DISCOVERIES PART 5
By D.virtue
“ Sounds good, I am a little famished.” Xena stated accepting the offer.
“ My Lord? Doesn’t your Consort know how to cook for you?” Shatara said taking
the advantage to throw a sarcasm at Diana.
Diana stopped in midstride while heading to the table and taking a deep breath
she came back with....” For your information, I not only can cook in the
kitchen, but I am better in the bedchambers.”
Diana then strode past both women and followed the servant to the table set up
in another room. Xena smirked and followed after Diana. Shatara nodded her
head and when they arrived in the other room Xena went to sit by Diana, but
Shatara made another offer.
“ My Lord, you shall have the seat you normally sit in, you belong at the head
of any and every table.” Bowing her head as she held the chair out for Xena,
Xena altered her course and sat down.
“ For the love of Zeus woman....get a backbone.” Diana said with contempt
directed at Shatara but the words deflected onto Xena.
“ What does that mean Consort? You think I don’t deserve to sit at the head of
the table?” Anger flashing in her eyes.
“ Xe...Xena, that’s not what I meant, you know how I feel about you, and what
I think about what you deserve, of course you should sit at the head of the
table, it’s just that Shatara’s kissing up is getting on my last nerve.”
“ You could take some lessons from her in what I like and expect Consort?”
Xena said with irritation registering in her voice.
“ Excuse me?” Diana asked not sure of what she had just heard.
“ You heard me Consort.” Xena stated flatly.
Diana cut her eyes to Shatara who had a smug smirk on her face. Obviously at
Xena’s anger at her. Diana chewed her lips and then looked back at Xena who
was still glaring at her.
“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you love.”
Xena then said...” I accept , don’t let it happen again. “
“ Yes My Lord.” Diana said as she ran her hand through her hair thinking ...”
it’s going to be a long night.”
“ Good girl. Now Shatara let’s eat.” Xena said giving a command.
“ Yes My Lord, your wish is My Command.” Shatara emphasized as she bowed and
then clapping her hands the food was brought out and served starting with Xena
and then Shatara and finally Diana.
Shatara clapped her hands again and this time a woman servant stepped forward
and said in a humble voice.
“ Honored guest, my Mistress has ordered me to sample your food to allay any
concerns you may have about your meal?”
“ You mean your a food tester?” Diana asked surprised.
“ Yes she is, don’t tell me you don’t have food testers for My Lord?”
“ She doesn’t believe their necessary, but I do have food testers even with
her’s despite her objections.” Xena explained.
“ You mean you would rather something happen to My Lord then have someone test
her food? Your something else little beauty.” Shatara said with astonishment.
“ I...” Diana started to try and defend herself, but then thinking better of
it she said...” Never mind. Let’s just eat, shall we?”
“ My Lord?” Shatara said returning the subject to the servant who stood at
Xena’s side ready to test her food.
Xena tilted her head and the woman took sample bites from everything on the
plate as well as a drink from the Goblet. The woman was about to leave after
Xena bowed her head, but Xena stopped her and said....” Now her’s.”
The woman looked at Xena and bowing her head she went around to sample
Diana’s, who at first was ready to stop her, but then thought better of it,
seeing how Xena had ordered it.
After she had sampled the food the servant was dismissed, and Xena and Shatara
begun to eat as they carried on what seemed like an endless conversation.
Diana sat looking back and forth between the to, and then she thought about
Nebula’s words and she flinched at the thought.
“ I can’t believe this.” Diana said out loud thinking she had thought it,
until she heard the conversation stop abruptly.
Looking at the two women she knitted her brows at them.
“ You can’t believe what Diana?” Xena asked somewhat surprised at the comment.
“ What?” Diana asked.
“ You said you can’t believe this? What can’t you believe?”
It was then that Diana realized she had said it out loud.
“ Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about something.”
“ What? “ Shatara asked trying to goat Diana into saying something she would
get scolded about.
“ Nothing.” Diana said curtly. Glaring at Shatara.
Xena however knew it was something and she would find out what it was later.
In the meantime she said, “ It’s been a long day Shatara, I think My Consort
and I will start on our way back.”
Diana was happy to hear this, she stood up immediately. But Shatara made
another suggestion that appealed to Xena.
“ My Lord, rather than making the long track back to your campsite, why don’t
you stay as my guest. There is plenty of room, and I would be honored if you
took me up on the offer, I would love to get to know you again.”
“ No...that’s ok, but I....” Diana started , but was cut off by Xena’s raised
hand.
“ Thank you Shatara that is very considerate of you.” Xena stated as she
accepted the offer.
“ My Lord?” Diana started once again, but once again Xena’s hand came up to
quiet her.
Shatara’s eyes lit up once again at Xena’s acceptance of her offer. “ Great My
Lord, I’ll have my servant show your Consort to your room.”
“ Fine.”
“ No that’s ok, I think I’ll wait for My Lord to turn in.” Diana said
disagreeing.
“ Yes, I’ll be up in a bit, go and get ready for me.” Xena ordered.
“ But?” Diana started.
Xena whirled around to face her and said in an agitated voice, that is the
third time you have spoken back to me, I suggest you follow the servant to our
chambers and get ready for me.” Xena whispered within inches of Diana’s face.
Diana stood chastised once again in front of the woman who made her intentions
clear, but she dared not push Xena any further. Lowering her eyes, from Xena’s
intense gaze, Xena then stood back up and turned Diana and gave a swat to her
backside the same way she had done once before.
Diana let out a gasp of air, rather than a yelp of pain, as she headed up the
stairs following the servant. She did not look back mainly because of the
embarrassment she was feeling.
Diana went to the chamber and was lead to the bath where she washed up and
then went and put on a night gown that was provided by the host of the castle.
Diana thought about refusing it, but then she thought maybe she would have to
check on things, and it was better to be dressed for a confrontation than
naked.
Diana sat by the window looking out. The view was nice, she could see mostly
everything below her, but she was happy that she could not see the land where
Xena’s palace was going to be placed.
Xena in the meantime had made herself comfortable, and was talking once again
with the very attentive Shatara.
“ So how long have you been here Shatara?”
“ a few decades.”
“Really?” Xena said not surprise at the news, despite the youthfulness of the
young woman.
“ Yes, after I thought you were killed and I couldn’t find your body, I
wandered around for a while and then I ran into another warlord, who I used to
form another army and I went after Outus and his men and I killed all of them,
after Outus told me you were indeed dead by his hands.....” Shatara’s words
were cut off by the lump that had formed in her throat, as tears rolled down
her face.
Xena’s heart went out to the young woman for the pain she obviously felt at
the thought of having lost her to deaths hands.
“ Well Shatara, I’m not dead, as you can see, I was hit on the head and
thought to be dead, when I awoke, my body was broken by what obviously had
been my body having been thrown over into a ravine. It took me a while to
regain my strength and memory. When I did, I looked for you, but by then you
were long gone.” Xena recalled.
Shatara went over to Xena as she sat on the sofa chair, and she went to her
knees in front of Xena as she looked up into her eyes with pain and lost and
hope and desire. Xena looked deep into Shatara’s eyes, and she shook her head.
Shatara lowered her head as more tears fell from her cheeks. Xena swallowed
hard, and then leaning forward she lifted Shatara’s head up and said in a
gentle voice.
“ Shatara, I know you still have feelings for me, it’s obvious, and I have to
admit, I never thought it was possible any longer for anyone to stir my
passions but Diana, but you have, but I can not act on that, My heart belongs
to her, and I will not betray that. I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.” Xena
said with some sadness in her voice.
