True To Yourself

by Carole Mortenson

PART 10— Ultimate Fulfillment

Go to Part 1


“By the way, where's my popcorn?”

Jordan was deep in thought, watching the fire intently—letting the colors of the flames guide her. The dark cherry-red flames smoldering in the coals pushed upward and changed into the blue and yellow cooler flames as she thought simultaneously of her own red-hot passion simmering, yet trying to burst through the cool outward exterior she was conveying to Andy. She didn't realize Andy had come back into the living room until she spoke, and wondered how long she had been standing there. She stood up from the couch and turned to face her, her thoughts dissolving immediately.

“I didn't think you'd really want any,” she replied.

She noticed Andy had changed into her sweatpants from her heavy cords and had shed her striped, fleecy, long-sleeved shirt—leaving her only in a T-shirt. She was in stocking feet. Jordan noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, either. She pulled her eyes guiltily back up to Andy's face.

“Of course I did,” Andy said, smiling. “I think I'd like eating popcorn before a fire. It would be fun. But since you didn't bring any back for me—“ She shrugged her shoulders.

“Let me go pop some, then. It'll only take a minute.” Jordan walked quickly into the kitchen as Andy curled up on the couch. “Do you want it buttered?” she asked loudly as she moved some pans around in a lower cupboard, looking for the air popper.

“Yes, that would be wonderful. If it's no trouble,” Andy replied. She plumped up the large pillow that was against the arm of the couch and leaned herself into it comfortably.

“No trouble at all. Are you feeling better now?” Jordan called from the kitchen, noting that the kitchen clock said 8 o'clock. It was almost dark outside. It had started raining cats and dogs in the last few minutes.

“Yes, I'm much better now. It was just such a shock seeing Jessica.”

Five minutes later, Jordan came out with a heaping bowl of popcorn and placed it on the coffee table along with some napkins. “Just like in the movies,” she said. She sat down next to Andy, who uncurled herself so she could reach the popcorn.

“Do you think your friend Jessica really knows what happened?' Jordan asked, stretching for a handful of popcorn. “It seemed to me she was just curious about who you were with.”

“I'm not absolutely sure, Jordan. But if she doesn't know, why did she run off so quickly?”

“Could it be because her husband was waiting for her? That was her husband, wasn't it?” Jordan queried.

“Yeah, that was her husband. That was good ol' Bob,” Andy responded. “But she kept staring at you.”

“Well, maybe she'd never seen such a handsome specimen of a woman like me before.” Jordan grinned broadly.

Andy couldn't help but chuckle at Jordan's remark. “You're probably right,” she said. “Maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit. Ken may not have said anything at all. I doubt that's the case, though. He surely wouldn't keep something like this to himself this long.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, staring into the fire and munching on handfuls of popcorn. Jordan slowly undid her pony tail and let her hair cascade down over her shoulders and ran her fingers through it as she shook it out. She took off her boots and placed them on the floor at the end of the couch and then stretched her legs out on the coffee table.

“I'm sorry I'm not very good company tonight,” Andy said, breaking the silence. “I'm just worried about what's going to happen—with me—with Ken. And if Jessica doesn't know about Ken and me yet, she'll probably tell him that she saw me with you. And if she remembers who you are, she might tell him that, too, and he would find me—us—“ Andy halted, stumbling over her words.

Jordan interrupted her as she draped her arm across the back of the couch. “I can understand why you're worried. But there's nothing to be done about it now, except just wait and see what Ken does. You can't go back and erase what happened. And everything you're saying is only a conjecture of what might happen. That doesn't mean it will .”

“You're right, Jordan. I don't need to worry about something that hasn't even happened yet, do I?”

Andy was deep in thought for a moment and then changed the subject. “I really did have a good time today up in the mountains, Jordan. I didn't think I would, but I did . The mountains were absolutely magnificent!” She closed her eyes and recaptured the beauty.

“And I haven't had so much fun in ages, either!” Jordan responded with enthusiasm. “God, you wouldn't think that such a simple activity as throwing snowballs would be so much fun! We had a ball, didn't we?” She looked at Andy, who was nodding her head.

They were silent again, munching on popcorn and listening to the crackling of the fire and the heavy rain pounding on the roof.

“You are really very understanding, Jordan.” Andy reached up and took Jordan's arm down from the back of the couch and took her hand in one of her own. “I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come to my rescue.”

