Disclaimer: This story is better read after Sheena's Sight. I liberally borrowed from The Wizard of Oz for this production. I'd love feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org . Check out my website at www.dillonwatson.com .
“Come on children, now is not the time to be making googly eyes at each other,” Anna Knowlton, better known as Ms. A, said to her granddaughter, Vicky and Vicky's new girlfriend, Sheena Masterson. “I told you, work now, other more pleasurable pursuits later.” She led them, along with her other granddaughter, Missy, the long way around the restaurant to a table just out of their prey's view.
Once they were seated, Sheena realized sneaking past Gar had been a waste of time. It would have taken a smack on the back of his head with a metal tray to draw his attention away from his cheating girlfriend, Jennifer. The look of vapid adoration on his face had to be unnatural. With a shudder, Sheena turned her attention to Jennifer. The other woman's overall appearance was attractive, but a closer look revealed her mouth was too wide and her eyes were too close together. And added on top of that, her smile was patently fake. Absently noting that Ms. A was ordering margaritas, Sheena wondered again what the hell Gar, who was handsome enough to have anybody, saw in Jennifer.
Sheena forgot all about the slag when Vicky placed a warm hand on her thigh. She could hear Ms. A talking, but her senses were too focused on the pleasure she was getting from Vicky's stroking hand to comprehend anything. She tensed in anticipation as the hand moved closer and closer to the juncture between her thighs.
“Sheena, are you listening to me?”
Sheena opened eyes she hadn't realized were shut and blinked owlishly at Ms. A. She was sure the word guilty was stamped in big red letters on her forehead. “Huh?” she managed to croak, fighting against the strength of the mind robbing touch.
“Vicky, remove your hand right this minute,” Ms. A ordered, fixing her granddaughter with the evil eye.
Vicky quickly complied. “I wasn't doing anything,” she mumbled, failing miserably at looking innocent.
“Trying to get your fingers wet qualifies as something,” Missy taunted, wiggling her fingers.
“Shut up, Sluterrella. You're just jealous.” Vicky stuck out her tongue.
“And your point is, Deaderella?” Missy crossed her eyes and made a face.
“Children, focus!” Ms. A nodded approvingly once she was sure she had her granddaughters' full attention. “Sheena, you're up first.”
Sheena, who'd been having an exquisite fantasy about Vicky and her tongue, jerked to attention. “Me?” she squeaked, then cleared her throat. “Why me? Why do I have to be first?”
Ms. A shook her head. “The youth of today,” she said sadly and released a long protracted sigh. “Really dear it's simple. Jennifer doesn't know you, so she won't have her shields up. While you're distracting her, we'll erase the spell on Gar.”
Shields? Spells? Holy shit! Sheena's mouth dropped open and she looked from Anna to Missy to Vicky, searching for clues they were trying to pull her chain. “Shields and spells, oh my.” Rubbing her forehead, she debated listening to the voice in her head screaming to run like hell. She'd always thought her talents were on the strange side, but this was much more. Maybe she was sitting with a group of delusional women who were trying to suck her into their cult. I've got to get out of here, she thought in a blind panic.
“You trust me, don't you?” Vicky asked softly, putting a hand on Sheena's arm. “We're not trying to fool you, I swear,” she said earnestly. There was no hint of amusement in her expression. “My brother needs help, and right now you're the only one who can save him.”
Sheena looked into those big, blue eyes, closed her eyes momentarily and told her screaming inner bitch to shut up. They had a life to save. “What do I have to do, and can I wait until our drinks gets here?”
Vicky gave her a quick kiss. “Sure, our cloak…” She stopped and gave a pained smile. “I mean, Jennifer won't notice us over here, so we have enough time for you to drink.”
Sheena couldn't stop a nervous giggle from escaping. Mom, if you're listening, and I hope you're not, you were right when you told me I needed to learn to keep my nose out of other people's business. All thoughts of her mother, and anything else, flew from her brain when Vicky resumed the mind-stealing stroking of her thigh. Sheena closed her eyes and focused on the warmth spreading from her center. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is worth fighting things that go bumps in the night.
“Victoria Jahnee Knowlton! Move your hand right now.”
The vitriolic tone in her grandmother's voice made Vicky jerk her hand away from Sheena's inner thigh as if she'd been touched with a cattle prod. “But she was getting nervous. I was just, you know, trying to like comfort her.” She once again failed at appearing innocent.