“ I understand, but...it wouldn’t be like you were bedding me, if you allowed
me to.....” Shatara said as she gave Xena a lustful gaze.
Xena rolled her head once again, as she felt the surging of her dark passion,
a passion that not even Diana had seen before.
“S.h.a.t.a.r.a... I have not allowed that part of my passion to show for a
long time.”
“ Then allow me to tend to that side of your passion, and Diana can tend to
the otherside?”
“ Shatara, I don’t think that’s a good idea...at all.Diana would not like it.”
“ My Lord, since when have you let anyone dictate to you what you wanted to
do, or with whom? It seems to me she has taken the very spirit of who you are
and made it into a weaken version, one that she wants to tame and eventually
control.” Shatara said using her seductive voice.
“S.h.a.t.a.r.a.....I need to go, I can’t go there again, at least not without
Diana.”
“ My Lord I understand, but I can tell you she won’t, I know you’ve had this
side of your passion buried deep, but it’s awaken now, now that you’ve seen me
again, and there’s no burying it again, besides why should you have to, it’s a
part of who you are, she claims to love you, but how can she if you can’t even
share a major part of yourself with her? I hope she will My Lord, but if she
doesn’t I will and happily.”
Shatara then stood up and once again placed a passioned filled kiss to Xena’s
lips, this time Xena let it continue for a moment longer before she broke it.
“ Goodnight My Lord.” Shatara said with a smirk on her lips.
Xena on the other hand had a look in her eyes, that made her eyes seem even
more depthless. She tracked Shatara’s movements up the stairs, as she stood
and licked her lips once more of the lingering sweetness.
Xena then shook her head and strided up to the bedchambers that was offered to
her and Diana, lead by one of the servants. Once Xena got there she entered
the room and looking towards the bed first, where she expected to see Diana,
she exhaled a breath of air in frustration that Diana was not there waiting
for her.
“ Consort?! “ Xena called as she strided further into the room.
“ Xena?” Diana answered as she came out of the powder room with the gown on.
“ What are you doing?” Xena asked as she looked up and down Diana’s clothed
body.
Diana knitted her brow and asked...” What? You told me to come to the
chambers.”
“ No, I told you to come and get ready for me.” Xena corrected.
“ I am.” Diana answered back.
“ Really? Xena inquired as she begun to stalk around Diana.
Diana followed Xena with her eyes as Xena moved behind her.
“ Since when has your being in a nightgown been considered being ready for ME
Consort?” Xena whispered sarcastically in Diana’s ear.
Diana’s heart started beating faster and she heard the agitation in Xena’s
tone.
“ I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a good idea to be nude in a strange place
without you with me.” Diana said trying to explain.
“ If I were worried about something happening, I would not have accepted the
offer...right?”
Diana looked back at Xena and then turned forward once again and said...”
Right.”
“ Ok, then get ready.” Xena ordered as she gave Diana a slight push towards
the bed.
Diana moved forward and slowly she took off the gown with her back to Xena.
Xena stood watching and just as the gown slid slowly over Diana’s behind Xena
inhaled and moved forward silently, as her eyes had that quality to them
again.
Just as Diana was crawling on the bed, Xena caught Diana around the waist and
Diana’s behind was at Xena’s jewel.
“ Uh...Xena?” Diana questioned at being caught in such a sudden way.
“ Consort, I have to tell you.....you know how to remove your clothes in such
a sultry way....oooo......just wonderful.” Xena purred into Diana’s ear.
“ I’m glad I please you.” Diana said still somewhat unsure.
“ Oh....I am, so much so that I want to share something with you
Consort....Diana.” Xena said lowering her voice to a sing song contralto.
“ Really ? What?” Diana asked as she let her head fall back on Xena’s
shoulder, thus letting Xena have fuller access to the part of her neck that
Xena was kissing and nipping at.
“ I want.....ah....make love to you...ah...” Xena drawled into Diana’s ear. as
she kissed it and then returned to Diana’s neck.
“ Hmmm....I’m up for it love.” Diana said as she started to lean further onto
the bed, only to have Xena pull her back to her and rubbing her jewel against
Diana’s behind, as she continued to kiss at Diana’s neck and shoulders.
“ Xena?” Diana asked even more confused than when Xena first started.
“ Diana I want you...” Xena continued purring in Diana’s ear.
“ Xena you have me.” Diana said reminding Xena.
“ Nooo......kitten, I want you, I need you .”
“ Ok.” Diana reassured.
Xena then made her body form the natural phallus and thrusting it into
Diana’s flower Diana grunted at the initial forceful entrance and then Xena
begun to thrust deeply into Diana.
“ haaa....haaa.haaa.hhaaa...” Diana gasped at each thrust.
Xena then said as she closed her eyes for a moment....” I love that your
always wet and ready for me kitten.”
“ Always.” Diana confirmed.
Suddenly Xena stopped and whispered into Diana’s ear once again the same thing
she had only moments before.
“ I want you, I need you Consort.” Xena murmured as she sucked on Diana’s neck
once again.
“ Ok Xena, you have me. Diana stated again and once again she started to try
to lay upon the bed, but again Xena held her to her.
Xena then pulled out of Diana slowly while she took a handful of Diana’s hair
in her hand and turned her head so that she could claim her lips. Xena pushed
her tongue deep into Diana’s throat as she feasted on the sweet recesses of
Diana’s mouth, and Diana feasted on Xena’s sweet tongue.
After a few minutes of that, Xena broke the kiss and then asked in a husky
voice.
“Kitten....have you ever been made love to in another way?”
“ Hmmm....what do you mean Xena?” Diana said feeling the effects of Xena’s
kiss as she always had.
“ I mean have you ever been deflowered back here?” Xena asked as she touched
Diana’s tight virginal orifice.
Diana jecked slightly, and then she relazed once again when Xena kissed her
neck and begun rubbing her flower with the hand that had just been wrapped in
Diana’s hair only moments before.
“ No.” Diana purred as she continued to enjoy Xena’s caressing.
Xena’s eyes lit up at the news and she asked another question just to be
sure.’
“ Never kitten?” Xena asked.
“ Hmmm....never love.” Diana purred back.
“ Hm...And I do love you kitten, you know that?”
“ Yess..... I know.” Diana confirmed.
With those words Xena sucked the soft skin of Diana’s neck into her mouth and
begun to mark it with her mouth.
“ AHHH!!!! Diana whimpered as she shivered in Xena’s arms.
Xena then moved the instrument up to Diana’s virginal orifice, and the moment
she put it against it, Diana breath caught for a moment and then Diana said
thinking it was a mistake in aim.....” Your not there anymore love.”
Xena didn’t answer. The only sign that indicated she had heard Diana was the
concealed narrowing of lit sapphire eyes. When Xena touched the area again
and begun to push, Diana’s mind registered and she tried to move her bottom
away, but Xena held her firmly.
“ Xena? Diana said with some anxiety sounding in her tone.
“ It’s ok kitten, I want you....I need you....pleaseee.....?”
Diana was now paniciked that Xena would do it.
“ Xena?! Please don’t do this to me? Please? Please?” Diana said struggling to
get free as well as control the tears that were threating to fall.
“ Diana, you said you would follow me where I lead, well I need you to follow
me now, I want you too....pleaseee?” Xena said huskily and needfully.
“ Please.......Love? Please......?” Diana pleaded as she continued to feel
Xena pushing against her.
“ Please kitten let me share this with you?” Xena pleaded right back as she
begun to see where this was going.
“ I can’t....at least not yet, please ?” Diana said trying to control the urge
to dig her fingernails into Xena’s arm, to try and loosen her grip.