The lights suddenly flickered and went out. Except for the dying fire in the fireplace, they were left in darkness.

“Oh, God, not again,” Jordan said in dismay. “I need to add some more wood to the fire so we can have more light.”

“So we can at least see the popcorn we're eating,” Andy added jokingly, in what was her first attempt at humor since she had come to Jordan's house.

Jordan pulled her hand out of Andy's and went over to the woodbin by the side of the fireplace. She carefully selected the logs that would be most suitable and laid them gently on the fire and squatted there for a moment to make sure they were going to catch fire.

Where do I go from here? she wondered. What do I do now? The popcorn will be gone soon. Should we play Scrabble or something?

“I'll get us something to drink,” she told Andy after replacing the screen in front of the fireplace. She reached for the flashlight that was always handy on the fireplace mantel and went into the kitchen where she poured two large glasses of strawberry smoothies.

She came back with the drinks and set them on the coffee table, muttering, “Popcorn's kind of dry, isn't it? Even with the butter on it.” She was running out of things to say. She went back into the kitchen where she retrieved the flashlight and put it back on the fireplace mantel.

“It's so nice here by the fire,” Andy said when Jordan sat down. She took Jordan's hand again. “We really don't need to have a care in the world—just for tonight—do we, Jordan?”

“No, we don't,” Jordan replied, staring at the fire. “The world is out there, but we can't see it anyway because it's dark. And it's pouring down rain! So just for tonight, we'll pretend it isn't there—with all the cares and miseries that go along with it.” She squeezed Andy's hand gently, then turned it loose and reached for more popcorn.

Another moment of silence. They ate popcorn and drank their smoothies, mesmerized by the fire.

“Jordan,” Andy began, “when I asked you if someone else lived with you when you told me I wasn't imposing on you by staying here, you said no, there was only Megan. Then you said, ‘It's been this way since the superstorm.' What did you mean?”

Jordan looked at Andy and couldn't help the hurt that came to her eyes. She paused for a moment and then the words rushed out.

“I lost my partner, Ellie, during the superstorm last December. She tried to drive to Denver at the height of the storm and didn't make it. They found her by the side of the Interstate three days later, pinned down by her car. She'd slid off down the side of an embankment.” Jordan turned her eyes back to the fire.

“It was my fault that she died,” she continued. “I turned her out the night before the storm. I caught her in our bed with a friend she had asked to stay with us. If I hadn't told her to leave, she'd still be alive. She'd been my partner for two years.”

“Oh, God, Jordan!” Andy exclaimed. “I'm so sorry.” She touched her hand briefly to Jordan's leg and quickly withdrew it.

“That's all over now. There's been no one else here till you came. Except for Megan. I brought her home to live with me when her parents—my youngest sister and her husband—were killed in a plane crash the day after New Year's. My other sister couldn't keep her. Didn't want her. That is, her husband thought it would be better if she came to live with me.”

She added carefully, “I haven't really needed…or wanted…another woman—until now.” Her voice was soft…low…subdued.

Andy was surprised. Was she really hearing what she was hearing?

“Jordan, look at me,” Andy said, seriously, turning to face her. “Do you know what you're saying?”

“Yes, Andy.” Jordan looked searchingly into Andy's eyes. “Do you know what I'm saying?”

She might as well get it out into the open. She knew Andy was not ready for her love—perhaps never would be. She didn't know anything about a woman's love and wasn't ready to love her back. But she had to be honest with her. She couldn't go on having Andy stay with her without knowing how she felt. She was taking a chance by telling her. Andy could say that under the circumstances, she'd have to stay somewhere else. She waited for Andy's answer.

Andy's heart was beating wildly. She was startled. She had hoped, but never thought it possible, that Jordan would desire her. Her courage grew, and she slid over and leaned into her shoulder. Jordan's arm automatically went around her and pulled her in close. Andy circled Jordan's waist with her other arm.

She looked up at Jordan and then said carefully—the words nevertheless pouring out, “I need you, too, Jordan. And I want you—with all there is of me. God, I want you so much . But I never knew what to do about it. I never dreamed you would feel this way about me.”

Jordan's heart started beating faster, and desire arose and engulfed her awakened senses. She took her hand and lifted Andy's face up to her and lowered her head, gently brushing her lips—once, twice, three times. She pulled back and looked at Andy's beautiful dark-brown eyes and saw what she was looking for. She lowered her head again and put her mouth fully on Andy's. They kissed deeply and sensuously. Soon she coaxed Andy's mouth open with her tongue and Andy's tongue met hers. Jordan could taste Andy's minty toothpaste mingled with the salty popcorn—her mouth was delicious!