“Uh…yeah,” Sheena said, coming back to reality much sooner than she would have liked. “Comfort. I mean, this talk of spells and cloaks almost had me chanting, ‘I do believe in spooks'.”
“Alright there cowardly lion, get a grip on your tail,” Missy said, rolling her eyes. “We're not dealing with ghosts or goblins.”
“I knew that,” Sheena said loftily. “And I said I almost chanted, Missy. Come on, it's not like I run into a sitch like this every day.” She sighed in relief when the waitress appeared with their drinks. If Ms. A wasn't going to let Vicky sooth her nerves, alcohol would have to do. Swiping up a frosted mug, she downed half the contents. “Brain freeze. I should have asked for mine on the rocks.” Sheena grimaced and squeezed her temples until the pain subsided. Almost simultaneously, the alcohol hit her system with a blast. “Whoa. Strong.”
“But do you feel better?” Vicky asked, keeping her hands to herself.
Sheena nodded. “I'm ready for duty. Hey, will she be able to see me with that cloak thingy going?” she asked, motioning broadly with her hands.
“You're not cloaked because she doesn't know you,” Ms. A explained as if she was talking to a particularly dimwitted child. “You'll be fine.”
Sure I will, she thought, giving Ms. A a sickly smile. The first one up in the movies is always fine…not! “What exactly do I have to do?”
“Walk over and ask her how Nick Demon is doing. He's the guy she was banging this afternoon.”
Sheena's eyes grew wide. “You can see my visions?”
“That would be me,” Missy said, raising her hand. “I don't know about you, but my eyes are still burning.” She shuddered.
Ms. A waved, cutting her off. “We'll explain later. Time is of the essence.”
Taking another big pull on the straw, Sheena stood up and saluted. Mangling the military precision of her turn, she grabbed the table to keep from falling on her face. I guess I should have told them I'm a light weight when it comes to alcohol. Laughing uproariously, she let go of the table and tried again, this time successfully. “Damn, where did she go?” The chair next to Gar's was empty.
“She must be in the bathroom strengthening her spell. Quick, Sheena go find her, but don't stop to talk to Gar. In fact, try not to let him see you.”
With a nod for Ms. A, Sheena ducked her head, grabbed her crotch and sprinted to the bathroom with her face contorted. She spared a fleeting thought to hoping she looked like she her bladder was about to burst instead of the complete moron she felt like. With a quick pep talk to remind herself appearances didn't matter when on a mission, she pushed open the bathroom door and unwittingly nailed Jennifer in the forehead. “Oh, I'm so sorry,” she said with fake embarrassment. “Let me look at your head.” She took the dazed woman's hand and pulled her over to the sink. “Some cold water will take care of everything.” She wet a paper towel and applied it to the Jennifer's head. “Say, don't I know you?”
Jennifer blinked slowly, seemingly trying to focus. “I don't think so,” she said slowly.
“Sure I do.” Sheena put a finger to her chin and scrunched up her face. “I got it,” she said with a triumphant grin. “Your boyfriend is Nick Demon. You and he spent the whole afternoon fucking each other like wild animals. Girlfriend, I'm surprised you can walk.”
Jennifer shrugged aside Sheena's hand. “You don't know what the hell you're talking about. If you know what's best for you, you'll forget you ever said that.”
“What did I do?” Sheena was the epitome of innocence. “I am so sorry. I really thought it was you in my vision.” She laughed. “I made a simple mistake. But you sure do look like her. You wouldn't happen to have a big hairy wart on your ass, would you?”
“I said drop it!” Jennifer's voice had dropped two octaves, sounding remarkably like a compilation of every possessed person in every horror movie Sheena had ever seen.
“Okay.” She gave a nervous smile, raised her hands and backed away before Jennifer's head started spinning. “Sorry, my mistake. I'm sure that wasn't your body doing all those contortions. I mean, come on, you'd have to be with Circe de Soleil to pull off some of moves I saw. I've got to go now. I hope your head gets better soon.” Sheena backed her way toward the door.
“I can't help but wonder why you're leaving already. You haven't had time to take advantage of the facilities.” Jennifer's smile was anything but friendly.
Sheena put her hands to her face. “This is so embarrassing,” she whispered. “I peed in my Depends the moment you started using that deep voice. Now I simply must get my purse so I can freshen up.” She let her hands drop and looked at Jennifer with tears in her eyes. “It's a hereditary problem passed on from mother to daughter. Needless to say, I'm never having kids. Nobody should have to go through this.” She sniffed and artfully wiped at her cheeks.
