One Against An Army

By D.C. Parker

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Disclaimer:  Xena Warrior Princess, it’s characters and all related materials are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures.

Those lucky dudes.

Character uses are for entertainment only, not to hurt any rights. As always.

Warning: We are talking about Xena here guys…so there is always the chance of something dangerous happening, in one way or the other .

Anyway, this scene is about two women finally getting a clue about what the rest of the world has known long before them. So if you are under 18 years old, or this kind of story is forbidden where you live, please do not read it.

Or move… ;)

Xena’s POV:  After having defeated the Persian army, the warrior finally acknowledges what she feels for the Bard while both relive the death of Xena’s son.



I am ripped violently out of this nightmare. I sit up, panting, covered in sweat, my heart hammering so hard in my chest it hurts. Instantly my hand reaches over to where she is supposed to be resting, and I feel panic starting to take over as I find that space empty. I rub my eyes, trying to clear them of the fog, and I groan as I heavily start to get up, every part of my body aching badly from the hard fight against those Persian bastards.

Considering the murky shadows surrounding me, it must be close to sundown again, and I can’t believe I actually slept almost a whole day. I look around me in a haste, frantically searching for a sign of where Gabrielle could be. And I can’t stop myself from starting to shake as the pictures of my nightmare start mixing with my present, and I see her laying on the floor, white as a sheet, blood dripping from her full lips, eyes open and empty, already dead…


My voice breaks on that word, and I need a moment to try and catch my breath again, try to force down the pain and hurt that facing her death has brought. I fight down the images that will surely haunt me for the rest of my life, try not to think about what could have happened. I remind my panic stricken mind that there is no one in this place other than us, and that nothing would have happened in here without me noticing it. And yet, here I am, searching for her, because I slept so heavily I never even heard her get up.


I move over to where the ladder is, and look down, and I can feel relief flooding my body so suddenly I am short of collapsing. There she is, sitting next to the fire, covered with the heavy sleeping fur I scrounged up for her when we got here. Her head is bent towards a pot that hangs above the gently crackling flames, her face deeply lost in thought.

I sigh, shaking my head a little as I can feel my heart rate getting back to normal, and I take a moment of quiet peace to just stand there and watch her. So many things have happened during the last moons, I sometimes have to stop for a few seconds and remind myself that they indeed had been real, that nothing of it was just a bad nightmare, like I so desperately prayed for it to be.

So many lies. So much loss. So much pain…

What I have done to her…

I bite my lip. I remember, not too long ago, when I was standing there, on the ship sailing towards Chin, when I suddenly knew that what I felt for her was more than just what friends feel for each other, even the best ones. When I stood there, knowing I had left her for reasons she couldn’t possibly begin to understand. Knowing I had hurt her deeply, yes, but more so myself, for I knew she would never forgive me for this. I should have been concentrating on my mission, but all I could do was stand there, gripping the railing so hard my fingers ached, being miserable, and in pain. All I could do was think about her, those deep green eyes, that charming smile, her soft hands…and then it hit me, that I had given up not only the friend, but the one person I have ever really been in love with. And the moment I realized that, admitted it to myself, I also knew that I have loved her from the very beginning. And that I always would…no matter what happened.

Her betrayal…Hope killing my son…me trying to kill her in my mindless rage…none of it had changed that. I look at her now, and still see the most beautiful, loving soul I have ever met. And I still love her, more than she will ever know. And her almost dying only hours before…has left a scar deep inside me that never, ever can be healed again.

I take a closer look at her face, and what I see makes my heart beat faster again, for her cheeks are wet with tears, and her lips are trembling. I am down the ladder in a move so fast I even surprise myself with it, kneeling next to her in a blur of motions, a hand on her shoulder, the other under her chin, turning it carefully towards me.

“Gabrielle? What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Her green eyes are sad, and clouded over, and I swallow down a sudden lump in my throat, trying to calm my racing mind that’s yelling all kinds of possible reasons at me, most of them rating in ranks short of insane.

“I…I woke up…and I thought you…wanted a tea maybe…some herbs for your injuries.”

Her voice is very low, and still rough, and I instantly chastise myself again for not having heard her get up, because I sure as Hades wouldn’t have allowed her to make even one single move without my help. I still have to suppress a smile, though, because I never could fool her with saying I am fine after a battle. I should have known she would watch my every step as far as she was able to, like she always does. Always looking out for me. Of course she would have seen me limp slightly, hear my low groan when finally laying down next to her.

“Thank you…but you could have woken me up…I would have brewed it myself Gabrielle. You are still too weak for moving around so much.”

A tears spills down her cheek and I ever so softly catch it with my finger, wipe it away in a gesture so loving it almost scares me. Since when am I not able to control myself around her any longer?

“You needed some rest…I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.” Her voice breaks again and I have the sudden urge to turn away from that sad look. It pains me to see her like this. And like in every other situation that happens, I do the only thing I can think of.

“Come on now Gabrielle…you just didn’t want me to see you sucking at those flips again and you know it.”