Jordan started to pull away. She wanted to tell Andy of the flavorful sensations, but Andy put her hands in Jordan's thick hair and kept her lips to her own. She didn't want the moment to end. She never knew a woman's kiss could be so exciting and sensual at the same time. Her senses reeled with the taste of salty popcorn from Jordan's mouth, too, mixed in with the minty taste of Jordan's toothpaste, and she realized suddenly that they used the same kind of toothpaste! And Jordan's tongue felt exquisite! So soft and warm and yielding.

She finally allowed Jordan to pull her lips away. She took Jordan's hand and placed it on her breast. “Show me what to do, Jordan,” she pleaded. “I don't know what to do.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, Andy?” Jordan said huskily.

“I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life.” She covered Jordan's hand on her breast with her own. “Just show me what to do—“ She looked pleadingly into Jordan's eyes.

Jordan took her hand away and turned her body around to face toward Andy. “I'll be very gentle, Andy,” she said. “I've waited for you for a long time.”


CHAPTER THIRTY -- The Other Side

“Bob, did you know Andy Lee was at Gunther Toody's today when we were there?” Jess asked her husband while she loaded the dishwasher after dinner.

“Oh, really? No, I didn't see her. Where was she?” He was sitting in front of the TV watching the Saturday Evening News and reading the sports section of the newspaper at the same time. He was scanning the columns to find out when the NFL games would start their regular season and was barely paying attention to Jess.

Why can't she be quiet when I'm trying to read the newspaper? She's never quiet. Always talking.

Deliberately not answering Bob's question directly in her rush to get everything out that she wanted to say, Jess went on, “Andy Lee was having lunch there with another woman .” She emphasized the word woman . “And there was a little girl with the woman, who Andy Lee said was her niece.”

“Oh, really? What's so strange about that?” Bob asked, disinterestedly.

“I know that woman, Bob.”

He put the newspaper down on his lap. “What do you mean—you know that woman?”

“Do you remember when we were snowed in at the mall a couple weeks before Christmas last year, and we were in lockdown and weren't allowed to leave?”

“Yeah.” He pictured the scene and how much he'd been worried about Jess. But he knew she was with Andrea then, so that eased his anxiety. Andrea at least had a level head on her shoulders in tense situations. Unlike his dear wife, who was rather flighty at times.

Jess was continuing. “While we were there, an old lady collapsed on the floor, and the fire department came with a paramedic who attended to her.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Bob queried, wondering if Jess would ever get to the point. Had she finally flipped her lid? She'd been acting awfully strange ever since he'd gotten a promotion, and she didn't have to work anymore. It was too bad they found out after they were married that they couldn't have children. Jess would have had grandchildren by now, he mused. Something to occupy her free time. Maybe they should have more seriously considered adoption.

“That paramedic was a woman,” Jess said.


“That woman was the one I saw Andy Lee with today. I'm sure of it.”

Bob thought for a moment. “So? A woman paramedic. So what?”

“Andy Lee was really upset when the fire department came. When a young fireman brought back her OHM bracelet she dropped when she was up there watching them, that woman paramedic waved to her and smiled, and Andy Lee waved back and smiled at her, too.”

“I don't see what that has to do with anything.”

“Don't you think it's a little strange that she would be having lunch with that woman? Eight months after the superstorm?”

Bob rummaged through his mind. “Not really,” he said. He still didn't get what Jessica was trying to say. “So she made a friend, and they hit it off. So what ?”

Jessica finished with her task in the kitchen and came into the living room and sat down on the couch and picked up her needlework.

“Do you know that it's the consensus of most people that a lot of women firefighters are lesbians?”

“Oh, really?” Bob thought again for a moment. “Are you trying to tell me that Andrea is involved with a lesbian? No. I find that hard to believe. We've known Ken and Andrea and have been friends with them for over fifteen years!”

“Think about it, Bob. It's months after the superstorm. Andy Lee has never mentioned to me about her new friend . Why not? We've known each other for years! She wouldn't not say something to me, if it was a simple friendship.”

“Maybe they're not really that close of friends. Maybe Andrea just ran into this woman and she was invited to join her and her daughter for lunch. You said the woman had a little girl, so she is obviously married.”