Xena then stopped pushing against it and moving back down she entered Diana’s
flower and pushing Diana so that her upper body was flat on the bed Xena
thrusted passionately into Diana until they both screamed their ecstasy.
Diana then was allowed to crawl up on the bed and she curled into a ball and
tried to keep from crying at her rejection of Xena. Xena in the meantime got
in the bed on the otherside and rolling over onto her side to face away from
Diana, Diana took it as Xena was angry with her for not allowing her to take
her.
“ Xena?” Diana called, hoping to talk to her about it.
“ Forget about it Consort, go to sleep.” Xena said somewhat curtly.
Diana covered her mouth and buried her head in her pillow as she let the tears
roll into it. Xena heard Diana’s sobs and she cursed herself for showing this
part of her passionate need to Diana.
The next morning both Diana and Xena awoke around the same time and after a
few awkward moments of silence Diana said....” I hope you slept alright?”
Xena gazed at Diana and saw the sincerity and she rendered a half smile at
Diana and simply said...” Fine. And you?”
“ alright.” Diana said with a shy smile of her own.
Xena then swung her legs out of the bed and stretching her muscles she then
went into the powder room to get cleaned up and dressed, when she came out
Diana was actually surprised to see Xena dressed, but she didn’t say anything
instead she went into the room and did the same thing.
When she came out Diana stood fixing her leathers and then she looked up at
Xena to find her studying her, and then Xena looked away. Diana dropped her
eyes and she started to say what she had started to say last night, but once
again Xena stopped her.
“ Xena we have to talk about this.”
“ Why? It’s not something you want to share with me.” Xena stated matter-of-
factly.
Diana’s words failed her, so all she could say was....” We...we.. should get
back to camp?”
“ You go....I think I will stay here and talk to Shatara for a bit.” Xena
stated simply.
“ Xena?” Diana said hearing the need and hurt.
“ I’ll be along later, besides you’ll have a lot of things on your mind than
having to entertain me.” Xena informed.
Diana walked over to Xena and taking Xena’s hand in her own she brought it to
her mouth and kissed it, and then she brought it to her chest and let the
tears that had formed roll down.
“ Xena....I love you soooo....very much ...it hurts...to think that I let you
down.”
Xena took a deep breath and then she raised Diana’s chin up to look her in the
eyes.
“ YOU HAVE NOT LET ME DOWN DIANA, you are my world, I never want to cause you
to doubt my Love for you, I should have never .....” Xena started then caught
herself and decided not to pursue the statement. Anyway, I love you just as
much as I always have, that will not change.”
“ Really?” Diana said hoping it really was alright.
“ Yes.” Xena stated.
“ I love you Xena.” Diana exclaimed as she wrapped her arms tightly around
Xena’s waist.
Xena then wrapped her arms around Diana and kissed the top of her head. But
there was a look in Xena’s eyes that showed the need still. The two women
broke the embrace and Xena smiled and asked out of concern...” Are you ok?”
“ Yes, you?”
“ Fine.” Xena said as she turned to head out the door so that Diana did not
see the lie in her eyes.
Diana walked by Xena’s side, looking at her at times to see if there were any
signs of disappointment in her face.
“ Diana I’m fine, really.” Xena said reading Diana’s mind.
Diana blushed and then took Xena’s hand in hers and walked holding it. Xena
squeezed Diana’s hand indicating she understood. The two women went down the
stairs and was met by Shatara.
“ Leaving so soon My Lord?”
“ Actually I was seeing Diana off, she has to get back to work, but I’ll join
her later.” Xena said directing the last part at Diana for her reassurance.
“ Oh, your staying then?” Shatara said excitedly.
“ Yes. Oh, Diana you forgot your sword.” Xena noticed.
“ Oh, I guess I’m still not use to it, I’ll go and get it.”
“ No, I’ll go, I put it up, I know where it’s at, be back in a few minutes.”
Xena said stopping Diana as she turned and strided back up the stairs.
Once Xena was out of sight, Shatara turned to Diana and said....” Your some
kind of Consort.”
Diana turned to look at her and asked...” What does that mean?”
“ It means, little beauty, you have to much pride.”
“ Pride? I am proud of myself, if that’s what you mean?”
“ No, it’s not, I mean you claim to love her with your heart and soul, and
yet....you can’t be what she wants or needs.”
“ I don’t know what your talking about.” Diana said defensively.
“ Don’t you?” Shatara challenged.
“ What is your point Shatara?!” Diana said tired of the game.
“ My Point is little beauty, that Lord Xena’s needs and wants vary constantly,
and if you want to keep her, you had better learn to be who she wants you to
be.”
“ That doesn’t make sense, I already am what she wants and needs.”
Xena made it back to the stairs when she heard the conversation going on
between Shatara and Diana, she thought to make her presences known but decided
to see where the conversation was going.
“ Really? Is that what you let yourself believe?”
“ Shatara I’m warning you, get to the point.”
“ Aha, again you only hear and see what you want to see, or maybe it’s exactly
what Lord Xena said.....you are a very naive child.”
Diana didn’t say anything she just waited for Shatara to continue.
“ Lord Xena told me how you too met, she also told me what she saw you as at
first glance.”
“ And?” Diana said inpatiently.
“ And little beauty....she saw you as a slave that first time, then as a
pleasure slave, and then as time went on she saw you as a Consort, and finally
a bonded one. Little Beauty how well do you think you know Lord Xena?”
“ I know her better than anyone.” Diana stated confidently.
“ Oh, really? And how do you account for me?”
“ What do you mean?”
“ I mean, it’s obvious Lord Xena is attracted to me, and yet you seem to be
surprised by it.”
“ Well I am surprised, She nevered mentioned you before.”
“ Do you know why?”
“ I can only assume because you were from her dark past? And she didn’t see
the need to tell me about you.”
“ Hmmm...is that how you see Lord Xena’s past? As dark?”
“ Yes, but so does she.”
“ True Lord Xena’s past is dark in some ways, but there is a side to her that
has to be dealt with now that it has been reawakened.”
“ And I suppose your going to tell me?” Diana slurred.
“ DON”T!” Shatara scolded. Don’t think you know me to disrespect me, I’m
trying to help you little beauty.”
“ Oh yeah, right, tell me another one! I may be naive about some things but
I am no where near a fool, you have all but thrown yourself on MY WOMAN and
yet you stand here trying to tell me your just trying to help me...give me a
break, I don’t want or need your help when it comes to dealing with Xena, and
I would appreciate it if you just minded your own business, and leave MY
PROPERTY ALONE!” Diana hissed back.
Shatara stood for a moment listening to the irrate woman and then in a calm
voice she said....” Making Lord Xena happy is my business, and it should be
yours as well, what I am telling you you need to hear, so if you want to get
angry, then that’s your business, but I will have my say and then what you
choose to do after that is up to you.”
Diana glared at Shatara who simply raised a brow at her, which to Diana’s
surprise reminded her of Xena.
“ Fine! Have your say, and then I don’t ever want to see you again.” Diana
warned.
“ Well I can’t promise that, but we’ll see little beauty. Anyway, the reason
Lord Xena never told you about me was because of another side of her passion.”
“ A dark Passion?” Diana interjected.
“ NO! It’s not the passion that is dark, nor is it the need, but the lack of
nourishment to them can present as a darkness.”
“ What does that mean?” Diana aked frustrated at the riddle type statements.
“ It means that if you don’t summit yourself to becoming whatever Lord Xena
needs you to be then that passion and needing side will eat away at her. Grant
it she will continue to love you and even adorn you, but she will soon realize
that you are only satisfying half of who she is, and she will begin to take it
out on others...that is the darkness, not the passion or the need. You are
suppose to be her everything, Lord Xena once told me there were two types of
people in the world, and along the way ...I learned she was right, it took me
years to learn what she already knew.”
