I
Found My Heart in San Francisco
Book
1: Awakenings
By: S X Meagher
Disclaimers:
None needed, since this is an Uber story.
The characters in this story come from my imagination and belong to
the author. But if anyone in the legal
department of MCA/Universal is looking for similarities between this story
and a certain syndicated show, rest assured that no monetary gain will result
from its publication. However, if anyone
would like to offer me a hefty advance, please disclaim the disclaimer.
Sex/Love: I never have
and I never will disclaim either love or sex.
I'm overly fond of both but if you aren't, look elsewhere. I should mention that a few graphic depictions
of sex between members of the opposite sex are included but my characters
quickly come to their senses and abandon their attempts to be heterosexual.
Graphic Language:
My characters occasionally curse like they have Tourette's syndrome. I've tried to make them sound like real humans
and sometimes you just have to say 'what the f--k?', and they use the actual terms for all of the
organs of the body, including the fun parts.
Continuing Story/Serial Warning:
This is the first story of a looooong series.
A new book will be published every other month until I run out of ideas
or my girlfriend confiscates my laptop. I'm
naming each of the books sequentially for the letters of the alphabet.
If you can think of a hot story title that begins with Z, please let
me know (I'm not really that far along yet).
Feedback: I'm consumed by self-criticism; therefore
only positive feedback will be read. If
you enjoyed the story please stroke my fragile ego, if not, flush it from
your memory bank and move on. You can email me at sx_meagher@mindspring.com
Acknowledgments: Primarily
to my lover/proofreader/editor/publicist Carrie. Without her support, enthusiastic praise, and
tireless patience this book would not exist ñ and I doubt that I would, either.
I
was inspired to create this work by the plethora of talented writers in the
Xenaverse. I've read hundreds of stories but the following
writers have been particularly inspiring (in alpha order):
NeNe
Adams; Sharon Bowers; Vivian Darkbloom; DJWP; Melissa Good; L.N. James; Journs;
Katrina; B.L. Miller; Tonya Muir; C. Paradee; Penumbra; Della Street, and
SwordnQuill.
Chapter
1
She
grabbed the first shirt that caught her eye.
In a casual move she slipped it on over the tank top she wore. The small blonde shop owner noticed that she
did not look in a mirror to determine her satisfaction with the garment. It seemed as though she had an internal mirror
to gauge her appearance. She stood
for a moment or two until a look of pleasure overtook her handsome face.
The shop owner met her glance as she made her way toward her beautiful
customer.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
she asked, hoping to engage this woman in at least a conversation.
"Yeah, I think I'll take this shirt,"
she indicated, passing her strong hands down her torso. "Do you think it suits me?" she asked with a twinkle in
her clear blue eyes.
"It definitely suits you, but then, so would
just about anything I sell," the golden haired woman replied, openly
admiring the statuesque woman.
"That's the nicest compliment I've had all
day," she drawled as a smile twitched her lips.
"It's only 11:00 o'clock," she playfully
responded. "I'll bet that you'll
have more than you can handle by nightfall."
Wow,
she really wants to play. Well, I'm
always up for a game...let's see how far she'll go.
"Would you like to spend some of the day with
me to help me fight off all of the compliments being hurled my way?"
she asked with a wolfish grin.
"I would," the shop owner stated hesitantly,
as she darted a glance around the store, "but I don't have any
other help today, and I'm open till nine tonight."
"Hmm, that is late," the dark haired
customer agreed with a regretful shake of her head.
Her perfectly shaped eyebrows knit together for a moment and then her
features broke into a sly grin. "How
do you stop for lunch or a break?" she asked smoothly.
"When business is slow I can just lock up
for a little while." She blushed
a bit as the implications of this thought and the knowing grin of her pursuer
hit her.
"I haven't seen another soul come in since
I've been here," the dark woman said with a gaze that locked on green
eyes.
"I'm not sure I would have noticed if someone
had," she replied, feeling just a little weak in the knees. She was astonished at her open flirting with
this woman. This was generally not
something that she did, but something about this woman called to her and she
was unable to control the responses coming from her mouth or her body.
"If you were to take a little break to nibble
on something where would you go?" blue eyes darkening with open desire.
Her dry mouth squeaked out, "I have a little
office with a couch in the back of the store," and she felt her hand
point weakly at a door in the rear of the building.
