By: Dreams

Disclaimers: Nope, sorry, can't say there are any. All of the characters are mine. I take full responsibility for all of their actions. Hmm ... On second thought ... I've never seen them before in my life. They just followed me home one day ... really ...

Violence/Sex: No violence, I don't think. I guess that would depend on what you mean by "violence" ... I don't think there is any. You can decide for yourself. And sex? Umm ... I'll go on the safe side and say there will be. But don't go suing me for false advertisement if you can't find any. It really depends on what you mean by sex. As there are people in some cultures that show their affection by licking each other's eyeballs, it is possible that my definition of sex may be different than yours. Mine may involve cows in ballet slippers for instance ... wait, that doesn't sound right ...

Warning: This story involves an in-the closet actress, online relationships, Puerto Ricans, the Spanish language, Starbucks coffee, angels, boyfriends, sexual relationships between women .. and a ton of other random things that poured forth from my artistic loins. If none of the above things interest you, then you may not want to partake in this little tour of my demented psyche.

Dedication: to you and you and you you and you .. to people living with living with ... ::notices there are people watching:: Ahem. Sorry. Too much "RENT" for me. Strike that. There can never be too much RENT. Unless it's the kind you have to pay. But my point.. and I do have one .. is that this story is dedicated to you. Thank you for taking the time to delve into my madness. What a brave soul you are .. muahahaha <coughcough>

Special Thanks: To Amber, Cindy, Camilla, Christy, Amy, and Robin. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Write me: Cause I'd love to know what you think. I may be reached at


"It makes you feel closer to God?" Adrian asked sardonically, unable to keep quiet any longer. "What was that all about?"

Julianne stared out the window of the limousine, watching New York City pass by in a flash of pretty bright lights. "Was it really that bad?"

"No," Adrian allowed. "I’m sure Dr. Laura just added you to her list of famous people to contact in case of emergency."

Julianne sighed, feeling depressed all of a sudden.

"But I’m glad that I'm the greatest man you've ever met," he commented proudly.

Julianne glanced at him. "Don't let it go to your head," she told him. "Your competition isn't very impressive."

"I'll take what I can get," Adrian said with a smile. "I think your image as a God-fearing heterosexual was established quite well. You should be proud."

"Proud of what?" Julianne wondered. "That my acting abilities stand even without a script? It's all an act. My life, my image. Sometimes I get so wound up in all the lies I don't know what the truth is anymore."

Adrian touched her leg. "At least you have me to remind you," he said.

This brought a smile to her face. "My one and only salvation."

"I think pretending to be your boyfriend will be good for my career," he said teasingly. "What do you think?"

"I think you're a wonderful screenwriter and director," she replied honestly. "And if you'd let me, I'd produce your films in an instance."

Adrian shrugged. "That's cheating, my dear," he replied.

"That's Hollywood, my darling. It's all about who you know. Talent comes later."

The limo rolled to a stop in front of the Plaza. "Time to evade the masses," Julianne said with a sigh, noticing the crowd already gathered. "How do they always know where I'm going to be?"

"Magic," Adrian replied.

Hidden away in the safety of the penthouse she was sharing with Adrian, Julianne found herself out on the balcony. Enjoying the cool breath of spring on her hair and the view of Central Park below.

"You're going to catch your death out here," Adrian said, shivering beside her. "Come back inside."


"Something you want to talk about?"

"Adrian, tell me something. If all the world's a stage, how come I feel like I'm the only one performing?" Julianne wondered.

Adrian considered the questions for a moment, then shrugged. "Because you're self-centered and egotistical."

Julianne laughed, then sobered. "Do you really think so?"

"No. But I think you've done a marvelous job of convincing everyone that you are. Yourself included."

"A God-fearing, heterosexual, self-centered and egotistical bitch." Julianne mulled this over. "It's a good image to have."

"Even if it's the complete opposite of what you are?" Adrian asked seriously.

"It's safer that way," Julianne replied.

"Safer for whom?"


Adrian kissed her cheek. "I'm going to bed."

"Sleep well," she told him, her gaze fixed on the view beyond the balcony railing.

"Night," Adrian called.

Julianne remained outside for a while, pondering over her life's meaning. She chuckled bitterly. What meaning, she thought sadly. For an instance, she contemplated jumping. She wondered briefly what the headlines would say. "The Angel Takes Flight, Landing Proves Fatal." They'd have a ball with the whole angel concept, no doubt.

Stepping away from the railing, she walked back into the room, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. She lay down on the couch, closing her eyes, knowing that in spite of her exhaustion, sleep would never come.


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