A brilliant smile breaks out on her face, making her look even younger than I know she is. Gods, she is so beautiful…so breathtaking…

My my warrior princess… has gotten you bad, hasn’t she?!

I smile back, still silently mocking myself.

“Maybe I wanted to search around your little hideout for some new…”

I put a hand over her mouth, making her laugh with that motion.

“Don’t you dare say that word or I’m gonna pinch you!”

We both laugh a little, until her weakened body stops every fun we were having, torturing her with violent coughs, and I support her gently, holding her close to me until it has passed. I stroke her hair, pressing my lips down on top of her head, and roll my eyes at my inability to keep from doing those things any longer, at how the big bad warrior suddenly seemed to have turned into a huge pile of mush.

“Better?” I ask while I reach for a cup of tea she has already finished making, holding it out to her, letting her sip from it carefully. She nods, then slowly shakes her head, looking up at me with an expression so full of regret it robs me of breath.

“You…were talking in your sleep.”

She doesn’t need to say more. I remember those nightmares all too vividly. Not just the part about her dying. I remember the other pictures that haunted me as well. All of them.

“I…I never wanted him to get hurt Xena. I just…I…I…” I take one of her hands in mine, pressing down gently. I knew it would only be a matter of time until she would start with that.

“You did what every mother would have done Gabrielle.” Green eyes melt into mine, and I am helplessly caught in their grasp.

“I should have told you the truth. Maybe he would still be alive.” I give her a tired smile, taking deep breaths to try and ease the pain that suddenly holds my chest in a death vise grip.

“You didn’t kill my son Gabrielle.”

I knew she would carry that guilt with her forever. And suddenly, I start to understand a little more of her. Like why she insisted on staying here, not wanting to move on to Thessaly, not wanting me to search for the antidote.

I gasp in shock, staring into her eyes, finding a truth in them I haven’t seen there before. A truth that makes me angry beyond reason.

“I can’t believe you did that!”

I let go of her then, getting up, starting to pace around in front of her like I did last night. She bites her lip.

“Xena…if I would have told you…maybe you could have saved Solan…”

“How could you do that to me?! How could you even start to think that would make it all right?!”

I am in full anger mode now, unable to stop the emotions from flooding my senses, turning everything inside me into a white hot bolt of pain and fury. Gabrielle coughs again, then starts to get up as well, and when she manages, steps into my path, stopping me with both her hands on my arms, holding onto them as hard as she is able to in her weakened state.

“Xena…” She doesn’t know what to say. But I do. Damn damn damn damn damn…how could I have been so blind?!...

“Did you really think your death would have changed anything?!”

I am yelling now, but I can’t help it. I have kept it inside too long, and now that I have put the missing pieces together, I am even more hurt than I have been before.

“Your death wouldn’t have been able to help me, or him, or anyone else but yourself Gabrielle! How could you be so…arrogant?!”

She gasps in shock, and I can see in her face what my words are doing to her. But it doesn’t matter, not now, not anymore. I need to get it out, I need to say everything, or I will surely choke.

“At first I was thinking you were just a coward for trying to take the easy way out…then you get through all of it with me…you stand by me, promise me that we will be together no matter what…and now you just come back around the same corner again? How dare you even think something like that?!”

“My death would have been justice!”

I can’t stop myself. The self hatred in her voice rips down every last bit of restraint I had left. I am too raw right now, too open and vulnerable to be able to stop what is about to happen.

In a move so fast it startles both of us I hold her face in my hands, bending my head, my lips only inches away from hers. Her eyes are a swirl of emotions, darkness and light fighting in them, drawing me in, and I know no matter what our future might bring, this moment was meant to be, is as essential to us as the air we breathe.


That word escapes on a breath that strokes her skin, and I close the last distance as she closes her eyes, and let my lips brush hers. It feels like heaven, like eternity, like nothing I have ever felt before, and I would have gladly stayed like that for the rest of my life. But I know she needs more than that from me. It’s as if I can feel her pain almost physically through the connection I created, and it’s tearing me apart.

Too soon I end the kiss, pull my head back to be able to see her face again. Her eyes are still closed, and I can see a fresh trail of tears. And just can’t help myself.

“Wasn’t that bad, was it?” Her eyes open, and she sighs deeply.

“Xena.” Scolding tone, yes, but at least I made her smile again. I stroke her face, catching her eyes with a serious gaze.

“Gabrielle…your death…would only cause me more pain. You are everything I have left…you are the only thing that makes me get up every day since Solan died…don’t you know that?”

She is speechless by that admission, and so am I. I never thought I would ever tell her this. Now I have, and I am glad.

Being faced with the possibility of losing her again has brought down the last wall around my heart. I have forgiven her…her, if not myself. And I am intent on moving on with my life. Just like I want her to. I understand the guilt she carries better than she thinks. I have faced the wish to end my own life more times than I can count.

But I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

For here, in the middle of a battlefield, in her arms, I haven’t just found my worst weakness, but the most powerful source of strength I ever had as well.

“I love you Xena.”

I smile then, take her into my arms, pressing her against me in a mindless hug.

Nothing else matters to me anymore.


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