Too Scared to Fall

By Kerry McNair

Go to Part 1

Before Cassidy could even question what she was doing, she leaned forward and gently kissed the plump glistening lips in front of her. As soon as Jenn had uttered the words I trust you, Cassidy felt her heart stutter and she couldn't speak. Taking the bottom lip in her mouth she bit down lightly loving the moan that came from deep within Jenn. Taking a deep breathe she moved back with her eyes closed, trying to centre herself before she looked into Jenn's eyes again. Not that that helped as soon as she opened them she saw soft eyes looking at her with an inquisitive eyebrow quirked upwards. Laughing to herself she swiftly stood taking Jenn in her arms as she did. Once both of them had their feet on the ground, she moved them over to one of the side areas where the x-frame had been set up, and it would seem that Freya was once again being tied into it by Mel. Bringing them both to a stop just to the front of the frame, she got Mel's attention and asked if they could stand a bit closer than usual so that Jenn could get a better understanding of the situation. Mel looked Jenn up and down, and then she caught the slightly feral look on Cassidy's face when she caught her eye. Interesting she thought. Looks like this one isn't for sharing, though to be honest she wouldn't have tried very hard. As much as she liked variety, Freya was becoming more important to her and she might just be ready to settle for one girl. Nodding to Cassidy to let her know it was fine. Mel turned her attention back to the naked Freya who was waiting patiently.

Cassidy put her hand in the back pocket of Jenn's jeans and held on to what was quite frankly the sexiest arse she had the pleasure to hold onto in a long time. Christ what will it be like naked! Trying to control the thread of pleasure that rippled through her she shook her head to clear it. Squeezing the arse she smirked as she got Jenn's attention.

“Ok little one I want you to focus on Freya who is in the frame. Mel is taking her time letting her stand there exposed to everyone, not knowing when or what she will be smacked with. Now when you first do this, it can make you lose it slightly or a lot. Your body might shake and you also could lose track of your breathing and that in turn could make you faint from the anticipation. Look at Freya and tell me what you see or hear?”

Jenn focused all her attention on Freya, looked her all over, after a couple of minutes she turned to Cassidy.

“Permission to speak Mistress?”

Cassidy pulled her in close and nodded.

“I see hardly any movement and her breathing is slow and steady, it is almost as if she is meditating. I don't think I have ever seen someone so at peace with herself and a situation. She is where she wants to be, waiting for her goal.”

Cassidy eyes opened wide. Bloody hell she was good, schooling her features into neutral she glanced down at Jenn, who was looking up at her with something close to fear on her face. This startled Cassidy, who pulled them both over towards the corner where they could see the front of Freya. Softly she put her finger under Jenn's chin and tipped it upwards so they were looking at each other again. Using her other hand she tried to smooth out the lines on her forehead.

“Listen to me and listen carefully Jenn. There are no wrong or right answers only what your eyes see, your heart feels and your head knows. I don't want you to be ever scared of talking to me. Even if sometimes it might not be what I want to hear, I will always communicate that back to you. I will never intentionally hurt you. Any pain you receive will be because we both want to. Do you understand?”

Cassidy continued to rub gently on Jenn's head while she waited for an answer. When she got a nod and a quiet yes she smiled deeply and dipped her head to whisper in her ear.

“The answer you gave to my question shows a quick learner and a quick learner makes me happy and very hot!. She ended by biting down on her ear and letting her tongue wander freely as she held her close, loving every tremble that passed through her. Sweet Jesus she murmured, I just think you might be the death of me little one.

They both jumped when they heard a loud smack land on skin and the words “Thank you Mistress” leaving Freya's mouth.

Having watched the scene in front of her so many times, Cassidy had no need to watch it now; she preferred to watch Jenn as she watched it. Standing in front of the red faced Jenn, she grinned as Jenn struggled not to push her to one side to continue watching the scene unfolding in front of her. Waiting until Jenn was settled she easily and quickly lifted her up and encouraged her to wrap her legs around her middle, she then stepped forward so Jenn was trapped between her and the wall. Moving her head back she was pleased to see that Jenn kept her eyes on her and only her.

