By D.virtue

“ Yes, I think that’s a great idea.” Renna said as she came to her feet and
went to sit near Kiara. Once Renna had engaged Kiara, Xena then left with Gabrielle
and they went into the kitchen to talk.

“ What’s on your mind Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle looked at her for a few moments and then she turned away and walked
over to the sink and leaned forward on it, trying to think of the best way to
ask Xena.

“ Gabrielle?” Xena called with curiosity.

“ Xena what’s going on with you and that woman?!” Gabrielle finally yelled.

“ Excuse me?” Xena said shocked to hear Gabrielle talking to her with a raised

“ I’m sorry, it’s just that this has caught me off guard. Are you interested
in her?”

Xena cocked her head at Gabrielle and with her brows slightly furrowed she

“ Yes. Why?”

“ I see, Xena you just met this woman, you don’t know anything about her, what
if she has a past?”

“ Gabrielle, we all have a past.”

“ How could you be interested in her so soon, you just met her yesterday? It
took you a few years to even think about approaching me?”

“ True, but it was about love for us Gabrielle, right now it’s purely
physical, I have been with anyone that made me feel these needs in a little
over a year, not since us. “

“ Is that all there is between the two of you, just a physical thing?”

“ Well right now it is all that I am thinking about, I can’t speak for her.”

“ Well Xena if it’s just a matter of a need, why didn’t you come to me?”

“ Ha! Yea right Gabrielle?” Xena said sarcastically.

“ What?” Gabrielle responded defensively.

“ Right Gabrielle, you breakup with me and I’m suppose to come to you about
something like this?”

“ Why not? I mean we are still friends, right?”

“ Gabrielle you know why not, it wouldn’t be healthy for us to have such a
relationship, besides you deserve to have love in your life, not just make
yourself available to me when I feel the need.”

Gabrielle then stepped over to where Xena stood and running her hand nervously
down and up Xena’s chest once, she then looked up and said, “ Xena I wouldn’t
mind. You’ve always made me feel like I was and still am loved by you, besides
who knows what would happen?”

“ Gabrielle...I understand how your feeling, but we tried a relationship, and
you didn’t want it, remember?” Xena said as she stepped back away from
Gabrielle and headed for the door of the kitchen.

“ Xena?!” Gabrielle called to her before she opened the door.

“ Yes?”

“ Did you?”

Xena then turned around and asked, “ Did I what Gabrielle?”

“ Did you want us to stay together?” Gabrielle asked with moisture in her

Xena sighed and then she walked back over to where Gabrielle was standing
gazing at her and waiting for an answer. Xena lifted Gabrielle’s chin up and
leaning down she kissed her tenderly. Then she leaned back and looking deep
into Gabrielle’s eyes she said without a blink.

“ More than anything My little Potiadiean. More than anything. “ Xena sighed
and then with an empathetic smile she removed her hand from under Gabrielle’s
chin and stepping back she saw the tears roll down Gabrielle’s cheeks.

Xena then smiled again, and turning slowly, she walked to the door and opened
it. She looked back at Gabrielle for a moment and then with sympathetic eyes,
she went out and headed back for the living room.

Gabrielle stayed in the kitchen for a while longer as she let the pain she
felt mix with the jealousy she also felt. After a while she composed herself
and drying her eyes she headed back for the room where everyone else was.

Xena heard her coming and she casted a concern gaze over to her. Gabrielle
acknowledged it, but she still had sadness in her eyes, but Xena also saw
another look which caused her to knit her brows once again.

The four of them talked for a while longer, but then Gabrielle said with
relief sounding in her voice.

“ Well, it seems to be getting late, I think we should call it a night?”

Xena looked over at Gabrielle, and with reluctance she agreed.

“ Yes It does seem to be getting late, maybe we should call it an evening.”

“ Well Xena that would be a nice trick.”

“ What do you mean?” Gabrielle asked.