"I'll be right back," soothed the stranger,
as she made her way with confident strides to the front of the store. She glanced at the door and spotted a sign that
mimicked a clock that read 'Will Return In' with little blue plastic clock
hands. She moved the hands to noon,
turned the sign around and slapped the bolt on the door in place. She was back at the small woman's side before
the shop owner could take a step in either direction. The dark woman gently clasped her small hand
in her own powerful one and guided her to the office.
In less than the beat of a heart, she found herself
sprawled against the worn dark leather of her couch, responding with ferocity
to the caresses of her beautiful customer. The intensity of the touch and the powerful aura that radiated from
this woman were truly overwhelming. She
felt completely powerless to slow the pace or collect her scattered thoughts.
She knew that this was very much unlike her, but she had no desire
to stop the relentless assault to her senses.
There was a fire within this woman and she needed to dive into the
conflagration.
She felt her clothing being gently removed...first
her deep red French cut t-shirt, then her short black skirt. Both were tossed casually to the floor. She shivered a little at the coolness of the
leather on her bare skin. The strong
hands moved over her body rubbing her breasts through the lace of her bra. Then they slowly glided over her grinding hips
to caress her curves through her silky panties. Those practiced hands then removed even these barriers to those fierce
blue eyes and warm wet lips.
Those lips descended on the small woman with a
burning fire that ratcheted her desire up several notches. She craved more contact. She wrapped her fingers in the onyx tresses
and ground the woman's mouth to her breasts, arching into the sensation. Reluctantly, she released her grasp when she
felt the head sliding down her abdomen. She
raised her legs and slid them around the powerful shoulders that paused above
her for just a moment. She looked beseechingly
at those clear blue eyes and uttered the only word that would tumble from
her lips, "Please." She was
met with a wide smile and a look of quiet pleasure from those beautiful orbs.
The dark head dipped and tasted her passion, which flowed from her
like lava, burning in its intensity. She gasped and tried to vocalize her pleasure,
but was unable to utter more than a low growl. That tortured sound was met by an even lower
growl that sounded like the contented murmurings of a panther over its kill.
She thrust her hips at the mouth that covered her,
watching with half-closed eyes as the dark head moved slowly between her legs.
Long, blissful moments passed as she allowed herself to be completely
consumed. But after too short a time
she felt herself go rigid for a split second as she teetered on the edge of
climax. One firm, wet kiss and she
plummeted over, completely unable to hold back any longer.
She grunted out her pleasure as she grabbed the dark head and pressed
it against herself firmly. Finally
she felt the mouth slowly still. She
rested for a moment and then felt delicate kisses begin to tenderly remove
the traces of her passion. Her legs
relaxed and she was finally able to speak.
"That was wonderful," she languidly enthused to the dark
head still nestled between her legs. The head tilted up and rested on her abdomen,
smiling at her with twinkling eyes.
"You did seem to enjoy it," the dancing
beautiful blue eyes responded with a chuckle.
"Let me return the favor," the small
woman huskily responded as she reached up to unbutton the new shirt.
"I wish we had time, but it's almost noon,"
the dark woman said with obvious regret. "The
buying public is probably lined up outside your door. Remember, I did promise to only keep you for
a little nibble."
"There are plenty of other clothing stores
on Telegraph Avenue," the golden haired woman responded lazily from her
still blissful languor.
"Yes, but none of the others have the great
customer service that you offer," the dark woman teased. She was rising from the floor and straightening
her clothing as she responded.
"Are you really leaving?" the small woman
said with genuine surprise. "But...don't
you...I want to please you too," she begged.
"You already did," said the smiling blue
eyes. "I am glad I decided to
buy this shirt, however," she indicated the rumpled garment with the
wet marks gracing the placket. "The
ah...design might not appeal to all of your customers," she stated with
a quirky grin that lit up her face. "Although
I think it will become one of my favorites," she added with a twinkle
in those clear blue eyes. "Which reminds me, what do I owe you?"
"I should pay you for that little lunch break," she said sheepishly. "Please consider it a small thank you gift."
"Okay, but next time I'll try not to damage
the merchandise before I've paid for it," she said with another twinkle.
"Will there be a next time?" the honey
haired woman asked tentatively.
She was met with a confident leer, "Count
on it." Then the tall woman turned
and started for the exit, giving her one last dazzling grin as she paused
at the door, and was gone.