“ And what two types are there?”
“ You don’t know?”
“ Actually I do, but I want to hear yours.”
“ Ok, She said there are those to Dominate and lead, and there are those who
are to be dominated over and lead. Lord Xena is of course the first, and we of
course are suppose to be the latter, but you want to try and buck that, you
don’t want her to Control you, or dominate you...but little beauty it is WHO
she is, and if you want to be truly happy with her, I suggest you lose some of
that pridefulness, and stubborness, because it can only lead you to a very
painful end.”
“ Is that a threat?” Diana asked eyes narrowing.
“ I don’t mean that type of end, I mean your back end. Lord Xena is pure and
simple WILL. If you haven’t noticed by now that fact, then you obviously are
only seeing what you want, She heals her body simply by willing it to heal,
she controls her emotions, simply through her will, she commands thousands on
thousands of MEN and women simply by using her will, what she wants she can
and usually does get by using that will. She told me that she wanted to break
your will that first time you two met, to break yours and bend you to hers, do
you see why she is who she is, do you see why you have to be what she wants
you to be? Can you understand this little beauty? Get over trying to break her
of her will and Control over you, for to do so, would be to break Lord Xena,
strip away everything else from her and what you are left with is her WILL,
and I promise you this little beauty, it’s like trying to fight an uphill
battle against an endless rain of boulders being poured down on top of you.
Impossible. You have your own power, I feel that, but don’t fight against her,
otherwise I’ll be waiting with open opens for her.”
“ I’m sure you will.”
“ Yes I will. I’ll tell you this also little beauty.....Lord Xena would love
to have a threesome with you and me making love first and her watching, and
then we making love to her, and then she making love to you while I made love
to her.”
Shatara added with a lustful look in her eyes.
Diana was now blushing for a number of reasons one of which was because she
was pissed at Shatara, and also at herself for not seeing these things before,
or not wanting to see them, and the other for being shocked.
“ That’s all I have to say ....for now.” Shatara informed Diana.
Diana just stood glaring at her and then she turned to head for the door when
she heard Xena’s voice humming a song. Diana shook her head to try and calm
herself before she turned to face Xena, taking a few deep breaths and doing a
quick meditative chant to herself she calmed herself just as Xena
said....”Diana? Your not leaving without your sword or without saying goodbye
to me are you?”
Diana turned around with a small smile on her face and strided over to Xena
and said....” I may leave without the sword, but I would never leave without
saying goodbye to you love.” Diana purred as she brought her hands to Xena’s
cheeks and pulled her in for a searing kiss.
Xena staggered from the embrace and then begun to feast on Diana’s wonderous
mouth, the embrace lasted for a bit until Xena felt she would take Diana right
there and then on the floor if she didn’t end it, so with that thought she
broke the kiss and Diana’s cheeks were flushed from the passion she was
feeling and her eyes had gone sapphire.
Xena gazed deeply into Diana’s eyes and with a wick smile coming to her face
she said....” I’ll see you later Consort, stay ready.”
“ Always love.” Diana exhaled back as she cut her eyes to Shatara.
“ Hmm...interesting....your intune to Lord Xena, and yet....you aren’t.”
Shatara stated unimpressed and turned and strided towards the door to open it
for Diana.
Diana watched her and then turned back to Xena and simply said, I’ll see you
later.” And gave Xena another taste, then she turned and strided out the door
with her sword having been sheath by Xena doing their passionate embrace.
Diana gave Shatara a final glance and then strided out of the castle with some
of Xena’s soldiers waiting to escort her back, but Diana did not feel like
taking a day to get back to the camp so once she was out of sight of the
castle she threw one of the travellers out and she and the others went through
and came back to the camp.
Xena turned to Shatara and said....” I really should be angry with you.”
“ My Lord, I only spoke the truth to her, I do want to see you happy, even if
it isn’t with me.”
“ But you gave her the impression that I do want to be with you?”
“ That too I think is true My Lord.”
“ Is that right?” Xena said thoughtfully.
“ Yes, My Lord.”
“ Hmm...anyway...” Xena started as she turned to walk into the living area
they had sat in the day before, with Shatara right at her side. “ What made
you decide to tell her all of that?”
“ I know she didn’t meet your need or want last night?”
“ Well I won’t push this on her if that’s what your thinking , it was a
mistake to even try to go there with her. I thought I had buried this part of
me deep enough to never see the light of day again.” Xena said somewhat
resigned.
“ My Lord it may have been buried but it is always a part of who you are,
there are two halves to your passion, and before you saw me again, you were
content to live and satisfy only that one half of yourself, not because you
had forgotten, but because you were trying to make her happy, you didn’t want
to scare her off with the more aggressive side of your passion, I’m sure you
have let glimpses of that passion out with her, especially during those times
of battlelust, but I know that even then, because of who you are, you
concentrated your efforts on being who she wants you to be. But not who you
are, I’LL even go as far as to say that you’ve told her she knows you better
than anyone, which you honestly believed base on what you let her see? What I
don’t understand My Lord is why did you bond with her, if you couldn’t even
show a whole side of yourself?”
“ Maybe it’s not for you to understand?” Xena said curtly.
“ Maybe, but I would like to know, if you even know?”
“ I know. I made her My Bonded Consort because I love her.” Xena said simply.
“ I see that My Lord, but you also loved me, so I ask you again why her?”
“ Because Shatara, I felt complete with her,, I love her smile, her laughter,
her innocences when she looks at life, her knowledge, her skills, her
competitiveness, her fire, and the obvious reasons of her being the most
beautiful young woman that I have ever seen.” Xena beamed.
“ Yes My Lord she is that, but she has yet to surrender to you.”
“ True, but with time I know she will.”
“ But what if she doesn’t, then what?”
“ then I will have to be a little more convincing.”
“ But why go through all of that, when there is someone who is willing to be
what and who you want?” Shatara said as she once again went to sit at Xena’s
feet.
Xena closed her eyes for a few minutes to clear her head as she felt Shatara
begin to massage her feet.
“ What are you doing Shatara?”
“ Just making you more relaxed My lord while we wait for breakfast to be
served to us in here.”
“I see. Anyway, I will go thrugh it because I love her. Besides, I buried it
once, I’m sure I can do it again.” Xena stated trying to convince Shatara, as
well as herself.
“ You will never be able to bury this side of you again now that it has come
to the forefront of your mind, even now it is consuming you, that need and
want is so great, it’s like a staving woman who has not eaten in days,
suddenly has a banquet full of food presented to her and her only problem,
question is what to start with. That passion in you is going to ravish you
until it is fed, and in so doing you will turn on those around you, including
your little beauty, but she won’t leave you, she is completely into you. But
she doesn’t know a whole side of you and that’s where your frustration towards
her will lie. You will still take your pleasure for the one half, from her,
but I see you trying to show her your other half and she continues to refuse
to see your other passionate side, the side that actually made you more of who
you are today than any other.”
Xena sat and thought about what Shatara was telling her, she knew it to be
true, even though she would never say it out loud to Shatara, she knew of
Shatara’s special gifts.
“ Soo...? My Lord?”
“ What?”
“ What are you going to do about her?”said as she slowly slid her hands up one
of Xena’s thighs, towards Xena’s jewel, Xena’s muscles tensed reflectively, at
the daring hands.