“ Just what I said, we’re stuck here, the roads are closed because of the

“ Ice? Gabrielle said as she went to the windows to look outside.

When they all looked out, they saw nothing but a sheet of ice that had covered
the cars and streets.

“ When did this happen?” Gabrielle asked in shock.

“ It’s been going on for the last three hours.” Xena answered.

“ You knew it was icing out there?” Gabrielle asked turning to look at Xena.

“ Not at first, but then I heard the rain change to sleet, and because of how
cold it was to start with, I didn’t think it would be a good idea for anyone
to try and drive on icy roads. So I let the rest of the evening go on.”

Gabrielle continued to look hard at Xena and then turning her focus to the ice
covered roads she said in a tight yet conceding voice.

“ Your right, it would be too dangerous.”

“ Renna, Can you show Kiara one of the extra rooms where she can sleep until
all of this is past, and you may have the other room?”

“ Of Course Xena, thank you for the offer. Kiara will you follow me please?”

“ Certainly.” Kiara said as she looked at Xena and then when Xena looked to
Gabrielle, she turned to follow the waiting Renna.

After they were gone, Gabrielle let the tears that had formed in her eyes,
roll down her face.

“ Gabrielle, why is this so hard for you? I don’t understand, you told me that
you didn’t want to be with me, now I see all of this, how do you think this
makes me feel? It’s not fair Gabrielle, you left me for three months, while we
each tried to deal with your decision, a decision I told you I didn’t want,
but I let you make it for the both of us because I saw it’s what you wanted.
Now after over a year, the moment another person catches my eyes, for whatever
reason, you suddenly develop these feelings for me again, and your jealousy is

“ Their not sudden, I’ve always loved you, and continue to love you.”
Gabrielle said in defense of herself.

Your right Gabrielle, I do still love you, and I always will, but YOU didn’t
WON’T ME, so I’m not going to let you make this decision for me this time, I
plan on seeing where this will go. I’m sorry if this hurts you, I never mean
to hurt you, I hope you know that?”

Gabrielle stood looking hurt and angry at Xena’s words. Xena saw it and just
as she was about to take Gabrielle in to her arms to comfort her, Gabrielle
moved back and turned herself to look back out the window. Xena stopped and
taking a deep breath, she gritted her teeth to hold back her own anger at how
Gabrielle was making her feel. Now she was really feeling tense, but it was
only when Kiara appeared in the doorway did she realize how to relieve the

“ Xena, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just came to tell you both
that I really appreciate you putting me up like this at the last minute.”
Kiara said as she looked at the scene and felt the tension.

“ Gabrielle?” Xena called quietly, hoping Gabrielle would say something, when
she didn’t, Xena gritted her teeth and spoke through them. “ Fine.”

Xena then turned and strided over to where Kiara stood.

“ Let’s go.” Xena stated to her more as an order than a question.

Kiara turned with Xena due to Xena catching her arm and slightly pulling her
along with her.

“ Go where”

To your room, I want you right now. if your up to it?” Xena answered bluntly.

“ OH! Okay.” Kiara said as her breathing started to increase at the idea of
being with Xena in bed, especially after hearing that Xena wanted her, but
still probably not as badly as she’s been wanting Xena.

They arrived at the bedroom and Xena didn’t want to waste anytime.

“ Xena are you and Gabrielle involved?” Kiara asked as Xena begun kissing her
and removing different parts of her clothing.

“ Xena?” Kiara called again.

Xena stopped what she was doing and looking Kiara in the eyes she asked with
some irritation.

“ Do you want to do this or not?”

“ Yes, I just wanted to know who she is to you?”

“ A friend, we’re not in a relationship, and if you ask me one more question,
then this won’t happen either, and you’ll go to bed by yourself.” Xena then
raised a questioning brow at Kiara.

Kiara trembled as a result and then shook her head that she had no further
questions, or it could have been that she was saying she didn’t want to go to
the bed along, especially after being so worked up.