The small woman straightened her clothing and made
herself as presentable as possible. She
floated dreamily out of the office and walked behind the counter.
Resting neatly on the glass surface were two twenty-dollar bills and
a note that read, "Thanks for the nibble.
You made my day."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I
hope I didn't make a mistake in taking this class. I'm just afraid I'll stick out like a sore thumb. And what I should wear? I really don't want to look too straight...hmm
"Ohh, that feels really good sweetheart,"
Jamie murmured into Jack's ear. But
as soon as the words left her lips she regretted her statement. In his defense, Jack was nothing if not receptive
to instructions. Regrettably, he took
them a bit too seriously. He seemed
to reason that if something felt good, he should continue to do it until he
was bodily forced to stop.
"That's a little too much, Jack." Jamie did her best to keep the edge out of her
voice. She sighed deeply and reflected that she was absolutely sure that
she did not have instructions printed on her stomach but Jack acted as though
he was following some kind of script. He
was tender and sweet and very attentive. But he had no spontaneity...no intuitive sense of how to please her.
He went back to his usual routine and Jamie fell
back into her reverie. I can always drop the damn class if I feel too
uncomfortable. It's really no big deal.
Jack was close now and she whispered words of love
into his ear to hasten his climax. She
loved his ears...they were perfectly shaped and had just a light covering
of downy blonde hair on them. When
he was excited they glowed with an attractive blush that Jamie found irresistible.
He threw his head back as his eyes became glassy
and unfocused. He spent his release
into her as she rubbed his back and murmured into his pink ear. After a moment as his breathing slowed he looked
at her with concern in his deep blue eyes, "You didn't finish, did you?"
"That's okay, Honey, you can get me twice
tomorrow," she said with a sweet smile.
"You look so tired, Love, put your head down here," she said
as she patted her chest. He looked
as though he wanted to argue, but she was gently tracing patterns on his back
and he quickly lost his will to insist. He
rested his sandy blonde head on her breast and was asleep in moments.
She regarded his attractive tanned face with loving
eyes. I am so lucky to have him, she thought. He tries so hard to please
me. Not many men would be so concerned
with my pleasure. I just wish I knew
how to explain how I like to be touched. She
lightly ran her fingers through the damp hair covering his forehead.
I just wish I could relax about the whole thing, she thought. I'm only 20 years old and they say most women
don't hit their sexual peak until they're in their 40's. Jack
shifted a bit and nestled his head into her neck. Well, that thought really helped,
she groused. I'll
just wait 20 years to feel hot.
Jack
had turned 24 just the week before, the same day he had gone back to Stanford
for his third year of law school. Their
relationship had reached this stage of intimacy quite recently. Jamie's friends had teasingly called her the
"last attractive virgin in California," for the past 4 years. But when Jamie made up her mind about something,
it was tough to change it. She had
decided when she was 15 that she would not have intercourse with a man she
did not love.
She steadfastly stuck to that resolve even when
her hormones were on full alert. It
had surprised her and shocked her friends that a guy like Jack had continued
to date her for 2 years. But Jack,
like Jamie, knew what he wanted and would sacrifice to get it. He was very happy when she relented at the beginning
of the summer and they had consummated their love. They had spent a lot of time together during
the past 3 months but Jamie continued to stay with her parents to avoid any
questions about their relationship. It
had been hard on Jack to see her for just a few hours a day, but he coped
with the inconvenience like he did so many things.
They were both looking forward to the start of
Jamie's fall semester at Berkeley as a way to have more quality time together.
They had made plans for her to come down to Palo Alto every Friday
night to spend the weekend, and Jamie hoped these times together would give
her some indication of what married life would be like.
As
she cradled Jack's head on her chest she reflected over the last 2 years of
their relationship. When they met Jamie
had just graduated from The Oaks, a private academy on the Peninsula. Much to her parents' displeasure, she was going
to attend the University of California at Berkeley. Both of her parents were Stanford alum's and
they were very much invested in having their only child attend their alma
mater. But Jamie wanted to see a different
side of the Bay Area. She knew that
Stanford would be like continuing in high school. They same type of rich, smart kids. The same type of parties, although now in a
fraternity house. She wanted to see
the grittier, more vibrant side of the city that Hillsborough insulated her
from.