“ I don’t know just now.” Xena
Shatara slowly turned so she was now facing Xena, her hands continued their
path as Xena debated with herself whether to let her or stop her, just as
Shatara’s hands disappeared under Xena’s leathers, Xena grabbed Shatara’s
wrist, and moving them outwards and away from her jewel, Xena stated slightly
breathless.....” NO! I won’t do that to her, she trust me, and I will not
betray that again, no matter what.” Xena affirmed as she returned Shatara’s
hands to herself.
Shatara smiled a sad type smile and then said in a summissive voice.....” I am
yours to command Lord Xena.” Then bowing her head and keeping her hands on
Xena’s feet she waited for Xena to speak to her.
“ GODS ABOVE Shatara! It’s hard enough, without you doing that.” Xena scolded
as Shatara shivered at the memory of Xena’s tone of voice, just before Xena
would bed her.
Xena saw the response and putting her hand on top of Shatara’s soft mane of
hair, she caressed her for a while, during which time Shatara was unable to
speak. All she could do was feel, and remember.
“ Shatara, do you see it taking a long time before Diana gives in to me?” Xena
asked out of curiosity.
“ Yeee.......yesss..., but your going to turn on everyone long before, if you
don’t find a way to feed this passion in you.”
Shatara answered more clearly after the lost of Xena’s caressing hand.
“ You know you are almost if not equally responsive to me as Diana is?” Xena
acknowledged. And then a shiver ran down her spine.
Shatara saw it and pounced on it.
“ You do want to have us both in your bed, don’t you My Lord?”
Xena raised a brow at Shatara, and then said.....” I will admit, the idea has
appeal to me.”
“ You know why My Lord?”
“ Yes Shatara I realize the why behind that.And it is for that very reason it
will remain only as wishful thinking. Strange, I never thought I would have a
desire to have someone else touch My Consort, but to have both of you who are
so responsive to my touch definitely has the appeal.”
“ My Lord, anyone else would also be as responsive to your touch, but there is
a connection that none of the others have that me and yur little beauty do.You
know what else I think My Lord?”
“What Shatara?” Xena asked with a raising of her brow.
“ I think you bonded with her not only because you love her, but because you
wanted to make sure she couldn’t just walk out on you, or run from you. I
think you used her high sense of family that she longed for so long, to your
advantage that it will be this that keeps her close to you no matter what you
do, I think you manipulated her emotions, I think the depth of your feelings
for her are real, but the warrior in you, the premier strategist who is always
ten steps ahead of everyone in her plans unbeknowst to anyone, I think it is
she who really wanted the bonding. My Lord I don’t say these things to hurt
you, just to enlighten you. But of course these are only the things that I
believe.”
Xena smirked at Shatara and only said....” Uh-hum, right.” Xena said with an
amused look in her eyes. Shatara beamed at the look and then bowed her head
once again. Xena kissed the top of her head and then looking out the window
she noticed it had gotten late.
“ I think I need to get going, My Consort will be expecting me.” Xena said
while standing and stretching her muscles.
“ You are so beautiful My Lord, will you come and see me again?” Shatara asked
with hope in her eyes.
“ Yes.”
“ Great, I’ll see you to the door My Lord?”
“ Fine.” Xena said with a smile.
Shatara walked with Xena to the castle door, and once there Xena turned to her
and said, “ Shatara, I don’t want you to harass My Consort, I will handle
her.”
“ I won’t harass her My Lord, I would like to talk to her again?”
“ Well that will be up to her, and right now I don’t think she will go out of
her way to come and talk to you, you have been very rude to her, although you
have been honest with her.” Xena stated with some warning in her tone.
“ I’ll try to be nicer to her My Lord, for your sake.”
“ The only reason your not, is because your jealous.” Xena called Shatara on
her own insecurity.
“ Yes, I am, I do wish it were me that warmed your bed and your heart, and not
her, a woman from some other time.”
“ Now how did you know that?” Xena asked with curiosity but not surprise once
again.
“ Just by some of the things she said and how she said them, I’ve been around
you know also, maybe not as long as you have, but definitely longer than she
has.”
Xena smirked again and then held Shatara’s chin in her hand and leaned down
she kissed her...on the forehead, and said,” talk to you later Sorceress, and
for your information, the bonding idea was purely my idea, she knew nothing
about it.” Shatara bowed her head and Xena stepped out into the night air and
headed for Diana’s camp, but once again once out of Shatara’s view, she threw
out the traveller and went through and came out the other side.
Diana was at the other end of the camp talking to the construction teams,
telling them, that what they had done so far was correct, but she wanted to
make sure that as the frame was covered that each and every section was
smooth, and perfect.
“ Also, make sure that once the outside is completely done that all of the
teams work on getting the inside done, and you guys are to clean as you go,
that way once it’s all done I can send the servants in to do a thorough final
cleaning, so that it will be spotless. Then I want everyone working around the
clock building the rest of that city and then moving on to the others. The
rest after the Capital city will be a cake walk. Oh, and make sure that the
aqueducts are protected from being destroyed should anything happen
underground, clear?”
“ Yes Your Highness.” Came the response from the crews.
“ Good, ok, go ahead and handle it. Miki?”
“ Yes Your Highness?”
“ Make sure the shift rotations are done on schedule, I don’t want anyone
collapsing from exhaustion.”
“ Yes Your Highness.” Miki reply as she bowed and was dismissed by Diana.
Diana stretched and Nebula said jokingly, “ Oh you make sure they rest but you
on the other hand just keep going and going?”
” I’m not tired Nebula, I have too many things to do.” Diana said trying to
divert the conversation.
Nebula was too astute to fall for it, and so she called her on it.
“ No, I don’t think that’s it Diana, I think your thinking about Our Lord up
there on that mountain with Shatara, wondering if Xena will give in to her or
not?”
“ I’m not worried about Xena giving in to her, she wouldn’t do that.”
“ Then what is it?” Nebula asked now confused.
“ Nothing, I don’t want to talk about this right now, let’s just see if we can
get the Capital built within the next few days, ok?”
“ Ok, but I will admit, I am amazed at how fast the development is going, and
the quality is, beyond anything I have ever seen. Your amazing Diana.”
“ Thank you, but if it were not for you, I wouldn’t be here, thank you.” Diana
praised back.
Nebula and Diana gave each other a hug and smiled at each other. Nebula’s
smile was more from just being able to touch Diana. Xena saw it and smirked
and started towards the two women.
Diana turned to see Xena and she exclaimed excitedly....” XENA!”
Nebula looked at Diana and then whispered, “ And you weren’t worried, yeah
right?”
“ I wasn’t, that much. Diana admitted as Xena arrived in front of her.
“ Ladies....sooo...what were you two talking about?” Xena said looking between
the two women.
Diana spoke and said...” We were talking about the Capital City and the
construction and how well it’s going.”
“ Really?” Xena said questionly, as she looked at Nebula, who simply nodded
her head in agreement to Diana’s explanation.
“ Hm...ok, Consort if you can spare a little time, I think we have some
things to talk about, as well as other things?”
“ Oh, yes, ok, Nebula, I’ll talk to you later?”
“ Much later Pirate.” Xena expanded.
“ Yes My Lord, Your Highness, goodnight.”
Nebula then bowed and departed. Xena in the mean time was studying Diana, so
much so that Diana actually straighten her bracers out of nervousness as to
what Xena had on her mind.
As they walked Diana kept fidgeting with different things, while Xena walked
somewhat behind her thinking about what Shatara had told her and watching
Diana fidget.
“ Diana is something making you nervous?” Xena asked knowingly.
“ “ Uh..no, I’m fine, what makes you ask that?” Diana said trying to dismiss
her nervousness off to Xena’s imagination.
“ Oh, just how you’ve played with every part of your leathers.”