“ Good.” Xena said with a husky voice and then leaned back in and begun
kissing her again.

This time Kiara didn’t try to say anything else she just let her passion speak
for her. They stripped each other out of their clothes and Xena leaned back on
her heels back for a brief moment, as she took in the woman’s whole nude body,
laying out on the bed fully blushed.

Xena’s eyes showed their appreciation of it, and the woman’s eyes smoldering
as a result. Kiara came to her knees and pushing Xena back so that she was on
her back, the woman kissed Xena as she laid flat against her, and Xena wrapped
her arms around the woman’s back, and caressed it as the woman moaned and
moved her womaness against Xena’s muscular thigh.

Xena felt the Kiara’s wetness and she moved her thigh against her. Kiara
suddenly stopped and Xena looked at her, but Kiara had other plans, she begun
kissing her way down Xena’s neck to her chest, where she stopped to suckle
Xena’s nipples, and to feel the soft supple flesh under her hands.

Xena moaned at the feel of Kiara’s hot hungry mouth on her, and she let her
own hand travel down Kiara’s breast, to her belly and then end up at her moist

Xena wasted no time slipping into the woman. Kiara gasped as a result, and
despite Xena’s surprise at how tight the woman was, she continued to push
inside, until she felt something.

Kiara slightly jumped at the initial contact, and Xena stopped all movement,
and Kiara felt her stop and looked up at her from the nipple she had in her

“ Are you still?” Xena asked with some shock to her voice.

Kiara let go of Xena’s nipple and looking down for a moment she then lifted
her eyes and nodded while at the same time answering with her mouth.

“ yes.”

Xena pulled her finger out and sat up and looked at her in stunned surprise
and some agitation.

“ Your still a virgin?” Xena asked still worked up.

“ Yes, but that doesn’t make a difference does it?”

Xena sat up more as she slipped her leg out from under Kiara, and looking at
her in disbelief.

“ Of Course it does! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“ I thought you knew?” Kiara said softly.

Xena cocked her head at her and inhaled deeply, and then let it out.

“ am I or anyone else suppose to know something like that?
Especially the way you were coming on to me, I thought you were experienced?”

“ I am.”

“ Kiara...your a nurse, you know what a virgin is, and what makes one such.”

“ Of course I do.”

“ Then how can you say your experienced?”

“ Because I’ve never been taken this way, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted
the person I was with to have me in that way?”

Xena was shaking her head due to her not understanding, and also very
frustrated at the moment.

“ I’ve never been taken from the front before.” Kiara finally said as she
noticed Xena’s irritation and frustration growing.

“ OH, I see. Then what were you going to do now? I mean you know what I wanted
from you, and you let me get you in bed and build both our needs up, and then

“ What do you mean what? We were going to make love.”

“ But I planned on using these, in there, but how can I do that, if your still
a virgin?” Xena said as she wiggled her fingers in front of her.

“ I know.”

“ But Kiara, you obviously have saved yourself for one special person?”

“ yes.”

“ Then I don’t understand why we’re here?” Xena said with a perplexed look in
her eyes.

“ Because it’s time to give it to that special person.” Kiara said as she sat
astride Xena’s thighs facing her.

“ Kiara.....that is so very tempting, but it’s also very sweet, But I don’t
feel comfortable accepting such a gift, when we barely know each other.”

“ Why not?” Kiara asked innocently.

“ Because, it just wouldn’t be right.”

“ Why not?”

Xena sighed and looked away for a moment trying to find a way to get Kiara to
understand what she was offering.

“ Kiara how old are you?”

“ 25.”

“ Yes, that’s what I would have guessed. Kiara you have saved yourself for
seven years after.... you reached the age of consent. Why are you so sure now
that you want to give up your virginity to me right now?”

“ Because, since the first day I saw you, I knew I wanted to be with you. I’ve
never felt so strongly about this.”

“ Kiara how long ago was it since you have been with your last woman?”