Jamie was taken with Jack from the onset. He was working as a summer associate at her
father's law firm just getting ready for his first year of law school. She still remembered the night her father had
brought him home for dinner. She took
one look at the tall, well built young man and knew that her sparkling eyes
were sending a clear message. Over
dinner he responded with a matching level of interest and by the next weekend
they went on their first date. He was
tall, and well built with broad sloping shoulders and a runner's lean frame. He had a strong face with a perennial deep tan
and his deep blue eyes were framed by pale blonde lashes. His hair was thick and straight, colored a nice
shade of ash blonde that lightened a bit in the summer. He wore it parted on the side and relatively
short in the back. There was usually
a thick shock of it hanging just a little bit in his eyes. It gave him a cute, boyish look that Jamie loved
from the start.
He was such a welcome change from the boys she
had known in high school. He was mature,
and confident and very interested in her. But unlike her high school dates he did not seem only interested
in her for sex. He wanted to build
a relationship.
As she watched Jack sleep in her arms she felt
a fierce well of emotion build up inside of her.
I'll try to be what you need,
Jack. But I need you to be patient
with me while I figure some things out.
Sunday morning dawned bright and clear. Jamie was up early, as was her custom. When Jack made his way into the small kitchen
she was sitting at the counter drinking a large latte' and reading the New
York Times.
"Hi, sleepyhead," she teased as their
eyes met.
"Wow, I didn't realize how tired I was,"
he said sheepishly. "It's past
8! I never sleep that late." As he shuffled over to her she opened her arms
and enveloped him in a big hug. "Maybe
Dr. Jamie's sleeping potion was too strong for you," she murmured.
He grinned down at her as he replied, "That
reminds me, I need to give you a double dose of that potion today."
"Okay, Doc, but at the moment I would like
to get you into clothes, not out of them.
Remember you promised we could go to church today."
"Oh, right," he said as he remembered
their plan. "Let me take a quick
shower and we can get going. Did you
want to hit the 9:00 or the 11:00 o'clock service?"
"I thought 9 o'clock and then maybe we can
play a round with Daddy if he's available," she said.
"Sounds good, Sweetie," he said over
his shoulder as he walked into the bathroom.
"Why don't you give him a buzz?"
The day was shaping up well. Her father happily agreed to play golf, but
since her mother had just returned from her month long vacation to visit her
family in Newport she wanted to come along and have brunch beforehand. Gosh,
I can't believe I completely forgot that she was back this week, Jamie
thought. I really
should have called her on the day she came back.
They
settled into a pew near the front of the small, Episcopal Church on the outskirts
of Nob Hill. As the choir began the
opening hymn they turned slightly to watch the procession. As the acolytes, the verger and the choir filed
past Jamie made eye contact with a gray haired elegant looking priest.
She wrinkled up her nose a bit and winked at him.
He gave her a fond smile and winked back.
Charles
Sloan Evans had been an Episcopal priest for nearly 40 years. He and his wife had reared a son and a 2 daughters.
The eldest being Jamie's father. Jamie
had always known where her father got his sense of humor and his generally
easy going nature. But as much as she loved her father, her grandfather
was Jamie's ideal of what a man should be. He was kind, warm, empathetic and very funny.
Jamie spent many an hour in his study just talking about life.
He seemed to understand her in a way that she doubted anyone else ever
would. Her grandmother had died before Jamie was born,
but her grandfather never seemed lonely. He
was very dedicated to his calling and genuinely loved helping people through
the trying times of their lives. Jamie
knew that her grandfather was a bit disappointed in his only son. Rev. Evans felt that his son had not found his
true soul mate and he was dismayed at the lack of time that he spent with
his family. He felt that Jim had been
lured by the money and power that his wife's family promised. But Jim had produced this most perfect of granddaughters
and for that he was eternally grateful.
After the reading of the gospel, Rev. Evans climbed
to the pulpit. His deep, clear voice
warmed Jamie's heart. Few things made
her happier than hearing her grandfather impart his wisdom on his congregation.
His sermon spoke of love, one of his favorite themes.
Jamie could not imagine attending a church where the message was sin
and retribution. But even though his message was usually happy,
her grandfather had a way of making even difficult topics seem uplifting and
hopeful.
He spoke of love being God's greatest gift to man
and the most visible sign of His presence among us. Through love for another, humans acknowledged
this gift of love from God and expressed it in concrete form. In no other way could we feel His love for us
as completely. This manifestation was
a gift to be cherished-not taken frivolously. Through the loving pairing of two people God dwells among them.