“ Oh, haha, well maybe a little.” Diana said with a shy smile, as she turned
back around and continued onto the tent.
Xena smirked, with a strange look in her eyes, that if Diana had been watching
her she would have surely flinched at it. When they arrived at the tent Diana
went straight for the table with the wine and water on it.
Xena watched Diana pick up the wine and pour a goblet full and then she
turned and found Xena watching her with wonder in her eyes.
“ Oh, no, this is for you Xena, I thought you might be thirsty?” Diana
explained quickly to allay Xena’s concern that she had started drinking.
“ Ah...ok, I was just thinking who I would punish first, you or the pirate.”
Xena said with all seriousness.
“ Hm... I’m sure, although I really don’t understand why?”
“ Because I said so.” Xena stated flatly.
Diana gave her a demure glance and then turned and went and got her water. Her
hands were starting to shake and she didn’t want Xena to see it. But of Course
Xena did.
“ Consort...why are you so nervous, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”
Xena asked with some frustration and anger sliding into her tone.
“ Nothing, I just .....I just don’t know how you feel about me right now?”
Diana stated honestly.
“ How do you think I feel about you Diana? I told you nothing has changed
about my feelings for you. Your still just as important to me as always, that
will never change.”
“ But....but Xena, I....I had a talk with Shatara, or rather she had a talk
with me.”
“ And...?” Xena asked wondering what Diana got out of the conversation.
“ And....she tells me that you want her as well as me?” Diana asked with a
questioning raise of her brow.
“ Shatara says what she believes, I can’t do anything about that Diana.” Xena
answered without really answering.
“ Hm...so your saying it’s not true?” Diana asked to understand.
“ I’m saying... Shatara still has very strong feelings for me.”
“ But Xena, it’s obvious to me that you still have feelings for her as well.”
“ That’s true Diana, I do, but I have no intentions on acting on those
feelings.” Xena said while holding Diana by her shoulders and looking deeply
into her eyes.
Diana placed her hands on top of Xena’s and smiled and said ....” I know, I
never doubted that.”
“ Good. Anyway, what’s really bothering you Diana?”
Xena asked removing her hands from Diana’s shoulder as she walked around her
and went to sit in one of the chairs in the tent.
“ Xena I don’t know, I mean...are you happy with me?”
Xena smirked and then answered....” What did I just get through telling you?”
“ I know, but Xena....?” Diana asked unsure for the first time.
“ Yes, everything you want to know.” Xena replied leaving the rest up to Diana
to interrupt.
Diana looked at Xena thoughtfully and then bringing her hand to her mouth as
she thought, she looked back over at Xena who was casually popping a grape
into her mouth as she glanced at Diana every now and again.
“ Xena.... about last night?” Diana started.
Xena raised her hand to stop Diana, and then she said....” I told you, it’s
alright. Now come here.”
Diana walked over to Xena and Xena immediately begun to caress her, starting
with her arms and then she removed items from Diana’s arms, then she stood and
removed Diana’s leathers, she caressed Diana’s breast, as she kissed her lips.
“ Kitten?” Xena whispered inches from Diana’s lips.
“ Hmm? “ Diana moaned as she fell into Xena’s touch.
“You know I have never seen you use that area of your body?”
“ What area?” Diana asked reacting from the effects of Xena’s skilled
caresses.
Xena kissed Diana’s lips once more and then proceeded to kiss her neck as she
said...” That area....back there.”
Diana’s mind cleared for a moment and she leaned back out of Xena’s arms to
look at her.
“ Xena?” Diana said with worry ringing in her voice.
“ Don’t worry kitten, I was just making an observation.”
“Oh.” Diana said trying to relax again.
“ Well?” Xena continued.
“ Well what?” Diana asked.
“ What do you use that area for? And don’t tell me like everyone else, because
I’ll know that’s a lie?”
“ Nothing, I never have as long as I can remember.”
“ hmmm...that’s interesting.”
“ What is?”
“ The fact that your body produces water as waste, but not anything
else....why?”
“ I was told it was part of the change that I underwent as an infant. Waste
was not apart of that planets concerns, it was the cleanest place I have ever
seen, I mean to be a planet. Anyway, why are we talking about this, I’ve never
seen you use that area for that either, and you haven’t undergone that type of
change, why is that?” Diana said turning the conversation around.
“ Because I literally WILLED my body to be efficient, and there is nothing
left as waste, other than water, and now that I have undergone a change It’s
like it never was used in that way.” Xena shot back, again using one of
Shatara’s words, which she happened to agree with.
“ Hmmm.... yes, I’m sure your will had a lot to do with it.” Diana admitted.
Diana turned her body so that she was able to sit on Xena’s thigh. She then
lowered her eyes as she thought about her next words.
“ Xena.....is there another side of yourself that I need to know about?”
“ Diana that is entirely up to you.” Xena turned it back onto Diana.
Diana’s hands were once again shaking, and she let her hair fall forward over
her face as she tried to control the feelings that were running through her.
“ Xena....I don’t want to go there.” Diana said honestly.
Xena looked at her with disappointment and hurt in her eyes. Diana saw it and
fear started to grip her heart. Xena lifted Diana up off of her lap and
straightening her bracers, she stood up and without looking at Diana, she
said.....” You know Diana, I think I should get back to the palace, I’m sure
there are a lot of things that need my attention, I’ll see you later, ok?”
“ Xena.....? Please don’t be angry at me?” Diana said fearfully.
“ I’M NOT!, I mean....I have to go, I’ll see you later Consort.” Xena said as
she threw down the traveller and disappeared into it.
Diana stood naked wide-eyed and shaking from the lost she was feeling.
“Xe....Xe.....XENA!!!!!” Diana screamed as she sunk to her knees and sobbed
bitterly.
Miki ran in as well as Nebula and found Diana sobbing bitterly on the ground
nude as the day she was born.
“ Diana? What happened?” Nebula asked with panic registering in her voice.
Diana didn’t answer she just sobbed. Nebula went to her knees and pulled Diana
into her arms as Miki retrieved a blanket off of the bed and covered Diana
with it. Nebula then lifted Diana up off of the floor and put her on the bed.
Diana rolled over onto the bed and curled into a ball and Nebula just caressed
Diana’s hair and arms as she tried to soothe the trembling and distraught
young woman.
When Diana finally cried herself to sleep, Nebula got off of the bed and
covering Diana up with the covers she stepped out of the tent with Miki.
“ Miki, Have you ever seen her like this before?”
“ Yes, once when she found out Our Lord had bedded Aphrodite.”
“ Lord Xena Bedded the Goddess of Love?” Nebula asked amazed.
“ Yes, and from what I heard it was Aphrodite who asked , or should I say
pleaded for Our Lord to bed her.” Miki informed.
“ Wow! But I don’t think Our Lord did anything like that this time, no....I
think it’s something else, and I’m sure it has to do with Shatara, or
something she said. “
“ Yes I agree.” Miki said.
“ Excuse us?” Solari interjected.
“ Oh, Solari, Eponin, how is everything going?”
“Fine at the sites, but we couldn’t help hear Her Highnesses screams, we got
here as quickly as we could. What’s going on?”
“ Our Lord and Her Highness are at odds about something.” Nebula informed
them.
“ Where’s our Lord?”
“ She’s gone.” Back to the palace I assume.
“ And Her Highness?”
“ Asleep inside, she literally cried herself to sleep, and even then she still
trembles.”
“ Well I suggest we let her sleep, and be ready to help her tomorrow, because
it is going to be a long day, her eyes are sapphire.” Nebula said with
concern.
