell me you didn’t buy flowers for one of those idiots," Nuru groused.

"Of course not." Jenny chuckled. "My love life might be confusing at the moment but I think that hopping the fence would be a drastic course of action. Drive me over to Carrington’s apartment."

"Uh huh." Nuru beamed as she pulled out into traffic. "Plan on wooing a little blonde per chance?"

"Per chance." Jenny hummed as she inspected the bouquet of roses and irises.

"Hold on!" Nuru suddenly blurted out. "She’s a nun."

"Not anymore," Jenny delightedly informed her partner. "She hung up the habit."

"Ah, how sweet," Nuru sighed. "You’re trying to romance your high school sweetheart."

"Don’t tell me that under that butch exterior of yours lies a hopeless romantic?" Jenny teased.

"Bite me," Nuru scoffed at the notion. "What does this have to do with Dunne and Miller?"

"Mr. Akira told me that they stop by every day and ask to see his permit then question him about his name and address. The guy was born here and they keep asking him for a green card," she summarized her conversation with the flower vendor.

"Sounds like them," Nuru grunted in response. "You should ask them how God made black people. It’s one of their favorite jokes."

"Charming," Jenny sneered. "How is it that these guys are allowed to wear a badge?"

"Wake up, girl; some things just don’t change," Nuru sadly responded. "Any chance that Mr. Akira will file a complaint?"

"No, he’s worried that they’ll try and get even with him," Jenny answered in defeat.

"He’s right," Nuru concurred. "Okay, drop off your posies and then we’ll head back to the station. I bet Carrington might have one or two ideas on how to help Mr. Akira out."

Jenny was nervous as she stood in front of Kate’s apartment door. Her palms were sweating as she tucked the flowers behind her back and knocked on the door. The wait seemed to take an eternity; in reality it was a scant few moments before Lizzie opened the door. "Hi," the blonde greeted her with a brilliant smile.

Jenny felt as if she was falling as their eyes locked. "Uhm…here," she stammered as she pulled the flowers from behind her back and shyly handed them to the small blonde. Lizzie stared at them with a stunned expression. "They’re a welcome home present," Jenny quickly recovered.

"Thank you." Lizzie smiled as she inhaled the delicate fragrance. "No one has ever given me flowers before," she absently confessed as her eyes drifted back up and once again captured Jenny’s gaze.

"No one?" Jenny asked in disbelief.

"No." Lizzie shrugged.

"Well, then I’m proud to be the first," Jenny boasted as her knees trembled and her mouth dried up. "Uhm…I understand that Kate’s going out for the evening?"

"Yes, she has a date. The hussy," Lizzie teased as her brow scrunched in confusion.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place for dinner or something?" Jenny managed to blurt out before she lost her nerve.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Lizzie laughed at Jenny’s bumbling demeanor.

"Okay," Jenny repeated. "How about meeting me at my place about 8:30?"

"I’ll see you then."

"Okay," Jenny repeated once again, only this time with a sense of confidence.

"Oh Jenny," Lizzie called out just as the brunette turned to leave.

Jenny watched as Lizzie shyly approached her. "Now that I can say this, I just want you to know that you look incredible hot in that uniform," Lizzie whispered as Jenny blushed. "I’ll see you tonight."

"See you tonight." Jenny beamed as she bounced back down the stairs and rejoined her partner.

"I take it that things went well?" Nuru chuckled.

"I have a date." Jenny beamed before her smile vanished. "At least I hope it’s a date. Oh brother, it’s never easy with this girl."

"Relax." Nuru laughed. "At least with Sister Rachel, I mean Liz, you know what you’re in for."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember what’s-her-name? Tina or was it Tracy?" Nuru laughed.

"Trudy!" Jenny supplied as her eyes bulged at the memory. "Yes, another woman who’s on my list of females that should come with a warning label."

"She wasn’t that bad." Nuru laughed as she drove them back towards the station house. "How could you have known that she was a pyromaniac?"

"Trust me, her fondness for fire was one of her nicer quirks," Jenny groaned.

"Pity. That woman was drop dead gorgeous." Nuru sighed lustfully.

"Definitely, and really good in bed," Jenny agreed. "I had no idea she was a total fruitcake until we went to dinner that night and she set the table on fire."

