Authors Note: Hey readers, this is the last chapter of this story! It's unbelievably short, and I did plan on making it longer, but when you read my note at the end, you won't be so angry at me. The lyrics from this chapter are I Don't Believe You by P!nk. If you want to send me some feedback, my email is email@example.com
Disclaimer: See Part 1
Enjoy the show! Or so to speak.
It's like, the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And everynight, the passions there
So it's gotta be right, right?
I could do nothing but hold her in my arms while she cried. My body still thrummed from the earth shattering orgasm I had just experienced and every nerve in my body was tingling. I stroked her hair, whispering soft words into her ear while gently nuzzling her cheek with my nose. I breathed in deeply, inhaling her scent and sighed quietly. How had I never noticed how wonderful this woman in my arms smelt? She smells like sunshine and the first day of spring mixed with her own erotic scent that makes the tiny hairs on my skin stand on end.
I listened as her sobs became quieter until they eventually stopped, leaving her breathing heavily on my chest, her hands gripping my shoulders. I've never been good with words and I don't know what to say to her right now. I don't know how she's feeling, what's she thinking or what's going to happen next and it scares me. So I just hold her and wait.
It's only a few moment until I feel her start to pull away from me and I let her, moving my head so I can look up into her watery emerald eyes. She looks down at me and I can see the confusion displayed on her beautiful face and a deep sadness. My heart aches to know that I caused her this pain she has. I want to scream out how sorry I am but my voice has abandoned me and I can feel tears well up in my eyes from how helpless I feel.
"Xena," She whispers, her voice cracking.
She frowns, pulling further away from me until she's straddling my hips, her hands on my chest. Her brow furrows and she looks up at the ceiling and I know she's thinking so I stay quiet, watching her and waiting.
"I..." She starts, before sighing and shaking her head. "I can't."
I feel the first tear leak from the corner of my eye and slip down the side of my face and into my hair. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath before nodding. I didn't expect for her to trust me ever again, let alone want to continue spending her life with me, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
"I understand, Gabrielle," I say softly, gently squeezing her hips. "I know this doesn't change anything."
"No, it doesn't," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "But God, I wish it did."
I open my eyes to find her looking down at me and my heart starts beating faster. For the first time since she entered my bedroom, I can see the love she still has for me shining in her eyes. Once more, I want to tell her how sorry I am. I want to beg and plead for her to stay, but it wouldn't be fair on her. I hurt her a thousand times, and she deserves to be happy. Even if her being happy means I have to be miserable.
"Me too," I reply, smiling sadly.
"I'm always going to love you," She sobs, and I can feel her blunt fingernails digging into the skin on my chest. "You've ruined me, Xena. You came into my life on your big golden horse and you saved me. And then you destroyed me. Every single day, I fell more and more in love with you until my heart felt like it would explode because it was so filled with everything you are. But I was never enough."
"You were always enough, Gabrielle," I said fiercly, sitting up until we were eye to eye. "You have always been enough for me."
"But I haven't. I know you love me, Xena, and the Gods know that I love you. And maybe we are supposed to be together, maybe not. And this house is beautiful, and I know you're trying to change, trying to settle down and start a life for you and Eve. I so badly want to be a part of that life with you. I want to marry you, raise Evie with you and spend my life by your side until we are old and grey, but you can't promise me any of those things. You can't promise me that a few years from now, you won't get bored and want to live on the road again. You can't promise me that you will want only me, forever. And I need a promise, Xena. I can't go on living not knowing if someone better than me will walk into our lives tomorrow. I just can't."
She's crying again now and so I am, but for once, I don't care. The broken pieces of my heart have been crushed to a fine dust and my stomach is twisted into knots. I feel sick and I can't breathe and I wonder for a moment if I'm going to throw up, but then the feeling passes, leaving me empty.
I look into her eyes, trying to find something, anything to help me hold onto to the hope that has gotten me through the past few moons, but all I see is the end.
The end of us.
She leans in and lightly brushes her lips against mine, so light that I can hardly feel it, and I close my eyes, savouring the taste of her. It's amazing that after all these years, the softest touch from her can still send me to Elysia. I feel her pull away from me, her fingertips grazing my cheek and when I open my eyes, she's gone.
She's left me again, taking my heart with her once more and I want to scream. I want to be angry that she came back and made me feel complete again, only to take it away forever. But I can't be angry at her, I can only be grateful that I got to hold her, touch her and taste her one more time. I burn the memories of the last few candlemarks into my mind, knowing that everytime I close my eyes they will replay on the backs on my eyelids.
And despite everything that has been said tonight between the two of us, I can't forget the look in her eyes as she made love to me. The complete and utter love she holds for me, still. And that damn spark of hope turns to flames in my chest.
I will see her again, despite everything. We are soulmates and she is a part of me, and I am her. I will prove her and the world wrong and I will change.
I will be the woman she deserves, even if she doesn't want me. I will be, I promise.
I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all
It's like, one of those bad dreams where you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up, you've had enough
But I want more, no, I won't stop
Cause I just know, you'll come around, right?
No, I don't believe you when you say don't around here no more
I won't remind you, you said we wouldn't be apart
No, I don't believe you when you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to not love me at all
Authors note: Hey! I never said it would be a happy ending, did I? But there will be a sequel to this story, though it might take a week or so to be posted. The more emails/comments I get, the quicker the story will be posted, so start sending them! Stay tuned, guys.
Return to the Academy