“ I’ve never been with a woman before.” Kiara answered with hesitation.

Xena’s mouth dropped open slightly, and with a bewildered look in her eyes,
she threw up her hands.

“ You’ve’ve never been with a woman before? How could you have such
strong feelings about something you’ve never experienced before?!”

“ I don’t know, but I do know that from what I felt, it was better than any
man, and everything I expected..... and so much more..Goodness sakes Xena I
want to be with you, I want to be loved by you, held in those strong arms, I
want to give you all of me and happily. I can’t explain this any better, it’s
just this deep feeling in here...that tells me your the one for me, and.....”

“ Kiara....” Xena said stopping Kiara from continuing on . “ I am so flattered
by what you’ve said, but Kiara.....answer me this. What do you want to happen
with us?”

“ I want us to make love.”

“ And then what?”

“ what do you mean?”

Xena now was in an analytical mode and she was determined to see what the
young woman’s intentions were.

“ Just what I said. After we make love, then what?”

“ I don’t understand what your asking me?”

“ I’m asking you what do you want from me after we make love?”

Kiara studied Xena for a moment before she answered and then cocking her head
slightly and knitting her brows she answered.

“ You.”

“ Me?”

“ Yes, I want you in my life, I want to wake up with you from time to time,
and hopefully one day, all of the time. I want to see those beautiful piecing
azure eyes looking at me, I want to see the desire I saw early in them all of
the time, I want to feel the blush you cause in me, when you glance at me in
a certain way. I just want you Xena.” Kiara said pouring her heart out to

“ Kiara....” Was all Xena could manage, before Kiara leaned in and kissed her.

Xena returned the kiss and laying Kiara back as she rolled over top of her,
Xena continued to kiss her, but then Xena lifted up and looking down at the
woman who was once again gazing at her with desire in her eyes, Xena gave
Kiara another kiss and then she lifted up off of Kiara, and then off of the
bed all together.

“ Xena?”

“ Kiara, I can’t do this, I mean I want to so badly, but your feelings for me
are obviously deeper than mine are for you.”

“ What do you mean?”

“ Kiara, I like you, I like you a lot, but I am not in love with you, you
obviously are with me, and it wouldn’t be right for me to take your virginity,
at least not at this stage.” Xena said explaining her change in mind.

“ But Xena, isn’t that my decision to make?” Kiara asked hoping Xena wouldn’t

“ Yes, to a point. I can not in good conscious let you give up such a gift to
me when I see what would happen if things didn’t work out between us.”

“ But Xena I’m willing to take that chance with you, I don’t think it will

“ Well I think we need to slow down, and that’s what’s going to happen. Good
night Kiara, I guess we’ll both being going to bed uncomfortable tonight.

Kiara came to her feet as she wrapped her arms around Xena’s neck and in a
seductive voice she asked.

“ You don’t really want to leave you?” Kiara finished as she nipped
at Xena’s lips, and chin and then her neck and slowly making her way to Xena’s
breast, where she took it into her mouth and sucked hard on it.

Xena moaned as she tried to compose herself and control her desire to throw
the young woman back on the bed and ravish her until they were both exhausted.

“ K.i.a.r.a....please? You have to stop.”

“ But I don’t want to, please don’t make me?”

“ Ki....Ki....Kiara! Stop!” It’s not going to happen tonight.” Xena said as
she shook Kiara slightly, to get her attention an make her look her in the
eyes. “ It’s not going to happen Kiara. Good night.” Xena said sternly as she
turned and picked up her clothes and carried them out of the room and down the
hall to her own room.

Xena had just closed the door to Kiara’s room when she heard her start to cry.
Xena sighed and leaned against the door for a moment, and then she shook her
head and walked on to her room.

When she arrived and went inside, she was met by Gabrielle.

“ Gabrielle? What are you doing here?” Xena asked surprised to find Gabrielle
in her bedroom.

“ I was waiting for you.” Gabrielle answered as she gazed up and down Xena’s
nude body.