“Oh you are good little one, very good. You watch everything that is going on behind us. All I need to do is watch and feel you.”

Jenn's face was like watching an entire film of emotions. Too begin with every smack gained a flinch and shirt grabbing. As the scene progressed the eyes that Cassidy was slowly falling for, became a deeper green and if at all possible more soft and sleepy. The shirt grabbing stopped and her hands caressed Cass's back, rolling over her tense muscles. And as for Jenn's thighs and centre, well they were clenching and rubbing over her sides and stomach. Any control that Cassidy thought she had over the situation was rapidly fading with every thrust that Jenn was doing in time with the sound of every smack on Freya's arse. Just when she thought both of them would lose control she faintly heard Mel say, now Freya. With one last hard smack Freya screamed out in orgasm. That was all it took for Cassidy to drop Jenn's legs and practically drag her across the club to the door.

Seeing the stricken look on Jenn's face, she held onto it with both her hands. “It's ok baby, everything is fine. I just think you have had enough for one evening. I know I am asking a lot from you, especially as the club is closed next week. But yet again, I don't want you to come until I see you next. Self-control is important to me, to us. Do you think you can do this?”

Jenn was gaining back her focus and looked up and clearly into Cassidy's eyes.

“Yes Mistress”

Cassidy tried hard to keep the smile off her face, only partially succeeding.

“Good, now are you able to let me know your phone number, in case I have any other instructions for you over the next two weeks. She dialled the number into her phone and then rang it so that Jenn now had her number to save.

“Do you want me to get Rory or will I get you a taxi?” Cassidy asked.


Jenn hesitated looked back into the club and smiled. “I think I should let him have his fun, though he won't tell me what it is the spoilsport” she laughed and Cassidy's heart jumped.

Shaking her head she laughed back. Gently smacking Jenn on the arse she moved her towards the door. “Well you won't get it out of me either little bit” She laughed even harder as she heard Jenn mutter “Well it was worth a try”

After getting Jenn into the taxi she watched till it turned the corner, then hearing a snort behind her she turned with an eyebrow raised.

Seeing Freya she smiled and then the smile got bigger as she saw Mel waiting patiently at her car.

“You getting your happy ending Freya?” she whispered as she got closer to her best friend.

Freya blushed and sighed. “Maybe, just maybe Cassidy. I hope I don't fuck it up! I think the one you put in the taxi is a keeper by the way, just what you need.”

Now it was Cassidy's turn to blush. Repeating Freya's words back to her “maybe, just maybe. Now go, you don't want to keep Mel waiting. Enjoy and ring me tomorrow.”

Shaking her head as she watched Freya almost skip over to Mel, she pulled her phone out, leaned against the club's wall and texted Jenn. I hope you realise how hot you made me tonight, be strong my little bit.


Jenn blew out a big sigh and pushed back her hair. It had been a long week and though she usually didn't come into work on the weekends one of the perks of owning the business. Two members off staff had rang in sick so she had no option but to help out. To be honest she was secretly glad as she had been going insane and work might hopefully take her mind of Cassidy and the fact her body was in a constant heightened state of arousal. Pushing herself off the counter she went for a wander around the store.


Cassidy wandered into the shop with her brother and nephew. Looking around she raised an eyebrow at her brother. “OK Noah do you have any idea what we need to be looking for as I am at a loss.” Noah looked equally bewildered. “I have no idea why he suddenly wants a skateboard, though it may have something to do with his new best friend Joe”

Cassidy rolled her eyes but laughed as Patrick ran around with his hands held up to his face as if to contain his excitement. “Who am I to say no to that reaction.” Looking around for someone to help them with everything, her eyes caught the back of a woman who looked really familiar. “No, it couldn't be, surely Jenn wouldn't be in a skate shop” Just then Patrick literally ran into the woman who steadied the boy and laughed at his attempt to say sorry. Cassidy moved a bit closer but tried to stay hidden behind some racking. Patrick shouted for his dad. “Dad dad look its miss Connelly its Joe's mum you know Joe who has the best skateboard in the whole world. Where's Auntie C?”