Nuru was still laughing at Jenny’s past plights when they stepped back into the station. Kate gave them a curious look when they asked to speak to her alone. They found an empty office and Jenny explained Mr. Akira’s problem, carefully omitting that she’d stopped to buy flowers. Kate listened carefully before responding. "I’ve had problems with those two before. Without a complaint there isn’t much I can do except inform I.A. again," Kate grumbled.

"And what happens to Mr. Akira?" Nuru griped.

"Let’s just wait and see what I.A. has to say," Kate cautioned her. "They might want to talk to both of you."

"Fine. Just not here," Jenny agreed. "It’s hard enough being out of the closet around this place without being seen talking to the rat squad."

"I’ll work it out," Kate promised before she sent the two of them back out into the streets.

The rest of her shift was uneventful. Jenny felt a sudden panic when Kate explained that someone from Internal Affairs wanted to talk to her. She was already pressed for time since she had to rush home and make dinner for Lizzie. Jenny suddenly realized a way to make her timetable work without letting Kate know about her and Lizzie. She wasn’t being petty; she just didn’t want to deal with Kate’s interference. All she wanted was for the night to be about Lizzie and her without any of the pressures that had been surrounding them. She instructed Kate to have the agent meet her at 84 Bennington Street, which was an Italian restaurant not far from her home. Kate looked confused as she agreed. "That’ll teach you to meddle," Jenny gleefully muttered under her breath. She understood that Kate really did have their best interests at heart, but she didn’t want any outside interference tonight. She called the restaurant and placed a large takeout order. She was not only killing two birds with one stone; she thought Lizzie might enjoy the evening more if Jenny didn’t cook. She feared that she was so nervous that she would end up burning whatever she attempt to cook.

Jenny smiled when she saw a familiar face sitting at the bar awaiting her arrival. "Sam," she greeted her old friend from her days at the Academy.

"So, Jacobs, how are you?" He smirked. "Are we doing dinner?" he added hopefully.

"Sorry, I’m picking up," she apologized.

"Bummer," he sighed. "So are you willing to have a drink with a member of the rat squad? Did you really refer to my department that way?"

"Of course I did," Jenny quipped as she took a seat and ordered a club soda from the bartender.

"Let me guess; you and Wendy have something hot and heavy planned tonight?" he teased.

"Uhm…Wendy and I split up."

"Good, never liked her," Sam said in relief.

"Why didn’t anyone tell me?" Jenny mumbled.

"Hey, if you’re single now, I have a cousin . . ."

"No," she flatly refused as she sipped on her soda water.

"Just a thought," he eagerly offered as he gave her a playful nudge. "I guess I should get down to business. My department already has a file going on Dunne and Miller. I’m going to do everything I can to keep you and your partner out of this."

"I appreciate that."

"I know how hard it is to turn in a fellow officer," he reassured her. "Even harder when people find out. Even if they agree that these guys shouldn’t be getting away with what they’re doing, they’ll still give you a hard time."

"Can you help Mr. Akira out?" she asked.

"I’ve already spoken to him and I’ll be working with him at his stand for the next few weeks," Sam explained. "I’ll be posing as his son."

"His son?" Jenny questioned. "Hold on, Seung," she said, addressing him by his given name. "How can you be his son since you’re Korean and I’m pretty certain that Mr. Akira is Japanese?"

"He is." Sam chuckled. "Thankfully, when it comes to blockheads like Dunne and Miller, we all look alike."

"Well, good luck," Jenny offered as her order arrived and she paid for it. "After this is over, why don’t we get together for dinner? And don’t bring your cousin."

"Have fun with whoever tonight." Sam laughed as she made her departure.

Jenny arrived at her apartment and began to get dinner ready. She thought about Sam’s words and decide that she would have fun tonight. She had no intention of making this night about seduction; all she really hoped for was an enjoyable evening with someone who was once again becoming her best friend. Whatever else did or did not happen that evening was up to the fates.

Jenny had just finished changing into a pair of black jeans and a cream-colored blouse when there was a knock on the door. Jenny quickly checked her appearance. "Okay, a little dressy but still casual," she blew out before she went to answer the door. She peeked quickly through the peephole and found Lizzie’s distorted image awaiting her. She opened the door, completely stunned by the sight that greeted her.

The small blonde looked nervously up at her. Jenny was far too overwhelmed at the way she was dressed to notice Lizzie’s uneasiness. The blonde was clad in a tight pair of jeans and an emerald silk vest that made her eyes sparkle. "Wow," Jenny finally blurted out as she continued to gape at the blonde.