Xena noticed the gaze and immediately grabbed a robe and covered herself.

“ Why?”

“ Because I couldn’t sleep.”

“ Oh. “ Xena replied understanding what Gabrielle was saying. “ Gabrielle, do
you really need to sleep here tonight? I mean with a house full of people and

“ I.....I....I guess I can go sleep in my own bed if you don’t....”

“ No, No Gabrielle, of course you can sleep here, as long as you need.” Xena
said stopping Gabrielle from feeling like she was rejecting her when she
needed to sleep in the room with her out of her usual discomfort in a new

“ Are you sure?”

“ Yes Gabrielle, please?” Xena sighed.

“ Thank you, I’ll be comfortable with the place soon.” Gabrielle said with
appreciation, for both the offer and Xena’s unexpected show.

“ Ok, ok, your welcome.” Xena said with tightness from her frustration in her

Gabrielle smiled slightly and then climbed in the bed under the covers. Xena
looked down at her and with a sigh she said to herself, “ It’s going to be a
long night.” She then removed her robe and slipped under the covers.

During the first few hours of the night, things were quiet, but then Gabrielle
rolled over as she always did, but this time because of Xena’s state of
discomfort, when Gabrielle’s hands touched her breast, Gabrielle felt the taut
tips and she groggily opened her eyes.

Gabrielle saw where her hand was and how close she was to Xena’s breast with
her mouth. Gabrielle moved her body closer to Xena’s nude one, but she made
sure that her movements were as if she was still asleep, she moved her head
onto one of Xena’s breast.

Xena moved slightly to make herself move comfortable with Gabrielle on her
arm, and Gabrielle held still until she was sure Xena was not awake. Once she
was sure, Gabrielle slid the hand that was on Xena’s breast down to Xena’s
womanhood, and feeling the moisture, Gabrielle knew Xena was either dreaming,
or she had not bedded with Kiara.

That idea made more sense to Gabrielle, considering Xena showed up back to her
room naked and the fact that she did not stay with Kiara in the other room
verified what Gabrielle thought. Gabrielle slipped her fingers through Xena’s
soft hairs, just as she wrapped her mouth around Xena’s tight nipple.

Xena moaned and then she opened her eyes at the sound. Her breathing
increased, she focused her eyes and saw who it was.

“ Gabrielle?? What are you doing?” She asked shocked.

“ I want you Xena, I need you.”

“ Gabrielle, I can’t do this, we can’t do this.”

“ Why, you know this feels good?” Gabrielle said as she wiggled her fingers
that were deep within Xena.

“ Ha!! have to stop....I just don’t have the strength right

“ Good, I forgot how good you feel in here, and I love the taste of these in
my mouth, Xena if you don’t do this for any other reason than to relax, I’m
more than willing to help.”

“ Gabrielle....” Xena sighed through her increasing lightheadedness.

“ Let me love you Xena?” Gabrielle purred as she sucked her way down Xena’s
long body, while at the same time pumping into her womanhood with slow deep
methodical movements.

Xena sighed again and stretched her neck as she gave into Gabrielle’s
persistent due to her lack of strength at denying yet another when her need

was so great, and knowing Gabrielle was not a virgin, really helped.

Gabrielle brought her other hand down and parting the nethers, she flicked her
tongue over the peak, and Xena moaned in response. Gabrielle then took
advantage of Xena’s conceding and she covered the peak with her mouth and
sucked on it.

Xena was usually a quiet lover, but due to her inflamed passion, she let her
pleasure sound. Gabrielle moaned as Xena caressed her hair.

“ Yes, yes...Gabrielle, by the Gods you
remember.....Ahhhhh.....oooooo...yesss.” Xena purred as she was nearing her
peak. “

Just as Xena peaked, Gabrielle released with her as an empathetic response,
due to her own excitement at having seduced Xena to let her make love to her.
When Xena’s ecstasy ended after long moments in the grasp of it, she felt
Gabrielle crawl back up her body and then kissing her, Gabrielle closed her
eyes and went to sleep.