The next morning Diana awoke with a headache, she rolled out of bed and
cleaned up and dressed, she didn’t stop to get anything to eat but instead
dove into work. The whole day Diana did not talk about anything other than
work, and when she was alone she cried.
At night she cried herself to sleep as she called for Xena. The next week was
long and hard on everyone, especially Diana who was not as active as she
usually was, and Nebula didn’t know why.
“ Diana, why don’t you go and get something to eat and take a break, you have
been going from sun up to sun down and I don’t think it’s helping you any,
you need to go and talk to her, you can’t keep avoiding it.”
“ I’m fine!” Diana stated as she swiped a stray strand of hair out of her
face.
“ No your not. “ Nebula countered. Your weaker, you nervous, you constantly
tremble everytime she’s mentioned...” Nebula listed.
“ Then stop mentioning her!” Diana scolded, and then felt bad at the look she
received from Nebula.
“ I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t want to talk about it, please?” Diana said as
she wiped her forehead of the perspiration that was apart of her the last few
weeks.
The development was going very well, they were a quarter of the way through it
when one day, Ludmilla noticed Diana had not eaten her breakfast, then she
noticed it was lunch and finally evening meal, Ludmilla told Dancea, Xena’s
own personal servant and Dancea told her to let her know if she didn’t eat the
next day. when the next day came and went Ludmilla reported to Dancea that Her
Highness had indeed not been eating, and that would account for her weakening
state.
“ What should we do?” Ludmilla asked.
“ I think we should tell Our Lord?”
“ No! I don’t think her Highness is up to seeing her right now?”
“ But Our Lord needs to know, she would be very upset with us if we didn’t
tell her, And I don’t relish that idea at all, do you?”
“ No, but maybe we can tell Princess Gabrielle?” Ludmilla suggested.
“ Hm...yes I think that will be alright, then Princess Gabrielle could tell
our Lord?”
“ Yes.”
“ Ok, let’s do it.”
“ Ok, now where is Princess Gabrielle? Oh I remember she is at the Amazons.
Let’s go.”
The two young girls used the traveller they were given and throwing it down
the way they had been told to do it they then stepped through and came out the
other side on Amazon land, right in front of the Queens resident.
They went to the entrance and told the guards who they were there to see and
were immediately shown to the sitting room where Ephiny and Gabrielle and a
few of the Amazon women were there talking.
After the two girls were introduced Gabrielle looked at their faces and
something gripped her heart.
“ Wh...What is it? What’s happened?”
“ Princess Gabrielle, we didn’t know what to do, so we came here to you.”
Dancea explained.
“ Do? Do about what?” Gabrielle asked with panic rising.
“ It’s Her Highness, she’s not eating and it’s been weeks since she has, she’s
weak , and nervous, and she trembles a lot of the time.” Ludmilla said as
tears rolled down her face.
“ What do you mean she hasn’t eaten in weeks, why not?”
“ Because of a falling out her and Our Lord had.”
“ Xena and Diana had a falling out, and Diana’s not eating now? Are you sure
it was a falling out?”
“ Well Not really, but what else could make Her Highness behave in such a
way?”
“ I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. Take me to her?”
“ Yes Princess.”
“ I’ll go with you Gabrielle.” Ephiny offered.
“ Ok, thanks.”
The four women returned to the camp and Gabrielle immediately went into
Diana’s tent to find her with her head on the table sobbing.
“ Diana?” Gabrielle called gently.
Diana’s head lifted and her eyes locked on Gabrielle’s. Diana rose out of her
chair and went to greet Gabrielle.
“ Gabrielle...sister...I am so happy to see you, I’ve missed you so much. How
are you doing?” Diana asked immediately changing the subject even before it
begun.
“ I’m fine...but how are you?”
“ Fine, just really busy, things are going along on schedule, the Capital City
is all done, and it is beautiful.”
“ I’m sure it is, usually anything you touch turns out that way.” Gabrielle
praised.
“ You always know what to say.” Diana said admiringly.
“ Diana what’s going on?” Gabrielle asked pointedly.
“ Just some things I have to work out. But forget that for right now, How was
your birthday?”
“ I don’t think we should talk about that just now?”
“ Why not? I think it’s the perfect time, so tell me, How did the coming out
ceremony go?”
“ It was fine.”
“ That’s it? Just fine?”
“ It was wonderful, Xena was the most attentive and loving and nurturing
person one could ever know.” Gabrielle said in one breath.
Diana sat heavily onto the bed and looked at Gabrielle dejectedly.
“ She is isn’t she?” Diana asked dubiously.
Gabrielle understood immediately and said ...” Yes.”
Diana gave Gabrielle a weak smile and then she ran her hand through her hair
loosing any tangles she found.
“ Tell me what’s going on Diana.”
Diana looked up at Gabrielle and then she lowered her head and begun....”
Gabrielle, you know when you think you have everything almost figured out, how
when someone or somethning at the last minute throws a hammer in the works how
confused you are at why someone would do that to you, why would they try to
break something that you’ve worked so hard for,....well, that’s how I feel
right now, like I broke something of Xena’s.”
“ What?”
“ her faith in me...that I can be what she wants and needs.”
“ I don’t understand.”
“ Gabrielle I just found out completely by accident that there is a whole
other side to Xena, a side that she wants to share with me, a side that I am
afraid of.”
“ Is it a dark side?”
“ Gabrielle it has nothing to do with dark or light, it’s....it’s about not
knowing a side of the woman I am bonded too, a side I feel I have an
obligation to get to know, despite my own fears.”
“ Diana what is it?”
“ Hmmm....Gabrielle....there are two sides to Xena’s passion, there’s the side
that I know and then there’s the side that I have not seen, I probably have
experienced bits and pieces of that side, but never anything to recognize it
as a major difference.”
“ Well Diana, maybe there’s just sides to people that shouldn’t or even don’t
need to be explored? Maybe that’s where the darkness lies in our souls?”
“ Gabrielle you keep saying dark, it’s not that, Xena’s need or want is not a
darkness, those things are what makes Xena who she is.”
“ But Diana, you have to know that even if that’s the fact, look at Xena’s
history.”
“ I know Gabrielle, but there were many factors to why and how she became who
she was, her home land was attacked, her brother killed, she hasn’t seen her
other brother since, her mother has just recently started to accept her back
into her life, Cesaer, M’lila, Lao-ma, all of these things effected who Xena
became, on top of the side of her passion that I know was not being nourished.
Xena’s passions are like flowers, if their not nourished one way or the other
then they begin to wither, and as they wither, so does her very being.”
“ Your saying that if Xena’s passions aren’t tendered to then they become
dark, right?”
“ No, the passions don’t become dark, the after effects of the withered flower
become dark, meaning, she has no patiences for a lot of things, she becomes
heartless, ruthless, and cruel as a result, to compensate for a side of her
passion that has to be nourished some kind of a way because a part of her has
not been nourished. When Xena lost track of Shatara, a side of her was lost,or
in this case buried, Xena probably tried to nourish it with others, men and or
women, but none could handle even a sample size of her passion, that’s why she
had them either killed or sent away to become someone elses slaves.”
“ But Diana, she wanted you as a slave at one time also?”
“ I know, and the fact of the matter is, I think she still wants that type of
control over me.”
“ But that’s not what love is about, it’s not about one person Lording over
another is it?”
“ Of course it’s not about that in the average world of others, but Gabrielle
you have to realize Xena and I are far from being average, we are two very
powerful women in our own right, and it’s like in any relationship, you can
not have to rulers.”
“ But you can be equals?”