Jamie was thoughtful through the rest of the service.
Is that how I feel?"
she thought.
Do my feelings for Jack reflect that peak experience? Is this
the height of my expression of God's love?
As they filed out of the church, hand in hand,
Jack turned to Jamie and said, "Wasn't that a great sermon?"
"Yes," agreed Jamie, "it really
gave me something to think about."
"Your grandfather just expressed exactly how
I feel about you Jamie," he said with a beautiful smile on his face. Jamie felt her heart break at the look of love
on Jack's face.
She pasted a similar smile on her own face and
said, "I'm very happy that you told me that Jack." She stretched on her tiptoes as she reached up with tears in her
eyes and gave him a chaste kiss. He
beamed down at her and remarked, "We are two lucky people, Jamie."
"We are that, Jack," she agreed with
a tear in her eyes.
Jack enthusiastically shook Rev. Evans hand as
they exited the church. Jamie gave
her grandfather a big hug that was returned with gusto. "You hit another home run, Poppa," she teased.
"Well, when I have such an attentive audience
it inspires me to swing for the fences," he agreed. After a few minutes of banter, the couple excused themselves and
made their way to the Club for brunch.
The Olympic Club was the scene of the majority
of Jamie's Sundays since she was a small child. Her parents dutifully took her to church and Sunday school but when
she was old enough to drive herself, they began to find excuses for the religious
part of the day. But both of her parents
loved to while away the afternoon at the Club. Her father played golf while her mother chatted
with her friends or sometimes played tennis. They nearly always enjoyed brunch together as a family, though.
As they sat at their table overlooking the 18th green Jamie regarded
them all with an appraising eye. This is
exactly where I will be in 20 years, she thought. Jack and I will be with our children at a table
just like this one. We will be eating
the same food from the same china. Some
of the waiters will still be here. We
will be having the same topical conversation with the other members about
our golf games and our families and our busy lives. He and I will love each other but we will not
share much other than the children. His
real love will be his career. Is this
what I want? But if not, what do I
want?
She was jolted from her musings by the crisply
uniformed waiter saying, "Miss Jamie, what would you like to drink?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Harold, lemonade would be great,
thank you."
"Jamie, you seem a thousand miles away this
morning," said Jack. "Is
anything wrong?"
"No, of course not," she replied lightly. "I'm just thinking about school starting
tomorrow. I guess I'm just preoccupied."
"Do you have your pencils sharpened and a
new Star Wars lunchbox?" he teased.
"I was partial to Malibu Barbie myself,"
she retorted.
"I'm sure this will be a great year for you,"
he reassured her as he squeezed her hand.
"And for us," he added with a confident grin.
Jamie made her way back to the home she shared
with her roommates. She plodded along
the 101 in her yellow Porsche Boxster fighting the heavy traffic. Why
does every living soul have to leave the City for the weekend?" she
mused. She hoped that her good friend
Mia would be home. She really enjoyed
spending time with her old high school buddy. Maybe she will be able to help
me out of this funk, Jamie thought.
But I guess I need to be sure what it is about, before anyone can help me get out of it. She just felt so---restless. Yes, she was restless...but for what? She truly did not know. She just felt unsettled. She really thought that her engagement to Jack
would settle her feelings. She had
thought that once this part of her life was secured, she would feel more at
peace. In reality, it had made things
more uncomfortable. But no matter how
much thought she devoted to the problem she did not know how to rectify it. There was nothing wrong with Jack, of that she
was sure. Nine tenths of the women in America would give their right arm to
be with a man like him, she thought. The
problem seemed to be with her. There
was just something missing. There was
a feeling of peace that she craved but just could not conjure up when they
were together. But if she was honest
with herself the peaceful feeling was not something that she experienced very
often, with Jack or alone. Oh,
well, I'm only 20 years old. Maybe
I'm supposed to feel unsettled, she thought as she drove on through the
night.
When Jamie announced her decision to attend Berkeley
her parents had very reluctantly agreed, with the proviso that she not live
on campus. They wanted her in an atmosphere
closer to that of a real home and they were helped in this quest by some of
Jamie's classmates. Mia Christopher
was the daughter of Adam and Anna Lisa Christopher. Adam was a partner at another prestigious law
firm in San Francisco and a Stanford classmate of Jamie's father, Jim. The families were cordial to one another but
the girls mothers were not particularly close.