Xena however was now feeling even more guilty about her feelings for Kiara,
because of now having slept with Gabrielle, after denying her company to

Xena shook her head and irritation at the whole situation, she didn’t want to
hurt Kiara, and wanted to take things slowly with her, and she told her there
was nothing between her and Gabrielle, and she was, having slept
with her ex-lover despite turning her down earlier because of the jealousy she
saw in Gabrielle, then she turned down Kiara because she didn’t want to hurt
her just in case things didn’t work out for them.

“ Damnit!” Xena swore to herself as she threw her arm over her eyes and went
back to sleep.

“ Xena?” Kiara called as she stood in the doorway of Xena's. bedroom.

“ Hmm... Kiara?” Xena replied.

“ What’s what’s going on?”

“ What are you talking about?” Xena asked still not quite awake.

“ What is she doing in your bed?”

“ What? “ Xena asked as she opened her eyes and saw where Kiara was looking. “
OH! Kiara, it’s not like that.” Xena stated, Just as Gabrielle decided to sit
up in the bed, without her gown on, and with an innocent look on her face,
although for some reason, Gabrielle was feeling some satisfaction in hearing
the hurt in Kiara’s voice at her discovery.

“ Then what is it? You didn’t want to sleep with me, but yet you slept with
someone you said there was nothing going on between the two of you?”

“ Kiara I can explain.”

“ Why do you need to explain Xena, we use to be lovers?” Gabrielle stated
without a second thought.

“ Wh..What? You said.....”

“ G.a.b.r.i.e.l.l.e...” Xena said through her teeth as she got out of the bed,
forgetting for a moment that she too was nude.

“ Why are you naked Xena if nothing happened between the two of you?” Kiara
asked with tears in her eyes.

Xena grabbed her robe and headed for the door where Kiara stood, but just as
she did, Kiara turned and ran out the room and back to the guest room, where
she went and plotted down on the bed in her robe.
“ I’m sorry Xena.” Gabrielle said with sincerity sounding in her voice.

Xena looked back at her and with look of disappointment in her eyes she said,
“ you can’t stand the idea, can you?” then she turned and walked out of the
room and headed down the hall to go and talk with Kiara.

Gabrielle sat on the bed feeling guilty for what she had done, but even so she
still felt some comfort in knowing that Kiara and Xena maybe over before it
even started.

“ Kiara?”

“ Go away Xena, you lied to me already.” Kiara accused.

“ I didn’t lie to you.”

“ Yes you did! You said you and her were not in a relationship?”

“ And that was the truth.”

“ Then what was she doing in your bed with you?”

“ Gabrielle has a problem sleeping in new places by herself, it takes her a
few days to get use to a place, and then she’s fine, otherwise she has
nightmares.” Xena patiently explained.

Kiara looked up from her lap and after another tear rolled down, she wiped her
eyes and asked, “ So, that’s all it was, she just needed to feel safe?”

“ Yes, at first.” Xena admitted.

“ At first, what does that mean?”

“ After we had gone asleep, Gabrielle evidently woke up during the night
and.....she seduced me.”

“ She seduced you? How?”

“ Because of you!”

“ Me?”

“ Yes you, if you had told me you were a virgin when we were in the kitchen,
then I would have never let anything go any further than that, at least not
that soon?”

“ But I told you it’s what I wanted, and it didn’t matter.”

“ But it does matter, if I’m uncomfortable about it, then that makes it

“ But you didn’t have to sleep with her?”

“ Kiara she’s a familiar to me, we’re closer than family, because my
resistance was down after I left you, I didn’t have the strength....”

“ Or Desire?” Kiara interjected.

“ Or desire, to deny her.”

“ Do you love her?”

“ Yes.”

“ Do you want her back?”

