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Disclaimer: Xena Warrior Princess, it’s characters and all related materials are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures.
Those lucky dudes.
Character uses are for entertainment only, not to hurt any rights. As always.
Warning: We are talking about Xena here guys…so there is always the chance of something dangerous happening, in one way or the other ☺.
Anyway, this scene contains scenes of women kissing…with a little more meaning behind it than being friends, lol. So if you are under 18 years old, or this kind of story is forbidden where you live, please do not read it.
Or move… ;)
Xena’s POV: After Gabrielle’s wedding, an angry Warrior Princess makes a mistake that will cost both her and her best friend dearly.
***
The night is cold, and I move a little closer to the fire I just have built, rubbing my hands together to warm them. My stomach growls, and just now I realize that I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.
Well…I surely could have shared a meal with the others at the Inn a few hours earlier, but after the wedding I just…I needed to get out of there. I am sure Gabrielle was waiting for me to join her and her husband in their little celebration, but I couldn’t bring myself to go with them. After holding her in my arms one last time, after watching her leave with that beautiful, happy smile on her face…
“Where is that little slut of yours, anyway?!”
The voice sounds from right behind me. It’s annoying, and I am tempted to turn around and smack that damn woman unconscious.
She has been saying those kinds of things to me for the better part of the night, and it’s really grating on my nerves, making me even angrier than I was when I caught her.
When I gave Gabrielle that small kiss goodbye, I could already feel it deep inside me, slowly waking up, slowly starting to rise. The darkness. The animal that was furious at her for leaving me just like that…
“Run off, hasn’t she?”
How dare she do this?! First I am her best friend, the one that constantly is there for her, saves her ass on an almost daily basis, and in the next moment, I am nothing?!?
“Just a matter of time…”
“Shut up!” I turn to look at her, my eyes blazing with cold anger. Her smile is something between a sneer and a triumphant grin, and I growl at her before turning around again.
My mind is spinning, has been for some time now, and I don’t really know whether it is only the wine I have been drinking, and too much of it too, or the constant thought that, after all, everything turned out just like I always suspected it would.
I always knew that one day she would leave me. That one day all that violence would be too much. That one day something I do would scare her away from me.
“She wasn’t worth your time anyway…”
I know now that it has been definitely too much wine. I am actually thinking that she is right!
“I told you to shut up Callisto! Or do you want me to find a more convincing way to achieve that?!”
She laughs that crazy little laugh, and I just sigh and shake my head. Why do I bother, anyway? I have been lucky to have caught her like that, ambushing her in the middle of preparing for camp herself, and tied her up pretty good against the next tree where she is still sitting. I am tired from the days strain, and normally I would at least be able to close my eyes for a few moments with Gabrielle here to watch that maniac. But no…
“Tired sweety? Go ahead, close your eyes. I…will be watching you…”
I am a little drunk, but not so much that I wouldn’t realize the dangerous note in her voice. I turn around again, facing that gaze that has been playing around in my mind ever since we first met. I never had someone that reminded me so brutally of what I had been once. Callisto is the first real, horrible proof of how I destroyed the lives of hundreds of innocent people, and her eyes, cold, cruel, devoid of any emotions, keep haunting me in my dreams. Reminding me all too vividly of what was in my own way back when.
“What are you looking at? Thinking about killing me already?”
Her voice is a little shrill, and for a split second as I keep watching her, I actually get the feeling that she might truly be afraid of me doing just that. I give her a cold smile, and then slowly shake my head.
“I was just thinking that Gabrielle was right. You are…just a damaged soul.” Callisto spits in my direction, her face now a hard mask.
“That little scum knows nothing!” I study her more closely.
“You are saying…?” Brown eyes fall into mine, slowly sinking deeper.
“She doesn’t know how it feels to be filled with hate. Knows nothing how it feels to burn inside. Knows nothing about the desire, the hate, the pain…and loving every minute of it!” I sigh.
“And you do, huh?” Her smile is dangerous, as if she knew what I was thinking at the moment. That she was really good at describing what life has been like for me all those years…
“You gave me that, Xena. And it connects us in a way you and that kid never will be.”