"Can I come in?" Lizzie nervously asked.

"Of course," Jenny stammered as she stepped aside. She couldn’t help but watch the sway of Lizzie’s hips as she moved past her. She also couldn’t help noticing the way the smaller woman’s jeans clung nicely to her backside.

Jenny’s eyes remained focused on Lizzie’s body as she kicked the door shut. Lizzie jumped slightly at the sound of the resulting bang. "Here." Lizzie’s voice trembled as she handed Jenny a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag. Jenny reluctantly tore her gaze from Lizzie to inspect the bottle of champagne the blonde had offered her.

"Spirits!" she exclaimed. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Maybe," Lizzie answered with a nervous chuckle.

The bottle slipped from Jenny’s fingers as their eyes met. She placed it down on the table as she held Lizzie’s gaze. Suddenly she had all the answers to every question that had plagued her for almost two decades. She could no longer contain her emotions. "I love you," she confessed, surprising both herself and her guest. Jenny hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that, but she did. She had finally said it and it felt good. Except that Lizzie stood there simply looking into her eyes. Everything was out in the open and Jenny stood there in the quiet stillness, feeling exposed while she awaited Lizzie’s response.

With a gentle smile Lizzie quietly whispered her answer, "I love you too. I always have, Jenny." The brunette didn’t waste a moment as she quickly closed the distance between them. She leaned down and kissed the lips that she’d been craving. The heat from their kiss melted Jenny’s heart. Lizzie gasped as they broke apart. "Well, that answers one question," Lizzie panted.

"What’s that?" Jenny murmured.

"I was wondering if tonight was a date or not," Lizzie softly explained.

"It is now," Jenny asserted as she reached down and cupped Lizzie’s face in her hands. Looking deep into Lizzie’s eyes, Jenny became lost. She knew in her heart that this was truly forever. She guided Lizzie’s face towards her and gently bushed her lips. The passion surged from deep inside of them. Jenny pulled Lizzie closer to her as she kissed her again and again while her heart pounded wildly. She felt Lizzie’s lips part; knowing that it was an invitation, she brushed her tongue against the blonde’s soft lips once again. Their tongues danced together as Jenny slid her hands down the nape of Lizzie’s neck. Her hands explored further; her body was on fire as she slid one hand behind Lizzie’s back. Her other hand glided down and cupped the blonde’s breast.

The cool silk of Lizzie’s vest under Jenny’s touch electrified her fingers. A shock ran through her. They were panting heavily as they broke free from the fiery kiss. Jenny could barely catch her breath. As she drank in Lizzie’s beauty she became intoxicated. Her hand was still caressing the blonde’s breast. She could feel Lizzie’s nipple becoming erect against her fingers. The combination of heat from Lizzie’s body and the coolness of silk overpowered the brunette. No longer able to contain herself, she reached down and tore open Lizzie’s vest. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard the clicking of buttons as they scattered across the floor. Jenny’s fingers drifted down to the clasp in the front of Lizzie’s bra; she released it quickly, freeing the smaller woman’s breasts.

She brushed the material aside so she could see her lover’s body. Jenny ran her hands over Lizzie’s firm breasts, teasing her nipples with the tips of her fingers. Jenny loved the feel of Lizzie’s body responding to her touch. "Yes," Lizzie moaned as her head fell back. Jenny kissed the blonde’s exposed neck. Her kisses grew in intensity as she worked her way down Lizzie’s supple neck to her strong shoulders. Her tongue traced its way to Lizzie’s breasts. Jenny felt Lizzie’s arms wrapping around her body.

Jenny lifted her head and was captured in a smoky emerald gaze. They began kissing once again as they stumbled towards the bed. They fell onto it and Jenny covered her lover’s body with her own. Her lips retraced their way down the blonde’s neck to the supple valley of her cleavage. She ran her tongue along the swell of Lizzie’s breasts and the blonde wrapped her arms and legs tightly around her.

As her body covered Lizzie’s, Jenny’s mouth began to tease her nipple. She felt Lizzie’s hips arch against her body. It had been far too long since either of them had felt such an uncontrollable passion. Lizzie moaned with desire, driving Jenny to the edge. An inner voice was warning the brunette to slow down. Jenny ignored it as her body and heart took control. Her mouth tasted Lizzie’s breast hungrily. Jenny murmured in delight as she feasted upon her lover’s breast. She could feel Lizzie’s body moving beneath her own. Soon she began to kiss her way down Lizzie’s body. As she kissed Lizzie’s stomach she could feel her shudder. Lizzie gasped as Jenny began to unbutton her jeans. Slowly Jenny lowered the blonde’s jeans and underwear down her body as she kissed every inch of newly exposed flesh.