Noah smiled at what now Cassidy could see was Jenn. Oh my god its her and she has a son. Shit shit, how do I get out of this one. Looking around for an escape, she turned and made eye contact with Jenn. Bollocks she muttered. Not caring how stupid or rude she looked Cassidy Shouted out to her brother. “Noah I got to go, something just came up, get whatever Patrick wants and I will settle up later with you.” With that Cassidy ran from the shop leaving three very confused people in her wake.

Noah looking embarrased shrugged at Jenn. “Sorry about my sister Miss Connelly, she is usually a lot calmer than that.But you heard her Patrick gets what he wants for his birthday and you apparently know what that is”

Jenn was rooted to the spot watching the now empty space that had held Cassidy she could hear that Noah was chatting to her and she shook her head. “Please call me Jenn and lets see what we can do with this little terror then”


Cassidy hit redial again on Freya's number for the fourth time “Come on Freya it's 11 o'clock on a Saturday morning what on earth could you be doing.” Just as she thought it would go to answerphone again it was answered. “Hi Cassidy its Mel, sorry but Freya is a bit tied up at the moment, can I help in any way? As you seem determined to get hold of her?”

Cassidy groaned into the phone. “No never mind I will get hold of her later if you have finished with her that is? Just let her know that I rang, thanks Mel.” Ending the call Cassidy made her way back home. It's not too early to have a drink is it she asked herself.

It was after 5 that evening when Freya got back to her. On hearing the slight slur to Cassidy's words Freya made it quickly across town to see what was freaking her out so much.

Letting herself into the apartment she shut the door and looked at her best friend sat on the floor looking out the window.

“Freya why am I single and why do I never go with the same women twice? Not waiting on an answer she continued. “We know those answers so why did I go against all my rules and spend two nights with her and planned to spend another one with her?”

Freya slid down the window and looked at Cassidy. “You are single because you are stubborn and have given up on love and anything good because of your shit for brains ex-girlfriend. God! That woman really did a number on you. I thought you were getting over her and what on earth did Jenn do that has driven you to drink; I thought you weren't seeing her until next weekend”

“She has a kid Freya a boy who apparently is Patrick's best friend. How could she not have told me that, you know that's pretty important information?”

Freya shook her head and pushed herself to her feet and grabbed Cassidy's phone as she passed. Ignoring the insults from the floor she looked at the amount of texts from Jenn. “So, not replying to any of these then. God Cassidy she has no idea what's wrong, she is sorry if she didn't do something that you told her to do. You have one very confused woman here. Before Cassidy could say anything in her defence, Freya continued. “In all seriousness though you have spent two nights with her and from what I could see not a lot of general chat happened, so when was she meant to have told you and did you ask her if she had kids?” Cassidy banged her head against the window.

“But a kid how do I deal with that, last time it got really fucked up. It hurt.

Freya got hold of Cassidy and pulled her to her feet and dragged her over to the sofa. Pushing her down. “I know it hurt and if I ever see that bitch around here again I will make sure she knows how much it hurt. But this is Jenn, who has no idea why she had made you angry. You like her no matter how much you tell yourself that you don't do that anymore. I think Jenn could be good for you. She makes you feel and that is good. So stop freaking out and answer her texts. Time to be a grown up about this, and she must be a good person if Patrick is best friends with her boy. He has good taste you know, he loves me”

That brought a smile to Cassidy's face, as it was true he did love Freya always had. So he did have good taste.

“How do I explain to someone that I'm an idiot when I haven't even seen them outside of the club?”