“ She doesn’t want me. She broke up with me, I didn’t want to, but I wouldn’t
let my love for her hurt her, I figured if she felt we couldn’t work together
in that way then I would let her go.”

“ She broke up with you?”

“ Yes.”

“ Why?”

“Because I was too pessimistic in my outlook on life.”

“ Hm, that’s funny, she must be the optimist, everything rosy and beautiful?”

“ Usually.” Xena said as she sat down on the bed next to Kiara.

Kiara looked up at Xena for a moment, still somewhat unsure, but yet feeling
more and more sure.

“ I’m more of a realist since my boyfriend.”

“ Why him?”

“ Because he use to beat me.” Kiara stated bluntly.

Xena flinched at the statement and then repeated what she thought she heard.

“ Beat you?”

“ Yes.”

“ Why?”

“ Because I was left at 13, because my father was a drunk, and my mother
couldn’t protect me from him.”

“ Protect you?”

“ Yes, he use to beat me because I use to try to protect my mother, who was an
elegant woman. He use to get so mad whenever she would take me out with her to
some formal event. She use to take him, but the few times she did he always
got drunk and became mean. People didn’t want him around, ha, and I couldn’t
blame them, he was my father and I didn’t want him around. Anyway, one day I
came home from school and my father was yelling at my mother that he was going
to kill her if she even mentioned another event in his house. She of course
yelled back at him . She told him not to threaten her, and that she would just
take me and leave. He told her that if she tried then he would hunt us down
for the rest of his life and then kill me in front of her, and then kill her.
She called him a bastard and told him he was a monster to even think about
hurting me, his own child. He told her the only way he could now trust that
she did not try to leave with me was to either kill me when I got home from
school or they could leave me behind. That’s when my mother threw a vase at
him and that’s when he grabbed her and begun choking her. I ran into the house
at that point and I screamed for him to let her go, but he just pushed me
against a wall, and I hit my head. When I regained consciousness, I saw they
were gone. I got to my feet and begun calling for my mother, I ran around the
inside of the house, and then the outside the house.” I started over to one of
our neighbors house, but then I thought about what would happen if they called
the child protective services, they would put out a warrant for my mother’s
arrest as well as my fathers. and despite how much I hated my father and
wanted him punished, I couldn’t do anything that would risk my mother, so that
night I stayed at the house by myself, but the next morning I got up got my
things and I walked away from my home. although it wasn’t much of one.”

“ How did you make it?”

“ I went to school, and then when school was over I hid inside one of the
corridors of passageways.”

“ How could you fool everyone for so long?”

“ I didn’t, one day when I was crawling out of my hiding place, a young man
saw me.”

“ Your ex- boyfriend?”

“ yes. When I first met him he seemed nice and things, we got to know each
other, he invited me to stay at his place, I told him that I was a virgin and
I didn’t want to lose that, because I wanted to give it to him one day when we
got married.”

“ That’s why you made love the other way?”