I turn back towards the flames, husking a disgusted laugh. Not at her for saying what she is thinking. Not at her for bad mouthing Gabrielle in front of me. But at myself. For I know she is right…
How could she just leave?! What does that stupid little farm boy have that I don’t?! Why did she choose him instead of me?! Why wasn’t I ever brave enough to tell her what I really feel for her?...
“Don’t tell me you have fallen for that little fool?!”
For the blink of an eye I freeze. Then I turn once more, my gaze making unmistakably clear that she has definitely crossed a line with that.
“Shut up Callisto! That’s my last warning, got me?!” Brown eyes blink. Her face suddenly serious.
“You…are kidding me, right? Xena…what in Tartarus would you want with…”
It happens so fast I am a little surprised myself. One moment Callisto was ranting on, the next she is gasping for breath for I have put the pinch on her.
I stare at her.
She stares at me.
Realizing that never before she has come so close to actually dying. I can see that she knows it. Just like I can see that she would, crazily enough, be happy to have her life end right in this moment.
I look deeply into her eyes. And in my drunken blur, in the darkness that has claimed my mind ever since I left the temple, I see them lighten up, get clearer, change color…
All of a sudden everything collapses, my soul exploding with emotions held back for a much too long time. The world around me starts spinning, leaving me helpless in a storm of desire, pain and hate, and there is nothing left for me to hold on to, nothing there for me to help me out. I am falling…falling…falling…
With an angry scream I lunge at Callisto, a knife in my hand, grabbing her hair to force her head back, my shaking fingers pressing the blade into the skin of her neck, so hard I can already see a thin trail of blood. She chokes, tries desperately to breathe, and that alone gives me a rush so powerful I almost drown in the sensation. The animal inside me comes to life with a roar, so loud I can hear it echoing in my ears, and I let it, pulling Callisto against me, crushing my lips against hers.
She struggles hard, but I can still feel her answering to the darkness that flows from my body. I can feel the life pulsating in her lips and I bite them, growling in ecstasy as I taste the copper tang of her blood on my tongue. Her movements get more and more frantic, and somewhere in my suddenly lunatic mind I realize that she is about to die in my arms. It feels…intoxicating…
With another scream I let her go, releasing the pinch. She sinks to the ground, gasping for air. I watch her. And I can feel my whole body growing cold as ice.
‘Gabrielle…What she has done to me…What she has awakened…How could I possibly expect her to stay with me…knowing that one day…something like this could actually happen to her?!’
“She…will never…understand…” Her voice breaks on every word. She looks up, her eyes still glazed from what she has just been through. I watch her, feeling nothing anymore. There is just…emptiness.
“I am sorry Callisto.”
I don’t know if she really understands what I am saying, but the surprise is evident on her face as my words register. I lean forward then, my hand cutting the rope that holds her hands together.
“Leave me alone.”
I can’t stand her being there any longer. For I know she does understand, better than Gabrielle ever could. I let the knife fall to the ground, then turn away from her, settling down in front of the fire again. I can hear her slowly starting to move, then hear the remaining ropes sliding to the ground as well.
Maybe I have turned insane after all. Letting her go…what am I thinking? But it hurts too much…her being able to call awake what I truly am…no…no it hurts…Gabrielle would never decide to be with something as ugly and cruel as I am…it hurts so much…it hurts…
The blade feels cool against my skin as Callisto does what I expected her to. Crouching down behind me, one hand grabbing the back of my neck while the other holds my own weapon dangerously close to where it could end my life. And for a moment, I actually think of pressing into it.
“She never will…”
Then she forces my head to the right and kisses me again, this time the way she wants to, with her body pressing against me, her tongue demanding entrance into my mouth. Wanting to deepen the contact. But I won’t. I can’t…
It doesn’t matter anymore. I feel nothing. I am tired…
She lets go of me, and finally stands up, throwing the knife into the fire.
“You should have killed me.”
I can hear her footsteps retreating, and a few moments later, I know I am alone again. My eyes burn as I stare into the flames, my hands clasped together, so hard that I can hear the thin bones in them cracking. I close my eyes, already tasting the salt on my lips.
‘Callisto was right…I have fallen for her…’
‘What have I done…’
My eyes snap open.
What have I done?!
I gasp in shock.
I have to go after her…no…gods no…
‘”Gabrielle!”…