Freya rolled her eyes yet again. “You say you are sorry and can you meet up to explain why you acted like an idiot.


Rory asks Jenn if she really has to go to the club again.

“Come on Jenn all this is doing is hurting you more, Cassidy has moved on. I have no fucking idea why, no matter how hard I try to figure it out. No one will open their mouth to say anything and it's been two months. I mean not to be crude or anything but you hadn't even slept together and you are acting like your heart is broken! What was so special?”

Jenn, who was becoming exceedingly frustrated with the whole thing, was ready to hit something or someone.

“Rory every single fucking thing about her is special, she has invaded my every waking thought. I need to know why I was pushed out into cold. It's like I don't even exist. Last week she walked past me and I have never felt so invisible. I have to keep going back until one of us breaks and I hope to god it's soon.

Rory sighed and grabbed their coats and pushed Jenn out the door. “ I hope to god its soon as I can't enjoy anything or anyone at the club as I have you moping around in one corner and Cassidy trying to prove a point by having ago with nearly every fresh piece of meat through the door.”

Sitting at the bar nursing another whiskey Jenn felt not too far from becoming quite drunk. It's an odd night in the club as it's a charity night and they have karaoke on which is making for a lighter atmosphere within the club. Rory has been bugging here to sing something as she has a really good voice and after listening to yet another person murder an Adele song she finds herself reaching to look at the song catalogue. She quickly turns the pages to see if the song that she hears nearly over day on the radio is in there. The song that breaks her heart, it is there and as she writes it down on a slip of paper her eyes moves across the club and she sees Cassidy holding onto yet another girl, holding her tight and whispering into here ear. She can see the girls eyelids flutter before they slam shut with a look of ecstasy on her face. “Fuck it” she said out loud, causing the barmaid to look at her. “Well Jenn are you actually growing a backbone and going after what is rightfully yours” laughing at the shocked look on Jenn's face. “Come on sweetie, we all know that you and Cassidy are meant to be together, but you both seem to be as thick headed as each other about what I have no idea so don't ask. Just do us all a favour and get her attention back on you as with Cassidy on the prowl like she is, we don't get a look in. Also have not noticed how no one else has come onto you? That's because Cassidy has told all of the clubs doms that you are out of bounds. So please kick some ass and then we can get back to normal.” Pushing another whiskey across the bar “on the house sweetie” Jenn grinned and took the whiskey like she would a shot. Walking a little unsteadily to the karaoke area she tried to get eye contact with Cassidy who yet again was looking straight through her.

Cassidy couldn't help but watch Jenn at the bar, it seemed tonight was a get totally sodding drunk night. Some nights she didn't touch a drop others she partakes a little too much. All of a sudden she notices a change in her body language, she sits up straighter and that bloody Kelly behind the bar seemed to be giving her a speech or some type of pep talk. She downs another shot of what she presumes is whiskey, get up and tries to walk as if she is sober. Cass inwardly smiles at how cute she looks attempting this, but she quickly gets herself under control when she realizes Jenn is scanning the club to locate her, steeling herself for when those soft sleepy green eyes eventually find her. She pulls every ounce of willpower to look right through her, she then leans down and nips at that nights conquest's neck, following Jenn's progress through lowered eyelids. Seeing Jenn stumble a bit, Cass bites her lip and squeezes her eyes shut. Dam it how long will she keep coming to the club; I'm not sure how much longer I can contain myself. Looking up again, her heart sinks even further as she sees that Jenn is up next to sing. Raising her eyes to heaven “really if it's not hard enough she's going to sing and I bet she can fucking sing as well”. She jumped as Rory walked past and muttered to her. “Yep she can sing, you're in for a treat if you can spare a few minutes out of your time from ignoring her”.

“What the fuck, has everyone grown a back bone tonight”

Turning back to the small stage as Jenn begins to sing. The words filtering across the club as if Cassidy is the only one who could hear them.