Anna Lisa was a fiery first generation American whose family hailed
from Italy, but Jamie's mother Catherine was from a very old very wealthy
W.A.S.P. lineage. The women liked one
another well enough but they were far too different to feel really comfortable
with one another.
Another prep school classmate, Cassie Martin also
enrolled at Cal. The situation with
Cassie was just the opposite from Mia. Jamie's
mother and Cassie's mother, Laura were very good friends, but their husbands
had never hit it off. Likewise, Jamie
liked Cassie well enough but she had never felt particularly close to Cassie,
nor had she ever truly trusted her. But their mother's close relationship forced
the girls together frequently and Jamie did not feel strongly enough to fight
the situation so she went along and made the best of it.
All 3 sets of parents agreed that if the girls
were to attend Cal it would be best if they lived together in a suitable home.
So the three mothers got together and swept through Berkeley like a
tsunami. They interviewed real estate
agents and found an acceptable house within walking distance of campus.
It was a large craftsman style bungalow, built in the early 1920's. It had originally contained 3 bedrooms and one
bath but through the years additions had enhanced the original layout to create
more generous bedrooms and add 1 1/2 baths. All of the bedrooms and two baths were on the 2nd floor. The first floor contained a very large, airy
kitchen with a powder room and a door to a small, shaded back yard, a formal
dining room, a spacious parlor and a small oak paneled library. The house was truly beautiful with its generous
deep front porch, original leaded glass windows and beautifully restored redwood
moldings throughout. Jamie loved the
house from the moment she saw it, which was lucky since neither she nor her
friends were consulted on the decision. Catherine Evans had made the actual purchase
of the house since she could make a purchase of that size without even noticing
the dent in her bank balance. The others
paid a reasonable amount of rent, and all shared utilities.
The
girls' mothers had furnished the home in a very attractive, if not luxurious
style. Jamie's mother had purchased
all of the kitchen utensils since the other girls had no interest in cooking. Jamie put her hours of observing their family
cook, Marta, to good use in cooking for herself and anyone else who was willing
to help clean up afterward.
They got along well all through freshman year.
But during that summer both Cassie and Mia obtained steady boyfriends.
Mia's new love Jason went to UCLA, but Cassie's boyfriend Chris went
to Cal. This changed the dynamic between
the women and upset the balance they had created. While they did not really argue, Jamie and Mia began to grow more
distant from Cassie and spend less and less time together. Even though Jack was just down the freeway at
Stanford the fact that she did not often see him during the week allowed Jamie
and Mia to still spend quite a bit of time together. Jamie had always liked Mia, but during this past year they had grown
particularly close. Neither of them
had a sister and they had begun to share the intimate secrets of their lives,
creating a deep bond. Mia liked Jack
and constantly teased Jamie about him. Jamie
also liked Mia's boyfriend Jason, but she saw very little of him because he
was in L.A. and did not often come to the Bay Area for visits.
As Jamie pulled up to the drive she saw that Mia's
car was at home. She breathed a sigh
of relief when she saw that Cassie's car was absent. In a way it was silly for them to have 3 cars in Berkeley. They did not drive to school or use the cars
much, but they came in handy for driving to the Peninsula for the occasional
weekend at home.
"Hey Mia, are you here?" Jamie asked
hopefully.
"Yeah, I'm upstairs," came the reply.
"You want anything from the kitchen?"
Jamie shouted back up the stairs.
"Yeah, bring me a diet anything," Mia
shouted back.
After making her brief stop in the kitchen Jamie
lugged her overnight bag and two diet Sprites up the wide oak staircase. Mia was lying on her bed, her room a total mess
as usual. She was inattentively watching
television with a CD playing in the background. She stood in the doorway and watched her friend
for a moment, looking at her usually sunny, slightly cherubic face that was
now resting in a bored grimace. "Couldn't
decide?" Jamie asked, pointing at the TV and the CD player in sequence.
"I'm bored," Mia moaned, shaking her
curly mid-length medium brown hair. "I'm
so glad you're home early James," she said as her dark brown eyes twinkled
up at her friend. Jamie smiled at the
nickname that Mia had bestowed on her during high school. Mia stretched languidly, pulling her 5'4"
frame to its full length. Her friend's
body resembled her own in both size and weight. Both women were quite thin, almost painfully so at times, but there
was a sturdy athleticism lurking within both that had never really been tapped.
