Gabrielle's Journal Series:  Sisters

by Murphy

Disclaimer:  Number six in the journal series. Fluff alert. It is Alt. I do not own them. Thank you to my beta team: Becky Lovall, Sam Ruskin, and LJ Maas. Deb! Love Ya! Ex-Guards! You are the best! Thank you all for your support! This is to all the abused kids, me being one of them. Special thanks to Lucy Lawless for giving kids a voice. Poem by Pauline Hamblin

Journal Entry:



There is a love down in my soul.
Where faith and trust I do hold.
Love that will stand forever more.
That's what sisters were made for.

Together we've been through a lot.
Caring not what others thought.
We stood tall and held our ground.
Foundation from our mother kept us sound.

Now we've grown up and I've left the nest.
The love we share is still the best.
My sisters I do love you true
My thoughts often travel back to you


Hello. Well I sort of had a surprise today. Xena and I were close to leaving Amphipolis when we, much to my shock, got a visitor, Lila. My first thought when I saw her was that something happened to our parents, or her. I was just scared.

After Xena, Cyrene, and I calmed her down, she told me that she and father got into a terrible fight. He slapped her and she ran away planning never to return.  What a mess.  She wants to follow Xena and I, take our path. I know right off that life is not for her. She wants the house, husband, and kids. First night on the cold ground and she would run screaming back to Potidaea.

Then I think of my father. I know not all fathers are like him, I have seen that to be true. He is just a miserable man. He hates his life, is mad at the world, and is not happy with his wife giving him only girls. Dear old dad and I went around and around many times. I got my share of beatings by his hand, just because I dared to dream. I did not settle for what I was told, and I questioned, a big no-no to him.

Lila was different from me; she was Daddy's girl. She did what she was told, following my mother, repeating the cycle. I knew right off that I would have been dead already if I hadn’t followed Xena. She was the air I needed to survive; she saved me just as I did her. I know we need to take her back, I sent a messenger to mother to let her know she is safe and we will be home in a couple of days.

When I was young, I was always stronger then Lila. I took the blame for everything to save Lila; it was my job. I am the older sister. After he would finish punishing me, I sat in my room and cried, hurt, and wondering why. Why doesn't my father love me? I even dreamed; prayed that I could be the son he so desperately wanted. Maybe then, I would be noticed by him, even loved.

Then my thoughts went to my mother. At first, I was angry she turned and chose to take a blind eye to it all. Letting him just make us feel useless. When I got older, I realized that she was taught that just like her mother before her. Mom never thought too much of herself, she still doesn't. I decided young that I was going to break this. My daughter will be strong, loved and encouraged. Dreaming will be necessary and she will never be told, she cannot do something simply because she is a girl.

The only real fun times we had in the house were when father was out working on the farm and my true mother would come out. I get my mind and my sense of adventure from her, story telling also. Then father would come in and it would all end. She would turn back into the good wife and Lila would be the good little girl. I of course would stick my tongue out at him as much as I could. Without him knowing, hey I am brave, but not that much.

When we take Lila back, it will only be if he never touches her. Xena and I agreed on that. The next day I had time alone with my little sister. She told me her dreams; yes, it involved a husband and kids. Plus, we had an interesting talk about sex. Well more like, she wanted to know. It was the most embarrassing thing; I was red the whole time. The questions, does it hurt? That was the first one and they got worse after that. So, how do you and Xena do it ? That nearly made me spit my tea across the room. Then she asked how Centaurs had sex, and with that one, I had to pick my eyeballs off the floor. Gods!!

Our parents, well our mom, never told us about sex. I learned by reading and tried to explain it to my little sister. Now she thinks I am a woman of the world. After breathing deeply, I was honest with her about everything, only to get a disbelieving, NOOOOO? You’re kidding.

Xena joined us soon after and asked me what was wrong, I was so red. I told her and all of the sudden she had to take care of Argo. Chicken! Lila and I had a wonderful time; I really miss my sister. She wasn’t happy about going home, but even she said it was for the best. I told her that if father ever hits her again, to head to the Amazons. They will find Xena and I and we will handle things together.

The next day pulled around and we were on our way back home. I wanted Xena to stay at the tavern, but she would have none of that. The three-hour trip was Lila and I blabbing while Xena was on her horse being the warrior. The closer we got to home, the uneasier I became. My love sensed this and hopped off Argo, put her arm around me and said everything would be fine.

When we got home, Mom was the first to greet us. She cried and hugged Lila and I, then just said hi to my warrior. We talked and I told mother that I would not let him hit her anymore. That is when my mother broke down. Part of the fighting was that Lila stuck up for me. It is no secret that father dislikes everything that I do, and hates my wife. So, we all talked and prepared for father.

When we heard the wagon pull up, it was as if time stood still. He opened the door and started. He said things like, get that whore out of my home, he yelled at mother, and Lila. Then he made a big mistake. He blamed me for Lila running off and all his other troubles, and then he raised his hand to strike me. All I saw was a flash of warrior. Xena had him by the throat and he was no longer touching the ground. I was so sure she was going to kill him. I put my hand on hers and just asked her to stop. Before she did, in her darkest voice, she told him if he ever tried to strike anything, including a match, she would kill him. Then she dropped him to the floor and put a protective arm around me.

He was coughing and gasping for air. After several minutes, he started again, then for the first time in my life I heard my mother say, Shut up you old fool. We were all struck dumb. He started to tell her not to talk to him that way and she said shut up again, and pushed him in a chair by the dinner table. Lila and I looked at one another like, is this our Mom?

She chewed him up one side then down the other. It was beautiful. I looked towards my wife and she had a huge grin across her face.  Mom told him that things are going to change and if he did not cut the crap out, she would leave his sorry ass! Way to go mom! I almost wet myself then and there. For the first time in my life my father shut up, he was now whipped. For the final and last point, she told him if she ever saw him raise another hand to either of her children he would not have to worry about Xena killing him, she would. He gave her a cocky smirk, but that fell when she told him he had to sleep sometime. GODS! I heard Xena squeal in the background with that one.

After that he got up and stomped out of the house. He lost and he knew it. Then mom turned to us and broke down again apologizing for all the years she did nothing. We all hugged, talked, and just loved one another. I even got the warrior to in on it. Father came back later for dinner, but was silent. Xena and I stayed a few extra days to make sure things were OK. Mom and Dad talked, things were now different. My mother had a voice and he knew it.

Now I am here camping with my love, thinking for the first time in my life, I have a home. Xena is my home, the only one I will ever need. It is just comforting to know that Poteidaia is home also. Thank you for my family.


Until tomorrow,

Read Journal Entry #7 "Fear"

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