Jenny tossed her lover’s clothing aside. She paused to admire Lizzie’s body and slowly ran her hands over the beautiful naked form lying before her. Overcome with emotion, Jenny felt a single tear fall from her eye. As she wiped the teardrop from her cheek, Lizzie reached up and captured her hand.

"Jenny, are you alright?" Lizzie asked lovingly.

"Yes," Jenny said with a smile. "It’s just that you’re so beautiful," she spoke softly as she continued to run her fingers across Lizzie’s soft skin. She had dreamt of touching Lizzie this way for such a very long time, perhaps longer than she ever realized. "I’ve spent my whole life looking for you," she confessed as the realization struck her.

Jenny leaned down and kissed Lizzie, hoping her kiss would speak for her. As their bodies became one, Jenny knew that Lizzie understood not only the passion she felt but the promise she was offering as well. Jenny felt Lizzie pulling her blouse from her jeans. Her lips left Lizzie’s as she raised her body from her lover’s, still straddling the blonde’s naked body. Lizzie reached up and gently caressed Jenny’s breast. Jenny felt her body responding to her lover’s touch. She watched as Lizzie’s strong fingers unbuttoned each button on her shirt carefully, just as she had done so many years ago.

Jenny bit her lower lip, as the blouse was slipped off her body. Old passions merged with new desires. She was shaking as she stood and slowly removed the remainder of her clothing. "I did like the what you wearing very much, but I have to confess that you look so much better in nothing at all," Lizzie said softly as she watched the tall brunette undress.

Jenny couldn’t wait any longer as she lowered her naked body to Lizzie’s. She was driven by the desire to feel Lizzie’s wetness embracing her own. As their bodies touched, they shivered as each of them gently placed a thigh between the other’s legs. Their hips began to circle in rhythm. Their excitement built into a frenzy of passion. Jenny’s hand caressed Lizzie’s body, feeling its way across the blonde’s hips. She moved her own body so that she could touch Lizzie’s wetness.

Lizzie opened herself to Jenny as she called for the brunette to touch her. Jenny slid gently into Lizzie’s wetness. Lizzie raised her hips against Jenny’s hand with a frightening urgency. "Oh, Jenny! Yes, more," Lizzie cried out. Jenny responded to Lizzie’s pleas by stroking her deeper and faster. She could feel Lizzie’s body shudder beneath her. She wanted the blonde completely. She knew that she had never desired any woman as much as she desired the woman she was making love to. Jenny needed to taste Lizzie’s sweetness and drown in her passion. She kissed her lover hungrily before her mouth began to worship its way down Lizzie’s body. Jenny heard Lizzie gasp as her tongue slid along the swell of the blonde’s breasts before tasting the valley between them.

The feel of Lizzie’s desire brushing against her skin as the blonde released needy whimpers encouraged Jenny to continue her exploration. Her mouth teased and tasted her lover’s quivering flesh as she blazed a determined path down her lover’s body. She heard Lizzie release another gasp as Jenny’s tongue trailed across the inside of the blonde’s thigh. Jenny was savoring each drop of Lizzie’s desire as the blonde opened herself even further. Lizzie gently pressed against the back of Jenny’s head, silently telling her what she wanted. Jenny took her into her mouth, her tongue teasing and tasting Lizzie’s nectar with a fierce desire. She could hear Lizzie calling out her name as the blonde’s body shook in ecstasy. Lizzie cried out again and again as her body arched even higher. With one final scream, Lizzie collapsed against the bed.

Jenny held her lover as the last waves of passion slipped from her body. As Lizzie’s body stilled, she slipped her touch from her lover’s warm wetness. Jenny could hear Lizzie moan softly as her touch left her. Jenny rested her head against Lizzie’s thigh, her long dark tresses tickling the blonde’s skin as she kissed her trembling flesh. ‘I could stay this way forever,’ Jenny thought. She sighed with pleasure as her fingers traced the inside of Lizzie’s thigh. Jenny knew that this was meant to be.

"I had forgotten," Lizzie whispered, still not in control of her voice.