While Jennifer was looking doubtful, Sheena slipped away. Her heart was beating so loud she was sure it could be heard across the street. After taking several deep breaths, she calmed down enough to notice Gar had switched tables and was now sitting next to Vicky. Poor Guy looked as if he'd just come out of a three day binge.
Before Sheena had a chance to think what that meant, she heard a deep growl behind her and unlike the fools in the movie she didn't look back. Dropping to her knees, she crawled under a table and started praying that Ms. A had a full proof plan to deal with one upset evil being. Sheena covered her ears when she heard the thing start screaming nasty invectives in that spooky deep voice—it didn't help. Jennifer's voice seemed to bounce off the walls and straight into her ears.
Damn, what is that? Sheena reminded the inquisitive side of her brain that it was the curious people who always died because they didn't stay under cover. Inquisitive side wasn't convinced. After all, Ms. A hadn't said anything about fighting Jennifer, only talking to her. And she had done just that, so surely she was finished with her part of the deal. One little peek wouldn't hurt.
“You all die.”
“Fuck me!” Sheena scrambled out from under the table ready to do battle. Nobody was going to kill the love of her life before she had a chance to get some nookie. “Hey bitch, what's your fucking problem!” she yelled, drawing Jennifer's attention to her and away from Vicky. “You can't get anybody unless you put a spell on them?” She almost soiled her underwear when the thing that used to be Jennifer turned around. Sheena wanted to look away from the creature, but there was something so creepily fascinating about her, almost like looking at a train wreck. “You are totally gross,” she said, unsure if she should be scared or awed. “How did you do that?”
“You,” the thing said accusingly. “You were in on it.”
“Well, duh.” Sheena rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hips. For some idiotic reason she suddenly wasn't afraid of this being that looked like the wicked witch jellified. It was hard respecting someone whose nose looked like it was about to slide off her face. “What are you going to do now?”
“Sheena?” Gar rubbed his eyes in disbelief.
She shrugged and waved. “Hey, Gar. Funny meeting you here.”
“What exactly do you think you're doing?”
“Fine question, boss. Let me get back to you when I have an answer! ”
“Excuse me, I have the floor here,” the Jennifer thing groused and stamped what might have been her foot. “What exactly do you think you're doing?”
“Gee, I don't know, Ms. Jell-O.” Sheena tapped a finger against her lips, pretended to think for a moment, then said, “Trying to save the world maybe? You know, I've had it with your attitude. Why don't you go crawl back under the rock you came from.” She crossed her arms over her chest with a smug smile.
The creature immediately swelled to two times its size, causing Sheena to quickly reevaluate her strategy. She took an involuntary step back. Maybe she didn't know what she was doing after all. But what she did know was that the skank bitch was advancing toward her. “I…I may have been a little hasty,” she said, backing away slowly. “We should talk this out, woman to former woman. Violence is such an ugly word.”
“We don't have anything to talk about. You will die.”
Sheena looked around surreptitiously, hoping to find a well placed bucket of water. Hey, it worked for Dorothy. Shit! Of course there wasn't one, and there weren't any other people in the restaurant other than them. She couldn't blame the patrons and staff for fleeing. Happy hour was supposed to be fun, not scary. She scrunched up her nose and tried for one of Jimmy Neutron's brain blasts.
“Are you ready to die, little girl?”
“Hold on.” As Sheena said a quick prayer, asking for a hookup with Vicky in after life, a possible solution hit her. Keep the witch talking and give Ms. A a chance to come up with something. It always worked for people in the movies, why shouldn't it work for her? “Yes, but before you kill me, can you explain why? Think of it as a last meal.” She rubbed her forehead, surprised at the sweat. Who knew facing down creature thingies was such sweaty work? Thank the Goddess her deodorant was still holding up.
“You stupid humans are all the same. You always want to know why. Why doesn't matter when you're dead.”
Sheena could stand a lot of things, but being called stupid wasn't one of them. She had her brothers to thank for that. Without conscious thought, she took a step forward. “Stupid? Who are you calling stupid? You don't see me walking around here jiggling like a bowl full of Jell-O.”
“Sheena, stand down!” Ms. A commanded. “You don't know what you're messing with.”
The thing formerly known as Jennifer, smiled. At least it resembled a smile. “You should listen to her, little girl.”