“Not necessarily. Bob, aren't you listening to me? Andy Lee introduced the little girl as her friend's niece, not her daughter. Don't you think that's strange?”

Bob didn't know what to say, so he shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his newspaper. He knew the Tavanaughs and thought his wife had finally lost a few marbles. Unusual things like this happen when a woman enters her mid-life crisis, don't they? He had determined that Jessica was no different in that regard. He'd seen it coming a long time ago.

Jessica saw that the discussion was ended as far as her husband was concerned. “I think I'll call over to the Tavanaughs and see if Andy Lee is there,” she said. “I haven't talked to her in a coon's age. I didn't have a chance to say anything but hello to her at Gunther Toody ' s .”

Bob thought Jessica should keep her nose out of other people's business, but didn't dare tell her. He was having problems enough with Jessica not working as a nanny now—or even trying to babysit. She had far too much time on her hands. Jess needed something to keep her occupied again, instead of always trying to find out what was going on in other people's lives. She could get in a lot of trouble, snooping around. Though Andrea was her friend—

Jess put her needlework down and went back into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

On the fourth ring, Ken answered. “Hello,” he said, rather gruffly.

“Hi Ken. This is Jessica Sessions. Is Andy Lee there?”

“No. She's not here. She's gone to visit our sons in California.”

“Really? She didn't call me to let me know she was going.”

“It was kind of sudden. She left last Sunday.”

“How long is she going to be gone?”

“At least a month.”

Jessica was silent for a moment. No further information was forthcoming from Ken. “Well, when you talk to her,” she said, “tell her I called, will you? And I'll look forward to hearing all about her trip.”

“I'll do that.” Ken abruptly hung up.

Gone a month or longer. But she had seen Andy Lee just today at Gunther Toody ' s with that woman . It hadn't even been a week since she had supposedly left for California. And Andy promised to call her soon—on her cell phone. Why not from her home phone? Unless she wasn't at home. She wondered what was going on. She remembered last December at the mall Andy Lee had said, “I don't need any more piled on my plate right now. I have enough to deal with as it is.” What did she mean by that? Did it have anything to do with what was going on now? And for Andy Lee not to be in touch with her—at least by phone—for such a long time, was very unusual .

“Bob,” she said, coming back into the living room, “do you know anything about what's going on with Ken and Andy Lee?”

“What do you mean?” Bob answered. He put his paper down again, breathing a deep sigh of resignation.

“Ken said Andy Lee is in California visiting their sons and won't be back for at least a month. He said she left last week. But I just saw her today at Gunther Toody ' s . Do you have any idea what's going on?”

“No. Should I? I see Ken at work and he's never said anything to me. He seems perfectly normal to me. He comes to work on time, does his job—a little grouchy at times, but that's how Ken usually is—and he leaves on time. If there was anything seriously wrong, I'm sure he would say something.”

“Well, why would Andy Lee take off like that without telling me, then? And why would she be at Gunther Toody ' s ?”

“How the hell should I know?” Bob finally burst out. “You and she are supposed to be friends. How come you don't know?”

“Well…you don't have to yell at me. I was only asking.”

“Leave it alone, Jess,” Bob said, his voice louder than usual again. “It's none of our business. Just…leave it…alone!” he emphasized.

He brought his paper back up to his face. He was fed up with Jessica interrupting him. He had better things to do than listen to her carrying on about some imaginary romantic rendezvous between Andrea and another woman. Maybe she'd leave him alone now that he'd gotten upset with her.

Hmm , Jess thought, going over her conversation with Ken again and a little unsettled with Bob's outburst. That's really strange about Andy Lee. I think there's something going on over there. How can I find out? Bob doesn't understand how important this is to me. Andy Lee is my friend. And if Andy Lee is in some kind of trouble, I'll help her, she resolutely decided.

She took up her needlework with renewed vigor, working as steadily with her mind as she did with her hands. I'm going to get to the bottom of this.


Jordan put both her hands under the bottom of Andy's T-shirt and slowly pulled it over her head. She gazed with desire on Andy's full, mature breasts. Andy made no effort to resist. She leaned Andy back onto the pillow propped up against the arm of the couch as she brought her hands to Andy's breasts. She slowly caressed one and then the other while her mouth kissed her neck and shoulders again and again.

Andy's head was leaning back on the cushion and her eyes were closed as she made little murmuring sounds. Oh, God, she thought, I never knew Jordan's hands would be so soft and gentle…and her mouth —oh, God!