"I'm glad I'm back too, I missed you, buddy."
"You did?
Why?" Mia asked suspiciously.
"Did the perfect couple have a fight?"
"No, of course not. You know we don't fight. I
just wanted to spend some time with you and get some girl talk in," Jamie
admitted a little shyly.
"What's up James? You do look a little down," Mia agreed.
"I don't know, Mia. That's my problem. I just
feel restless, like I want something to happen, but I don't know what."
"Are things any better between the sheets
with old Jack?" Mia asked with a devilish grin.
"Mia, don't tease me," Jamie said with
a hint of irritation in her voice. She
knew she should not be irritable with Mia, but she was a little unhappy about
her sex life and she really didn't like discussing it.
She would never have broached the topic with Mia at all, but her friend
had been sexually active since 16 and was very open and cavalier about the
topic. This generally relaxed Jamie
enough so that she could talk about it, something they had been doing more
and more of lately.
"Hey, James, I didn't mean to offend you. Are you okay?" she asked with real concern
in her voice.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mia. Things aren't any better and I'm getting kind of frustrated,"
she finally admitted.
"You know, Jamie, I didn't start really enjoying
sex for 3 years after I started. And
it's only been since Jason that I really love it."
"Really?" Jamie asked, rather astounded.
"Well," she admitted as she tossed her
head. "There were parts that I
always liked but I didn't really like intercourse until Jason."
"But that's what is so frustrating, Mia. Before we actually had sex it was great with
Jack. We would kiss and touch each
other for hours. I felt so close to
him. I would go home some nights and
just feel like I was on fire. But since
we started to, well, you know," she blushed, "it feels so mechanical."
"James I hate to break this to you but you
are experiencing what every woman goes through when you go from teasing a
guy to really doing it," she laughed.
"I don't know what you mean."
"When a guy can't go all the way he has to
spend all of his time doing what he thinks you want.
For most women that means kissing and holding each other and touching
each other. He keeps doing that until
you figure, 'This guy will really know how to make love to me.' You finally give in and then he has all the
cards. He finally gets to do what he
wants and it's payback time, baby! As
little foreplay as possible, check for moisture content and then it's time
for the main event!"
Jamie looked at her with a completely shocked expression
on her face.
"That look on your face says I've hit the
penis on the head," Mia teased.
"But Mia, why would women ever want to make
love if that's all it was?" Jamie practically cried in frustration.
"Well, girlfriend, that's not all it ever
is. If you find a guy who really loves
to make love, it's all that and then some," she said encouragingly.
"But Mia, Jack tries soooo hard. It really bothers him if I don't come. He attacks me like a legal brief. He believes if he works harder and smarter it'll
be great. I've tried to get him to
relax. I have even considered faking
an orgasm, but he watches me so closely I know he would know I was faking
and that would really hurt him."
"Have you tried to, ah, lend him a hand, so
to speak?" Mia asked with a playful tone.
"Yes," Jamie said as she blushed again. "But he seems to regard that as a failure
on his part. I've tried to tell him
that I'm just helping a little, but it's hardly worth it when I see the hurt
look on his face."
"I feel for you, hon," Mia said. "I have engaged in more bad sex acts than
I can count, but it must be hard when it's with a man you love."
"That's what really scares me, Mia. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with
Jack. If we don't enjoy sex now, I
have no reason to believe it will be better in the future. Honestly Mia, at times I just hope he comes to bed and doesn't want
to do it," she said sadly. "I
mean, shouldn't we just be tearing each others clothes off this early in our
relationship?"
"Well, I would think so, judging from my limited
experience in doing it with guys I love," she agreed. "But don't worry so much, James.
You have a great relationship and Jack is a fantastic guy. Maybe he's right and more hard work will help
everything to work out," she said hopefully.
"Yeah, you're probably right," agreed
Jamie. "I mean we have only been
doing it for 3 months. Maybe we just
have to get used to each other a little bit more.
Thanks for talking this over with me, Mia. You're the only one I trust enough to talk about this with."
"You're welcome, sweetie. I hope you know you can tell me anything."
As Jamie got ready for bed she thought over what
Mia had said. Well, I've got the rest of my life to work on this; I guess I don't have
to be in that much of a hurry. Mia's
right. There is no reason to think
this will not all work out in the end. I mean, I do have the rest of my life to make some progress on this.
As the class settled noisily into their seats,
Professor Linda Levy scanned their faces.