“Little girl?” Sheena took another step forward, then another. “Is that the best you can do, jelly witch? You obviously need a vocabulary adjustment. Now begone before a house drops down on you.” She made a dismissive motion with her hand.
“Honey, could you come here a minute?” Vicky asked sweetly. “I need to tell you something.” She flinched when she drew the thing's attention. “Granna, now would be a good time to do something,” she whispered out the side of her mouth.
“Honey? Oh, this is rich.” The thing's deep laughter reverberated around the room. “Shall we see what the rude little girl does when I go after her honey?” She moved in Vicky's direction with a feral expression on her face.
“And just where do you think you're going?” Sheena grabbed the creature's arm, then quickly let it go. “Damn, this is gross! What is that substance?” She rubbed her fingers together and was surprised to find them clean and dry. “Hey, you're like a synthetic gelatin mound.” She pressed her finger against the thing's side and watched in horrified fascination as her finger seemed to get absorbed. Although the thing appeared to be transparent, Sheena's finger wasn't visible. “Totally gross, but still…” She pulled out her finger and checked to make sure it was still attached before putting her whole hand into the creature's side. “This is kind of cool in a totally disgusting way. By the Goddess, I think I could get my whole arm in.”
“Will you stop?” The thing's voice wasn't nearly as terrifying as she pulled away. She tried to puff herself up to no avail. In fact, she seemed to shrink a little bit.
“That would be no.” Sheena grinned. “Hey guys, you've got to try this out. It's like… Hell, I don't know what it's like, but it's fun. And even better, the poor little Jennifer creature doesn't seem to like it.”
The creature removed Sheena's arm from her side. “You will leave me alone,” she commanded, backing away. “I forbid you to touch me.”
“Oh, that's rich,” Sheena said, perfectly imitating the thing's voice. “You don't tell me what to do, old lady. I…will…touch…you…when…I…want.” She punctuated each word with a poke.
“No,” the creature cried as she shrank with each touch. “This can't be. What have you done to me?” She glared at Sheena and backed away until she bumped into a wall. At impact her body convulsed, then continuously morphed between gelatin and human form, growing smaller with each change. With a final wail, she was no more.
“Alrighty then.” Dusting off her hands, Sheena turned to her stunned companions. “Piece of cake.”
Vicky finally got over the paralysis that had kept her glued to one spot. She ran to Sheena and pulled her into a bone popping hug. “Don't ever do that again,” she said before covering Sheena's face with kisses. “I was scared to death.”
“Sorry,” Sheena said, sounding anything but. “It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Forgive me?” She batted her lashes and gave Vicky the poor-little-me look that had always worked on her mother.
Vicky smiled. “I'll think about it.”
Sheena gave her a fleeting kiss on her lips. “Surely there's something I can do to make it up.” She followed up with a more insistent kiss that left her breathless and wanting.
“I'm thinking that may work.” Vicky took a deep breath. “Maybe we could try that again, just to be sure.”
“Whatever you say.” She threaded her fingers through Vicky's hair and brought their lips together. The kiss quickly got out of control and they strained against each other, their audience forgotten.
“Ahem,” Ms. A said loudly. “You two rabbits are not alone. Have some decorum, children.”
Sheena reluctantly broke off the kiss and rested her head against Vicky's heaving chest. “Can't you do some kind of magic trick and take us to your bed?”
“I wish,” Vicky said, breathing heavily. “All I can do is talk to the animals.”
That brought Sheena's head up. With eyes as big as saucers, she looked into Vicky's baby blues. “Like…Dr. Doolittle?” Her tone was close to reverent.
Vicky nodded and shrugged. “My family's genes are a haven for weirdness.”
“Have I mentioned that I like weirdness?” Sheena stroked Vicky's face. “On you I like it a whole lot.” She shivered when Vicky kissed her palm. “A whole, whole lot.”
“Break it up,” Missy said. “If you don't have enough kisses to share, you shouldn't be kissing.”
“Yes, we have bigger issues to deal with,” Ms. A said.
Sheena and Vicky turned their heads in unison, wearing equal expressions of annoyance. “What now?”
“The pack of flying monkeys say they want a word with Sheena,” Gar said and motioned over his left shoulder.
“By…the…Goddess.” Sheena closed her eyes and frantically clicked her heels. But when she opened her eyes, nothing had changed. She sighed. “I don't suppose we could order Jell-O shooters first?”