Jordan thought, She's so beautiful and soft. I need her so much. With a groan, she lowered her head and brought her lips to Andy's breasts, kissing them first and then stroking softly with her tongue. She took one nipple and then the other in her mouth. Her hand slid up and down Andy's thighs over the outside of her sweatpants.

I need to go slow, she reminded herself. This is the first time for Andy with a woman. I can't hurt her. I want it to be good for her.

She brought her mouth to Andy's again, thrusting her tongue back and forth as her desire became more intense. Andy's arms were wrapped around her neck. Then Jordan pulled herself away from Andy, saying, “I've got to get this shirt off.” Before my boobs pop my buttons, she thought silently.

She hurriedly tried to unbutton her shirt. Her hands were shaking. Andy sat up and reached out to help her. As she opened her shirt at last, her breasts sprung loose. She wasn't wearing a bra, either. She only wore one at work.

Andy gasped, “You're so beautiful, Jordan.” She took one of Jordan's breasts in her hand and then the other. She tried to caress them, but they were so large that she didn't quite know how to do it. “I'll show you how,” Jordan said, catching her breath. “I'll show you how I like it.”

She put her hands over Andy's and made both their hands circle her breasts together and gently squeeze at the same time. She turned loose and then took Andy's breasts into her own hands and began to do the same thing to her. Andy is getting the hang of it, she marveled, as waves of desire spread down her throbbing thighs.

Then she lowered her lips to Andy's mouth again, who received her tongue with her own. They stayed this way for a moment, kissing and caressing each other.

Jordan broke away suddenly. She took Andy's face in both hands and kissed her mouth, her eyes, her cheeks…and then back to her mouth. She stopped and leaned back on the couch, breathless.

Andy thought, Is this all there is to it? Why did Jordan stop? Doesn't she really want me?

Andy leaned into Jordan's shoulder. She put her hand on Jordan's stomach and then moved it up and placed it on one of her breasts. She finally looked up at her. Jordan's eyes were closed.

She has to stop, Jordan was thinking. God, she has to stop. Or maybe it's me who has to stop. It's hard for me to deal with myself right now. And she's not helping matters….Why did I start this in the first place? We shouldn't be doing this. Things are complicated enough.

Jordan wasn't sure of herself. She wondered if she was doing the right thing. Was she taking advantage of Andy's disadvantage because of her situation with Ken—or Andy's innocence—or both? She savored the moment that had just brought them together, and she was sure Andy was a lesbian. But she wasn't sure she should take Andy any farther. Or if Andy even wanted to go farther. She was so inexperienced . She couldn't possibly know what she was letting herself in for if Jordan took her all the way.

“Jordan, what's the matter?” Andy asked, when Jordan showed no response. “Have I done something wrong?”

“Oh, God, no, Andy,” Jordan managed to reply. She opened her eyes and gazed longingly at her. “You haven't done a single thing wrong! Please don't think you've done anything wrong.” She put her hand over Andy's hand. “I guess it's me , and I'm wondering what to do.”

What do you mean, Jordan?” Andy's question was left unanswered as Jordan's arm went around her again. Pulling her close, Jordan lowered her head and kissed Andy on the forehead, leaving her lips there for a short moment. Then she leaned back on the couch again. “Oh, God, Andy—”

“What are you wondering about, Jordan?” Andy implored. “Have you changed your mind?”

Andy's mind began racing around in circles, wondering what she had done, or even if she had done anything at all. It was all so confusing. And why did Jordan say she guessed it was her. If anything, it was my fault for saying anything. The way she talked, I thought she was over Ellie. Maybe I was wrong—

Not knowing what else to do when Jordan didn't reply, Andy drew away from her and leaned back against the plumped-up pillow and started to pull her T-shirt back on. Tears were beginning to leak from her eyes.

* * * * * *

Dammit, Ken thought. What am I going to do? Andrea is gone, Jessica Sessions is knocking on my door, and some of the guys at work are wondering why I'm so grouchy—more than my usual self. On top of that, my work is getting shoddy, and I can't sleep. How long can I keep from spilling the beans about what happened? What would everyone think of me? They would think I had done something wrong to bring this on, instead of it being Andrea's fault.

Ken didn't go to breakfast with his buddies this Saturday morning. But there were still the three others of his foursome: Oscar, Scott, and Les. He told Oscar, who called shortly after breakfast, that he was not feeling well.