"Forgotten what?" Jenny asked as she raised herself up so she could look into her lover’s eyes.

"I had forgotten," Lizzie repeated, "what it’s like to be with someone that you’re in love with."

"I know," Jenny responded as she smiled down at Lizzie.

Jenny curled up next to Lizzie and took the smaller woman in her arms. As they rested in one another’s embrace, Jenny listened to the sound of Lizzie’s heart beating. After a moment she sat up again and looked down at her lover. "Do you think we would have stayed together?" she asked seriously. "I mean, if Robby hadn’t done what he did, do you think we would stayed together back then?"

"I don’t know, Jenny," Lizzie sighed as she caressed Jenny’s arm. "Please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say; it’s just that teenage love has such a short shelf life."

"I know," Jenny agreed with a smile. "We probably would have drifted apart. We were so young."

"I do know one thing," Lizzie said as she gazed deeply into Jenny’s eyes. "I loved you then and I love you now. But you’re not the same person you were. The woman you are now truly holds my heart."

"I feel the same way," Jenny agreed as her hands began to trace the supple curves of Lizzie’s body. "I loved the girl you were, yet the feelings I have now are for the woman you’ve become."

"You are so beautiful, Jenny," Lizzie whispered as her emerald eyes drifted down Jenny’s body. "Hey, where’s that champagne?"

"I have no idea." Jenny chuckled as she looked around in bewilderment. Her quest inevitably led her back to Lizzie’s body. Lizzie reached up and kissed her deeply. Jenny’s lips parted and Lizzie eagerly accepted the invitation. Jenny had forgotten the magical way that Lizzie could please her with just one kiss.

Jenny felt Lizzie’s hand cupping her breast. She moaned as her body moved against Lizzie’s. The brunette’s body was on fire as Lizzie’s hand slipped from her breast and gently ran down her body. She shivered as Lizzie touched her and Jenny opened herself to her touch. "Yes," she moaned as she felt Lizzie inside of her. This is what she wanted. This is what she needed. Feeling Lizzie inside of her touched a part of her soul. Her hips began to thrust demandingly against Lizzie’s hand. Her head was swimming as their passion grew. "Oh, Lizzie, please don’t stop," she begged. There was a faint ringing in her ears as flashes of crimson filled her mind. ‘This can’t be happening! Not so soon!’ her mind screamed before all thought left her and she was no longer capable of thinking. A cry escaped from deep inside of her as her body tensed and arched against her lover. She could feel herself falling into Lizzie’s arms.

Jenny trembled in her lover’s embrace, unable to believe that she’d climaxed so quickly. Jenny cleared her dry throat as she lifted her body. "I was supposed to looking for something, wasn’t I?" she mumbled. "Champagne, right?"

"I do like the way you search for things," Lizzie teased her.

"Table," Jenny choked out as she finally spied the missing bottle.

"We could misplace it again," Lizzie teased. Jenny laughed as Lizzie rolled her over and climbed off the bed. "Wait here," Lizzie said as she stood on shaky legs.

"Are you kidding?" Jenny laughed again. "I don’t think I can walk."

Jenny watched Lizzie’s body in the darkness until the blonde disappeared into the kitchen area. She listened to the shuffling and clanging coming from her kitchen as Lizzie continued her desperate search. "Here we are," Lizzie said triumphantly as she returned. She smiled as she clinked the two champagne glasses together. The ringing of crystal echoed through the darkness. Lizzie picked up the bottle of champagne before returning to the bed. Jenny watched as Lizzie placed her cargo on the nightstand. Then Lizzie pulled back the covers and guided Jenny up to the pillows.

Jenny sighed in contentment as Lizzie climbed in next to her and began to unwrap the foil and wire from the cork. Lizzie popped open the champagne bottle, catching the cork in her hand. Jenny squealed when the cold bubbles splashed over her naked body. "Oops. I’m sorry." Lizzie laughed as she placed the bottle on the floor. "Here, let me help clean that up," she whispered seductively. Jenny swallowed hard as she caught the fiery look in her lover’s eyes. Using her tongue, Lizzie cleansed Jenny’s body as she licked away each and every tiny bubble.