“ No, no matter what people want to believe the reality is that there still
has to be one person to make a final decision, I mean think about it, let’s
take this project for instances, and let’s say Xena and I were two everyday
people who met and got together, Xena still being the more forceful one but in
all we say we’re equal in making all decisions, ok, I tell Xena I’m interested
in doing this, she tells me no and gives me good reasons as to why, I in turn
give her reasons why I should, one of which is because I want to give her a
gift. Well she still says no and that she’s not interested in any gift from me
but having me by her side, but I decide she’ll like it when it’s done, so I
leave to come here and I do all of this, only I don’t go back to see her until
it is done, and then when I finally do, she’s angry, resentful and hurt that I
decided to do this on my own ...even knowing I was doing it for her as a gift,
well she doesn’t see it as a gift, instead she sees it as a ocean between us
now. Now tell me, how is that an equal thing, we both heard the others reasons
and although we may think them valid, for me to still have done this without
her ok, or blessing, it becomes a nightmare for the both of us, because now
everytime she hears about this place she remembers how it came to be. And you
know what else? even if you don’t agree with that, the fact of the matter is
there are only two types of people on the planet, those to dominate and those
to be dominated over, of course one could argue the degree of each but the
base is there are still just the two. I recognize who I am in Xena’s and my
relationship.”
“ But Diana you are a person also who has feelings and wants and needs also.”
“ Your right and I know that, and Xena knows that, I can’t think of a need NOW
or a want other than wanting to see Xena, but outside of that, before this
situation happen, Xena has met all of my needs now, she’s letting me stretch
my wings and grow, but at the same time she has catered to me and been what I
wanted her to be when I needed her to be whatever, and now the shoe is on the
other foot, it’s my turn to be there for her,.....and ....and I’m afraid, I’m
afraid of what I might find, but I’m also afraid that if I don’t meet her
needs, then I will be the cause of everyone elses pain and suffering as she
rules over them.....I won’t lose her, but I don’t know what to do
Gabrielle....” Diana said as she finally broke down once again and sobbed,
this time in Gabrielle’s arms.
“ We’ll think of something, but you have to talk to her.” Gabrielle said with
love in her voice.
“ Gabrielle, she doesn’t want to talk to me, she left hurt and disappointed, I
know she thinks I’ve lied to her...and....and right now I can’t say I didn’t.”
Diana said through her tears as she broke down again.
“ How did you lie?”
Diana lifted her head from Gabrielle’s shoulder and wiping her eyes as she
went to stand up and get some water for herself she said over her shoulder...”
I told Xena that I would follow her anywhere she lead, as long as she was
there with me, and now.....now she wants to lead me somewhere, and I’m...I’m
afraid to go with her.”
“ Diana I’m sure she understands, and besides that if she was able to bury
that side of herself once before, why can’t she do it again now?”
“ Because it’s like trying to close a floor gate, once open, there is no
closing it. And This flood gate is WIDE OPEN. Gabrielle what am I going to do,
I have to address this other side of Xena in a way that will satisfy that
need.” How am I going to do that?”
“ I know.” Came a voice from behind Diana.
Diana whirled around to see Shatara standing in the middle of her tent.
“ How did you get in here, and without me hearing you?” Diana said alarmed
that someone could ease up on her other than Xena.
“ Oh, little beauty, don’t worry, your friends let me in, and the way you were
focused on this problem I don’t think you would have heard a herd of horses
stampeding through.”
“Anyway, what do you want?!” Diana said with anger lacing her tone.
“ What do you think...to help you?”
“ I don’t need or want your help, I thought I made that clear to you?”
“ Well, from what I just heard, I think you do. “ Shatara argued.
“ Well I don’t care what you heard I don’t!” Diana shot back.
“ Hmmm....who are you?” Shatara asked noticing Gabrielle for the first time as
someone she had not seen with Diana and Xena.
“ I’m princess Gabrielle, and you are?”
“ Shatara, a F.R.I.E.N.D. of Lord Xena’s.” Shatara emphasized.
Diana pinched her lips and just glared at the woman.
“ What Do you want?!” Diana again said more impatient than before.
“ I told you, to help you, or should I say make sure that Lord Xena’s needs
and wants are taken care of.” Shatara said correcting herself.
“ And how are you going to do that?” Diana asked sarcastically.
“ Simple, you can’t or won’t meet Lord Xena’s needs or wants because of your
fear at what that will lead to for the rest of your lives intimately, and yet
you realize it has to be met, so that leaves you with only a few
choices....one you can not meet them and let everyone suffer as a result, or
two....you can meet them and deal with both sides of her passions as the need
arises for the rest of your lives....or......you could settle for a third
option...?”
“ Which would be?” Gabrielle asked out of curiosity.
“ which would be for me to take care of that side.”
“ HAH!! that’ll be the day. Diana sneered.
“ Little beauty that is a part of your problem, your looking at this whole
situation as though it were an everyday type thing, and the only way it fits
into that catorgery is the fact that ALL people who are married realize they
must either deal with the whole person or settle to deal with a part of the
person and allow someone else to deal with the other half, the problem with
that one is that the mate usually is the one having to wear the blinders for
the rest of their lives and that over time destroys all relationships in the
end, whether by the inability of the mate to continue to handle the
arrangements or because the mated decides they can get not only one but both
sides of their passions tended to by a willing partner...ME, I told you, you
either take care of her, or I will it’s in your hands whether you keep her the
way you want ...as your mate, rather than as ONE of her mates.”
Diana didn’t say anything, she just stood with her arms crossed over her chest
as her gaze went from glaring contempt to that of indecision and wonder.
“ Think about it little beauty.” Shatara said as she turned and departed from
the tent.
Gabrielle jumped to her feet and went to stand by Diana.
“ WoW! she’s a bold one isn’t she, obviously out of her mind.” Gabrielle
reasoned.
“ Why do you say that?” Diana asked wondering what Gabrielle’s thinking was.
“ Because, if she thinks your about to let her be bedded by Xena just to take
care of a physical need, then she’s lost her mind.”
“ has she?” Diana said without elaborating.
“ YES! I can’t believe your even considering such thing, especially
considering how angry you got at the fact that Xena bedded Aphrodite, I can’t
even begin to see how you can be thinking of letting some strange woman who
obviously wants Xena, to even come near her? Especially because of a physical
need?”
“ Gabrielle this is not about meeting a simple physical need, this is about
meeting a WHOLE side of the woman I love, I have to think about what will make
Xena happy.”
“ You. That’s what will make Xena happy, you.”
“ I use to think that, but now I’m not so sure, I mean think about it, what
would have happened if Xena had found her when we first met, who do you think
she would be with today?”
“ What are you saying?” Gabrielle asked with concern.
“ I’m saying maybe I should give Xena a choice?”
“ What type of choice?”
“ A choice between whether she wants to stay with me, or take ...her as
another Consort?”
“ DIANA??!! You can’t be serious? Xena won’t go for it.”
“ But what if she does?” Diana questioned.
“ Diana?”
“ Gabrielle, I’m not saying that I’m going to do this, I’m just looking at the
options. Gabrielle your right about one thing....”
“ What’s that?”
“ I do need to talk to Xena. Can you tell Nebula to handle things until I get
back?”
“ yes.”
“ Thank you. Oh and Gabrielle, I am so happy you came, I have missed you so
much, when I needed you, here you are, thanks sis.” Diana said as tears ran
down her face.
“ Gabrielle hugged Diana and whispered in her ear...” Where else would I be?”
“ Thank you.” Diana said as she kissed Gabrielle’s forehead, and then breaking
their embrace she turned and put her leathers on and straightened herself up.
end of part 5
continue to part 6
love to hear from you
Denisewade@aol.com