“We wondered why you didn't show up for breakfast,” Oscar said. “Is it anything serious?”

“I don't think so. Just a bug of some kind. I'll probably be better by tomorrow.” Ken wished people wouldn't be so nosey about something as trivial as his not coming to breakfast.

“Well, take care of yourself,” Oscar finally said.

“Yeah, I will,” Ken responded. “I'll probably see you guys next Saturday.” Then as an afterthought, he added. “And thanks.” No sense in not being polite to one of his friends just because of what Andrea had done.

Yeah, take care of myself, he thought as he hung up the phone. There's no one here anymore to do it for me. His mind retreated back into its bitterness as he wondered where Andrea was now. He decided again that she got what she deserved.

“We're in for another stormy night,” the weather forecaster was saying on the six o'clock news that evening. Ken turned his focus back to the TV. He'd been dozing in his chair. Damned weather, he fumed. I wish I could get rid of it as easily as I got rid of Andrea. All it does is remind me of her and her hair-brained ideas of a global superstorm coming. She doesn't know squat !

But he also thought about how the storms had increased over the past months since last December, with heavy snowfalls every couple of weeks. Andrea had loved the snow, and he had been more than willing to let her shovel it, too! The last snowfall was in late May, and the snow was gone from the ground now. But they'd had rain all the time since then, and it was raining almost every night now. Not the usual summer thunderstorms they'd had years ago, but steady, heavy, cold rainfall! It bothered him that moss was growing in his grass. He'd not had moss before and didn't know what to do about that, either. He wasn't about to pay someone to come out and take care of his lawn. Andrea usually did that—

And it was freezing! He wondered if it was ever going to warm up again. He'd had to buy a winter coat when the snow started falling regularly, and he had begun wearing it now in the house since Andrea had left. He didn't want to run the furnace in the summertime, for chrissake! It was too expensive. Andy had insisted on staying warm and regularly turned the furnace up, but now that she wasn't around—

Then the power kept going off. Newscasters said the city was having a difficult time keeping up with the demand for electricity because of the cold. The continued heavy rain often shorted out their circuits, causing more power outages for longer periods of time.

Everything seems to be going wrong in my life now, Ken decided . Why did Andrea have to change? Maybe I should have tried to understand. No! There is no way I would ever accept something like that, much less live with it. Good riddance!

The rain drummed on the roof with intensity, and the water ran in torrents down the gutter as Ken shuffled his way to bed shortly after 8 o'clock, still angry. He used his flashlight to find his way. He'd had to quit watching TV, because of the power going off.



Jordan needed to pursue what was happening. She couldn't stop with just this little bit of foreplay. Even though it was Andy's first time with a woman, it was not enough for Jordan. She was used to having sex with a woman. She needed to go all the way. And God, here is Andy, right here beside me and so willing. It had been so long—but she wasn't going to force herself on her.

She made her decision. She turned to Andy, who had slipped one arm into her T-shirt. “We can't go any farther on the couch, Andy. We need to be in bed,” she said, her voice cracking.

Andy stopped what she was doing. Jordan looked at her uncertainly and then asked, “Are you still sure this is what you want? We don't have to do anything you don't want.” She was ready for Andy to back out—which it looked like she was doing—and she was willing to accept that. But her whole mind was saying: Let it be yes, let it be yes—

“Yes, Jordan, this is what I want. Oh, God, yes.” Her voice was cracking, too. She had never known such desire outside of her dreams. She knew now that it wasn't Jordan's remembrance of Ellie that caused her hesitation. She let her T-shirt slide back off her arm and drop to the floor and reached out to Jordan. “Please…don't stop now. I want you so much, Jordan. I've wanted you for such a long time. Make love to me.”

Jordan drew her in closer again, filled with emotion. She wiped the tears away that had started to run down Andy's cheeks. How could she have ever doubted herself or the way Andy felt about her?

“Don't cry, Andy. It'll be all right,” Jordan said with tenderness. She started breathing quicker. Then she got up from the couch, pulling Andy up. She put her arms around her and held her tight. Andy's arms went around Jordan's neck. As they kissed, Jordan slid her hands up and down Andy's back and then went lower and cupped her buttocks—squeezing gently. She felt a slight tensing from Andy, and Andy's breathing was becoming more rapid now, too. Jordan thought, She's ready for this….God, she's so ready—

“Come on,” Jordan said hoarsely, taking Andy's hand. Andy stumbled along behind her while using her free hand to take off her socks, leaving them in a trail on the floor behind her. They went into Andy's bedroom.