Jenny couldn’t believe that once again she was ready or how quickly her body had reached the pinnacle of ecstasy. Lizzie’s tongue worked its magic down her body. Jenny could hear herself moaning in pleasure as she once again parted herself for her lover’s touch. Lizzie took her gently and slowly as Jenny’s hips rocked with ecstasy. Lizzie took her time, murmuring with delight as she enjoyed the gift that Jenny was offering. Jenny felt her thighs shaking uncontrollably as she called out Lizzie’s name. Her body rose against Lizzie’s teasing. The waves of passion overtook her as she gripped the bed linen. She clenched the sheets so tightly that she tore them from the mattress. Sweat rolled down her body as she fell against the now-bare mattress. Soft pleasurable groans escaped her lips as she tried to catch her breath.

"Come here," Jenny called to her lover. Lizzie slowly made her way up Jenny’s body, placing soft kisses along the way. Jenny took the blonde into her arms and held her tightly against her body. She never wanted to let the smaller woman go again. Electricity flowed between them from being so close. Jenny rolled Lizzie over so that they were facing one another as they began to kiss. Her fingers touched her lover gently. Without realizing what she was doing, her fingers drifted until they instinctively found their way to Lizzie’s wetness. Jenny’s desire grew as her lover’s body responded to her touch. Lizzie softly called out Jenny’s name as the brunette entered her. Jenny suckled her lover’s neck as she felt Lizzie’s touch mirroring her own. The brunette opened her body to Lizzie’s touch. She felt Lizzie gently caressing her wetness as she dipped further into blonde’s passion. They kissed as their hands and bodies moved in a passionate rhythm.

Much later they were cuddling in bed while they sipped champagne and talked quietly in the darkness. Despite the dark room, Jenny could still see her lover’s emerald eyes watching her. "Can I ask you something?" Jenny asked as she ran her fingers through Lizzie’s short blonde hair.

"Anything," Lizzie readily agreed.

"That first night, you know, the first time we made love." Jenny paused for a moment. "How did you know? I mean, how did you know what I wanted when I wasn’t really sure myself?"

"I didn’t," Lizzie sweetly answered as she placed a tender kiss on Jenny’s cheek. "I mean, not at first anyway."

"You didn’t?" Jenny responded in a puzzled tone. ‘How can that be? Lizzie had been so confident that night,’ Jenny pondered.

"I didn’t," Lizzie repeated with a light laugh. "I was so very afraid. Jenny, I had desired you for so very long. Remember my date at my sweet sixteen party?" Jenny nodded in response. "Did you ever wonder why I dumped him a few days later?" Jenny nodded once again. "I broke up with him because during my birthday party all I could think about was you."

"I never knew," Jenny responded. "I guess both of us were really good at hiding our feelings."

"The first night we were together I was terrified," Lizzie continued. "I thought if you knew how I felt, you wouldn’t want to be near me ever again. I was so glad your bedroom was dark so I could hide my face. I couldn’t wait for you to hand me that towel. All I wanted was to bury my face in it so I could hide my shame."

"I felt the same way," Jenny confessed. "It seems so silly now, how we felt so long ago. If that was the way you felt, then why did you kiss me? Other than that quick peck we shared when we were little kids, nothing had happened before that. So why that night?"

"I caught a brief glimpse of your face in the darkness," Lizzie responded with a sweet sincerity. "There was an all too familiar glimmer in your eyes. They were a reflection of my own. That’s when I knew. Still, I couldn’t be positive. I decided then and there to take a very big risk. When I finally touched you for the first time, I knew that it was right."

"You have no idea how happy I was and still am that you decided to take that risk," Jenny purred.

"I am too," Lizzie said. "After that night I knew that there was no turning back."

"I’m still amazed that neither of us knew anything about sex, not really anyway, and somehow our bodies just knew what to do." Jenny noted with a shy smile.

"They still do," Lizzie offered in a husky tone as she drew Jenny closer to her.

Jenny leaned in and was just about to capture her lover’s lips with her own when a familiar pitter-pat outside of the window stopped her movements. It was a familiar comforting sound. "Listen," she said as she listened to the steady rhythm. "Lizzie, it’s raining." She held the blonde tighter as they listened to the rain brushing against the window. "I think that’s a very good omen," she offered with a brilliant smile. "So tell me, Miss Carrington, does the rain still have the same effect on you?" Lizzie looked up at Jenny with a smoldering gaze. The blonde answered Jenny with a fiery kiss that stole the brunette’s breath away.

They became lost in the feel of the other’s touch as they began a long delayed journey together. Neither of them was certain as to what the future would offer, but they were confident in the knowledge that they had finally found what each of them had been seeking.

The End

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