“ Yes, and one day he came home and he had obviously had a bad day at work,
hahaha, well if you can call getting fired because you cursed out your boss
for docking you for being late the four time in a row, well then it was a bad
day. Anyway, I got home late from school and so I didn’t have dinner ready,
that was the first time he struck me. We argued and then he felt bad about it
and then we made up, but after that, it seemed like he found reasons to get
mad at me and the next thing I know, I’m being beaten again, I lived like that
until one day he came home, and he started just trying to pick a fight with
me, finally he got tired of me having the right answers, and so, he used that
as his reason, and once again he started pushing me, and then yelling at me,
and then he struck me with his fist, and I fell to the floor, he told me that
he was going to feel better once he beat me. That’s when I knew, if I didn’t
get out of there that day, I would never leave under my own power, because he
would kill me. He was my father all over again. I knew that I couldn’t just
leave him during the night, because he had family that were in the police
department, they would find me, and take me back to him and he would probably
kill me, so when he started to reach down for me, to lift me back to my feet
so that he could knock me down again, I kicked him with all the power I had
in my leg and foot, right in his manhood, he went to the floor like a stone,
that’s when I jumped to my feet and I begun kicking him as hard as I could in
the head, and when he fell back onto his back I crushed them I just jumped
and jumped and jumped on his manhood until he stopped groaning and moving,
and even then the rage I had inside of me for all the years he had beat me,
for all the years my father had beat me, and for stealing my mother away from
me, I started jumping on his chest, I think I lost my mind for a minute,
because the last thing I remember was waking up in a hospital screaming about
how much I hated him for hurting me, I screamed until they sedated me. After
everything was said and done, I found out that I had killed him, but I was not
going to be tried for it because it was in self defense. When I asked them how
he died, they told me that his chest had been caved in and his heart smashed
to jello, They said that they couldn’t tell if he had died from that or if he
had died from having his penis and scrotum crushed first. They said that
either one of the injuries would have been enough to kill him. I cried after
they told me that, I don’t know why, I think it was because I felt guilty
about feeling good about being alive, when he was dead, because of my hate for
him and my father. But I thought it was over once he was gone, boy was I

“ What do you mean?”

“ His brothers and sisters, 6 of them they came to the courthouse to hear the
judge formally dismiss the case, because the District attorney was running for
office, so he had to at least make it appear like he was doing something about
an obvious self defense case, so he sent it to the judge to let the judge
formally dismiss all charges.

“ What happen?”

“ His family said they were going to get me, and they would do worse to me
than I did to their brother. I tried to tell them that their brother was a
jerk who liked to beat on women, I mainly told it to his sisters, because I
thought they would understand, being women, but no not them,instead after I
told them one of them slapped me across the face and screamed at me, he should
have killed me. They all then got in their cars and left. My lawyer asked me
if I wanted to file charges and I told him no, I just wanted to leave to get
as far from that state as I possibly could. He helped me leave, he even found
me a place to live and got me into college, so that I could make a life for
myself, I chose Nursing, because I could identify with caring for someone who
couldn’t care for themselves.”

“ That’s why your such and advocate for your patients?” Xena inferred.

“ Yes. It gets on my last nerve when people think just because they have more
education, that their always right and anyone with less is wrong. Like the
other day at the hospital, that jackass of a DR. thought that just because
he’s a DR. he could see from the many miles away wherever the hell he was,
that his patient was going to be fine and didn’t need to go to the unit. Even
though I saw how the patient looked when I came out of report and went to
start my rounds. That patient should have been over in the unit on day shift,
but some of those nurses are so intimidated by the DR’s because they allow
them to yell at them. I don’t buy that crap, no adult has the right to yell at
another adult for the sole purpose of trying to put them down or make them
feel small. I lived with that stuff most of my life, and I’ll be damn if I’m
going to let some jackass, windbag yell at me, trying to make himself look
good. He was wrong , and any 10 year old could have seen it.” Kiara then
lowered her eyes and bit on her lip as she let the anger that she had
rejuvenated as a result of her remembrance, abate.

Xena didn’t say anything, but she noticed the trembling that had started just
after she begun telling how she killed her boyfriend, and how it increased
throughout the rest of her story. Xena removed Kiara’s robe and laid her down
on her stomach on the bed, and begun massaging Kiara’s tighten muscles.

Kiara eventually fell asleep and Xena covered her up and left the room and
went back to hers to dress. She found Gabrielle still there, only now she was

“ Is she alright?”

“ She’ll be fine.” Xena said as she went into the bathroom to get cleaned up,
when she came out Gabrielle apologized again.

“ Xena I am sorry.”

“ For what Gabrielle? Seducing me? Telling her about us?”

“ Xena I’m not ashamed of our past.”

“ Neither am I, but you had no right to tell her, that was not your place, I
had planned on telling her later, after we had got to know each other better,
but yu didn’t give me that chance. Thank you.”

End of part 1
Continue on to Part 2

Let me know what you think of this one

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