Jordan tripped over the chair that Andy used at her computer. “Damn,” she exclaimed. “It's dark in here.”

She found the bed and sat Andy down on the edge. Then she leaned her back on the bedspread and, with Andy's help, began to pull off her sweatpants. She doesn't have any underwear on, either, she marveled. This woman has waylaid me!

Andy lay there naked and Jordan stretched out beside her, then curved over her and started kissing her and fondling her breasts again. Andy reached a hand down to Jordan's pants, and Jordan remembered she hadn't taken all of her clothes off yet. I'm too excited, she thought. She stood up and hurriedly stripped her pants off, along with her underwear and socks, leaving them lying in a pile on the floor.

As she lay beside Andy, her desire was so strong that she was shaking, and she didn't think she could hold herself back. But Andy deserved more than a rough, sexual encounter and immediate consummation. It was her first time. She would slow down, for Andy's sake.

She curved over Andy's body again and thrust her leg in between Andy's thighs. Oh, God, she's so easy. She's so beautiful. She started kissing her with more intensity, her tongue thrusting more swiftly. Andy answered in kind, her own tongue circling passionately.

Jordan lifted her whole body over Andy, moving her thighs wider apart. With an undecipherable sound, she closed her eyes and lowered herself onto Andy—fitting her dark thatch of hair between Andy's legs. Jordan bent her head down so her tongue could stroke and circle Andy's nipples. Then she straight-armed up, and the sound in her throat was helpless, as if she couldn't control her body. Andy reached up with both hands and caressed Jordan's breasts while Jordan continued the unabated undulating of her hips. Andy tried to help her, synchronizing her own hips to the pulsing rhythms of Jordan's body.

Finally, Jordan lowered herself fully onto Andy, letting the spastic fluttering flow through her, powerless to sustain the release any longer. Shudder after shudder coursed through her in an amazing orgasm she didn't remember ever having so completely before.

She rolled off of Andy to lie beside her, breathing heavily.

Andy said, hesitatingly, “Was it really good for you, Jordan? Was I all right?”

“Sweetheart, it was beautiful for me. You were perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything more. You were wonderful.”

“Is that all there is to it?” Andy asked. She was confused and more than a little in the dark because of what she had read about lesbian love-making in the novels she had read. “Is that all that women do with each other?”

Jordan waited for her breathing to slow down. Is that all? Hardly!

“No, that's not all,” she said, chuckling. “It's your turn now.”

“Jordan, I don't know if I can do what you just did. I could try, but I'm about as pure a virgin lesbian as you can get. I don't know if I could do anything like that. I don't know anything.”

“You won't have to do what I did. I'm going to help you in another way. I'll be gentle. Trust me. Relax.”

Andy felt Jordan's mouth on hers again, slow and savoring this time, lacking the urgency and swift thrusting that had ended in Jordan's consummation. Jordan's hands began caressing her breasts and then her tongue began stroking her nipples again. She blew little puffs of air that sent shivers all over Andy, who felt desire flowing over her in waves. She tried to relax, as Jordan move her hands over her stomach, down the outside of her thighs and buttocks— Oh, so soft, so smooth—

Andy tensed, and realized what was going to happen when Jordan put her hand down between her legs and slowly spread her thighs apart. She caught her breath and felt she would die if Jordan stopped now. Jordan's finger found her wetness and began stroking up and down, circling, slowly, until Andy felt she was going to faint with ecstasy. Jordan's mouth melted her as she kissed her breasts over and over, kissed up and down her stomach and then put her delicious lips on her mouth again.

“Oh, God, Jordan, I never knew it could feel like this,” she moaned, when she could catch her breath.

“You just love it, don't you?”

“Oh, yes! Don't stop…don't stop—“

Jordan speeded up her finger and then added a second finger and inserted both into Andy's vagina and began thrusting in the milky velvet—in and out, in and out. Andy found the rhythm of Jordan's fingers and her hips moved up and down at the same time.

All of a sudden Jordan removed her hand. God, why did she stop” Andy thought. I wasn't finished yet. I didn't have enough time to get around to—

She opened her eyes wide when Jordan spread her thighs even wider, and moved down on her until her head was between them right where her—

“Oh, God, Jordan. What are you doing?” she exclaimed helplessly.

