The Royal Academy of Bards
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Academy of Bards Challenge #26 Quoth the Raven, Nevermore

The Bard Solstice Challenge #26:  Quoth The Raven, Nevermore


The Challenge is to write a story using lines chosen from each of the three lists.

YOUR CHOICE- any fandom, uber or original characters can be used.

Drama or comedy?

Holiday story or not?

The catch?
You MUST use one of the quotes in List A as your opening line, one of the lines/phrases in list B somewhere in your story and one of the quotes in column C as your ending line.

You may recognize the lines/quotes. <.g.>

  • 1-800-SPANK ME.  I know that number.
  • All I want is what’s coming to me.
  • Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.
  • God bless us everyone!
  • Happy birthday!
  • He got an idea…an awful idea.
  • Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?
  • I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season.
  • I prefer to blame Congress.
  • I’m over here you big horse’s ass, come and get me before I call the police.
  • It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages boxes or bags!
  • Not too hot.  Extra chocolate.  Shaken, not stirred.
  • Of course, sir! A fine night for spirits of one form or another, sir!
  • One of us is going to jail…well, it’s not gonna be me.
  • The six senses—to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to feel…to be.
  • They’re obviously jealous of my nose.  Anybody would be.
  • This is Christmas. The season of perpetual hope.
  • We’ll have to outwit the fiend with our superior intelligence.
  • You know what the imagination is?
  • You used up all the glue on purpose.
  • You want a ticket, wiseguy?
  • You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
  • You’ve been given a great gift…a chance to see what the world would be like without you.
  • You’ve obviously never been neck deep in nuns.
  • Ask and it shall be given to you.
  • Be joyful in hope.
  • Be strong and courageous.
  • Don’t be afraid, just believe.
  • He will give you the desires of your heart.
  • I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.
  • I am persuaded.
  • I can do all things.
  • I shall not be moved.
  • I will fear no evil.
  • I will give you rest.
  • I will lie down and sleep in peace.
  • In everything give thanks.
  • It is more blessed to give than to receive.
  • Keep it holy.
  • Lean not unto thine own understanding.
  • Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
  • Man shall not live by bread alone.
  • Plans fail for lack of counsel.
  • Put on the whole armor.
  • Teach me your way.
  • The greatest of these is love.
  • The truth shall set you free.
  • They will soar with wings like eagles.
  • Afterall, tomorrow is another day.
  • Fasten your seatbelts--it’s going to be a bumpy night.
  • Go ahead--make my day.
  • Hasta la vista, baby!
  • Hello, gorgeous.
  • Here’s looking at you, kid.
  • Houston, we have a problem.
  • I am big!
  • I coulda been a contender.
  • I see dead people.
  • I’ll be back.
  • I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.
  • I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.
  • Is there a problem, officers?
  • It was beauty that killed the beast.
  • It’s alive! It’s alive!
  • It’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into.
  • Say hello to my little friend.
  • Show me the money.
  • There’s no place like home.
  • We didn’t need dialogue—we had faces.
  • You ain’t heard nothin’ yet.
  • You talkin’ to me?
  • You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Da Roools

ROOOL #1: ALL entries must be no more than 50 pages in an 11 font.  I will be using MSWord to verify compliance.  I am lenient to a point.  An extra few paragraphs is fine…an extra dozen pages is not.  You may enter ONE story.

ROOOL #2: You MUST use the lines as directed above and choose one from each column. 

• Column A — opening/first line   • Column B — anywhere in the story   • Column C — last line 
NO PARAPHRASING…they must be quoted verbatim. UNDERLINE them in your story.
NO WHINING…there are 24 in each list to choose from…we suggest you choose wisely. 

ROOOL #3a: All competing entries will be posted anonymously. However, please put all identifying info on your entry (bard name/email for feedback).  We will remove it prior to posting and return it after the voting period.

ROOOL #3b: If you choose to participate but not compete in the voting category, your entry/entries will be posted with your identification on it.  Since it is not anonymous, you are allowed to include any characters that belong to you (from previous posted stories).  Please indicate, clearly on your entry/entries whether or not you are competing.

ROOOL #4: Please send your entries in MSWord or equivalent.  Rtf is preferred.  Please let our Munchkins do the coding.  It keeps them out of trouble and off the streets.

ROOOL #5a: If you are competing, please do not reveal your participation to anyone who has the potential for being a voter.  The only exception being beta readers but please keep the number of beta readers to a reasonable limit…anything more than three will be considered a violation of…

ROOOL #5b: Posting any of your entries on any other sites or lists (private or public) before the end of the contest is a BIG NO NO.  Once the contest is over and the winners are announced, feel free to post EVERYWHERE,

ROOOL #6: There is no number six.

ROOOL #7: Please do not stuff the ballot box or lobby for votes...we at the Academy have gotten very good at identifying this behavior.  We won't publicly embarrass you but we will quietly eliminate you from the contest. 

The Academy folks are everywhere and know everything…we will find out.

The "Roools Committee": the Munchkins and I, reserve the final say on everything and anything concerning this challenge. 
It's our sandbox. <.snicker.>

DEADLINE FOR ENTRIES IS December 12th…Send entries to:
I will acknowledge receipt of it within 24 hours, if I do not…please send it again to or contact me at

1 WINNER (and 1 Honorable Mention) will get a gift certificate from their choice of one of several popular online retailers and a Munchkin designed personalized framed tile commemorating their win.  

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