“Someone said you got a new friend, does she love you better that I can”

Cassidy swallowed heavily and for the first time in two months makes actual eye contact with the woman who had commandeered her heart from the first moment. The words continued.

“I'm in the corner watching you kiss her, I'm right over here why can't you see me. I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home I keep dancing on my own”

Cassidy no longer able to contain her emotions pushes the girl in front of her to one side without a second thought to the startled oh coming from the girl's lips. Pushing her way towards the stage she jumps up and takes the microphone from Jenn's hands and throws it in the direction of the DJ and grabs hold of Jenn's upper arm and pulls her through the club to her usual room and then pushes her into it. Looking back into the club she realises everyone is watching her and that you can probably hear a pin drop. Shaking her head she stalks into the room and slams the door behind her, leaving two very frustrated and angry women staring at each other.

Cassidy broke first as she always knew she would if Jenn persisted in coming here.

“What the fuck was that Jenn, what were you thinking? Is two months of the silent treatment not enough of a hint? Do you even know what you're doing; you're drunk you can't even walk in a straight line! She pauses to take a breather and notices Jenn rubbing the arm she had pulled her through the club with. Taking an even deeper breathe Cassidy tries to gather her emotions. Risking a look back at Jenn, all her resolve goes out the window as she takes in the tears and heart break in front of her.

“Shit Jenn you have no idea do you, I'm sorry I didn't mean to grab you so hard and hurt you” Cassidy moved slightly towards her as she spoke.

Jenn with tears falling down blushed cheeks manages to stutter out a few words.

“Don't worry about my arm that will fade, but what about the hurt to my heart to my soul Cassidy?” Jenn then collapsed within herself and began to lower to the floor.

Cassidy no longer felt pinned to the spot and rushed to catch Jenn before she hit the floor, holding her tight within her arms she moved them to the armchair and sitting down she pulls Jenn into her lap, letting her cry. So much bloody pain she thought and it all boils down to my fucking ex. Now, knowing that she actually couldn't live without feeling Jenn's arms around her every day. She always knew some woman would walk into her world and cause this chaos; it seemed Jenn was the one.


As the tears and shaking begin to subside, she gently kisses the top of Jenn's head, inhaling the scent that was uniquely her. Letting it flow all around her Cassidy feels herself ground. Time to fight the demons head on; she couldn't hide from herself or Jenn anymore. Moving Jenn away slightly so she could see her face, her heart broke even more when she saw the pain only she had put there and it seemed she was the only one to take it away. If Jenn's eyes before could call to her core, they were doing even more so now. She moved her hair of her forehead and placed a gentle kiss, seeing a hint of hope seep into Jenn, Cassidy finally managed to string together a few words. “I guess I owe you an explanation and an apology”

At the rushed sentence Jenn raises an eyebrow and smirks. “That would be a good place to start Cassidy so don't let me stop you because I am more than ready to hear why you have acted like such a fuckwit and hurt both of us and you know what it had better be a bloody good explanation. As I have been in hell and you…. Jenn had to stand up as she was beginning to shake with anger, with her hands linked behind her head. “You have flaunted... As Cassidy tried to talk, Jenn shouted “No Cassidy you sit there and you shut up! As I started you have flaunted in my face, how many women? Can you even remember how many?” waiting for a reaction from Cassidy which came with a grimace and a slight shake of her head. Jenn snorted out a humourless laugh. “No! Well I can tell you, sixteen Cassidy sixteen women who you have touched, paid attention to. While looking right through me”

Cassidy grimaced, had it really been that many, she couldn't even place a face just using them to numb the pain.

Cassidy slowly stood and faltered as Jenn took a step back. Had she finally gone too far and there was no comeback with this wonderful woman in front of her.

“Jenn, I have a lot to say to you and I don't even think that how much I apology that it will take away the hurt I have caused, but please will you come home with me so I can tell you a story of my past, just let me know if I even have a chance.


To be continued in Part 3.


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