“You're wet enough,” Jordan said. She put her hands under Andy's thighs and lowered her mouth into the folds of Andy's milky softness. Her tongue began moving up and down, in and out, circling and flicking back and forth on her clit until Andy thought she was going to die.

“Oh God…oh God…oh God…” she kept saying over and over. She had never known such erotic pleasure before!

Her eyes closed, and she started thrashing on the bed and undulating up and down with ecstasy. And still Jordan's tongue didn't stop. It had begun slowly at first. Then it became faster and faster, deeper and deeper, while she licked and tasted every fold that was there, drinking in the vast, salty, satiny velvet—

Andy brought her hands down and held on to Jordan's hair to keep her head clasped between her thighs. “Don't stop…don't stop…don't stop…” Andy said in between moans. Around and around, up and down Jordan furiously went with her tongue, until Andy was at the brink—almost there—almost there—

Andy let out a long moan and then arched her back. Her body stilled. She fell over the edge and began to shudder—once…twice—until a whole series of shudders went through her whole body as a full mind-blowing orgasm came up her legs and gripped her. Her breathing became jagged. Finally, she fell back on the bed, gasping.

Jordan came again with her second orgasm at the same time. She loved Andy so much that Andy was a part of her now. She couldn't control her emotions when it came to pleasuring Andy and herself at the same time—it was altogether as one. She was breathing hard. She raised her head, her hair falling over her eyes, and said between gasps, “You love that even more , don't you?” Andy was so overcome with emotion, she couldn't answer.

Jordan looked up at Andy and then wiped her face on the bedspread and covered Andy's body with her own body again. She kissed her breasts, kissed her mouth, and then rolled over to lie quietly beside her. Andy was still breathing rapidly, as was Jordan.

“That's what women do with each other,” Jordan said, finally catching her breath. “Are you surprised?” She took hold of Andy's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed her fingers. Her forehead was wet with beads of light perspiration.

“Oh, God, Jordan, I never knew it would be like this. I've never felt anything like this before. I've read about this kind of love in lesbian novels, but when it's the real thing, it's unbelievable! Do lesbians make love like this all the time?”

“Most of the time, with a few variations. Do you want to try something different?” Andy could see Jordan smiling in the dim light coming from outside through the window.

“Let me catch my breath first,” Andy replied. “I want to ‘bask in the moment', as the heroine said after being kissed by her beloved.”

They both laughed—a good laugh, a releasing laugh.

“I know this was your first time with a woman, Andy. Was it good for you? Was I too rough?”

Andy leaned over and ran her hand through Jordan's hair and then kissed her on the mouth, on the little scar at the corner of her mouth. Then she kissed her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her chin, down her neck to her breasts. She kissed each breast and then suckled each one, marveling at the fullness of them in her mouth.

Then she said, “This is the best sex I've ever had! And no, you weren't rough at all. You were so gentle. It couldn't have been better.”

Jordan welcomed her caresses. It had been so long. And Andy was so willing to learn what Jordan liked best for a woman to do to her.

God, what she can do with my breasts! I could let her play around with me like that for a very long time!

“Do you want me to do to you what you just did to me?” Andy asked shyly.

“Not right now. I don't mind reversing positions—me on the bottom and you on top. But I'm able to come at the same time when I go down, and it was absolutely wonderful with you. I don't need you to do the same thing to me this time.” She thought she noticed Andy was beginning to pout, and added, “But I will sometime soon. I promise.”

Jordan thought it was marvelous that Andy wanted to do everything, right now . This was the first time they had made love, and Andy already wanted to give her pleasure.

“Right now I just want to taste you all over again,” Jordan continued. “I want to bury my mouth between your thighs and feel you all over with my tongue. I want to explore your body and kiss every part of you. You're so sweet and wonderful. You make me feel alive. I can't get enough of you.”

Then— Oh, God, she moaned, as desire again overwhelmed her. She turned and bent over Andy again, starting with kisses on her mouth, caresses on her breasts. Her fingers moved between her thighs and then she quickly moved her head down until her tongue was stroking in Andy's wetness, moving slower this time. She savored everything about her, knowing they had all night. Andy's orgasm was stronger this time, her shuddering longer. Jordan came again, with another amazing release.

The night passed, sleep and love-making alternated. The rain fell heavily and relentlessly, drumming loudly on the roof, and the lights never came back on.

To be continued...

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