Not bad, she thought. At least there are 3 men.
"May I have your attention, please?" 20 mildly expectant faces gazed at her. "Welcome to Psychology 197-The Psychology
of the Lesbian Experience. My name
is Linda Levy. I'd like to get some
housekeeping matters out of the way and then I'll give you an overview of
the class. If we have time I would
like each of you to introduce yourselves.
I should warn you though, that this class is very interactive. If you're looking for a quiet place where you
can sleep in the back row for 3 hours a week, you've come to the wrong place!"
Jamie closely regarded the professor. She was a small woman, about Jamie's height-5'4"
or so. She was fit and trim and wore
chinos with an attractive print silk blouse in shades of tan and brown.
She had a warm smile and lively twinkling eyes.
Her wavy chin length hair was parted on the side, and there was a sprinkling
of gray in it. Jamie guessed her to be somewhere in her 40's
although she had to admit that she was not terribly good at guessing ages.
Linda walked from row to row and handed out 3x5
cards. "I would like you to give
me a little personal information on these cards," she stated. A number of giggles hit some of the women.
"It's not necessary to give me that
information unless you think it is relevant," she replied with a
laugh of her own. "I suppose we should tackle that little issue right away,"
she said as she perched on the end of the large wooden desk situated at the
front of the room.
"I am now, and I have always been a practicing
lesbian," she said with another twinkle in her eyes. "However, lesbianism is not a pre-req for this course. I'm sure that will relieve you guys," she
said as she pointed at the 3 men sitting near one another. "This class deals with the psychological
issues that may be encountered by a group of people who have in many ways
been marginalized by society. We will
be undertaking this survey with the eyes of scholars-...not participants. This is not a 'How to be a lesbian' course.
You do not need to declare your sexual orientation to the rest of the
class. The class usually turns out
to be predominantly lesbian, but I not only welcome heterosexuals, I really
encourage straight people to take the class.
It is the people who are not part of the peer group who can have the
biggest impact on changing societal perceptions," she stated with conviction.
Jamie was relieved by this little explanation. I think
I'm going to like this, she thought rather happily.
Linda continued, "On the cards I would like
you to give me your names, phone numbers and a general idea of when you are
available to do outside projects. I
want to pair up class members based on their time availability to make it
easier for everyone."
The class worked on their cards for a few minutes
as Linda watched. Well, they look a little less nervous now. This
looks like it might be a good group.
Jamie worked on her card-neatly writing her relevant
information on the white rectangle. She
indicated her home number and just to be thorough she included Jack's number
with the words 'fiancés home number'. Well, it doesn't hurt to get
that out of the way right from the start, she thought
Linda looked quickly at the cards as they were
turned in. Oh, that's cute,
she said to herself as she saw Jamie's card.
It always amazes me how people get those little tidbits of information
in, she thought wryly as she noted that Jamie had somehow mentioned that
she possessed a fiancé. She
tried to match people's availability and was pleased that she was able to
do so fairly easily. "Okay people,
I'm going to write down partner names on the board.
After we do our introductions you'll be able to find each other."
She strode to the board and began to write the
10 pairs. Jamie saw her name go up
on the board next to that of Ryan O'Flaherty.
Oh, great, she moaned to
herself, I take a class in lesbianism
and I get paired up with a guy. Well,
at least he won't assume he can hit on me, she thought hopefully. Unless
he's the type who thinks lesbians are hot, she thought suspiciously. God, Jamie,
get a grip! Yesterday you were afraid
of the women and today you're disappointed that you're with a man!
Linda returned to her perch on the front corner
of the desk. "Okay, let's get
to work." She launched into a
rather lengthy speech on how the course was developed, how long she had been
teaching it, and how it fit into the curriculum for psych majors.
Jamie was pleased with the way the course was organized.
This could really be interesting, she thought. I know so little about lesbians-and
that's a liability in San Francisco. That's like living in L.A. And not knowing anything about the beach!
Linda looked at her watch and noted with surprise
that the 70 minutes was just about up. "I apologize for going on so long," she said. "If you don't mind you can try to find
each other after class to meet your partner.
I'll see you all on Wednesday morning and we can discuss some of the
class projects."
Well,
at least I have it easy, thought Jamie...there are only 3 guys. She approached
the first and tentatively asked, "Are you Ryan?"
"Nope," he replied, "I'm Todd."